HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF (23 Tips For 2023) | The Tot Process

it's been raining and the frizz is real whatever love yourself 2023 let's go what is up you guys welcome to the top process or welcome back if you are a returning subscriber shout out to you guys um if you are new here and you just so happen to stumble across this video and you have no idea who I am my name is Tatiana manaus I'm a singer-songwriter and I pretty much just started this video series to give some insight on who I am as a person outside of Music share with you guys some things I feel think why I feel or think them and things like that so let's do this so if you've been following me for a while you know I'm very heavy on self-love pushing the message love yourself almost all the time and it's very important to me and I think it's very important for us to do so I thought it'd be cool to put together a video on how to love yourself and with 2023 around the corner and if you're watching this video and you took a deep breath right then and there same I thought it'd be cool to make 23 tips for 2023 on how to love yourself just a disclaimer these are not in chronological order of importance nor do I have all of these things down I'm still working on them myself on a day-to-day basis but I thought I'd share them with you because they were helpful to me and hopefully they'll be helpful to you too so here we go and just a third disclaimer if you hear a dog snoring in the background don't mind it please I'm babysitting let's do this number one be intentional and I did intend for this one to be number one even though I said this isn't in chronological order of importance but me personally I think this is one of the most important things because if you're not intentional simply put you're just gonna go about your same patterns same habits and if that hasn't been working for you being intentional about what lies ahead is pretty much giving yourself a much better chance at starting these healthier patterns so for example if you have a bad habit of talking down on your yourself and even if it's just internally you're so stupid you're so you know negative thing negative thing negative thing if that's a habit of yours and you are intentional about changing it ahead of time you can tell yourself every time I talk negative about myself I'm gonna give myself a positive and being that kind of intentional with yourself really will help combat these things that are you know like second nature to you I mean there's a lot of habits that I can list right now that are like second nature to me but we won't go there we'll move on I hope that makes sense be intentional about your journey of self-love if it's really bad really be intentional here we go number two see yourself I'm gonna use a movie reference to try and drive this point home but if you've ever seen the movie Avatar and if you haven't I highly recommend it in their dialect they have this phrase that they say to one another don't know how to say it in their language but they say I see you and it's not just with their eyes not just like right in front of me I see you but it's like a full acknowledgment of I see you for all that you are and I acknowledge you the reason why I make this a point that's important to me on how to love yourself in a world where the desire to be seen is like at an all-time high when's the last time that you were able to look at yourself for all that you are for exactly where you are in life and actually acknowledge all of it I'll just speak for myself for a long time my desire to be seen was what I was chasing instead of actually learn how to look at myself for everything that I am and feel satisfied and be enough that's what it comes down to as being enough to need an external source to see you to feel like you're enough is so backwards at least in my opinion and it really backfired because the more I needed the external source and it wouldn't ever ever ever fulfill the feeling of needing to be seen I was chasing forever and now I'm in a place of and I'm still learning but now I'm in a place where I can see myself and feel feel fulfilled I see you from you for your mistake I see you for not being where you want wanna be I still see you and I love all that you are and you're enough we got real right away let's just acknowledge that um but this is so important to see yourself all by yourself not needing an external source to feel seen super important Game Changer and like I said if you haven't seen Avatar go watch it boom here we go number three know that the battle is within if you don't know that the battle is here you will lose I'm speaking from experience if you think that it's about what you wear how you do your hair what kind of car you drive external things you will lose this battle of self-love all the external things outside of your self it's all extra it is not out there the Battle Is Here moving on number four clean up your commentary and the key word here is your commentary don't worry about what other people are saying have said will say your commentary in other words your inner dialogue this might not be for everybody but if your dialogue habitually is negatives negative talk to Yourself clean it up clean up your commentary in other words if you make a mistake instead of you idiot or you're so stupid like it's bad for some people like that and it has been for me before instead of that you could say that wasn't exactly the smartest thing you could do you could do a lot better you know what I'm saying like that's just an example but it's true cleaning up your commentary will actually very very very efficiently help your relationship with yourself because the inner dialogue is what's running 24 7 and if you have a bad habit of negative talk to your yourself I highly encourage you to clean up your commentary I used to be very bad at that talk to yourself nicer if it's not helpful it's not needed telling yourself you're an idiot is not helpful so it's not needed clean up your commentary moving on number five to know true genuine and real love you have to know what isn't people pleasing control attention validation that's not love these are not things that will ever ever make you feel fulfilled so whenever it shows up in that way you're like oh hold on hold on we we learned that people pleasing that's not it control that's not it so every time it shows up it becomes easier to say ah we already rerouted that one so to know what it is gotta know what isn't moving on number six separate the truth from your trauma in my experience trauma can build an entire lie and you believe it that's in my experience what trauma can do and has done so to separate the truth from your trauma is key in your self-love Journey I'll just share a piece of myself with you guys through meditation I remember hitting this memory and it was a memory from my childhood and I won't break that down but long story short I hit this emotion where I remember feeling throughout my childhood that I believed that I was unlovable I built the real belief around I am unlovable that's not the truth that's my trauma parents get divorced things happen you start asking yourself why you start thinking that you're the reason boom there's the belief I'm unlovable you don't decide to believe that you just internalize so many emotions that it kind of just births and that's your trauma builds this lie that you believe separate the truth from your trauma easier said than done moving on number seven therapy therapy therapy I highly recommend it I know it's a cost okay but for one you deserve it and for two it's a tool that you need to do these things like I said I know it's a cost but think of it like investing into something that's like gonna change your life for the better which it is which it will therapy is so necessary I recommend that for the rest of my life to everybody everybody moving on number eight ReDiscover what was lost and nurture what was neglected I'm making this a point because you may have somewhere along the way let go of the belief that this is possible whatever you lost your confidence self-esteem if you remember having it like man what happened to me ReDiscover what you lost it's not gone you can find it again it's possible easier said than done but it's possible and nurture what was neglected whatever you got neglected as a kid whether it was your emotion your actual physical needs you can nurture that now be your own there's a phrase they say um you have to love your inner child that's what this whole love yourself thing is it's your inner child is hurt and you have to be the person to help them feel better because nobody can feel how hurt and what kind of hurt except for you because it's your inner child ReDiscover what was lost nurture what was neglected like I said I'm I'm putting this down because some of us may have let go of the belief that these things are possible leave it at that moving on here we go number nine change the narrative growing up if you were told like you're not good enough or just downright like it's not gonna work out for you basically change the narrative you can for one what is it gonna be now what do you say it is now okay I feel like I didn't really drive that point home like I wanted to and that's what happens when you decide to film at one o'clock in the morning and you're pretty much Zapped anyway my point was you are the author of your story no one else is so whatever you decide to do or pursue or go about in a certain way you are writing your narrative and if you decide to do nothing different The Narrative will remain the same so my encouragement to you is don't let what was already written in the last chapters of your life be your whole entire story you can start today and do things that write a whole new story to where down the line the new narrative would be you accomplished pursuing that business that you've always dreamed of or you pursued all your hopes and dreams and passions and things like that that's just a broad stroke of it all but at the end of the day you're the author whatever you decide to do is what you're writing in your story so what are you gonna write because it's depends in your hand rewrite the narrative leave it at that I hope that drove it home yes there still is a dog snoring it's crazy back to the video moving on on number 10 stop looking for one day solutions for problems you've had for years this one was a tough one for me because the amount of frustration that would build off of not seeing progress as fast as I wanted to all it ever did was delay my progress I no longer expect this relationship with yourself to be healthy I no longer expect it to be an overnight thing if you've been following me you saw my recent post that I wrote a song called yesterday every day always and it's literally talking about self-love I wrote that three years ago only now have I actually seen progress in the relationship that I have with myself the way I talk to myself the way I see myself is so much healthier than it used to be and three years ago when I wrote that song I thought like this is how you do it guys self-love like no takes much much longer than you think or that then you might be thinking things that you've believed throughout your childhood ways that you've gone about your life up until now that's a lot of time that you've invested into doing things a certain way and if those certain ways are unhealthy and you're now trying to change them the amount of time it took that you've been doing that pretty much is give yourself that to turn that around it's logical when you think of it that way it sucks but it's it's the reality of it stop looking for one day solutions for problems that you've had for years it discourages your progress and it creates a false hope that this Love Yourself Journey is going to be easy that's false it doesn't exist we'll leave it at that moving on number 11 in order to unlearn you have to learn new however bad your pattern is of your toxic trait you have to really counter that thing you know what I mean like whatever is engraved you gotta engrave another thing because that path is going to take its course if you're not careful you got to be so intentional about replacing that toxic trait with a healthy boundary you know what I'm saying like we're not going to do these things no more telling yourself you're not going to do that anymore you have to learn A New Path and that's the thing it's a entire new path that has to be engraved after the one that's been engraved is just taking its course if you're not careful that's why I said be intentional and that sounds so easy but it's not and that's okay it's a long-term thing guys it's not overnight we're gonna leave it at that number 12 be content with your own company here's how I'm gonna drive this this point home definition of content in a state of peaceful happiness if you're miserable alone I hate to break the news to you you will be miserable with company it it might not feel like that at first you might feel like you solved the problem of you know you're not happy or whatever if you can't be happy peacefully Happy by yourself in your own company you will be miserable with a friend around there's no other way to put it it's it's the truth it's the harsh truth like I said earlier the external things are the extra company is extra if you can enjoy your own you'll always need that external to feel like you're not miserable that company isn't always going to be there so then what that's where you have to learn to be content with your own company all by yourself it's not going to be easy at first but if this is what you want to pursue a better relationship with your self-love How To Love Yourself this is a very important thing to get down we'll leave it at that number 13 stop forcing what doesn't fit for you stop forcing it I believe in trying again I believe that God can do a new thing Tasha Cobbs God's doing a new thing get ready for overflow unless he already told you no just to try and make this a point shout out to Tasha Cobbs literally if it's not meant for you stop going down that path and I'm telling myself this if it ain't it ain't it you know what I'm saying that that's just if it's not for you and you're just forcing it you're going down a path that's going to require you to form in a different way that isn't really yourself and you're forfeiting yourself basically when you do that and that's just not the goal with this whole entire thing and like I said I'm telling myself this really so moving on I'll leave that one at that number 14 build Bridges not barriers this one was tough for me let me see if I can break this down to where you really can understand definition of bridge I'll skip the first one we know what a bridge is okay something that is intended to reconcile or form a connection between two things we need to be connected that's healthy connections are healthy healthy ones are there's that definition of barrier a circumstance or obstacle that keeps people or things apart or prevents communication or progress y'all we want to progress in life and in our self-love Journey but like I said in life we want to progress we want we want connections we want we don't want to be alone in this y'all and we're not supposed to be that's the thing we're not supposed to be so the barriers they gotta go you know what I'm saying boundaries are are healthy healthy boundaries that's cool barriers they block I said this before but they block blessings y'all to build barriers against people against you know just whatever happened to you and you just felt the need to like forever have this wall up that's not healthy we got to put those down and we gotta build Bridges which is intended to reconcile or make a connection is what we need between two things so if you have a hard time making friends or keeping friends or if you have a hard time seeing eye to eye with family members things like that it's your barriers You're Building barriers or you have built barriers that are like cemented in you got to knock those things down I know easier said than done you got to build the bridge you've got to build the bridges okay we'll leave it at that build Bridges not barriers let's do this number 15 if it hurts more to hold on let it go here's how I'll just I'll just cap this one and we'll move on from this because it's it's self-explanatory do you want to hurt or do you want to heal I'll leave that at that if it hurts more to hold on Let It Go all right I know it's not easy but do you want to heal or do you want to hurt some of us are like I'll hurt I'll hurt till hold on don't do that let it go it hurts Let It Go all right moving on number 16 be patient with your pace keyword your pace somebody else's pace is not your pace and that is okay I'll just speak for myself if I'm just now getting this whole self-love thing down I'm 26 that's 26 years of things I gotta unlearn and learn new I gotta be patient with that be patient don't look at other people's lanes let that that's that's their process be patient with your pace it'll help you moving on number 17 be proud of your progress what better way to keep yourself going than to cheer yourself on on the way be proud little little little progress matters going in the right direction matters that matters y'all be proud of that okay we'll leave that one at that one number 18 recharge when you need to I'll simplify it like this a low battery is a low battery if if a friend needed a flashlight that I had and it was a low battery but I I have one but it's a low battery and they needed it for like you know to be they're gonna be in the dark that's what they needed it for that's the purpose of it if I say yeah I gotta I got a flashlight here you go not only are they gonna be Sol out of luck they're gonna look at me like yo I would have rather you just said you didn't have one for me you know what I'm saying like nobody wins in that so when you read I hope that that ties together with what I'm trying to say when you need to recharge recharge don't spread yourself thin don't lie and say like you can help somebody else when when you're like running low that's not self-love To Love Yourself is to to know that you're limited in your energy which we all are and that's okay it's okay to need to recharge recharge that's self-love recharge when you need to and know that when you need to like yeah no I can't I can't do X Y and Z because you know what I'm saying I'm not my best self right now but you know there's people out there who will lie about that too just to get away with not doing whatever and that's not cool but when you really need to recharge we'll leave it at that here we go number 19 be honest honesty honesty honesty honesty honesty with yourself and with others but in this case particularly yourself to be honest with yourself is the only way to go about this entire self-love Journey properly so if you're not honest with yourself you're not pursuing the right path um I don't know how to better put that but if you are lying to yourself about where you are mentally emotionally if you're saying you're fine if if you're saying um that therapy isn't working or or if you're lying saying it is working and you're not doing the daily practices if you're lying about it you're not going to be on the right path the progress won't show you're lying you're not honest to yourself or others you know what I'm saying you're not gonna get where you want to really be if you really want to see the progress with this my goodness I don't know if you can hear that sorry anyway if you really want to see that progress you've got to be honest and part of that Honesty could start with I'm not good at being honest it might have to start there anyway moving on we'll leave it at that number 20. find the humor in your hiccups let me drive this point home in a similar way definition of Hiccup obviously we know what a regular hiccup is a temporary or minor difficulty or setback y'all there's a time to be serious and there's a time to laugh find the humor in your hiccups if you made a mistake that you have a hard time looking at you have like you're really ashamed you're still trying to learn how to get past like what happened you gotta find the humor in it it's it there's healing in there to laugh about it obviously like I said there's a time to be serious but then there's a time to laugh find the humor in it it really helps heal past the mistake that you made whatever it may be find the humor in your hiccups we'll leave it at that moving on number 21 educate yourself whatever you're you're dealing with whether mentally emotionally physically whatever there's a very high chance and I mean very high chance that what you're going through someone else has already or is currently and I promise you I almost guarantee you will find on the internet someone who's going through what you're going through and educating yourself on how they got through it or what exactly it is that you're dealing with anxiety depression continuously educate yourself it bring knowledge will really help you walk through some of the things that you're trying to walk through I understand everybody has you know their own thing that they're going through so everybody's information might vary but it's true to educate yourself will help you understand having the understanding about what you're going through really alleviates the alone feeling of going through it and and you might have to go through the steps alone but somewhere in the world somebody is going through it too so I highly recommend educate yourself moving on number 22 reflect reflect reflect so important if you've been following me you you just saw my post about this is reflection is key I mean therapy helps with this too but reflecting on where you've been in life will allow you to see that for one you're still here and you made it through so it's not Doom and Gloom forever the rain does stop reflecting will really allow you to see that you times that you felt alone you made it through for one but for two you actually really weren't alone and I'm and I know not everybody watching might be a believer but I am a hundred percent a believer in Jesus and God and he's always looking after you I promise you that um reflecting you will let you see that and I 100 believe in that um so reflect very very key vital thing to do moving on number 23 forgive forgiveness forgive forgiveness for yourself forgive others and you know that process might be more difficult for some of us more than others but forgiveness is a big time healing tool um in the process of loving yourself one thing that helps me forgive is to remember that I want to be forgiven for things that I've done mistakes that I've made so I know what it's like to be on that end of wanting to be forgiven so if I know what that's like I want to give my forgiveness out to the person who did me wrong because I believe that they're on the other end hoping for forgiveness too so I know what that's like to be able to forgive yourself and to forgive others will really really really really help you progress in life but for sure with your self-love you definitely can see progress when you start implicating that into your your journey highly recommended if you have a hard time forgiving or if you have a certain events in your life that were very very very traumatic for one I'm sorry that you had to go through that but at the end of the day forgiveness really is for you and for your healing and you might have heard that before I know I have from Tyler Perry but forgiveness is is for you for you to heal for you to move forward if it hurts more to hold on let it go that was number 15. all right this episode was really real but it is real to love yourself and it's very important to have self-love and really build on that unconditional care for yourself not needing an external source for those things because at the end of the day external things are extras don't forget that all right that was 23 tips for 2023 on how to love yourself I hope you guys enjoyed this video I hope it was insightful inspiring and a source of positive energy and shout out to everybody who's tuning in who has tuned in to the last episode shout out to all the love you guys are showing it really keeps me going I look forward to seeing you guys on the next episode but until then I love you guys [Music] foreign

Channel: Tatiana Manaois

Views: 56,075

Keywords: tatiana manaois, the tot process, vlog series, how to love yourself, self love, forgiveness

Id: W889TOh218Y

Length: 25min 48sec (1548 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 15 2022