HOW TO: BE SECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP/NOT BE JEALOUS OF OTHER GIRLS

what's up y'all start to go clean I'm back for another video and as you see the title today we are talking about how to not be insecure or jealous or all that stuff while you're in a relationship I don't know if you guys could tell that I'm in a new setup it's basically my same setup I upgraded a couple things like lighting and such like that so if it looks a little different that's why if you guys know I'm in my new apartment if you haven't seen my last apartment tour go watch that you're late but yeah you know guys I'm still students so I have class in like 40 minutes thirty minutes so I'm just gonna knock this out for you guys just so I can keep being consistent because the show doesn't stop me oh but that is not why you're here so let's just get into this but guys if you've not been to my channel yet what do you do we're gonna give you a couple seconds to do that did you do it goodnight watch the video and welcome to our family also follow me on my social as we participate in polls all that fun stuff or whatever let's get into this so you're either in a relationship right now and you're insecure or jealous you've been in one or you're just you know you're here's a preventive measure proud of you regardless so the first I'm gonna tell you guys is being insecure and getting jealous is so so natural it just depends on what level you're taking it okay so this is what I'm saying by that when you love somebody right or when you're with somebody it's very easy to let that progress into like possessiveness but something that you need to remember is that person's life their body whatever it is is not yours so you don't own them you don't have ownership over that so you can't really be jealous when other people are interacting with them other people are talking to them whatever it is because they're not your property but that's a whole other thing being insecure and getting from time to time is very very natural especially if you have invented a lot of relationships yet like you're young it's very natural to just be like like I want you to just love me but what is not acceptable is when you're taking some point where you're fighting this dude or this girl every single day or you're I don't know they're not allowed they're not allowed we're gonna get it to that they're not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex or just interact with people or whatever it is when you're taking it to that level where you're controlling when you're possessive when you're like owning them now we have a problem not to say that that's also not something that's so so common but we need to discuss it because that's not healthy just for the purposes of making this easier to keep up with I'm gonna talk about it as if it was a guy cuz I'm a straight woman but you can switch it any which way it's open everyone of course so anyway if you're just feeling insecure in the sense of when a girl walks by is he looking at her or this girl has a bigger butt than me or bigger boobs in New York blah blah blah blah whatever it might be you're just feeling insecure about your guy looking at other women wanting other women there's several layers to that the first thing I'm going to ask you is if your man making you feel secure now let me tell you this it's not his job to make you love yourself but it is a part of the details of your commitment to make sure he is keeping you a short and feeling secure he's not out here talking about every next girl he's not out here making you feel less than other women he's not giving you a reason to question him is he making you feel secure in the relationship that's question one if it's know you have some considering to do like do you want to stay with somebody that is making you feel this way about because this will take a huge effect on you in the long term so I'm not gonna tell you whether to leave that person or not but okay now if answer is yes he is with me feel secure but you're still feeling insecure now we're moving on to you usually when women are feeling insecure within a relationship about other women it's usually other women that have something that you lack so for example if I wasn't secure in my relationship it might be because a girl is thicker or has bigger boobs or whatever because y'all know I know unfortunately God said no so anyway typically it's over a girl that has something that you don't so you feel like she has a one-up on this is gonna link back to my how to not compare yourself video I'm gonna share you can't compare yourself to other women because here's the hard truth that you're maybe doing here but y'all know I'm gonna tell you the hard truth is there is always going to be a woman out there that has a one-up on you and that's just that one literally always even if it's a tip top girl a new girl will come and just knock her off the totem pole it's always gonna be a girl that 1ups you so if you continue to just worry about the next girl the next girl the next girl you're gonna be stick for life what you need to do is sit there and realize you know what that's a bad job but if you if my man is that easily swayed by a pair of bigger boobs or a bigger ass I want the man anyway and this is y'all know i'ma get deeper on you this speaks to what type of relationship you guys are in so are you in the type of relationship where you're genuinely together because you have love for each other because you like who they are as a person or are you together because it's like you look good I look good unless date because that's gonna bring a lot of insecurity because everybody look good baby there is the next go right around the block so I'm here that's a relationship get out of it because that is such a points relationship and you're gonna have so many issues and infidelity is almost inevitable but if you're together because of who you are you have a connection with a friendship there's no reason for you to be just about the next girl who has a fatter ass or bigger boobs or whatever cuz that's not why he chose you if you wanted all that so bad why don't you think you use your brain y'all use your brain what's not clicking what's not clicking it's okay for him to think somebody else is attractive because other people are attractive when you start dating somebody that is just not he's not your end-all be-all oh my god everybody else is ugly now I only see him know there's a lot of other attractive people but I love you you're my most attractive person in my eyes so yeah that's what we mess up feeling like we own other people and here's another hard truth what goes on in his mind is none of your business just like what goes on in your mind is none of his business that's his brain he owns that not you and then just as a pride thing because I I feel that if all of that stuff didn't speak to you this should if you feel if you keep talking about the next girl like if he sees you be impressed about the next girl that's just only gonna like pull him towards her even more in my mind right if I was your man right let's say we're doing okay sexy so be dating right and you keep talking about shorty over there or I can see you pressed about another girl I'll start being intrigued because like damn she must be a bad if my girls so pressed over here with what she got going on oh dude you are doing the opposite your gift you're making him think of her even even more often like you're your self sabotage baby you've talked about the same girl keep thinking about same girl keep looking that same girl unless she's like an actual issue in a relationship where she's like disrespecting you and their relationship that's in the story I'm gonna talk about this brand new girl she just look good you just can you just press amen this reckful happen you just press so I'm sorry if you've already been doing this but you might want to start backpedaling sweetie so yeah that's just that line again of just like what like I'm not gonna keep making him think about somebody else you should be thinking all about me sweetheart so we gonna talk about me me me me me hmm but if your insecurities and stuff are like eating you up you probably should take a step back from the relationship that you're in regardless because I think you have self work to do you need to find your own self-worth you need to fall in love back with yourself instead of falling in love with somebody else you how can you really fully have a healthy relationship and truly give all of yourself and fall in love with somebody else if you haven't even fall in love with yourself how do you expect somebody else to fall in love with you you haven't fallen in love with you so you really need to build your own confidence up and sometimes you can do that within the relationship if you're with the right person but a lot of times you can do it on your own stuff can stem really far back you might have abandonment issues on all these issues and that might be why you're feeling insecure once you identify where your insecurities are truly coming from then you can work on them but if you don't know where they're coming from and you're just like allowing them to run wild and free you will fall and that relationship will fail and just get scared that if you guys are building your confidence on stuff while you're in a relationship it's gonna be linked to that person so god forbid they leave you lose it's like well he didn't want me and why did he leave and it'll do that now you don't have that self-worth again instead of making it about him it has nothing to do with you does that make sense I just want you guys to get to a point where it's like okay if you're choosing commune relationship because it is a choice if you're choosing to be in a relationship and you're with somebody that you know does care about you then let it be that and let things play out that's just what it is and I know that's easier said than done but an easy way for me to think about things like this is that I already know everything that's already written out like if you're spiritual or anything at all like religious whatever it is just remember your life was already written out so whatever was meant to happen with you and sir over here or ma'am over here so you're just kind of going along for the ride now let me say this I'm not saying all this so you actually just be like quite little animes in the corner like no I'm saying don't let somebody disrespect you like if you're do this out here like making you feel disrespected talking to girls all the time liking all you girls pictures and tweets and no he's being disrespectful and he is easily sweet he is interested just my opinion I don't think liking a girl's picture just like once or whatever like just liking a picture is like then he wants her but I don't know y'all know the difference like if he liking pictures of girls you know a scowl you know as a face down type of situation oh my god those situations this or like people want his likes and it's just all girls or whatever you max on the workout but he's got a friend a song you gotta cool this is now I know that sometimes people don't play that friend stuff because it's like I don't play that friend stuff because if I was here if I wasn't here you would be with it but this is how I've coped with that because I think my boyfriend is attractive I know a lot of other girls my boyfriend is attractive so yes you would take the chance if I was here but you didn't have to change so why am i why my price like I'm not gonna be pressed about other women with my boyfriend and be insecure about it because if he wanted them he had every chance to go pick any one of y'all but he chose me that's how y'all need to be there was something about you that your dude picked you or CH wanted to be with you chased you over all these other women so why are you still looking around at all these other women that he dubbed for you when your insecurities get to a toxic point where you're letting them just spew out and there's no acknowledgment of where it's coming from you're ruined every relationship ever like you're not giving each one a solid chance to grow because you're literally like poisoning it with your own issue so for now right obviously I still get insecure from time to time my boyfriend might like that's a whole nother thing guys get insecure as well so understand that this isn't just a woman's day and women don't let her man sit here and tell you oh yeah you can't have no guy friends but I'm gonna have all these girlfriends no even playing for you that's not gonna fly at all don't let men try to mask their insecurities because whoo they are the ones to do it don't let men mask their insecurities into aggression into I don't know defensiveness into disrespect don't let them mask that because it's very very hard for men to be vulnerable just because of a long line of toxic masculinity but we're not even gonna get into that conversation it's very very hard for them to be open honest and vulnerable and say hey I'm feeling insecure that's why I don't like you talking to that guy so have that conversation if your man is feeling that way or have them watch this video so hopefully this helped you guys a little bit it's just a little pep talk y'all know this is the breadwinner of my channel I love doing these for you guys it's my most requested type of videos so if you guys have other suggestions on how to videos that you want to see make sure you comment them down below I read all your comments yeah but before I go you know how to get my shadow of the week this week's shout-out goes to Kennedy's vlogs thank you so much for supporting me I saw your comment on my apartment tour video and I just want so you know that I love you so so much and then we never change I also make sure you like comment share subscribe to improve the Keystone you got a lot to do but I get to it yeah I will see you guys in

Channel: Taty Cokley

Views: 170,154

Rating: 4.9800735 out of 5

Keywords: how to be secure, how to be secure in a relationship, how to stop thinking hes cheating, how to not be insecure, how to not be insecure in a relationship, how to be confident, how to love yourself, how to love yourself in a relationship, how to trust him, how to trust her, how to stop having trust issues, how to not be jealous, how to not be jealous of other girls, how to stop being a hater, how to stop being jealous, am i insecure

Id: lL4rRrQ4MFY

Length: 13min 4sec (784 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 24 2020