How To Bounce Back From Pain & Use It For Your Greatest Growth | Vishen Lakhiani

when you take that suffering and you figure out the scan that it's gonna give you and you figure out how to take that scan and put it into your light mission the suffering disappears that baggage that you're carrying that wound on your soul disappears this is the second biggest gathering we've had the last biggest gathering was in Tallinn Estonia we had an and this one was insane how many few were there Tallinn Estonia so we had a thousand 100 people this was an experiment a thousand 100 people moved to a city for one month with their families and we created basically our own community within the city took over the biggest conference center brought in around 100 different teachers tossed the biggest parties in the city had some of the most prominent people in Estonia take the stage from rockstars to the woman who is about to become prime minister she just won the election and we created this huge personal growth community for a month it it started because of the daringness of the people in the mine valley community I mean how many people decide that they want to break this idea that you stay rooted in one place for the rest of your life and these people decided that they want to spend one month every year with their kids in a completely different city and see the world so so grateful that we have you guys who want to go beyond just learning online and are actually taking really bold steps to come together connect in community in growth and in that process make ourselves better and better so that we can do a best job for the world so anyway thank you guys for coming all the way here we have a quarter million students on our mind Olli online programs we have two thousand two thousand of our most active students including you guys who show up in the real world and you guys are our best students so please give yourselves a round of applause so I like I like to start reunion with just my own feelings on personal growth and and share with you what I learned over the last one year as Mia said I like to travel meet interesting people and then connect with them understand what processes they're going through their way of seeing the world via methodologies for healing or growth integrate that within my life some work some don't work and dos that work I like to bring it back to the world and magnify and in this last year I've been meditating on two rules I really wanted to figure out if I could sit my son down and explain to Hayden what did the two overriding philosophies that are going to make him truly live life I'm not talking about success I think that's a BS term that education systems tell us we should chase at the expense of everything else I'm talking about just being human living life and I find that these two rules are the ones that I feel most drawn to now before I get to the two rules you must understand this really key idea a lot of people outside MindValley don't get this but this is a particularly powerful idea that will help you grow it's the idea of the difference between transformation and learning so that can you guys guess which kid is me in that picture that's my mom we are standing in a river I guess somewhere in Malaysia oh I guess a freak flood happened I don't remember I'm the kid in blue the rest I don't have any brothers or sisters so the rest are my cousins so my mom was a public school teacher in Malaysia she was actually the best English teacher in Malaysia which is why I speak English unlike most Malaysians with with a more international accent so I was really really grateful to have a mom who was a public school teacher because she instilled in me the love for learning and I did well as a student I would go to school I would get good grades having a mom as a teacher meant you could not slack on your homework so good grades were like really important to me but most of what I learned in school I later forgot most of what I learned in university at the University of Michigan I later forgot that is learning learning is temporary you can learn facts you can learn figures but you forget them transformation on the other hand is beyond learning transformation is what is missing from our education system transformation is the idea that you start seeing the world in a radically different way transformation is going from the beliefs of your religion or your culture or the beliefs instilled in you by your parents and then realizing that there are other ways of viewing the world and the unique thing about transformation is that once your mind expands it can never again shrink to its original size once you understand that aging is optional you can never again go back to the old you once you understand that you can succeed in life through love and compassion you can never again go back to greed once you understand that love can be painful but it's part of the journey and it's one of the most fulfilling things a human being can experience you never again fear relationships and so transformation is what mine Valley is about transformation is what we're trying to get in schooling systems and now companies around the world and so thanks to this community that has been so engrossed in transformation going through our programs on the mine valley app we're slowly true you guys being pulled in different businesses and companies a couple of mine value reunion students last year from Finland pulled us into schools in Finland so some 700 200 to 700 Finnish students took Jim quicks quest and we found that six months later eighty percent of them saw there a persistent great increase thanks to other people in this room we got invited to speak at Google we just got invited to speak at Microsoft and to bring our programs into these companies and what we're really trying to do here is patch that gap in the education system that emphasize learning and standardized testing and certificates rather than truly teaching us how to see the world in a unique way so you got to understand schools can teach you biology but they can teach you to basically live to be a hundred and fifty by slowing down aging schools can teach you the can teach you values in some way but they can't teach you Tru truly tap into your spiritual core and really that is what we are seeking to do at this event and through the mind value system so how do you Spock transformation the funny thing is this right transformation is initiated by two things so for most people in the world transformation comes true cause number one a disorienting dilemma which means BAM life comes and hits you you go bankrupt but through that you learn what to do to make your next business successful you end up in hospital but true that you learn how to take better care of your health that is transformation through pain but there's also transformation through what is called gradual accumulation of evolving meaning schema and that sounds so boring but it basically means this you start seeing the world in a new way because of the people you meet because of the books you read autobiographies curated communities like this spark the second type of transformation it's slower it's slower but it's a lot more beautiful it's a lot more joyous now the problem though is that both these forms of transformation don't happen at a rapid pace most people go through suffering to transform and most people they are evolving meaning schema there are visions their world views evolve very very very slowly because they are stuck with the same community they are stuck in that same city so here's what it looks like when you put it together first the disorienting dilemma right the Rumi said wound is the place where the light enters and I love that quote the disorienting dilemma is what all of us experience in our life that forces us to growth Rumi also said you who cannot take a good rub how will you ever become a polished gem isn't that beautiful so the disorienting dilemma is a really really really powerful idea so powerful that Google did a study and they found this so this is an extract from a book called called exponential organisations Google in it says Google recently demonstrated that it's best employees were not Ivy League students but rather young people who had experienced a big loss in their lives and had been able to transform that experience into growth according to google deep personal loss has resulted in employees who are more humble and open to listening and learning that's crazy right Google literally found that when you go that their employees who are the best employees are ones who have gone through some form of suffering how many of you here can recognize that idea of suffering because you've gone through it and you've been merged from that fire as a better person so congratulations turns out it's part of life and now you're eligible for Google so um the second thing is evolve meaning schema over time so a both meaning schema over time is what personal growth is about evolve meaning schema over time means that we are engaged in this process of growing and evolving ourselves but when you put them both together for the average person transformation is unpredictable and slow because we have to wait for that suffering or it's slow because we are developing this evolve meaning schema in a slow accumulation over time our goal is to accelerate that to get you guys to make that leap that's why you're here that's what this event is about it's about making a rapid leap into transformation so what I want to share with you are these two rules but to understand these rules we must give you a road map road maps are really beautiful because they show you how to get to where you want to go faster and the road map we're gonna use is this idea from Abraham Maslow any of you guys familiar with this so Maslow created this pyramid called the Pyramid of human needs and the yellow line points to love and belonging all of us need love and belonging we need our tribes we need our societies we need our family we need to feel like we are part of something bigger but once you have that fulfilled once you are no longer lonely your needs evolve then next need that we go to is esteem esteem is really interesting esteem is what our education system is educating us to do esteem is when you care about your career progression you care about that fancy car you care about recognition from your boss you care about having looking really good in Lululemon yoga pants that's esteem now the funny thing is most people because of society hardwires into this most people when they go through personal growth it is esteem that they are looking for but here's the thing when you start going deeper and deeper and deeper into personal growth it's no longer about your yoga ass or your promotion or about the recognition you get to something called self-actualization this is where the magic happens self-actualization is the idea that you grow for the sake of growth it is your growth that motivates you not external validation this is where we want to take people this is where you want to take your children not growing for someone else's opinion growing because as a soul you know that you know that the human experience is here we are here in human bodies to learn and to grow but there's a level of birth there so the funny thing is when Abraham Maslow first published a pyramid he stopped at self-actualization later he went back to his work and said he missed a level and that level is what we call self transcendence self transcendence I want you to take a moment and try to guess what you think this is okay self transcendence is the idea that you go beyond yourself that your growth is important yes but you're gonna use that growth you're gonna use that fit body that incredible mind those connections you have that powerful cognitive ability to put together ideas to go forth and fix the world self transcendence is a really powerful idea it means that we are not here just to be our best selves we are here to be ourselves and fix the world fix the world around you so that our children inherit a better world and what we did they is what nine valley is about so if you are trying to explain what nine valley does we're beyond learning we're getting to transformation and the the highest level of transformation is where it is not about that's higher salary or the great body or looking good or someone else's validation it's about just like people on the spiritual part your growth is what is important to you and you're using that growth to fuel your desire to fix the world so let's go deeper into two of these right and I want to bring some ideas from some previous speakers who were here last year at Reunion self-actualization achieving your full potential Shree Kamara took the stage at reunion last year how many of you here remember Rao in his speech so after that speech Rao got off the stage he went back there where where I was sitting and he said vision so loved this community and I'm so glad at what you guys are doing because MBA programs suck and I'm like what do you mean because Rao is one of the top MBA you know teachers in America he says they don't teach us what matters and I said what matters and he says what we gotta learn in our schools is this we gotta learn that your business is not about your business if your business gets a billion dollars who cares the question is did you grow if your business fails who cares the question is did you grow and then I quote him he said your business is nothing more than a vehicle for your personal growth so that gives us rule one your thing is not about your thing rather your thing is nothing more than a vehicle for your personal growth Rao extends that your children are not about your children your children our vehicle for your personal growth your relationship in your marriage is not about your relationship in your marriage it's about your personal growth and your business in your career is about your personal growth rule one liberates you rule one makes you realize that failure is fine because what is failure suffering and what does suffering do it makes you freaking awesome so when you embrace rule 1 when you embrace rule 1 you never forget who you truly are a soul here on a learning opportunity and we learn true success and we learn through failure rule 1 is the essence of self-actualization so I want to teach you a word Rose your rate of self evolution I love that word rose because I just finished watching the little prince on Netflix anyone seen that or read the book so anyway Rose is a character in that book Rho stands for rate of self evolution this is one of the biggest markers of how good you're gonna do at life if you want to get into a relationship with someone make sure you find someone who is growing their rose if you want to raise great kids make sure you raise kids who are growing their rose if you want to succeed at life make sure you're growing your rose you're growing your rate of self evolution which means you are spending that time every day to nurture yourself to heal your body to meditate to go to the gym to learn how to learn to get better at life to engage in personal growth and not just do the nine-to-five like everyone else so write that down rose and ask yourself this question every morning how am I gonna grow my rose today now the second rule comes from this idea self transcendence and the second rule also stemmed from a mine valley teacher whom you Sean saw on stage last year his name was Neil Donald Walsh any of you guys remember Neil reunion last year I know you guys loved his speech you gave him incredible ratings so that picture was taken at mine Val University in Barcelona back then it was 300 people not like a thousand 100 Neil gave a 2-day workshop and somewhere in that workshop one of you and the person may even be in the room I don't know raised her hand and said Neil what do I do if I wake up every day and I just feel sad and I feel depressed and I feel worried and Neil said I'm gonna give you one word of advice and what he said then sounded a little bit it sounded a little bit too too in-your-face or to like unsympathetic he said this he said I want you to remember that your life is not about you rather your life is about the lives of everyone you touch when you walk into a room you don't walk into that room you walk into that room to heal the room and when you make your life beyond you you will stop waking up sad and depressed that leads us to rule 2 your life is not about you rather your life is about the lives of everyone you touch so I want to teach you a little trick that we do in our mind by the office it's called a snapping finger trick if you agree with any of these philosophies that I'm gonna share and integrate just snap your finger okay okay so this this gives me like a auditory clue that I'm on the right track if you disagree with me just stay silent about it just just critique me in your head okay so rule to your life is not about you rather your life is about the lives of everyone you touch I share these two rules with you because I want everyone in a community to get to self-transcendence only when we see ourselves in unity can we truly go forth and create a better world and you're gonna find that self transcendence is an underlying theme and everything about 9 value and everything about what we do with this conference this is why you will see that we are bringing Marianne Williamson on stage I mean she she's all about that she's kicking people's ass to be activists and one of the new rules that we've established in mind valley is that the authors that we bring on must stand for something they must stand for something greater than just their learning if you are teaching health don't just teach help take on the food companies that lie to people about sugar and so so on Adia Judit stand up please under there that's Ana de adjudant so Ana Day is coming online Valley and she ste any anyone you guys have probably heard about Adia thank you on Adia so Ana day as one of the top writers on energy on on human energy body and chakras and I met her in Sausalito about 18 months ago and we met in a cafe and I was trying to figure out if we should work with on a day and she handed me her business card can I tell the story and her business card said activist and immediately I connected with her and I showed her my business card which said CEO activists on Adia cares greatly about the ecology and and global warming and I want to work with teachers like that because I because if you're just teaching people how to get a better body or how to succeed that their career you're operating at the self esteem level that isn't the highest level of Maslow we want teachers who move you to give a damn and that's why we work with nano daya and that's the new rule for all the teachers we bring on MindValley you have a stand and if you don't it's cool that we want people who have a stand snap if you agree so likewise we want you guys to have a stand what do you stand for what is it that you can turn as your purpose so that you can go forward and fix the world this is a question that puzzles so many people and it puzzled me for a while as well and I understood the answer when over the years talking to many people I realized that the answer actually comes from our wounding the clue for your mission for how you're about to go forth and fix the world comes from your wounding let's go back to what Rumi said the wound is the place where light enters think back to a time that you would deeply hurt maybe you were arrested something you didn't do maybe you had an abusive partner maybe you had an abusive schoolteacher maybe you were treated unkindly that wounding is often our souls way of giving us a marker for what we are meant to do in the world you can take that wounding and turn it into your mission you can take what is it that hurt you and use that to fix the world so let me give you an idea of how you would do this process and I want to share the story with you guys some of you guys know this story but for those of you who don't it's the story of why mine Bali is mine Bali so when I first started mine Valley I started it in New York and everything was going good I've been living in the u.s. I was born in Malaysia I had been living in the US for nine years and I loved America and I really really really was excited about settling here and creating a life here and then September 11 happen and all of us remember September 11 I was in Berkeley at that time we never forget the images on TV but it was what happened after September 11 that really rocked my life around 18 months after September 11 I was living in New York and I was running a beautiful office space over there and I was the director of sales for a dot-com and my dot-com the guys who ran it there were superbly incredible patriotic Americans they wanted to open a beautiful office in New York they were based in San Fran and help boost the New York economy helped create jobs so I was there hiring people and creating this incredible company and then one day I show up at JFK Airport and I get called aside and I'm told that I can no longer just enter the country I've been added to what back then was called the special registration watch lists around 72,000 men who were born in Muslim countries were added to that watch list it didn't matter if you are Muslim or not not that that matters I'm brown and I don't shave sometimes so I could look Arab or Afghani or whatever but what this meant is that I could no longer use certain airports and before getting on a plane I had to go for a two-hour interrogation getting off a plane I have to go through a two-hour interrogation but the worst was this even if I chose not to travel anywhere every 28 days I had to line up for four hours on this massive line massive line outside the government office in New York I remember it was January or February it was freaking cold the line was four blocks long and I had to report to the government to be fingerprinted to have my photograph taken and to give them my credit card so that my purchases could be tracked you know in case I bought fertilizer or something so I don't blame anyone and the immigration agents who process me there was such wonderful men and woman that you know they felt helpless to they felt it was wrong because was as American as day were we would talk about Michigan football we would you know talk about things and they enjoyed speaking to someone who was was so so familiar to them but it was painful for me and three months after that I decided I couldn't live in America anymore I still loved America but I couldn't live in the country if I was being forced to live like I was on parole and that's when I moved to Malaysia and that's when my suffering gave me my mission and that mission is not just education that mission is to unify the world which is why mine Valley in Kuala Lumpur now has people from 54 different countries working there because I want to create a world where we don't have to put people in boxes based on how they look or their skin color and and and I was so pissed off at what happened I was pissed off at the US government now it only lasted five years in 2008 President Obama ruled the whole thing unconstitutional and dismantled it so thank you Obama Trump wants to bring it back which is why and and I disagree with that I'm not gonna Billa Phi someone for having different political beliefs but I disagree with that and I disagree with border walls and I disagree with calling asylum seekers illegals and part of what we want to do at mine Valley is help push fought this idea of unity again the suffering leads to a vision so I want to share with you a video that we released last year when Trump announced the Muslim ban and many of you have seen this it's called standoff and this video will help you understand why we do what we do but we made this video because I went through suffering and I don't want my daughter growing up in the world where she would ever get labeled or ever get prevented from entering a country because of how she looks my daughter is half white half Indian so she looks Middle Eastern so I just wouldn't want her on a list watch this video [Music] we are going to build the wall [Music] I stand for love I stand for peace stand for unity education the environment equality I stand for Refugees [Music] in an age of dangerous politics don't let bullies force you to sit down to tell you you're being too political or unpatriotic when you speak your truth to tell you you can't stand tall or that you don't belong here speak up rise up unite into those who dare to stand [Music] so why do I play that video I'm not asking you to be political that video presented though a list of things that you could take a stand for I'll be cheek lbgtq rights women's rights refugees unity the environment and remember you don't have to build a business in that area we're in education business but mine value if you notice takes a firm stand for human unity in how we hire in how we present our events in the fact that everything we do is global it's human unity so you can have your business whether it is an auto mechanics or it's an engineering or it's software development or it's a barber shop but you can add a layer on it for something that you stand for and this is one of the best ways to take your suffering and turn it into a superpower so you can rise up the self transcendence I take a stand for unity because as I said my daughter is is a beautiful middle-eastern looking girl and I want to make sure that she doesn't grow up in a world that's gonna vilify her for how she looks so one of the things we are seeking to do at mine valley and this is something I'm super excited about yeah we're working on events and great tech but it's a concept called mimetic inoculation you guys have heard of how we can inoculate people against diseases right science has gotten there now I believe we need to look at how can we inoculate people against dumb ideas how can we inoculate people how can we how can we inoculate people against the BS from the food companies right that tell you they eat certain things the BS from companies like the Cola industry that market diet soda the gal of them to use the word diet when modern science shows the diet soda like basically messes with your gut bacteria and it's worse for you than sugar soda those of you who are diet cola advanced so sorry to ruin your day how can we take a stand against politicians who use fear to win elections because we all know that leaders who lack vision have to win waltz through division how can we take how can we inoculate people against the ideas from the capitalists consumerist world that tells you to buy buy buy things that we don't need so pneumatic inoculation simply means that we want to help get powerful transformational ideas out that act as a force field against dumb ideas so for example when we launch wild fit last year we also launched a campaign against Nestle it became the most the biggest news in Malaysia because Nestle is the single biggest company in Malaysia we launched a campaign against Nestle because they were lying to the public offering a drink that was 40% sugar and calling it a health drink and encouraging mothers to give this to their kids twice a day as a result their health ratings for this drink would drop from four and a half stars to one and a half stars right so we we took on Nestle and we won that was powerful and and even though mine bellies goal is to now get into companies all around the world we are going to take on companies we are in Malaysian we took on the biggest company in our country and we're taking on other companies next I can't say who but um but it's coming it's mimetic inoculation but this is the next level of memetic inoculation I was speaking at the student leadership Congress in India the organization was called Isacc they had gathered student leaders from all around the world and I opened one of their books they are they are like brochures and I saw this it was an idea of global citizenship I'm gonna read it out to you global global citizenship typically defines a person who places their identity with a global community a birthday identity as a citizen of a particular nation or place the idea is that once identity transcends geography or political borders and that planetary human community is interdependent and whole humankind is essentially one I so love that idea so the next thing that we're aiming for this is a 20-year goal from nine Valley is an idea that we call the earth flag and it is the ultimate form of memetic inoculation once we create a flag for planet Earth which doesn't exist right now a flag that when we colonize Mars this is the flag that should be on the rocket so an American kid a Mexican kid an Afghani kid can look up and go that's my rocket an earth flag is missing for planet Earth it is something that holds us back as a species and so I went to speak at the UN a couple of months back and I noticed that at the UN there are all of these other flags there is no earth flag and the earth flag is a campaign that we're going to launch we want to create a flag that represents planet Earth this interestingly enough is a form of American occupation because once you understand that you are part of something much greater than your country you give a damn about global warming and politicians like Trump will lose their power because they rely on the lie of national identity to win votes so education is the first thing that we're doing but our greater cause is to take nationalism and place it firmly into the garbage bin of human history so anyway that vision comes from being on that watch list and my question back to you is what was your suffering and what are you gonna do about it think about that moment where you were hurt where you were vilified where you felt betrayed or lied to where you were punished unfairly where you were like stomped and put down what value are you gonna pick up from that suffering is the breadcrumbs to your mission to why you're here and what is it gonna make you stand for Martin Luther King said this and this is one of the most powerful quotes because if you don't get this personal growth becomes about the cute yoga ass and not beyond power without love is reckless and abusive we see this in our political systems all the time power without love in love without power though is sentimental and anemic we say they we see this in the spiritual movement oh it's about meditating and being one with my crystal that's love without power power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love that's where I would love to see you guys play and the great part is this when you take that suffering and you figure out the scan that it's gonna give you and you figure out how to take that stand and put it into your life mission the suffering disappears that baggage that you're carrying that wound on your soul disappears Victor Franco pointed this out suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds its meaning so let's do a quick recap rule number one and this was the rule that sreekumar out jolted me into at reunion last year your thing is not about your thing ready your thing is nothing more than a vehicle for your personal growth and that's great it means you're gonna grow your Rose but you got to do something with that you need to combine that love with a form of power and that is rule number two remember that your life is not about you rather your life is about the lives of everyone you touch now you got to put both of it together because when I see people I know here in the room people often are on different ends of the spectrum there are people who are really passionate about personal growth and they they look amazing and they are super joyous but they're not changing the world outside them and we need those people to fix the world and then there are people out there who are so desperately fixing the world the the incredible aid workers and the people who volunteer for the UNHCR and they are wonderful amazing people but their lives are wrecked because they've forgotten to take care of themselves I want you to remember this analogy the heart is the most selfish organ in the human body because the heart takes all the good blood for itself and then it sends the rest of the blood to your lungs and your liver and your kidneys and everything else so I guess one could call the hot selfish because it holds on to all the best blood but the fact is if the heart did not do that the heart would die and if the heart died it would take down everything else and so you must first work on yourself rule number one and then work on the world and when you do that our guest speaker Marian williamson's quote starts to become more and more relevant to you our deepest fear it's not that we are inadequate our deepest fears that we are powerful beyond measure it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us we ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant gorgeous talented fabulous actually who are you not to be you are a child of God your playing small doesn't serve the world so I want you to snap your fingers like you don't give a damn if you refuse to play small so I wanted to leave you with that message thank you and what I want you to take in for the rest of this next two days is ideas how you can continuously grow your rose and ideas on how you can take on new models of reality new visions for the world that you can go out there and co-create thank you [Applause]

Channel: Mindvalley Talks

Views: 50,739

Rating: 4.7920194 out of 5

Keywords: you couldn't live with your own failure, personal development for women, jim rohn personal development, fear of failure, suffering, how to not suffer, what is my mission, why does god allow suffering, dealing with suffering, vishen lakhiani 6 phase meditation, overcoming fear of failure, fear of failure motivation, self transcendence, what is self transcendence, self actualization, viktor frankl, why are you here Sadhguru on Fear of Failure, UPGRADE YOUR BRAIN Vishen Lakhiani

Id: -a7NRRyPkps

Length: 38min 33sec (2313 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 02 2019