'Hi Ren' Premiers on youtube on the 15th December - 7pm GMT

it's been ages since I've done a Blog and I just thought I'd do one now I don't know why but things have gotten loads worse in the past three weeks I've been getting out of the house about five minutes a day uh the foods that I can eat and now just meat and a few vegetables um and if I eat anything more I just I have to just feels like my whole body shuts down and I feel like I'm dying I just can't do it for much longer I don't I don't it's like I'm just watching my life disappear I don't need help and I'm determined that there's something that I can do to get out of this but I want to make this video because I want people to know how bad it is because you don't see how bad that is because we people don't need to spend all the [ __ ] time in the house and you don't see it and you don't experience it I just want to live I want to I want to be alive so much and so I keep looking for a cure and I've done so much things I've spent thousands of pounds I spent thousands of pounds and gone to hospitals everything once in the best bachelors in the world I'm still so sick foreign I just need help oh [ __ ] there's someone putting this up because it's one of these honest as possible it's taken away my life I know my dreams I can barely make music these days and I'm watching everybody else grow up and do all the things that people do when they grow up to spend all my life and [ __ ] a house watching the world just pass it's not worse in prison because I just don't know if there's ever gonna be a way out but I just want a way out and I don't know what to do anymore because I've done so many tests and stuff and I'm like and I know I know there's there's always more tests and stuff but like let's get my hopes up every time and every treatment that I do I get my hopes but it's going to be the thing that cures me and then it doesn't come back here again I'm so afraid of being back here and if this illness does kill me [Music] but I want this video I want somebody who can take notice of this video and do something with it um somebody that could look at it and take it to people that go okay we need to research this more because people are really suffering somebody that can help find a cure for this this is such a [ __ ] mystery and then I just wait everyone when everyone gets on with the rest of their days and goes out in the house and I just wait wait hoping that there's something better around the next corner just wait hoping that there's some sort of treatment or something suddenly I'll just hit the nail on the head that everything will be okay then I'll get my hopes up so much every time I do something and how many times it's gonna do it how many times can I take it how many times can I take that process of pinning my hopes on something so much and feeling so happy when I feel a 10 Improvement thinking that it's just going to be an upward Hill and then crashing right back here and just [ __ ] ending up in bed all day watching the world of chicken bust and just can't do it man it's [ __ ] horrible I don't know what I want to gain out of this video I just I just hope that I don't know but I am still here and I haven't given up and that's because I think that there's something they're still part of me just like there'll be some way out and it'll be worth it all and I just [ __ ] help them right because I can't do it for my years like I'm just watching all my young years just [ __ ] pass by praying for remember a call I want a mirror of cool

Channel: Ren

Views: 496,038

Keywords: ren, renmakesmusic, blind eyed

Id: jaltehH_cNo

Length: 6min 3sec (363 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 09 2022