Hope for Lonely Hearts

all right well let's turn in our Bibles to two passages together we're going to look at first Corinthians 13 in Genesis chapter 39 and the title of my message is hope for lonely hearts first Corinthians 13 in Genesis 39 let's pray together now father as we open your word I pray that it will speak clearly and loudly to everyone for those who are single that they will get a better understanding of your plan and purpose for them for those who are married that they would gain a greater understanding of what you have called us to do Lord most importantly we just pray that we will all be looking to you for our strength so we commit this time of Bible study to you now in Jesus name Amen you know I think everyone is looking for love in life an extensive survey was recently done by a leading polling agency and questionnaires were distributed to people of various ages and occupations and the key question was this what are you looking for most in life and the results were compiled the aunt of the analysts were surprised because most of them thought that they would receive answers that would suggest materialistic goals but at the top of the list was love what are you looking for most in life people said love and we want to love and we want to be loved I know it sounds like a cliche but that's exactly what people want which then raises the question what is love I think for a lot of people it's lust that's all it is so do we really have a good understanding of it well if you're looking to our culture for cues you're going to be sorely disappointed I mean if you're looking to Hollywood people to show you how to have a lasting and meaningful relationship that's not going to work at all I hope you're not getting your cues on what love is from popular songs otherwise I think you'll be very confused I actually I went in googled all the songs with the word love in them and I looked at him for a while and then I started arranging them around and here's what I learned about love from popular music first of all there's the classic song what the world needs now is love sweet love so that's establishing that everyone's looking for it then foreigners saying I want to know what love is and we must not forget yummy yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy okay but what is love well according to the songs one song says it's a many-splendored thing another says love is the answer and Led Zeppelin sang about a whole lot of love meatloaf saying he would do anything for love but Phil Collins warned us you can't hurry love but why we wonder well another gives the answer when they say that's the way love go so let's put this all together and review what have we learned so far we need love in our tummy because love is the answer and love as many splendored we need a whole lot of it because but you can't hurry it because that's the way it goes but then when someone had to go and rein in our parade and come up with a song title that said said I love you but I lied that's an actual song title causing the black-eyed peas to wonder in their song where is the love the Beatles famously saying all you need is love then they broke up and suit each other and another song warns as too much love will kill you maybe that's why Dionne Warwick's saying he'll never love this way again and Tina Turner saying what's love got to do with it maybe the Jay geils Band had a right when they simply saying love stinks so what we need is real love not the pseudo love of culture today so in this message I want to talk about love and lust and loneliness and being single if you're a lonely person I want to offer hope to you because maybe you're wondering if you're ever going to find that person in life that you would marry and spend the rest of your life with but guess what single people aren't the only ones who are lonely out there did you know that there's lonely married people too because maybe they're in a sort of a loveless marriage maybe they have a disengaged mate or maybe they found themself in a marriage or one is a believer and the other is not so effectively they're going to directions in life and so there's loneliness that can happen in a single situation as well as in a marriage relationship but I think we make a big mistake when we think that marriage is going to solve all of our problems or to think that a man or a woman is going to somehow rescue us from all of our problems you know little girls I have discovered I have four granddaughters now I raised two sons and now with four granddaughters I've entered into a whole new world of pink and glitter and princesses and mermaids and all these things you know and I've discovered that little girls really do generally like the color pink and they like to dress up like little princesses and when I'm around them you can tell because I have leftover glitter for days you notice that glitter kinda sticks on you for a really long time and people to say why is the glitter on your face let me explain but it's funny how the little girls will talk about wanting to be a princess and they'll dress up like a princess and so when I play with them I always get the part of the Prince of course so they're all the little princess parts and I have to have the Prince a something you know and little songs and okay I shouldn't tell you too much information but done but there's this longing in the heart of a little girl you know that someday her prince will come and does she gets older and instead of the Frog turning into a prince the Prince turns into a frog she used to sing someday my prince will come and now she's singing someday maybe another Prince will come because that other one didn't work out so well and then we enter into our adult years and sometimes people never really get over this they're still thinking a man a woman is going to fill the hole in their life a Hollywood actress said quote I believe a lot of us feel there's a big hole in our hearts an unfortunate eight that's fixed by some people eating too much others with drugs in my case I'm a romance junkie and I think what they're looking for is this sort of euphoric excitement that they find when they initially hook up with someone and they're flush with all the feelings of attraction but then you know after a long period of time passes like two weeks they break up and they move on again so let's just start with a simple truth you need to be content where you are irregardless of your marital status if you're a single you need to be content as a single and if you're married you need to be content is a married person and understand this no person is going to fix those needs deep in you it's all about God that's who we need first and foremost so let's get first things first that was a problem with a woman at the well must have been a pretty good-looking girl she had a lot of husbands in shape five was living with a guy at present when she met Jesus and Jesus used the well that they were sitting by as a metaphor for life he said if you drink of this well you will thirst again effectively saying lady let me tell you something guys aren't going to meet the deepest need of your life that's why you keep hooking up with new guys one after the other but if you drink of the water that I give you'll never thirst again the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11 I found in whatever state I'm in I'm content Hebrews 13:5 says let your way of living be without covetousness and be content with such things as you have for he himself has said I will never leave you or forsake you so it's the Lord we need first and for most find your contentment in your relationship with God now as you are doing that here's a verse that you might want to keep in mind Psalm 37:4 delight yourself in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart that doesn't say delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you a husband or a wife he'll give you the desires of your heart so first find your fulfillment in Christ himself and then you want to wait on the Lord don't be obsessed with finding a person focus your energy on seeking God and I believe in his timing he will bring that right person to you and so we want to be seeking first the kingdom of God in His righteousness and all these things will be added to us better to be happily single than unhappily married comedian Chris Rock said quote do you want to be single and lonely or married and bored are those the only choices Chris I beg to differ if marriage is miserable the fault lies with the participants not the institution there's a common assumption often held by singles that married people are generally unhappy they reason as follows well 50% of all marriages end in divorce right and then the 50% who stay married are miserable so why get married some have even said you know the whole institution of marriage is outdated in fact an appalled 40 percent of single said they thought the institution of marriage was obsolete so many will say why don't we just live together instead it's a far better idea why bother getting married well it's just a piece of paper what does it really mean now that sounds logical perhaps to some but actually it's not correct factually for starters living together will hurt not help your chance of having a happy marriage this is borne out by statistics the Census Bureau informs us that there are 1 million unmarried couples now living together that's a 600 percent increase in this last decade less people are getting married these days and if current trends continue a minority of adults will be married in the next few years but here's why living together is wrong number one as I already cited you will actually hurt your chance of ever having a good marriage studies show the couples who live together before marriage have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those that don't and by the way that's based on 50 years of data furthermore 20% of those who are cohabiting know excuse me let me restate that 20% of cohabiting women are unfaithful to their mates as opposed to 4 percent of those who are married you know think about it I mean what's good for the goose is good for the gander right what does that even mean I mean really one of those expressions we throw the goose on the end or what but I think the idea of it is hey I mean if I'm in a relationship with a girl and we're living together and we're not married and I see a more attractive girl what do I need to be worried about this commitment I mean we're not married right and so I'll go you know see you see once you start blurring the lines and you blur all the lines and so it becomes very problematic on a number of levels but here's the greater reason to not live together quite simply it's a sin it violates God's law it violates his order is revealed in Scripture he will not bless it that means that every day you live this way you're effectively separated from God in fellowship and it's going to drive a wedge between you and your mate so living together is not the answer what what about all these unhappy marriages well listen I know some people who are not happy in their marriage but the fact of the matter is is most people who are married are actually quite happy Timothy Keller in his book the meaning of marriage pointed out and I quote all surveys tell us that the number of people who say they are very happy in their marriage is high about 61 to 62 percent Keller says studies have found that two-thirds of those unhappy marriages will become happy within 5 years if the people stay married and do not get divorced during the last two decades of great preponderance of research evidence shows that people who are married consistently show much higher degrees of satisfaction with their lives than those who are single - for first or living with a partner and quo now some of your singles are saying well no you're just totally bumming me out I thought you're going to talk to us tonight and now you're just telling this marriage is better nanny nanny nanny it's not at all I'm just trying to explain to you that there's mythology that people often buy into so let's understand that fact of the matter is there are advantages to being married clearly there are advantages to being single far too often single people wish they were married and sometimes married people wish they were single again you know single people are saying I'm lonely I want someone to share my life with I'm tired of going into a restaurant and saying table for one or even worse bitter party of one but then somehow I married might say oh man I missed the good old days when I was single you know I could leave my clothes laying all over the house and do whatever I wanted and come and go as I please and spend my money the way I want to spend it without being nagged now I'm married and I have all these responsibilities you know the grass is always greener on the other side so there are really advantages and disadvantages to both Paul lays that are pretty clearly in first Corinthians 7 32 to 35 he says when you're unmarried you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Lord marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and then wanting to please your spouse leading to so many more demands and your attention the time and energy that married people spend and caring for and nurturing each other the unmarried can spend in becoming holy instruments of God so I'm trying to be helpful to make it as easy as possible for you and not make things harder so Paul is not critical of a married person wanting to please their spouse because the fact of the matter is you should be that way but when you're single you don't have that responsibility you have flexibility you have mobility you can do things many married people cannot and this is especially helpful when it serving the Lord and so if you are single now then you can utilize the opportunities before you but know this it's very likely you're going to be married one day so if that's something you really hope for in desire don't despair you know I know there are some people that don't feel like they ever want to get married and there are some people that will remain single their life and happily so and that's absolutely fine I mean I might cite that Paul the Apostle was not married to our knowledge and how about Jesus Christ is he a good example I think so he was never married so here are true two outstanding examples one good one flawless of living as a single person in effect and so there is a life that God can give to you in that way that can be very fulfilling but if you're saying well that's not me I really want someone then chances are you're gonna get married studies show that 9 out of 10 Americans are married at least at some point in their life and I believe that the Lord has someone picked out for you so guess what you can start praying for them you may not even know who they are fact is you may know them and you haven't discovered them yet you know sometimes if someone that's a good friend and and you know you don't think of them as a potential mate they're just a buddy of but they remember the opposite sex of course and then one day you just look at them and it's like a little cheesy it dawns in you what about their so that happens maybe you'll meet them tomorrow maybe you'll meet them tonight what should you be looking for in that person that would be a potential mate well a survey was done among singles and the most in callin important qualities singles were looking for were number one beauty forty-three percent number two brains 50 percent and number three disposable cash 6% it's interesting that no mention is made of inner qualities and I can tell you after being married for 37 years a beauty is fine I happen to be married to a beautiful woman but the inner qualities are what really start to matter in the long run you know I think you know nobody likes to get older but let's just try to delicately say sometimes maybe it's a greater struggle for girls and guys right you know guys are like I'm wrinkled and proud of it I use a brillo pad to make it even worse where girls are like oh no how wrinkles I have to get rid of them you know more Botox injections and they have to actually tell you how they're feeling because their face doesn't move anymore they look perpetually surprised you know just listen girls you're going to get older deal with it how about this grow into a woman of God not a cougar all the Cougars are walking out we're out of here they're going to pick their dog up and their stroller and push it out but we won't know they're mad because none of I'm with you I'm going to get letters email here's your goal girls you should seek to be a woman of virtue that's what the Bible says that's why we call our women's ministry virtue it's based on proverbs 31 where it says who can find a virtuous and capable wife she is worth more than precious rubies her husband can trust her and she'll enrich his life shall not hinder him but help him listen to this charm is deceptive beauty does not last but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised you know virtue might be thought of as a feminine word but actually in the original language it's not feminine at all it's translated in many ways sometimes the word virtue is the root word for virtue is used to describe an army and on another occasion scripture a man so it doesn't speak of femininity as much as it speaks of strength power and influence so the Bible is actually saying be a woman of strength be a woman of influence because God has given you a skill set to influence in a profound and significant way you should not be preoccupied with your appearance you shouldn't disregard it all together either but I'll say more about that in a moment first Peter 3 says what matters not it's not your outer appearance the styling of your hair the jewelry you wear the cut of your clothes but your inner disposition cultivate inner beauty the gentle gracious kind of God delights in you know how many girls today give even a passing thought to the inner person that's why Christian girls are so attractive that's why non-christian guys get unchristian girls because you've got that special something the other girls don't have and it just sort of shines through it's that virtue it's that godliness that is a very magnetic thing as a matter of fact that's how I came to initially even pay attention to the Christians of my high school campus there was a girl there she wasn't like a beauty queen but I mean she was an attractive girl but not strikingly attractive but there was something about her that caught my eye that drew me to enter into a conversation with her where I saw that she had a Bible and out of curiosity I wanted to know why a perfectly cute girl would waste her life as a follower of Jesus because I was not a believer clearly and then when I went to that meeting where she was attending I heard the gospel for the first time and that was the day I came to Christ and after I prayed that's the Lord to come into my life that girl came up to me and threw her arms around me and hugged me and said god bless you brother and I thought I like Christianity good now that girl never became my girlfriend but the Lord used her to get my attention you see that's a good thing but many girls today you know obsess over their appearance it's been shown that eighty percent of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance research has shown the more time a person spends consuming media the more unhappy they are with their body maybe that's because you're looking at images of girls who have been airbrushed and Photoshop and check this out those girls don't even look like that you know after they've done the the editing on it fourth year you're looking at almost a fictitious character like a CG image of sorts so you know we have these unrealistic expectations so here's what I'm saying to you now don't get me wrong because I'm emphasizing one thing so let's not miss the other here's what I would say why not give at least equal time to your spiritual life as you give to your physical life spend as much time in Bible study and prayer as you spend in working out better yet spend more time first Timothy 4:8 says physical exercise has some value but spiritual exercise it's much more important for a promise as a reward in this life in the next having said that you can go too far in the other direction right you can say well I don't care about my appearance and I'm just gonna read my Bible and dress in sackcloth never shower never wear makeup and then wonder why guys never look at me I know why listen just be the best you that you can be there is a place for your outward appearance there's a place for stayin fit and exercise there's a place for clothes you wear etc but don't neglect the spiritual part of your life okay now what about that guy or that girl you would be looking for what qualities should you look for and let's broaden this a bit and say can we sort of consider all options in other words not just people at church but everywhere in other words non-believers so if then unbelieving guy asked you out on a date or whatever is that okay to go out with Tama is it okay to enter into a kind of a dating relationship and potentially a romantic one with a non-believer let me give you a really long answer you're ready no it isn't I'll tell you straight up second Corinthians six says don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers what fellowship does righteousness help lawlessness what communion does light have with darkness what Accord has Christ with the devil and what part has a believer with an unbeliever you know this seems to happen to girls more but it happens it guys too you enter into this relationship and you say I'm going to reach him for the Lord I'm gonna win him to Christ you know famous last words because what happens more often is you don't win them to Christ they pull you back in the wrong direction it's like I could illustrate this very easily but I could put someone up in a chair who's bigger and stronger than I am that would be hard to find someone like that but um and then I could say you know try to pull me up in that chair and though that person maybe is really muscular and huge arms I could pull them off the chair way easier then they could pull me up on the chair even though they can benchpress you know a lot more weight than I ever could because I've got gravity on my side I just give them a good yank they're coming down see so when you enter into a union with the non-believer they've got gravity on their side see they don't have a new nature so they're not drawn in your direction but you do have an old nature and you're easily drawn back in their direction okay and far too many of these so-called romantic relationships in fact turn into sexual relationships and then you're in a relationship you don't want to be in so here's what you need to think about is you enter into a relationship with the guy first of all are they a Christian don't I didn't do they believe in God okay everybody believes in God you know I believe in God you know no are they a Christian are they a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ you will know if they are and having asked that even that is not enough because there are compromising Christians out there all they talk the talk but they don't walk the walk they say Jesus this and God that and all the Bible but then they're out there compromising left and right so you want to find a godly Christian that almost sounds redundant but there are people that maybe they're technically saved I don't know if they would be a good person for you to spend a lot of time with here's what you ought to ask yourself this person I'm hanging around after I've spent some time with them do they build me up or do they tear me down right after I've been with them for the evening how do I feel afterwards I feel like that's great they built me up in my faith and I'm encouraging my walk with the Lord plus he had a lot of fun and they are great to be with her was a common I was already a drag I felt like they were almost like making it hard for me to live as a Christian and and they were actually getting me to compromise and do some things I was really uncomfortable with so you want to find a godly person you might say the Greg this girl I met she's totally hot oh I'm sure by that you mean she's on fire for the Lord right find a hot godly girl okay I did you can too but most importantly find a girl find the guy that loves the Lord second Timothy 2:22 run from anything that stimulates youthful lust follow anything that makes you do what is right pursue faith and love and peace and enjoy the companionship of those that call on the Lord out of a pure heart here's a simple way to sum it up find someone more godly than you and I hope your godly but find something that's actually stronger than you that you can look up to that you can admire ok now having established that let's just say you've met a potential mate of someone that I think this could lead to something else you don't rush it don't rush it if your love is genuine it will stand the test of time let's look at our first text now first Corinthians 13 here's a definition of love so only you say you're in love with someone here's something to keep in mind first Corinthians 13 starting in verse 4 Paul writes love is patient and kind love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude love does not demand its own way love is not irritable it keeps no record of when it has been wronged it's never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out love never sup love never loses faith it's always hopeful and it endures through every circumstance number one love is patient by the way this could be translated it's long tempered and this word is common in the New Testament and is used almost exclusively of being patient with people rather than circumstances or events here is just a thought if you meet someone that you're attractive to and you think there's potential don't make them your project saying I'm going to change them because you're probably not going to change it guess what they might get worse so if you can't love them as they are that then just stop right there oh I'm going to change it you know it that doesn't always work out so well love is patient you have to be patient with people and if your love is real it will stand the test of time the Song of Solomon chapter eight verse seven says many waters cannot quench love neither can floods drown it better to sort this out now than to rush in the marriage and find out the hard way even if you break up it's better than a divorce even if you break the engagement I mean even if you walk out of your wedding though I don't recommend that you know don't be like that runaway bride remember her story was in the news and there's like a manhunt and she just got cold feet and didn't want to marry the guy and took off and so I mean that's definitely not a good thing to do but actually I think that's a better thing to do than to get married and get divorced so be patient good example of this and the Bible is the story of Jacob and Rachel it was love at first sight when Jacob laid his eyes on the beautiful Rachel so much so that he walked right up and kissed her talk about being forward then he wept loudly she probably thought who is this psycho Jacob went straightaway to Rachel's father Laban and said I want to marry your daughter so Laban was a bit of a conniver sod saw a good business opportunity here and he said well tell you what Jacob if you work for me for seven years she's yours God Jacob goodness I forget that there's other fish in the sea I'm out of here but the Bible says in Genesis 29 2010 spent the 7 years the next 7 years working to pay for Rachel because his love for her was so strong it seemed as but a few days and great that's patient love oh we can't wait maybe it's not love maybe it's lust if it's really love it will stand the test of time love is patient love is kind you know just as patience we'll take anything from others kindness we'll give anything to others it's funny because when you're first going out with a girl or guy you want to make the best impression right so you know you're taking that girl out and you drive her to the restaurant you get out and you open the car door for her and any walk up and you open the door of the restaurant for her and you gonna pull the chair out at the table for her and and you complement her and tell her how beautiful she looks and you have a little gift for her I got this for you you think what a wonderful guy then you get married now you still pull the car door open for her you just close it before she's all the way out you still pull the chart and the restaurant you just don't put it back in and when she falls on the ground you pointed her and laugh just to bring your little gifts like your dirty Loni dear I need this wash now yeah well things have changed haven't they but love is kind now here's a problem with the word love we have one word in the English language for love and it's love and we use it from everything - I love my job - I love my house - I love my car - I love my dog - I love tacos - I love my girlfriend or my boyfriend now I hope you don't love your girlfriend like you love your dog guys a quick dating tip girls don't like it when you pat them on the head and throw their person tell him to fetch it just delightful so in the Greek language they had multiple words for love it wasn't just one word they had eros which mainly was physical attraction they had phileo that spoke a brother love the love between friends family they had a Goff a which is the word that is most commonly translated as love and then you Tesla in fact everything we just read there first Corinthians 13 was a definition of agape John 3:16 for God so loved the world that's agape when the Bible says God is love again it's the word agape greater love has no man than this and he lay down his life for his friends again it's the word agape now every one of these loves has its place in a relationship eros it's not always bad I think we think eros is evil erotic you know well wait a second eros is a Greek word that speaks of physical and sexual attraction eros is just fine in the right place if eros is in marriage where it can be righteously fulfilled it's a good thing to be sexually attracted to your wife etc but outside of marriage it becomes problematic and even sinful but actually it's really eros that attracts you to a person where you notice that you know oh wow look at that guy look at that girl so it's not an evil thing in and of itself phileo is more the friendship now let me sort of contrast them eros want something from someone phileo will give you something but expect something in return agape will give you something wanting nothing back if we compared it to gift-giving eros means I just want the gift from you now Pelayo which I'll give you a gift but what are you giving me in return but agape would say here's a gift you could never pay for ever but I'm giving it to you because I love you tragically many relationships are built on eros today and when she is no longer hot you dump her and when he no longer has disposable cash you dump him right and so you go from relationship to relationship saying that you're falling in and out of love when you in fact have never really experienced genuine lasting love that will last a lifetime you want to build a marriage on this agape love though there's a place for the fillet of friendship love in a place for the eros love so let's talk a little bit about sex and the single person it can be summed up in one word no is that clear no Greg are you saying that a single person can have sense exactly more importantly that's what God is saying sex is not bad sex is good we wouldn't be here without sex but it's been created by God there's a proper place for it and that place is not outside of the marriage relationship don't tell me as a single person that God spoke to your heart and said my child I'm okay if you guys express your love one to another it's never the will of God you say well Greg that's your interpretation and I think your interpretation is very narrow because my God is loving and my God wants me to express myself and my God says it's okay for me to have sex with my boyfriend actually don't dispute that I would just say your God is not the same God as the Bible you have another God and I guarantee that God won't save you but the God of the Bible says this about it very clearly 1st Thessalonians 4 3 and it's God's will that you should be sanctified or set apart and you should avoid sexual immorality Hebrews 13:4 says remain faithful to one another in marriage God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery then proverbs 515 says drink water from your own well share love only with your wife outside of its proper contact sex can be extremely destructive spiritually and even physically that's why there is no such thing so-called one-night fling you might say oh it didn't mean anything I'm sorry means a lot and the reason it means a lot is because when you enter into a sexual union with someone you effectively become one flesh with them by the way that even applies to a guy that hires a prostitute for the night or a girl who does the same in fact the Apostle Paul said over in first Corinthians 6:15 don't you realize your bodies are parts of Christ should a man take his body which belongs to Christ and join it to a prostitute never don't you know if a man joins himself to a prostitute he becomes one body with her because the scripture says the two are united into one so run away from sexual sin no other sin clearly affects the body as this one does for sexual immorality writes Paul is a sin against your own body the scripture says you've been bought with a price therefore glorify God with your body say well Greg it's okay we're practicing safe sex no you need to save sex for marriage you need to make this decision to remain pure and the front seat of the church not the backseat of your car decide now don't decide later when the lights are down and the temptation is high and the music is playing the saxophone you know you ever noticed that in a movie when something really weird is going to happen that saxophone starts playing so you're out there you know under the streetlight that is out because you shot it out earlier with your BB gun and you're there with your guy your girl and some guy standing on the corner playing the saxophone troubles coming you decide now if you're going to be pure because if you decide now you're not going to be in that place to start with see because you know better you're not an idiot but if you're in that place it shows that obviously you've lowered your guard so you say it doesn't hurt anyone you ever heard of aids aids as a leading killer of Americans between the ages of 25 and 44 according to the Center for Disease Control at least one in four American teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease 25% of all teenage girls according to this survey have a sexually transmitted disease and 20% of the people who have HIV in America today aren't even aware of it so that means that there are basically two hundred and thirty six thousand people in America today who have hiv/aids and have no idea and they're spreading it by having unsafe sex so the answer same-sex no the answer is abstinence it hurts people doesn't hurt anyone what about an unplanned pregnancy well we'll just you know just sort of deal with that well abort the fetus oh is that what you call it I call it murdering an unborn child that's what the Bible says and you know the full ramifications of that may not hit you until much later in life an innocent child killed because people don't want to deal with the inconvenience of raising I'm think God my mom didn't abort me I was conceived out of wedlock I wasn't planned but God has a plan for every child there are no illegitimate children only illegitimate parents every child deserves to live so any guy or girl that would tell you to prove your love to them by having sex is a loser I put the brakes on it right there the Bible tells the story of Samson whose entire life was devastated by sexual sin because he thought he could handle it and the reason he thought he could handle it is because he was so powerful and could destroy his enemies on one occasion he destroyed a thousand of his enemies the Philistines with a Boni picked up off the ground a jawbone of a donkey he'd pick up city gates and carry him on his back you know engine you know me like this workout you know now we always think of Samson is really cut muscular and buff and so forth the Bible never says he was we read that the Spirit of God would come upon him which makes me wonder what if he was something like some scrawny little dude which makes it even funny to think that he could do these things but the main deal is he had made a commitment to God that was symbolized by growing his hair out long because he took the bow of a Nazarite and God empowered him but because he was so able on the battlefield he thought he could handle anything so the devil's clever you see the devil will size you up everybody has their vulnerabilities everybody has their Achilles heel what does one person's weakness is not necessarily another's so the devil will look at Ginga oh I see you're not so weak in that area and you're not the weak there but oh you're very weak over here that's where I'm gonna hit you so Sampson was a he-man with ashy weakness so the devil didn't take him down in the battlefield he took him down in the bedroom he didn't take him down with an army he took him down with one girl with the name Delilah which ironically means delicate she came to him and said Oh Sam see puh you're so wonderful you're so strong tell me the secret of your strength so I might torment you would that be the first indication this is not a healthy relationship that you might want again de lino score Manchu ha you little Delilah and so every time they got together they would have sex and then she would start asking them tell me the secret of your strength and he got closer and closer to the truth and then one day he finally just broke down and said ok secret of my strength it symbolized by my long hair I've never had my hair cut you give me her cut I'll be weak like any other man guess what she did that he took a one-way trip to the Lila's barber shop he got a buzz cut and you know what else he got he got his eyes gouged out when the Philistines pounced on him he didn't have that supernatural strength and he ends up grinding at a mill as a sort of form of entertainment for the Philistines but listen having said all that God had Grace on him and we read that in that place God gave him a second chance and judges 16 says howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again by the way I've cited that verse many times Lord you've said in your word the hair of his head began to grow Lord hasn't worked so far and his hair did grow back and of course we all know the story of hell Samson slew all those Philistines and so forth in the end but don't forget that when he pushed those foundational pillars apart and the walls and the ceiling King crashing down and destroyed his enemies he was destroyed with them that's what sexual sin did for him but now let me contrast him in closing with a guy who did it right Samson messed up this guy did it right his name was Joseph he's in Genesis 39 Bible tells us he was really good-looking really handsome and he had a god-given sexual drive he was working for a guy named Potiphar who is very wealthy and powerful he had a wife named well we don't know her name actually she's his Papa for his wife she was a cougar for sure she was probably very attractive as well I'm sure otherwise why would it be tempting and she was far from subtle she just come up to Joseph and say yeah you know why don't we have sex together no way no no come on yeah let's do that no no he says I I can't do this wicked thing and sin against God yeah interesting let's go ahead and have sex together and he resisted her day after day never even for a moment considered it and so now she just turns into full predator Genesis 39 verse 10 she kept putting pressure on him day after day he refused to sleep with her he kept out of her way as much as possible one day when no one was around he was doing his work inside the house she came and grabbed him by his shirt too many sleep with me Joseph tore himself away and as he did his shirt came off and she was left holding it as he ran from the house how do you deal when you're really getting tempted do what Joseph did run sometimes it's literally as simple as that you know maybe let's go back to that scenario okay you know remember you're in the car and the lights out the guy's playing saxophone on the street corner and and temptation is coming on strong and you're like oh I'm getting weak I'm getting weak oh no lord help me pull lord help me Lord help me yeah you don't need to pray anymore no good we pray no no don't pray open the door of the car and run better yet kick them out and drive get out of there there's always a way out how many of you have ever given in to temptation raise your hand I hope don't not read you're not not me that makes me think you're more guilty now go back to the last temptation you gave into now let's not make it even evil let's just say you know you ate that piece of chocolate cake or something was there a way to not do that of course it's like I I you know I'm trying not to eat late at night but I found myself at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts how did you find yourself there well I was near there do you live there in it no I don't live near there but it's kind of cruising by and yeah well you know you put yourself in the way of temptation so here's what the Bible says 1st Corinthians 10:13 says no temptation is taking you but such as is common to man but God who is faithful will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able but was the temptation make a way of escape that you may be able to bear it loose paraphrase God will never give you more than you can handle and there's always a way out and sometimes the way out is as simple as the door which Joseph used flee temptation and don't leave a forwarding address so Samson he played with it in sin played with him and effectively ruined him Joseph resisted it and ran out you might say well you know Greg that's all nice what you're saying but I've already fallen in fact I'm living with my boyfriend or girlfriend or I've been having sex outside of marriage or I've actually had an abortion and I'm feeling pretty guilty right now and and I don't know what to do well here's what you need to do you need to say to God you're sorry it's a sin call it what it is and ask for his forgiveness and guess what he'll forgive you remember that woman who was caught on the very act of adultery so how did Jesus deal with her remember she was surrounded by her accusers Jesus got rid of them and then he turned to her and said where are your accusers didn't even one of them condemn you she said no Lord he said neither do i condemn you go and sin no more see that girl she realized that Jesus was forgiving her and if you will tell god you're sorry for your sin and repent of it he'll forgive you that doesn't mean you say you're sorry and go and do it again that's not repentance so that means ok we'll break this down for me Calum make a real simple you're living with someone you don't live with them anymore you're having sex with someone you stop having sex with them you're looking at pornography you stop looking at pornography well it's hard Bennett well then get a internet filter or get rid of your computer if you need to do whatever you need to do take whatever measures you need to take to put the proper barriers in your life you're in a relationship we are feeling weak and compromised you probably need a new relationship make the appropriate changes and you'll see things improve quickly and if you've done something that can't be fixed well then you just ask God to forgive you you've conceived a child out of wedlock you carry that child to term and if you don't feel you can raise that child you put it up for adoption there's wonderful Christian homes out there that will adopt that child out to a loving family who love Christ who want to raise it in the way of the Lord so give that child a chance or maybe you'll change your mind after the child is born but the point is don't make a bad thing even worse ok so just deal with it take the appropriate measures and like Jesus said to this woman go and sin no more look part of mine every one of us have sinned okay now I'm not talking to singles or married people in particular I'm just talking to everybody we've all sinned and we've all sinned sexually if either being in an act or in a thought because jesus said if you even look at a woman with lust in your heart it's like you've committed adultery we've all sinned in this area we've all lied we've all stolen we've all taken the Lord's name in vain we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory that's clear but God loved us so much he sent Jesus Christ his own son to die on the cross in our place and then he rose again from the dead and now he stands at the door of our life and knocks and says if we'll hear his voice and open the door he'll come in and he'll forgive us of our sin or if I've gone astray he'll forgive me and welcome me home again you

Channel: golfgirl90

Views: 27,301

Rating: 4.8400002 out of 5

Keywords: Greg, Laurie, Harvest, Christian, Hope, for, Lonely, Hearts, Riverside

Id: 0jXyq__-XOo

Length: 53min 1sec (3181 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 16 2013