How to Look Confident

do you know how to be confident or how to feel powerful and capable in your professional social and romantic interactions today I want to bust a big confidence myth watch on to find out more here's the myth I was told over and over again confidence you either have it or you don't and no one quite knows how to get it if you don't this myth is pervasive and damaging it destroys tiny fragile beautiful little buds of confidence before they can grow and I want your confidence to grow and flourish and I know it can confidence isn't something that arrives at birth it's a skill one that can be developed through intentional and purposeful practice here's how number one how to look confident for this video I'm gonna do something a little different we're gonna start with the outside in when it comes to confidence sometimes it's a faster route let's start with your confident looks and no I don't mean your clothes or your hair this tip is all about your body language let me ask you a question when you walk into a networking event or office or restaurant do you look like a winner this may seem like a strange question but research from the University of British Columbia makes it clear we innately get bigger in our bodies when we feel pride but get smaller in our bodies we feel defeated or ashamed why does this matter without realizing it when we look at someone we're trying to decide if they look more like a winner or a loser if someone taking up space do they have their head held high and their shoulders down and relaxed or do they look like a loser with their shoulders rolled in their chin to their chest and a slouched position without realizing it we make snap judgments of people the moment we see them and then put them into one of two buckets in order to be confident your body language must show it first the easiest way to look like a winner is to claim our territory own your body and own the space around you by standing or sitting tall keep your arms loose by your side relax your shoulders down your back and open your chest these expansive postures will show others that you're confident and sure of yourself be wary of low power postures like crossing your arms or turtling your shoulders to your ears as this may signal defeat number two how to speak confidently now that you've learned how to look confident let's talk about how to sound confident when you answer the phone and when you start a new conversation it's crucial that your voice projects confidence but how we make our first impression in our hello upon answering the phone the question is is your voice helping or hurting your confidence here at science of people we did a fascinating experiment on vocal power and have some incredible tips for you on how you can make your voice sound better and how to benefit from every single phone conversation we asked participants to record themselves saying hello in six different ways normal hello happy hello sad hello angry hello power posing hello and normal hello again we added these recordings to our website and asked our readers to tell us how much they liked or didn't like the person in the recording just based on the hello they heard readers listened to each clip and selected one of the following answers I like this person a lot I like this person a little or I don't like this person at all which version of the hello do you think was the most likeable the winner was the happy hello of course the data revealed that the happy recordings received significantly more approval ratings than any other hello this is a huge finding as it shows people can hear your mood which variation do you think did the worst the angry hello action step your mood affects your voice never ever answer the phone in a bad mood and if you have an important call watch some funny YouTube videos to bring some natural smiles into your face number three does happiness equal confidence happiness and confidence go hand-in-hand if you're curious about how to be more confident at work one of the best ways to feel professionally confident is to have meaningfulness in your job do you know your company's mission do you know the impact of your work when we don't know how our daily responsibilities contribute to a larger mission we can feel disengaged or hopeless in our workplace there is nothing worse than feeling like what you do doesn't matter here are some ideas to add meaning to your day first find out your company's mission statement or if it's your company create a mission statement if your company doesn't have one write the mission statement you think your company should have maybe you can even bring it up to your bosses second write your own personal mission statement why do you do what you do beyond just a paycheck who are you helping this could be your colleagues your team or your clients put this mission statement somewhere easy to see on your desk or hang it on your cubicle wall lastly make a success folder on your computer this is a folder that contains records of accomplishments testimonials and any other example of your rock star status at work if you're having a bad day open your success folder to remind yourself of your worth action step watch all 10 ways to be happier at work to boost your day to day satisfaction number 4 how to walk confidently did you know your walk can project your confidence bio motion lab analyzes and synthesizes biological motion patterns a fancy way of saying they study walking and movement for patterns biological motion looks at how emotions and intentions can change our walk the human visual system is highly sensitive to our motion and without realizing it we're capable of decoding things about people from their walk we investigate the question of how such information is encoded in biological motion and how it can be retrieved they apply linear methods from statistics to patterns to recognition to analysis they use several variants to show different kinds of walks from gender to weight to nervousness to happiness see the differences interesting right action step how do you walk film yourself walking and see if you can slide more towards relaxed and happy see how that changes how you feel five find a confident role model confidence is easier to develop when we can watch and emulate someone in action do you have someone in your life who exudes confidence professionally or personally maybe a partner a colleague or a close friend assign them as your confidence role model this can be a secret role model you observe and take notes of how they interact or you can talk to your role model and ask them to be your mentor there's no better compliment than telling someone their natural confidence is alluring this can lead to multiple benefits including you bonding with them on a deeper level them sharing ideas on how you can up your individual confidence and maybe even some insider tips on how they got to their own confidence levels not sure who to choose look for a role model in the workplace who embodies the following qualities shows confidence in their leadership isn't afraid to be unique communicates interacts with everyone shows respect and concern for everyone they meet is knowledgeable and well-rounded has humility and shows willingness to admit mistakes does good things outside the job what I love about this list of qualities is that many are unexpected confidence comes in multiple flavors it isn't about being the most extroverted bubbly person in the room sometimes it's about empathy humility competence number six pump up your confidence are you in a funk when we experience burnout or exhaustion our confidence tends to dip a fun option to ramp up your confidence is by creating different kinds of confidence playlists this can be a Spotify playlist it gets you in a good mood or a YouTube playlist that inspires you listen or watch when you're brushing your teeth getting ready or on your commute anytime you need a pump up want to listen to our free audio training I would love to pump you up learn how to stand out from your peers with our praiseworthy performance free audio training listen right now at science at people.com slash praiseworthy number seven overcome imposter syndrome for many high achievers success comes at a price and this price is known as impostor syndrome this is a psychological phenomenon that causes smart talented people to feel like a fraud to feel undeserving of their accomplishments studies have found that 70 percent of all people feel like imposters at one time or another this is a huge problem here's the most important thing to keep in mind this is not a defect imposter syndrome is not a personality trait it's a reaction to an event do you ever think your accomplishments are just not enough or pure luck do you ever worry that people will find out that you aren't worthy this is impostor syndrome at work and it's temporary and overcome abble when our mind and thoughts work against us her confidence shrivels up and hides away one way to fight impostor syndrome is with motivating self-talk stop feeling like a fraud with this video on a more serious note if you get stressed out in social settings it's possible you may be suffering from social anxiety social anxiety is when you feel nervous tense or uncomfortable in social situations because you're worried other people are judging you almost everyone has experienced social anxiety at one point or another life is rife with moments of self-consciousness from job interviews to first dates we all occasionally feel nervous around other people unfortunately social anxiety can become at worst debilitating and at the very least damper our inner confidence and make it feel impossible to be social in an authentic way the good news is there are ways to overcome your social anxiety with a treatment known as cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT I mentioned this here because if you're having a more serious issue with confidence I highly recommend getting professional help CBT is recognized as one of the most effective treatment options for social anxiety think about getting more help and learn more about social anxiety and how to deal in our full video number 8 how to spark confidence in your brain our thoughts dictate nearly every aspect of our existence and if our thoughts are insecure or demotivated it's nearly impossible to think and feel confidently about ourselves shad Helmstetter author of what to say when you talk to yourself argues that we are programmed by our thoughts our mindset and our self truths are the epicenter of our confidence self truths the ideas we tell ourselves the beliefs we carry around whether they are true or not what are the stories you tell yourself what are your truths and are these factual truths or assumed truths many people tell themselves I'll never be good at sports or I'm not creative enough or I could never own my own business I want you to dig into these truths a bit more do you believe this because someone told you that you would never succeed at fill in the blank is there a deeper insecurity that contributes to this limiting belief go through three of your biggest limiting beliefs and do some fact-checking where did they come from why and you want to keep them bouncing around in your head take ownership of the thoughts that only serve you number nine limit social media consumption we all love a good dog photo on Instagram right well surmounting research shows that social media is hurting us the endless comparison we subject ourselves to by this technological vehicle can have lasting and harmful effects researcher Clarissa Silva interviewed men and women between the ages of 28 and 73 and found these crazy results 60 percent of people using social media reported that has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way 50 percent reported social media having negative effects on their relationships 80 percent reported that it's easier to be deceived by others through their sharing on social media this insecurity is especially rampant in the online dating space according to Silva it seems that social media is creating a paradox effect giving off the illusion of many choices while making it harder to find viable options the paradox effect in dating is creating the illusion of having more social engagement social capital and popularity but masking one's true persona remember there is a big bright world happening around you social media helps to stay connected and informed but it's also important to find a balance between reality and fantasy want to conquer your social media for every hour you spend on social media in the next month spend the equivalent time with friends or family in person to balance it out here's the bottom line the path to more confidence is in your hands confidence doesn't grow without water fertilizer and a little TLC take steps even small ones to up your confidence and kick-start the life you always wanted hey I want to tell you one more thing you are amazing the question is do you know how to share it I'd love to help I saved my very best tips for my insider subscribers subscribe for free @ signs of people calm I know your inbox is sacred so I promise to send you only emails in love you know what would really help my confidence is a little like you on this video even more subscribe to our channel and my confidence will soar thank you for that little confidence boost

Channel: Vanessa Van Edwards

Views: 349,491

Rating: 4.9447556 out of 5

Keywords: vanessa van edwards, science of people, communication, nonverbal communication, verbal communication, how to be confident, how to look confident, how to be more confident, confident posture, confident body language, how to build confidence, how to build self confidence, self esteem, social anxiety, body language tips, how to walk with confidence, self confidence, build confidence, confidence tips, confidence ted talk, boost your confidence

Id: 7LkEtZhskv4

Length: 14min 11sec (851 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 15 2019