This week, on Hermitcraft: -How am ever going to be taken seriously if
I don't have my business attire on? This is better. This is- I'll be taken seriously now. Welcome to the Hermitcraft Recap! My name is Pixlriffs, our writer is ZloyXP,
and when you watch as much Hermitcraft as we do, you notice patterns emerging in the
chaos. Now, it’s not exactly subtle by now, but
the decision to not have a centralised shopping district on the server seems to have backfired
- and in the resulting explosion of commerce, the Hermits are forming several shopping districts,
some even at odds with each another. The most obvious is of course, the Boatem
Town - Mumbo, Grian, Impulse, Scar, and Pearl - who openly declared themselves a corporation. Already opposing them is the Big Eyes crew,
with Tango, BdoubleO and Keralis, who are only sometimes accompanied by GeminiTay. Because GeminiTay has now started the Swamp
Lump coalition with FalseSymmetry and Stressmonster, which we can’t tell if iJevin factors in
at all, since - remember - iJevin is under Evil Xisuma’s influence, and so are VintageBeef
and Welsknight. Amidst these monoliths we still have to remember
the absolute wildcard that is HorseHead Farms, where XBcrafted and Hypno came in possession
of IOUs from a vast range of the people on each side, ready to scatter them over the
room like confetti. And it’s a complete mystery, how Docm and
Rendog’s GOATEM and HERMATRIX stuff fits in all this, because they don’t seem as
interested in dominating the market, as they are in just dominating. But at least when the house of cards begins
to topple later in the season, the one remaining cornerstone of the market will be Joe Hills’s
flower shop. And with that out of the way, let’s take
a look at all the events and mishaps that occurred on the Hermitcraft server this week. So, if you thought that our intro today was
too much fan pandering, check out Xisumavoid’s latest, where in a cutscene EvilXisuma arrives
at the Hels Dimension where all the evil counterparts of Hermits reside, to try and convince Helsknight
to join the Derpcoin cause. Hels can’t influence Welsknight directly,
but does advise Evil to just send regular Xisuma in, which just about does the job. -You and I, we go back a pretty long way. -Mmhmm. -So I'm gonna take your word for it. Anyway, internet points for whoever can name
all the characters in the Hels bar. X has a much easier time influencing some
villagers into forever trading pumpkins for emeralds, once he wiggles the bunch to where
it’s supposed to go. -Uh-huh. Uh-huh uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh? Zoom in. Oh, that is very slow falling right there! Oh, and goodbye. A much more eloquent method comes to Cubfan,
when having to relocate his testificate operation, he just stacks them in a giant PEZ dispenser. -And since they're on a rail, I think, but,
I think that should allow us to easily move 'em out? Like, one at a time. With the civilians out of the way, Cub can
continue the spread of dripstone around the canyon, and we even get a nice progress indication
as he does the classic before and after map comparison. -Major, major progress. You know what? This almost looks like, uh, like a winged
creature? Like this is a wing over here. Any residual drip will be sold in a well camouflaged
shop called Double Drip. Just have to be very cautious navigating to
it in the labyrinth canyon. For a more scientific approach to mazes look
no further than Zedaph. We’re not talking corn here, Zed really
goes out of his way to make a one block tall labyrinth, though not for his servermates. Instead he lures in an endermite which he
figures is as close to a lab rat as it gets, size wise. The endermite runs are timed via a separate
contraption, but since the conditions of the test are never changing, and the subject seems
incapable of memorizing the path, the only result of the test seems to be an endermite
with really buff calves. -And he's fast out of the gate! Hahaha, yeah, maybe that eleven and a half
minutes- oh no, he's going. He's havin' a spin. That's how he thinks. Hypnotized has more humble aspirations: he
just wants to navigate his own storage system a little bit easier, so until Mojang comes
out with a double barrel, chests it is. He is pulled away from expanding his box pile,
when HorseHead farms gets the idea to auction the hermit’s IOUs. Which is prime opportunity for us to showcase
the first version of the auction house we made the faux pas of omitting last week. -Ooooo. I like what you've done there. -Mmmhmmm. -That's glorious. Brilliant. -I mean, I'm not saying I'm like, the best
builder ever? But... XBCrafted checks back in later to discover
the bidding war has begun, although the conversation is a little slower than your average auction
house. Luckily he has plenty of time to wait, and
his wasteland mega-base is keeping him occupied in the meantime. The dome can repel pillagers, but it might
have a harder time with giant alien worms - the carcass of one is built nearby, but
its mother turns up looking for big chompy vengeance. Although it occurs to us that if the giant
worm is too much of a threat, he just needs to put in a call to FalseSymmetry’s giant
eagle. -Is that freakin' cool, or is that freakin'
cool? The movement of giant landmasses in the marsh
continues, when GeminiTay reaches out to her co-swamp-triots hoping to form their own shopping
operation. -False! -Hi, I just saw you fly towards me. Hi! -Hi False! -Yeah, you can pay for a new door if you break
that one. Gem’s first move is to build up a mossy
rock formation - nicknamed the Swamp Lump - to serve as the cornerstone - haha - for
their future build. She then passes it to FalseSymmetry, who digs
up a moat around it. Seeing how False was already clearing out
the space under her spider spawner, it was just a matter of swinging her shovel some
more. False passes the lump duties on Stress, but
not before raising a swamp monstrosity at her doorstep. The green compels, and Stressmonster joins
the cause, though what she’ll add to the collective pet rock remains a mystery for
the time being. -How long does it take you to get out, out
of your, oh yeah I guess she's gonna keep walking, isn't she? Gonna take a while. [laughs] Unbeknownst to them, GeminiTay is already
prepping a vault for the riches. Unbeknownst to anyone, really - it wouldn’t
be a secret diamond vault otherwise. -Oh! I'm a genius. And then- yeah? Absolutely perfect, I tell you. The treasures already in there include all
the profits from selling trees and moss, all the player heads she acquired, and soon enough,
bunnies and netherite. -It turns out me and Pearl both share a very
strong passion for collecting creatures. The cats loyally, hehe, loyally following
their PearlescentMoon up the mountain! The green gains another ally in iJevin - after
all, he wears the colors. He also declared his next goal to turn the
biome around him into an enchanted swamp, and sure does so, spreading custom trees,
spore blossoms, and shaders everywhere he goes. -I am currently using Sildur's Vibrant Extreme
shaders, and... wow guys! This is incredible looking. After much consideration, he even decides
on the pattern to spread over the slime pit. Turns out, all the gradient was missing is
a noisemap, and the result looks quite satisfactory. This is, however, where the march of progress
crashes through the wall, and Jevin departs to the nether to setup a tiny, yet incredibly
efficient, gold farm. ImpulseSV adds a moss farm to his offshore
industrial area, the better to power the neighbouring kelp and nether wood farms with bonemeal. -As that was also temporary, and as soon as
Boatem Inc starts to get constructed over there, we're gonna move all this product over
there anyway. It’s an approach that’s paying off in
the form of new shop-ortunities, all of which will eventually be integrated into the Boatem
Town Shopping Experience ™ ™ ™. His other shops are also firing on all cylinders
- but alas, we cannot say the same for his dueling skills. -Ohhhhhhhh! -[Regretful laughter] Moving his starter house to make way for future
developments in Boatem, Impulse creates the entrance hall for the factory, leading through
to the room where the first experiments in re-creating iDimpy bars are conducted. Although the first one might need to go back
to formula after it turns him into a green goblin. -Oh no! Oh, what has happened... JoeHills has an easier time bartering some
dripstone from Cub, although he’s after the blocky stuff, not the one that falls on
you at terminal velocity. It’s a foundational element of the castle
walls he and Cleo are working on, and Joe terraforms a few of the local hills to provide
a better vantage point for visitors, then gives us a cool fly-by of the progress so
far. -In lieu of that midroll ad, I will now read
a poem of my own devising, that I call, "Not Music". It’s lucky he can rely on Replay Mod for
the flying, because he manages to catch his 1000th day of the No Wings Club on camera. Having put up the previous medals as decorations
in his tavern, he awaits the arrival of his prismatic medal. When it will arrive is a mystery, because
the No Wings Club is apparently run by Scooby Doo. -Although I should probably use like, a No
Wings Club voice. “Verry Imprechive!” Yeah, I think, I think that's pretty close
to how the No Wings Club building talks. TinFoilChef is back to chop trees, which he
makes easier for himself by setting up water streams for the items. Eventually the whole platform might end up
transporting the saplings into a chest for easy replanting later, but throwing them into
the waterway makes sense for now. It also allows him to duck back inside when
the phantoms turn up to mess with him, although not without trying to force them into joining
the No Wings Club too. -[Phantoms screeching]
-Come on chump! You think you're so bad! Come on! VintageBeef also isn’t flying yet, although
that may be because his spaceship is easier to decorate while it’s hovering at accessible
heights. He adds some home comforts to the captain’s
quarters, which is a good move when he’s starting to look the part. -I like it. The captain's quarters! I can now set my spawn here, and this is the
spot that I, that I spawn when I die. Which hasn't happened yet! Number of Deaths! Zero! And on that note, we get some insight into
how this transformation began, and a glimpse at Evil Xisuma’s involvement - which might
explain why Beef seems so keen on joining the Derpcoin empire. -You have? Um... why? The decision to appoint a literal potato as
Boatem CEO might not be the troll we thought it was. Because Mumbo Harmless Harvests is pretty
successful. Sure, nobody’s buying the potatoes, but
they are buying everything else. So when the next meeting is called - at which
Grian appoints himself the Head of Snacks -[slightly muffled] So um,
-Are you meant to be eating right now? -Are you eating?! Mumbo introduces them to the company car scheme,
and the garage where they can all start their engines. With great horsepower comes great horse-responsibility. ["Tokyo Drift" style music]
-This is the ultimate parkour jumpin' race. -Buy at Boatem! Buy-
-What is going on? -Buy at Boatem! -Guys I took his bed. -Oh man. -Wait no. Go back and give it back! [mic-peakingly loud laughter] After the business in the front comes the
party in the back. But since the front business was a party,
the back party is now the business. Dedicated to actually completing the reverse
of his mountain, Mumbo mines out a ton of stone, leaving himself with some deepslate
he doesn’t have a need for. So naturally, he sets up a pop-up shop next
to Grian’s train. -Genuinely, I only had two reasons for doing
this. The first one was of course, annoying Grian. And the second one was because I came up with
a funny pun based name and I just didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to use it. I mean, just look at it. The server’s deepslate cravings might be
cured by DocM, who’s back on his Tunnel Bore game, getting around the tedium of mining
deepslate by blowing it up instead. -The tunnel bore is back my friends! I made one. I was bored. That’s not the only thing he blows up! But we’ll get there after we talk about
Etho taking a deal for a season’s supply of shulker boxes. DocM’s price is the fastest horse on the
server, and condemning Etho to the now traditional thousand spider eyes. -Ohhh-hohohoho-nooo. -[Laughing]
-Ohh. I mean. It's unlimited shulker boxes. I gotta do it, right? -Yeah, yeah man, it's a fair deal, fair deal,
hahahaha. But it’s a good thing Doc didn’t promise
a season’s worth of Obsidian, because his Wither powered farm goes abruptly sideways. Having transported some zombie piglins up
to the Wither cage, the moment of truth comes when Doc generates a portal, manually triggering
the Withers to destroy it - successfully - then as soon as he tries to automate the process,
the withers get released. Whether he can financially recover from this
remains to be seen, but he might look into ways of farming obsidian without unleashing
doom on the server. Doc’s business partner Rendog is holding
up his side of the operation, although not without his fair share of explosions too. Ren time lapses clearing the Octagon island
and laying the foundation - which is going to involve a LOT of copper aging - then builds
a concrete converting machine which promptly blows up. -And in a second we should hear a piece of
TNT exploding... [Pistons spamming; TNT explodes]
There it goes! And... Yeah. Mistakes have been made. After some adjustments, it’s back in action
and more reliable, and also includes an automatic glass smelter for all the sand you didn’t
want in pretty colours. PearlescentMoon gives us a mini Hermitcraft
Recap of her own, flashing back to her adventures with Ren and Doc, the Boatem meeting where
they egged each other to death, and explaining where the third (but definitely not final)
‘Scar Build Here’ sign came from. -Swag is actually an Australian term. Where you pack up your personal belongings
inside of like, kind of a roll? Or a bit of a sack? And then you, you take it around with you
on your journeys! But returning to the present, she’s got
a lighthouse-castle hybrid to build on top of her mountain - far enough inland that it
explains why all her other boats have found themselves permanently in dry dock. -Okay so, I know it's all stone, and also
apparently really covered in snow right now. Hold on guys, let me just fix that for one
moment. Unfortunately the current mountain is too
small for Pearl’s vast creative vision, so she’ll have to terraform some more before
we get a glimpse of the finished product. Especially if Scar will deliver on all the
places people ask him to build stuff, then there might not be a block left on the server. A chance to decide how to go about it presents
itself when Grian calls another Boatem meetup - having completed the Magic Bank for Magic
Money in his wizard shop alley, and no doubt wondering where to get some cash to put in
it. -Four degrees of wonk in it. Unfortunately, the time to present one’s
ideas in this Boatem meeting is limited to the length of a person fall from a thousand
blocks above world height. And that’s only long enough to say something
or other about cars, but even that will be blanked out by the wind noise and the screaming. -...gone, so-
-[screaming] so bad! -figure out with our-
-[incomprehensible screaming] -ohhh I'm gonna go in the hole! Anyhow, this is why the letter to Iskall had
to be real life mail and in elven penmanship. And that’s about it for this week’s recap! Our writer is ZloyXP and my name is Pixlriffs. If you like the humor on display in the show,
please subscribe to our writer, and as a good primer, click the video in the end screen,
in which Zloy mails three shulker boxes of terracotta to a friend’s base via the medium
of a zombie horde! Don’t forget to leave a like while you’re
still here, and subscribe so you won’t miss future recaps! Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you next
week.
