My cat comes up and he tries to paw at it, but I, my hands are covered raw meat, so I can't grab the sprayer to spray him. So I just go, I hiss at the cat. Hey, welcome back to Mythical Kitchen, where dreams come food. To address the elephant in the room, a lot of the foods you see me make and eat here are not foods that
I make in my everyday life. Like a Cheeto apple pie is
an absolutely awesome dish. I'm probably just not spending my Monday and Tuesday nights
prepping and making that. So today I wanna show y'all how I actually cook in real life. I do a lot of meal prepping, but not like the bland meal prep that you see all the
fitness influencers do, 'cause that would just suck. Eatin' bell peppers, chicken,
and rice for your entire life. No, no, no. Today I'm teaching you meal prep that does not suck usin' three easy hacks that you can snag right there. We got full written recipes for this all down in the description. Let's get preppin'. Not like doomsday preppers though, but they seem responsible. At some point it's just
responsible, right? Like keep food, like dry goods? Step one, breakfast. Josh's special homemade protein bars. You might be asking yourself, this looks more like the
meal prep you would have to make like an omelet
or maybe a large quiche. Nope, these are protein bars. So we got a bunch of
breakfast sausage here. This is a pound of breakfast sausage, and we got 15 eggs. This is what I would make and then bring it into the office. I haven't done it recently, but it would really disgust Nicole, because I would make this giant sheet of baked scrambled eggs, cut them into bars, wrap them foil, put 'em in the oven right
when I got into work, and then I'd eat 'em and then I would call 'em a protein bar, and Nicole goes, "The whole
kitchen smells like eggs." And I'd be like, "It's better than what
it normally smells like, which is just me after a workout." So you're welcome, Nicole. You're the inspiration for this. Always inspiring me. So we're gonna take a
whole pound of sausage, drop that into a pan, and we're gonna just get that workin'. Then we're gonna drop a
bunch of vegetables into it. Saute the sausage around. You wanna get the sausage nice and weepy before you add your vegetables too. It gets some of that
fat really workin' out. We've taken some mushrooms
and we just quartered 'em up. I know what you're saying. "Josh, if I'm meal preppin' and I gotta chop on my vegetables, there's someone who
obviously did this for you." Yeah, sorry, I don't know. It's just there's a lot of
stuff I'm gonna be choppin'. This takes literally 90 seconds to do. Dump that in there. We're gonna let the mushrooms saute. Now I'm gonna start
whiskin' up these eggs. The idea behind this, it's like a crustless, milkless quiche. I know what you're saying. "Josh, crust and milk is what
makes a quiche a quiche." Yeah, what this really is, is like a hotel continental
breakfast giant tray of eggs that they just like cooked
in a big old steam oven, but then there's tasty stuff inside of it so that you can just eat it, and microwave it, and it's delicious. So there we go. Yeah, mushrooms are gettin'
nice and browned in here. Now the last step. You saute the sausage first, saute the mushrooms first. Oh, cheddar cheese. Why? It tastes really good and I like it. It's good with the eggs. Gonna whisk that in there. Now that the mushrooms and
the sausage are cooked, I'm gonna take all this spinach. Spinach needs to cook for like, literally 30 seconds in there. It'll start wilting down. Just like dump it. This is like genuinely the amount of care and precision that I cook with at home. I mean, it's just, it is
really a pump and dump. Does that refer to breastfeeding? Just drop some cherry tomatoes in there, stir it around, just kind of get 'em
nice and incorporated. Uh oh. Man overboard! If that happens on a cruise, do you think they just leave 'em? Right? What would they do? They turn the whole ship around? It's big. If it was like a, one of
like the onboard comedians, they would probably stop it, 'cause like they are funny. You guys ever been on a cruise? Seen one of the comedians there? That's where the top talent
goes, I've been told. In comedy they go on cruises. And Lisa, you're laughing because your husband got
offered a cruise position? No, but I just thought that was funny. Okay, so now we're just
gonna dump all the pot into the eggs and then we're
just gonna kind of mash it. I don't wanna use the whisk. All the sausage can get
trapped in the whisk. I'm just gonna use this thing
to kinda stir up the eggs. If you're dumpin' hot
ingredients into eggs, could it start to scramble the eggs? Yeah, sure, but like
you're already gonna do, you're just dumping 15 eggs into a sheet and then slicing it up and eating it, and telling people they're
called protein bars. So, you know, it's kind
of whatever at this point. Droppin' a whole lot of
black pepper in there. A little bit of salt to season the eggs but you do have salty ingredients there with the sausage and the cheese. So go a little bit light on the salt. About three quarters of teaspoon. And now you just take boom, bingo bango, egg slop into the pan. I feel like this is something
that an early Food TV star would say you should
like make for your kids. I know I'm plagiarizing
somebody with this, but hey, this is my own original idea, and I made it up, and you
can't sue me 'cause my father is the highest paid lawyer
in all of the Hamptons. I don't even, I just realized I have no
idea what the Hamptons are. Are these like a mountain range? Egg bars are done. Now we gotta flip 'em. So bake for like 40 minutes, get some nice little browning on 'em. People are like, you
don't want brown eggs. Why not? You don't know me, yes I do. I like, I like brown, I like browned eggs. It's nice. Good, still hot. So we're gonna take some
little glovey gloves and then check this out. I got a really easy method to flip it. You take a wood. You kinda wrangle it a little bit and then you wanna one of those. Then you take this off. Then you got like a, did parchment melt on it? What happened? Oh, some egg got under the parchment. That makes sense. Yeah, you just gotta
give it a little haircut 'cause these like little egg, but then you can take these. These are still good. And then can take your knife. You can measure this. This is exactly 12 inches. We know that 'cause pan is 12 inches. So we're gonna go exactly 2.4 inches and create five separate egg
bars at exactly 2.4 inches. This is exactly three
eggs and three ounces of sausage per egg bars. It's a perfect breakfast
for a growing boy like me. I haven't hit my growth spurt yet. What do I do, do I eat it now? Uh, you can. I don't know if it's too hot. Yeah, I'm gonna eat it. Now typically I might
let this sit a little bit before I eat it. Or you know, you can take it, you can package these up. You can like microwave 'em in the morning, put 'em in the oven. You know, you get to the work and you take your morning business, if you know what I mean. You let these heat in the oven while you're doing your morning business. That's good but instead I just like to take a nice hot hand omelet and- Oh God. Ow. It's so hot. It tastes so good. It's steaming up my glasses. Okay, it's hot. That's how you make a hand omelet. Find out and next time I
make like 50 balls of meat. Couple seconds ago, I promised you a lot of
little balls of meat, and I plan to follow
through on that promise. I truly eat what I can only
describe as an upsetting amount of meatballs week in and week out. Literally over the last month, I have made 46 meatballs every Sunday. That's almost, that's what, like 180? It's a lot. The point is I'm a huge fan of meatballs. I use ground turkey because it's like 60% as good as ground beef but
it makes me fart 80% less, which makes people like me 18% more. So the math really checks
out with that in my opinion. But I don't know, ground turkey, man, It's healthy, it's a weekday thing. You know, might as well. Once you put enough spices
and seasonings in it, that's a big thing with meal prep. I think a lot of people don't do good is their stuff is just super bland. So we're doing Buffalo
chicken turkey meatballs. 'Cause ground chicken generally sucks more than ground turkey 'cause
they use white meat. Don't do that. So what I like to do to save time, I like to blend all my wet ingredients, including herbs and whatever
aromatics you're using, 'cause I don't know,
chopping stuff takes time. So I'm just gonna take green
onions and just rip 'em up. Get 'em in there. We're gonna add a bunch of jarred garlic, AKA jarlic because my
God is it convenient. Again, what, 73% as good as fresh garlic? Yeah, but 100 times easier 'cause you just scoop it out of a jar. Gonna dump all that jarlic in there. What else? We got some blue cheese going in there. We got a little bit of Cajun season in. We're gonna glaze the meatballs in that. I think we're ready to blend. So meatballs, combination, two words. Meat coming from the Latin for meat, ball coming from the Latin for well, originally it meant like, like a pelota. Is the for ball? It's like a test. It's like, so we're going to, oh God, it was on high! Well. We got our wets blended. Now you gotta put 'em into your meats. I'm a big fan of going
one egg per pound of meat. We got three pounds of ground turkey here. I always budget eight ounces
of animal flesh per meal that I eat, which is, that seems egregious now that I say it, but I don't know, man. I like read once that you
should consume one gram of protein per pound of body weight, and just have kind of been
doing that for a long time. And so I'm adding the breadcrumbs, all the eggs, and all the delicious
flavory things in there. Blue cheese 'cause I
really enjoy blue cheese, and they put that in the Buffalo stuff. I don't know. This is how I cook at home. This is what I'm doin'. A whole lot of Cajun seasoning. Pre-made spice blends are another thing that I use like all the time, 'cause that's something that can get one, really costly when you're like, I need these four spices for this recipe. Each one costs nine freaking dollars. Like no way, man. Just get a pre-made. Most spices kinda taste the same. It looks really wet right now. But then I like to let
my meatballs kinda soak, kinda soaking themselves
for like 10 minutes. You know, I'll go do something, do a Sudoku while my meatballs soak. What else? What else
do people do on Sunday? Oh, religion. That makes sense. Okay, that's why I have extra time. No, this is my church that I worship at. The church of balls. And then a great way to save time is you don't have to ball everything. You could. If you wanna see my
meatball technique, I go, . And then you, that's not a great ball. That was performative, is what that was. That was silly of me. I kind of ball 'em up
and then you do that, and then you bake it, and that's a ball. But here, check this out. Are you ready for the pro technique? Little ice cream scooper ball. Look at, ball. Ball. And then what I do is my cat comes up and he tries to paw at it, but I, my hands are covered in raw meat so I can't grab the sprayer to spray him. And so I just go, I hiss at the cat. It's the only way to get
him to not eat the raw meat. So yeah, me on a Sunday is just
me scoopin' 46 balls goin', trying to fend off my cat with an ice cream scooper
covered in raw meat. I don't know if you
imagined my private life any differently than that, but that's about what it is. So I'm gonna keep
scooping these here balls for like a while. We're gonna throw this
in a 550 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Know what you're saying. "Josh, don't most people
cook that at like 375 for 30 minutes?" This is faster. There's a lot of, there's a lot of blue
cheese wafting around here. This is good. You can see the blue
cheese kind of exploded out of these a little bit. And then this is my
expert glazing technique. What you're gonna do is
take all this Buffalo sauce and you just drizzle it
over the top with all these. You wanna get 'em nice and coated. And then you can take it and you just kind of violently shake it. You can kinda grab, ow. That's cool. You kinda grab the parchment. You can kinda like, kinda like wiggle 'em, and then shoot. Shoot, sorry. You know, maybe you
don't need to glaze them. You just do this. We debated tossing 'em
in a bowl, but like, I don't know, it just
didn't seem right to me, and so this is now how we're
glazing our Buffalo meatballs. Oh God, it's so hot. That's great, though. Here's the thing. You don't have to eat these
meatballs plain by themselves as they are delicious. Gimme one more bite. What you can do, this is me at home too, though. Josh, what you got wrapped
up in this here paper towel? I'll tell you what. Got a frozen hoagie roll
defrosted a little bit, wrapped into a wet paper towel. Bakery fresh. I like to prep large
quantities of meatballs. Then you can do whatever
you want with them. Meatball tacos, meatball sandwiches, meatball quesadillas, meatball grilled cheeses. Anyways, I'm gonna take
some ranch dressing. It's like mayonnaise. We got some other stuff in it. I'm gonna make a little
like meatball po'boy. Gonna tuck some lettuce in there. There we go. Get a couple slices of tomato. A little Buffalo chicken meatball hoagie, ain't nothing wrong with that. Some pickles on the outside. That's a thickle, that's not a pickle, that's a thickle. Dang, these are good. All right, now you take your meatballs. You gotta stuff 'em in here. There it is. And then, shoot. Gimme a sec. So you got that and then now
you're gonna take Buffalo sauce drizzle it over the top, more ranch. Well, hold on. Just kinda shove it in. Kinda close it and then
now you gotta look, a little Buffalo chicken meatball hoagie. You still got like 30
more meatballs left over. Again, you can make like tacos, quesadillas, grinders, or grilled cheeses. They're great, man. If you thought all those
balls were rough and dirty, you're gonna love this one. You might be saying, "Josh, there's only
like three things here. Surely this can't come
together in a whole meal." Well, watch me. First, watch me take this
1.79 a pound pork butt and break it down. There's a bone in it. I didn't know there was a, I didn't know we got the bone in one. Well, I'll show you how to break it down. You just taking a knife. We're gonna hack this meat up. We got like, this is
like five pounds of pork. This is like four cans of
salsa that we put in a bowl. Pre-made salsa roja, you can get a salsa verde if you want to. But I don't know, I like red stuff more than
green stuff as a generality. What I do is I take this
all and I put it into a pot, and I throw it in the
oven for about four hours. Forget about it. Play a couple video games. Come back, boom, you
got dinner for a week. That's cooking, baby. Let me take a knife and just
run it through the bones. This isn't the right tool
to do this at all then. I know what you're saying. "Josh, you got all this
fancy cooking equipment and a budget, you got
a big old fancy knife." I'm gonna show you how to
do this without a knife. This is an oyster shucker. You probably don't have
one of those either 'cause you shouldn't 'cause it's dumb. But just know that it's like dull and it's worse than a knife. You're just gonna take this
and you're just gonna cut, find the bones, and
shave all this meat off. You're gonna hack it up
and throw it into a bunch of jars of salsa in a pot. There's nothing, like there's
no wrong way to do it. You just gotta get the meat off. Yeah, gotta hold it up. A lot of butchers do that stabbin' motion. There we go. Oyster shucker not bad
for hackin' up pork. I want like solid inch cubes. You could just throw
the whole thing in there for like four hours and
then you're gonna get nice, like shreddy carnitas-style pork. I like my pork in chunks. Also, people might say,
hold on, is this heating? You gotta shuffle the pans
around to make it hot. Sometimes the thing doesn't
know there's a pan there. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna heat some water. Yeah, that was on for 10 minutes. No sizzle in that water. All right, so we're gonna
take all this jarred salsa. Maybe got some chipotles in there. I don't know, it's gonna
cook with the pork fat. It's all gonna taste nice. We're not gonna sear the perk for. Perk forced? We're not gonna sear the pork first. A lot of people say, they say, "Josh, you gotta sear the meat first or else there's no flavor. The guy in the Food TV, he told me so." Stupid! Like a lot of cultures around the world just don't sear meat before making soups. They'll blanch it and do other stuff. You just throw it in and you cook it, and you can just eat it. You don't have to sear it. I'm still working with
my oyster shucker here. I got this. We're gonna hack this
into like one inch chunks. That's a little big, that's fine. You can use your teeth. Another tool for cooking is your teeth. All right. So we literally just throw that in there. Throw some salt in there. Salt tastes good. There's pork. Josh, we have a swap for this. What do you mean? No, no, no. Ben, we're gonna watch me do this. I need to prove to them that
you don't need good equipment. That you could use a butter
knife to hack up your pork. No, no, no, no, no. Ben, I gotta prove it. Ben, I gotta prove it. Don't let Ben cut. Don't turn off the cameras. Don't you dare turn off the cameras. I swear to- We took the pork out of the oven. I stopped threatening our camera people. Sorry about that, Meggie. Got a little carried away
with the oyster shucker. Anyways, we've taken the
pork and the jarred salsa. Actually it wasn't jarred. It was specifically canned
salsa 'cause it's a lot cheaper. I just have them stacked really
high in my pantry at home. But look how good that looks. Like what an enticing bowl of food. There's something about
the pork fat and the time that like literally just
kind of, I don't know. What's that word? What's that word? Transmogrifies. Weird, stupid SAT word. Transmogrifies the dish
to being something, you know, elevated and nice. So we got our little pork stew. Now let me show you my favorite side dish. It's called like rice bean
slop with some vegetables. I have a couple different types of meals. You've seen most of 'em. This is my favorite for dinner. It's called slop bowl. What I do is I eat all
of my meals at home out of a very shallow bowl, but it's wide. And then I'll take some
combination of vegetable. This is called zucchini. It's Italian, it's very fancy. Also they keep really long in your fridge and there's minimal prep
work to be done on 'em. You don't really gotta do anything. You get kale, you gotta like strip it, you gotta clean it. This no, you just chop
it into little things. They cook in like three minutes. So we're gonna cook this zucchini. Italian again, very fancy, for like a couple seconds. This is a single can of beans. I didn't make 'em. No, if I made beans, they
would taste just like this. They did it in a can. Cost 70 cents, do that. I drained it, rinsed it to
get the metal taste off. This is rice. I'm so sorry. This is it. I ate a meatball off camera. I ate another one. Sorry, burps. Now I got rice. It's quick cook rice. You can buy the long cook rice and then try and make it perfectly and invariably screw it up unless you have a rice cooker or you're just like good at cooking rice. But I don't know. On a weekday, I just get the
stuff that cooks in a minute and then I drain it and then I have it. And then you can just
like saute vegetables, get a little nice char on 'em. And then you just go dump in some beans, dump in a little bit of rice, and then you just take
this and you kinda like do that a little bit. You hit it with some
salt so it tastes nice. Take a spoon, bash up the rice, and yeah, now you can, now you can do this fun
little tossy-toss thing. Ah, you could add other flavors to it. You could throw in like a lime. But then, you know, you think if you have a lime in the fridge and then you might, and then you're like, no,
I think those were old. I got 'em for cocktails
like three weeks ago. And you're like, even if
I did, what am I gonna do? Get another cutting board, get a knife for one lime wedge. And then, and then, you have to put half a
lime back in the fridge and you know that's just gonna sit there, and you can't just throw it away 'cause your girlfriend goes
through the trash and goes, "Why'd you throw away half a lime?" And you're like, "'Cause we have 18 half limes in there that are gonna go bad anyways. I don't know what to tell you." So this is gonna saute for another minute and then you can kinda like, I don't know, stay here and be like, if I scoop the cat's litter right now, then I'm gonna smell like
cat litter while I'm cooking. But then you're like, well,
when else am I gonna do it? So you just kinda go do
it and then your food is gonna be perfumed by
cat litter a little bit. This what Sundays look like for y'all? Boom, take that right in the bowl. Mash it around with that. And then you take some of
this here bubblin' stew. Uh oh, dude, we made tahdig. Rules. All right, hold on. You're gonna take some
of this bubblin' stew. If you wanna put some
lime, some raw onions, if you wanna make pickle onions, we've done 'em plenty
of times on the show. You can absolutely find
that recipe for it. Hold on, let me just get a
nice little 'nother scoop of pork on there, and here you go. Here's Josh's deluxe,
delicious slop bucket supreme. No garnish. Well, hold on. Boom, garnished. And done. This is it. This is a tasty nutritious bowl of food that I would gladly
eat five days out of five. All right, dig in. You can take some hot
sauce outta your pouch. This is another great thing for meal prep. Always just keep a bunch
of hot sauce in your pouch. 'Cause even if your food's bland, you can really hot sauce it up. This is gonna taste good. This is steamin' hot. Ooh. Like a warm bowl of sunshine, man. Giant hunks of pork. Everyone who is impressed by
fall off the bone tender meat, just cook it longer at a low temperature and it'll fall off the bone. Like it'll be super tender. There's no trick to it. It's also not even a skill. You just leave it. Literally the skill is in taking it out. You don't have to do that. It takes less skill to make
fall off the bone tender meat because you don't have to do anything. Just leave it in a low oven covered. Delicious, nutritious bowl, oh, it's hot. Oh God, it's so hot. I hope you gleaned something
from how to meal prep today. This is truly the most
accurate representation of how I cook and eat for myself at home. If you do any of this, tag us on Instagram. That's @mythicalkitchen
under #dreamsbecomefood. Thank you so much for stopping by. We got new episodes on
YouTube out every week. We got new episodes of our podcast. A Hotdog is a Sandwich, every Wednesday wherever
you get your podcasts. If you do the Instagram
thing like Anson did, Anson made hamburger meat pie
with a bacon lattice crust. That's pretty rad. Shout out to Anson. Shout out to all you. Comment below what you think
my egg bars should be called when they eventually go to market and how much you would pay for them. $35 per bar? Let me know. More, you say? I'ma keep eating this pork. This is nice. Succulent. Oh, see you all next time. The Mythical Kitchen's favorite way to obliterate garlic
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tee now at mythical.com.
