How to Beat the LOS CHUPA FISHOS in PIRANHA 3D

if your touristy Lake Town came under attack by fles eating Mesolithic monsters what would you do it's that time of the year again where Legions of hairbrained college students descend upon the small town of Lake Victoria to push the limits of their perceived immortality by combining water sports with copious amounts of alcohol however this time around they'll be faced with something far more dangerous than their own stupidity well okay maybe slightly more dangerous I'm going to break down the mistake made what you should do is got to beat the Los Chupa fishos in Piranha [Music] 3D it's a great day to slay some fish or at least that's what this random Towny dude's probably thinking as he hauls in the latest catch little does he realize Mother Nature's been holding on to one hell of a reverse card and wouldn't you know it today's the day she picked to slap it on the table what starts off with a little earthquake action quickly turns to tear as a massive Whirlpool suddenly threatens to swallow our guy whole lucky for him his boat's equipped with an outboard motor he can potentially use to escape I mean probably not but what exactly is the alternative of course the problem is it's all the way on the other side and the way he's bouncing around right now it'll be a miracle if he can even make it across without tipping the whole thing over best I can recommend is to Simply stay low and to crawl across the deck in the hopes that he can reach the stern before Davey Jones drops him a job app application from there one might assume that the best course of action would be to follow the flow of water to build up as much speed as possible after all it's the centrifugal force of the whirlpool's rotation that's keeping him from getting sucked straight into the center so combining that with the force of the engine could be enough to effectively slingshot him out of the danger zone however in reality it's not that simple the shape of the boat is meant to maximize control while traveling against the current it might seem a little counterintuitive but steering into the flow of the vortex will provide significantly more stability otherwise it'll be extremely difficult to keep from turning sideways and tipping over sure he'll definitely be fighting an uphill battle but in this case slow and steady absolutely wins the race unfortunately what's his name wasted too much time gawking at the thing to actually have a shot at this so pretty much the only chance he has at this point is to Simply hit the deck hold on tight and hope to God this tub stays upright but no it seems old Hemingway just doesn't know when to quit and as a result of his raised center of gravity it's only a matter of time before the violent spinning action dumps him into the drink sadly this is pretty much the end of him typically whirlpools are formed when two opposing currents meet creating a sort of stirring effect like swirling around a glass of water in this situation it's technically possible 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concerned about depositing your moneyy into an online gambling app well DraftKings is safe secure and reliable great now that that's settled DraftKings Casino has awarded over $100 million in Jackpot winnings just think that could be you if DraftKings Casino isn't yet available in your state check out DraftKings daily fantasy app where you have a shot at winning cash prizes all season long head over to DraftKings casino app right now now and sign up using my promo code nerd explains if you're a new player and play Just $5 you'll instantly receive $50 in Casino credits however for a Whirlpool of this size and strength to appear out on a lake during a Dead Calm day the only plausible explanation would be the sudden formation of a large sink hole or Cavern somewhere on the bottom likely in connection with that lovely little Tremor we got earlier and that case what we're really dealing with here is something more akin to pulling out a drain plug and I'm sure we've all seen what happens to a spider in the bathtub oh and as if our guy isn't screwed enough we're suddenly given a reminder that no matter how bad things might seem at the time they can always get worse and believe me they definitely did like a dark evil cloud of scales and teeth an enormous School of unknown fish emerges from the cavern below and it looks like they're hungry but wait I almost forgot to mention our fisherman Phil is none other than Matt Hooper from the first Jaws movie it's a long shot but maybe he can use his special marine biologist powers to communicate with the fish and bring them to his Aid let's watch I guess what he really needed was a bigger boat oh well I'm sure what happened here was totally an isolated incident and will in no way play a significant role in what is to come for now we'll fast forward a few weeks to find Jake as he arrives at the beach only to find it completely inundated with hordes of Rowdy Spring Breakers here he meets his old Crush Kelly for back in high school by the sound of it she left to totally broaden her Horizons at one of America's esteemed party schools while he stuck around to become a Towny it truly takes all kinds naturally being the Hopeless Romantic that he is Jake clearly sees this as an opportunity to try absolutely nothing in the hopes that Kelly will suddenly decide to go out with him for no discernable reason much to his dismay this expert Ploy somehow fails as Kelly almost immediately shoves him back into the friend zone where he belongs while blathering on about her totally awesome frat house DJ boyfriend Todd oh well much like the man himself none of this really matters Jake's just here to pick up his little sister Laura who's currently chatting up professional party girl and aspiring actress Danny in true 2010's comedy fashion this results in our guy immediately being swept up into the thick of it by the whirling torrent of coke fueled ambition that is the film's director old Derek here is pretty much exactly what you would expect from someone in his line of work I mean the dude literally starts openly discussing the logistics of shooting a skin flick right in front of a child yep nothing to read into there go ahead and take a seat oh but don't worry though DK's only doing this because he so desperately needs Jake's Services as a location scout because is apparently putting around a gorgeous Lake to find a Scenic location is simply too much for him to handle in his current state as for payment dude's offering Cold Hard Cash as well as the opportunity for some genuine personal development we're talking life lesson here Jake you see it's all about teaching future Generations what a standup Guy seriously though I'm once again reminded of John Korea's rules of stupid never go to stupid places at stupid times with stupid people and I can assure you if you hang out with a dirt bag like Derek there is a 100% chance you'll wind up breaking all three and yet despite his better judgment and prior engagements Jake decides to accept the proposal guess the money was simply too much to resist or maybe it was the wild wild girls Derek brought along that did the convincing whatever the case we come to find out that Jake was supposed to be watching this little brother and sister for the duration of the show and as you could probably imagine leaving your little siblings unattended to go party with a couple low lives is going to have its repercussions especially when your mom's the county sheriff speaking of which we later find Sheriff Julie as she goes with Deputy Fallon to investigate the report of Matt Hooper's disappearance for some reason they decide the best time to do this is during the pitch black darkness of night although to their credit they actually managed to find him or at least what's left of him leveraging his expert detective skills Fallon concludes the man severely mangled state was caused by exposure to highly toxic chemicals evidently they must be the kind that tear off massive chunks of Flesh while leaving both hair and clothing relatively intact you know the kind that don't exist besides there's no way such a chemical could reach sufficient concentration to do something like this in a lake measuring over 30 square miles I mean I guess if you had enough of it but by now someone would probably have noticed the Congo line of tanker trucks backing down the boat dock not to mention the fact that that level of contamination would have led to a massive fish die off and it doesn't look like anything else is floating up to the surface sure it's not like anyone would immediately surmise this was the result of a previously unidentified species of carnivore pouring into the water from an underground Lake but whatever did this clearly isn't native to the area that said Julie's initial conjecture that he was chewed up by a propeller seems far more likely either way this brings us to the classic Jaws dialogue of about shutting down the beach pending an investigation but once again money prevails granted I'm not sure how money can Prevail when the town's going to be paying far out the ass in lawsuits should something go horribly wrong but these two clearly aren't accountants and of course they aren't medical examiners either so maybe they should go find some and let them weigh in to better inform their decision-making but AOSS they do nothing and just in case the police response wasn't pathetic enough already Julie decides to abandon her responsibilities as Sheriff to go play tour guide for a bunch of seismologists investigating the recent earthquake I'm not sure why a visit from the USGS warrants a police escort especially given the cops are spread thin as it is but whatever I guess that's happening Elsewhere on the lake Jake fights his way through a crowd of onlookers drawn in by his new co-workers particular set of skills when he randomly bumps into Kelly out on the dock as you might expect he's not super eager to divulge his association with such activities to the girl of his dreams but in a cruel twist of fate his awkward attempts of deflection take up just enough time for Derek to swoop in and invite her on to the loveboat much to Jake's horror Kelly actually accepts as it seems her awesome cool boyfriend lied about having backstage passes for some stupid concert that they were going to guess that was the final straw what a shame he seemed like such a great guy eventually Jay guides the SS perv out to an ideal spot for the ladies to do their thing of course YouTube's ad friendly guidelines require me to inform you that they are both fully clothed beneath those unsightly screen blurs in fact this whole Film Production is actually meant for a series of instructional videos on free diving and definitely not anything else here they're discussing the importance of maintaining a proper breath hold you see you really want to hold your breath underwater because there's no breathable air down there and go going for long periods without oxygen can have numerous ill effects on one's Health such as dying oh uh where was I oh yeah so it's at this time that Jake receives a call from officer Mom asking for a status update on his siblings which for some reason he decides to address while standing right next to Derek as he loudly shouts instructions at the divers at any rate Julie really just called to make sure Jake keeps the kiddos out of the lake given the recent circumstances that seems like a pretty good idea what I don't understand is why she doesn't tell them why hey not to alarm you but we found a body in the lake last night and we stupidly suspect the water might be contaminated with an extremely corrosive and highly selective toxic chemical whatever you do don't go in the lake and try to keep others out as well Jokes Aside Jake is bound to believe her since she seems like a straight shooter and besides why would she make that up at minimum saying that there's unverified reports of chemical spillage or whatever would probably work if you don't want to freak people out or give so much away as a matter of fact this is absolutely something she should have told him the night before like I get she couldn't have known that he was planning on blowing off his responsibilities to Gort with these a holes but it would have been wise to at least give them a heads up so we didn't take them fishing or something after all they do live right along the water regardless of whether she suspected anything this would have almost certainly convinced Jake to change his plans as well as saved him a heap of trouble later on sure this little pleasure Cruise would be auring and all but the dude's a world class worry wart I mean just look at how he reacts upon seeing Kelly's empty inner tube floating out in the open Kelly oh and it turns out she's fine which by the way he could have easily figured out by staying up on the elevated position and looking around through the crystal clear water can't wait to see how he reacts once the critters come in for now things are are still pretty boring over there or at least as boring as they can be given the present company so how about we check in on the sheriff to see what wonders the science team has dug up according to Novak the recent Quake opened up a fissure leading down to a Subterranean Lake which he believes might be even larger than the one on the surface whatever the case there's only one way to find out which is why he so bravely deployed his two scuba flunkies hosed and screwed to squeeze their way into the flooded Cavern and have a look around honestly I can't say I blame the guy for not going himself I've watched more than enough scary interesting cave diving videos to know exactly how this is going to play out first it's too much silt in the water killing visibility then someone inevitably panics and lets go of the dive line only to become trapped in the wrong tunnel and then like 10 more people going after them to get themselves killed too no thanks how about we just Dynamite this whole thing closed and proceed to forget it ever existed n I'm sure it'll be fine after all our Intrepid pair of sacrificial Lambs are supposed to be highly disciplined and experienced cave divers which totally take this sort of thing very seriously I got dibs on home appliances I got dibs on missing college girls dude what what the is this dialogue for real who actually green lit this well that certainly explains a lot moving on so the divers make their way down to the cave system which appears to be absolutely jam-packed full of bioluminescent fish eggs that I can only imagine would have to be the single greatest discovery of both of their careers after all cave systems like this one can generally only support a relatively small population of complex organisms and most of them are going to be tiny in vertebrae food is the limiting factor and without access to sunlight the Pickin are slim to say the least but looking at all those egg clusters everywhere this place must be home to a massive Subterranean ecosystem the likes of which has never never been found anywhere else in the world and yet somehow screwed is completely unfaced by this discovery that is until he cracks a flare and finds the welcoming committee H well that sucks although on the bright side the first person to get horrifically killed while exploring a new Cave System usually gets some kind of small memorial plaque left behind in their memory who knows he might even get his own small section of the tunnel named after him as for what he could have done in this situation I don't know maybe pick another career this one's dangerous as hell even without the man eating fish all it would have taken is an Aftershock while he was squeezing through the opening and Pop Goes the Weasel of course it definitely doesn't help that he couldn't have possibly anticipated there being like a million piranhas down there Cave Fish are usually tiny sucker fish looking things that snack on bugs and worms and it pretty much figures the first person to stumble into this nightmare was going in the meat grinder unfortunately for the same reason screwed it didn't have a chance hosed doesn't either without seeing firsthand what happened to her partner she would have almost certainly assumed his frantic screams of Agony were in response to some kind of cave-in or something in that case it only makes sense she'd go in after to see what's up although it probably would have been a better idea to swim back toward the boat until she regained radio contact with Novak to let him know what was going on before attempting the rescue operation that said it's doubtful things would have gone any better for her either way the initial appetizer primed the Piranha's appetite for a full course meal and there she is looking like a T-bone steak naturally this doesn't go well for her but by some miracle she manages to make it out of the cave and into the waiting arms of Novak who dove in after losing contact it's unclear why the murder fish would not Chow Down on him as well although based on the diers sorry State it's possible that they already got their fill of man meat ah quick someone starts CPR we need to keep blood circulating through those tattered Rags of Flesh until the paramedics arrive and doesn't look like she has much of a mouth left so we'll want to focus on chest compressions if you need a Cadence try singing Staying Alive by the bees or even Sweet Home Alabama by Leonard skinnard H then again given her condition Another One Bites the Another One Bites the Dust by Queen might be more appropriate I don't know just just find something on YouTube Bronto sadly it seems our heroes are simply too overcome with shock to react in time and while I'm sure Novak blames himself for all of this the sad truth is that they simply couldn't have known what was waiting for them down in the cave well maybe I do kind of find it strange that Julie would neglect to inform these people about the severely mangled corpse she found bobbing around not all that far from here sure she thought it was some kind of acid or something but still if you thought there was something in the water capable of doing this to a human body why in the hell wouldn't you say something as they were gearing up to Dive Right In the only Silver Lining here is that the cat is definitely out of the bag with both the sheriff and Novak having witnessed all of this firsthand plus they also managed to take one of the Piranha's prisoner following the encounter we'll want to find another marine biologist ASAP to conduct a thorough interrogation if we can figure out what the fish are planning and how great their numbers are there's a chance that we can put a stop to their Invasion before things get nasty oh yeah we also need to close the lake Julie has both the authority and the justification to do so without anyone saying sh and if the mayor or whoever really wants to throw a fit about it we can just drop the Ragged corpse at their feet and let him chew on that for a second but no apparently Novak can't go anywhere by himself in this place so the sheriff just has to follow him out to the nearest fish doctor instead of leaving him to it so she can do her job and enters one Carl Goodman AKA Christopher Lloyd because who better to explain the sciency stuff than him right allow me to introduce pigo centus not har I guess the answer is anyone else since he just misidentified the supposedly prehistoric killing machine as the common red-bellied piranha native to South America which these things are definitely not also he never even asked it any questions as a matter of fact I'm calling it right now this guy's working with the fish all this BS about the piranha surviving millions of years underground through canabalism and incest is just meant to obfuscate the fact that he put them there as part of some sick ploy to bankrupt the town then once the property values are diminished he and his cronies can buy up all the land and use Lake Victoria as a breeding ground for more eological Abominations well he's not going to get away with it mostly because as the piranha lover himself pointed out they're just fish and as such can easily be killed seriously though these morons needed a biologist for this hell I could have told them that humans have been Exterminating fish populations in Mass forever it's yet another one of the things that we're really good at in terms of how we go about handling this particular infestation the first thing we need to do is close the lake after which we'll organize a team of expert fishermen police units Maybe even the National Guard to form an elite piranha purging task force as for the fun part there's several ways that we can go about it each with its own Associated costs and benefits option number one poison rinone is an excellent tool to use in these kinds of situations as it effectively causes fish to internally suffocate while not being toxic to birds or mammals of course this would carry the unfortunate side effect of wiping out all the other fish in the lake but afterwards we could simply restock it with regular piranhas that would be much easier to manage I suppose we could take a more localized approach to avoid killing literally everything in the leg in that case we could try using store-bought meat or any dead bodies we have at our disposal to create a sort of poisonous bait just dump it in the water rinse and repeat until the piranha stop coming in option number two shock the BS in 2022 the Army Corps of Engineers employed this strategy to stop an invasive carp species from spreading into Lake Michigan however in that case they utilized an electric fence system in rivers around the lake to Simply stun the fish whereas we'll be needing something much more permanent to that end we could make use of electrofishing boats or tote barges equipped with powerful generators we Chum the waters to draw in The Horde at which point anode aray mounted off the vessel will bring the stunned piranhas to the surface where we could easily pop them out with dip Nets or you know shoot them alternatively we could attempt to divert the current from nearby power lines as is often practiced illegally in certain parts of India that said more power likely won't make much of a difference as contrary to what most would believe water isn't the best conductor of electricity using the boats would take a while but it'd probably be our best bet option number three force them into a Kill Zone as mentioned previously Lake Victoria is actually Lake Havasu a reservoir created by the construction of the Parker Dam across the Colorado River there's several narrow areas marked by buoys where the water's fairly shallow and boats frequently run ground number one is the spot I think would work best steel woven Nets probably won't hold the freaks for very long but once we bait them in we can take them out with some good oldfashioned Dynamite fishing obviously no matter which option we go with we'll want to seal off access to the underground lake is there's no telling just how many many more might be incubating down there this would be best handled by large dive teams equipped with shark suits in case all the activity draws out another school depending on the size and layout of the access tunnels this could be accomplished by either blasting or simply filling the entrance with specialized concrete designed to set underwater however given the shock from an earthquake opened it up in the first place I'd probably go with a ladder to avoid creating any new Escape Routes once that's taken care of we'll hand it over to fishing game since that's really their job anyway from there I'd imagine they'll post up some kind of bounty on piranhas to encourage fishermen to pick off any stragglers although by that point the problem will have pretty much been solved already anyway let's get back to the story over at the party boat things are more or less carrying on as you'd expect that is until Jake spots his siblings waving for help from a small island off in the distance turns out these little Helens decided to blow off his command to stay in the house to despite being paid for their compliance and since they had no way of knowing about the horrible monsters lurking beneath the surface they wound up paddling out to the island to do a little fishing now were that all that happened it wouldn't be a problem but wouldn't you know it Tweedle dumb decided to tie up their canoe to something instead of Simply pulling it out of the water like a normal person naturally this resulted in the line coming undone and leaving them both high and dry pending rescue from Vigilant passers by and unfortunately for them all they get is these bozos and it seems dereck's not about to let something as trivial as a family emergency to rail his multi thousand operation Good Thing Jake knows just how to bring him on board mom is the sheriff there it is and just like magic everyone's suddenly wiping their noses and are now more than happy to help him out what a wholesome resolution to an otherwise unpleasant situation elsewhere in the lake however it's about to fall apart in a major way evidently the Piranhas just received word from the Doc Brown that their covers blown meaning they'll have to launch their attack ahead of schedule starting with poor Giana and the Paras ouch that's not going to be good for her career then again nobody was pain to see her legs back at the beach we find Fallon and the other deputies trying in vain to re in the party goers but unfortunately everyone's far too wasted to respect their authorita then again it probably has something to do with the fact that they're severely understaffed for an event of this size there should be at least 100 cops probably even more and while there's only 83 sworn officers in Lake havu PD as of 2023 the Mojave County Sheriff's Department undoubtedly has sufficient manpower to ensure this was properly manned furthermore it's not uncommon for places like this to pull in officers from neighboring jurisdictions to help out when they know something big is in the works point being there's absolutely no reason for such a meager police presence when a gathering of this size is known to take place at least once a year oh but don't worry though Deputy fance got it all under [Applause] [Music] control nice one like I get it big world small bullets and relatively low terminal velocity of a bullet falling straight down but his bullets will be traveling much faster from firing at an angle like that he'd better hope no one on the other side of the lake doesn't catch one of those in the head still desperate times call for desperate measures although in this case felon's little fireworks show barely shut them up for a minute before everyone just goes right back to it honestly they would have had much better luck commandeering a beer truck parking it up on the beach out in plain sight that'd get them out of the water or you know since the Piranhas are just going to Massacre everyone anyway he could try shooting like five or 10 or 20 of these idiots to help get the point across just think of it like the trolley problem yes some would die and many more would be killed in the panic but it's for the greater good sadly because the small band of Law Enforcement Officers just isn't willing to do what it takes to preserve human life it's only a matter of time before I'm forced to blur out half the screen as a swarm of vicious Predators tear into the soft supple flesh of the inebriated youth all right time's up of course it's only once the water runs red like the beaches of Normandy that the party people begin to see the air of their ways meanwhile our ragtag team of Rescuers can do little more than watching [ __ ] as the Piranhas proceed to devour those around them worse yet the terrified crowd immediately begins overloading boats and barges in a frantic effort to escape the ripping jaws of death resulting in some regular Final Destination type action as they begin to tip from the combined weight however amidst all the chaos a hero emerges to send these monsters back to hell where they belong Jesus Christ that's Jason Bourne no it's a geologist on a jet ski with a shotgun yeah this is really stupid first of all no one should be shooting anything right now there is literally thousands of these things maybe even tens of thousands all the officers combined couldn't possibly be carrying enough ammunition to make so much as a dent in their numbers and then that's of course beside the fact that proper Target identification would be next to Impossible between all the blood and bodies blocking the line of sight likely resulting in many more people being killed and injured as a result of the gunfire furthermore low velocity Firearms like pistols and shotguns penetrate much deeper into the water than high-powered rifles meaning any rounds fired are almost certainly still deadly for anyone unfortunate enough to be down there granted they're probably going to be eaten alive by fish anyway but yeah still not helping right now the only thing that they should be focused on is fairing the survivors to a casual League collection Point somewhere down the shoreline that they can reach without plowing through dozens of desperate people I'd also have deputies Commander any available boats Within Reach for this same purpose as well as to try and stop others from engaging in any ill-advised heroics you know like this guy well to be fair he did tell them to get out of the way but it just wasn't enough and our hero is ultimately bogged down and overtaken by the crowd of fleeing swimmers he so bravely drove through to save his own life why must the Good Die Young getting back to the rescue operation there's yet another major missing component of the police response that could have easily been addressed ahead of time this being medical personnel think about it Sheriff Julie knew exactly what the Piranhas were capable of going into this mess and if noac testimony wasn't enough the marine biologist made it clear that where there's one of these things there's bound to be a hell of a lot more now of course we know that he's actually the one responsible for all of this so it's strange that he would betray his minions true numbers ahead of the final assault but the sheriff clearly believed him so why didn't she plan accordingly given the size of the body count that would undoubtedly pile up once the fish crashed the party we should have coordinated with the local fire department and paramedic units ahead of time to make make sure that we had every last meat wagon within 100 miles speeding towards the beach as fast as possible instead we're left with dozens upon dozens of critically injured survivors bleeding out in the sand with no one around to help them even as underst staffed as her team is there's absolutely no excuse for an oversight of this magnitude in fact just about the only thing the deputies do to actually stem the tide of this blood bath is when Fallon heroically rips an outboard motor from a nearby boat and uses the whirling blades of death to whip up a batch of fish smoothies that mother now that is how it's done theatrical though it might have been the man's efforts did create enough of a diversion for the last survivors to make it aore but in the end it cost him his life well that is unless you were unfortunate enough to watch the sequel in which case you know that they were able to rebuild him and by that I mean replace his legs with pump action shotguns with the feeding frenzy finally over Sheriff Julie can only stare an awe at the aftermath of her severe and some might say criminal mishandling of the situation however just when it looks like the worst of it's behind her she receives a frantic phone call from Jake that cranks things up back to 11 out a desperation to resume filming for his magnum opus Derek ignored Jake's warnings and plowed their boat into a rock thereby shattering the glass bottom and causing it to sink into the piranha infested water around them don't worry though the scumbag gets his soon after although if the sheriff doesn't act fast five more innocent lives are going down with him with most of her deputies either tending to the wounded or Gravely injured themselves Julia and Novak hop onto a nearby speedboat and set out to handle it themselves and D I applaud the sense of urgency she should have shown hours ago it definitely would have been worth it to get just a little more information from Jake before charging in blind to address the situation for example had she known that they'd run ground she could have told Novak to bring the jet ski along as the boat that they're currently in likely won't be able to get close enough to make the rescue without becoming damaged as well luckily they were able to spot the hazard before things could get any worse however Jake and Company are now forced to Commando crawl over the water in order to reach safety I mean if that's their only option they'll just have to make do although I definitely don't understand how Julie growling over to the wreck beforehand is going to help them out in any possible way all she did was add another person who will eventually need to cross back to the speedboat which only increases their exposure I'm sure Jake and Danny could figure out how to get the kids on the line safely after all there's nothing she can do to protect them anyway so again what's the point well whatever she's here now so we'll just have to take the extra time going back one thing's for sure piling up three bodies on the Rope is not how you make up for this not only are the attack attachment points on both the vessels entirely unsuitable for this kind of activity the added weight is going to cause the line to dip even closer to the water which is where the Piranhas are see what I mean well the good news is there's less weight on the Rope now however before Jake and Julie can make it back themselves they're forced to deal with yet another problem Kelly during the Collision she wound up getting knocked out down in the cabin and with all the water pouring into the bottom she's unable to reach the exit without getting her legs KN off what's more it seems the dynamic duo hasn't realized they could simply smash the Skylight assembly inward to reach her instead of feudly trying to pry it open just find something heavy enough to break the window or you know shoot it and then wail on the support pieces until the paths clear even if that's impossible look at all these perfectly breakable windows on the side of the boat she could easily climb out of the point is she's got options but the way Julie sees it the only way to get Kelly out is by going under the boat which again is where the Piranhas are thankfully Jake's not about to let his mom get eaten over something that was his doing to begin with and after a brief back and forth he convinces her to follow Zayn and Laura over to safety unfortunately despite what happened to Danny it still hasn't dawned on the sheriff that they should go across one at a time and the mistake nearly cost all three of them their lives when the railing gives out now Jake and Kelly are going to have a much more difficult time getting out of the this mess that's assuming he can even get her out without both of them being torn to shreds the good news is Jake actually has a brain by using Derrick's mangled remains as a sacrifice he can effectively lure the Piranhas away from the boat while Kelly slips out the other side I mean that's what they could have gone with had Jake's brain not shriveled up and died the second Derek hit the water but I guess going in himself could work too as long as they make sure to leave immediately spoiler alert they don't leave immediately no instead they've got to hug it out and waste precious meat time while Jake cobbles together some ridiculous gas bomb that's supposed to accomplish what exactly you're not going to kill them all dude if anything you're just creating an additional Hazard you and Kelly will have to avoid it during your Escape plus all the additional movement in the water is just going to attract their attention not that anyone in the audience will likely ever need this advice but if you do somehow find yourself surrounded by piranhas your best bet is to move as slowly and quietly as possible to avoid aggravating them in some way that said the real ones are generally pretty docile around humans trust me you'll be fine as for Our Heroes it is only after Derrick's body is completely stripped of Flesh that they begin their Retreat let's see how it [Music] goes n they're fine in fact they have more than enough time for Jake to ignite the floating road flare they rigged up and wait patiently for Novak to start the boat's engine again not sure why it wasn't running this entire time but you already know they're going to make it out alive so why even bother with the suspense at this point in case you're wondering the plan is to have the speedboat pulled him to safety via the rope tied around Jake's waist problem is he accidentally threaded it through the railing while climbing into the water so realistically this would only get them killed faster oh well I guess we weren't supposed to notice that anyway in true Michael Bay fashion the engine Roars to life at the last possible second and yoinks the love birds away from danger just in time to watch the fireworks wow say goodbye to your hearing and with that it seems our protagonists have saved the day while also destroying all the remaining super pirana screwing around Lake Victoria hooray no frankly I don't buy that for a second and neither should they sure enough just as the credits are about to roll Christopher Lloyd bones in to gloat about the fact they only killed the infant forms of his dastardly Creations prompting Novak to ask the obvious question so where are the parents and there's our answer in the end out of our original characters only Julie Jake Kelly and the kiddos made it out alive and while many of the fatalities that took place were indeed preventable when dealing with an unknown threat of this magnitude some amount of death is simply inevitable that said had Julie stuck by the objectively correct decision to close the lake after finding Matt Hooper's body just about all of this could have been avoided no beachfront Massacre no heroing boat rescue pretty much everything of note in this entire movie for that reason I think Piranha 3D was beat moral of the story close the lake [Music]

Channel: Nerd Explains

Views: 175,282

Keywords: nerd explains, how to beat, cinema summary, dead meat, how to beat movies

Id: yXU-irWWRms

Length: 39min 39sec (2379 seconds)

Published: Thu May 23 2024