How the world can change us, one encounter at a time | Stephanie Rutt | TEDxAmoskeagMillyard

you and I have the power to change the world one encounter at a time think about that change the world Oh way too big for me but I'm here to share with you how we can change the world one encounter at a time it's all it takes just one at a time and our world is in desperate need of change of help we are living in times that are so divisive challenging we're speaking past each other not hearing each other more and more isolated and alone politics religion and growing economic inequality is causing massive barriers between us and yet we can decide to change the world one encounter at a time so if we see a person who doesn't believe as we do or we see a person who doesn't vote as we voted if we see a person who doesn't live as we live we can still connect with them instead of making them the other and we do that sometimes don't we I do that doesn't think like me didn't vote like me doesn't believe like me the other don't we do that you know I see some heads nodding here but something really sad happens when we see the other in that way fear and suspicion rain communication becomes strained how do I talk to these people and most of all there's a tendency sometimes to dehumanize them even demonize them and the tragic consequence of that is that we no longer see our common humanity we no longer see was the same and all of us it's blocked out it's lost can't find it don't see it don't hear it because that person is the other history has really shown us that it is not good to travel down this trajectory think about it the Trail of Tears slavery of Africans the Holocaust when we stopped being able to see there's my brother there's my sister there's a human being a child of God I don't see that anymore so today I'm here to share with you three instances that have shown me me as the student of these instances that it is possible to begin to change the world one encounter at a time so the first one happened right after the election of Donald Trump and my husband and I are in a car and we're driving through New York City and we're listening to talk radio and people are calling in and they're expressing their feelings about the election and there was so much anger on both sides this one particular woman called and she was so angry she was so angry at all of those that were protesting his election so I'm listening to this woman and I am getting angrier and angrier and angrier and angrier mm-hmm I'm right in there with her I'm her other she's my other there we were hey we all have our others don't we so I'm listening along getting more and more angry more and more angry more and more angry and then she said three words my daughter died and a little bit later from a drug overdose and I can remember sitting in the car and my heart stopped Oh God all of a sudden in like half a second I could see everything through her eyes I could see all of her concerns about border control illegal immigration health care costs financial strain I could see it all through her eyes it stopped me cold and I have to tell you if I could find this woman I don't know her name I don't know where she lives maybe she'll see this talk you know if I could find her I would invite her to my home I'd make her a cup of tea I'd say share with me your story and I notice in this place it's no longer so important for whom she voted nor is it important that we might part on the same political page that's not likely to happen but it doesn't matter because now we're connected by something beyond belief we all have beliefs we all need beliefs and thank God they're different how do we learn from one another we're not all gonna believe the same thing how boring would that be now we're connected by that common humanity I don't even know where she is she's my sister I stand with her I would stand up for her because I'm a mother and I have daughters and I can feel what it would be like to lose a child I know her she's not an other to me anymore she's in here and the second time I'm in my hammock a sunny day having a great time just feels really nice got me head bones on listening to music and I think I hear voices and then I feel a little tap on my shoulder excuse me ma'am and I looked up and there the Mormon missionaries on my patio now I don't know about you but it wouldn't matter to me what denomination or religion people are they're coming on to my patio to have a conversation with me about believing the way they believe I don't know in the house close the door yes right whoa avoid avoid lock the door pretend we're not home but on this day on this day I was happy and spacious and open and hey sit down on my patio table no I did if I weren't used to getting a lot of welcomes like that and they said well you know what do you do you retired and I said no I'm an interfaith minister and I'm pleased to serve the Tree of Life interfaith temple [Laughter] I kind of got this within a scenario they were trained yet I'm not sure what that is are you Christian and I said I love Jesus I love the Bible but I believe that God has expressed through all faith traditions silence and then I will well you say you believe in the Bible when you believe in Jesus have you been saved oh my god a million times every day you don't want to even know how many times I'm say and then the really exciting part happened because I used this love to ask him something I'd always wanted to know I said you know it must take an incredible amount of courage to go door-to-door with your face I'm not sure I could do that knocking on doors you don't know who's gonna answer what mood they're gonna be in throw tomatoes at you welcome you in you don't know talk to me about that tell me about that tell me about that how did you come to God and what has brought you to my patio today tell me about that they started sharing their stories and I think we sat there two three hours they shared their stories I shared more my story and along the way we figured out that we had both made clothes for foster care children our faith communities and by the time they left important I was no closer to becoming a Mormon they certainly were no closer to becoming interfaith but just like with the caller we were now connected by something much larger than our beliefs for me I can't speak for them but for me so when they walked that down my driveway my friends they're my friends help me run into each other in the grocery store or something I'd love to see you again not the other to me anymore they weren't here I stand with them and the last example this was about ten years ago I was driving in Cambridge Massachusetts another beautiful day I got the windows down the music set up I'm singing I'm having a great time and I come to a stoplight there I'm at the stoplight and then I noticed one of those homeless men coming the ones with the sign I think quick light change quit James now quick he's getting closer what's wrong with the light why won't it change do we do that by graciously the light didn't change though he comes up to my door and I look up and I make eye contact with him and it was only half a second half a second but I understood what Mother Teresa said when she said we look but we don't see we look but we don't see because in that moment I saw him I saw him I reached down and I picked up my wallet took out the first bill I saw he handed it to him he thanked me kindly and the light changed and a way I went who have a second and I have never looked at a homeless person the same way since or anyone that lives in stark poverty I think about him sometimes I think Wow what was his first day of school like do you take the school bus someone drop him off do you learn to ride a bike his first crush what were his dreams well were his hopes for his life and what happened I don't know where he is but he's not another to me he's in here so yes indeed not only can we change the world one encounter at a time more importantly the world can change us one encounter at a time one encounter at a time may each of us begin to hear those encounters see those opportunities notice what is right before our eyes so we too can create a different world future where everyone matters and graciously there are no others thank you [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 144,136

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Compassion, Relationships, Religion

Id: HTtZgDJyknY

Length: 17min 57sec (1077 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 04 2018