How to derive Strength from Adversity | Sa’diyya Nesar | TEDxHKU

good afternoon before the pandemic i had a plan to show up in my wheelchair on stage to show how things were different for me how i don't have the option of taking public transport and how i need my father to drive me everywhere and that before traveling i need to question every single thing question whether my health can take it whether i can access the venue whether is even worth it but now with the threat of cloven 19 we all have to think twice before traveling before the pandemic most would start their day thinking that nothing would get in their way but the virus pushes us all to face our vulnerabilities as human beings right now it's not safe for a lot with disabilities to go out not alone travel but what is pressing for us now is that when infected with the virus we have the voice louder that we are worthy to be treated no matter the high rise in cases or us having a most survival rate our voices are getting burned even more merely because of disability being a part of us new york times published an article in march titled whose life is worth saving and that goes with disabilities are afraid of not making the cut i'm afraid of not making the cut i'm from the vulnerable group the group with pre-existing health conditions i was born with a disability this vulnerability is part of my origin when i was one i was diagnosed with myopic all of my muscles are weak including my heart and lung muscles that before traveling i need to charge my breathing machine and not be full to avoid breathing difficulties this is not to complain but just illustrate part of my origin that i'm a human being with a disability origin by definition means the starting point it is a source for us to derive something for the eventual rise it is not our end seal faint or doom which brings the question are those with disabilities able to derive anything substantial besides pain and hardship can we rise and bloom from our origins when i was six i could barely run my muscles were weak but i wanted to be part of sports day i was carefree and curious to try new things but i could not jump i could not race when starting to run my classmates already reached the finish line my heart sunk but i pushed myself forward and took in a lot of stairs stands from other parents stand from older kids stands from peers i knew that i was different but i did not understand the attention strangers would say ah look at her she walks like a penguin how cute then didn't walk away and say what's wrong with her i know that i walked differently it was more of a wobble but i can't change the way i walk it's the only way i can walk i took part on sports day to learn and grow my judgments find me in darkness my darkest moments in life were actually at the hospital during childhood i was hospitalized every other year for months by the age of nine i was already hospitalized five times my heart and lungs are not only meat they're also underdeveloped and because of this i easily caught pneumonia pneumonia led to the buildup of phlegm in my lungs that during one hospital stay one of my lungs eventually to laugh ever since then i wear a breathing machine whenever i lie down once when i was finding it really hard at the hospital my mom told me that there are always more forms of ease to aid you with that one hardship back then i honestly didn't understand my mom but later in life i got to see like before my senior year of high school i had to go through an 18 hour long spinal surgery my spine was too weak to support my body and doctors had to figure out how to ventilate my lungs during the surgery just to prevent it from collapsing because of this there was a 20 survival rate and a high risk of getting paralyzed but then there were a team of doctors a team of nurses physiotherapists and occupational therapists a community of loved ones that came during visiting hours and a lot of medical devices to help me there were more forms of ease to tackle this hard reality the reality where i was bound to the hospital bed and pushed to ask myself where do i go from here two weeks after the surgery i could stand and a week later i walked home but even after fully recovering some discouraged me to study they would say you don't need to try what's the point or it's a shame if you pass because you cannot really use your education out of frustration i say that is not useless if i study but whenever i voiced they say no no you misunderstand but i know i did not misunderstand or they say you're being sensitive because you're disabled but i know that i was being rational my disability was used against me used to deflect their judgments used to look down on me this burning me then i once asked my mother why do some believe that those with disabilities cannot achieve or do anything of value my mother said that you're experiencing bias and that graduating from university will solve everything so i studied for my iv exam but my career counselor inspired me to apply to university she said that i might get sick and because of this we'll miss out a lot and will probably never be able to graduate it turns out during my ivy studies i actually got sick for six months so i really didn't look like the words of my career counselor were proving true i thought to myself do i even have a future at any university in hong kong only one percent of young adults with a disability get into higher education statistics were against me but my family encouraged me my teacher applied for my exam extensions my uncle applied for my university applications my mom assisted me with some of my notes and my father brought me to school and back home so that i would have more time to rest they were the forms of ease to my hardship my only focus was to complete my exams exam results day later came i was too scared to check my results that i asked my parents to do so on my behalf i thought that my mother's facial expression would give it away if i failed so i stared at her waiting for a reaction my heart was pacing out of control at this point on the inside i was like my heart is already under development so i have mercy my mom smiled but i was not sure if it was out of good news or if he was trying to find the words to comfort me i was waiting for her words but she touched my hand extended her arms wrapped them around mine into a hug and said you got in i got an offer for the university of hong kong at university there was a course called understanding people with disabilities i obviously have to take that course i mean among potential students who understands a person with a disability more than a student with a disability right in that course we were taught the social model of disability this theory states that those with physical disabilities face physical barriers and barriers from the attitudes of people these include probably not being able to access a building or being talked down at this theory suggests that those with disabilities are not the problem but rather than we disability is perceived that's the problem this perception is shown through different tools and gestures for example one can say to a person with a disability why are you even here shouldn't you be at home we would normally not talk to someone without a disability this way so how and why is it okay to talk to someone with a disability this way these attitudes are derogatory it can lead those with disabilities to feel like they don't belong like they don't have a voice we are labeled and voiceless disability studies led me to see that no human likes to experience bias because it's harmful and it violates the dignity and vulnerability of any human being this awareness led me to further embrace my whole self once we understand and embrace how we feel once we don't question if it's okay to take part in something once we look at our origin as a strength we can hear our voice and rise after graduating i still went through bias so graduating enough solved everything i went through bias no matter the amount of articles i wrote speaking engagements and community work i did rather whenever taking part in something more of my vulnerabilities kept getting exposed whether it was through physical challenges documents or even right now with epidemic but i've learned that having our vulnerabilities exposed is not bad because it is through our vulnerabilities we get to derive from our experiences a lot more i realize this when writing poetry i am at my most vulnerable when writing poetry because this is when my raw feelings are exposed i write poetry to cope to understand the world around me to understand how i feel it is through poetry i derive from my experiences poetry is the ease to my hardships because it's how i get to hear my voice hear my inner child the child that helped me took part on sports day the child that did nothing twice poetry is how i channel my human experience it's how i don't remain worried that today i'll leave you with a point voices of the underground buried and thought to have no sound left in darkness without light told to stay out of sight cracked open with little care why do people just walk and stare roots are forming letters grow we are meant for more than their size and walls life storms may press us down but that does not mean stay burning all year round we are seeing that crack to grow we have petals that are meant for show we just have to make sure to voice embrace our origins with rejoice not feel ashamed of who we are hear our inner child that laughs to heal scars this is when we can rise and bloom voices of the underground are not meant for doom thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 307

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Disability, Discrimination, English, Life, Potential, Purpose, Social Justice, TEDxTalks, Vulnerability

Id: sQjfGoV7TEQ

Length: 17min 53sec (1073 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 14 2021