How To Achieve The Life Of Your Dreams | Jon and Missy Butcher with Vishen Lakhiani

[Music] you [Music] I'm standing here guys in what is possibly the most amazing home I've ever been to I've been living here for the last 24 hours have we been shooting a special master class with John butcher I've never been in a space that seems so beautiful that is so filled with the most spectacular artwork that is designed to be in tune with nature to inspire people to think in unconventional ways this home itself is a masterpiece of but the man in this hole is special because what he's created is a masterpiece of a life John is an outlier in every aspect of life he showed me that all the ways we've learned to define success in our life from the time were little kids to high school to college a lot of that is absolutely rubbish and that they are entirely new dimensions of success which are emerging in the world today which are unconventional controversial that truly are going to lead to you building much as the happy life but a legendary one so let me tell you a couple of things about John butcher and why you want to be paying attention to this man who may gonna be bringing onto MindValley Academy the first thing is John is not a personal growth author he's an entrepreneur the chairman of the board of the Precious Moments family of companies that has done ten billion in sales in the past thirty years they create those beautiful porcelain dolls that you may have seen everywhere in the world and while doing that he has started 20 additional companies a couple of stunning facts about John John is in his 50s and recently he released a blog post that showed his body at the age of 29 and 49 take a look at this image this man has somehow been able to defy aging but it's not just health and fitness John is a grandfather he's got two grandkids one under way for children but you know he's created a life around his family and his kids so beautiful that his kids do not go to regular school John instead travels the world with them he's been to half the world's countries he has said my children will learn more in the bazaars of Egypt than in the American public school system he is completely intact the idea of raising kids raising grandkids and schooling but now let's talk about his relationships I have never seen a man and woman more in love and committed to each other than John and his wife Missy thirty years together and they have booked one of the most mind-blowing lee role model relationships in the world but there's more john is able to create a life where he can pursue his passions with ease he just became an artist this year in his fifties he has sold over a hundred grand worth of his part work he is now being asked to create art pieces for celebrities around the world and his work is astonishing now John's secret is really simple but it's unconventional and as a secret I wish every American and world public school system was teaching their kids it is humanity's loss that this is not mainstream his secret is a model he calls life book see John accidentally became a personal growth legend and this is what makes him an outlier all of the other billionaires are spoken to are unconsciously competent they are good at what they do but they cannot retrace their steps and teach you John is consciously competent he's built a formula that he's applied to his life diligently for the last several decades and he started teaching it to people it started with a few close friends and then it expanded then he started inviting people into his home where he would have facilitators to come and teach them this for me this formula guys is called life book I took it with my wife five years ago and it radically changed my life and that's why for the last five years have been trying to convince John to come on camera to bring him onto the mind valley community so what you're in for here is a tree you're about to witness something that we have never done before we are bringing not a guru not an author but a brilliant outlier a man whose ideas are so powerful they have the potential to shake up every single thing you think you know about success about happiness about fulfillment stay tuned for an upcoming masterclass with the one and only John butcher hi everyone so because John and Missy butcher talk about such a wide variety of topics often when we bring them on stage at a fest we go deep into a different topic so this particular time on stage is their second or third appearance on a pastor right thank you third and we're gonna go into another different topic and this time the topic is very very very important to the idea of envisioning as I share with you on day one of a fest the problem when you have deep visions that that pull you right Michael the Reverend Michael Beckwith said you can be pushed towards a vision in which case you need motivation and it probably means that the vision isn't really for you or you can be pulled by a vision in which case there's so much joy and relentlessly pursuing that vision but you that you cannot help but be successful getting to that vision because the vision pulls you but there's a dark side to that you can be so pulled by a vision because it's so important to you it's so important to the world that you forget everything else and this is why if you actually look at the statistic of many people who are leading these game-changing companies in Silicon Valley if you look at the statistic they're having and these are some of my friends they're having issues with their kids they've lost that bond they're having addiction issues to drugs or alcohol Elon Musk confess to the New York Times that he cannot sleep without pills like ambien they have health issues obesity is rising relationships are falling apart that's the dark side of vision this conversation is about how yes you can have a vision that pulls you but how do you stay true to that vision while still being conscious of all the other dimensions of your life what makes John and Missy butcher unique is they came from really humble backgrounds right like when you guys met Missy you were 17 you were 17 farm girl and you guys met you got you you programs what you stretching out you do a broke musician and buying goods in a grocery store then Precious Moments takes off Precious Moments went on to become one of the biggest art companies in America mmm does it has done thus far 12 billion dollars in sales in all of a sudden hundreds of millions of dollars are flowing through the butcher household they build a house so amazing that Oprah is featuring it now to most people this would break them this would completely up their lives because you can't go from poverty to that level of wealth without some degree of light things going wrong because your consciousness just isn't ready for it and indeed they went through they will tell you about losing siblings losing brothers to alcohol and addiction but what made Shaun and Missy unique is that they channel that energy and they despite the sudden boost and wealth they ensure that all the other dimensions of their lives were whole or conscious and grew alongside that's true man that's gonna be the conversation well I'll tell you what happened was that we busted up through all that I mean the life book was born in our darkest hour I developed a horrendous anxiety disorder where I literally could not I was housebound full full-blown agoraphobia it's called couldn't even leave the house like drive out of the driveway so like you said we we felt that we kind of fell apart and and I think that the thing that we started with was the basis of our relationship we had that's what we have yeah we had a foundation so we had our relationship so we everything else just kind of happened around that but we have that anchor that those roots you mean and then from there we got but literally how life book was born and I don't think I've ever told this story at least not on stage how life book was born was from that the most difficult emotional experience that we've ever gone through so I had to figure out how to put my life back together like I was I was probably at that time CEO of five different companies like vision said it was just a few years into this massive friggin we went from a year to just like you know and and it was just too much and we were burning the candle at both ends and self-medicating with alcohol and drugs and just all the things that you know that happened and so I just had this total crash had a couple panic attacks in a row didn't know what that was and just basically became dysfunctional like I couldn't III called all of my managers and I was just like I'm not coming in to work tomorrow I mean you're gonna have to get along without me no transition plan no nothing I'll let you know you know further notice when I cuz you couldn't actually leave the house no I was completely well going to a psychological disorder and then what my what happened was my dad was watching late night TV one night and he came across Tony Robbins personal power to and he ordered it for me this was 1991 or something he ordered it for me and said John I think this might help I had never heard of personal development before in my life so I was like whatever I'll try anything and so I listened to this this program and it really did help a lot it's one of the first really great courses right so I got a little bit of a foothold or at least I got pointed in the right direction I mean Missy helped me through sex was rough I could never ever have gotten through without her but all of a sudden I'm like okay this program sort of pointed me in the right direction and gave me hope that I could get back in control of my life and so I started doing personal development like I discovered it so it's Wayne Dyer Rose Deepak Chopra it was up to grace you know the badasses back then and I kept all of my notes in a little binder like my breakthroughs my the challenges that I want to work on the goals that I had best practice best practices and over the years this little binder just kept growing and growing one year I realized hey it would be great a great idea to categorize my goals and my breakthroughs and start keeping track of like all the love stuff here all the health and fitness stuff here all the business and financial stuff here so I broke it down and I started thinking about what are the most important areas of life to focus on in order to really get clear on the person I want to become in the life I want to live what do we have to master on this planet as a couple to move into the direction of our ideal life and I think that's a key lesson that Jon Missy so if you're looking at 360 life vision mmm you want to look at all consider Corey's night lovely to list the categories in the 12 categories that you looked at mmm you guys heard Patrick Grove six categories yesterday you heard Cameron Herald's five categories again notice doesn't matter whether it's six or seven or you add what's important John hat 12 right you're welcome to copy John's 12 that's what I did but you choose two categories the thing is the categories are simply meant to ensure that you're not just obsessed with the tiny slice of life that spoon says is important you know choose your career and your bank account right exactly so but notice what John said he and Missy did it together so why do I observe my hands while you're being holistic this way you're also being called the fearless when you're right yeah you are involving you are sharing this vision with your business partner and your team you are sharing this vision with your partner right for example John and Missy their visions intertwine and by the way if you look at the okay our process remember I spoke about how all cars have 50% up 50% down it means that when you're coming up with okay ours for a team it's coming from the leader but it's also coming from the team members the reason for that is again holistic shared like vision so keep in mind it's 360 this way that's your life it's 360 this way that's being inclusive of the people within your business or your love relationship or your family's awesome distinction so how to create a 360 life ition according to our methodology is to think through each individual category of your life and really dial in what it is that you want in each of them and then you roll that up into one singular compelling life vision and if you're doing it as a couple it's a really interesting process because for instance the first five categories of life book are personal life categories they're your health and fitness your intellectual life your emotional life your character and your spiritual life those are you separate from the rest of the world so a husband and wife those two categories are going to be different her health and fitness goals and strategies will be different than mine but when it comes to categories like your love relationship parenting your financial life you better have the same visions or you're gonna be in trouble so love relationship parenting financial life you want to ensure that your visions overlap yeah a parallel well our deal is are as identical as possible our life vision is our life that's right and it includes my stuff and his stuff and we yes so we have we have we have different different goals and strategies in the personal sections of our life book but we have one life ition and we've always had one my fishing and this is what this is the target this is what we're moving towards as a couple all of our energy goes there and what's so beautiful you guys is it's a North Star it guides your daily choices and actions it's a decision-making framework that ensures that you don't go flying off into left-field and find yourself you know two years down the road where the hell am i how did I get here now this keeps you on track like visions been saying so many people get you know obsessed with a couple categories well this makes sure that you never get too far off sometimes you have to make sacrifices if you're starting a company you better be prepared to make a few sacrifices because that's how life goes but using this sort of methodology you never get too far off track without coming back to Center because you're conscious of all the important areas of your life what do you got to say about that girl I think that was great so so this is a question for you guys on those those categories that coincide right mm-hmm what process do you go through are you guys going in a retreat together and coming up with the life patience really do it separately and then collaborate we have three important connection rituals the first is our daily connection when are you talking with daily connection ritual is just because we work together we've worked at home but we don't always work in the same space or on the same things so every day after work we either take a bath together or if weather permitting we go out and we take a walk and we connect on everything that we each did that day challenges and opportunities and even kids stop whatever because I have found that if we don't do that every single day and a couple days go by I'm like I don't I've lost connection right mister I'm not feeling like I don't even know what's going on with him I don't I can't feel him I can't write you know understand his emotional state so that one is a mild one but it just ensures daily connections are big ones daily I think that one's actually very big yeah because it ensures that we always and then every week we have an overnight date this is the biggest love relationship strategy we have this is number one and this was hard when you have little babies and you have kids and but it can be done yeah it can't be done and every week for the last 30 years we've had an overnight date no matter where in the world we are without the kids to ensure our love and sex and romance fashion life and play is dialed is the big thing and visionary talk a lot about our life vision on those dates that's one of the big topics of conversation you know always but our big our life vision trip is usually once a year we go to a spa somewhere or spend like two weeks somewhere in the woods and just go deep in our overall life issues yeah how did we do last year what are we doing next year and just so you know we are this is so cool we're leaving here from Bali we're going home we're packing our and we're moving to Hawaii so this is been this has been a seven this boom we bought this property 17 years ago and so we work on a pretty much a five-year our life fishing is usually five years out and what's so funny is this this Hawaii move in 2014 that was our five-year life vision and then 2015 it's like you know what that's gonna be a four year vision now it's a two-week vision we're stuck we are literally stepping into a brand new life like the last 30 again amazing the last 30 years have been epic but the next 30 years equally epic hopefully but very very different our whole life so we'll let you know how that goes that's really amazing thank you so so let's get a sense okay of how to create a 360 vision so Cameron Harald if you listen to the podcast that I gave you access to he speaks about the 5x and for him it's Fitness bait which is your spirituality family friends finance dosa cameron herons heralds by s and then Patrick Grove has his success and he adds two more figurehead which means he wants to be a thought leader he wants to mean she wants to inspire which is really cool I've never heard anyone add bigger head and then he added fun to him fun is an essential part of life right yeah now so those are that those are two models now let's hear the life book model which you came up with the remember before it was the life book model this was joining Missy Spock right yeah so this will you have wealth categorize and you guys definitely want to take so the first five you said first five I said which are here's how we've got it divided we have our personal life categories and there are five of them and that is you separate from the rest of the world your health and fitness doesn't depend on anyone else you get to decide what you put in your mouth you get to decide if you're gonna go to the gym in the morning right that that's the distinction there these are your is your personal world then we have the relationship categories then the business categories then we have quality of life so here are the twelve categories the first five are personal life health and fitness intellectual your mind both input and output by the way input would mean studying output would mean writing producing both very important expressing yeah then there's your emotional life that we'd go deep in because at the end of the day that's a big one we all want to feel happy and everything we do is a means to that end that's an important category fourth is your character what kind of a person do you want to become what kind of a person gets the life that you want to have that's a big one and then the fifth is your spiritual life so those are the five personal life categories then we go to the relationships first one is your love relationship your romantic relationship with your significant other second is parenting a wild crazy awesome interesting category and the third is your social life and I'll tell you that one's a sleeper that we that used to be our weakest category by far because we got big families and we spending all of our time together in but when we discovered the power of social life that was a game changer for us I mean just being around a group of people like you guys it turned on vibrating at a high level this is big big stuff for us and it's relatively new then there's the business categories which are career in finance and they're they're connected obviously very deeply connected but they've got to be thought about separately and you've got to develop a strategy for each of them individually because they're very different we know a lot of people that have had an amazing career Tyson would totally jacked up financial life and vice versa so they've got to be handled separately and then the last category we did you give us an example of what you mean by vice versa well there are some people that have that you know Mike Tyson made 350 million dollars and he's you know he ended up broke because he he had a great career horrible financial life I read an article about a Chicago janitor that um saved all of his life and retired a multi-millionaire and bought a villa in the Caribbean and so it can be done either way he had he had a modest career but he handled his finances so well right and and this has been one of our struggling categories is financial because we're Network artists we're not numbers people we're great at making money our big challenge is making sure that we're organized and manage our money well and dial it in so then the last category is call quality of life and quality of life we really look at the things and the experiences and the environments that you want to be surrounded by this is where your boat lives your villa by the sea your trips that you want to take your dream house lives in this category it's it's the beautiful side of materialism living on this gorgeous earth that we live on and being surrounded by the things that we want to be surrounded by and so those are the 11 categories and then we roll all of those visions what you want in each of those areas up into a singular compelling life vision and how we do that which is the 12th category of life book and how we do that is we we we try to get to a synopsis of what that looks like so for Missy and I we've worked on a two-page synopsis of our ideal day and we wake up in Hawaii and this is exactly how we spend our time and it's very different than the last 30 years and so that's been our target every choice we make and every action we take we try to make sure no matter what category it's in that it is consistent with that target it's kind of happens right you get really clear on your vision where you're going and what you're what you're all about that's your North Star like Gemma saying and then things kind of just well sometimes they can just start falling into place just with that clarity and then you start with the intention and the allowing and that's how a lot of it is just getting clear on it yourself you will automatically start to take right action you'll you know you'll know what you want not just is like that's where we're going all right I'm gonna start doing some stuff and then the universe inspires around you right well it really does work that way so and guys we're gonna give you a chance to ask questions by your Twitter to join and Missy I'll be looking at your questions on my my smartphone so John and Missy as you continue talking guys if you want to ask a question just follow me on Twitter I'm gonna post a request for questions reply on Twitter we will choose the questions from here it'd work really well with Jason so I'd love to ask a question to you guys I'm just so I can get a feel for where you're at how many in here feel like you've got a pretty solid dialed-in vision for the life that you want to live pretty pretty much 360 how many how many feel that raise your hands good and high okay and how many feel like you got a ways to go in that area okay that's a pretty standard how many of you are intimidated at even the thought of trying to trying to think through this and really set a vision for your life yeah it can be yeah it can be a job yeah it can be a thing okay that's great so it's about about 50/50 it it feels okay good wait so when people go to a life book and they go to these twelve categories you have them go to a very interesting thought process now Patrick Grove spoke about this yesterday right he says he gets away from his his life his careers his businesses and he goes deep and starts journaling and many people do that in an unstructured way but you have four questions right that you ask in each category or and tell us about those all questions okay go for it you know me too this is philosophy this is your jam all right mmm so life book the life book methodology well let me tell you the deliverable first you you leave this program with a hundred and twenty page vividly illustrated book that you wrote yourself about the person that you're gonna become in the life you you're gonna live every life book is different because every person is different so this is an empty system that you fill up with your own stuff which makes it completely different than any other personal development program out there meaning the valuable information in this program comes from you not at you so that's that's the context so there are twelve categories and in each category we ask the following four questions and this is what makes up your life book the first is premise premise is a fundamental belief that other beliefs are based on what do you believe about health and fitness what do you believe a proper love relationship is what do you believe about parenting so we help you and this is hard to you know we hold your hand on this we really get you connected to the beliefs that have been controlling your behavior the financial beliefs and if one of them is the love of money is the root of all evil you're gonna have problems doesn't matter how great your goals are your strategies if you've got that fundamental underlying belief it's gonna jack up your behavior and and you'll end up sabotaging yourself so those beliefs are so important to route them out and John you you also have very unique beliefs about for example your health right and aging and so what you believe about the world tends to become true for you so it's really search rich it's really crazy how believes walk while react well let me tell you about that that picture that visions places it all over the Internet but here's the thing you guys I never set a goal to be in better shape in my 50s than I wasn't always an illustration of life vision how it can really yeah this is exactly what vision was just saying totally what I did have was I had I took that 29 photo I put it in my life book and I said that's me that's who I am that's I'm gonna stay that way it was a belief and again what happens when you dial into a belief this is a microcosm of what we were talking about when you have a clear life vision you just start to make the right choices and actions like I wasn't perfect you know I but I knew that that's what I wanted to be I didn't have to set big goals and didn't I didn't accomplish that through a through a program or a strategy that happened naturally over time just because your beliefs control your behavior and my belief was I was always going to be a strong muscular an athlete for the rest of my life super-powerful I don't want to leave the belief because believe seriously they they absolutely whether you're conscious of your beliefs or not it's right they are what form your entire life because you're what cares for all your behavior control everything because your belief is your belief and you have all these possibilities and thoughts that come in all the time well if you don't have whatever your belief is its weighed against that thought is weighed against that belief exactly so you choose the thoughts and the possibilities based on your beliefs and then your actions are done through that same process so it's like there's we can't talk enough about the importance of belief but we have to stop we've got three more things that we don't have so here's what we do at life but though we help you root out limiting beliefs that need to go and and then we help you replace them with more empowering beliefs that it will take you where you want and these are your beliefs they come from within you we help you find them they're not our beliefs your each and every person's belief empty system yeah okay second second question is what precisely with clarity do you want in this area of your life what do you want what is your ideal vision for yourself with health and fitness what does your ideal love relationship look like find the courage within you to ask for what you really want because that's the only way you're gonna get it and so we get you so clear on what your highest self looks like and you guys that's such a valuable thing you know a few people have a concept of what their highest self looks like in every important area I mean that is a massive way valuable thing so what do I believe what do I want why do I want that what's the purpose behind that belief what will I gain if I achieve it and I lose if I don't that's your fuel that's your that why you want something will determine whether or not you're gonna get it because most people know how to lose weight stop putting so much food in your mouth and move around a little bit more I mean that is basically the general deal it's why that will make the difference between whether or not you do it and then the last question we ask is all right if that's your vision for this category of your life what do you need to do to get it what's your strategy so the life book process is simply answering those four questions across the 12 categories of life what do I believe what do I want why do I want it and what do I need to do to get it that's awesome thanks ma'am John in the 20 minutes we have left did you want I know you were gonna take us through a life visioning guided exercise did you want to do it in this session or did you want to do it off - no I think I don't think we're gonna do that because I think our time is better spent you guys we've we're on our third life vision right now and we have gotten our asses kicked we've had big successes we've had big failures and we are here to add as much value as we can add any questions you have that we can help with to either save you some of the trouble that we've gone through or give you the best tips that we've learned along the way we're here to help so questions have come in so I'm gonna stop asking questions just respond to Twitter follow me at vision respond to my last tweet so Essman baring asses this question one subconscious beliefs have been discovered around the various areas how do we remove these beliefs god damned Missy we could ask that question and you know guys truthfully we're not experts at this I'll tell you who are the experts Marisa Pierre you guys all know her she's a badass she's so good at this Lyonne goodman has an entire system called clear beliefs here's what we've discovered though we've discovered that sometimes just getting conscious of a belief that you find that is left over from childhood that's that's hurting you and holding you back sometimes just getting conscious of it can be enough to blast it out of your life and put her know and I think that's how we that's how it works for us so that's the only thing we can really share it's like from our own experience but there are some really good programs out there that can they can really walk you through that other times you have to coax those beliefs out of your life they're there they're sticky they're tricky they don't want to leave sometimes you even need professional help to get rid of them but so so we're not experts in that but like miss said consciousness is a massive massive tool I mean anytime you just are like okay wow I can see that now and your subconscious is like yeah let's not do that again right so you really can make changes like that and the way our relationship is and just the way our personalities are if we do uncover a belief that's been holding us back we go after it and we frigging kill it and we kill it together and this is another thing we are accountability partners I mean we we I don't let him get away with any and he does the same for me right thank you so you through that's a big that's a big help in our in our little system which means this you guys what that really looks like an action is if if something's coming up if one of us are behaving badly and if we identify you know where's that coming from let's go deep into that that's the way to find that's the way to root these things out and then we can work on it and and bringing consciousness in the moment like I remember years years ago I was really struggling with being judgmental I was raised in a very fundamentalist Christian household and it just came with me it just was like I was carrying this around for so long I was so judgmental of others that weren't like me when in my earlier years and I was like John I really got to get rid of this he's like yeah you really do and so we've worked on and I was like just yeah bring it up anytime you see it just put it in my face and it was a wait it's hard the first few times I was like and I'm gonna give that up right now yeah and but that that's that's a really good way to have it you know have it with accountability is like hold on you just hold up a mirror you're doing this right now you didn't want to do this and that's that's been very helpful so so let me give you guys a framework that you can use right to rewire beliefs this is the mind valley framework and yeah actually we use this five it's called the five praxis of to optimize a human being for transformation we use this framework to put on an event like a fest we use it to design a quest we use it in mine Valley University so there are five ways you can you can speed up transformation and transformation comes from changing someone's worldview which essentially means changing someone's belief removing damaging beliefs and her own thing more empowering belief so the first one is critical reflection which means you take time off you go in your journal you write everybody should get a journal like book is a form of critical reflection bringing consciousness exactly your conscious that the second is studying writing what and what this means is sometimes you will change your belief simply by reading a book reading an autobiography a man a woman who have done something of great really you absorb their beliefs you read something about Elon Musk and you realize I too can be bold the third one is social discourse this is what happens when you guys get together in a group and have conversations with each other nice so you will find that an event like a fest often you develop healthy new beliefs through conversations for example I'd want to take let a fest I remember we were in a beach in Hawaii and I sat next to this guy and he's my admission I want to do this and this and this I'm like where are you living he goes I'm living in Idaho I'm like it'll get the out and I recommend it I recommend that he moved to Encinitas where there were lots of eight that's just moved to Encinitas and you know he helped start a tribe this was they Maxwell he still helped connect a whole bunch of entrepreneurs and Encinitas and more and more a festers moved to an citizen soon there was a thriving community of entrepreneurs having regular social discourse helping each other elevate they are gay amazing now the the next one is application this means you actually apply what you're learning that's you continuously apply what you're learning you cannot help but transform yourself right beautiful I love that vision so and then the fifth one is the most interesting get this guy's it's called altered states so altered states is often overlooked when it comes to transformational theory but many people actually use forms of altered state training by far according to Daniel the number one form is meditation that's why you'll notice many of our teachers guide you through a meditative experience when we started a fest and I made you see your future self that was a way of getting you into an altered state now when it comes to out altered states as Jason Silva said you can access them using different things there's a brain training there's meditation there's pharmacology there are many different ways that meditation is by far the best way of accessing an altered state this is why many people who meditate regularly they automatically shed certain linear beliefs so you can use these five practices we're not going to repeat them for you okay so the first one is critical reflection journaling etc second is study watching a TED talk watching an a fast talk taking a quest third is social discourse good conversations with good people this is why you are the some of the five people closest to you fourth is application getting out there and actually doing the work getting out to gym doing your life book and fifth is altered states which means a meditative or any form of practice that lets you access altered states good stuff ma'am so we have a couple more questions that came in on a patel asses how often this join and Missy review and check in on their life book we go through probably every two years yes depending on where we are where we are in our life vision process through twice in a row because this is Hawaii vision you guys was so friggin intense because we got to get all our companies basically automated there was so much to do for this one that we we felt like we had to go through life book twice in a row we usually don't go through slavery through our master course we did like a whole thing we did the whole thing for a year and then we take I take a life vision trip together but we're not in our life books every day and the only reason is because we've had one for 25 years so we know it but we you know when when you first start out you'll want to really spend a lot of time with it but but now we're sort of but we do redo our life book probably every two years that's right on average cuz it changes your life is dynamic you can't think through this once look at even like the category of parenting you you got to be in that chapter every six months your kids are different human beings every six only so you really got to keep up what really life book is a practice of consciousness practice a lifestyle you got to continuously be conscious of your life put energy into it at all time so that you you know you grow and you keep cultivating so the next question we have this is actually similar questions Danielle coalition and David Wayman are you guys just raise your hand Danielle can listen in a treatment so they bought asked a similar question will you be offering in-depth life book workshops in Hawaii or by a zoom online yes next question great sure and tow Paul asks can we talk about category thirteen so he loved talking about category thirds but uh hey guys if you are part of mind elementary it used to be called consciousness engineering we're changing the name we're giving it a more telegraphic name MindValley mentoring uh it's like eight bucks a month something like that and you get access to all of these like incredible mentors so the category thirteen conversation and documentary film are now included are they yes great so mind Ali mentoring is is expanding to include a documentary film channel document high quality productions but all our authors including category thirteen okay it's like eight bucks a month you can watch it on your app and there there's a 90 minute video that goes deep in category thirteen which is basically the power of sex to fuel someone's really excited about that how would you explain category thirty well here here's what it was so life book we look at the twelve categories of life and that's what we spent the last 25 years doing but all through that Jade are you in the room close your ears our daughter I'm sure she's feeling really so all through those years we had a secret like our secret category we call that category 13 which is our sex life and like this is one of the things that we made a commitment early on in our relationship probably first year right baby yeah sure yeah that we were gonna that we were gonna explore eroticism and sensuality deeply that's been one of our massive focuses and so we've we've always had this sort of off to the side we've never shared it with anyone then when vision finally druggists up on stage thank you totally grateful we got connected with beautiful people like you we decided to share it for the first time and and we made a we made a short movie a short documentary on just the incredible power of of sex intimate connection that a couple can experience and specifically taking that energy taking that power and transmuting it to other areas of your life which is by the way a major chapter in the book Think and Grow Rich that most people don't remember is chapter 11 it's called the the power of sex transmutation and so this documentary is based on well it's based on our experience we didn't discover that Napoleon Hill had discovered this a hundred years before us until we you know read the chapter in that book but it's one of our favorite subjects to talk about and so just go to mine valley.com for what slash mentoring just enroll there the documentary goes up this week or next week and you can watch it there along with like hundreds of hours of other like great trainings Betty rocker is this Betty iyan room hey buddy so Betty asked us this sometimes I think I stopped myself from seeing further because I'm afraid I won't be thinking big enough and I'll miss something how can I stop being such a perfectionist okay so you guys I think in the next session that we're gonna do after lunch what we're gonna share with you is we're gonna share our five-step process for achieving your life vision that we've dialed and this is part of our mastery course and that questions going to get answered in the next session but you want me to go ahead and give this enough yes so the next session with John and Missy is gonna be more on how to have that relentless fomentation in a commentation one habit you don't know where your delusion discipline it's gonna be on how do you go there how do you get there right so in SK Jones in SR you in the room please raise your hand the heights are so blinded in SS I'm wearing that okay so in this asses what would be your advice if you and your partner aren't in alignment on the relationship categories is it best for the light book session together or separately it's always best to do it together it is if you're both into it we have a lot of couples that drag their you know when the husband drags the wife or the wife drags the husband and by day four we almost always completely win them over because the process is so different people expect to come and and be taught in a room that's not what it is you're the your wisdom is being drawn out of you and you're seeing it happen it's an amazing experience but a lot of times you want to talk about this video well a lot of times like John saying there's we get this question a lot and it's it's tough because it depends on where you are in your relationship if you're in if you're in an all-in relationship and you're like you're totally devoted this is a devotional relationship right then you've got another job your job is compassion your job is patience your job is to put a container around that it's that partner of yours and and you know gently coax them out and help them with their with their struggles if you're in a relationship that you're not so sure then that's a different story you really have to decide where you're at because it is really a super touchy like if you guys are growing and ones taking off and one's not oftentimes this one will go down lower as this one Rises right and it's there so truly yeah the danger is obviously when one of you is committed to personal growth and the other isn't is that you'll grow apart to the point where you're so far apart there's nothing you can do about it anymore but here's the thing about life book for couples there is no better methodology that we've ever encountered to get a couple on the same page in err every area of life than this methodology because what it does is it opens conversations in every major category of life that you can use as a platform because here's the thing guys 90 percent of the problems that you will experience in your relationship will be because you're not on the same page in one or more of these categories he's a spender she's a saver he's a discipline and she's lenient with the kids this is where couples get knocked off-course and and get into mire and muck and miss and I very rarely fight but when we do or or argue but when we do it's only about stupid because we've got nothing important to fight about nothing important at all to fight about we are so aligned and all the important stuff and if we're not like because we've been going through a massive grossberg's we're getting ready to step into a new life and sometimes we're like okay he's here and I'm here we'll just say okay we're not this isn't gonna we're not gonna answer this right now we gotta wait because there's gonna be something better that incorporates either both or something that trumps both and we have lots of good conversations yeah that we get curious about each other's point of view she's smart she's got tools I don't have she's unbelievably and intuitive and and I've got my you know we've both got our areas very different if we're seeing things differently yeah we want to know what's that all about and in almost always we come to a place that's better than either one ask and that's perfect because I mean Dean who's in the audience asked us this question how do you handle relationship conflict when it arises okay you you should take no sweetie well you just you just do the SmackDown well usually what happens is we'll you know if it's a heated thing we've discovered a new a new way of doing when we have a really like heated argument like there's a lot of passion or there's a lot of you know there's a lot of stuff around it well get in bed literally is nice and no it just hold each other and I usually lay on his chest or I'm not looking at him but I'm completely connected to him we're both totally pissed at each other we're like it's amazing so I'll just but the thing is you have to drop into a place in compassion and you do if you're if you're really truly in that space together you can drop in and just talk about and then you just say here's how I feel here's what happened inside of me I'm just gonna tell you my thing same goes this way and then through that process you get to bottom line is you guys communicate you know case you know everybody says that it's like an overused word but it is absolutely the key to any relationship any relationship period and the deeper you can get the more courageous you can be no more compassionate you can hold space so 100% yeah negotiate yeah there's lots of negotiation there's yeah but you know there is that but there you know what there isn't there is never any compromise we do not believe in compromise that that question guys please don't shout out as discussed we weren't able to pick it up in the mic it won't get on the video I'll repeat the question you'll repeat the question it's the negotiation she can get me to do anything she wants basically so if I need him to make a video but here's an important thing we do not believe in compromise ever we do not believe that one of us has to give up our idea or vision for the other there is always a better solution and either one of us thought and this is the thing when you get curious about your partner's point of view right when you're there seeing it different than I am why is that that's a smart frigging turned on person there I want to know what that's about and and so there is no compromise we talk about it until we reach the solution that was better than either one of us could have come up on with on our own yeah that's fantastic now Jade whom I'm presuming is your daughter Jade wants to know issue your favourite child [Laughter] well yes this is gonna be the heir hello I will say this though I will say this she's the only one we'll bring up come on stage [Applause] hi this is Jade no I tell each one of us are 18 so the reason I asked to have to come on stage is because David cavity who's in the room David could you raise your hand please hey David great great so David harity a success this would you explain for us how parenting the parenting aspect of life book is still valuable or a single person or couple without children yes we get asked that a lot to you right yeah okay so there's a bunch of ways to look at the parenting category you were once a kid you had parents or you have parents right so that's the way a lot of people that don't have kids or don't even want to have kids is though they'll think about their relationship with their parents as the child which is super profound I've actually done that before when I've gone through life book another one is children are our future you guys I mean they're the ones that are gonna be running this when we're all dead yeah so they're super important whether you raise them or not it's important to be a good example to what is possible to the upcoming generation so I feel like no matter what it's a valuable cattitude super guard to go through yeah and what non parents are people who don't want to have kids they don't spend a lot of time there they don't you know do that do the build-out and all the thinking but just watching a dial in parenting philosophy and understanding what people go through that have children and you don't have that experience and how unbelievably it just is amazing and invaluable to have that and even if you don't plan on having kids it's useful to know this stuff in case you have an accident great thank you so much John in the same [Applause]

Channel: Mindvalley Talks

Views: 248,131

Rating: 4.876997 out of 5

Keywords: how to change a belief, goal setting, how to achieve your goals, how to achieve your most ambitious goals, goal setting for kids, limiting beliefs, how to remove limiting beliefs, how to live your dream life, 9 daily habits that will help you lead an extraordinary life, design your ultimate life Jon & missy butcher, lifebook jon butcher, lifebook mindvalley, lifebook online, how to make dreams come true, how to make dreams a reality, how to make dreams into reality

Id: 1gnrKHSlInM

Length: 51min 31sec (3091 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 28 2019