How to Free Yourself From Constant Doubt and Worry

there's a huge inner obstacle to anything you want to say or do or become and it's fear and I'm talking about fear in the broadest sense anxiety or an inhibition inside that stops you from freely living you doubt yourself you feel mortified every time you say what you really think you stay small you can't express yourself and you can't be you when you're full of fear fear and there's so much BS out there about what is fear and what to do to have less of it but if you've ever tried to heal that in yourself you probably noticed that no one tells you how I'm going to tell you exactly how to get free of fear and the reason I had to learn this is because I lived so much of my life before the age of 30 totally held down by fear and I didn't know what to do because all I ever used to hear is you just should not have fear and I'm sure you've heard this all these celebrities and athletes and self-help gurus tell you you have to let it go just like that it's like a slogan right no fear be fearless and it sounds so appealing but when you have trauma wounds from your childhood you're like uh is it just me cuz I thought I must be some Unique Kind of broken weirdo cuz I just couldn't couldn't let it go whatever normal people say to do about fear didn't do anything for me and fear was you know it was like the air I breathed I was stuck in this one gear I couldn't accept things I couldn't change things so I always had to pretend that you know this wasn't happening I wasn't full of fear and I was trying to act normal but you know it it gets worse over time now maybe you have that too that's common for people with trauma and not only did I feel ashamed for having fear but I was double ashamed because whatever normal people were doing to achieve this Fearless State they said they lived in I didn't understand what they were even talking about and to this day some of the things that non-traumatized people say about how to do life make no sense to me I tried them and you know nothing happened I didn't change the things that I learned it just didn't touch the distress in me so much distress the lack of confidence that would keep me isolated and defensive and knowing on some level that I was locked out of my own life and then I found out how to get free and in this video I'm going to tell you how to do it and I want you to have hope about this because healing from the past gets so much easier when you can move some of this fear out of your thinking and your nervous system and your emotions and your beliefs about yourself in the world and start to have some room within yourself for something real and solid and new I love newness newness is like my favorite thing so I'm going to tell you how to get free of fear what to do to release anxiety and panic and to slowly gain more confidence to get out there and try things and meet people and enjoy yourself while also taking care of yourself and it may be easier than you think even though I know very well having PTSD from childhood is hard and when symptoms are happening being around people is so stressful it's so tense and that used to drive my whole life before I learned what to do I was terrified I didn't think anyone knew it mostly they didn't I had a mask on of being tough and funny and confident and you know H I don't care but if people stuck around for a while they'd eventually see that facade fall away because the fear comes and gets you and it leaks out or it floods in and it makes you laugh cash out or pull away or feel desperate and one way or the other that fear comes and ruins everything so you learn to keep your feelings hidden and your life very small and when you do that one of the consequences is other people can't see you you don't express yourself so they don't really know who you are they don't see your boundaries they can't be aware that you need support and love they can't fully love you and you can't fully love either because you can't love love when you're suppressing and second-guessing so many parts of yourself so you can't become you and if you're living a false life you're probably angry at yourself and that's a lot of the anger that comes rushing out in birst sometimes with childhood PTSD you need to be seen you need to love and be loved and it won't work to deal with fear by shutting yourself down so maybe for you it's going on right now you've lost track of how you really feel maybe you're vulnerable anxious all the time you doubt your perception you resort to avoidance or people pleasing or living in a fantasy that love is going to find you in the future but you can't see the path between you now and a time when you're free of that trauma driven fear and good things can happen to you and the worst thing about fear and I don't mean I don't mean the useful kind of fear that gets you out of danger or helps you to be realistic I mean the kind of fear that keeps you trapped in your mind and worried about random possibilities in the future tripping about what people are thinking about you or what they're about to do fearing you're not good enough this kind of fear is essentially a fantasy and living in a fantasy means you're not living in reality and that's a problem because reality is where you need to show up if you want to actually love people and be loved and feel good about yourself and solve real problems in the world living in a scared fantasy that everything's bad and people are bad and you can never change this means you're not really here and if you feel like your life is passing you by this could be why this was definitely what was happening for me there was this one day and my whole life is divided between the time before that day and then the time after that day and what happened was this woman I knew asked if I wanted her to show me how to get rid of fear and it's it's kind of funny because I needed this so badly this is an experience I talk about in my online courses so some of you may have heard this but she offered to show me and believe it or not I was Defensive I felt insulted that she thought I had fear because I didn't quite understand then that fear was what was driving me almost 100% of the time back then and other people could see it I was walking around terrified all the time basically that any moment people were gonna pull away from me for reasons I couldn't predict I wouldn't know or maybe I was inappropriate somehow or I hurt their feelings or I was too needy or I don't know maybe I was awful and having my brain and emotions disregulated all the time because of my own childhood PTSD made it hard for me to just know what was what or to be aware of my effect on other people or to act appropriately I could see it by the expressions sometimes on other people's faces and I'd be like did I just say something wrong and that's one of the hardest things about the effects of early trauma is you don't know you don't have a normal sense of when it's you that's being weird or when it's everybody else so I had these huge deficiencies in that part of my perception we had alcoholism in the family I didn't get a lot of guidance about what was appropriate what was definitely not okay I didn't know I was loved somewhat but the love and guidance I got went up and down kind of randomly and like a lot of kids of Alcoholics when they get into their teens or 20s I would see love where there was no love I I wanted love and approval but it was always sort of getting away from me I could not see red flags in other people so I got hurt a lot again and again and that's what I carried into adulthood I'd get really shut down and I'd pretend to be easygoing but I had an angry Edge and that meant I was afraid all the time about anger leaking out randomly and ruining everything right when I was trying to make a friend or do a really good job on something but the anger came out and every little bit of progress in my life would be followed by some big failure and falling out with people have you had this fear you're one step away from blowing at all at work or fear your relationship is hanging by a thread or fear you'll never find anyone or if you do they'll make your life miserable like the last one and fear you're not pretty enough and fear you're too damaged and fear this is the big one fear you'll be alone forever even if the details are different here and there for you childhood PTSD has a fairly predictable pattern for all of us and in a culture that keeps telling you that you should just somehow not be afraid the worst fear of all is that you're not like other people you can't stop the fear and somehow it's all on you to figure it out make it better so I have good news you don't have to live like this you are not broken forever and in fact under all that fear you have a real self inside who knows exactly who you are and what you came to do in this world you know that you've always known that this is what happened to you and this is you and what's overwhelming you is not so much what happened to you but it's all the fear about what that means for you fear it's a terrible World fear you'll be damaged forever fear no one cares whatever it is the thing that happened is over all that your fear about what it means lives on and this fear is not your friend this fear is consuming and limiting and until you get free it's like a belief system that oh yeah you're one of the abuse people and that is what you are the abuse and neglect happened but they are not you you are not damaged forever you are not broken you are not pitiful you are not a magnet for crazy people you are not your trauma your story began a long time before what happened happened and it will go on a long time and after you get free it'll keep going on and this way of getting free that I'm going to show you I'm going to do it it's very gentle it works over time it's free of cost and you get to keep control over the process so maybe you've tried it or maybe you've just heard me talk about it in other videos it's the twin techniques called The Daily practice that's what I call them the first technique is a very specific way of writing to release fearful and resentful thoughts and feelings and in this practice we lump all distressed thoughts and feelings under these two rough categories fear and resentment and then we write the last part of this exercise where you actually release them you ask for them to be removed if you're somebody uh who believes you have some kind of a higher power and then you follow that with a simple form of meditation that anyone can do that helps you kind of come back together after all that release now it would take me almost an hour to teach this to you in this video and I've already made very thorough videos on exactly how to do it and I probably can't explain it to you as well as I did in those videos so I'm going to point you to it at the end of this video it's a free course you can learn and try it in less than an hour and you can see if you find that it gives you emotional relief and a little bit more mental Clarity those two things really add up if you do them daily you can do it just as a one-time thing but if you do do it twice a day every day like I teach the results can be huge and some people try it and think eh but some people take to it like a fish to water like I did 30 years ago when I was in such a bad place and my friend showed this to me I did get over my my pride I let her show me and I'm so glad I did once you take this course you'll be invited to free Zoom calls that my team and I lead every week at different times different days it's all free sensible people don't automatically believe people like me on YouTube who say they have some techniques that can help them right there's only one way to find out if it's helpful for you and you can do that right now if you like by clicking right here and I will see you very soon [Music]

Channel: Crappy Childhood Fairy

Views: 71,678

Keywords:

Id: Jlccxj9vcq4

Length: 13min 12sec (792 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 25 2024