How Do You Keep a Rein on Your Tongue

as women we love to talk don't we and the Bible is so clear it's interesting and James so much about our words so much about our tongue and it talks about the danger of the tongue so I just wonder how do you control your tongue how do you keep a rein you see someone you want to say something is there something you say to yourself or think to yourself how do you deal with the tongue Jackie I'm really terrible and in this area because I tend to be really quick with my thoughts and my thinking my mother was the same way it's just it was just an immediate thing and so I think first I know that oftentimes my speech is impulsive and so I know that it's coming out of my heart first and so it's like man something is wrong here before I can even fix here and so I think what I've tried to do is really really try to steward or foster a love for God and for people because my words affect people and if I love people I need to be concerned about if I'm building them up or tearing them down so that's kind of been what I tried to do and just beg God please help me help me to be slow to speak because I'm not slow to speak at all you can well I mean even tied to the verse that you're talking about where James says everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry and it just became apparent to me in studying the passage but I'm the opposite of that no I'm slow to listen quick to speak and quick to become angry and then I was able to connect that quick anger to my quick speech and how often the words that I regretted were a product of anger on some level and I mean this is it this is my besetting sin this is the thing that has plagued me my whole life and I learned angry speech you know I learned sarcasm in the quick response I had a bunch of brothers and that was the way that I competed was with my tongue because I wasn't as strong or as fast and when you could get them oh yeah I always had and I still always have the right you know the quick cutting response right they're ready to go and it still as an exercise to keep from letting it out and honestly one of the ways that I try to keep myself from entering back in that same pattern of sin is to remember the the damage that I've done in the past and not in a not in like a guilt inducing way that just I don't want to create more of those experiences I don't want to create more of a trail of detalization so my one taking in all of the lesson I can from from the times I haven't done it right before so I do try to remind myself sometimes hey just remember the cost remember the cost remember the cost as you say that I can think of some particular people's faces comes right mind right with a look of hurt yeah or disappointment or whatever because of my words I don't have that kind of regrets around actions I have a ton around my speech just I wish I could people I wish I could go back and apologize to you and I can't find them if they're gone you know those kinds of thing when I think about the tongue I think about you know what what makes this difficult and it's that very root sin of pride isn't it often time I mean sometimes I just think I talk too much because I love the sound of my own voice and that I think I have really good ideas and I know stuff and so I'm just going to tell people but you know really at the heart of that is really the sin of pride I think so what are some reasons we should reign in our tongue and and and is it something we just decide to do like I'm going to now be really self controlled in the tongue Department what do you think I mean I think it's something we should do because God commands us to do it first and foremost I think to honor him and love people we this is a big deal like I think a lot of the ways in which I view myself is through the language other people spoke over me and so I was like man I don't want to be that want to be the person who has inspired and affected people in ways and which they are able to walk better yeah this better and see their selves better so it's like huge words are huge the Word of God is huge you know and so I think we have to do something about your making a good point that it's not just when talking about the tongue it's not just controlling what we don't say they quiet but the opposite also that we actually use our home to bless and encourage and to give out God's Word what do you think tin you know words have the power to create and to destroy and I were to make a column of which words I use more I'd be heavier on the destroy side I have to constantly remind myself how you use your words to give life how have you used your words to nurture and encourage and instead of always giving the critique where's the where's the thing you can say that's edifying where is the encouragement you can give we are people whose faith is founded on life-giving words oh yeah and so you know when God chose to give the gospel he did it through words so we of all people need to be characterized by speech that is life-giving and I try to keep that in mind there are certain situations scenarios that are especially important for really keeping a watch on the tongue I know for me personally it's been within our home I just really wanted our home to be a place that was safe from a from a verbal standpoint because if you think about it you want it to be the place where all of your most important conversations happen in order to have a place that has a climate of conversation it has to be a place where safe speech is used and so it was important very important to Jeff and me that we create that environment in the home so that the kids would come and talk you want your kids to talk to you about everything and if they don't think you're a safe person from a speech standpoint they won't and so it meant I had to fight against all these ingrained patterns that felt more normal to me than the good thing but knowing that that was what was going to build trust and vulnerability with the kids made it worth fighting for huh yeah because you love them now do something thank you I agree I think also for me is I'm very aware of how I talk at church and community I think having leadership positions your words mean a lot to people and so yeah just being careful to to make to be quiet when I need to be quiet if somebody's confessing sin and somebody's going through something sometimes it's not necessary for me to talk in that moment sometimes you might need to just be heard other times I do need to talk but I need to talk maybe cutting things with the Word of God but in a gentle manner and so I'm I always try to be aware in my church community of how I use my language to think about the small group situation when you're in a small group like a Bible study I mean we got to rein in the tongue there I mean there are some of us but we want to answer every question and we want to be that person has the last word right we want to sum up what everybody else said correct everybody certainly that small group Bible study situation is a place to really reign in our tongue you know our basic question was how do we do it and I know thinking about this question I just thought you know I I I can't do this if I'm on my own mm-hmm but I'm not on my own right I'm not on my own there is a Spirit of God who dwells in me and he is at work creating fruit right producing fruit and part of that fruit is self-control and our hope like in fighting all kinds of other sin is in being united to Christ and believing that as I am united Christ and sis spirit flows in me and works in me that I would discover months from now years from now as I grow in Christ and as he produces this that part of that fruit is self-control in every area of my life including the tongue

Channel: The Gospel Coalition

Views: 19,699

Rating: 4.961165 out of 5

Keywords: the gospel coalition, the gospel, gospel, coalition, pastors, pastor, minister, ministry, Christ, Christian, Christianity, church, churches, faith, reformed, reformation, bible, biblical, evangelical, Jesus, God, spiritual, spirit, Holy Spirit, preacher, preaching, teaching, jackie hill perry, jen wilkin, nancy guthrie, tongue, speech

Id: rSkSbCqJipU

Length: 9min 17sec (557 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 20 2017