This video is supported by viewers like you. If you want to help me make more things like
this, consider supporting me on Patreon. Thank you. Ask the average Viennese what the coat of
arms of their district looks like, and answers will range from: "Pfff, I dunno ..." to "There are district
coats of arms?" And just there's the hitch. Close to no one in Vienna has any clue of
what these coats of arms look like, or that they even exist; They're hardly present in the cityscape, and even at district offices you gotta search
'em with a magnifying glass. Well ... let's have a look at one. Döbling. Great example of a bad coat of arms. Filled to the brim with junk, so you don't
even know where to look, and the subjects so extra tiny, that you can't
recognize a single one from afar. Not that special, though. They've all got a recognition value of -28
or so. With one, single exception. But I'll keep that one for later. First, some history: Before 1850, Vienna was small; like, about
a kilometer in diameter small. Until t'is decided to tear down the city wall
and gobble up the surrounding towns and villages. These municipalities are integrated and combined
into bigger districts. 1903, with the construction of a certain church
outfitted with all kinds of coats of arms, the plan arises to provide the districts with
coats of arms as well. So they simply take the seals of the former
municipalities, put them on one shield per district, splash some color on them, and finished are
Vienna's district coats of arms. Only, they're kind of a mess. A seal's a sign of authenticity for documents,
so must be hard to copy, meaning, complex. When you don't recognize a seal at first glance, you simple take that piece of parchment and
hold it extraclose to your peepers. Coats of arms, however, work at a distance. When you're on a battlefield or at a tournament, you need to be able to know who that nobleman
in the metal suit is from a hundred meters away. Which means you can't simply use the design
of one for the other. A seal as logo, for example, also seems really
clumsy, dear University of Vienna. But don't mind me. *loudly slurps cocktail* Newer district parts can, at times, be represented
with clear imagery, like this one, but the old, seal-inspired parts are practically
always way too crowded, like this one, where the archangel Mikey slices up a dragon
with a holy lance. To accommodate every single district part,
they squeezed up to 10 subjects into one single coat of arms, which shrinks down all elements, and makes
it ever more chaotic. Lovely idea, but what good is being represented
in a coat of arms that no one recognizes? Just imagine they'd done the same thing with
district names. Not that practical, no? Same with coats of arms. That's why that church that started the whole
district coats of arms thing isn't decorated with those up to 10-subject-filled monstrosities, but with a max of 3 subjects per shield. More and you wouldn't've been able to spot
anything at all on there. And yes, over the course of history there
have been really complex coats of arms, but 1: That doesn't mean they were any good,
and 2: Nobles had professional heralds, tasked with
reading and attributing coats of arms. No matter if the common beetfarmer could recognize
the most noble count who just kicked him into the muck by his coat of arms as long as heralds could. Today, coats of arms should be readable not
only by an elite, but everyone, so be simple. How to do it right can be seen with the secret
district coat of arms of earlier. The one of the Inner City. A white cross on a red shield. So simple, so good can it be. You might even know that one already, since
it's also used for the city of Vienna in general. At some point they thought it wise to add
these weird 3D borders to the cross, which are featured in the appendix of Vienna's
law of symbols, but not actually described in it, but who cares? Certainly not I. *cough* In any case, the city coat of arms works like
a charm. Just look around Vienna for a bit. On every school, all public housing, every poster asking you to not feed the pigeons and clear the steaming piles your furry substitute
children leave behind, there's the good ol' crossshield. And so often there *could* be a district coat
of arms hanging right next to it. But ... not when they look like that. Let's be super real, with extra whipped cream
and chocolate sprinkles: There do not *need* to be district coats of
arms. But: If there are, I'd try to make 'em somewhat
recognizable for people. One needs to ask the question: Should they be complex, historic museum pieces gathering dust, or serve as clearly readable signs of communities? Whether you like they way they look or not, it's clear that the district coats of arms
mean nothing to the people of Vienna. If one wanted to change that, they'd need
to provide good symbols that are easily recognizable. *smooth piano outro music*
