How Encina Copes with Grief from a Break Up [Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder]

[Music] you can watch the best parts of this series at met circle comm do you want to talk about what is going on right now that's making things more or is or is there something that's making things more complicated or difficult right now I mean we can I guess we can touch on it a little bit I adjust and I'm recently going through a breakup and the person was like the person was everything to me you know the person was the only person in my life family friends people that I've met like the only person who's ever actually been truly empathetic with me you know when I'm crying he went to me and he was holding me and like you know I'm going through a hard time and he was that that really strong advocate of like you can do this like you're you're you're strong you've been through so much and you know at times I don't feel strong I feel super weak and you know I hear from so many people that you're fighting so you are strong like you've got this and it it's getting harder every day I feel like you know everything that comes along with it it is getting worse as I'm getting older and it's it's making me more desperate than ever to find an answer and to find something that will work for me do you feel there's a possibility that things are difficult right now because that is part of the process of finding a solution I feel like right now it's extra difficult because I'm going through a grieving moment you know I'm going through grieving yes I lost my best friend yeah and breakups are like deaths they are and I mean they've been actually proven that they're they can be just as bad same as like divorces and stuff it's it's bad so I'm I'm grieving and it's making all of my other things that I'm just struggling with and I've been trying to work through so much harder because I almost have to put my trauma therapy on the back burner to like deal with what I'm dealing with with all of you yeah so I mean I totally got it I totally get it now so it's I am already struggling with depression D IDC PTSD all of these things which is enough by itself but now I have to grieve so these things that are already difficult have to take a backseat so I can deal with the grieving mm-hmm yeah I get that I understand that and it just it flares them up yeah so much makes them yeah worse yeah I guess that I guess that that's hard that's difficult I mean it's this is probably the hardest time I've ever been in my life like wow like I've just like Disneyland and being like my happy place and that's that's what makes me want to live he made me feel like that and that was the only person that's ever truly really made me feel like that you know to where I didn't want to pull that plug I didn't want to end my life like he made me so happy and you know going through the breakup has left me kind of homeless right now like I'm staying with friends and it's it's just put so many other stressors on my life that it's just making it unbearable I believe that the worst things in our life come to us mm-hmm because we have to learn a lesson I obsolete believe the same thing you believe the same thing yeah do you know what the lesson is from this relationship yet where are you still learning it I feel like I need to just work on myself more I'm in my relationships I explain people have the things that they're passionate about are the things that they throw everything into whether it's your pets traveling your kids your home your relationship and for me it's my relationship I've always thrown so much into it I and that's always how I'm going to be but it's been so much of me giving and giving and giving that I haven't given to myself to put in the time to heal from my pasts and to really put in that work so now I'm able to really focus on myself yes I'm trying at least and put in that work that I need to put in to really heal because I can't heal myself if I'm also trying to heal other people that I saw as like my other half right and when you said he made me so happy or he was my everything he's what made me happy I no one should have that type of power over you they should surely add value to your life but you me we get to make ourselves happy first yeah I can't have I can't be dependent on anybody else to make me happy I I don't that's a personal Kyle ISM yeah how I live my life you are not going to affect me that way and maybe that's defensive I don't know but I I think it's about you know took quote RuPaul Charles if you can't love yourself how the hell you're gonna love somebody else you know it always starts with you yeah before anybody and I agree with that you know I have a therapist who kind of described it to me as like you know what there's nothing wrong with you wanting to have that relationship in that connection because that's something that everybody wants you know or the majority of people and whether it's that relationship that you want or whether it's you know that that house and you want to build this house and have it be beautiful and you just put everything into that you know like whatever it is that's a good thing there's nothing wrong with it just like a mother who wants a child who can't physically give birth you know it's it's all okay and those are great things to want but it does come to yourself you do have to put in the work for yourself it's interesting in a world that we always say is so selfish I think people need to be more selfish I think people need to put them themselves first more than what we're doing because what we're getting a little off topic here but when people look at selfishness they look at all well they're posting pretty Instagram pictures that's so selfish that's for other people yeah that's for other people to look at you I'm talking about being you let's be selfish with you your time where you're putting your energy how you're making how you can be your own best friend how you can be okay spending time with yourself because you've got to look in that mirror every day and go oh yeah yeah I like that person you know and I don't mean you specifically now all of us oh thanks for watching your next step is to go to med circle comm and finish watching this series there you can also access other series and get actionable advice and simple explanations continue your mental health journey at Med circle calm and I'll see you there [Music] you [Music]

Channel: MedCircle

Views: 44,248

Rating: 4.9504476 out of 5

Keywords: dissociative identity disorder, medcircle, encina severa, kyle kittleson, dissociative identity disorder short film, identity, disorder, interview, discussion, short film, mental illness, mental, health, mental health, DID, multiple personalities, multiple personality disorder, tedtalk, ted, talk, childhood trauma, movie, documentary, disorders, multiple, personality, video, dissociative disorders, psychology, split movie, split, sybil, d.i.d., videos, youtube, grief, break up, break-up, help

Id: LSOIPl55kTE

Length: 8min 18sec (498 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 28 2019