How to Read People & Outsmart Manipulation | Joe Goldberg Analysis | You Netflix

if you subscribe to Netflix you might have chanced upon the series you which is a crime and psychological thriller that has gained massive popularity due to people's love-hate relationship with the main character Joe Goldberg it depicts the life of Joe and how he develops a crush towards an aspiring writer back when they first meet at the bookstore that he works in their seemingly innocent interaction starts to turn sour when Joe's obsession gets the best of him now don't worry I won't get into too much detail of how the story goes because I don't want to spoil the series for you that much but basically Joe's character is a dysfunctional one and his actions get increasingly unsettling throughout the series now you may be thinking what exactly can we learn from such a problematic character well on the flip side of this pretty dark personality Joe actually has a very solid understanding of human behavior and super-sharp social skills that allows him to navigate almost every type of social situation his ability to quickly detect and analyze people's patterns and thought processes is what allows him to solicit the exact response he wants from the other person now you might think this to be troubling but if you want to navigate through tricky social situations and even outsmart manipulation then there's a lot you can learn from this quick-witted character and in this episode of psychology detective we're gonna dive deep into the mysterious psyche of Joe Goldberg and how you can apply these psychological hacks to navigate challenging social dynamics number one the secret weapon of silent observation unlike the character forty who is loud and talkative Joe is mainly nonreactive and only says what needs to be said when necessary when faced with a challenging or confronting situation Joe is mostly calm and keeps a straight face his silent and observant nature makes him very difficult to read and also gives him the opportunity to assess the situation thoroughly and analyze the characteristics of the person he's talking to this gives him the upper hand in the con and the power to direct their interaction in a way that will eventually benefit him now on the other hand 40 is someone who always says what's on his mind without really thinking about the consequences of his words or actions he is a very impulsive person which makes him extremely predictable and easy to influence by being a silent observer in a pressing or demanding situation you will not be too quick to give away information that can be used against you later instead it is an opportunity to collect information and remain nonreactive so that you can properly guide the conversation in the direction that you want it to go also this is the perfect opportunity for point number to see through the facade and pretense Joe is anything but cliche in fact if there was a person who invented the word cliche it would be him he doesn't buy into the hype which is what allows him to see through the cracks of every person past their facades which is what makes him such a social genius take this scene for example on how Joe describes Los Angeles your followers see an image and imagine you're on top of the world what they don't see is the effort you're putting into this fantasy you're hiding behind this facade but you tell yourself you live off the earth that deep breath isn't you savoring the gluten-free muffin you're preening your ego and breaking an intermittent fast if it was actually a story of substance I could forgive you for writing a screenplay instead of a book but you're not writing anything groundbreaking you tell yourself you are but you're not see that's the thing about LA everyone is pretending to be somebody they're not by objectively viewing his surroundings and the people in it Joe can immediately spot the irony and pitfalls of each perspective in other words he judges people based on stereotypes and according to that he is able to see the predictability of their personality this is a common technique that comedians use they tend to categorize people according to stereotypes and then call up the irony in that particular stereotype which is what makes an obvious fact and become funny take this comedian for example who finds the irony in the stereotype of Mexicans and Koreans and the Mexicans and the Koreans are in constant racial warfare and their weapons are loud music versus frowning being able to see through the facade and pretense of other people is really Joe's expertise and it comes in handy when reading into a person's agenda but what is a facade or a pretense well it's basically a personality that a person displays which doesn't really reflect the whole truth of who they really are or what their real intentions are in a given circumstance for example bullies use the facade of intimidation to hide their insecurities or vulnerabilities so as to gain superiority in the social group or a class clown maybe using humor as a facade to gain approval in popularity among his or her peers so as to avoid social rejection or a parent may be using self-sacrifice as a facade to create guilt for their child so that they can see themselves as a good person and get the child to conform to what they want them to do when you look at a situation and the people involved in objectively without taking sides or being emotionally attached you are able to see through people's actions and behaviors then it is easy to be firm on your stance and not get swayed by what everyone else is thinking or doing by seeing how a person may be putting up a facade or pretending to be something they're not you have the advantage of point number three discover the hidden intention in season one Jo was able to spot the facade that peach was putting up by being Beck's best friend and always being there for her unlike Beck who is oblivious to the real intentions of people around her Jo could immediately sense that there was something off about their friendship he then discovered the hidden intention that peach had for being so close to Beck which was a secret sexual obsession peach was hiding towards back and Jo was able to read through Benjy for T and basically every single person he meets by first observing their behavior objectively looking for the facade they're putting up and then by discovering the hidden intention for why they have the facade up in the first place what could they potentially be hiding behind this facade why are they hiding what they're hiding what is their true motive or intention by identifying a person's facades and hidden intentions you immediately outsmart any kind of manipulation you know what the other person is really trying to do because you understand that what they're presenting is simply a tactic to get what they really want for example like I mentioned previously bullies tend to use intimidation to hide their vulnerabilities so as to get what they want which is superiority in the social group by seeing what a person is trying to get by exhibiting a particular behavior and also what they're trying to hide you will not be so easily influenced by their manipulation and can take actions from a more informed perspective in any kind of social situation being able to separate what people say or do with what they really mean is the secret sauce to knowing what to do next this brings us to point number four the subtle art of mirroring and giving complements watching the two seasons of you make me realize how much of a chameleon Joey's he adapts himself to everyone he meets almost instantly and while that may be an extremely exhausting way to live it is a useful tool when dealing with certain types of situations Joe please along with what other people believe and most especially what they want to believe about themselves he does this by mirroring their interest in a particular subject and casually complimenting them observe carefully how he does this with a stranger he met at a bar see how he shows that he's interested in what the other person is interested in hey Freddy you used to be watches right oh yeah and how he mirrors this guy's lingo I saw you with their clothes a couple years back Eugene said you were a must see he's but the tip of a second hand iceberg and Eugene is the best teacher I've ever had and how he casually gives same a compliment you antennae used to get a team ready mirroring is something we all do unconsciously when we like someone or start to get comfortable in their presence and there's a level of openness involved we start to copy their facial expressions body language and even speech intonation examples include yawning when you see someone else yawn or laughing when someone else laughs or even sitting in the same way that the other person is sitting it's basically a sign of trust and deliberately mirroring the other person that makes them more likely to open up to you I will have to caution you in advance though mirroring is a great way to build rapport just make sure you're building this rapport for the right reasons or it may backfire being a social chameleon like Joe is not how you want to live your life if you constantly adapt yourself to your surroundings and authentically you won't get into really relationships because people will only like you for the facade and you put up like I said Joe is a flawed character whose entire personality is built upon strategy and manipulation use this tool of mere and giving compliments with a discernment because otherwise you'll trick people into thinking you're something that you're not and just like Joe you can only put up a facade for so long before it eventually starts to crack under pressure and your true intentions will get revealed however if you are dealing with a difficult situation or with difficult people then mirroring is a great way to get the conversation to open up and to break the ice number five be unfazed by intimidation Joe does not like bullies or people who take advantage of other people in season one he stood up to his neighbors abusive stepfather and in season two he protected Ali from a sexual predator now whether or not he does this to make up for the guilt he feels is another story but watch for how he uses his body language to match up to the aggression he was presented with by his neighbor's stepfather because everything even good this few guys in there are scary people in the world there that's why it's important to be safe when people deliberately try to intimidate you it's usually because they perceive you to be a threat to them in some way obviously when they see you fall prey to their intimidation by second-guessing yourself wavering in any way or even by being emotionally charged or reactive they feed off of that weakness and use it to gain power over you instead meet their attempt to provoke you by being solid in your posture engaged use words if necessary but don't get emotionally reactive by exploding an anger or cowering in fear as this only fuels their superiority and Joe understands this very well because he does not get reactive in the face of confrontation instead he is solid in his stance and shows people with his energy that he is not one to be messed with and you really want to show that energy by the way you stand and look at someone who is trying to intimidate you you might think that aggressive people have no weaknesses and nothing to fear but do not be mistaken like I previously mentioned people use all types of facades to hide a vulnerability and aggression as one of them you don't have to know what exactly the person is vulnerable about but knowing that they're hiding something behind their aggression is enough for you to claim your power and be definite 'iv in your stance in any given situation so let's recap here are the five psychological hacks that we covered in this video use these hacks when you are presented with a very tricky social situation or when you encounter difficult people now comment below have you watched you what's your biggest takeaway from this episode also remember to like this video and subscribe for more deep dives into the human psyche this is psychology detective and I will see you in the next episode

Channel: Psychology Detective

Views: 368,371

Keywords: you netflix, you, you season 2, you season 1, Joe Goldberg, You Joe, How to Read People, penn badgely, Elizabeth Lail, Victoria Pedretti, manipulation, psychology, you netflix trailer, netflix you love, netflix you review, psychological, Netflix Original, joe goldberg charisma, joe goldberg monologue, joe goldberg edit, peach salinger, personality, psychopathy, Psychopath, psycho, joe and beck you, joe goldberg you, you final scene, joe and love, you season 2 reaction

Id: btHjK7n779o

Length: 13min 21sec (801 seconds)

Published: Thu May 07 2020