“How to Discover What you Want” Today we are going to talk about
“How to Discover What You Want”. Your desires are responsible
not only for your expansion, but for the expansion of this universe. You are coming to preferences
all day every day. For most of you this is
a subconscious process. But those people who enjoy
the most happiness in this life, make this subconscious
process a conscious one. The people who get what they want, take the time to figure
out what they want first. There is a reason why
when you sit there in your aspect of I don't
know what I want, that you don't get the answer. It's because you can't be vibrating at the same frequency as a question
and be a match to the answer. Every time we focus on: “I don't know what I want.” “What is it that I need to have in my life.” “What is it that I'm
supposed to be doing.”; the answer to those questions
can't participate in your reality. You are literally preventing
them by activating only the vibration of not knowing. For this reason, you need to work
your way into knowing first, before you get the answer
to what you really want. The fastest way to do this
is to begin to visualize what it might feel like
to have the answer. So, when you lose your keys, what
might it feel like to find those keys? When you don't know
what you want, what might it feel like
to know what you want? What might it feel like to
know what your purpose is? Pay attention to your internal
monologue that's in a panic mode, that continues to reinforce the idea
that you don't know what you want. Shift those thoughts to potentially
knowing what you want. Shift those thoughts to letting
go of the need to know. Because you can't get this wrong. As you are living your life, you are coming to preferences,
whether you know it or not. And those preferences are causing
the expansion of the universe and that's the reason you
came here in the first place. So whether you know what you want or
you don't know what you want consciously, the universe is getting the message
and expansion is occurring. Play the game of what don't you want. Many of you may not
know what you want, but you definitely have a feeling of
resentment or resistance within you. And what that is, is you paying
attention to what you don't want. So pay attention to
what you don't want, and then play a
game of opposites. Once you figure out
what you don't want, spin it around and figure out what
the opposite of that would be for you. Now, the opposite of what
that would be for you might not be the
most obvious answer. For example: if you say: “I don't want to be sick”, the opposite of that might
not be: “I want to be well”. It might want to be: “ I want to have enough trust in
my body, to know that regardless of what happens to it, it is always
in alignment with health.” Take time to figure out why
things really bother you. My core belief exercise, which I
demonstrated in the shadow work video, is a really good one to use for this. If you figure out the details of why you
don't like what it is that you don't like, that will give you a more accurate
idea about what it is that you actually do want. Begin mentally playing out
how something could change. So, if you start with the aspect of
“I don't like the job that I am in”, start playing out what it might
look like if it would improve and continue to improve
and continue to improve. When you are playing
out this visualization of improving whatever
it is that you don't like, ask yourself: What would be better? Now, that might look like a
new scenario in your mind and then ask: What would
be better than even that? You want to continue following
this and following this until you get to what seems like the
best possible scenario for you, and that is what you really want. It is best to when trying
not to limit the universe, to work in terms of
essence and not details. Instead of focusing on the
details of your current job and using them to try to figure
out the details of your next one, focus on the feelings. What does your current
job feel like emotionally? Are you inspired or are you bored? Are you happy there or are you angry? Do you feel powerless? It doesn't matter why you
feel the way that you do, you just want to identify
those negative feelings. And now, you can use
that list to figure out what you'd like to feel: “I'd like to feel inspired”,
“I'd like to feel excited”, “I would like to feel as if I'm
a contribution at my job.” Perhaps what you want is a job
that allows you the freedom to be with your family more. Perhaps you want a job that
makes you feel more free. Do you feel insecure
in your current job? Then most likely what you want
is a job to makes you feel secure. We could consider this
a pivoting exercise. Figuring out very accurately
what I don't want, helps me to know what I do want, and once I know what I do want,
I can focus in the direction of that. Have the guts to ask yourself: “what do I want?” For most of you who
are asking this question, you have lived a life where it's been
proven to you again and again that life is not about
what you want, itʼs about what you
should be doing, it's about making the other
people in your life happy. This could not be farther from the truth. But if you've been living
that kind of life, there's a high likelihood that you
haven't even ask yourself at this point “what is it that I want.” Play a game of no limits, pretending that this universe
could become exactly what you want in the
best case scenario, a disneyland type of scenario. Now take out a paper and I want
you to write down: “I want... ”. Now with the hand that you
don't usually write with, I want you to begin writing anything
that comes to your subconscious mind, any thought that pops up. Just
write it down without judgment. It doesn't matter how
ridiculous this seems. Once you are done with that exercise,
at the bottom of the page I want you to ask
yourself this question: “If I could do or be
anything in this life, anything at all, what would
I want to do or be?" Once you have done these exercises,
which I have previously explained, I want you to ask yourself: “Why you want these things which
you've discovered that you want.” “Why” is one of the most valuable
questions in the universe. It pulls you into the vibrational
vicinity of what it is that you want. And you might be surprised
what it is that you really want. For example: We could start with:
“I want a new job”. If you asked “Why I want a new job”, the answer could be, “So I like what I'm doing for a living”. We can ask “Why would you want to
like what you are doing for a living?”, the answer could be “Because I
want to feel good about myself”. “I want to feel good about myself”,
in this scenario, is the root desire. You have whittled down your
desires to the root which is: “I want to feel good about myself”. Make a list of absolutely everything
that makes you feel good, that makes you feel passion or joy. On this list, we want everything,
however big or small, to be on it. So, things as “ I love falling in love”, and things as small as: “I love the way it feels
when my shoes really fit”. When you take time to really
pay attention to how you feel and the things which
make you feel good, you will become closer
to the answer to: “What I want in my life”. Because your purpose is always in tandem with what you feel
joy and passion doing. Pay attention to your feelings of envy. Envy is a good indication about
what it is that you want. True, when you are feeling envy, itʼs that you are watching
something you want that you don't think
you can have, but it is still, you looking
at something you want. Pay attention in your environment,
in your world, for those people who looked
the most happy to you. That is also an indication of what stands
out as your definition of wanting, your definition of what it is that would pull you the most
in line with what you want. When you don't know what you
want, you can find your life in a kind of stalemate: “I'm not really moving because I
don't know whether I want that or that or that, and I donʼt really feel
inspired towards anything.” Ironically enough, this is a good
time to take some kind of action. The universe is not worried about you
getting it wrong, because you can't! And at least, taking an action, jumping at an opportunity that
at least feels a little bit good or a little bit right,
is at least energy moving. And once you get that energy
moving in the right direction, in any direction, you will be able to have it
become much more clear what it is you don't like and like. So, if you think that
you want a new job, if it feels good to go
look for a new job, go look for a new
job and take one. Once you are in that new job, you will have a more accurate
idea about whether you actually want that kind of job or not, and that gets you closer
to what you want. Don't get yourself wrapped
up in the idea of mistakes. You really can't make a
mistake here on this planet, because everything is ever evolving, there is nothing that
you can't change. So, if you make a decision that you
decide you don't like down the road, you can shift that, this quick. Trying something, is
very beneficial for you to finding out what it is you
actually want and donʼt want. You must allow yourself
throughout your life, to ask yourself the question “What do I want?” and allow
the answer to change. We are ever evolving on this
planet, and every planet. We are always changing. We are always becoming more. This universe was designed for expansion. So, what you want one day, may not be what
you want the next, and that has to be okay, if
you want to live a happy life. We can't ever see the finish line, that is because the finish
line never stays in one place, and this is the way that
the universe wanted it. As we walk through our
lives making decisions and flowing energy towards
that which we want, when we achieve our various goals,
the finish line keeps moving. Every time we take a step
towards the end goal, it moves further and further away, so let that be okay. You will never get it done here
and you can't get it wrong. Source does not stand
in a space of perfection that you are now trying to catch up to. You are telling it through
every experience that you are living,
what to become. You are causing the expansion. You are doing this whether you
are conscious about it or not. You really can't get it wrong. The reason we want you
to find out what you want, it is not because there is some
purpose you're meant to fulfill, and if not allʼs for naught. It is because, we get more expansion out of you following your joy. When you follow your joy and you
figure out what it is that you want and you line up with
it and you get it, you are in a new
point of perspective. So, more expansion could come out of those people who line
up with what they want, than those who never
find out what they want. But expansion comes
out of them inevitably. So, many of you know that
I constantly tell people that the how in this
universe is not your job. When you are going about
saying things like: "I want love, but love must come
through this person named Brad or this person named Christine", you are disabling the universe. Because you are telling
the universe how that thing you want
will come to you. What if I was to take this a
step further and tell you that even saying I want love
or I want money is a “how”. The reason is this: there is not one thing on this earth
that is not done for the same reason and that reason is: “I want to feel happy.”
“I want to feel better”. Now, what if you made
that the end goal? What if that is really the “I want”
and everything else is just a “how”? What if the universe knows
better for you, than you do, how your happiness is
going to come to you. Why are we so afraid of that? How often is it that
you meet people and you ask them what
they really want in life, and they look and say: "Happiness." Itʼs kind of an inevitable. Of course everyone wants happiness. So, why is it are we so afraid
of making that the end goal? That thing which we
are really aiming for? It is because we are all pretty
convinced that if we say: “I want happiness above all else”, the universe will make
us very very happy, but very very poor, very very happy,
but very very alone. The universe knows you
so much better than that. That implies a level of distrust
which is not in tandem with alignment with this universe. If you say: "I want happiness.", this universe knows every
single necessary condition to bring you to that space. Now, happiness to most of you does not look like: “I am poor” or “I am alone”, it looks like abundance and a multitude of people
which you get along with. When you make happiness your goal, you are not limiting the universe
as to how to bring that to you, and it will bring it to you
in a way that satisfies all kinds of things in your life which you are looking at
now and calling happiness. To say, “All I really want in
this life is to be happy”, sounds like a common-sense answer, but as a life goal it sort of sounds
like it is destined for failure. But I'm here to tell you today,
that this goal is the goal which will enable all
necessary conditions of your life to fall into place. This goal is the holy grail. So, try this next time you're
doing your visualizations for what it is you do want, instead of visualizing how
those things will come to you, visualizing yourself in a that big house
with tons and tons of money, visualizing what it would
feel like to have people accept you
the way you are. I want you to visualize
what It would feel like for you to be really happy. If this means remembering
a time when you were, then do that. Put yourself in the feeling space
of being really really happy, and see how the universe
knocks itself out to deliver those things to you. Over the years, many spiritual traditions
have made an enemy of desire. If you look at these particular
spiritual traditions, they were formed in countries
where there was a caste system. They were formed in
countries where when you were born into
specific circumstances, there is no way to
change your stars. And when that kind of a collective
cultural belief begins to percolate, it becomes ten times easier
to make an enemy of desire or to try to tell yourself that
what you want is to not want than it is to line up
with what you want. The reason is because you are
convinced that you can't have what you want. Which is not the nature
of this universe. We do not need to make
an enemy of desire. Desire in itself is not what
is causing you to suffer. What is causing you to
suffer is the fact that you don't think you can
have what you want. What is causing you to suffer,
is that you don't think that you can live a satisfied life,
when the line of what you want keeps moving and
moving and moving. Because it is true, when it comes to desire, there
will always be more to desire. There is two ways of
closing the gap between where you are and
where you want to be. Step 1 is: "I understand that the minute,
that I want something, it is." "And the minute I line up with that and start thinking myself
into alignment with that, it must manifest in
the physical reality.” That gap is impossible to close
the way I have described it, if you think that you can't
have what you want. Step 2: The other way
to close the gap is: “I want the Now”. The minute you want the “now”, the gap closes and your higher-self
joins you where you are. So, the best way to play life,
is to do both of these things. But, I'm here to tell you today
that you cannot stop wanting. It is the design of life
itself for you to want, because wanting is what is causing
the expansion of this universe. And even when you say: “I want to be rid of desire”, that is a desire in and of itself. So, ease up about your wants. They will cease to torment you, once it becomes okay that you will
always give rise to new desires. Once it becomes okay that
you will line up with them, once joy becomes about the
process of lining up with them, your desires donʼt need to
be your enemy anymore. You need to figure out
what it is that you want, and understand that the
minute that you want it, you can line up with it, and you
can have it, and it will manifest. Want is not an enemy! Want is a super valuable
tool to your life. So, release resistance to it, and
go have fun finding out what it is.. Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte
www.tanyaduarte.com
