How to Handle Conflict in Marriage

is interesting you know I haven't been in a crisis or in a relationship like that but I do know the turmoil of a husband and wife and what happens and learning like how do i navigate all of this and one thing that we really i remember thinking is i need a game plan when i'm not in crisis or when I'm not freaking out because when I'm freaking out I say things I don't want to say I'm making ultimatums I'm broadcasting I'm yelling in front of the kids and so some of my game plans were okay these are the top three people I'll call if I'm in trouble and I and I got his approval I know them your secrets are you gonna this is okay right because they can't just be like you don't tell anybody we're gonna note together but I needed some people so are these three people you agree upon and number three I'm not gonna ask for permission if I call them because I'm gonna be mad at you so this is not like a conference call also if we're in crisis I'm at were allowed to go see these people right like we're gonna go run to their house and meet with them and I needed some ways out because when you're a caged animal you will do anything to get out so I did that and then another thing like Ben and I got in this really bad habit of like yelling at each other in the middle of it like chaotic and I remember telling him okay this we have this thing like this is turning disrespectful not you are disrespectful which I'm gonna stop it right now yeah this is trained is respectful I'm gonna go in the other room and win we're respectful again well talk and then actually backing that up not saying well you know cuz of course whoever you're talking to if you did it to me I'd be like well yours leaving like what's of course you're gonna run out on me like of course you don't you don't want to face it but instead of going hey this is trainees respectful and so what you do is you start to rework the pattern of what you got into you which is the ten o'clock running down the hall after each other to like no we're not gonna do this and then I'll be in here when you want to be respectful be right here and then using phrases like I don't know or that could be or maybe so or you know and things that like really diffuse it but keeping that power in their core and in your course so for us I just find that having a game plan on knowing how to deal and knowing what my goatees are which in a crisis are not always the best it does I don't show up as the best of me I show up is the worst of me mm-hmm and then being realized like okay being willing to walk out being willing to say cuz this is what we hear all the time is like what am I gonna do I'm live with the person that's crazy like it's I I don't know what to do like I'm married to them we have babies together what do I do and I do believe that you can be restored in the middle of a marriage ya know and I think sometimes I don't think I need to leave to do this but you actually can begin to rework and retrain things that work were chaotic and not healthy and there are things that I did early on that I'm like oh Lord I never want to see a video of that again yeah we can laugh about it now but there were years of oh hi everybody I hope you enjoyed this video subscribe today and you'll never miss a new episode thanks for being a part of our better together community

Channel: Better Together TV

Views: 7,630

Rating: 4.9860139 out of 5

Keywords: Better Together, Better Together TV, TBN, Trinity Broadcasting Network, Havilah Cunnington, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Boundaries, Crisis, COnflict, Relationships, Lisa Bevere, Taylor Madu, CeCe Winans, Laurie Crouch

Id: hFV0dV-BANU

Length: 2min 59sec (179 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 17 2019