How To Be Fearless Under Pressure

okay you win by far the most requested breakdown of the last several months is here Thomas Shelby if you're not familiar Tommy Shelby is the mastermind behind the peaky blinders gang and Empire and while I think this goes without saying don't be like Tommy in every way he is traumatized violent and all sorts of anti-social in many ways but he does have two main traits that can have a huge impact in your life first he remains calm in the face of incredible pressure which second allows him to outsmart just about everyone so what's first a into what you can learn from him when it comes to staying cool in pressure situations and then how you can use your wits to come out ahead spoilers through season five to follow first off perhaps the most noticeable thing about Tommy is that he rarely over reacts in situations of extreme pressure Tommy's calm nonreactive demeanor is extremely unsettling to his adversaries but even more important it's in this remaining calm that he's able to put into practice all of the other strategies that were discussing in this video so this piece is foundational now Tommy wasn't born cool as a cucumber none of us are he developed this trait through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations first in the war and then over and over and over again in the course of his rise as a gangster the same principle applies in our lives if we want to remain calm in certain situations the most reliable way isn't simply by focusing on keeping a straight face or a deadpan stare in fact the more you think about your facial expressions when you're nervous the more likely you are to actually blush so even though people notice the unflinching face the best way to get there is through what's called exposure therapy essentially you put yourself into less challenging simulations of whatever difficult scenario you're about to face so if you're going to interview doing a mock interview with a friend or even touring the building that you'll be interviewing in can go a long way to calming your nerves on the big day or if you want to be more comfortable in social situations saying a single extra sentence to a service person can challenge you without triggering total panic but Tommy's experience also shows us what happens if you expose yourself to overwhelming situations rather than gradations of slightly more challenging ones when overwhelmed you can become traumatized and while you may retain total coolness and stressful moments you will inevitably find destructive coping mechanisms to deal with what you haven't faced and in the later seasons we see Tommy's mental stability breakdown as suicide becomes more and more of an option so as you're building towards fearlessness don't rush into fast it can be counterproductive now outsmarting people requires more than just composure Tommy often has to persuade people that have every reason to hate him and he exhibits three powerful tools that regularly keep him in control the first is his use of state breaking questions watch OD Oddfellows want you to know that any deviation from your instructions will have consequences you don't know when we're under pressure our natural response is to go with the flow and passively accept the conversational pace set by someone who's in a position of power over us however in doing so we surrender our power during that conversation which in a negotiation usually leads to an unfavorable deal this state breaking question is a seemingly out-of-place question that breaks the one-sided conversational flow and from there conversation is much easier to steer in a new direction in this case Tommy uses it to assert his power despite the fact that he is imprisoned visited your sister boy interestingly when Tommy does have power he doesn't allow others to divert it away with their own state breaking questions he simply continues down his original path rather than answering them he's a criminal profile to make his actions explicable to the police as is when did you worry about the police Bobby Thomason who's gonna kill an MP your life you probably don't want to use this to introduce threats into a conversation but it can be an incredibly persuasive tool especially when someone's emotional state is preventing them from moving forward productively for instance if someone is feeling upset asking a random light-hearted question can snap their state for long enough for them to consider more empowering possibilities and we saw this in the video that we did on Tony Robbins getting people out of depression what makes you hate yourself is it the red shoes well is it the red shoes so keep this in mind when emotions yours or someone else's get out of control asking a seemingly irrelevant question gives you the opportunity to retake control of the situation and move it towards a more productive solution now a simple question isn't going to instantly put someone on your side in fact other people can be counted on to continue to pursue their own agendas which is why we often see Tommy get what he wants by finding a way to align his needs with the other person's for instance when he wants to prevent Kimber from assaulting grace he doesn't appeal to his decency he says this she looks good on the outside but just a pop yeah or watch here as Tommy tries to convince another faction to join him in a war against the Italians he doesn't appeal to honor or to doing what's right but to doing what's good for Alfie Solomon still there it's against the law if coming in and they like what they see now in order to do this effectively you cannot imagine that other people want the same things as you you must try to first view the world from their perspective now I know this may sound obvious but so few people follow this advice instead they offer others what they would want never getting anywhere so before offering help you need to make sure you understand the other person's world which is why Tommy comes to these meetings already understanding the position and temperament of the person that he's going to be speaking to distillery provides one tenth of your income protection is another ten percent of the rest you might realize drugs now you keep it go in the drawer I know you keep it beside the whiskey on now you offer a day like that and if after all of your research on someone you're still unclear on what they want you can always just ask them in the course of conversation I want to know what you want one concrete area that you can put this to use in your own life isn't connecting with someone that you might like as a mentor say is CEO and influencer whoever the internet makes it easier than ever to get in touch with these people but it also means that they get more of these requests than ever before so rather than the typical let's chat over effie research a particular problem they may have and then offer to me to discuss how specifically you can help this is a much much more effective way to start that relationship but be even beyond this particular scenario the point is that one of the best ways to get what you want is to seriously consider how you can get other people what they want it activates reciprocity and creates allies that can open up incredible opportunities now this brings us to the next point when Tommy really needs something done he doesn't just solve someone's problem he gives both the carrot and the stick which is a much stronger motivation when you're trying to affect large changes watch proposal booked your Suites if you need anything in this city just mention my name also in the envelope is a check for five hundred pound for your wife with your body should you break the terms the wife's like some people are motivated more by the prospect of gaining something others by the fear of losing something and all of us are motivated when there's a particular path that it's wages both of those desires which is why Tommy makes sure to hit on both whenever he needs someone to be all in on one of his plans you can see it again here this time he does it in reverse order if those guns reach belfast your life in the force is over when I've achieved what I've set out to achieve I will let you know what to find the guns you'll be a hero you'll get a medal this is a far superior persuasive strategy than simply commanding or threatening people and it's incredibly helpful when you're trying to inspire any group of people so whether it's in school or work when there's a team of people that you're trying to move towards a common goal or if it's in business when you're trying to explain the value of a product that you're selling don't just talk about what someone can gain if they follow your vision but instead on what they might miss out if they don't now this takes us to the last piece which is truly what makes Tommy Shelby so unique and probably why so many people love him and it's his ability to turn trash into resources lemons into lemonade zazz the phrase commonly says but I wouldn't actually use that phrase because it's most often used to describe Mae getting the best of a bad situation in Tommy's case he makes a bad situation better than if it had never happened in the first place for example when there's a failed assassination attempt on his brother's life he doesn't just look at the bright side of things that his brother is alive he uses that attempt to spread disinformation telling everyone that Arthur his brother is dead which buys him time to recuperate and then eventually surprise and kill that season's big baddie lukitch and Greta similarly Tommy is told that he needs to kill his friend Danny was being to avoid all-out war with the Italian gangsters clearly a bad situation but he makes it work out better than if he didn't have to by using it as an opportunity to fake Danny's death which gets him a man who can operate in London without anyone even looking for him and it also gets him a hiding place for the guns that he stole at the beginning of the season the supposed grave of his friend a place that no one would even think of looking now this might seem like could only work in a scripted dramas but this strategy of turning trash into resources is how some of the most elegant and brilliant solutions are created in the real world and it can be a trash situation or it can be literal trash like in the case of boy and slot who is cleaning up huge clumps of trash in our oceans now most people see the problem of litter and pollution as one that they might like to tackle but the economics just don't work until you have the breakthrough idea of viewing the trash that you're trying to clean up as a resource which is exactly what Boyan did selling the massive amounts of plastic that he finds in the ocean to recycling plants cleaning up the ocean and building a profitable business in one fell swoop the point is the bad things in your life may only appear bad in a particular context if you could put those things into a completely new and different context you can turn something that everyone else overlooked into a valuable resource so an extremely powerful question to ask when you're frustrated or you wishes circumstance wasn't the case is how can the thing that I least want become valuable towards another goal of mine now as we talked about part of the reason that Tommy can remain calm and confident enough to come up with the best solution to this question is that he suffered serious trauma in World War one but if you're interested in remaining calm and confident I don't having to go through any World Wars I think that the fastest way to do so is with our program charisma University it is a step by step guided program that is guaranteed to give you more charisma and confidence in just 30 days and you can read all about the details in the link below but usually the strongest way to talk about a course like this is to let the actual members themselves do the talking so here are just a few of the things that Cu members have written in the first one is I had confidence in some areas of my life but not in others then charisma University changed that for me since beginning the program I have seen noticeable changes in my life it has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it it costs less than half the price of one course at my college but it has had far bigger impact on me than any traditional class I've enrolled in now this next one comes from a woman who works as a clinical psychologist she says I absolutely love the content that Charlie has created and I'm happy to pay for the modules I'm a clinical psychologist looking for material that could help my clients who have social anxiety charli's material is exactly what I was looking for so excited to be a member of charisma University and this last one comes from a guy who got promoted to a senior position early in his career he says I don't even have a Bachelor diploma yet they want me to fill this position and when I asked why this was the answer you have great social skills which is rare for an engineer you can think quick on your feet and you're open and self-assured in your demeanor thank you so much for all that you taught me you have truly changed my life because without Cu I wouldn't have qualified for that position in a million lifetimes and you could see more success stories like those in the comments if you decide to join the course if you do the course comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee which is 100 percent for any reason at all and at 60 days even though the course is only 30 because we want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value from the course so if you want to check the course out go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description we've had thousands of members go through this course and get a ton out of it and I'd love for you to do the same either way I hope that you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one [Music]

Channel: Charisma on Command

Views: 7,885,436

Rating: 4.9318748 out of 5

Keywords: charisma on command, charisma, charlie houpert, charismaoncommand, charisma on command thomas shelby, thomas shelby charisma on command, tommy shelby, peaky blinders, how to stay cool, how to stay cool in high pressure situations, charisma on command peaky blinders, thomas shelby, how to stay calm, how to stay calm under pressure, thomas shelby charisma breakdown, how to outsmart people, how to outsmart anyone, how to be fearless, fearless, be fearless, how to become fearless

Id: Hbj4tfokhYc

Length: 13min 29sec (809 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 11 2019

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