High Status Communication Manifesto: Stop Hiding Like A Coward And Own Your Authentic Self

I can see in all your pupils to what extent your expanded I already know what your answer to certain questions are gonna be what kind of struggles you're gonna have we're gonna tend to focus on I'll probably have about 90 percent success rate on it about 90 percent I can't guarantee you there's gonna be some I just totally miss it but I can genuinely see it now that surprises you you're like I can see the looks in a lot of your face you're like really I never knew someone could read in my soul like that guys you can learn how to read people like that you can read people like that very I mean you said you're someone who's aware that's like put you on the spot who's aware of energy could you maybe stand up and just suggest what you look for like what you can feel and how you can see it and how it's completely obvious maybe one or two yeah could you stand up just one sec just a to the group like what can you read when you see somebody tell them what you can read about someone just from looking at them for a second and the obvious things that it surprises you that other people can't read or just anything you want to add what do you edit so let's say postures example or the head what might indicate about what's going on inside the person emotionally based on those things what things might you see mmm okay so that's good now want me to take you a level deeper okay so keep standing let's say that I go up to you and I was slouched okay or let's say I was doing this okay I don't walk up I say how are you doing now because now with my shoulders up now but let me ask so let me ask you a question let's go a bit deeper okay so in most cases people if they're tense will do that in most cases now if I'm speaking to you like this right now that I'm speaking to you like this right now and I'm speaking to you like this right now and I'm speaking to you like this she doesn't need that we're good just leave it alone if I'm speaking to you like this right now and I'm speaking you like this right now I'm speaking like this right now I'm speaking like this right now does it feel different to you or no okay so in most cases let me ask you guys a question do you guys feel that different when I do it like this do you guys feel that different when I do like this okay so I'm throwing I'm throwing you for a loop okay I'm messing with you a bit so what you'll generally if we want to go a level deeper we have physical manifestations of insecurities but then even deeper is like let me show you okay who here's somebody who generally feels like they don't okay you you come over here come over here no you come over here okay pop over okay so he's looking at the ground already he's tenth can you see how tense he looks right now okay so okay say hello to the audience hello okay so his voice cam projects and by the way I hate to say it you guys to it you guys just insulting him by the way you wonder why you literally do you wanna know my greatest fear of being in a wheelchair not the wheelchair I'm not afraid of a wheelchair you know what scares me everybody's gonna be too nice that's what scares me they're gonna be too nice that honestly terrifies me everyone like hi that I'm like come on man and salt me treat me like normal right remember I said earlier people don't treat like they'll say don't treat women like normal so when you guys get clap what was the reason you guys clap for him to make him feel better because he looks nervous right but it was very nice of you to do it so if you take him okay so we can change this and it will help because he's already couldn't change just from just from this now he's like freaking out a bit but like he's already gonna change this from this by the way part of why he doesn't want to look like this is because as you raising status you open yourself up to threats okay - haters basically so he's actually trying to be in safety not a hater now if you look like what would you change about him to make him more relaxed physically right now can you let them down a bit or is that all you got oh my god pull them up go down all the way up down all the way okay what else would you change okay thumbs out okay like that okay like this okay so okay all right now say hello hello okay now what I'm gonna do tell me the worst way to do it what would be some bad examples no I with my body show me some bad stuff okay so now now what we're gonna do okay so he's perfect now say say hello hello say hello audience hello audience now if I say hello audience and you say hello audience okay he's trying as best I love it but notice that even with the bad manifestations you can actually go even a level deeper and this is why body language as she said is very important to study very important but then it's equally important to go even deeper than body language and ask yourself what does that body language represent what does it even represent because if you're insecure inside yourself even with really good body language if I'm like right because that's what you've been doing do you want to know how I would work on him by the way do you wonder what I'd really do I'd make him so uncomfortable that he'd move into a higher status behavior because he goes for safety he's trying to hide at the center of the tribe so if I make your life completely miserable and then I react her that to when you actually are better because this little low status thing is hiding you're hiding what are you hiding from I should paste my voice lyrics I'm doing a five or more to see okay you talk like that for four days Bobby and you're like okay so what are you hiding from right what are you hiding from tell her what you're hiding from piñon from pain John are you afraid that someone like her wouldn't talk to you does that scare you say I'm afraid you wouldn't talk to me said I'm afraid you wouldn't talk to me I'm afraid you'd make me feel unattractive I'm afraid you'd make me feel unattractive I'm afraid that my friends would laugh at me for you not talking to me I'm afraid that my friends would laugh at me were you not talking to me I think I couldn't meet someone like you I think I couldn't meet someone like you okay now listen use vocal tonality their discount honest that's a problem now okay now say I completely know that I could meet someone like you I completely know that I can meet someone like you did sound artists he's on the fence right you see that okay watch this okay face this way okay out of ten I rate myself a ten say that out of ten I rate myself for ten I rate myself at nine I rate myself for not I rate myself in eight I rate myself and I rate myself a seven I rate myself for service I rate myself at six I rate myself for six I rate myself a five oh my soul for five I rate myself before I'll rate myself before I rate myself at three I rate myself at three I write myself a - I'll rate my sofa - I rate myself at ten I'll write myself at ten I read myself a - I'll write myself a - alright myself at three I'll write myself at three do you see now why couldn't Gruen sis so important even if you get the body language down they're still gonna sense the congruence now when she said she can detect energy can you easily see in congruent statements versus congruent so that's why the body language is the first layer and you want to study that you want to be very clear on what great body language is because otherwise it's exactly like she was saying and then after you've done that the body is like here's the pot of gold what are the first things to look for is things that you're saying like self qualifying stuff weird creepy stuff then going deeper it's like body language and fixing that then going deeper it's fixing the inner game but by the way when you fix the inner game what happens to the body language and what's gonna happen to the creepy stuff you see that look at the pain and the torture and the agony and you want to know what the mainstream would tell me to do to him they'd say just be a nice guy don't be a creep okay now you'll meet somebody who's he gonna meet if I just say don't work on your body language don't work on your beliefs don't work on your congruence don't get better at meeting people don't build up the ability to read social cues don't learn how to meet a bunch of people that's a naughty thing to do stay like this now he looks cute if this stays like this for another 10 years how what do you know 20 what does this look like at 30 what does this look like at 40 doesn't even make it to 40 what does this look like at 50 he can't even take this as a joke if I'm a positive Anthony Robbins 7 art he's like what's this Scott couldn't look like in 10 years I'd be laughing my ass off coz that's kind of funny but he can't even laugh he can barely laugh right now he's contracted you guys see it do you see the contraction he's in competition you're being judged people are judging you look the type never meets never meets ever because you're just a little three a little three and not only three but you're here to get help and instead of getting help you got laughed at by a woman and laughed out by the entire crowd then when you guys are seen him up here are you judging him are you like whoa that's super cool that he's up here give me a hand for that get out of feeding you want to I don't make you spit on thank you for coming appreciate it so okay you see that even as I'm sitting here cracking jokes he doesn't laugh do you guys ever remember what I've made videos where I say that I didn't laugh for my first 20 years and that I was in a and I'll be like I'll get Rebecca back I was in a living hell do you remember me saying that my newest video I said that I was worse than this two decades to decades trapped in that but what's funny is you're not trapped it's all in here it's all in here it's just a contraction that's all this is here sit here with me so what's his problem right now why can't he laugh he's in massive contraction right now there's things I'm saying that are literally going over his head he's not able to take the wisdom but what does he have going for him he's here he's sitting in this room he's getting feedback right now why am I so motivated inspired teachers kind of content simple I've met guys like yourself that literally a decade later look completely different so I'm looking at you now and I know what you can be we're gonna say something of course not so what you have in situation I'm gonna keep teasing well you want to make the old identity painful see he hides righty it's like he hides at the center we have to make the center more scary then the edge so what we have here right cause it's fear-based right I'll tell you a couple things that you probably don't know that much and then it will go meta will go direct first of all you're gonna die it's okay News four you're gonna die you ever know anyone who died yeah who died okay um you ever have a friend your age die No soon you will if you're lucky because if you're unlucky you'll be the one who died now from there like I'm very lucky because I've had friends die I'm 40 I could have been the one that did die like my friend John died this year I'm the lucky one so okay crazy right now that's happens you get older if you get lost that's why you got by the way that's why as you get older you do have to let go more cuz you will have lost you can lose your kids crazy stuff as you get older so you better let go you talked to a lot of older people that have really let go they look super happy but they've been through horrible loss but they have to be happier so you're still in contraction you still believe you believe in my view that the world is separate from you I'm separate from you you don't even know that we're related right yeah are we related yeah how well but look we're different color oh how could we be related how are we related human we're both human at one point we were the exact same genetics at one point do you know that as a woman do you realize I mean I pretty much have boobs but I'm quite above average but likewise if if like I'm basically half woman I mean how many my ancestors like you think I'm a woman really I mean you are a woman I would guess eight you got to be careful you do me not I'm not gonna I don't want to say the wrong thing I got to ask but the point is see that's funny because ten years ago it'd be offensive to ask are you a woman and today would be offensive not to ask I'm gonna have to think on that now bait so so what you have is your your like when you think of your ancestors do you think of all the previous strong women who came before you when you think of your ancestry or now for you guys who are men in the room do any that's very open-minded for you guys that are met in the room when you think of your ancestors do you think of other men that were hunting or do you think your ancestors like some women staying back to take care of the kids what do you think I just add a first snap of the finger what do you think of right but that's not true that's not true it's completely an illusion it was half women if you're somebody who didn't like women you literally hate half your ancestors if you're a woman that doesn't like men you hate half your ancestors if you're somebody that didn't like another race you hate yourself so we're actually related okay at one point now let's go weirder you're also related to the other animals too you know that you're also made part of the same Stardust as this thing now what's happening as soon as I begin to show non-separation to his demeanor right now even if I just suggest it what's happening to his energy he was smart now he's now he's gonna contract back but he was smiling for a second letting go for a second you gotta go back in no it was a trick trick he's half right so the world is 50% the physical world or we are different but 50% the energetic world okay so what you have here is that he's very in the physical world he doesn't realize it but he's actually the physical world so he's contracted because from the physical world standpoint you are always under threat of annihilation and death and losing in competition but an energetic world we're all one in the same this is kind of like Eastern philosophy ideas in general so right now he needs a little bit of Eckhart Tolle in his life really you know he needs Eckhart to come and soothe him okay and he needs to get in the present moment his thinking is very dense now we always think should think more we can think our way into problems can he think is in the mode he's in now from this mode can he think his way out of this there's no thinking out of this in my opinion I could maybe there is right maybe he'll be like e equals mc-squared and he's like right that could happen so so again remember like I said in my first 20 years fiery Howell couldn't laugh couldn't read so screws of course he's not gonna be able to read social cues well he's trapped in here right he there's too much bandwidth being monopolized up in here right now Justin does not really a lot that he can do now this is why I've recommended the guys to go work on social skills now if he actually goes out and works on social skills here's what would happen he'd go do approaches 95 percent of people be very rude to him but about 5% either do to party mode or do to just being very friendly it would actually be nice right and what would happen is a couple times they'd be nice and when an external source would give him validation because he cares too much will people think that's why he's contracted he doesn't get the feedback you want so he's in a in a defense mode because he cares too much he'd get a rush now what would happen is when people when people like him he would switch on suddenly he'd start laughing I mean you have laughed before right yeah okay so suddenly he'd start laughing then he started having fun and then what would happen is his mind would start working at a higher level now as his mind starts working at a higher level then what would proceeded to happen is his genius would begin to switch on he might have a business idea a professional idea a cool idea of somewhere to go maybe how to structure his social life better maybe some other higher thinking ideas so and also the cortisol would lowered his body so that he wouldn't get sick as much and he'd be more vibrant things would go better for him but then what would happened is that would be stripped away very quickly I need to sink back down now from that sink back down it's a little bit how some people will reference psychedelics where they'll say they do a psychedelic they get a momentary experience of a higher reality then they go back down but they can at least say I have a frame of reference for what that's like and so they can sort of vaguely remember it well for me that wasn't my path but my path was the kind of psychedelic I mean it sounds weird but of getting social validation in little doses and I'd feel my brain switch on and then what would happen after months of going out when I was in my first year of it was a couple times I had a couple good reactions in a row which shut up which jacked up my winner if that jacked up my serotonin my dopamine acetylcholine GABA like it went boom in a winter mode my brain started working and then what happened was several in a row started to go well because it became a loop it's a self feeling prophecy so I had these amazing eyes that's what I got addicted onto okay so I get addicted on that and then what proceeded to happen was I started I started to get a frame of reference for that and I'd go out every day just trying to get that back Careers had that experience where you had such a rush from going out it's crazy right you get addicted on that a lot of people think guys get addicted to going out to improve their dating life a lot of it is just that rush that you get and then the day the the success in dating is the icing on the cake which is awesome too but that's sort of like a temporary sensation whereas this is really changed your entire life changing everything so then what'll happen is you'll have those experiences and then this brings so the first set of questions is wait a minute I don't have to be in contraction all the time the next set of questions is wait a minute I can actually be out of contraction for maybe an hour then the next set of questions is how can I get out of contraction not relying on other people say they were not relying on other people so for me the blueprint that program that I made that was me realizing that I could make it inside myself what I basically said there was you can get validation from either looking really good having the right clothes having the right haircut you know that feeling of a nice Chris new haircut nice new shirt maybe that feeling would you're the one writing the party maybe that feeling that when you're having a great night out and everybody loves you you ever had it where you got a new piece of clothing and everybody compliments you on that new shirt even though they don't know you and they don't know it's new you ever have that where they don't even know it's new later when this shirt was even freshly ironed and looks about the same as when it was new you don't get the compliment nearly as much you ever notice that weird phenomenon very weird right these little weird like almost psychic ish little micro signals were somehow sending out it's like weird weird and trippy like I don't know how to explain it actually but there's something about it right so in the blueprint I said how can I make it where my sense of value comes from inside how can I make it what I called core value how can I get it out of where I'm meeting something from you know I'm meeting good social feedback I'm meeting out new clothes I mean to have money see because what happens is this in consumer culture they flash images of a certain body type right like right now for women a lot of the time it's a skinny model like a Victoria's Secret what did skinny mean Oh skinny in a tan these days right but what did skinny and a tan mean 300 years ago it meant that you were starving and out farming you wanted to be pale and plump it means that you're inside well everybody's getting you the food and you're well-fed there's all these like erotic images and these like big pale women like it you know and that's what would arouse somebody it is a lot of social conditioning so we get socially conditioned on a certain look maybe it's an Eastern European look and that social conditioning kicks in right that's what it was for years now we're actually getting more diversity in models which is amazing it's important so what happens is there's a certain look and we think that we need that to get access to our dopamine to get access to our winter effects and until we can live up to an image that we saw in a magazine we don't feel right we don't feel good but here's what happens you work and work and work to live up to that image in the magazine you get it I've been in situations where I've had it and what will happen is you'll get a rush for a hot minute but what have you done to your mental synapse your mind synapses because synaptic pathways you know they get wired up the same thought you're having over and over it becomes a synaptic pathway if you're thinking all be happy when all be happy when all be happy when all be happy when I'll be happy when I'll be happy when what happens when when happens you think you're like no of course you are for a minute most of your life looks like this you go along at your typical emotional addiction baseline when something bad happens you feel super terrible go along your emotional baseline you know you forget your keys you're late super cortisol anger terrible something good happens is it proportional to how bad you feel in something bad happens no something good happens it's like that I can tell you I remember when I wanted to get a hundred subscribers on YouTube and I kept building my channel building my channel building my channel building my channel and thinking what I have a hundred thousand subscribers that's like gonna be perfect then I got a hundred thousand subscribers do you think that I was like doing cartwheels and jumping around like confetti what do you think I look like when I got 200k subscribers what do you think it looks like visually I went hey guys under K City it's awesome dude six figures yeah definitely be easier to get collabs now if you say you know I got hundred KS it's better than 99 k you know hundred K who should we collab with I know Brandon Carter cool what else we're gonna man we gotta get these videos done we could have lost the shot oh this guy lost the shot you know right we work so hard on that shot oh no some shots went good you got to endure getting sweet see that right that's what happens by the time that you get to the lifestyle in the magazine you probably can't even enjoy it anymore you've been trained on all be happy when it's a horrible mental habit the problem is on the other side if you're always happy for no reason what's the downside of that you might not do anything so you know you got to find the happy medium so if right now if he was surrounded by attractive people that were crawling all over him wanting him to have his way with them begging for it if he had money piles of money this is what he looked like I bet he'd be freaked out he would be freaked out there's a video made back in the day by this old YouTube group called simple pickup and they had this very attractive asian girl what's her name I can't remember walk up to men and and offer to hook up with them do you know what most of the guys did they ran away it was not even in their arias or their reality that that could happen then there's a couple guys like hell yeah you know right there like over it she's like but um yeah they do that they literally you just see the guys like running off there's actually a fear that some other alpha person from the tribe will come kill them if they take the mate of the high status person that's why they're nervous actually right so to unwire this it's a process it's like a journey right and for you to say improve your dating life that's really just one small part of the puzzle you understand that right like that's one area to work on it's a great area to work on it's very motivating taps into the natural human Drive so it's awesome but it like have you guys ever heard me say that when I worked on my dating life that was the least of what I was working on like and some people like what could be more important than that that one thing right now if he stays like this in this contraction but maybe just you know improves his dating life to a really wild level say had a wild dating life what was at this level would that be fixing the issue I mean it certainly wouldn't hurt right but is that really the most important thing here what do you think who here thinks dating is the most important all that it would really do it was it would make it where he'd rely on getting attention from the opposite sex in order to in order to be okay with himself what's amazing what you don't realize the single person in this room with the most potential for advancement is him and that's nothing yeah give him a nice one to be no no like you look like a very happy person this guy is way more likely to go to an elite level than you of course he is because he if he actually takes this as like I need to get out I will do whatever it takes he's gonna establish impeccable habits to work his way out of this and then those habits are gonna have momentum if you're generally a happy person it's hard to get that kind of momentum it's like if you take a ball and you just kind of drop it lightly on the ground and bounce a bit if you take it BAM it shoots up it's got its what is that like a kinetic potential is that the word I don't know I'll pretend I know that's the kinetic potential so so okay so there's hot so you actually believe it or not that contraction like some people would look at you the mainstream actually would look at you and say he's some shy guy just tell him to leave people alone play his video games and rot but I don't I'd like to defend the weak so I look at you and I think back to my case like that and I think I don't think I should have died I hope I don't think I should have died because you guys don't this is an emergency and you guys all don't see it he here he's supportive what happens when he goes some alone look he's barely laughed at a single joke how do you been pretty funny stuff here if I may say so myself right so at least some of it so if that's the case that we can't allow for that what's gonna happen when he goes home should just suck it up man be a man figure it out so in my view that's kind of where we're at as a society okay and I'm sorry about that I'm sorry that society thinks that you shouldn't get help sorry about that but on the positive side you can fix this do you believe you could fix it yeah okay I'm gonna ask you I I mean they asked me to say I believe that I could fix this I'm gonna get you to say I don't believe I can fix this say I believe I can fix it I believe I can fix it I actually don't believe I could fix this I actually don't believe I can fix it where's yet you think middle I'd say right well I can't prove it to you but I could tell you this honestly if you found an old video footage of me if you've seen old pictures of me I was just like you but probably worse cuz I had this but underneath a lot of anger are you angry under this or no yeah how angry try little angry okay what do you what do you feel what's your anger that's called self attack what are the great ways the low vibration energy penetrates the energy body is in self attack which then we tell ourselves will motivate ourselves to do better but in many cases actually just further loza's of low vibration energy we do nothing keep lying what else what else do you mad about what if you could have been 6 foot 2 and it looked like a male-model and it did your parents super retro no no what have you been a 6 foot 2 male model with your parents super rich why couldn't you been born like that why couldn't you have been that or maybe a beautiful woman why couldn't you've been that born big and strong why actually wood but the point is what would be a reason not to though I think it's okay to admit you'd want it but what's but what would be a good but what would be a good path or thing you could benefit from given that you didn't have it because but by the way like when people get like victimized I thought the first levels they're like I'm glad this happened because it gave me this and this and this I feel like it never levels being like oh I'm not glad it happened but it did give me this opportunity because I almost feel like having to pretend it was awesome like I don't need to pretend it's awesome to be okay with it I just say that sucked but here's the opportunities that gave me and I'm gonna work him and hey I'm alive I'm okay to just go with that um do you wish you're born a six-foot to male model with rich parents I do but I wasn't so I have angles I can take I probably won't be running the seminar if I'd done that right so I mean I might be but I probably wouldn't be do you wish you're born a six foot to male model with rich parents yeah are you just saying that cuz I told you to say it or do you believe it his brain is so shut down he can barely talk in fear say now what are some advantages that you have not being born like that we talked about the mirror you can give the ones I gave her some of your honor you learn to be resourceful okay what else you want they're not to leave out you want I'd say this a lot of kids that I see that grew up wealthy are very unhappy because they haven't had to work for it so they can't appreciate it appreciation and your actual palate to let something land is equally important to your positive experience of life as having a good external experience um you know video games right so you play a video game like say God of War horizon zero dawn right say you beat the first level you go to the second level you're like oh the second level why are you like oh the second level the third level the final boss why is it that you appreciate each level or weapon that you have some new weapon why because you had to work to get it what if what have you just started the first level at the end boss and you already had all those weapons but if you had to fight to get each weapon or each health point or each new level then the experience is like magnified and powerful but if you just take your if you work for like 20 hours to get to that last boss with all the added health powers and weapons and then you just hand that controller to your friend and you told him it's the first level like you can't wait to play that level but your friend if you told him it's the first always like oh this is okay maybe I'll just play it later lot of rich kids have that they can't even let it land they've been put to the N level they their brain can't process it it actually kind of sucks you're not gonna have that at all people say to me why do you still go out I'm like it is awesome you know right there's a lot of levels man so okay so okay so you can build off of that now again I'm gonna do a little bit of work on him here just a tad but also are you coming to four-day event or now yeah that'll be good too okay so we have four days and working together there so you're coming are you signed up already okay so think okay I actually didn't think he's coming and I was like no I wasn't gonna even push him to do it but I'm so happy he's coming Holika oh thank god okay so we'll work on you a bit here then we'll work more there so what we have is the winner effect what it's doing now here's how to think about the winner of fact so say you go out you talk to a bunch of people you're talking all these people and if you're getting good responses suddenly you become funnier you have an expectation to be heard chat with me an expectation to be heard okay you expect people to laugh say it you expect people out okay you assume familiarity okay not like you know a touchy touchy way no no but just you assume that they'll it's like you're already friends okay like you like you you think the best of people would be a better way to put it case that could be misinterpreted now that being the case what you'll notice when you go when that winner effect kicks in you stop micromanaging you stop self judging you stopped so qualifying and you just start laughing and having fun and you expect it's gonna work and you're doing it for your own enjoyment right now his contraction is so deep that if you were to try to tell a joke he'd probably terrified like just say like say like save the crowd why'd the chicken cross the road or say why'd the human cross the road say that why the human cross the ladder why the human across the road ladder why the human across the room say cos dick was caught in the chicken okay so we can watch it kay now I want you to yell that with more conviction okay I pick the most ridiculous job okay I'm making you laugh with how bad the joke it so yell that now first ask the question why did the human cross the road ladder ladder why did the human cross the road why did [Applause] human-human cross the road the road because his telexes dick was caught in the chicken okay very good so okay so when we work together we're gonna do we're just gonna do that same joke for four days okay so but we're gonna do a lot of stuff okay I'm gonna get you I'm gonna get you to push out of your comfort zone so what I'm gonna teach you in the four-day event is what we do as human beings this is a major pervasive aspect of human society is we try to get to the center look imagine that you're in a group of a hundred people and there's a group of like ten lion circling us right where do you want to go be honest you don't have to be that fast of a runner just faster than the next guy right so there's a human instinct to do that we have that as a part of our survival mechanism it's a part of our evolution so what you have is where you as a person you're a freight you you try to hide in the middle so if you look at say mainstream television they won't even tell jokes that are actually funny it's very bizarre look at mainstream news rather than telling a joke that's actually funny they're like it's a little cold out there Bob you might want to wear two pairs of mittens and they're like hahaha Chuck you're so crazy and he's like you too Bob I think both like I mean you're like this isn't funny like this is not funny what world is this funny right real artists they don't like mainstream stuff because it's at the center right artists like to push the boundary there's a fear that you have of being an edge you believe that this is safe what if I told you that if you say like this your reproductive safety is probably at great risk how many of your ancestors have reproduced all of them how many time have any people have you ever reproduced within your life do you believe that your reproductive safety is at risk yeah do you think that someone that you would like to mate with would mate with a man that walks up like this hi yeah I'm not sure above three and then everyone's laughing then you go like that what do you think the chance are you're gonna meet doing that okay he tried to make a joke okay so okay so your reproductive safety is at risk um how much money do you make right now two weeks okay I'm gonna make sure I frickin to crush this self-help seminar for you now you see why I work so hard um so that being the case are you in college no what do you do work muscles mm-hmm fixing clothes okay you like it all right okay you're what are you doing day to day week to week month to month to fix that issue because it's okay to work at Marshalls if you're if you're treading water while other things are moving the ball forward that's great uber is a great example that you can work with you want to while you're building up your career in some other way or being a waiter or whatever but what are you doing outside of Marshalls to move yourself forward I mean you're here that's good but what else watch videos okay well it is better that you watch the videos then crap so that's better what else how long have you known about me five years how much have you gone out and apply myself know much what's not much close to none okay what's close to none how many people did you talk to you when you went out on an average night out take a guess one okay so II talked to one person better than none so do you think that you're safe right now no yeah I don't think so you're not you're punching at the wall I'm breaking your hand it's actually safer to just punch through the wall you're punching at the wall the long-term effect of this is gonna be you're gonna break your hand do you understand there's a lot of people who as they get older they say isolated and working jobs they hate and they wind up miserable is that common yeah is that what's more common someone who's passionate has a great dating life and is happy or people that are miserable in mediocrity what's more common what is your current trajectory based on your day day behavior good it's unsafe it's not safe you'd be alive if your life were to stay like this would that be okay with you no okay then what how not okay cuz for me it was completely not okay I was like whatever it takes this can't be my life no way no way okay so let's get back on it how much no way is this for you I'm not happy so it cannot be like that okay I would think right now you have an underlying belief I'm safe when I stay at the center I understood that I was at risk I was it was clear to me I'm gonna happen this is gonna be a big problem this is not gonna be okay that was clear as day to me this is not gonna be okay this is gonna be this is gonna be a very problematic situation to my life I may have made my life worse about what I did in the long run we'll see it happens to me but I certainly want a good run right now so that being the case you've got to stop viewing the center as safe okay you gotta stop viewing that way so when we work together at the event I'm gonna I'm gonna hammer on you for hours okay and I'm gonna be I'm gonna get your permission and if you give it to me I'm gonna ask your permission and if you give me permission I'm gonna be rough with you not physically but just like come down you're very hard and I'm gonna be really I'm gonna reassociate you from this as being safe to make this not safe okay and I'm gonna make it where it feels more safe to be on the on the like if that's a comfort zone I want you to view your comfort zone as out here this is entrepreneurship 101 these days by the way you know why business is changing so fast right now so Seth Godin great author business author I love this guy he says you've got to get it to where you think this is the safety zone no this is the safety zone because there's so many options with the internet that if you're not trying new things to be innovative you're not gonna be successful funny enough if you see how much of my personality that I put into my work a lot of that I was influenced by Seth Godin because he said he's like just put on there baby if you just try to fit in and go vanilla not gonna work he's like you're better off to go niche and just Zone in okay like there's things that you could do even with this personality where it's like what you can't fix you feature I could like bro I could teach you how to do like a YouTube channel where you're this like shy guy but you're just crushing it everybody's like this guy is awesome like I could show you how to do that but I also want you if you want to do that that's fine but I want you to do it from a position of power like you know like Napoleon Dynamite would be an example where he's like he like plays that up it becomes a feature what you can't fix you feature I could show you that but I've also got to show you how to do that by choice not because it's like you don't have any other choice and that's all that you know how to you okay so I'm gonna okay I mean a hammer on you hard but maybe before you leave I just get like to get you yelling at the crowd a bit cuz I would feeling that you've never had that experience okay so I'm gonna show you a few things about voice try right now something uh like yelling as loud as you can show me without something so what you're seeing there I've done this in many exercises but it's always worth repeating um was that loud to you no okay then show me loud pretty good now he actually did it now you had this reaction we just did this one and then you did this human beings we all cheer when someone lets go so you're like he let go for a minute but then he saw so you're actually your clap actually reflected the natural human response to what he did you ever seen one of those breakdancing circles like the dance circles I actually do this on bootcamp so I'll make dancing circles in the club it's pretty awesome and um I do all the time and what happens is like if you're like it's always the person who goes in there it's like do I look cool I look sexy and cool everyone's like okay right why they're making it about them but it's always the person who just starts vibing out and cares the least it's not the best dance technique it's who cares the least because who cares the least you know what it means who's about the group when you care how you look who's that about it's a dense contract energy see he's fronting like he doesn't care he cares so much what he looks like that he's like well if I just don't try anything that I didn't I then like then I can't be criticized he's full in don't try anything mode if I tried nothing that I can't be criticized because that's the problem right see here's what's funny everybody in society even a mainstream outlet that likes to hammer anything with helping people they'll look at him even in his case he will look like a rough enough case even in mainstream outlet will be like somebody help him right but you know what they won't like when he actually tries to be better and is initially in congruence that's what they hate they they will sympathize with the starting point they'll glorify the end point but it's that in-between journey where he tries to like step out and they're like he's trying too hard what a creep what a creep so right now while he's staying on this island he's on this crappy island with no vegetation no food no Sun and there's this beautiful lush Island over here but he doesn't want to have to do the swim so he'll stick in the discomfort to avoid the risk of the swim okay so the so how do you get him off this island well you just got a firebomb the crappy Island right you just scorched earth the bad island and you're like this island sucks now like it was bad before but now it's just too much bad and I just got to get off this on so show me an extended yell show to me now another one keep it going not draw it out [Laughter] just dried out okay now show you something else okay everybody do it with him now okay one and you do it too one two three [Applause] okay now what's happening is for all of you it's very easy to do it you know why because you're hiding in the center so actually to not do it would be scarier because you'd be afraid someone would see you not doing it so it's very easy to do it it's hard to be the person who stands out so what I want you to do is I'm going to get familiar with how it felt when everybody else is doing it and feel in your body how easy it was because you did what's called release you have control muscles you have release muscles so you knew there was you release okay so everybody will do it which will put you in the center you'll actually be scared to not do it but I want you to remember how that feels so everybody do with this again even a bit louder your unit [Applause] Oh [Laughter] okay she's getting a feel for it so get a feel for the release okay like you you heard the group yelling was it easy even with a group yelling okay try yelling now show me so what you did there was yet what probably helped you I don't know but what I've experienced on top of these seminars is that because you got to do it in the group a minute ago you can kind of freshly remember what it was like to have the the protection of the group so one of the great things you can do is get a group to do something and then remember what it's like so show me y'all right now so see what happened we'll see it and see that so he forgot you see that right it's not a physical thing you know though tell you just teach them the technique just teach the technique Oh in Oh in why are you depriving in this this poor man of the information he needs okay here talk louder go show me loud talk hi how's it going hey now watch this I'm gonna talk quiet and he's gonna talk as loud as he can and me talking quiet we'll see who you can hear more okay talk as loud as you can like hey hey hello how's it going what's up how's your day what up just do all that and I'll do quiet hey what's up hey what up I want to know how's it go I'm talking quiet right now this is me no talk as loud as you can try to talk over me try to talk over me as hard as you can I really want to go what's up guys right now okay so even it no no okay now that's it loud as he can just as quiet as I can what's happening there I had to fix all this I remember when I was like 23 and my voice would first start to open up and I was like my voice is opening this is great like you'll have that experience if he keeps going I had that experience I was 23 I started going out working on it I remember my voice opening up I was like you know what I could tell a joke or I could dance all of a sudden I could sing all of a sudden this is really weird stuff that's why I became so passionate about it was because I came from this so basically what we have is we're gonna go to see if if you weren't coming to the event I will scream at you and run down here like a like an emergency surgery like literally for hours if I have to but you're gonna be with me for the next four days it's an intimate event so I'm gonna make sure that we just especially with your you told me you work at a job it's not paying you a ton I will make sure I'm gonna go nuts for you okay I'm gonna go crazy for you I'm just gonna be like boom boom rack into a miracle but I will like I will push this ball forward but you've got to be ready to be stretched you ever heard me say in some of the preview videos I've done for our four-day self-help where I say it's not just about 7:00 or it's about doing exercises this is what I'm talking about here in any example because no matter what level you're at you can improve so literally I'm just gonna hammer you like I can like you've watched my videos for five years and like this is what we got right so we've got to work together and we've got to get exercise I'm sure that my videos gave me great hope it gave you better understanding it was probably more healthy to watch them just like random TV but we've got to make the change together yeah you about to say something I can tell no okay of course so okay when I do that by the way what I'm doing is teaching what do you think I'm doing when I say that to him what am i slowly doing I'm torching the island you guys see that I'm beginning the process of torching the island if he was only with me for a few hours I would just be like boom boom boom until he's like oh I can't do this and then just like basically you've got to torch the old island and then it's now safer to be in your more expanded zone right for me funny enough I know that being expansive funny socially gregarious would I go to do boot camp I've got a crush it I don't have a choice and I know that if I don't use my skills my life's gonna be worse see I feel more safe here than he feels here because by the way do you want to know would you feel really safe when you get to the lush islands it's that in-between swim that's the hard part that's where it gets tricky is in between swim right I feel safer than you do you're you're in safety but you're in a place that's not really safe you see that there's no safety where you are that's the beginning the beginning is recognizing it's not safe here this isn't where I should be there's a better place to be and then once you start paddling here's the next step you've got to get past the halfway point where it would be further to swim back then it would be to keep going so at this point you can you go off the shore a little bit you come back that's like huh right getting out of that protected center uh-huh so we've got to get you to a point where it's it's safer just to keep going okay so we're gonna work through that this weekend the kind of things that will be is a lot of exercise work lot and we're just gonna keep pushing through it and pushing through it and pushing through it and it's gonna hurt and hurt and hurt but we need it to hurt to heal because it's like a broken bone we've got to snap it back like this okay you see you're about to smile there okay so we'll work on this okay could you guys give me a hand for coming up [Applause]

Channel: Owen Cook Free Tour

Views: 239,462

Rating: 4.7235627 out of 5

Keywords: self help, self development, personal development, high status communication, social skills, social intelligence, emotional intelligence, spiritual, spiritual growth, shy guy, communication skills, transformation, best self, authentic self, hiding like a coward, how to be yourself, authenticity, authentic, inspiration, personal development motivation, awakening, self love, how to be confident, how to build confidence, how to gain confidence, how to improve yourself, improve

Id: k_nJBS6M8Ig

Length: 54min 17sec (3257 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 04 2020