How Do I Find Self Worth? In 1974, Gallwey said: “When we plant a rose seed in the earth,
we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it
as rootless and stemless. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and
nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up
out of the earth, we don't condemn it as
immature and underdeveloped nor do we criticize the buds for
not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at
the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs
at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time
it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times
it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly
in the process of change; yet at each stage, at each
moment, it is whole as it is.” I know that this week many of
you are expecting me to talk about part II of the Akashic Records. I promise you it's coming up,
you're gonna get that next week. But based on the emails I've
been receiving this week, I've decided that it's
incredibly important for me to interject and to bring things
more close to home. Today, we are going to
talk about the poison vibration, the invisible handicap. We are going to talk about the
vibration of total powerlessness which is a vibration which
is a direct preventative and a direct opposition
and contradiction to Source energy. It's not even victim mentality. What it is, is self-hate and shame. In my personal opinion, with the clients that
I see on a daily basis, I can tell you that the
collective human disease or the collective human disorder
can be seen as lack of self worth. It's a fairly pervasive condition. In fact I don't think I've met anyone
in my entirety of being alive that has pure positive focus towards themselves at all moments of the day. All self worth issues
stem from one thought. That thought is:
“I am not enough. I am not enough without
the things that I do, to justify my existence
here on this planet." “I am not enough" is the reason that most
people who are alive today, are running this endless
rat race for achievement. They are trying to become
more than they already are. It is the origin of most of the
stress on this planet as well. I'm sure that some of you
are new to spirituality, who are watching this video, and I am also equally sure
that many of you would consider yourselves someone
who has been on the spiritual path for a very long time. You've got a lot of years under your belt. And I think it's important to bring up the fact that even those
of us who consider ourselves highly spiritual and highly awakened, realize that many of
us have a motivation, even for doing what we do
in the spiritual endeavors that we may find ourselves on. The motivation for our
chasing enlightenment and the pursuit of self actualization
really stems from the belief for most of us
that we aren't enough as we are. This is one of the final
traps of spiritual practice. For example, when I mean a trap, I mean, those of us who are pursuing
to be free of ego, pretty soon you find out
that there can be ego even in being egoless. So one of these final
traps of spirituality is, why are you really pursuing
this path of spirituality? Are you pursuing this path
because you think you are not enough? If many of us explore this idea, we may find that the answer is yes. And only at that point,
will your spiritual path deepen. It's useless to expect yourselves
to be anywhere other than where you are. And most of us alive on this planet, came here so that we
could experience contrast so that it would inspire
new ideas within us. So, none of us really came down into what we would consider a
perfectly healthy household. You can't expect to be
taught what self-worth is, real self-worth, if you are being raised by adults
who have no idea what it is themselves. So the process of getting into self-worth
is always an individual process. You can’t look to anyone
else to create it for you. It's always something that you develop. Some of us may have been
luckier than others, many of us may have had
parents who reflected the ideas of true self-worth to us, but it's always an individual process. So, how can you go about
discovering your own self-worth? Which will move you into self esteem and will move you
into the vibration of self-love. You need to ask yourself:
“How am I enough?” So often we focus on what we aren’t,
instead of what we are. If you're focused on lack
you get nothing more than lack and so you have to take your
attention off of your deficiencies. You have to shift into thoughts
of appreciation of yourself. I watch quite a bit,
when people say they're very acutely aware
of what they want. But their acute awareness of
what they want is coming from such attention on what
they don't want, that they then become
very confused about why they are not getting
what it is that they desire. And the reason is because, what they are really focused on is, what's supposed to create
their desire in the first place, which are the initial conditions, usually lack that are inspiring them
to what they desire. So, once you are inspired
by lack of self-love, towards self-love, you have to stop focusing
on the lack of self-love, you have to stop focusing
on those thoughts of your deficiencies, in order to move in the direction
of self-worth and self-love. You also have to start
taking care of yourself. You can’t develop self-love
and you can't develop self-worth, if you are still devaluing your own life. What I mean by devaluing
your own life is, if you are filling your life up with
alcohol, or no sleep, or bad diets, or contributing physically to feeling
bad about yourself and your life, then you can’t step into
the vibration of self-love, which is where self-worth resides. So take a good close look at your life,
and figure out what aspects of your life you are creating a contradiction
to self worth and self-love. And work to incrementally release
those habits and patterns, so that your life can become
a physical reflection of someone who might love themselves, or someone who might have
value in their own identity. Recognize that productivity
can be an expression of self-worth, but if your value depends on productivity, you will never be able to feel value. The reason is because value will continue to be
a receding horizon line. What I mean by that is, once you make productivity
your idea of self-worth, then soon you will always
chasing the next productive thing and the next productive thing. You will have to keep justifying
your worth in your existence, and you will never achieve it. It’s like the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow, but nobody can ever find
the end of the rainbow. So you have to pull your teeth
out of the idea of productivity. There is nothing that you are doing here, in terms of justifying your own existence. You also have to figure out
what is rooting you to dislike. Many of you who follow my teachings,
know that I talk about the fact that anytime we are ever doing
something which doesn't benefit us, (that we are convinced
doesn't benefit us) we really have to look for
what is benefiting in us within that negative behavior. What I mean by this is,
many of you might say: “Well, rooting myself to something
which I dislike never serves me.” But, let's say that this is a belief: "If I say things that are self-critical, other people are more likely to like me, and think that I am humble.” Girls, you know who you are! So that might be a reason that somebody might root themselves
to a negative behaviors, because it's actually benefiting
them in some way. So look for the ways it
might be benefiting you. Another example is: “Sometimes I get pity
for my self-critical nature, and that feels like people care about me,
and so it feels like love.” So you have to decide if these roots, which are anchoring you to... self-hatred, so to speak, justify the cost of bad self-esteem. Next, you have to decide what
you really think about worth. Not what you have been
taught to believe. You have to examine your own mind and
your own ideas about worth in general. You've got to ask yourself: "Are they limiting or are they beneficial?" If they are limiting, you have to replace them
by finding new thoughts to think. And you have to leave
beliefs with their origin. I am going to explain quickly
what I mean by replacing thoughts. All that a belief is, is a thought
that's been thought over and over again, so much that it no longer takes
effort to think that thought. That thought becomes
a neural pathway. And the neural pathway
is now in charge of the effort to bring that
thought forth into reality. So, we call it, at this point, subconscious. When you find these limiting beliefs, I'm sure that many of you, might have watched my
video on shadow work. In that particular video, I explain
how to explore a core belief. So once you root out
your core beliefs, you have to figure out
where they came from. If you chase them back to the origin,
maybe it’s a circumstance, maybe it's one of the adults in
your life when you were a child. You got to be able to leave that
belief with who it belongs to. It's not your belief. It's something that you adopted. And once you leave it there, you have to replace it
with new thoughts. Your brain is a scientist. That means, you can use
it like the tool that it is. You can send it out
on a scavenger hunt for what you would
like to believe better. This is the best thing to do if you
would like to look for proof. You tell your brain: “OK! Now, today what
you are going to do, is an activity where you look
for proof of your own worth.” You basically create a situation
where you are telling your brain to look for the aspects
which it can appreciate which add to the
idea of self-worth, or which reinforce any belief
you're trying to replace. And the more often that
you think those beliefs, the more neural pathways will be
formed to those new thoughts, and pretty soon it will take
no effort to think them. I know that many of you
are a bit frustrated that this takes so much work. It's not like I am just
handing you a pill. But the answer to
everything in this life is: choose a new thought to think, choose a better feeling thought,
and your overall vibration will change, and the minute that that happens
you will be manifesting new proof into your life of new realities. The next thing you want to do is to avoid certain types of thinking. Thoughts like: - Comparisons with others. - Personalizing other
people's reactions to you. - Blaming others. - Jumping to worst-case scenarios. - Assuming. - Using shoulds. - Over generalizing such as using statements
which always involve "always" or "never". - Labeling and judging. - All or nothing thinking. That kind of thinking is where you're either a success or a failure. There's nothing in between
winning or losing. And most especially: - Making feelings facts. What I mean by this is: “I feel worthless therefore
I must be worthless.” When you catch yourself thinking
any of these ways that I have just mentioned, you've got to stop
yourself in that moment, and in that awareness of that
thought which you just held, figure out which thought would
be a better thought to hold relative to that subject. A good practice to employ would be: Pretend that you are
talking to a friend. Say, that friend presented the very thought
which you just came up with, to you, a thought like:
“I feel worthless... I must be worthless”. What would you say to that friend? And you have to start replacing
your own thought patterns in the same way that you often
replace other people’s thought patterns when they present you
with a limiting thought or a limiting belief. An example of a thought,
which is a limiting thought, something which pulls you
in opposition to self-love, would be: “That person hates me.” So, if you have a thought like that, in that moment, you could
stop yourself and say: “Well, that's assuming. In reality, I have no idea
what he's gone through today. He might just be in an
incredibly unhappy mood, because of something
that occurred earlier today. Or he may have been hurt by
someone who I remind him of, and it has nothing to do with me.” That's the example of
replacing a prior thought: “That person hates me”, with a new improved thought: “Really, that's just assuming. He could have been hurt by
somebody who I remind him of, and it has nothing to do with me.” Another good technique you can use is
meditating on core affirming thoughts. You can pick a thought which
feels good for you to think relative to yourself, and repeat it to yourself,
while you are in meditation, almost like a mantra, and let yourself sink into
the vibration of the words. Another good way of doing
this, is to record yourself, saying core affirming thoughts, and then put your earphones on at night, and while you are slipping
into a state of subconscious when your brain is no
longer in judgment mode, therefore more apt to
receive subliminal messages. You can play this list of
yourself talking to yourself with core affirming thoughts. It will amaze you how fabulous
your emotions will be when you wake up in the morning
after having done something like that. I want to speak to you
about affirmations, because affirmations are
fabulous, as we all know affirmations are basically
positive core affirming thoughts. Affirmations are going to be
different for everybody because the affirmation is
relative to where you stand on the emotional scale. But there is a good and
a bad side to affirmations. There is a way that you can use them
appropriately and inappropriately. Many people want to jump from square one to
square ten with affirmations. So they begin with
self hating and then they say: “Okay, well, the opposite of this is:
'I love myself'.” But if somebody is really
in the vibration of self hate, and they say the words:
“I love myself”, because all proof in their life
has been pointing in the opposite direction, (for most of us for many of years) that affirmation is a direct assault to your own personal sense of intelligence. So instead of it making you feel good, it's going to make you feel bad, because instead of showing you
into the vibration of self-love, it will make you more acutely
aware of where you aren't. So it's really important
when you're thinking of affirmations, to pick the thoughts
which FEEL good to you, which you really do line up with,
meaning you really do believe. So I may not instantly be able
to go into the vibration of: “I love myself", but I might think that
"I value myself because I care." That thought may
feel good to me to think and it's something that
all of me lines up with. And the more you pick these better
feeling and better feeling thoughts, pretty soon down the line, you can say: “I love myself” and really mean it. There won't be any hesitation
when you come up with that affirmation. I think the last one that I am
going to leave you with today, in terms of practices is, one that I used on myself
in the very beginning of my healing. Water is H20. It will always be H20. But how those H20 molecules
arrange themselves or structurize themselves, changes based on
what the water is around. Therefore if you have a glass of water
or anything with water in it, which is as you know, it’s food as well, it's humans,
we're 70 plus percent water; so if you are going to drink
something or eat something, (my favorite is to do this
with a glass of water) what you want to do is, put your hands on
either side of the glass and focus the vibration
of true appreciation into that water. If it helps you to come up with the feeling of really loving someone
that you have loved in the past, whatever thought it takes
for you to generate that extreme emotion
of love of something else, you can project that into the water. Visualize that sensation flowing
through you into the glass of water, you want to hold this thought in this practice for about two to three minutes
(the longer the better) and then I want you to drink the water. If you can make this practice every day, you will literally be restructuring
the water of your own body. Water which has been poisoned, with the thoughts of self-deprecation and criticizing
and all these kinds of thoughts, which you've probably been thinking,
which diminish your sense of self-worth. The first time that I did this
in my personal life, I was sitting in such a strong
attitude of self hate after years and years of abuse
and self torture after that, that when I drank that
water, I broke down. The first three times, I ended up
on the floor, breaking down, because it was such
a huge discordance between that vibration
I was putting into my body, and what I had been feeding
it over years and years. But after about three
months of doing that, I was able to come up with
these core affirming thoughts for the first time and I didn't feel guilty about saying them. So I would love you to try it. But believe me when I tell you
this can be one of the most life changing things that you can possibly interject
into your day-to-day life. It's my desire that you talk your way
into your own beliefs about worth. It's my desire that those
beliefs are in line with what's a benefit to you,
and never a limit to you. But I'm going to talk to you
for a minute about worth with respects to how
it is seen universally. Worth is inherent. You are an extension of Source. You are born with worth
and you die with worth. All anything in this life is, is either an obscurer or
an allower of that light, which is inherently yours. The best analogy I can
come up with for this is: Your worth is like a light. Anything you do in your life
is nothing but a showcase of that light. If it's at beneficial thing
that you are doing, if it's some sort of success
which you have achieved, all that is, is like a stained glass which is allowing that light
to express itself in beautiful ways. And anything you’ve done,
anybody you’ve hurt in this life, anything that you don't feel proud of, is nothing but dirt or filament
in front of that light. But the light is always there. It doesn't matter
whether you're a Hitler, or a Mother Teresa. At your core you are a unique, eternal,
infinite, precious, valuable and good person. You are in other words,
an endless sea of potential, which is completely unchanging. You can't add to it
and you cannot take away from it. It's interesting in this society
when we're talking about worth, that we draw some
imaginary line in the sand, where suddenly a person doesn't have worth and has to justify their own existence. When you came in as a baby, you did absolutely nothing
to justify your life. A baby can do nothing
except for sit there. It can’t do anything
and yet it is of infinite worth. It's because you are
looking at its potential. But that potential never goes away. If you are looking for
this arbitrary line in the sand at which now you have
to justify your own worth, you're not going to find it. It doesn't exist. It's an imaginary line
that we like to draw. You have as much worth
and potential today, as you did, when you were born, and you will have as much worth
and potential that day you die as you did when you were born. Your worth didn't go anywhere. You can't get rid of or lose
something that's eternal. A talent is not a worth. It's not a worth in and of itself. It's an expression of worth,
which is inherent in all beings, no matter how small,
no matter how large, no matter how much good or evil
that they've done in their life. The reality is, is that worth is eternal. There is no way you can get rid of it. There is no way you can even add to it. You can either showcase it or hide it. Remember that you are wonderful. You are of infinite worth, even if all you did for the rest of your life
was to sit in a vegetable state. You do not need to justify your life. You don't need to justify yourself
to yourself or to anyone. Okay... one second. This is really a difficult
one to get through. - It's okay? You are enough. You are enough exactly as you are
in this very moment and every moment. Oh my god... This subject is a relatively
emotional one for me, seeing as how. I struggled with self-worth so much and I understand what
can come of really finding it. When you focus
towards yourself and others with an attitude of searching
what to appreciate, instead of what to condemn, you will come to know this worth
which is inherently yours. You will come to know
joy for the first time. And this is my desire for all of you. This is my desire for
all people on this earth. So, good luck. Thank you for joining us today
Every Saturday
Ask Teal Subtitles by: amysmh82 + karlanna +
ask teal + Elimar Orlopp + Tanya Duarte
Thank you for sharing this.
Teal is an Indigo child
for more check /r/TealScott
Thank you, I didn't know about her.
What I got from the video is to do conscious effort.