How to Be More Than Average

[Music] let me ask a magic question how many of you have got some huge dreams inside of you how many of you have them all right how many of you've got some huge ambition you've learned a few things in the last couple of days that you know you're gonna go home and use how many you're excited about that all right so I want to tell you the truth of the matter I went down and met with success magazine a few weeks ago and we were talking about what I was going to discuss today and we talked about all of you individually and as a collective and the conversation they said Michael I want you to come on at the end not exactly at the end near the end and I'm gonna ask you to do something very special for us and it made a lot of sense to me cuz I'm from New Jersey they said all right that's good right all right Jersey all right let's either you love you or hate you type thing now when they said is I want you to come on almost as a hit man and I thought about that's easy a hit man and what the NIP by that is they want you to hit on some points and want to make certain the few things happen in the next little bit how many of you would like to learn in the next 30 minutes how to get yourselves to really do what it is you've been thinking about doing how many of you would love that how many of you would love the ability to remove some blocks that you've had in your life for years how many of you would love that and how many of you are willing to pay attention allow yourself to get those things so it becomes easier for you to make things happen how many of you would love that if you would say what all right so one of the things that I've recognized in life is it's easy while you're here in this room it's easy and it's safe here because your round successful minded people but how many of you know that you're gonna go home in the next couple of hours a couple of days and those people are there how many of you know what I'm talking about you know those people those people that don't exactly have the same dream you have you're like oh shoot my husband yes you're talking about Lee I don't mean mine I mean yours right now also people are saying when I leave here how do I know this is all gonna happen my job is to destroy in the next a little bit your old program your old way of thinking and apply a new one in the twenty seven minute period how many of you guys are game on if you are say I am alright so here's the way it's gonna happen I'm gonna give you a quick little story get caught up because we don't really know each other how many of you have I met before anyone I met before okay I got a few fans like maybe 10 15 here in this room okay great and the rest of you are gonna become fans of not me by the time I'm done you heard it become fans of you so here's where this story really began and I can really relate to all of you way before I got invited to speak here years ago I was the guy reading the magazine with all the desires in the world to be successful and I'm like am I gonna be successful I really want to be I want to make this work I had Drive I had ambition like everyone here in this room but something felt like it was missing now I thought back as I was discovering my story of really what I wanted to discuss with all of you and I'm like I don't exactly have that typical speaker story but I have a story very similar to most of you here in this room and maybe we could find this could be the thing that could allow you to start taking more action in your life I love the story about the speaker who I grew up on the subway and I was left there for nine years and I grew up eating out of a trash can how many of you've heard that one before and I get excited about that I get moved I didn't have a story like that I have all my limbs I have everything I also didn't grow up on the other side of the equation where my dad was Bill Gates how many of you would like that to be your story and game over okay now for me that wouldn't be exciting because my whole life I've had masterful ambition inside of me how many of you could say your whole life you've had a ton of ambition inside of you how many forgot a burning flame inside that's been there for years how many of you have that how many of you recognize it sometimes it burns super bright and sometimes it goes out how many of you know what I'm talking about how many of you realize the pilot light that needs to go really really bright so here's the way my story goes and it probably is very similar to everyone here in this room I grew up with what I believe the world's biggest challenge of the last I would say 50 or 60 years has been for people if you've ever wondered why success is difficult for most people or why you've had a challenge getting what it is that you want it probably falls in this area and you didn't know it see it's the alcoholic that doesn't know they're that alcoholic that has the problem how many of you know what I mean it's the food you didn't realize that you shouldn't be eating that causes the problem it's the activity you do when your relationships that mess things up see I grew up in a very very specific way like so many of you and here's where my challenge lied I grew up something called middle-class now men if you can relate to middle-class now let me ask question how many of you grew up either one of these three flavors lower middle straight up or up or how many of you know what I'm talking about now some of your wondering like Michael why is this a problem well here's why it becomes a problem when you have nothing being motivated as easy you either do it or you die I mean if you get that when you're rich it's like either keep my parents money or I wasted on stupid things and lose it all and then they have to bail me out but when you're middle-class you're right down the middle and you're okay and you're this thing that really messes up success you become a little something called average now I want to think about that word any my clients know I think average what yep it's not good and it sucks and here's why I'm gonna bring this up how many of you have ever felt this before in your life that you know you're capable of more but your actions say something different how many of you've noticed that doesn't mean you're a bad person see when you grow up middle-class here's what happens you have more than enough pairs of shoes you got to see how's a kid I get to go to nice things I got to go to Disney Land on TV I got to watch it but I parents never took me I get to go to Corning New York to which glass get made we got to go on fun-filled trips my parents would take me places and they'd say you'll appreciate it later these museums we're taking you to and they told me I'd appreciate it later and I do now but the reason I'm bringing this up and the reason is so important for all of you to understand is when everything is okay you're okay and when okay is okay okay is still okay but okay is okay it's not okay if it's not okay anymore so my job out here I get that I almost get a print down as a t-shirt I even talk to success partners Mike can I get that as a t-shirt okay is okay and okay is okay as long as okay is okay but okay is okay as long as okay is okay but as soon as it's not okay it's what not okay anymore so I'm gonna ask all of you to accept something today and accept something in a mail to talk about this that fine and okay they fit in a box and we've got a step on it meaning that if you're not where it is that you want to be right now our job is to make that place be bigger so when I talk about this whole middle-class challenge for people is we've been living in a world that's been trained to be average I would say I'm probably the most average person you've ever met in your life outside of my height you know I'm six foot six outside of my ambition which is ninety thousand feet tall but outside of that everything else is pretty average way I grew up my family that being everything else I had and I remember being in an event like this I got a chance to do an interview earlier and they said what was the defining moment in your life when did things start to change and I remember just the random occurrence of two things that changed everything for me because in your life it's those little moments that make the difference it's those little things that you didn't think about that really change everything and for me it was taking a college class and it was a class that wasn't paying attention and I wasn't doing well and they handed me this assignment and I remember looking at the assignment it said you have to read one of these books and it was boring it was like BAE Wolf boring Sir Gawain and the Green Knight how many remember these books write boring The Outsiders movie was good but then one of the books was simple and sometimes you don't get the wake-up call right away and it was that book how to win friends and what influence people and it was a great book and I got that book and I was so excited about reading it because it was the first experience my entire life that I ever realized that if you want to get good at something you have the ability to do it if you could find somebody that can help you get good at it and that's what this event is about that's what success is all about it's about finding people that have done it and getting yourself to do those same things at the same time so I got the book but I didn't exactly get the message and it wasn't until a few years later that I was in an event very similar you guys here and all the ambition the world super excited driven galore how many of you are business owners raise your hands high proud high and remember being there as a business owner acting like everything was great on the outside but on the inside it wasn't so great how many of you know what I'm talking about you can raise your hand like that when it's one of those like how many be realized you know want to tell everybody the kondal how many if you do that do the halfway wave yeah not me but me yeah so that's funny isn't it it's the truth isn't it the truth doesn't hurt it's funny if you laugh at it got it very good okay so what happened is I'm at this event and this guy said one word that changed everything for me said if you want to succeed in life and you want to succeed in business and you want to succeed with a great body with a better sex life how many of you would like that if you would also raise your hands okay good nobody wants to admit that one I don't know if we're supposed to talk about that from stage but how many feels like a better sex life you would say I would all right all right scream it out because that's where driven is people biologically to do things we really want to do now this guy said in the room he said the one word that changes everything and I heard him say it and those two are married they're together and they're like okay let's go home and work on that one right now okay yeah so I hear this one word and it changed everything for me it was a simple word he said if you want to change your life you need to understand a little something called influence now when I first heard that word I thought of that word and I thought immediately what everyone of you think here in this room I got it I get it influence other people I got to get people to do things I got to get my mom to do things I got to get these clients to do things and I got obsessed with the word influence but what I didn't understand that day is another side of it when he kept on talking and I was paying attention he said I think you're not understanding me because it's not necessarily just influencing other people it's about you becoming a person of influence how many of you in this room believed that if you were a person of influence and you did what you said you were going to do more often how many of you realize you'd have a better life how many of you recognize when you look in the mirror in the morning when you see it you know that if you could influence other people you could do more be more become more how many of you understand what I'm saying how many of you wrote down something you were super proud of that you really want to do on a piece of paper in the last 24 hours if that's you say that's me how many of you realize it's only a person of influence that's gonna pull it off so when I talk about strategic influence for the next little bit I'm gonna share with you three simple questions three simple things that are gonna get you to take more action understand your life differently and really put your life into a massive perspective to get yourself to do what you want see for me strategic influence is not necessarily getting somebody to to buy something from you and strategic influence is not necessarily getting some but one over on another person strategic influence is that feeling you get now how many of you have been there before where you went on one of these things called a diet has anyone ever went on a diet raise your hand if you've been on a diet okay how many realize while you're on the diet you wished you could die how many of you know what I'm saying the word makes sense it's not fun at all but when you're on a diet and you're laying there in your bed and it's 11 o'clock at night and you get this craving inside of your brain for cheesecake or chocolate some of your like I don't like cheesecake chocolate anyone ever get a craving for broccoli I don't think that's ever happened before you're you're the guy I get it I totally understand the one guy the messes of everything right so what happens is you're laying there in your bed it's 11 o'clock at night and you're saying to yourself I got it I would like the ability to lay here but the craving kicks in just like I want to make six figures this year but the craving kicks in to go to Starbucks I have a rule in my company in my life it says if you make under 80 grand a year you're not welcome at Starbucks any financial planner in the room would say invest the money in your business or your life don't go there so you're laying in your bed it's 11 o'clock at night you get the feeling to go to the fridge and you step out of the bed you take another step and if you had strategic influence you would say stop go back to bed buddy but you wander with an excuse to the kitchen it's like Chris Rock always said he goes there's no reason to be at an ATM at 3 o'clock in the morning and there's also no reason you should ever be a refrigerator at 11:30 at night if you've already been sleeping so you're standing there and you're having a debate with the fridge do i or don't I and you open it but if you have strategic influence you would not grab it you'd go back to bed get build it influence yourself so what happens is you open it and you're staring at the broccoli and the cheesecake or the chocolate cake and at that moment you have a decision to make can I control who it is that I am do I have the power to close the door this is a metaphor this is not anything more than how you live your life in your business what strategic influence is the ability to deal with certain things like how many of you would love the ability with your brain to have the ability when you have a tough day when you're leaving you're leaving work one day and somebody calls you complains how many of you have brought that home with you anybody how many of you were gonna fight in the morning with the one you loved and you brought it to work how many of you realized the strategic influence you turn that off see I know one little thing and I talk about average and people say are you talking about average compared to other people the average I'm talking about is that thing you run into because if you ever been really excited about doing something but for some reason you run into a wall anyone ever had that and you're wondering like what is that wall like some reason I can't jump I can't get myself to do it I have a name for that that is your average 'no status your ability to stay who it is that you currently are instead of becoming everything that you want it for some reason we have trouble getting through that wall the only way you're gonna get through that wall is to understand where the program came from in the first place so I'm gonna ask you about three questions right now if you guys are excited to do this I'm super excited and I'm really excited to do this how many of you're excited about doing this and the reason I bring this up is one of our speakers mentioned this this morning he said you never should make a new decision when you're in a what kind of state of mind tired angry crappy whatever you want to call it not so good so make certain you're in the right state of mind as we go through this exercise because the next 15 minutes will be ones that impact your life in a major way so why I bring this up to you he is a few years back I was having a little bit of a challenge and when I said challenge is I think when we first start in life when we go to be successful our challenges show up all the time because that's what we're doing that's who we are that's what's going on but later on when we start doing okay we don't want to take as many risks so for me I was having a couple challenges with two areas of my life my health was okay but I knew it could be better my business was very good but it was average for what I was capable of how many of you can relate to this and I couldn't figure out why even though I knew what to do I had the friends I had the contacts I knew what I needed to do but why was I having trouble taking the action what was I doing that was missing and I'm the guy that teaches action and I'm having trouble getting myself to do it and then I did the exercise again for myself and it went a little something like this how many of you have ever done a Facebook live anyone ever done one how many of you ever noticed that when you're on social media there's things that show up in the background that you didn't know we're there anyone know what I'm talking about all right yeah so imagine for a second this is the first part of the exercise imagine for a second there was an outsider in your life a consultant somebody you hired and this is such a good exercise that you can do today tomorrow next week next month I don't care if you make a hundred million dollars a year I don't care if you make a million dollars a year I don't care if you're overweight or underweight or whatever it is this will work for you so I want you to imagine for a second that there's an outsider that you hired a consultant and they came into your life and they said to you I'm gonna watch you for one week and I'm going to honestly tell you what about you that you currently do so I played this game with myself and I said what if an outsider watched me how would they be honest now what an outsider consulting that was nice and kind would they say to you you're a jerk you're rude you're mean would they say that stuff what would they say they say honest tough they'd say things like this to me Michael you're a hard worker how many of you been plagued of being a hard worker you're a good person you're very scattered how many of you other people have a TD like me I always say if you don't have it you should get it because almost every rich person I know has it I remember once someone said to me this a Michael you have a TD you mentioned and I said yes a dynamic disorder and the reason I like having a dynamic disorder as it made me a lot of money allows me to focus on many things at once and also keep track of my presentation at the same time so the outsider was looking at you how would they say your life looks what would they say what they'd say you're a good person they'd say you're unorganized maybe you like focus they'd say you've got this going on you got that and what's happening is imagine you had a Facebook live campaign following you for a month what would they say you know what to do but you're not doing what it is that you know my question for you is what would that answer be see when you get the answer on that piece of paper you don't need to answer it right now but I'm gonna have you answer it later because in lies the situation is how would they see you see if I played a game called I go first I literally would say a good guy who means well who knows what to do that doesn't always do what he doesn't always do what he does what he says to other people that he's gonna do but for some reason he holds back and he knows he can play bigger but he's not doing it how many of you can relate to you're just like me how many if you can relate to that I spoke for you and the reason it's important to see you from an outsider is the outsider will be less critical than you the second question is going to take all of you back in time now how many of you remember this little activity you played a little activity when you were a kid and some of you young Millennials were the Millennials any Millennials in here okay yeah one gray Hey okay cool now what's interesting is there used to be this thing we would do when we were kids about five years old called riding a bike how many of you remember riding a bike now I want you to think about this for a second when you first learn how to ride a bike when you set out to learn how to ride a bike what was the number one reason you wanted to ride a bike let's scream out the answer what's the reason what was the reason you wanted have fun right okay what else what's the reason you want to go to your girlfriend's house at 5:00 good job okay what else anybody else we you want it not exercise okay now I believe the number one reason you wanted to ride a bike when you first got started was very very simple you wanted to learn how to ride a bike so you can ride it how many of you would agree that was the reason so you went up to that thing you went up to that bike and you said to the bike you said got it I'm gonna ride you I'm gonna ride this thing and you're five six years old no training wheels on the bike and you walk up to that bike and you put one leg over the other your parent puts you on it and instantly you learn that you don't know what balance how many of you degree you didn't know what you didn't know how many of you get that if you do say I do and then your job is how do I want get balance and then how do I steer and then eventually you go to your friend's house but I was having a challenge working out about uh probably about three years ago and I couldn't figure out why and I asked myself the magic question the same question I asked you for any activity you have in your life whether it's relationships whether it's health whether it's business here's the question that I asked and it's simple I asked what was my original reason for getting started working out and it went back in my head or what was your original reason you wanted to be successful or what was the biggest reason you wanted a relationship or what was the original reason and I went back in my head for working out I remember being 13 years old how many of you remember being a 13 year old gangly boy anybody remember that ladies almost I was about six foot four about 140 pounds and I had to work out because I played ice hockey and I didn't want to get killed the other reason I wanted to work out as a kid because it's part of a team work right and also when you're 13 years old and you're a boy you want to impress what what do you want to press girls right because they like guys that could pump iron and workout they want to look good right so I'm about 30-something and I'm wondering why am I not wanting to work out and I realized that if I hit anybody now I go to jail it's not like hockey I also realized that I'm not part of a team anymore I also realize impressing girls and being married don't go well together how many of you agree with that it's not good right my wife's here not good so I don't want to do that and I said I can't work out and then I realized I'm gonna have to come up with a new reason so I want all of you to think about this the original reason why you decided to be successful see for me the reason I got stuck in business for a little while and wipe some of you may be stuck my original reason for getting started in business was to be free one of my original reasons to start business or to be successful in life was I really wanted to be a person that could survive how many of you original business plan if you took it down to a bank or your original financial plan was to survive how many know what I'm talking about it was to survive it was to get by it was to do just get by so then I'm sitting here in business years later and I'm surviving and I'm free but I'm not getting what it is that I want so what I recognized this for a lot of us we need to change our reasoning for things when I talk about influence it's simple words that make a difference like I have a zillion words I can teach you that can make anybody say yes to anything you guys wouldn't want to know those would you okay I'm not gonna cover those now I'll cover that another time but the reason I bring that up is there's also words that move you the second I stopped exercising because it wasn't good at anymore and I started training everything changed for me I didn't have a negative reference for training but I had a negative reference for exercising when it stops surviving in business and I started realizing I needed to make my business about something else that's when things started to change so looking back to your original reason why you chose to do something like what's the reason you got into a relationship I was bored well now you're not bored anymore what if the original reason you got started in a relationship was to find someone incredible in your life to share your life with and to make their life better how many of you realize your relationship would be different but the majority of our decisions that we make in our lives are based on us getting out of the problems we currently have how many of you realized that your current situation that you have right now was probably indirect result for you to solve a problem you had in the past how many of you know what I'm talking about if you do say I do what I want to do is get all of you past that point right now by asking the last magic question in the last seven minutes so you go home and you play with this you look at your life what was my original reason for doing this and the last question is simple but I'll ask you to just close your eyes for a second and I am from Jersey I'm not gonna steal your wallet don't worry about it okay don't worry about it they got that stigma right so with your eyes closed or open whatever you choose I want you to imagine that your original reason was solved I want you to imagine that when you go home you already passed that thing that you had in your way you already have more confidence than you had in the past you're already doing more of the things that you really want to be doing you're feeling the way that you want to feel you're making things happen you already solved your financial worry because you already have survived you're here you had the money or the courage to be here if you stand in that possibility that you're already living more of the way that you wanted here's my question for you what would you do now what decision would you make leaving here because at the end of the day the biggest thing that I learned at that seminar years ago was this is not the event the real event is your life when you leave here the real event is you open up your eyes right now is what happens on Monday the real event what happens on the drive home when you leave here today the decisions that you make so the question you want to ask yourself the last question if we had more time I would go through this over and over again is to ask you this one very simple thing if you could stand in the possibility right now that you were already living the way you wanted to live what would you make your life about when I talk to business owners they say it's not just about getting by because that was your original business plan how many of you would like to be more profitable how many of you would love that raise your hands how many of you like to stop having a relationship but how many of you would like to be massively in love if you would say I would how many of you would love the ability to have tons of money in the bank how many of you would love that how many of you instead of working out how many of you would like to have a ton of energy if you would say I would it's all going to depend on how deliberate you get and I'm gonna challenge all of you to think about this last exercise that I'm gonna do with you because when I talk about the word average I've recognized that every one of us have developed a life for ourselves that keeps us stuck and the reason it keeps us stuck is when you start doing well in life you start doing better than you did before we develop a box that we put ourselves into and the reason we develop this boxes is to contain what it is that you currently have so you don't lose what it is you have but whenever you put yourself in a box there's only one way to get out of it you can either bust your head and hope to go through the wall or you can learn to grow now I'm gonna ask you not to destroy yourself right now I'm gonna ask you to grow your focus on what it is that you're doing so I'm gonna draw something fun out here right now to help all of you out how many of you're learning right now if you are say I am how many of you realize if the influence is on you when you look in the mirror how many of you were seeing that if you are say I am and the magic question I'm gonna ask you the last one right now is this I want you to imagine that you have in front of you what I would call I guess the best way to put this is I don't drink but imagine it was a martini glass in front of you and another shape of a martini glass and it looks like this straight down and it looks like this straight down and there's three sections inside this martini glass and people say Michael why don't you drink and I'm not four against you drinking or not drinking but here's my belief on it people ask me all the time Michael you're really successful of what you do what kind of genes do you wear you're successful at what you do what did you eat the other day people will see me like taking something out of my fridge at my house on a video what was that ketchup you had what kind was that so I figure let's say you got an alcoholic in the room and they see me drinking how many of you realized I've just inspired them to drink him and if you get that I'm careful and I'm not saying what to do or what not to do and I don't care what we do alcohol or not whatever you do is your choice but I'm gonna teach you that when you understand the last piece of this how influential all of you really are so think of this you've got this martini glass what I want to do with the shouting in the room is to think about the most important things in your life now I know we can divide this into three very important sections so if you guys can help me out because I have three minutes and I'm not gonna work with comatose I got to work with alive so we need to think about this right now from this side of the room what is one of the most important things in your life screaming out family how many of you guys family how many of you love your family how many we got family you'd like to get rid of I get it I get it so family they can't see family again family and how about we put in that box spirituality was that part of family too I'm gonna be able to put that there family spirituality and health all in that box that's one thing the personal stuff now outside of family spirituality and health what else do you have in your life this side what do you got financial Shh draw money thing Shh how many of you want more of that if you do say I do some of you like how many of you owe more money if you just say I do got it and then what other area is important in their lives we'll keep that one put that in the family that's where the family came from and the last thing is a little something called your skills what does it folks your what how many of you got some ridiculous skills if you do say I do how many of you can make a mean pie anybody how many of you are really good at golf okay how many of you got some stuff you're really great at okay so you've got skills family relationships health money so I want to play a little game here real quick and say Peter was right and there are gonna be some challenges in the world in a very very kind nice Terrace shows of your house and the kind nice terrorist says I'll be kind about this but I need one of your three things inside that martini glass you got money you got skills which can help you get more money and you got your family how many of you would give up your family first how many would give up the money immediately if you would say I would isn't that interesting you spend 90% of your life working to make more money 90% if you're worried worried how you're gonna make money 90% of your time how am I gonna get more and instantly you'll give it away like that so let's say this guy is really aggressive this terrorist guy comes back he goes money wasn't enough I need more you got two options right now you're gonna give up your what skills or your family in your health what do you guys getting rid of which where we spend our day working on how many of you realized we spend 90% of our lives away from the people we love we spend 90% of our times not taking care of our health not doing the things we need to do most of us need a direction we need more of a focus in our lives and I'm going to tell you that focus is going to come in very simply when you understand this one last little piece of the puzzle how many of you recognize that your life is designed to do more and I'm gonna tell you the secret that's gonna change everything for every single one of you as one very simple word and it's a desire for you to accept what I didn't accept years ago said I didn't understand it I come to an event after event after event like this and I'd come here looking for the answer not for my business necessarily but for that part of my heart that says I know I'm capable of more how many of you got that burning desire that says you know you're capable of more how many of you realized that it's the decisions you make today that are gonna make a difference if you care about that one side and you want things to change we've got to change the focus and if I could sell you on anything today is a very very simple thing for you to look in the mirror and understand I don't care introverted or extroverted any of you are how many of you recognize that if you accept how influential you are as a human being that you're showing up in the world is influential that if you smoke a cigarette you're either getting someone to start or stop if you realize for the next 3 months that everyone is following you and watching you would you live differently my challenge for all of you is to accept how powerful influential you are and if you do that over yourself and you get how powerful you not over others over yourself that's when your life will change realize how inspiring you can be stop being average and start being all you can be

Channel: SUCCESS Magazine

Views: 10,267

Rating: 4.7708335 out of 5

Keywords: SUCCESS magazine, personal development

Id: NhNOgcYcUGo

Length: 30min 16sec (1816 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 26 2017