How To Read People For Fun and Profit Pt1

I want to say thank you so much for coming out on 8 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday after the pajama party that shows passion enthusiasm and I'm grateful to all of you for that if the scope of what we're gonna cover today how many of you for that for how many of you by the way is this your first time in the Madden ok I'm sorry in advance so I should probably get my disclaimers out of the way give you a little brief intro my name is David Schneider I'm a licensed acupuncturist and master trainer in neuro linguistic programming I have a practice in Solana Beach California what are you doing I pants style dude come on in don't be bashful alright then thank you for screwing up my state you bastard anyway my name is David Schneider I'm a licensed acupuncturist and a master's degree in oriental medicine I'm licensed in the state of California I have a clinic I've had a clinic in Solana Beach California for over ten years actually yeah over 13 years now 14 and where we specialize specifically in treating physiological illness that has its roots repressed emotion okay I'm a certified trainer and licensed practitioner in neural linguistic programming under one of the founders dr. Richard Bandler if anybody cares last year this year and last year before that I was what are the number two NLP trainer in the world by global gurus calm thanks to you you guys all did that that's all on you so thank you and I blame you for that for all the hate I'm getting from the other trainers in any way first thing if you're gonna be if you're gonna put yourself out there remember one thing no matter how perfect you try to be somebody somewhere is not going to like it somebody somewhere will be offended just because you breathe the same air ignore them my teacher Lillian Bridges who taught me all the face reading stuff we're about to cover towards the second half of today's training stand in the light of your truth haters gonna hate if you know you're doing what's right keep going I tell my students and personality transformation there are four default states that we need to cultivate in ourselves one of the sense of playfulness we got to be playful the more playful you are the more powerful you become and man is not David making that up that's what the science says sciences and and research from such intense fields as hostage negotiation where if the if the negotiator himself goes into that interaction in a playful up-up-up energy he is 40% more intelligent 40% more resourceful and 40% more successful in talking down the bad guys if it works there it works here if you're dealing with traumas of any kind the more plate not not flippant but playful and and light-hearted you're gonna be more successful if you're doing this for social applications whether you're whether it's been and when they're talking about dating and attraction whether you're talking about negotiation whether you're talking about like I teach a lot of personal injury attorneys they win the cases during jury selection before the jury has even met the defendant because they understand first playfulness and how to connect with people verbally and non-verbally and today is really all about the nonverbal side of things it's about learning how to read the body learning how to understand how the body is communicating with us we're gonna do that from a bunch of different angles today and hopefully as we as we come towards the close you'll see how it all starts to fit together I've written over or author I should say over 15 different products on conversational and hypnotic persuasion I consider myself a specialist in human influence technologies codename and when you get into this it gets deep fast we're talking some serious in a playful way all right most of the systems that I originally developed I developed them for me because I had areas of my life that I wanted to fix areas in my life that I was just getting trounced I was everything bullying had been bullied well I - I wanted to be part of the cool kids and just couldn't make it in okay you're looking at the poster child right here I was bigger around and I was tall I wore glasses right I don't think I could spell football but I was and I was blessed with a very very oversensitive nervous system which means you guys know what empathy is like on overdrive right you walk in somebody has a cold you got it even though you're across the room you didn't breathe on you just feel their symptoms that's me okay I don't feel ever have that no way that empathy just won't shut off there's a there's a real quick and easy way to gain control over you have to decide enta fie from it the fastest way to dis identify from it is to ask your neurology a question is this mine the moment you asked that question you dissociate or you dis identify from the process and that was a cell phones off it's okay well yell at you later that's the one thing that the Soviet sports psychologist discovered when they were developing their autogenic trainings for their athletes what they discovered independently of NLP and Western neurosciences and things like that what they discovered was that you are not one personality you're many different personas or they called them Co personalities some of them correspond the Jungian archetypes that you guys may be familiar with others however do not they are you could have you can have a mother archetype and a warrior archetype and a father archetype and a lover archetype those we all understand those we can also have a Lying archetype an angry archetype a gluttonous archetype a lazy archetype and what these these researchers discovered was each of these Co personalities has a level a range of dominance in your behavior based on the amount of energy given to it by the subconscious mind and they develop very cool techniques to teach their athletes elite soldiers and artists how to go in to that part of their neurology that modulates and regulates the amount of energy going to each of those parts and reallocate it pull the plug on one plug it into another ok anybody here old enough remember when the Soviets swept the Olympics 70 gold medals that's what they were doing on the autogenic side you were there all right now you guys know that the Soviet Union you guys were miss thing called the Cold War little thing it'll hit that a lot of people thought it was about guns weapons other people thought it was about economics people some people thought it was about weapons some people thought it was about ideology some people thought it was about economics what it was really about Courtney Scott Shannon who was the first American to ever attain the Russian master of sport it was about who had the superior citizen who had the citizen that was the most intelligent the most had the most potential izing their most potential was able to run further think faster do that was what it was about they had a whole division in their militant military called the Department of Maxim ology whose sole purpose was to research and develop ways to optimize human performance so when I teach you about these Co personalities and these other things this isn't just made up what you can research this stuff right if you can find the book it's still floating rather Called red gold for those you who are hypnotists grab it if you're doing any kind of sports and enhancement work so no yeah red gold by grigory right board red gold okay I'm gonna throw a lot of books at you by the way so you better be ready grigory right board Rai P ort in well we don't either we usually do it during our identity by design trainings or or real progression trainings we usually throw that in as an extra technique but I just wanted to put that out there because as we get into the Chinese medical side of things the Chinese for 5,000 years also believed that we weren't one personality we weren't one consciousness we were actually a conglomeration a cooperation so to speak of different intelligences that all communicate together and when we have dis harmonies between those energies or those intelligences that's where we start to have problems with our health or what their mind or whatever contrast and again going back to another thing i mean penny peeler ever heard of em braining or em brain technology it's not well known it's a it's a derivative of NLP and what the the founders of M brain did was they looked at all the most cutting-edge neuroscience and they looked at all the old with all the old mystery schools and and cultures said about multiple brains and body locations and things like that they came up with some mesh mesh get rid this what do you think so what they found out was we hope you guys know look you've heard me talk about the reptile brain you know right well interestingly we have three brains besides the one the one in our head you have the head brain that we understand you have the heart brain you guys who have anybody who studied heart math and those technologies understand that you have the heart itself has its own internal nervous system it sends more information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart then you have we all know about the gut brain now here's what's interesting here's what's interesting within the head brain you have the paleo cortex which is your reptile brain put controls primal Drive survival stuff around that is this what we call the limbic system or the mammalian brain it's your emotional brain it's the part of you that gives you feelings and emotions and makes you feel lovey-dovey and elected stuff so think about that as being like a heart oriented or value-based area then around that you have what we call the neocortex the new layer that's the part of you that thinks abstractly that thinks and creates right you follow me by the way this is all taking us to what we call what I call the holographic nervous system the heart the M braining researchers discovered is the brain that relates to our values our connections socially and interpersonally so when you when you have a value that's being massaged a value of its being fulfilled you feel it in your heart it's analogous to your mammalian brain your gut brain goes to your sense of identity and survival anytime something is threatening your survival or is a survival level issue an identified attack on your identity the gut brain processes that information that's why a lot of people have it'll bowel Crohn's they stuff that anger down in there the Chinese saw this now this is done this is from the western side of things the Chinese so Holograms everywhere they saw it everywhere and that's one of the things that want you to get at is everything that we are is a projection of vibrational information it's a it's an its holographic in nature and you can infinitely divide that hologram and still actually map out the whole that's what's cool about this we are constantly expressing this processing of holographic information on multiple levels simultaneously it's not static its dynamic so your brain for example processes emotional warmth in the same location it processes physical warmth to the degree that if my driving the camera people crazy to the degree that if I give you a warm drink to hold you will actually feel more warmly towards me emotionally than if I gave you a cold drink to hold we are conscious yes yes in my killer influence class which is all about the art and science of covert hypnosis and covert influence we go beyond the understanding of just how language affects our mind but how it we can engineer environments how we can engineer context how we can cold-read people and get them to send psychologically position ourselves just by where we stand next to them we can cause them to think of us and view us more positively or less positive this is all these are all aspects of the information that's holographically being processed by your neurology alright so even though today is about body language and nonverbal influence I want you to understand that these are all aspects they're expressions of data that's coming in from what we would consider the non-local universe and refracted through the prism of our neurology and expressed on multiple channels simultaneously much of this again the vast majority of this is unconscious it happens all the time automatically we're going to talk about certain things that the mode only of the most recent research has uncovered things called honest signals there are four nonverbal channels of communication that actually influence group decisions and once you know what to look for and you know how to measure it you can predict with 80% accuracy what decision a group or an individual will make after 30 seconds of watching the clip with the sound off that's how reliable these signals are in fact how many people have ever heard of a young lady named Vanessa van Edwards okay one Vanessa vinet where she runs a YouTube channel called science of people if you're interested in hacking social interactions and things like that highly recommend her work she's very funny very uh very she just spends her time hacking these different things how many people here want to make a living doing it no sister in a therapy okay do you know the fastest way to build your business is through public speaking fastest way to build your business with minimal investment is public speaking okay how many people here know what a TED talk is said where's he going with this you're gonna pitch me on a class not yeah Vanessa wanted to know why do some TED Talks really take off and some don't so she had her team start researching the nonverbal cues of Ted talkers and what they found was the top the highest level Ted talkers had over 400 hand gestures in a 20 minute talk all the top level the highest views all the most dynamic speakers all the ones that got the highest ratings lots and lots and lots of gestures TED talk is a how much how do you explain a TED talk it's a free informational lecture that somebody does on some of the most cutting-edge research or hacks into social or technological things you just take Ted once we're rated lower 200 less so somewhere between 267 and 400 something that was where the midline was but it was look you you notice I do a lot of gesturing that's an honest signal honest signals are nonverbal what I'm talking about is the honest signal of activity level activity is the amount of engagement and physical movement in a conversation or a speech right once upon a time Scott salmon was my cameraman for one of my courses and he also had the job of editing my first CBI course and you may notice I tend to pace a lot when I talk right he goes he goes to me after spending six hours editing me goes you are more dynamic with the sound off than I am with the sound on I'm I have two cameras and they couldn't track me because I'm I think I process as I move I'm very kinesthetic that way if you want to be more dynamic you want to be more engaging use a lot of gestures but don't break your body line like that maybe to go twos goes too far out from the body line you start to look faster now how is this useful outside of a TED talk how many people ever hear of speed-dating okay here's how speed-dating works from an honest signals perspective when a man and a woman are talking if the activity level of the female is high they exchange information how do percent of time more engaged she is the more gesturing within that movement forward backward oh my god that's amazing that kind of stuff the more they're going to exchange information had nothing been didn't matter okay so when we talk about this this concept of activity level that's what I mean how engaged are they in what you're saying what you're doing right you can play with this out there in the casino you can watch who's into who by the animation of their gestures right that's honest that's one honest signal another one that you're gonna see a lot of we're going to talk about a lot via that the honest signal researchers used a different word than I use mimicry mimicry is a fundamental human phenomenon mimicry is so reliable in such a powerful indicator of nonverbal intention and behaviors that the US military has trained their combat hundred members to look for that how many people ever heard of the combat hunter program if most of you have it it's pretty it's kept pretty hush-hush the combat hunter program there's a book out there if you want to read about it it's called left of bang left of bang Lenna of bang BMG yeah everything we're doing comes from the field well not everything but a vast majority that started in the field of kinesics kinesics is the study of body language okay left of bang means you got there before the bomb went off right because right a bang it's still too late right kinesics is used in police and law enforcement applications it's used in psychology obviously in profiling obviously it's also used in the military to hunt for terrorists and insurgents there is a primary fundamental difference though between military applications and law enforcement applications law enforcement applications are reactive in other words they can't do something until somebody's already done something bad military is about being proactive it's about finding these people or finding they're stopping the situation before it has a chance to start both sides use mimicry and they have found that this mimicry is the single biggest indicator of how you can tell who's in charge who's buying in to a speech or a monologue or or whatever the more mimicry you see the more entrained they are I'm going to use that word a lot entrainment mimicry is an aspect of the vibrational universe not just a psychological one okay how many people ever seen the metronome videos on YouTube you see the metronome videos on YouTube okay go to YouTube when you get a chance type in metronome and Trainmen metronome and training you'll find a whole bunch of videos pick one that has 30 or 40 metronome sitting on a table and watch it it's 40 different Matt 37 different mention those 40 different metronomes there's a bunch of different idioms a lot of people done this they're all moving at different rates and speeds guy sets them all off they're all moving at different rates and speeds within two and a half minutes every single bit metronome is doing this every single one ladies you know this when you went to college and you've had it you shared dorms with other ladies right every 28 days magic happens right you've ever seen a room full of clocks with pendulums after a short amount of time all the pendulums start moving I put you guys in a room long enough you'll start moving together you'll start breathing together your heartbeats will synchronize why because you're made of molecules molecules move you also have this thing called the human heart which is a single most powerful rhythmic source in the body all rhythmic sources seek entrainment when I start to help too if I say the magic words let me tell you a story do you know what happens your brain waves start to automatically synchronize with mine that's mimicry but it's an expression of entrainment by the way you want that process to happen because the more mimicry you can induce the more you get what you want when you get what you want so much so that when they taught people to mimic their during interviews if they were pitching for venture capital then a venture capitalist a deal or a job interview or pay for a pay raise the people who mimicked their interviewers got a an average of 30% more raises just from mimicking nothing else okay so when you go out when you go out and watch people in their natural habitat watch who's mimicking who you'll be able to figure out really really quick who's the leader of the group who's the follower when you interact with people the more of their of their gestures you can copy that you can mimic congruently the more powerfully they'll fall into a rapport the more open they'll be to your suggestions whether they're out in the hallway or in a therapeutic environment a dating context okay people do this all the time anyway but you guys are hackers so to speak you're here to learn how to utilize this instead of just letting it happen by random and by default yesterday you won't have it yet but if you stay there long enough you will that's the thing in the interstate we have this thing called mirror neurons guys remember this mirror neurons are the physiological foundation of empathic communication their job is to take whatever comes in through the five senses of the proprioceptive nervous system and activate the exact same parts of your body that would be required for you to do what your observe it okay some of you I talked to you about this the other day how many were in my lie detection class okay good so you heard me talk about the the monkey right or was that speed attraction today okay so those of you who weren't didn't come to speed traction shame I hear all right so the way they discovered this and it's all relevant because we're going to in our advanced persuasion classes we use our body as the most powerful influence tool we have when we get into postures you'll understand that real quick but when they just the way they discovered mirror neurons is there was some research as I believe it was Italy the book I had was written by an Italian and they had this monkey strapped to EEG and they had an a lab assistant and they were doing some experiments and during a break between sessions the lab assistant was over here peeling a banana and the monkey sitting in a chair and he's watching the lab assistant peeled a banana right and as he's watching the lab assistant peel a banana the AG's going nuts and as they looked at what was going on all the areas of the chimps neurology or brain that would have been active if he were peeling the banana were firing now that is HUGE in terms of being able to influence other human beings okay because whatever you see whatever you you're paying attention to your brain is going to copy in order for you to understand it which means a lot of the things I'm going to share with you are already hardwired into you you just have to bring them into conscious awareness okay so that kind of lays a foundation I hope is that interesting or not this is good yes yes okay all right now let's start with the spectrum of human influence the problem we have when we're studying and trying to calibrate body language is that it's a massive massive field of information and depending on what your training is or lack thereof it's very easy to get lost in the sauce right if this is the scope of everything we could cover we have time for this so I'm here's my commitment to you I will take you as far as I can in the time we have and I will show you where to go for more if that's what you want to do is that okay excellent we're gonna go fast we're gonna go hard because I want I just my job is to just cram as much stuff into you is humanly possible however last class I forgot to do this so I'm gonna do it right now you'll notice on your car on your chairs where to post cards okay if you take a moment to look at those postcards that is my gift to you just for coming out on a Sunday morning because though I don't think the last class got it okay I'm everybody who comes to my NLP power website get 60 off any single purchase that's my way of saying thank you for coming out and there's two cards one is for you to take with you the other is for a second gift that I have but only one of you can have it teas so you guys know that how many of these do I have there's only one left okay so I only can do one then so you may have noticed that each day during the break the the staff here at HDL have been offering off one of these have you seen this okay what this is is my mando supremo I wanted all bonus package what that is I do things in packages because usually people have a set of goals that they want to achieve and they don't really know how to navigate or one product doesn't get it all they want a whole bunch of stuff anyway I like training packages a lot what this is good for this is that worth seven thousand four hundred seventy three dollars okay it includes any two live trainings on my 2018-2019 calendar any two full-length video training courses priced at fourteen hundred ninety seven dollars each and any five smaller digital videos priced $97 or less if you totaled all that stuff up it would come to about seven thousand four hundred and seventy three dollars somebody tonight is going to leave with this because we're gonna do a drawing for it okay so what I need you to do is take the second card if you want to participate in the drawing if you don't that's fine too two different ones whatever one you want is fine digs are both different there's a code on each one if you just use that code when you check out on NLP power it'll automatically apply a sixty percent discount so use it well because it's only limit one per customer huh you don't use it now good night use it now no no you can use when you go yeah you have until December 31st to use it yeah if you want easy tonight I'm not gonna complain no you have to let December 31st to use it and it goes away so anyway on the second part write your name email and a good phone number and pass it to the center of the room Tina's gonna come around and collect those and then remind me about 10 minutes before we're about to bail I will do the drawing and and everything else okay I just wanted to give because I forgot last time and and I don't want you guys to miss out we having fun so far this means yes this means no test this means I know the answer means I don't means oh I call me it's the same stuff they're just printed differently yeah goodness Edwards Evie wk RDS [Music] [Music] to influence last year I did a 5 bit killer influence training on the UK we opened every every training every segment with hooked on a feeling but but when I got home it played my head for two solid weeks I couldn't get it out but men they were primed your Frank all right yes my dear [Music] well if it's a set it's probably more than one recourse like so CPI you - no selling secrets or something like that some of them are weightless yes yes [Music] yeah yeah we haven't downloaded the manual that will send you if you buy the course if you buy the course you have to ask us for it right so if you ask first we will send you the manual on if you put it out good luck it's like two hundred something sages alright good you're gonna be good okay so let's start with again what I'm gonna teach you now what I'm going to teach you now is my personal approach to figuring out human beings and I like to do things from as far away as humanly possible first because if I can see it I can prepare for it right so the stuff we're gonna start with is stuff you can do from across the room right but it's stuff that's very very powerful and if you get the big picture you'll be able to extrapolate from what you're seeing the meanings of other behaviors because again there's thousands of individual body language cues that we could talk about and they're subjective there's very few things that are objective so when we talk about body language if you want like more talking about deception detection specifically you have to keep two primary principles in line in mind one is called baseline you've got to know what the normal is for that person or a group of people you're observing and then calculate deviance you need to calculate deviance from the baseline if you don't have a baseline you have no calculation for deviance you have no way to figure out okay this is really different from their normal way of acting does that make sense okay understand mimicry is going to be really important there's three or four fundamental areas that we want to look at first remember that everything human beings do is in response to a feeling in their bodies a feeling they want more of or a feeling they want a whole lot less of it is natural for human beings to move towards pleasure and away from and pain remember that first because everything starts there when people move from stranger to intimacy when they're moving from moving away from each other to creating a baby and I call this the the romantic sexual romantic archetype it's a it's to me in my world that romantic continuum of body language is the archetype for all other social interactions whether it's a business interaction interview a negotiation everything is about two individuals coming together to do something does that make sense so we're gonna talk about the death of relationship archetype well I the social archetype if we want to jump down we can do we call the mating dance which is the seven discrete stages people go through when they're moving from stranger to making babies right but this is the this is what I do whenever I'm whenever I'm out there in the field whether I'm doing work undercover by contract or whether I'm teaching or just being my normal self so I call this the report continuum I need up two volunteers can I have one can I pick on you and you come here all right so I need you to face this wall here all the way over here I need you to face this wall all the way over here now this is called anti rapport these are two people have no connection moving away from each other these are the outliers the outliers of the rapport continuum now as people move from antipathy to intimacy certain key factors are going to continue to change in a predictable way the first thing that will happen is this is dorsal orientation this is ventral I'm sorry this is ventral orientation dorsal orientation ventral orientation the centerline of the body if you were to gene chips we talked about Chinese medicine the dorsal orientation would be the governing vessel the ventral orientation will be the conception vessel addict aptly named by the way because what happens is as people start to synchronize the first thing that happens is venture orientation shifts now they're neutral before they were anti now they're neutral then they start to then proximity will shift I might have moved her a little too far away I will probably actually I'm going to use this stool right this represents conception anyway [Music] ventral orientation will shift see she did it automatically you see what happened intuitively preconscious as they continue to interact eventual orientation will continue to shift proximity will continue to decrease until finally conception vessel to conception vessel you can guess the rest right now that may seem somewhat artificial until you see it this way sit on the please never see this what do you see that exactly now here's the cool part you can always tell who's more invested in the relationship by their ventral orientation if they're this way they're neutral they're this way they're out or trying to get out if they're this way they're all in as you look at this relationship who's more invested exactly that is a classic archetype for a pickup can you reverse that archetype yes will she take on those behaviors yeah if you reverse everything is he'll take on still take on the behaviors now there's a seven there are seven discreet body language stages when people go from approach to intimacy if you guys want to talk about it we will but that's not really where I was tenth ending you want to go you want to talk that's true I'll tell you what I will put it all put attack in that and then if we have time we'll come back to us but this is again one of the things that you have to go out into barter bars tonight or casinos where couples are and you can watch this happen one of my goodies to be a round of applause why thank you one of my students owned a wine bar and I was talking about this phenomenon which we didn't come back up here damn it okay so the first Tennessee the first stage in the mating dance is called the acknowledgement stage diagnostic he's walking up she's there she just gonna turn a little bit she's acknowledged no she's in that moment there's not a big degree of shift up here it's just enough to acknowledge somebody has entered her private or social zone right you guys understand public zone so personal zone primary social and yeah you get it he's on the experience of that right if she if as they're approaching he flashes her and I brought her she flashes back it's actually what we call an honest signal or a key response the key stimuli that signals friend or fault we call it the unconscious hello all mammals do it in Jersey it looks like this hey are you doing I walk down the hall you ladies give me I brought flashes all that you're always flashing me I think it's I blame you too all right as these two approached she is going to acknowledge his presence it's at this moment there's gonna be that eyebrow flash it's just gonna be a real quick flash that if they return it's on now I just felt it heat up in here right now he has an invitation to it's okay to now they're gonna begin the interaction all right I don't know what's the second stage Seth I've been to 12 trainings you don't remember in toilet 30 times I know after the acknowledgement stage that's the pivot stage now she's going to be s now now they're interacting right this is where your three magic questions protocol would start to come in right you see when I teach attraction stuff I have to either focus on the linguistic side which is the conversational stuff or I have to focus on the body language these are happening simultaneously so while you're going through three magic prep questions protocol the orientations are going to start to change right so this is the pivot stage she's actually a lot more invested now that she was a minute ago right just invest just a little bit here Tonya Jets girls take a shower right but there is a little bit more of a pivot stage right when this happens now is they interact they're gonna go to the next stage which is called the reaching stage I'm gonna need a table for this just a short table or something you know on table just pretend if there's a table a table here okay what what happens now is as she as the conversation progresses if she has a drink or napkin or a purse or something like that what will happen is she will subtly as she's talking to you will move it she will slowly move her objects closer to him yeah you'll see it she'll take a drink and when she change to put it closer that's the reaching stage okay this is what's funny is because I had a going back to my student she ran over when I first started teaching this she had a wine bar she was oh my god you are so right I watch people come in the beginning of the night they're sitting on opposite sides of the booth when they leave their wine glasses are right next to each other so what will happen proximity and orientation will continue to change so the reaching stage is where she's reaching for something nonchalantly when she puts it down or she moves it or she shifts herself she's gonna move something slightly closer now here's the thing through this through 80% of this process the woman's leading the dance believe it or not the woman's leading the dance guy only has to pay attention at two key moments every other time all he has to do is what she does but they screw it up anyway they screw it up anyway because they're - they're first of all they're unobservant because they don't realize this is a thing and they're too anxious they're too in a hurry gentlemen if you want to turn your ladies on faster go slower it's counterintuitive I wrote a book on sexual technique back in the 2005 it was called secret orgasm tips it was about how to be any woman's ideal lover the first time you're together by actually figuring out what her favorite what her ideal romantic fantasy is or her a romantic lover or manic hero template right I got calls in the middle of night saying thank God you saved my marriage right every person every human being in here and women are people in case you were taught differently I have a checklist for what constitutes the right way for you to do everything right and remember I said people are moving through the world pinging trying to find themselves over and over again that's all we're doing a woman guys do this too but we're just simpler we're just not as observant we're not as complex you know you can walk up to a like a woman can walk up to a guy and go wonder what she meant by that [Laughter] we're not the most observant in the world women have a very very highly developed social radar right if we talk about that we won't get to the other stuff so I'm trying to I'm teasing you a little bit because I have to I don't want to I want to give you the whole thing but they only gave me two hours it's time and the last time they give me like four right so we're at the reaching stage now this is where stuffs really kind of starts to fly when you move from here now you're getting into what we call the touching stage now proximity has closed a little bit this is where woman starts to test at some point during the interaction she will find an excuse to touch him they may be on the leg it may be on the shoulder she may do it as she gets up to go to show she might say something to the effect of I'll be right back I have to use the ladies room right she may go he may crack a joke that's so funny are you oh you're just teasing all right listen guys [Applause] it's not an accident it's not an accident repeat after me it's not an accident it's a test to see if you're safe to see what you'll do next this is where we screw it up run away no it's not that because what happens is she wants to see what you're gonna do when she touches you this is the first sign of actual attraction you can still blow at big time right but when she actually makes physical contact in someone she may just brush by you as she gets something out of her purse it's not an accident here's the thing you guys need to understand when a woman does not like you you could be standing next to her and feel like you're in an empty room women do not pay attention to people they do not like or have an interest in they remove you either figuratively or literally from the environment if a woman's busting your balls nope no pun intended it's not because she doesn't like you it's because she's testing you she's seen if you'll man up a runaway what that means is anybody ever watch a show called moonlighting what was the what was the foreplay in moonlighting you guys remember the bickering it's on when a woman's giving you she wants to play she wants to see if you'll man up a runaway look at some guys don't don't please don't believe me right because we're simple not stupid simple we are linear thinkers we are cause-and-effect thinkers we're 5 years old on the playground little Johnny's over here talking to his friends little Susie's over here talking to her friend Susie likes Johnny a lot a lot a lot but when you're 7 years old on the playground boys are supposed to be icky true not true right why is there a key but Susie wants Johnny's attention so the nonlinear part kicks in Bing Johnny's sitting with his back to Susy because he's with his friends Susie goes daddy goes yeah Susie goes boys are icky Johnny's like he missed it he missed the fact that Susie walked a hundred yards across the crowded parking lot Oh playground that's 37 boys playing kickball basketball and other assorted games to kick Johnny in the shin and tell Johnny boys are icky and now you have the genesis of an average frustrated chumps look for a woman who's interested he's gonna remember this every guy in this room has had an analogue to what I've just described where a woman a girl she may or may not have liked gave him a shot across the bow and scored the shin is the case maybe that's what I call it the shot across the bow when you go into rap with somebody and they give you a flippy answer play a run away which is it gonna be flip it around it's on may not go anywhere but it means she's interested the only variable whose degree no no that's before anywhere you got there it's doubly true here she starts playing right she's looking for banter let's see blows smoke in your face that's usually a negative sign so that was a little sidebar we're only at stage three four there's seven Saints four is the touching stage right at some point they're gonna touch what should he do not go over the booth he touches her exactly the same place exactly the same way in a timely manner so she goes oh you're so funny good you're funny too this is not a petting zoo stop it I charge for that right all right banter wittiness sexual chemistry you've got to have a sexual chemistry you've got to have a vibe to it you've got to be a playful energy to this remember any time you see a woman's dating profile remember one thing she's lying to you she's in read her profile that says I want to manage 50 loyal breathe brave obedient courteous kind cheerful thrifty you said it as a boy scouts of america homepage right must love dogs it's a lot not the dog park none of that matters until she's having fun with you cindy lauper said it best girls just want to have that's right it doesn't matter how hot your profile is doesn't matter how much money you make except a song with your value systems that way by and large none of the things about what she wants in a guy really matter until she knows she's having fun with you then they matter that's why playful is so important you gotta have fun you gotta be playful they got to have a good time they have to have a good feeling when they're with you okay so touching great from there we're gonna go into what we call a space yeah so the next case now this is where the man actually has to man up this is stepfather this is called the snuggle space I did not make up this term I take credit for the synthesis not the source but you've all seen parodies of kids at the movie theater you know 1950s drive-in or they're sitting in the back row of the movie theater and you know Johnny wants to put his arm around Susie it's years later now right Johnny wants to put his arms around Susie he goes it seems like it's about time in every bar situation in every in every situation where you can approach and interact with somebody at a key stage of the of the relationship the man has to create a space and one up to see she moved right into it there didn't write that there's then there's a reason for that by the way which I'll tell you in a minute it's kind of its kind of ninja I play matchmaker right now I read faces anyway can't turn the off at some point it keeps this in the seduction world too they use different terminologies they say you want to close her off from the rest of the bar that's what's happening here at some point she's he has to give her the opportunity to say okay are you with me or not right and when so all he does is he if there's a back of his chair he may just put it there and just and he'll move closer she moves into that space they can proceed to next to stage five and six four six and seven right if they don't back up start again all right the Snuggle stage you see this in the wild to where you ever seen those National Geographic documentaries where they're showing this bird who builds this big elaborate nest right so he's in there he's going okay the best chick pad ever Jacuzzi here king-size waterbed big-ass kitchen because I know she's like she loves to cook but I'm probably a home a food anyway so it doesn't matter okay again when it's done he goes come on in ladies check it out all right Lady Bird comes and goes ah not too bad new carpet kisses a little fall you're cooking right if she likes it she moves in one plus one equals three next spring babies roll out same process here he creates that space that is the one thing aside from mirroring the gesture mirroring her movements and paying attention to the cues that is one of the single most important things you as the man must do what most guys do is the moment the woman touches they go for the boob they they go for the kiss they go for the next level of intimacy you go too fast slow down because what she's looking for is her when she touches in a certain way she wants you to touch her that way the whole premise behind secret orgasm tips was to do to a woman what she does to you exactly the way she does it because she's projecting outward everything that is right in her world the way the best way to touch somebody the exact things to say the perfect kiss and the perfect everything else if all you do is mirror look at the ladies guys they like [Music] it's projection remember holographic projection what we do in the inside we project outside every human being on the planet is moving through the world looking for themselves and to the degree that you match it connection everything flows to the degree that you mismatch it you go back down the attraction or arousal scale that make sense so we're a stage set of five next it gets really this is now we're into the attraction front you can still screw this up it's a lot harder though and we couldn't call minor synchronization now what you'll see is even more intense mimicry he moves a drink she'll move her drink she takes a drink he'll take a drink right and they'll start to get really close til there till we finally at one point we have sorry guys full-body eventual orientation Stage six to seven is yeah you can give you a big hug that's okay thank you guys so you move from antipathy to intimacy that's the mating dance you can go to any civilized country where people congregate and see this you can probably go to some uncivilized countries but you might not come back right when people go through the process of stranger to intimacy proximity and ventral orientation mimicry increases and anta amplifies understand that yes [Music] the trap house attractive sewing stick there has to be a balance you have to be similar enough to be comfortable but different enough to be exciting right that's why it's interesting one of the biggest this is weird but it's true but one of the biggest factors in people who who are compatible is their credit rating if they have similar credit ratings are usually pretty compatible it's weird weird stuff but I'm full of these useless trees yes I believe it is to a certain agreement I believe it is I believe this will happen in business negotiations - right now the other body the other big piece of body language that you want to pay attention to which it was there we didn't point it out too much you have ventral orientation proximity body leads so if you're looking at me from the side when we are when we go to a movie and we're really enjoying the movie what do we do we didn't towards pleasure right this is neutral we don't like it what do we do we back up we find some way to move our upper bodies so those three big pieces distance this is an T this is mega and and then venture orientation I don't know how to draw that and then body leads right these are the big pieces you can you can monitor conversations from across the room by proximity ventral orientation forward and backward leaning and then finally mimicry you can tell who's following you sir majors yep this is when they're kissing hugging it's time to venue change six sixes minor synchronization where there they may be touching hugging kissing but it's not complete it's in a movement now major synchronization is there their arm in arm and they're just they're ready to find another place yes some point does leading from pacing to bleeding concept change at the at the snuggle space stage right yes it lubricates it what is what is alcohol removes inhibition right good lowering position so it can do that provided you're not give you actually doing the things that attract that person in the first place I as the infamous Bill Cosby used to say alcohol just makes you more of what you already are and of course dose it what if you're an right who knew bill said those words well you want to be as congruent possible right if you you know one of them we talked about a deception detection on on Friday we talked about directions of feet are pointing direct the the feet are the body language area we pay the least conscious attention to therefore it usually gives us the most honest information when you look at a group you'll find that in the group whoever the report leaders at least one foot will be pointing towards them if not both okay so you can always tell who the who the report leader is in a group by where their feet are pointing but all these other things go into into a account to financial orientation proximity forward and backward leaning mimicry mimicry is a big one right if you if the if someone takes drinking five minutes seconds later three other people take a drink you know who the report leader is if you want to influence a group the hard way is to try to individual to influence the group the best way to do it is to influence the rapport leader do we need a break a bathroom break let's take that 10-minute bathroom break come on back jump anymore stuff you guys have fun

Channel: Dr. David Snyder

Views: 41,420

Rating: 4.860465 out of 5

Keywords: how to read people, seduction, approaching, charisma on command, psychological tricks, lie detection, how to catch a liar, attraction, success, flirting, self help, self improvement, self hypnosis, nlp, face reading, hypnosis, neuro linguistic programming street hypnosis cold approach, networking, mind control skills, mind power, Bandler, Robbins, Law of Attraction, Dating, psychology, Interview, street hypnosis, Body Language

Id: QTeVe64rTbI

Length: 65min 0sec (3900 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 23 2019