How to Overcome Your Fear of Speaking English

hey guys thanks for joining us for another video and if you're new here and you like our content don't forget to click that subscribe button i'm anna welcome back to our channel everybody so today we have a very important topic to discuss the fear of speaking english or any other foreign language for that matter i want to share with you my story and the things that i have learned and realized so you can skip my intro to this topic because i want to share a little bit about my experience and to talk in general about fear a little so you can skip this if you're not interested by clicking the time stamps in the description box and watch my tips on how to overcome the fear speaking right away first of all if you're afraid of speaking in english and you literally become anxious and sometimes you even have some sort of a panic attack when your mind goes blank and you're all shaky and your mouth gets dry when you have to speak to someone in english or your native language for that matter which is actually called social anxiety well welcome to the club i'll tell you a little secret there are very few of those lucky fearless outgoing people that really can talk to anybody anytime that's mainly because they don't care they don't care about being judged they're not thinking about what other people might think about them which means that they are pretty confident to be in their own skin and to be themselves they are okay with their mistakes and this is due to many reasons just as we have our fears due to many reasons that we're gonna talk about in this video all the rest of us not that lucky ones have to power through our fears i'm no different than anyone else i also have fears and insecurities and truth be told by my nature i'm more of a listener than a talker and when i have an important upcoming conversation i get nervous and i went through all the things that you guys write about in the comments like when you forget all the words or the things you wanted to say or sometimes it seems that you forget how to speak at all sometimes i got so nervous that i literally felt sick and consequently when you get that nervous your mouth gets dry her palms get wet you get shaky and sweaty that's your body's natural response to stress and i'll tell you more that happened with me not only when i had to speak english but when i had to speak with someone in my native language as well and sure thing that if i could i would avoid this human interaction so not to experience this stress but as we know so many things depend on our ability to communicate with people so when i started missing out on opportunities i decided that enough is enough and that i have to do something about it and i started digging reading books articles listening to psychologists and behavioral specialists and also some successful people that shared their experiences on how they overcame their fears and with a little bit of work and effort the problem was solved sort of do i still get nervous you betcha but it doesn't last long and it doesn't cause me trouble or stress anymore you know when i was thinking about this i realized that we always learn and that there's always room for improvement and growth live and learn live and learn so when we're talking about the fear of speaking english it's not the fear of actually opening your mouth and saying words it's the fear of being judged of making mistakes and of not being perfect we're talking about right all these fears come from different places like our upbringing our personality type the situations that we were faced with and our experiences that have shaped our characters i'll explain but first fear isn't all bad and it isn't our enemy it's a survival tool that prevents us from getting into some dangerous situations and you have to realize that this is just your bodies and brain's response to some various situations so if you consider something dangerous consciously or subconsciously your reaction will be fear and urge to run away and hide in some safe place and forget about it like when you see a wild animal and you just know that it might hurt you or when you see a fast common car coming dangerously towards you and you just know that you better get off its way how do we know this because first it's in our jeans and i'm not gonna dive into this and second because we were taught this our parents and teachers told us this and warned us about all the dangers it's a brief and rough explanation what i'm trying to say is don't be afraid to be afraid but we're also learning by observing and through our experiences so to illustrate you might have seen such situation in school for instance when a teacher shamed students for making mistakes i sure have that was a usual and regular practice in my school to publicly humiliate students from making mistakes or for whatever sometimes sometimes teachers would ask if someone didn't understand the topic and if someone said that they didn't they were asked if they were stupid so sure thing lots of people from my generation grew up to be self-conscious awkward and afraid to speak up afraid of making mistakes and always doubting themselves i even noticed the same thing in the older generation they're afraid to speak up even ask questions or have some serious conversations because they always worry about what someone else might think of them they second guess themselves and think that not knowing something or making a mistake is very humiliating and that's what they taught their children there you have it the fear i'm speaking from my own experiences and for myself but maybe someone else can relate now add to this a person's personality type since everyone's different there are those strong personalities that like challenges and they like to improve and deal with their fears and insecurities some might not really like doing that but they still do they conquer their fears and they consider those hard things as chances to improve and become better and they don't run away from difficulties they go towards them there are naturally pretty confident people they know their value and strong sides and there are shy and awkward people there are those who are more of a loner that like to read and need to spend some time alone and they don't really like talking to people whatsoever maybe you're familiar with such terms as an extroverted introvert and again a lot of this has to do with upbringing and also some people might have experienced some unpleasant situations that of course affected them like they might have come across some narcissistic judgmental suppressing and maybe even manipulative people yes unfortunately there are those and they might have convinced them that they can't achieve their goals and that their voice doesn't matter especially in english they might have ridiculed them and say some mean stuff to them and now they might think that everybody's like that and things like that but remember this these predators usually do this because they see your potential they know that you're amazing and due to many reasons like simple jealousy or their own insecurities that they project on others they want to hurt you so that you feel the same way as they do or they don't want you to succeed and sometimes this manipulation may not be that obvious it can be something like trying to talk you out of things and convincing you like in a friendly way that something's impossible and that you're wasting your time and money on learning english or working on your pronunciation for instance to be fair some people might not even realize that they're toxic so you just have to learn to recognize this now imagine a mixture of all these things combined understandably a person could experience anxiety self-doubt and might even believe that if they were to open their mouth the whole world would mock them i gave you these examples to let you know that there's nothing wrong with you you're not alone you're not a loser and you're definitely not stupid and you can change this i had to work on myself to free myself from all this crap and start living my best life and to take my life into my own hands so i finished my rambling now let's cut to the chase the first thing that worked for me and helped me to deal with my fear right away was turning my fear into excitement your body's response to stress and excitement is the same i heard this theory from vanessa van edwards a behavioral specialist i'm talking about those things that we experience on a physical level when we're afraid or stressed out or experiencing an anxiety like having a racing pulse rapid breathing sweaty and cold hands foggy thoughts dry mouth and trembling in our body so when you get excited like when you hear some great news or before meeting a family member or a friend after not having seen them for a long time we get excited and we might feel all the same things on a physical level like our heart starts racing our palms get sweaty and we might even feel lightheaded etc her suggestion was to trick your mind into thinking that you're excited it's all about mindset mindset is everything it actually works so i remember that i had to have a conversation in english and i was so nervous and not because of something particular like making a mistake but because of everything i was thinking about all sorts of stupid things you know so that conversation was happening no matter what it was settled and i figured that i would try this i didn't have anything to lose so all the way to the location where we were supposed to meet i kept thinking the same positive thoughts instead of those negative ones i would actually think oh gosh i'm so excited to meet this person i'm so excited to talk to them it's gonna be great and i smiled so simple and i mean i was so surprised i didn't come down by the time i came in the meeting i was actually excited and i smiled and the conversation went great afterwards i felt elated and satisfied with myself rather than exhausted and frustrated as i had felt before trying this so for me it's a very powerful tool it's my first go-to thing that i do i just started singing a different tune and over time through practicing this you kind of automatically start to feel excitement number two stop overthinking and procrastinating and just go for it speaking is a skill speaking in general like being able to express your thoughts clearly in english or in your native language public speaking or giving presentations at work you have to learn to do this develop it and practice nobody is born with this for some people it may be easier than for others but everyone can learn this skill again the more you do it the better you get at it so the point is that you should go for it that you literally search for those opportunities to speak and not shy away from them i know it's easier said than done but there's just no other way you won't magically wake up one day and be a wonderful fearless speaker and it won't happen overnight if that was the case there wouldn't be any courses where they teach public speaking and you know nobody would have a problem with this just out of curiosity watch videos on successful people and how they have become successful it's always through hard work and dedication and just apply this to yourself look at your need to learn to speak to other people confidently as a stepping stone to becoming successful in your personal life and work life because at the end of the day it is and you know this realization that you can learn this makes you believe that every time you speak and you try and you power through your fear you improve and become better and it helps you to let it go and concentrate on the process and be able to see your progress i understood that all that was happening with me when i was getting ready for something that was my mind messing up with me and knowing all these things that i just talked about puts me in control over my feelings and situations that come my way and it's a great feeling these things that we feel in our bodies when we're getting excited or nervous or scared like feeling sick in our tummies etc they will not go away ever because that's your body's natural response you're not a robot you have feelings but you can learn to manage them and turn them to your favor face your fear you have what it takes believe in yourself and trust yourself your intelligence endure an interesting person you got this even if you don't speak english well but remain confident in yourself the way you are radiating good positive relaxed energy vibes people are gonna feel this and they'll love it and they'll like you we attract what we radiate of course we're gonna meet different people and experiences with those people are not always gonna be pleasant just accept this not everyone's gonna like you and vibe with you and be on the same page with you and it's okay it's life hiding and avoiding speaking is only gonna make matters worse and you're only gonna lose precious time and it's the same with everything every fear and security you have only by doing it and pulling through despite your fear can you overcome it and if you think that your poor english is a problem that only when you're fluent you'll have amazing conversations i'm sorry to break it to you but i know so many people with intermediate english but people love them nonetheless just because they are chill and easy going and i know those with amazing english and very knowledgeable but who are afraid to speak so it's not about your english it's about your mindset another piece of good advice is to learn to control your breathing when we get nervous we tend to take those short breaths and those short breaths cause our heart to beat even faster and we feel even more anxious it's a vicious cycle so learning to control your breathing helps to lower your heart rate which in return reduces stress it's helpful not only when you're giving birth it's like a totally different discussion and there are people who know all about this and teach this so i highly recommend you look up some relaxation techniques and breathing exercises online number five listen to music you can even dance a little bit if you have time and the opportunity and exercise a little this will help you release this tension listen to music to psych yourself up it seems so simple like even ridiculous right however it'll help you to relax listen to your favorite or some cheerful and rhythmic music high energy music music can rewire your brain and tune you and for a particular emotions be it excitement or fear why do you think they use music and movies to get you in a certain mood and i'm sure that you've noticed that when you're listening to your favorite song your mood improves in no time so use this to your advantage or at least try it out music always works for me it even helps me to recover my energy when i'm tired but i know that i still have some work to do i take a break and listen to some rhythmic music to conclude guys i know that some of you might not be satisfied with this but all this is in our heads it's all about mindset there's unfortunately no pills for this this is something that takes a bunch of work on yourself and you're gonna have to challenge yourself and power through and power through and it takes so much strength to keep going after adversities and misfortunes and not to give up that's why successful people very rarely criticize others they know what it takes to become successful at something and what it's like i need to say that sticking your nose into someone else's business judging complaining and bashing others is very easy getting angry and playing the blame game is very easy but it's so hard to take a look at yourself and admit that only we are responsible for our outcomes and it's even harder to work on yourself and try to change something our job is to choose not to be angry complainers but doers and seek for improvement and change well that's it for this video i hope i really hope that it was useful if that was the case don't forget to click the subscribe button hit the bell to be notified when we upload new videos and give us thumbs up and i'll see you in the next video bye you

Channel: English Fluency Journey

Views: 222,129

Keywords: fear of speaking, fear of speaking english, how can i overcome my fear of speaking english, why am i afraid to speak english, how to overcome my fear of speaking, how to overcome my fear of speaking english, how to gain confidence in english, how to feel more confident speaking English, how to speak english with confidence, why do i feel shy to speak english, how can i improve spoken english, how to have a conversation in english, smal talk in english, english fluency journey

Id: N78zZskM7fI

Length: 18min 19sec (1099 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 14 2020