Hope Sabbath School Lesson 10 Times of Trouble in Family

[Music] [Applause] [Applause] welcome to Hope Sabbath school an in-depth interactive study of the Word of God we are in the middle of a powerful series on family seasons today times of trouble in the family you say Derrick I'm in the middle of one of those times well the counsel for us from God's Word will bless your life and bless your family today or you say I know someone we all can recognize we're in times of trouble somewhere in our circle of influence so welcome to Hope Sabbath school how are you joining this series hmm somebody how many of you are married let me see your hands all right and the rest of you would like to be married we'll be married at some point or maybe God's given us the gift of being single we're all at different places in the family season but you know however small our big our family is we can have times when we go through times of trouble so we'll gain some powerful insights from the Word of God today but first a few emails from I hope Sabbath school family around the world here's one from Florida in the United States Deana writes and says we love hope Channel the program is excellent and hope Sabbath school is a huge blessing to my mother who just had a 100 and first birthday this is a me too difficult for her to use the Bible study guys these days she loves Hope Sabbath school god is blessing your efforts keep up the good work on this far-reaching ministry well there she is Amy someone ought to send an email and wish Amy a happy one hundred and first birthday Dina thanks for writing to us here's a note from Raju in India and says I'm happy to watch hope Sabbath schools enlightening discussion and hear your contribution your class draws me closer to God well that's our prayer isn't it wishing you all God's blessings Raju thank you for writing to us and if the PR and the front means pastor god bless you as you continue to share the good news about Jesus with the world here's a note from a viewer in New York in the United States actually a donor won't mention the name but thank you for your support I enjoy watching her sabbath-school you are my Bible study class I sincerely appreciate you you helped me stay grounded and focused in the Word of God I wish I could do more to support the work but please accept this gift I pray it will go far and she sent a gift of thirteen hundred and sixty-eight dollars now I'm sure there's some significance to that number but I know God will bless many to hear a life-changing word thank you so much for your support Eunice writes from Indonesia and Eunice says I'm really too glad to have the hope sabbath-school team accompany me as I study the Bible before I thought it was boring just by myself I rarely even would study the Bible but after my friend introduced me to Hope Channel I feel like I have friends to discuss the Bible with amen I really feel God is blessing through this channel may God continue to bless your team let's prepare together for the soon coming of Jesus sending prayers to your team god bless you Oh Eunice thanks for writing you know we have hope channel Indonesia broadcasting in the Indonesian language but we're glad you're watching the English Hope Sabbath school there in Indonesia one last note and this is from Richard in Papua New Guinea Richard writes and says greetings from your family in Papua New Guinea we interact together with Hope Sabbath schools in depth interactive Bible study we know that the global family is united in studying the Word of God together we're not only blessed but touched by the truths that are unpacked through the discussion the insights we've learned from the study have actually empowered us to maintain a living faith in Jesus well that would be worth having the program today wouldn't it we thank God for such a blessed hope service school class we pray for unity in diversity take a look around folks we don't all look the same right and that's beautiful isn't it because we represent the family of God may we be united until Jesus comes surely we are all one in Jesus well we have a preacher named Richard actually it says PR at the beginning - maybe it is pastor Richard you know it's exciting to see spiritual leaders coming and joining folks Sabbath school isn't it learning more together well right now whether you're in Papua New Guinea or in the United States or India we've read a few countries we want to invite you to sing a 3000 year old scripture song it's called praise Him in the heights let's sing it together [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you know my wife started writing Scripture songs to help our children memorize the Bible but God must have known that I could use it too you know I my memories sometimes I felt like the little girl she was five she was asked what is your memory she said that's the thing I forget with but when you put it to music somehow it sticks in your mind and I hope there'll be a lot of hope Sabbath school members walking around saying raise the Lord in the heavens praise Him in the heights and even today's topic when we go through times of trouble in a family if we can lift our eyes up above the trouble we could praise Him still couldn't we let's pray together father in heaven thank you for hope Sabbath school for a hope Sabbath school members all around the world who have come together to hear practical counsel about times of trouble for families and I thank you that by your Holy Spirit you'll not only teach us but they will find courage and hope and encouragement in your word to us today and we thank you in the name of Jesus amen you know we're going to start our study by dealing with conflict how many families do you know that have to deal with conflict that's right it's all of us right different times in different places and I don't know about you but sometimes it things seems like everything's perfect and then BOOM you know and sometimes they're like why did I say that or maybe it was nothing to do with me something comes in from the side totally unexpected and we can have a conflict situation I'm thankful that the Word of God is practical and we're going to start in the wisdom of Solomon in proverbs chapter 15 and I'm going to ask Laurel if you'd begin our study today with verse 1 we're going to look at several passages in the Proverbs conflicts part of life in this broken world but we can learn how to deal with it in families okay I'll be reading from the new American Standard Bible proverbs 15:1 a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger all right hold on to that we're gonna look at three passage you will come back to see what we've learned still in Proverbs chapter 17 John if you could read for us proverbs 17 and verse 14 proverbs 17 and 14 from the NIV says starting at a quarrel is like breaching a dam so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out there's a lot of practical counsel right there what about Gladys could you read proverbs 19 and verse 11 proverbs chapter 19 verse 11 and I'm reading from the New King James Version and he says the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger and his glory is to overlook a transgression so some practical start starting points here for dealing with conflict and a family there might be a certain situation where we'll just say what be let it be right this is to use a colloquial expression this is not a hill worth dying on right soft answer what else did you learn from those passages in the Proverbs patience patience okay discretion you know there's another saying count to 10 right some of us may need to take a walk for 10 minutes in count to 100 but it's saying don't just be so quick response anybody else discretion discretion in the family sometimes somebody does something in and you say to the brother to the sister oh do you know what this person did he knows so you can actually stir up more right it becomes a vicious cycle yes let's look at what Jesus has to say about dealing with conflict Matthew chapter 18 Billy if you could read that for us in Matthew 18 beginning with verse 15 down through verse 17 and Jesus is speaking about specific conflict there as it relates to the church but it could certainly relate to families - sure I'll be reading from the King James Version Matthew 18 verse 15 to 17 moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone if he shall hear thee thou hast gained thy brother but if he will not hear thee then take with the one or two more that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established and if he shall neglect to hear them tell it on to the church but if you neglect it it buddy if he neglect to hear the church let him be unto you unto thee as an heathen man in a publican by the way I totally misunderstood that takes growing up because I thought that man if he becomes a like a heathen Republican you should get rid of him but the Bible says we ought to love our enemies right so we still keep loving them but you know this conflict in the church how would you apply that to the family could you use the same principle Stephanie what would they if you follow the same principle how would you deal with it if there's conflict in a family go to that one individual first okay and have that conversation and if that's not working maybe take someone else from your family so you have a brother right and you have parents did you ever have any conflict with your brother I can't imagine it but did it ever happen yes actually it did okay so you would say then don't go mommy mommy of course when you're little right yes but as you grow older right exactly and I laugh because when I was when we were younger that's what I used to do and I have apologized to him since yes but you're right if if I have a conflict with my brother now I speak to him individually okay so we go to the first first place right and if it's settled there it's done if not we may need to add some more always remembering what Jesus taught Adrienne if you could read Matthew chapter 7 for us always remembering what Jesus taught when we come into a situation when we try to work through a conflict Matthew 7 verses 1 to 5 sir and I'll be reading from the King James Version judge not that ye be not judged for with what judgment ye judge ye shall be judged and with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again and why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye or how will they'll say to thy brother let me pull out the mote out thine eye and behold a beam is in thine own eye da hypocrite first cast out the beam out of thine own eye and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye I don't know about you but I imagine some of the heroes kind of laughing you know got this huge log sucking suck in your eye and you're trying to take a little sliver or a splinter out of some your brother's eye right so what what's the lesson face yourself examine yourself okay so I'm going into a conflict situation and I want to remind myself of what then I also am a sinner yeah this right I'm also sinner Airy God I'm not perfect maybe I even contributed to this conflict amazing thought possible right what's the goddess I think of the verse in James 1:27 where true religion is keeping yourself unspotted from the world that doesn't say keep your brothers and sisters unspotted it's it's a time of reflection look in the mirror and see what you know what you need to clean up I'm gonna keep reading Romans chapter 12 Joshua if you could read verse 18 for us and then we'll stay in Romans for another text certainly no one here is saying why are there all these texts about dealing with conflict that doesn't seem very relevant for us and the answer is that's where we live we live in potential conflict at any time Joshua Romans 12:18 I'll be reading from the New King James Version and the Bible says if it is possible as much as depends on you live peaceably with all men not every Hill is worth dying on right what about Romans 14 Billy verse 19 Romans 14 and verse 19 sure Romans 14 verse 19 reading from the King James Version let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace and things were with one may I edify another so does anybody here have the personality that that's just natural for you in a conflict situation Adrian help me with that I mean just like not naturally what are the natural responses when conflict comes this - reacts right or run right and Ronnie doesn't solve it really doesn't know so what what is necessary they call in order for me to say okay remember my deep breathing exercises what's necessary in order to say I'm gonna seek peace in this situation Christ honestly because I said I don't have the UM my first thought is not to be peaceful and to breathe and to walk away at all but with with Christ and knowing what he's done for me and clinging to him when those happen I can try and have peace okay that's a very honest response because sometimes it's not easy is it I would say that besides cries and the importance of the relationship if you want to keep the relationship then you will try to mend whatever the conflict is instead of making a worse okay one last verse Hebrews 12 Eric if you could find that for us Hebrews 12 and verse 14 you know the Bible is so practical it's tragic that many even who profess to be Christians don't read the Bible because doesn't it say your word is a lamp to my feet and a light so try walking in darkness you're gonna hurt your foot or worse right you'll stumble and fall Eric what did we have in Hebrews 12 and verse 14 reading from the New King James Version Hebrews 12 verse 14 says pursue peace with all people and holiness without which one without which no one will see the Lord not only should we try to go with the peaceful option but we should actually pursue it you know we should be blessed are the peacemakers they shall be called the daughters and the sons of God right so it's worth thinking about conflict can you think of a Bible situation of a family dealing with conflict lots of them but think of one and how did they deal with it Travis I think of Joseph and his brothers that was serious wasn't it we're talking Joseph in the Old Testament the sons of Jacob right and talk to me about that conflict well well we know that they they were envious of him because his father showed favor to him and because of that their anger and jealousy they threw him in a pit and he was taken into slavery but but the the balance of the story the rest of the stories the amazing part is he shows mercy and compassion on them years later when there's a famine and and brings them all into the land of Egypt were theirs with a home I mean it's just it's just an amazing story before we go to another example did did Joseph play any role in kind of aggravating that conflict would you not agree that his father by showing favoritism to the son kind of set him up yeah right Stephanie did did Joseph play any role in aggravating that either either willfully or kind of obviously I think when he shared his the dreams that he had about the sheaves bowing down to him I'm sure that didn't encourage a positive so so John what counsel would you give let's just say Joseph came to you in that dime and said John I've had this dream about this but you know how things are in the family well what would you say to Joseph I probably would have counseled him to don't be quick to share your drift sometimes the timing it has a lot to do with whether averting or going into conflict maybe slow down right you know truth of the matter is that we all not trying to cause trouble but we can be part of the problem sometimes just because of ignorance or a lack of maturity or whatever Joshua yeah another story that comes to mind really and truly the story of Mary and Joseph uh-huh because there was a serious conflict there when we read these stories in the Bible we really have to put ourselves in their position if I'm a man and I have a wife and I have not been with her yet and she ends up pregnant like I'm my natural response like I would want to blow up you know and so yourself up and so I thank God you know he sends an angel so you know I see that and I think we have to really understand okay how did this person feel at this time how would we feel and make it practical in real for ourselves I I have to move and ask can you relate maybe not to that situation but to where there really was a conflict in your family and and how God helped you through that does anybody experience a conflict situation that you'd be willing to share to a million people in a hundred and fifty countries you know that's a who Adrian I've got a minor one but okay click nonetheless okay when I lived away from home and would come home to visit for vacations sometimes I had this thing where I liked us all to eat our meals at a particular time during the day and unwittingly was contributing to some conflict in the family because I was messing up the schedule of the rest of the family and the way God helped me to get through that was to realize that I was part of the problem and just to calm down and just go with the flow of the way they were doing and that solved it and so I think sometimes it there's a lot to saying looking at what am i doing to potentially be a part of this problem or then to solve it and and I appreciate Adrienne's illustration because it doesn't have to be something huge does it it may just be the scheduling of meals but it could that's conflict it could get into a cycle couldn't it where it just kind of gets faster and faster well I don't like your mother either what's that going to do with the scheduling of meals you know right it can happen Eric um what mine was with my sister my sister is very very headstrong she's very strong she's a very strong personality and I wasn't always able to understand that that's just how she is and we were always fighting or always arguing and they would now go without me and my sister arguing or fighting at some point my mom actually stopped us she she was so hurt and angry she shouted as I'm started crying and it wasn't at that point I realize this is not just an argument a conflict between me and my sister this is actually trickling down to my mom and perhaps even the people who are watching us and neighbors who can hear me boys who could it wasn't well not that loud and I remember praying to God and asking him please help me figure this one out because it's it's difficult it has it had been going for going on for a couple of months and I think it's part of course we moved we had moved here and there was a lot of disruption in our life at around that time and remember God giving me the ability to just when whenever it came close to an argument I would come come come very don't know become I'll be way calm instead of you know shouting back I would be able to actually talk back and over time our relationship has improved amen because of being able to calm down that's practical right that's practical and by the way something that Eric mentioned when you have other stresses going on in your life it can erupt as conflict with people that you really care about that doesn't make sense but that brings us to the second area of times of trouble not only dealing with conflict but dealing with anger and Laurel if you could read for us in Ecclesiastes chapter 7 and verse 9 and and then let's talk about is there such a thing as appropriate anger or is all anger bad let's take a look at Ecclesiastes 7 and verse 9 I I'll be reading from the new American Standard Bible do not be eager in your hearts to be angry for anger viz sides in the bosom of fools so that seems to suggest at least in that text that anger is not a good thing it resides in the heart of fools he says right let's look at Psalm for the Travis if you could find Psalm 4 verse 4 and let's see what else we can learn so far we'd say if I get angry I mean I may have the heart of a fool let's keep Psalm 4 verse 4 and I'll be reading from the New King James Version be angry and do not sin meditate within your heart on your bed and be still so that seems to say something a little different or it expands a little what does that say to be angry dunno okay so would that suggests you could be angry and sin absolutely but you could be angry and not sin yes all right Psalm 37 and verse 8 Joshua Psalm 37 and verse 8 you know I love that text says all Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable so we're not just saying well what opinion did this person have Psalm 37 and verse 8 yes and the Bible says cease from anger and forsake wrath do not fret it only causes harm okay and one text in the New Testament really in Ephesians chapter 4 verses 26 and 27 we seem to be kind of going back and forth don't be angry be angry but don't sin what are you here in Ephesians four verses 26 and 27 reading from the New King James Version be angry and do not sin do not let the Sun go down on your wrath nor give place to the devil that's quoting the the Hebrew Scripture right so when does anger becomes sin help me with that anybody when does anger becomes sin Joshua I say when you act out with your anger when you act on your anger in a negative way okay so you qualify because if someone if Stanton your husband traditionally if he comes and someone is attacking you is he gonna feel angry yeah yes he is right right and but then he's going to have to say okay how do i express this anger in an appropriate way right now I don't want to say all the things he would do to save you but there could be a line beyond which you'd say calm down okay safe now if he was like anybody else want to fight say okay take a breath so how do we know help me someone what's appropriate and what isn't appropriate as a response when we're angry yes John I think what comes to mind is in inappropriate is act would be to act for one's own purposes to in other words to protect one's own perhaps you might say reputation or interests motivated by selfish purposes may be an inappropriate response as opposed to protecting someone else's or a noble okay but let me challenge that and say let's say someone's abusing me and I'm angry about that oh I need to protect my own interests don't I yeah the question is how yes Trisha Lee BIA has to do it this whole idea of like being vengeful or wanting revenge okay so I'm like I'm angry but I have to fix it by harming you or hurting like I want you to feel the pain I'm feeling okay let's beyond just removing myself and protecting myself it's now like now you have to feel as badly as I feel or worse so I use very bad language or I want to make you hurt as well so I feel like that that revenge part is where it we're taking it a bit too far because God says vengeance is in his hand so we're not to harm other people were just to try to you know seek the good of other people and sometimes a good of other people's removing yourself and walking away hmm Nicole you're in pain this is the challenging topic is nothing I keep thinking about when Christ wouldn't do this was in the temple and he was angry because of how they had turned the temple into a place where they're selling and doing he overturned the table he was angry yes he turned over table and the people who he turned it over on probably felt that it was a revenge or was it was hurtful to them because they were it was taking away their profit so I don't know that we can I feel like here turn the table over but he didn't take the table and he was expressing righteous indignation because their behavior was hindering the people were I'm getting a true picture of God yeah and that comes back to what the agenda is well let's look at one other New Testament test hopefully people will go back and say I've got a study my Stephanie if you could read verses 19 and 20 oh I pray to God that we would live in families where anger is only expressed in a righteous way at the right time in the right way in love let's see what James counsels us in James 1:19 and 20 and I'll be reading from the King James Version where for my brother my beloved brethren let every man be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God another that's King James so another translation would be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to to become angry I didn't say don't ever become angry right so what's the wisdom in being slow to become angry yes you think right here you see your reasoning you know when you are very angry and you act in the moment you're irrational at that moment you're not really think maybe driven by that you'll be exactly emotions right so slow to become angry the first thing I have to ask is is this something worth getting angry about yes right a car cuts in front of you but maybe his wife is sick and they're trying to get to the hospital right I don't know all of the reasons and then the second thing is if I am justified in being angry what's the appropriate way to express them does that make sense yes has anyone been through a situation maybe at work or a home where you've had to really process that where anger just kind of came up and you're like okay how do I deal with this I've got several heads nodding I don't ready to talk Nicole just recently a couple of months ago I was at work and I received a poor performance which I had never received in the 11 years I've been at my job and I literally wrote an email that was really scaping tore my boss and did you send it no oh so that this is good counsel right I did send it and it's funny because the person who was in the office of these came to me and said do you really want to send that now and I was like no I think that was the spirit telling me to leave and I ended up getting up from work and I left work that day and I have been I've been out of work because I've had to take this time to develop the patience I need to go back and deal with the situation in a way that's going to be constructive and hope Sabbath school members around the world is saying I wish I'd thought of that especially easy with social media right email or whatever boom he's just sent him right back a good on should I have thought about that Billy I remembered I was so I do humanitarian aid work and one of officers that I was looking after they were procrastinating and the a procrastination is actually causing people to not receive received fun talk talking about on the children and that was putting their live their lives on the line and when I found out that they are procrastination is actually causing a lot of kids to get hurt it's you know I started getting angry but I I backed off and I you know went to my superiors actually deal with that because you know once your the lack of professionalism is actually causing people to get hurt and that gets to me and so I stepped back and I pass it to my superiors just to deal with it because I didn't feel like I would have made the best choice because I was very emotional let me ask from the information Billy had has given us was he justified in feeling angry yes so the question then is how do I deal with that appropriately and his decision was referred to to someone with greater authority that could address it was that valuable yes it's much better than ignoring it right yes but let's say we're dealing with something else we've talked about anger anger we've talked about conflict let's let's talk about what if abuse is going on in a family and there's all different kinds of abuse right yes what are some types of abuse that might happen in a family verbal verbal abuse emotional emotional abuse physical abuse sexual abuse I mean there's lots of difference even sometimes people can use religion in a spiritually abusive way right that's not it's not a true reflection of the character of God let's talk about how we handle those times of trouble in a family and let's go to Colossians chapter 3 John if you could read that for us verse 19 of Colossians 3 and verse 21 Colossians 3:19 and 21 and reading from the NIV it says husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them verse 21 fathers do not embed or your children or they will become discouraged what are some ways that a spouse and I'm sure that there could be a a wife who could be harsh with a husband it works both ways right or a parent harsh with children and children harsh with parents and siblings harsh with each other we all of that what are some ways that you might be harsh to another person illiterate a belittling the other person you putting them down them down all the time saying hey you're dumb or you're not a smart enough you see you did that because you're not good enough you will never amount to anything giving them negative messages harsh what else treating someone harshly have you ever had people treat you harshly yes of course yes how's it feel huh what kinds of things would would convey that besides the littling withholding withholding of affection withhold aha attention to someone that's in need of that horse to someone so yeah not only doing bad things to them but withholding good things needed things right back to your frustration with someone holding back from these children something they needed anybody else yes definitely sending someone's words misrepresenting someone's words either reading into it more than their or maybe even distorting it deliberately to hurt them in those kinds of kind of situations why is any of those behaviors and of course we know that unfortunately there's a lot of abuse in the world why is any of that inappropriate for a follower of Jesus why is that inappropriate yes err I think it's because it's devoid of love ah that's my my view if you're doing these things you don't really love this person because love does not keep a record of wrongs for instance yeah you quoting from first Corinthians 13 so take a look at one text I think Eric's on track first John chapter four Adrian could you read first job 4 verses 7 and 8 this is really it's kind of a restatement of what Jesus said about the two great Commandments let's see what it says in John for sure so reading from the King James Version beloved let us love one another for love is of God and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God he that loveth not knoweth not God for god is love so eric says and by the way remember Jesus said love God with all your heart and love your neighbor those are the two great Commandments the reason there's no place for abuse coming from a Christian follow Jesus is because the love of God is not there right so instead of being harsh if love is in my heart how will I be - still be firm like Jesus cleansing the temple might I still think of some other situation you know you have to be forceful could you maybe sometimes even need to be forceful but the love of God is directing your heart right I think it comes back to really representing Christ properly because as Christians we are representatives of God right and so if we do things in a way that misrepresents his character that's why it's a problem so whatever the situation calls for we have to ask how would God act in this situation how would Jesus act in this situation and act accordingly that's that's challenging isn't it because a lot of times as we said earlier we just want to react instead of pause and praying I'll come to your point bill in just a minute Stephanie well I was just thinking on what he had said step back and ask God how do I react to rightly represent your character because each person has a view of what love looks like and they put their own definition on it so you may act in a christ-like way but it doesn't match their definition so you're not just thinking what would Jesus want me to do generically but specifically in this situation Billy so what Adrienne said is very important because a lot of times people you know instead of looking at Jesus they look at their parents they look at Oh there's how did my so-and-so handle this right so so the problem is that you know sometimes you know the person has a misrepresentation of Jesus it might be the first elder at church or it might be my parents in their following sort of like a mix of cultural and religious practices that is not necessarily from Jesus so they think that well in order for me to love my my kids you know I should be you know forceful to them and they say well you know since my parents you know they go to church all the time you know and they are very religious so maybe that's the best way you know to show them love which is different from Jesus Jesus showed love in every situation so instead of looking at Jesus they look at people that they think are more religious in them and they copy their behaviors and that that's not necessarily the best example it's very easy to say I was expected to be like this instead of saying is that really a reflection of the character of Jesus or do I need to break that tradition all right it's really important that we talk about this thank you so much Billy for bringing this up because we have hope Sabbath school members are from across the world right and there are many cultures and countries where there are certain practices that are culturally acceptable that are contrary to what God wants for us so you know in many cultures a man could have a wife and family and then have other women and other children on the side and that's contrary to God's Word or it may be acceptable for a man to beat his wife in certain cultures and no one says a word but that is contrary to God's Word so I it's very important for us to talk about this because you cannot feel like you are going to be at peace with God simply because the culture around you accept something that's profound I remember meeting a young man from a nomadic tribe in West Africa he said in my tribe we don't understand what it means to have love between a man and a woman for us a man has cattle and he has wife's in there his property and I'm thinking that is so strange for me but for him to learn no I want you to love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it that's like a totally different worldview yes and so thank you we have to test and say is this thing that's happening in culture we're talking specifically here about dealing with abuse you know in my culture we beat them with a stick well does that reflect the immeasurable unfailing love of God so here's my question whether the person is being physically abused verbally abused sexually abused emotionally abused what counsel would you give officially let's say a friend comes to you maybe even at work and she says I'm in this situation help me what well I think the first thing to do is you cannot excuse the behavior so sometimes you'll say oh well I did something to deserve it or that person had it was just they were just upset or they just get like this sometime don't give an excuse for something that's wrong and the next thing to do is you have to be in a safe place you have to be pretty you have to protect yourself you can't just stay in I'm gonna pray for you while you're beating me I can pray for you from a distance but you have to distance yourself from anything that's gonna harm you physically like that and don't give an excuse for that person's behavior so you would tell her or maybe it's a work male associate who says I'm in an abusive setting to find a safe place I would tell them it's not okay and find a safe place and if that safe place can't be in your room at the house then you'd have to find somewhere else to go they have to come stay with me someone you might also need to be prepared to have a solution okay okay or I'm gonna send an email to the hope to have a show today because Fred's not gonna come and live at my house right but let's let's give an alternative to him giving up in despair because he feels like he's trapped Stephanie and I would try to connect them with some professional help because people are educated and trained in areas that I know I'm not and they know where resources are that can help someone in this situation all right so you're going to help them encourage them to find a safe place connect them with maybe people who have expertise that we don't have anybody else been in an environment where it's just not safe Gladys connect I'm with a spiritual help as well yes I look I came from an abusive abusive relationship and what helped me was a group of friends that came around means around me and pray for me and they encourage me and they walk me through the steps till I was able to deliver myself from the situation so not only physical help being in a safe place but also surrounding yourself with spiritual people that will build you up because when you're in a situation like that your self-esteem is so low that you really don't believe that you're worth anything it doesn't matter if you're being born and raised in the church you get to a point that your mind tells you you are worth nothing so you need people with spiritual people that will build you up to remind you what God has made in you and the treasure that he putting you that he you would bring it out again you know that's beautiful and I we've got some real balance here because to simply say well let's have a little prayer and we'll send you home to that dangerous environment or let's have a little prayer but not seek to connect you with some Christian counselors that could really provide some expertise it sounds like all of that together that's gonna take a lot of time energy commitment sacrifice yeah what do you think Adrian I mean there's so many needy people in the world yeah you can only do what God places in our hands to do so I shouldn't be worried about the thousands of people well not that I shouldn't be worried I think a phrase that but if I know of somebody that's in a situation like that that's what I'm responsible so that person God puts in your path to be faithful to the work at hand right to care for that person certainly to help them be delivered do you know anyone who's been delivered from that kind of unsafe environment anybody Nicole well I mean my profession is one where I come across individuals on a regular basis that are in those kind of relationships and so I know many of individuals who through various means have been able to get out of the relationship including having a place to go that they could actually recollect themselves and figure out okay what's my next move so I mean it's it's it's it's part of like what I do unfortunately some in those unhealthy environments will join a gang because there's a gang that they'll kind of watch your I guess is the expression to watch your back or to to be there for you but that moves them into other unhealthy behaviors like violence or crime or whatever it's really yeah without naming individuals the Christian counseling is important because you can remove yourself from the physical situation that's bad but sometimes there are things that are happening in our lives in our mindsets that we need to deal with because you don't want to ever repeat that cycle or get with somebody or get into another relationship where you don't recognize those warning signs and the same thing can happen again and so I know someone that was you know safe from one situation but now sometime later found themself again with somebody else that was also abusing them and so the counseling is not just for the abuser it's also for the victim as well to have them again restored and renewed and have a different perspective and even have tools to recognize unsafe situations so they don't end up in this in the cycle repeating in their life we're talking about times of trouble and families conflict anger abuse someone might say I'm just gonna stay single [Laughter] we're already in a family of some kind right and am I going to face those challenges back to Gladys your testimony alone or am I going to have a community maybe they're not biological relatives sometimes our church family is closer to us yes then our biological family right they love us unconditionally and they're not constantly trying to pull us away but pull us toward a God who loves with an everlasting love well we want to move on in the last section to some wise counsel for times of trouble because whether it's conflict or anger or abuse we're going to have times of trouble here's some wise counsel milena could you take us to Psalm 50 and verse 15 this is one my actually one of my favorite words from the Lord in the Psalms because this is not the psalmist David giving counsel but this is the word of the Lord Himself Psalm 50 and verse 15 I'll be reading from the New King James Version call upon me and the day of trouble I will deliver you and you shall glorify me hmm okay milena I'm gonna give you an opportunity this year a time now I know you've not been a Christian your whole life right so maybe there was a time when you didn't even know what that meant to call upon him in the day of trouble and he would deliver you but you've come to know Jesus so can you think of a time when you were facing trouble and you said I need to call upon the Lord in the day of trouble yeah just a lot with um like first coming to Jesus it was a lot of like having to let go of the old me and becoming the new me and it took me a long time to get there but you know Jesus is really good and he did that for me and when I really needed him he was always there so I praise God for that amen amen amen anybody speak yeah it's real isn't it anybody else at time they're like man I'm gonna Dave trouble and you know I could go and medicate I could take something I could get angry with someone to fight them and it's not nothing to do with them I mean you say I'm gonna call out to the Lord in the day of trouble anybody else give someone a chance to share Gladys yeah one time in my classroom as a teacher right you're a teacher yes I'm a teacher and student a recorder between the teachers moving from one classroom to another a teacher student recorded I know the student getting beat up like video request video recorded and it took it to through the family and you got a big thing it was my classroom but I was teaching somewhere else I was not in the classroom at that time so the parents of the child that got beat up just said you know that teacher needs to be fired immediately so I got a call middle of the night and say probably you shouldn't come to work tomorrow because you're gonna get fired and I remember just like crying out to God I was like I don't even know what I'm being accused of is that a day of trouble by the way yeah so I told my principal I said I want to come and I want to know what is going on so the whole night I was just praying oh son lord please help me what is going on what's going to happen and the next morning it was just like the kids themselves I mean I didn't even have to defend myself the kids themself were like no she you know she was not even here and everything all the evidence was presented but I just think the Lord because it was just like such a very exhausting emotionally exhausting time not only through prayer I was able to get through that whole psalm 50:15 in your mind and go with us to Jeremiah chapter 33 and verse 3 my favorite verse your favorite verse okay Travis if you have that Jeremiah 33 and verse 3 what does it say and I'll be reading from the New King James Version call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know so there's another text in James 1:5 says if you lack wisdom as God this one's saying cold to me and I'll show you okay so I'm not only gonna deliver you but I'm going to show you what to do okay so there's another practical experience God's going to guide us in that now one of the things you may ask us to do in processing this time of trouble is to forgive the person who is causing the trouble hmm let's look at that Stephanie if you would in Colossians 3 12 and 13 and hmm has anyone been challenged with that and you go but they don't deserve it right yeah Colossians 3 12 and 13 yes and I'll be reading from the King James Version put on therefore as the elect of God holy and beloved bowels of mercies kindness humbleness of mine meekness long-suffering forbearing one another and forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against any even as Christ forgave you so also do ye so if you left the last phrase off and just said forgiving one another the human response would be what why oh why how how I think more why why should I you know if we're talking the person who's been wronged why should I what's the answer to that question why should I forgive someone by the way they may need not even admit that they've done wrong yes right they might not even want to be forgiven oh why should I forgive her Laurel why should I forgive him regardless of that person's response or reaction ultimately it gives us peace and in our hearts because if we hold in this bitterness and resentment it it could also cause us maybe to sin ourselves but if we just let it go and just forgive and have peace and choose to love then we're acting more like Christ in that way isn't that what Jesus did on the cross yeah What did he say father how many of them were asking forgiveness at the time none of them maybe one Lord remember me right but you're saying one reason is because actually if I hold that in it's just it's only gonna hurt me yeah there another reason why we should forgive Christ forgave us we are reflecting it's exam the character of Jesus who forgave us - Stephanie I I'm just thinking that's a miracle of God truly in order to forgive it has to be Jesus working in our hearts so is it possible John that actually a time of trouble could become a time to grow closer together and closer to God is that possible it is possible yeah the building blocks have to be taken place there because the time of trouble reveals what is already in the heart and that you don't really develop it because you're in time of crisis or time of trouble and so if you have you have developed dependence upon God and forgiveness we have the assurance that that God accepts us and and it brings the community together and isn't there a text somewhere that says for we know that all things doesn't say all things are good right but all things work together for good to those who what wasn't love God to those who are the called what should we say to these things if God is for us even when you're facing times of trouble conflict anger abuse those can be times that God can work good as you love him with all your heart and say God give me the poor the love that you have into my heart so I can love those around me God could actually move us forward in our relationship with him and in reflecting his immeasurable up to others I pray for that in every situation as we go forward don't you let's pray together just now father in heaven as we face times of trouble in families and certainly that will happen at different times in life thank you that you will give us wisdom you'll deliver us we can call to you we can pray for your love to be manifested whether it's conflict or anger or abuse you'll guide our steps in a way that will bring a safety and peace and honor your name and God we just thank you for that even today in the name of Jesus amen well thanks for joining us for hope Sabbath school it's a tough journey at times but the Lord says I'll never leave you or forsake you that's good news go out and share that good news [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you [Music]

Channel: HopeSabbathSchool

Views: 26,790

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Keywords: Hope, hopesabbathschool, bible study, Derek Morris, seventh-day adventist

Id: 3_P6TYlEtHY

Length: 58min 29sec (3509 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 02 2019