How To Effortlessly Defend Yourself In Any Argument

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we've all had conversations that started out friendly then suddenly turned into an argument that made us feel attacked the other person twists your words and uses little tricks to try to make you look dumb so today we're going to break down a conversation just like that between Andrew Tate and Piers Morgan to show you how to defend yourself in any argument even if the other person is determined to make you look bad I don't know why you're trying to come at me it was one of his views and pretend that's something it was a pretty big view no but it's it's a lame trick Pierce this video is not endorsing either of these people it's simply an analysis to teach you the tactics some people use to assert dominance in an argument the first step to defending yourself from a conversational bully is to spot when they enter fight mode there's some obvious tells like if someone starts shouting or repeatedly cutting you off but there's a subtler tell as well you can see an example of it in this next clip where Piers shows he's there to argue with Andrew not to understand him I want to play you just a clip off the top this is from Joe Rogan he's somebody I absolutely love sure and I think it explains to me what my what I presume my issue with you is going to be right correct and you you have absolutely got the right to try and persuade me otherwise sure there's actually two towels here if someone labels you or an idea you stand by as an issue or problematic that's a good indicator that they've switched into fight mode or if they want to argue with you before asking you to explain your point of view if that happens you should start being wary of conversational traps one of the most common traps is misquoting you misquoting you makes it easier for the other person to feel like they're dominating you because they're attacking a straw man instead of your actual views this sounds like it would be easy to catch but sometimes it only takes a small tweak to your words to make a big impact on their meaning if you aren't paying attention you may not notice the small tweak for example listen to Andrew respond when Piers asks him what is your opinion of Alex Jones after meeting him he was professional and courteous to me when I meet somebody and they show me respect I show them back respect that's what I do as I dig with you you respect him I if somebody shows me respect I show them respect so I don't know I don't know if Hitler says you respect you'd respect him back there is a huge difference between showing someone respect by being polite versus having respect for them and their ideas Andrew even catches this at first but Piers is persistent in establishing that straw man well I'm not I'm taking your position that if somebody shows you respect you respect them I think that I'm saying there are lots of people in the world I do not respect if Vladimir Putin showed me in respect I would not respect him but that's your opinion but no it's my view okay that's your view well your view is you would you can see Piers is trying to force a view upon Andrew that he doesn't actually believe so you have to be careful not to let someone misquote you or you may find yourself defending a belief that upon reflection you don't even have luckily there is a simple solution for this if you're aware of it re-establish your own point of view before you defend it you talk about people don't want to see men dressed up in dressy transgender that's not exactly what I said what did you say I said the reason I am so popular and I'm so famous is that there's a large contingent of men who don't want to wear makeup who still want to make money go to the gym be strong drive a fast car be traditionally masculine and don't want to be shamed for that and they don't want to be called toxic for that now if you do start to make good points in an argument you'll have to watch out for this next trick derailing interruptions this is when someone tries to interrupt you before you can establish your strongest points you're taking these sentences and on repeat using to what you're weaponizing them against me I'm not weaponizing anything okay it's fine no the more weaponizing the weaponizing it doesn't exist no problem but you said to me come on bring it on this can be frustrating you see in that clip that the interruptions are starting to bother Andrew luckily there's three ways you can handle being interrupted the first trick is to pause acknowledge the person then return to the point you were making all I've done is literally read out all the things we identified from all the research that I thought were blatantly misogynist and giving you the chance to respond and the only type I've interrupted you is when you've tried to answer a completely different question understood peers the but these things were said Andrew reclaims the conversation after he looks appears in the eye and says understood appears you can even see a little smile and Pierce his eyes after that's because most people in an argument crave to feel heard and understood here's another example you can steal this line word for word if you want to acknowledge someone without agreeing with them this time Piers even makes a little positive noise after Andrew acknowledges him I don't think so and I think your view of that is that view is dangerous I I respect that you think my view is dangerous and I respect you have the right to view that to think that that line is a nice way to remain connected with someone without giving ground you don't agree with it makes the other person feel heard and that disarms their need to attack now once someone has established a pattern of interrupting you the next thing you can do is preempt their Interruption here's an example and this is actually what's interesting and please don't interrupt me on this point social media has changed in modern times you can even see Pierce's body language change as he disengages to respect Andrew's request if the person continues to interrupt you you can call it out with a one-finger stop gesture oh no let's stop for a second please don't interrupt me the here's why you're I know why you're good at your job first you interrupt people a lot which is good it's a good skill I believe in marriage more than anybody I believe in marriage and no please I believe in marriage in the traditional sense now on the flip side you also want to avoid the Trap of being the interrupter especially if someone is responding to a point you've made don't steamroll concessions there were a few times where peers actually made a good point but he interrupts so much that Andrew can't even agree with him so what you did say at the start of this little exchange you said you know I wouldn't maybe say things the same way now that I did before I was famous and yet actually you've doubled done it's exactly the same thing on certain points so that is what you believe that's my point yes I'm trying to work out look I don't know you we've just met right Team Rolling concessions prevents you from reaching common ground with the person you're talking to if there's anyone else listening it also makes it harder for them to register that you've made a good point here's one more example so you can see what not to do well I think my sister is my her husband's property yes because fundamentally I don't believe a man owns a woman you do well I don't think a man owns any sovereign individual I don't think we live in the world of slavery I don't own any men or any woman right nobody owns it when you use phrases like property that's what you imply and so my point again is you're a smart guy we start to interrupt people when we are the ones that enter fight mode if you can stay calm in an argument you're much less likely to cut people off in steamroll concessions one great trick for staying common an argument is to physically relax into the argument purposely release any tense muscles and take deep belly breaths this will signal to your brain that you are safe and you don't need to enter fight or flight staying calm also lets you think more clearly so you're more likely to catch any logical gaps that the person tries to sneak by you like the name suggests this is a moment where there is a gap in the logic of their argument here's the most obvious example from this conversation what is your view of Alex Jones I think that Alex Jones is a sovereign individual who very much like the Rabid left deserves a chance to speak on his points of view I think that the truth on issues is usually somewhere in the middle between two extremes and I think do you think Sandy Hook was staged The Logical leap from the truth is somewhere in the middle to so you think Sandy Hook was staged is obvious but not every logic app is as easy to pick up on in real time the key is to remember the premise of someone's argument this is easy to do if we break things down a little for example take a listen appears here it was also I think quite a disturbing piece the BuzzFeed did and he talked about the the negative impact of young impressionable male Minds when they've read or seen some of the more inflammatory things you've said what is the premise of Piers argument it's that Andrew is dangerous because of his impact on impressionable young minds now listen to what Pierce says immediately after that and they quoted for example Sandy uh 22 from Washington my father's gone from a man who minded in women's studies in college he was kind and in touch with his emotions treated all people men and women around him and kindness to a man who says that whenever he sees an effeminate male stranger he gets an overwhelming urge to murder did you catch the Gap in the argument did you say that my father went she said my father has my father that's a full-grown man firstly so we're talking about my impact on children you just talked about full-grown man here now so far we've discussed how to engage with someone who's being combative but sometimes an argument goes into an area you're not comfortable with and you don't want to engage with them at all when that happens you have every right to draw a conversational boundary for example watch Piers try to get Andrew to share about his personal life if you've ever been in love yeah how many times oh plenty I believe in love between men and women I'm a real love you know yeah I believe how many times would you say enough Andrew tries to move on but Pierce circles back a few seconds later how many women have you loved I don't know Pierce a few give me a Bullpup 5 10 20. let's let's say you don't forget how many people you've been in love with it's a strange line of questioning and peers just will not give it up so finally listen to Andrew draw a boundary I believe in family I believe in children I believe in if you believe in family and children and love yeah why are you single I'm not single well you're not married that's what I mean well if I was married the last thing I would do is advertise it to the feral Psychopaths on the internet most people aren't comfortable being that direct so they try to change the topic indirectly it's much more effective to simply draw a boundary and let someone know that a topic is off limits that doesn't mean you have to shout or get confrontational it can be as simple as saying I'm not comfortable talking about that so now you know how to see and avoid some common conversational traps when things get heated but how do you turn things around and get back to a friendly positive conversation one way is to purposely acknowledge any common ground for example there was a moment in the conversation when Andrew was talking about getting the platform from social media and he starts to lose his cool listen to how Piers gets him out of fight mode by establishing common ground when they attacked me they lump a whole bunch of things in together they say misogynistic racist transphobic they just put them all together around a unmixed race by the way I don't know where they get these they just get these buzzwords I completely agree it's crazy and I've had the same thing done to me okay and I'm not calling you anything I'm asking you what you personally believe you are the important thing here is that you are genuine and that comes not just in your words but in your tone of voice listen appears here for a good example a lot of what you say I agree with yeah right I do genuinely I've read a lot I've done a lot of stuff you said a lot of the stuff you talk about I think he's got a good point right something agree about a lot of things but when I read that kind of thing I'm like I just how much of that is you how much of that is some ACT do you regret saying stuff like this now our final advice today is actually something you won't see in the conversation with piers and Andrew and its absence is one of the biggest reasons that the conversation was so combative and so unproductive give yourself permission to change your mind this is something Andrew seems to view as a bad thing you can hear him talk about it here that's why that's why I've repeatedly asked you about that line to see if you've changed your position but the reality is you haven't it's not about changing positions I'm a full-grown adult and I stick by the things I say and I'm responsible for them if you view changing your mind is a bad thing a sign of weakness or being a flip-flopper then of course you'll never change your mind or even when you do you'll do what Andrew does and try to make all the things you've said in the past fit your new beliefs for building Fame online maybe that's what's required Andrew is certainly world classic getting famous but in your own life give yourself the gift of permission to change your opinion to say that you don't agree with everything your past self thought that freedom will allow you to be happier and to grow now publicly changing your mind is much easier said than done it takes 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beginning the program I have seen noticeable changes in my life it has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it I never expected such remarkable outcomes from a simple online routine this course completely changed my mindset on how to approach people and think about myself it is undoubtedly made a significant impact on my life if you're interested in a 30-day program to become more confident and more charismatic you can click the link on screen now or in the description below either way I hope you enjoyed today's video and I'll see you in the next one
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Channel: Charisma on Command
Views: 4,114,243
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Keywords: Tags: charisma on command, charismaoncommand, coc, charlie houpert, charisma, andrew tate, piers morgan, andrew tate piers morgan, andrew tate debate, piers morgan debate, how to win an argument, stand your ground, how to handle conflict, how to handle conflict interview question, piers morgan andrew t, piers morgan andrew, andrew t, tate, how to argue effectively, how to debate like a pro, how to win any debate, charisma on command debate, piers morgan uncensored uk
Id: XGVUHPl4YuI
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Length: 11min 42sec (702 seconds)
Published: Mon Oct 17 2022
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