ANNOUNCER: COMING UP ON "MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY & KAREN"... Jimmy Evans: I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN ABLE TO PREDICT WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE GOING TO BE. BUT HERE'S WHAT I CAN PREDICTI AM 100% IN CONTROL OF MY WILL, AND I CAN DECIDE AT ANY TIME, REGARDLESS OF MY EMOTIONS, TO TREAT KAREN RIGHT AND TO LOVE HER THE WAY THAT CHRIST WOULD. SO IF YOU'RE ASKING ME, WILL I LOVE KAREN TOMORROW BASED ON A DECISION, THERE WILL NEVER BE A DAY IN MY LIFE I DON'T LOVE KAREN EVANS. I'VE MADE MY MIND UP ONCE AND FOR ALL, AND I'LL NEVER CHANGE IT. INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE BEGINS WITH THIS SCRIPTURE, AND IT'S JOHN 3:16. IT SAYS, "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE." NOW, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THIS, BUT THE WORD "LOVE," FOR GOD'S KIND OF LOVE, IS A DIFFERENT WORD IN THE BIBLE. IT'S THE WORD "AGAPE." AND GOD'S TYPE OF LOVE IS A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOVE. NOW, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE DEFINITION OF AGAPE. IT MEANS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, LOVE BY CHOICE AND AN ACT OF THE WILL. THAT'S THE SHORT DEFINITION. THE WORD DENOTES UNCONQUERABLE BENEVOLENCE AND UNDEFEATABLE GOODWILL. IT WILL NEVER SEEK ANYTHING BUT THE HIGHEST GOOD FOR ANOTHER PERSON. IT DOES NOT NEED A CHEMISTRY, AN AFFINITY, OR A FEELING. IT IS A LOVE THAT ENDURES THROUGH ANY CIRCUMSTANCES OR DIFFICULTY. AGAPE IS A LOVE THAT EXCLUSIVELY BELONGS TO GOD AND GOD'S PEOPLE. NOW, LET ME SAY, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED, AND WE KNOW STATISTICALLY THAT ABOUT HALF OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIVORCE. AND THEY'RE SAYING NOW, IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED AND "FALLING IN LOVE," THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. BUT WHAT WE ABSOLUTELY KNOW, THAT IN MANY CASES, THAT LOVE WILL NOT ENDURE. WHEN THEY'RE SAYING TO EACH OTHER, "I LOVE YOU," THIS WORD THAT THEY'RE USING IS NOT AN ENDURING WORD. IT'S SIMPLY NOTIT'S NOT STABLE ENOUGH TO PROVIDE THE FOUNDATION FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP. AND WE KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT FAIL, BUT ALSO ALL THE MARRIED PEOPLE THAT ARE STILL MARRIED BUT THEY HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE, WHICH IS, AGAIN, A VERY COMMON THING IN OUR CULTURE. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO KAREN AND I. SO I'M NOT CRITICIZING ANYBODY, 'CAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DID. I LOVED KAREN, TOLD HER I LOVED HER, FELL IN LOVE WITH HER, WE GOT MARRIED, STILL LOVED EACH OTHER, BUT AFTER 2 OR 3 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, WE WERE OUT OF LOVE. WE WERE OUT OF LIKE, AND WE WERE OUT OF LOVE. WE DIDN'T LIKE EACH OTHER. WE FOUGHT SO MUCH THAT WE WERE NUMB. AND WHEN I TALK TO PEOPLE AND PEOPLE SAY, YOU KNOW, "JIMMY, I DON'T THEM ANYMORE," I TELL THEM, LISTEN, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE WE WERE IN OUR MARRIAGE. AND SO, UNDERSTAND, MARRIAGE WAS CREATED BY GOD. IT'S HIS EXCLUSIVE DOMAIN. AND GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO FLOURISH UPON THE FOUNDATION OF AGAPE LOVE. WE'RE COMMANDED TO LOVE EACH OTHER, HUSBANDS AND WIVES, WITH GOD'S LOVE. WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS, "HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH," THE WORD THERE'S AGAPE. AND SO LET ME BEGIN BY TALKING ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GOD'S LOVE AND OTHER TYPES OF LOVE. AND WE'RE GOING TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS. AND SO, I'M GOING TO BEGINAND DON'T DON'T ANSWER OUT LOUD, PLEASE. DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE? OK. DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE? OK. IF YES, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? OK. JUST KIND OF THINK ABOUT THIS IN YOUR HEART. IF WHEN YOU SAY TO YOUR SPOUSE, "I LOVE YOU," WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? I MEAN, REALLY. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY WHEN YOU TELL THEM THAT YOU LOVE THEM? IF THE ANSWER IS "NO," WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? IF YOU'RE SAYING, "I DON'T REALLY THINK I" YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY, "I DON'T THINK I EVER LOVED LOVED YOU." THIS IS A REAL COMMON THING WHEN PEOPLE ARE DIVORCING. A LOT OF TIMES THEY'LL SAY, "WELL, I DON'T LOVE YOU, AND I DON'T KNOW THAT I EVER LOVED YOU." WELL, ALL RIGHT. IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR SPOUSE, I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU DON'T LOVE THEM? AND IF YESIF YOUR ANSWER IS YESAND I'M SAYING, "DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE?" AND YOU SAY, "YES, JIMMY, I LOVE MY SPOUSE," OK, WELL, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVING THEM AND LOVING HOT DOGS? OR LOVING YOUR POODLE? OR LOVING YOUR NEW PAJAMAS OR YOUR NEW CAR? SHOULDN'T THERE BE A DIFFERENT WORD? DON'T YOU REALLY THINK THAT WE OUGHT TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANIMALS AND HUMANS, OR OBJECTS AND HUMANS? BUT WE DON'T. THE WORD "LOVE" IS A VERY INEFFICIENT, SLOPPY, OVERUSED WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, BUT NOT IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE. THE BIBLE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN GREEK, OR TRANSLATED IN GREEK. AND GREEK IS A VERY POWERFUL LANGUAGE. AND WHEREAS WE HAVE ONE BASIC WORD FOR THE WORD LOVE, THERE ARE 5 BASIC WORDS FOR THE WORD LOVE IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE. SO IF WE WERE SPEAKING GREEKSOMEONE SAID ONE TIME IN THE NEW TESTAMENT, THERE ARE 20,000 GREEK WORDS, BUT ONLY 5,000 ENGLISH WORDS. THAT'S HOW EXACTING THE GREEK LANGUAGE IS. AND MANY MORE WORDS. SO WHEN YOU'RE TELLING A PERSON IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE THAT YOU LOVE THEM, YOU CAN TELL VERY SPECIFICALLY THAT YOU LOVE THEM. SO LET ME GIVE YOU 5 KINDS OF LOVE, 5 WORDS FOR LOVE FROM THE GREEK LANGUAGE, SO THAT WE CAN BE VERY SPECIFIC, NOW, ABOUT WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY WE LOVE SOMEONE. THE FIRST WORD IS THE WORD EPITHUMIA, OR THE WORD THUMOS. IT'S A GREEK WORDTHAT'S WHERE WE GET OUR WORD "THERMOS," BY THE WAYAND IT MEANS PASSION. IT MEANS EMOTION. I FEEL HOT. I FEEL PASSIONATE ABOUT THAT. SO WHEN WE'RE TALKING SOMETIMES ABOUT THE DALLAS COWBOYS... [CHEERING] I'M POINTING AT ALL THE OTHER TEAMS ACROSS AMERICA. [LAUGHTER] YOU'RE IN FOR IT THIS YEAR. [LAUGHTER] WE'RE GOING TO WIN THIS YEAR. BUT WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOURYOU KNOW, YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM, OR YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT, THAT'S THE WORD EPITHUMIA IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE. SO THEY CAN GET REAL PRECISE ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JUST AN EMOTION OR A FEELING AND SOMETHING ELSE. THE SECOND WORD, THE GREEK WORD FOR LOVE, IS THE WORD EROS. AND OF COURSE, WE KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. THAT MEANS SEXUAL DESIRE. AND SO, IF SOMEONE'S TALKING ABOUT SEX AND THEY'RE SAYING THAT, YOU KNOW, "I'M SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU, I WANT TO HAVE A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU," WE CALL "MAKING LOVE." YOU KNOW, I CAN JUST TELL YOU, YOU CAN'T MAKE LOVE BY HAVING SEX. YOU CAN EXPRESS LOVE BY HAVING SEX, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE LOVE BY HAVING SEX, EVEN THOUGH IT CAN ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE, HONESTLY, WHEN THEY'RE TELLING THEIR SPOUSE OR SOMEONE THAT THEY LOVE THEM, THEY'RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT A SEXUAL FEELING, OK. THE THIRD WORD FOR LOVE IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE IS THE WORD PHILEO. THAT'S P-H-I-L-E-O. PHILEO. THE CITY PHILADELPHIA, AS WE KNOW, THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE. IT'S PHILOS AND DELPHIA. DELPHIA MEANS BROTHER. PHILOS MEANS FRIENDSHIP, A FOND AFFECTION, LIKE THAT. SO I CAN SAY TO MY FRIENDS, YOU KNOW, MY GUY FRIENDSYOU KNOW, I TELL THEM I LOVE THEM, YOU KNOW? I'VE HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS FOR 30 OR 40 YEARS. I LOVE THEM. AND I'LL SAY, "I LOVE YOU," YOU KNOW. AND THEY LOVE YOU, TOO. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS. I'M SAYING, "I LOVE YOU AS A BROTHER IN THE LORD. I LOVE YOU LIKE A BROTHER." SO THAT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE. THE NEXT WORD FOR LOVE IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE IS THE WORD STORGE, WHERE WEIT'S A FAMILY BOND. AND SO, IT'SI LOVE MY MOM AND DAD. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS. I LOVEI HAVE BLOOD KIN, AND THERE'S JUST A BLOOD BOND AMONG FAMILY. SO IT'S JUST A FAMILY KIND OF A BOND. BUT HERE'S THE FIFTH WORDAGAPE. THAT'S GOD'S LOVE. AND HERE'S THE UNIQUE THING ABOUT AGAPE LOVE. IT IS THE ONLY NON-EMOTION BASED LOVE. EVERY OTHER TYPE OF LOVE REQUIRES THE FEELING, EXCEPT FOR AGAPE. SO WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS THAT "GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON," HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT A FEELING. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A FEELING, BUT HIS LOVE IS NOT BASED ON FEELINGS, AND WE ALL NEED TO BE THANKFUL FOR THAT, BECAUSE GOD'S LOVE IS A VERY, VERY STABLE LOVE. WHEN GOD COMMANDS US TO LOVE EACH OTHER, HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT A FEELING. YOU KNOW, THEY CAME TO JESUS AND THEY SAID, "LORD, WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT COMMANDMENT?" AND JESUS SAID, "LOVE GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, SOUL, MIND, AND STRENGTH, AND LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF." WE CAN'T MANIPULATE OUR EMOTIONS. WHEN GOD TELLS US TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR, HOW CAN WE LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR IF WE DON'T LIKE OUR NEIGHBOR? YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ASK METHEY SAY, JIMMY, DO PETS GO TO HEAVEN? DO PETS TO GO HEAVEN? AND, YOU KNOW, I TELL PEOPLE I THINK SO, YOU KNOW. AND IT'S LIKE GOD THAT THERE WOULD BE ANIMALS IN HEAVEN. THE LION LAYS DOWN WITH THE LAMB AND, YOU KNOW. WHY DO I BRING THAT UP? WELL, MY NEIGHBOR'S DOGS ARE GOING TO HELL. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE [LAUGHTER] AND THEY'RETHEY GOT BARKING DEMONS AND THEY'RE LOST. THEY NEED A LITTLE DOGGIE EVANGELIST TO COME THROUGH AND GET THEM SAVED. ANDSO, HOW DO I LOVE MY NEIGHBOR IF MY NEIGHBOR'S IRRITATING ME? WHAT IF IHOW DO I LOVE MY NEIGHBOR IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NEIGHBOR? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE A DECISION TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR THAT PERSON AS GOD WOULD, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A GOOD EMOTION FOR THEM. I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE YOU TO LOVE YOU THE WAY GOD DOES. I DON'T HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU TO LOVE YOU LIKE GOD DOES. GOD'S LOVE IS THE ONLY LOVE THAT DOES NOT REQUIRE AN EMOTION TO FUNCTION. SO I WANT TO GO BACK AGAIN TO SOME QUESTIONS, OK? DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE? DO YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE? IF SO, ARE YOU PRIMARILY MEASURING THAT BY AN EMOTION OR A DECISION? AND I'M JUST SAYING THIS TO GET YOU TO THINK ABOUT THIS. IF NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? IF YOU SAY, "NO, I DON'T LOVE MY SPOUSE ANYMORE," ARE YOU SAYING YOU'VE LOST YOUR DESIRE, THE EPITHUMIA, THE THUMOS? ARE YOU SAYING SEXUALLY, THEY'REYOU KNOW, THE LIGHTS ARE OUT THERE AND IT'S NOT HAPPENING, THAT YOU'VE LOST THE EROS? THAT YOU'RE OUT OF LIKE? YOU JUST DON'T HAVE A DESIRE TO BE AROUND THEM? YOU'RE OUT OF PHILOS, OR PHILEO? WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR SPOUSE? YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT THAT, OK? AND HERE'S ANOTHER QUESTION. WITH WHAT TYPE OF LOVE DO YOU WANT TO BE LOVED? IF YOU WERE GOING TO ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL AND YOU WERE CHOOSING HOW THEY WERE GOING TO LOVE YOU'CAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS THAT WE'RE TO DO FOR OTHERS AS WE WOULD WANT DONE FOR US, THE GOLDEN RULE, OK? SO HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE LOVED? DO YOU WANT TO BE LOVED BASED ON FEELING OR BASED ON A DECISION? AND WE TELL PEOPLE THAT WE LOVE THEM, THAT WE'RE PASSIONATELY IN LOVE WITH THEM, AND WE STAND IN FRONT OF A PREACHER AND WE GET MARRIED WITH ALL THE HIGHEST HOPES IN THE WORLD, AND SEVERAL YEARS LATER WE'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF A JUDGE AND WE HATE EACH OTHER. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT KIND OF LOVE. YOU CAN'T BUILD A LIFE AROUND IT. YOU CAN'T BUILD A FAMILY AROUND IT. IT IS NOT DEPENDABLE. IT IS NOT GOD'S KIND OF LOVE. GOD'S KIND OF LOVE IS A LOVE THAT IS NOT BASED ON EMOTION. AND IT DOESN'T MEAN THERE AREN'T EMOTIONS THERE. IT'S BASED ON A DECISION. SO HERE'S THE DIFFERENCE THAT AGAPE LOVE MAKES AS THE FOUNDATION FOR OUR MARRIAGE. AND FIRST OF ALL, AGAPE LOVE IS CONSISTENT. IT IS CONSISTENT AND KEEPS THE TRUST AND GOODWILL OF THE RELATIONSHIP STRONG, OK? LET ME SAY THIS. IF YOU'RE RULED BY YOUR EMOTIONS, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A DIFFICULT LIFE, I CAN JUST TELL YOU RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE I CAN'T PREDICT MY EMOTIONS. LET ME ASK YOU THIS. OK. SO YOU'RE ASKING ME, "JIMMY, ARE YOU GOING TO LOVE KAREN TOMORROW?" IF YOU'RE ASKING ME THAT BASED ON MY EMOTIONS, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ONE SURE RESPONSEI DON'T KNOW." I DON'T KNOW. BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I NEVER KNOW WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE GOING TO DO. MY EMOTIONS COME AND GO. SOMETIMES THEY'RE GREAT, SOMETIMES THEY'RE NOT GREAT. SOMETIMES THEY'RE NEGATIVE, SOMETIMES THEY'RE POSITIVE. I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN ABLE TO PREDICT WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE GOING TO BE. BUT HERE'S WHAT I CAN PREDICTI AM 100% IN CONTROL OF MY WILL, AND I CAN DECIDE AT ANY TIME, REGARDLESS OF MY EMOTIONS, TO TREAT KAREN RIGHT AND TO LOVE HER THE WAY THAT CHRIST WOULD. SO IF YOU'RE ASKING ME, WILL I LOVE KAREN TOMORROW BASED ON A DECISION, THERE WILL NEVER BE A DAY IN MY LIFE I DON'T LOVE KAREN EVANS. I'VE MADE MY MIND UP ONCE AND FOR ALL, AND I'LL NEVER CHANGE IT. SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. AT 105, SHE'LL THE FOXIEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. AND THE OLDER SHE GETS, THE EASIER SHE IS TO CATCH. [LAUGHTER] SO, I'M SAYING, ARE YOU GOING TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE TOMORROW? IF YOU'RE BASING THAT ON AN EMOTION, YOU ABSOLUTELY DON'T KNOW. AND IF I'M ASKING YOU IF YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE RIGHT NOW AND YOU'RE BASING IT ON AN EMOTION, WHO KNOWS? WHO KNOWS HOW YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? BUT I WANT TO ASK YOU THIS QUESTION, AND THIS IS A REAL SIMPLE THING, AND I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING. WHAT IS THE THERMOSTAT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? WHAT IS THE THERMOSTAT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP? AND THIS IS A SIMPLE ANALOGY. IN YOUR HOME, YOU HAVE A THERMOSTAT, AND YOU HAVE A THERMOMETER, OK? THE THERMOSTAT REGULATES THE TEMPERATURE OF YOUR HOME. THE THERMOMETER REFLECTS WHAT THE THERMOSTAT IS DOING, OK. BUT THE THERMOSTAT IS THE REGULATOR, IT'S THE CONTROLLER, OK. WHAT IS THE THERMOSTAT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? IS THE THERMOSTAT IN YOUR MARRIAGE EMOTION OR DECISION? BECAUSE HERE'S WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT I SAID HERE IS AGAPE LOVEWHAT IS SO PHENOMENAL ABOUT AGAPE LOVE IS IT CREATES STABILITY AND TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP. WHEN I'M WHEN THE THERMOSTAT OF MY LOVE FOR YOU IS A DECISION, IT MEANS I SET THE TEMPERATURE HIGH AND I LEAVE IT THERE. AND WHEN MY FEELINGS COME AND GO, I DON'T CHANGE THE TEMPERATURE. I DON'T CHANGE HOW I'M TALKING TO YOU. I DON'T CHANGE HOW I'M TREATING YOU. I DON'T PUNISH YOU. I DON'T BROWBEAT YOU. I DON'T WITHDRAW. I DON'T FREEZE YOU OUT. I DON'T CUT YOU OFF. I SET THE TEMPERATURE HIGH AND I LEAVE THE TEMPERATURE HIGH. AND WHAT HAPPENS TO THE THERMOMETER IS THE THERMOMETER STAYS HIGH. IT STILL GOES UP AND DOWN A LITTLE BIT. SEX IS BETTER, FRIENDSHIP IS BETTER, PASSION IS STRONGER WHEN DECISION SETS THE THERMOSTAT OF YOUR LOVE. BECAUSE YOU BUILD TRUST. I AM A STABLE INDIVIDUAL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO LOVE YOU BASED ON MY EMOTIONS. NOW, WHEN FEELINGS ARE THE THERMOSTAT, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS. OH, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. YOU'RE SO CUTE. YOU'RE JUSTYOU'RE ADORABLE. OH, I'M GOING TO TURN THAT TEMPERATURE UP. YOU'RE HOT. [LAUGHTER] YOU'RE A HOTTIE. THEN THE NEXT DAYYOU MADE ME MAD? WELL, LET ME JUST SHOW YOU HOW COLD IT CAN GET AROUND HERE. AND I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU NOT TO MAKE YOU MAD. AND I'M GOING TO éL AT YOU, AND I'M GOING TO BROWBEAT YOU, AND I'M GOING TO DO ALL THIS KIND OF STUFF LIKE THAT UNTIL YOU MAKE UP. AND SO THEN YOU MAKE UP. WELL, I'M GOING TO TURN IT UP A LITTLE BIT. NOT AS HOT AS IT WAS, BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE IT YET. OH, YOU JUST MADE ME MAD AGAIN. HERE WE GO. SUB-ZERO. FREEZE YOU OUT. AND THAT THERMOSTAT'S JUST LIKE THIS. AND AFTER A WHILE, YOU'VE HURT EACH OTHER SO MUCH, YOU'VE REACTED, YOU'VE VERBALLY ABUSED, YOU'VE WITHDRAWN, YOU'VE DONE ALL THESE THINGS BECAUSE YOUR THERMOSTAT IS AN EMOTION AND IT CAN NEVER BE FAITHFUL. IT CAN NEVER BE DEPENDABLE. YOU'RE UP, YOU'RE DOWN, YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE THERE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO TOMORROW. SO WHAT I DECIDED TO DO AROUND YOU IS GUARD MY HEART, 'CAUSE I CAN'T TRUST YOUR MOUTH, I CAN'T TRUST YOUR COMMITMENTS, I CAN'T TRUST YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A DEPENDABLE INDIVIDUAL, BECAUSE YOU'RE RULED BY YOUR EMOTIONS. AND SO, IF THISI WAS RULED BY MY EMOTIONS. IF KAREN MADE ME HAPPY, I WAS NICE TO HER. IF SHE DIDN'T, I PUNISHED HER. I WAS VERBALLY ABUSIVE. I WAS NEVER PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE, BUT I WAS VERBALLY ABUSIVE, I WAS SELFISH, I WAS SELF-CENTERED. KAREN HAD NO TRUST FOR ME WHATSOEVER. AND ON THE NIGHT THAT I REPENTED TO KAREN AND I SAID TO HER, I'M SORRY. I'M JUST SORRY FOR THE WAY I'VE TREATED YOU, SORRY FOR THE WAY THAT I'VE BEEN, SHE SAID TO ME, YOUR MOUTH HAS DEVASTATED ME, AND THE HARDEST THING FOR ME TO DO IS GOING TO BE TO GET OVER WHAT YOUR MOUTH HAS DONE TO ME. AND I SAID I UNDERSTAND, BECAUSE WHEN I GOT ANGRY, WHEN I GOT UPSET, WHEN I WAS FEELING INSECURE, WHEN SHE DIDN'T DO WHAT I WANTED HER TO DO, I'D JUST START IN WITH MY MOUTH. WE HAD NOOUR HOME WAS UP AND DOWN. AND WHAT HAPPENED WAS THE MORE UP AND DOWN IT WENT, THE MORE DOWN IT STAYED. AND OUR SOCIETY IS RULED BY THIS SEXUAL LOVE, THIS PASSION LOVE, THISALLTHIS EMOTION-BASED LOVE. AND WHAT YOU'LL NOTICE IS, THE MORE YOU BASE YOUR LOVE ON EMOTION, THE LESS LOVE YOU HAVE AND THE MORE INCONSISTENT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE. WHEN YOU PUT AGAPE LOVE AS THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE, SEX IS MUCH BETTER, BECAUSE I TRUST YOU. YOU TREAT ME NICE WHEN I DON'T DESERVE IT. YOU'RE CONSISTENT. YOU'RE NOT MOODY. YOU DON'T PUNISH ME AND BROWBEAT ME. YOU LOVE ME WHEN I DON'T DESERVE IT. AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS BETTER. THE PASSION IS BETTER. THE FEELING OF FAMILY IS BETTER. EVERY OTHER KIND OF LOVE FLOURISHES ON THE FOUNDATION OF AGAPE LOVE. WHEN YOU REMOVE AGAPE LOVE, EVERY OTHER KIND OF LOVE IS TOO UNSTABLE TO SUSTAIN THE RELATIONSHIP. YEAH, YOU MAY HAVE GREAT SEX FOR A WHILE, BUT IT'S GOING TO COME AND GO. YOU MAY HAVE STRONG EMOTIONS, BUT IT'S GOING TO COME AND GO. BUT WHEN AGAPE IS THERE, IT'S GOING TO COME AND STAY. AND EVEN WHEN IT EBBS AND FLOWS, YOU STILL HAVE A STRONG FOUNDATION OF AGAPE LOVE. THERE. THE GREATEST MARRIAGES ARE WHERE TWO VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE GET MARRIED AND GO THROUGH VERY DIFFICULT TIMES TOGETHER. AND YOU'VE GONE THROUGH BATTLES, YOU'VE GONE THROUGH TRIALS, YOU'VE GONE THROUGH THE FIRE, YOU'VE GONE THROUGH THE WATERS, YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING. AND THERE WERE TIMES THAT YOUR MARRIAGE WAS GREAT, BUT THERE WERE TIMES THAT YOU WENT THROUGH TIMES OF STRESS AND DIFFICULTY THAT YOU HAD TO LOVE EACH OTHER IN SPITE OF. AND ONE PERSON HAD TO CARRY THE OTHER PERSON THROUGH. AND THE GREATEST MARRIAGE IS WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THOSE TIMES AND YOU GET ON THE OTHER SIDE AND YOU TURN BACK AND SAY... YOU HAD EVERY REASON TO LEAVE ME AND YOU DIDN'T. AND WHEN I WAS NOT WILLING TO GIVE TO YOU, YOU GAVE TO ME. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE TO TELL PEOPLE THE GOOD NEWS THAT THEY CAN SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. IT'S JUST WONDERFUL THAT GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL. AND WHEN YOU DO IT PROPERLY, IT'S INDESTRUCTIBLE. AND SO, WHAT YOU SAW ON TODAY'S PROGRAM IS JUST A SMALL PART OF AN 8-PART SEMINAR THAT I DO CALLED "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE," TALKING ABOUT AFFAIR-PROOFING, DIVORCE-PROOFING, RUST-PROOFING, HOW TO HAVE INDESTRUCTIBLE LOVE, INDESTRUCTIBLE COMMUNICATION, SEXUAL FULFILLMENT IN YOUR MARRIAGEA BIG SEMINAR TO HELP YOU SUCCEED IN EVERY AREA OF MARRIAGE. AND WE WANT TO PUT THE FULL RESOURCE INTO YOUR HANDS, THE FULL MESSAGE THAT YOU SAW PART OF TODAY, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE SEMINAR, RIGHT NOW FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT TO SUPPORT US HERE AT "MARRIAGE TODAY." WE'RE A MISSION. WE GO ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD HELPING FAMILIES IN THE AREA OF MARRIAGE. FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT, WE WANT TO SEND YOU MY BOOK, "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." FOR YOUR GIFT OF $55 OR MORE, I WANT TO SEND YOU THE FULL 8-PART CD SERIES "INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE," ALONG WITH THE BOOK. AND FOR YOUR GIFT OF $90 OR MORE, IT'S THE DVD SERIES ALONG WITH THE BOOK, "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." THIS CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. THIS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE, TRULY. IT CAN CHANGE GENERATIONS IN YOUR FAMILY. MAYBE YOU KNOW OF SOMEBODY GETTING MARRIED OR SOMEBODY THAT NEEDS THIS KIND OF RESOURCE. FOR YOUR GIFT RIGHT NOW TO "MARRIAGE TODAY," WE WANT TO PUT THESE IMPORTANT RESOURCES INTO YOUR HANDS, AND HERE'S HOW YOU CAN GET THEM. ANNOUNCER: SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE SERIES "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE." WE'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE BOOK "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." THE CD SERIES AND BOOK ARE YOURS FOR A GIFT OF $55 OR MORE, THE DVD SERIES AND BOOK FOR $90 OR MORE. "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE" SERIES WILL SHOW YOU THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF LOVE AND WHY ONLY ONE KIND WILL LAST. KEYS TO DIVORCE-PROOF AND AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE. HOW TO BE ROMANTIC IN YOUR SPOUSE'S LANGUAGE. AND MUCH MORE. Jimmy: WE'RE CALLING THIS "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE" SEMINAR BECAUSE WE MEAN IT. YOU HAVE A 100% CHANCE OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE WHEN YOU DO IT GOD'S WAY. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE TODAY FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, THEY DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE GONNA SUCCEED OR NOT. YOU'RE GONNA SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. ANNOUNCER: SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT AND RECEIVE THE BOOK "7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES." EXPERIENCE THE "INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE" SERIES TODAY. I HAVE A FRIEND OF MINE WHO SELLS JEWELRY TO THE RICH AND THE FAMOUS, AND A LOT OF HIS CLIENTS ARE VERY WEALTHY PEOPLE. AND HE WAS TELLING ME ONE TIME THAT HE HAD 3 CLIENTS, AT THAT TIME, SPENDING OVER $1 MILLION EACH ON THEIR WEDDINGS THAT THEY WERE ABOUT TO HAVE. AND HE SAID, "JIMMY, TRULY, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ANY OF THESE PEOPLE, THEIR MARRIAGES WILL LAST OVER 90 DAYS." AND HE WAS SAD. I MEAN, HE'S JUST A GREAT GUY, AND HE WAS SAD OVER THE FACT THAT THEIR MARRIAGES WEREN'T GOING TO LAST THAT LONG, ACCORDING TO HIM, AND HE KNEW THESE PEOPLE WELL. WE HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHER THAT WE KNOW HERE AT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WHO DOES A LOT OF WEDDINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS A LOT OF WEDDINGS. AND HE SAID INCREASINGLY, WHEN HE DELIVERS THE PICTURES, THE WEDDING PICTURES, TO THE COUPLE, THEY'RE ALREADY DIVORCED. ISN'T THAT AMAZING? DID YOU KNOW THAT AT THE ALTAR, ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER, YOU KNOW. MOST OF THEM ARE SAYING VOWS THAT SAY "TILL DEATH DO US PART, TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH," AND ALL THOSE KINDS OF THINGS. THE WORD "LOVE" HAS BECOME SO CHEAP, IT'S REALLY ALMOST MEANINGLESS. AND YOU THINK ABOUT COUPLES THAT JUST SO PASSIONATELY SAY "I LOVE YOU," AND THEN WHEN SIGNIFICANT PROBLEMS HAPPEN IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP, THEY'RE GONE. WHEN GOD SAYS THAT HE LOVES US, IT MEANS LOVE. IT MEANS, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, AND I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU. YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT YOUR GOD. WE'RE IMPERFECT PEOPLE. GOD HAS SO MANY REASONS TO THROW US AWAY AND TO FIND SOMEBODY BETTER, AND WE ALL KNOW THAT. BUT HE DOESN'T. THAT'S JUST NOT THE KIND OF GOD THAT WE SERVE. WITH ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS, WITH ALL OF OUR FAILURES AND FRAILTIES, GOD IS SUCH AN INCREDIBLE, INCREDIBLE GOD TO MAKE A FLAT-OUT STATEMENT, "I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU." WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS THAT GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, IT MEANS GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD. HE LOVED THE WORLD. HE WENT TO THE CROSS FOR THE WORLD. IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE'S SOME PERSON OUT THERE THAT'S YOUR PERFECT SOUL MATE, THAT YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES, AND THE EMOTIONS WOULD ALWAYS BE PRESENT, IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THAT PERSON IS OUT THERE, YOU'RE MISTAKEN. IT'S NOT TRUE. IN EVERY MARRIAGE, THERE ARE GOING TO BE TIMES WHERE THE EMOTIONS ARE NOT PRESENT, OR THAT EVEN THE EMOTIONS ARE NEGATIVE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? ARE YOU GOING TO SAY, "I'M OUT OF LOVE AND I NEED TO GET ON THE INTERNET AND FIND MY SOUL MATE"? ARE YOU GOING TO BAIL OUT? ARE YOU GOING TO GET LAZY AND WITHDRAW? OR ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE TO WORK AT THE RELATIONSHIP AND LOVE YOUR SPOUSE? YOU CAN LOVE YOUR SPOUSE WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR SPOUSE. YOU KNOW, YOU CAN BE OUT OF LIKE, BUT YOU CAN STILL BE IN LOVE, BECAUSE GOD'S LOVE, AGAPE LOVE, IS THE MOST POWERFUL FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE. IT WILL WORK FOR YOU TODAY. DON'T YOU GET DISCOURAGED. DON'T LET THE DEVIL DECEIVE YOU. THE POWER OF GOD'S LOVE IS IN YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU TURN IT TOWARDS YOU SPOUSE AND YOU LOVE THEM, AND YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE IT WILL MAKE. AND I WANT TO THANK YOU TODAY FOR TUNING INTO THIS PROGRAM. WE HOPE THAT IT'S BEEN AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU. WE WANT YOU TO BECOME A PARTNER WITH US HERE AT "MARRIAGE TODAY." OUR MONTHLY PARTNERS ARE THE BACKBONE OF OUR MINISTRY. HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTNER WITH KAREN AND ME. ANNOUNCER: WHEN YOU STAND WITH "MARRIAGE TODAY," YOUR INDIVIDUAL EFFORT MULTIPLIES WITH OTHER LIKE-MINDED PARTNERS. AND TOGETHER, WE CAN REBUILD THE DREAM OF MARRIAGE FOR COUPLES AROUND THE WORLD. Man: I WOULD RECOMMEND BECOMING A ROCK SOLID PARTNER BECAUSE YOU ARE GRAFTING INTO A GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS THAT ARE COMMITTED TO RESTORING MARRIAGE TO THIS COUNTRY, AND THAT'S SOMETHING WE WANT TO BE A PART OF. ANNOUNCER: IN PURSUIT OF THIS VITAL MISSION, "MARRIAGE TODAY" UTILIZES A DAILY TELEVISION BROADCAST, MULTIPLE LIVE EVENTS, A COMPREHENSIVE ONLINE OUTREACH, AND HUNDREDS OF MARRIAGE BUILDING RESOURCES. YOUR PARTNERSHIP IS LITERALLY MAKING EVERY FACET OF THIS MINISTRY POSSIBLE. AND THAT MEANS COUPLES ARE RECEIVING THE HELP AND HOPE THEY NEED TO TAKE THEIR MARRIAGE TO THE NEXT LEVEL OF FULFILLMENT AND INTIMACY. Woman: WE ENJOY THE RESOURCES, WE ENJOY ALL OF IT. BUT I THINK JUST KNOWING THAT WE'RE TOUCHING THE LIVES OF SO MANY OTHER MARRIAGES, CREATING AN ATMOSPHERE FOR THEM TO GET THE HELP THEY NEED. ANNOUNCER: BEING A ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH "MARRIAGE TODAY" GRANTS YOU IMMEDIATE ACCESS TO AN EXCLUSIVE LIBRARY OF THE MINISTRY'S RESOURCES AND INTIMATELY CONNECTS YOU WITH OUR MISSION OF HELPING COUPLES SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE. Woman: WE'RE PROOF THAT THE MINISTRY IS BENEFICIAL AND THAT IT WORKS. IT HAS HELPED TO SAVE US. AND THAT MEANS THAT OUR CHILDREN GET TO GROW UP WITH TWO PARENTS IN A HOME TOGETHER. IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES EVERY SINGLE DAY, THAT I COULDN'T IMAGINE NOT BEING A PARTNER. ANNOUNCER: EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING TO GIVE, AND THERE ARE MILLIONS OF UNREACHED COUPLES WHO DESPERATELY NEED THE MARRIAGE STRENGTHENING RESOURCES OF "MARRIAGE TODAY." THAT'S WHY WE NEED YOU TO JOIN US. BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER WITH THE MINISTRY AND MISSION OF "MARRIAGE TODAY." ANNOUNCER: THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY. SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE SERIES "THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MARRIAGE." BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER TODAY AND CONNECT WITH THE MISSION OF "MARRIAGE TODAY." TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP COUPLES SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE.
