How self improvement ruined my life.

you're not broken you're not doing it wrong you're not an idiot you're just in a process this video is going to be titled something to the effect of how self-improvement ruined my life or the self-improvement conundrum I'm not sure but we're talking about the Paradox of self-improvement and how ironically when you step onto a path of self-improvement or call it what you want like a spiritual journey or just having a realization that you're not fully content with your life as it is and so you start to take action to change it yeah let's do it I'm pumped let's Let The Healing begin to be honest my life wasn't bad before self-improvement I had a pretty cushy life living in the city work in a regular job in a bar making good money I had an incredible social life I was out and about every day doing all sorts of things there wasn't really anything wrong with my life but the reason that I ended up ultimately changing my life was because I was missing something I had all of my basic needs my my social needs met but I just felt like there was something more that I wasn't tapping into and I said to myself well I could continue living this life for say like five more years or something but ultimately I'm gonna give it up because it's not what I want my life experience to be all of the time and so I had a distinct moment of realization one day where I was like I need to stop doing this and I need to start doing more things that actually interest me with regards to business and Artistry and all that stuff so the way that that manifested for me was like this I quit my job because my Visa was up so I couldn't work anymore I was living in Vancouver at the time but I had met a friend a couple of years before and I randomly bumped into her on the street one day and she told me about this island that she was gonna live on and that there was a Yoga Center there and that I could volunteer there if I wanted to so I was like okay that sounds like a terrible idea and so I didn't bother doing anything about it but then one day I kind of got curious and I was like hmm maybe I should check it out my Visa was up I didn't want to leave the country as such but I couldn't work so I was like well what can I do and this seemed like it might be an appropriate fit so I went on to their website and sent them an email then a few days later I had an interview with them via video call and they invited me to come and hang out there for the summer and so that's what I did but the thing is over there it was a completely different way of living than what I had experienced in the city there was a very slow pace of life people were all into organic farming yoga swimming naked all of these things that weren't as prominent in the city now this is really tricky because I've just gone from a life of socializing gossiping drinking lots of beer and having lots of money to this new life of going to bed very early sleeping in a tent in the forest talking about God and other such spiritual Notions and people aren't really into partying they drink kombucha there they do yoga they don't you know go out and smoke cigarettes so it was kind of like a dichotomy from what I experienced and obviously if you drop something like alcohol gossip and all of these low vibrational things you could say or toxic things maybe is a better word for some people it's going to be pretty difficult to integrate and assimilate into this new way of living because it's like at the time I was 23 so I lived most of my life up until that point with these sort of you know negative toxic traits and then I was around people that were actually consciously trying to reverse those straights and bring more positivity into the world you could almost say it's like a rebirth which is obviously a very daunting thing to go through so this is the thing about getting onto your self-improvement journey it's gonna suck initially because you're comfortable with the things that you've been doing and then when something comes and shakes it all up all of a sudden you're like wow I need to reinvent myself I need to relearn things I need to let all parts of myself die in order to allow new parts of myself to flourish and that's really confusing some people never get to the point where it's bad enough or they're just not content where they decide okay I'm actually going to make a difference I'm going to change my life I'm going to get up earlier I'm gonna stop jerking off four times a day I'm gonna actually talk to new people and not just stay with the same people that I have known for the last 20 years or whatever and now the other thing is that once you've stepped on a journey you've got to remember that there's people in your life that aren't on that Journey right so those people are either gonna stick around or they're going to fall away and it hurts when people fall away it hurts when you realize that the people that you've known and spoken to so regularly for so long just don't really resonate with you anymore they're not serving you you're not serving them because when you hang out they still want to do this but you want to do that and that's not going to work long term with the mind is like friends from school I gotta hang on to it well actually no they're just your friend from school and you don't have to hang on to them but it hurts to realize that you might need to let go you might think you're a bad person they might think you're a bad person but the truth is if you want to continue on this journey of self-improvement if you want to continue self-actualizing and making positive change in your life you have to be willing to severtise you don't have to be a dick about it but you need to do it whatever that might look like tell them that you're prioritizing other endeavors and you're not willing to go and do that thing today if you do that enough times people they'll just stop texting you they just won't want to talk to you you don't have to have a formula sorry we're breaking up but just let it organically happen live your life be honest with yourself be honest with people and I got the message and you're going to get tested like this all the time like when I was living on that island in the Yoga Center I decided to go back to the city for a weekend for a festival and when I got off the boat onto the the mainland I was absolutely shocked and overwhelmed by the amount of people by all of the transport all of the cars buses the fact that nobody was communicating with anybody everybody had their earpods in and were on their phone and it was just weird because I was coming from this island that pretty much had no signal they are completely different worlds now when I moved back to to Ireland from Canada which is where I was on that island I was then faced with my parents my family and all old school friends and everything and my old town and all of this stuff right and that was really difficult because I just went into this depressive slump I didn't feel understood I didn't feel seen I didn't feel like I could connect with anybody and I was so dead set on telling everybody about all these wonderful things I learned about but the truth is nobody really cared not because they didn't like me or they didn't like the ideas they just weren't interested in changing their lives in the way that I was interested in changing mine and that's fine but our mind doesn't think that's fine a lot of the time and we start to blame other people for how we are feeling because we're struggling with the integration of our new self and then we need to assimilate into these spaces but we need to do that with the Integrity of the vision that we have for ourselves going forward so maybe that means you don't hang out with the same people maybe that means you don't do the same things maybe that means you do new things instead maybe you eat different maybe you eat in different places you're probably gonna have to do a lot of stuff by yourself but the beauty is that that's how you're going to meet more people that are actually on your vibe that are actually on the same trajectory as you I've done this myself in my hometown I just go to random places by myself and I often meet new friends and I've Got Friends now for years that I've actually met through this same process of just going places it's beautiful because then you start going to places together and then you meet other random people and then you all start going to places together and before you know it you have a community of people that are actually committed to a similar way of living as you self-improvement will ruin your life at first because it's effectively killing an old version of you when you start to walk that path you are all alone there's no two ways about it like you're you're a loner and people don't get you people think you're a weirdo but that's part of the process because you need to get ostracized in a sense so that you can find your new tribe and so it's like an ebb and flow it's like you know an up and a down type thing in your whole life you're going up you're going up you're going up then you hit this plateau and you're like oh I'm doing okay financially you know I've got cool friends you know we hang out we talk about stuff we go snowboarding whatever but like I've been just cruising here for a little while and I'd like to go higher but the thing is this version of you can't go any higher than that and that's when you need to disassemble certain parts of yourself and that's when you crash right but then after some time after some patience and perseverance you will launch even further beyond that Plateau but you got to go through the suck you got to go through the dip you got to go through the bear Market if you're into investing you'll know what that means nothing goes up in a straight line any Grand return comes over a sustained amount of time but you got to keep on investing your energy into the right things for you to ultimately continue on upwards so at the beginning of this video I said that you're not broken you're not doing it wrong you're not stupid you're in a process that that's what I've been speaking about is all of that the reason you decide to take action to change your life that's the beginning of the process and then your life starts changing that's also part of the process things get better for a little while as you you know connect with new people cool that's part of the process as well but then there's other aspects of your life like your life is a huge web right there's so many people involved depending on like how adventurous you've been in your life you might know a lot of people in a lot of different places and they're all going to have different attitudes and different values so as you start to refine the people in your life and the habits and activities in your life then you'll start to come to a new Baseline right and that Baseline is going to take time to get to and you're gonna often dip below it at the beginning as you start to build up that potential within you to reach the new highs and this happens on so many levels it happens on the level of friendship it happens on the level of nutrition and exercise it happens on the level of business or work you know a lot of people they go from working a nine to five for somebody else to starting their own business and you know a lot of people that get on this sort of self-improvement thing they are from going to like coaching or yoga teaching or something like that and I did that myself like I went into facilitating yoga and mindfulness workshops and classes and that was cool and I learned a lot from that and I started creating content and all of it failed it didn't work out I was not financially independent I was living with my parents I eventually got depressed and just left the country again which was the next phase of my process and then I came back and I gave it another stab and with that Foundation that I built in the previous year I now understood better what doesn't work how to deal with people differently how to you know share my message with people and it's a constant journey of refinement it's a constant process and I don't believe that anybody is ever going to get to the end of that process so if it sucks right now good job you're doing it right if it sucks tomorrow great cool just know that at some point if you persist if you maintain discipline and if you maintain that Vision in your mind and take action that's aligned with that Vision you're bound to succeed it's a process that's never going to end so stop worrying about reaching the tip of the mountain because when you do you're going to see another Peak self-improvement will definitely ruin your life at times but on the net it is always going to be positive my friend I believe in you and I hope you believe in you too check out this video to see how traveling ruined my life and I'll catch you in the next one

Channel: thedavidboland

Views: 639,556

Keywords: self help, motivational video, self improvement, self love, self compassion, spiritual journey, mindfulness journey, mindful living, self development, spirituality, awakening, community living, sustainable living, self actualization, nathaniel drew, better ideas, james jani, slow living, how to deal with anxiety, burnout culture, hustle culture, the cure to anxiety and depression, matt d'avella, aaron doughty, prince ea, cole hastings, hindz, hamza, fake gurus

Id: yz1BYG8PY_I

Length: 12min 29sec (749 seconds)

Published: Fri May 05 2023