Hello Brains! Raise your hand if you’ve ever spent 3 hours
scrolling through social media. Raise your *other* hand if you’ve ever actually
*planned* to. (INTRO) ADHD brains need a lot of stimulation. I explain why in this video, but basically,
most of us don’t spend hours scrolling through social media because we think that's
a great use of our time — we do it because we’re looking for the stimulation
we need to function. Unfortunately, the quick and easy sources
of dopamine we tend to turn to often aren't enough to actually satisfy that need. I had a really great conversation with Eric
Tivers about this a couple weeks ago — and he explained it as trying to fill a bucket
with a hole in it. Water’s coming into the bucket...but it’s
also going out of the bucket. So we spend hours scrolling through social
media without really enjoying ourselves. Or we hit the pleasure button on the same
activity so many times, it actually stops being as fun. Or we send WAY too many texts. The obvious solution here is to do things
that *do* give us the level of stimulation we need. That DO fill our buckets. But making different choices requires figuring
out what those choices are, weighing those choices, figuring out the steps involved then initiating
them, and, because the more satisfying dopamine
choices usually take longer to set up, being able to tolerate the distress of being bored
in the meantime. Which, when we’re already low on dopamine,
has a possibility scale ranging from “mayyyybe?” to “nope.” Just like it’s really hard to make good
food choices when you’re already hungry, it’s really hard to make good dopamine choices
when you’re already low on dopamine. One way we can make it easier is to separate
the planning from the choosing. Or as Eric puts it -- don’t try to do all
the executive functions at the same time. [ERIC]: One of the challenges that we come
across is that we are looking for something to stimulate ourselves at the time when we
need to stimulate ourselves. We can create a dopamine menu or a dopa-menu
for things that excite us. So when you're like, "I'm so boredddd," grab
the menu! I feel like not doing that is almost like
going to the grocery store hungry. [Jessica]: Yeahhh. Without a grocery sho-- without a list. [Eric]: Without a list. Right. Without a list. Whatever's the fastest, easiest, like, I want
to eat this thing NOW. [Jessica]: In case you're thinking, "well
yeah, that's easy for him to say, he's a professional--" He also has ADHD. And he's very good at entertaining himself. [Eric]: What do we do about how to... Wait, what do we do about what? [Jessica]:(laughs) [Eric]: I just had the thought. Would these tomatoes fit in my nose? [Jessica]: Do you need a minute? [Eric]: There's a tomato somewhere on the
floor of my office. And if I forget about it, it's eventually
gonna become a sundried tomato. Do you see my tomato? [Jessica]: I don't see your tomato. Does anybody else see Eric's tomato? [Eric]: I love that I have clothes on my floor
and this is my office. Okay, hold on. Where's the tomato?! [Jessica]: So I tried it out! I made a Dopamenu based on his suggestions,
and it was actually a really cool experience. I elaborated on the concept a bit based on
my experience in restaurants working with actual menus, and then put it all together
in a handy acronym: DOPA. Here you go. The world’s first video on how to create
a Dopamenu. In 4 steps. First, DESIGN your menu. To do this, Eric recommends thinking about things that
you’ve done that made you feel really excited, or alive -- and on the flip side, what your
go-to’s are when you’re bored that don't actually make you feel great. You can design your menu however you want,
but I split mine up into: Entrees: the activities that excite me and
make me feel alive — like playing my guitar, or taking my dog to the dog park, going to
the gym or yoga, spending quality time with someone, game nights
with friends, making a TikTok video! Desserts: things that are my go-to’s that
I tend to overdo it on. Things that don't really fill the bucket. Scrolling through social media, texting, spending
time with someone who’s not really present, ruminating, mindless eating, watching TV, playing video games by myself,
wow I have a lot of these. I would like to point out that it's totally
fine to eat dessert sometimes, it’s just good to be aware of when that’s what we’re
ordering because if that’s all we’re eating, we’re probably not going to feel great. I also added Appetizers: things that can give me a quick
dopamine burst without sucking me in. So things like a minute of jumping jacks,
or a cup of coffee, or setting a timer for 5 minutes on social media. And Sides: things I can add to other activities
to make them more engaging. So, adding a music playlist, using a fidget,
or making it more challenging. And I made a separate menu for “specials”
-- Things like concerts that I might be able
to go to occasionally but I can’t do very often. Going on vacation, buying a new outfit! Once you have a bunch of options on your menu, omit any options that aren’t realistic right
now. You know what... Restaurants take stuff off their menu all
the time because it’s not in season or it’s too expensive to make or nobody's ordering
it; so can we. Dog park will have to wait until we can do
that again. I will actually never choose "write a novel"
over "post on Twitter;" also this is not a to-do list, this is a Dopamenu. That one’s kind of expensive, it should
probably be a special -- Oh good, I have specials again. The idea is, what’s on your menu should
be something you’d actually “order” and something you can actually “make.” Once you’ve got your menu set, Prep your ingredients! Restaurants know that when people are hungry,
they don’t like to wait... so they prepare everything they reasonably can ahead of time. We can do the same. After creating my menu, I set up a table for
painting my minis so it doesn’t take as long to get started, I put my guitar on a stand by the couch. When I’m done watching TV at night, I switch
it to a YouTube workout video so that that's the first thing I see when I turn it on in
the morning, and because I realized video games are only
really satisfying to me when they’re new or when I’m playing with a friend, I added
to my video game budget so that I can try new games and occasionally buy one for a friend. I also *created* a few barriers to some of
my go-to's that I would like to not go to as often. I put my phone charger where I can’t reach
it from the couch, I deleted Facebook from my phone and gave my kitchen a cover charge. Before I can grab a snack, I have to roll
a d20 and I do whatever exercise matches the number on the die. Basically, for the things you want to encourage
yourself to do, decrease the number of steps involved. For any go-to's you’d like to go to a little
less often, you can do the opposite and increase the number of steps. Finally, Advertise your menu! Most menus have enticing descriptions to get
you to order the thing. We can do that too! We can also make it pretty, or funny, and
post it where we’ll be able to see it when we’re bored. I posted one on my coffeetable, in my studio,
on my fridge, and I made a mini version for the lock screen of my phone. Now when I pick up my phone, I can see what
my other options are. If you're not sure what to choose, there are
even websites with random choice generators. Just put in all your options and it will pick
one for you. This isn’t to say that suddenly we’re
going to make all different choices, or even that we should. There’s something to be said for familiarity,
especially when we’re going through a crisis. But by preparing a menu in advance, we’ll
have more options available to us when we need them. Of course, if nothing seems fun, Eric has
a different piece of advice for that. What do we do if nothing feels enjoyable? [ERIC]: Call your doctor. Maybe that's depression. So, if the, you know, it's the things that
you once found enjoyable are not, I mean...it also could be ADHD cause you're just bored
of the thing cause you've already been doing this for a week and I need something new now. Um... [JESSICA]: How do you know the difference? [ERIC]: I think you feel it physically when
it's depression. [JESSICA]: That's it for this video! Let us know what you think in the comments
below and share any ideas you have. If you do design a menu, post it on Instagram
and use the #BraintasticTuesday. It's where we're starting to celebrate all
of our achievements! Thank you to my Brain Advocates and all my
Patreon Brains for helping us hit our next goal! Like, subscribe, click the bell if you want
to be notified the next time we post and I will see you next video! Bye brains! But did he ever find the tomato?
I really love this channel. Good recommendation :)
I love her! Her channel is what made me start questioning myself and got me to seek help. She can be a bit bubbly, but honestly something like that is better than the boring voiceovers of how to manage and what not.
This was great and just what I needed to see. Thank you for sharing.
Truly fantastic channel. Excellent advice. I should mention that it's not a substitute for therapy though.
Good content yea?
This channel is how I realized my mom has ADHD and how I inherited it from her (: my mom has the active type and mine is inattentive!
That was awesome, thanks!
Love this channel. It helped my s/o and me a lot. She's so kind too. I adore her
This channel was a game changer for me. She's doing the Lord's work this Jessica!