Helldivers 2 Is More Slapstick Than Substance | Cold Take

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Second Wind [Intro Music] I don't think I've been in a restaurant with nicer atmosphere. Food's okay I guess. Helldivers 2 is a third person wave shooter. Front loaded with as much ironic gravitas and fanfare as can be afforded to player without triggering a manic episode. But currently hasn't developed the back end enough to keep the good times rolling. I'm more than happy to play this game in small doses but any more than that causes the live service ennui to start creeping in. And I also didn't know where to fit this in so I'll inform you now. Helldivers 2 uses a kernel level anti-cheat system. I'm not trained in the ways of cyber security so I don't know what that entails. But I assume China already has my information anyhow. I'm not mad, I just like a cut is all. But I digress as games available on Playstation and Steam for PC for $39.99. Basic training was hell. But it was all worth it for this sweet cape. We're Helldivers. The bullets of freedom loaded into the chamber of democracy. We show up, call down our tools at the trade, and stop at nothing to reach our goal. Unless our capes get snagged in the bushes. Or the flowers explode. Or we step in each other's line of fire. We stopped alot actually. But we keep coming back. These bug infestations aren't gonna eradicate themselves. We give encouraging nudges with shotguns like machine guns, orbital strikes and our fists if it comes down to it. Our loyalty and hard works rewarded with credits for more toys and more baddies for the receiving end. Why automatons are so intent on preventing us from sowing the seeds of liberty? I'll never know. Not my job to know. I thought surely this game would need more than two hours to show me everything in its bag of tricks. Turns out it both was and wasn't enough time. As more and more games are going the live service route these days it's difficult to know where the boundaries start and end between what is here and what could potentially be here. Even as I'm writing this I have an article on my second monitor announcing players have discovered a new baddie. I don't know if it was there the whole time waiting to be found or if it's just part of the scheduled content release patch job. A different topic for a different day based on how I feel after devoting more time I can safely retroactively say that what the game was at two hours is what the game is at five hours, ten hours, twenty hours and so on. It's hard to not feel like the main characters in Helldivers 2. You could accidentally bite your tongue and that's reason enough for the omnipresent orchestra to full send a cup of Liberty by Wilbert Roget II. With each heroic swell years of narcissistic personality therapy are undone. [Watch Frost as he fails at a baby puzzle and give us all anxiety in the process] Biomes aplenty, home to hostile flora and fauna, are your military playgrounds. I tend to dislike sci-fi environments because there's only so much you can do to distinguish one desolate space rock from the next and if you've been to one abandoned truck stop in Arizona you've been to them all. You're still mostly fighting on rocky terrain but there's purple pastels, blue boulders, snowy steps, this is an abandoned Colorado truck stop. Not a single cent was spared in the production budget for this geopolitical sci-fi improv comedy show. It's whose line is it anyways, in space and the game supplies the setup. For this and every other scene you are a Helldiver, you dive for Super Earth. It's a lot like normal earth but it's ruled with managed democracy. The citizens don't vote directly, they take a BuzzFeed style personality test and then an AI system votes for them based on their favorite pizza toppings and Marvel movies. Where's the joke? - You might ask. Not to get too political but I believe people who put pineapple on pizza should be allowed to vote. This is probably the plain cheese demographic that launched us into this slapstick war anyhow. Every bullet and shockwave transforms even the most stalwart soldier into a co-hopping rag doll. Friendly fire on doesn't mean a game is meant for trolls per se. But by my count there are more creative ways to mess with a teammate than there are ways to kill AI enemies. You can throw them off a cliff into a wild beast stampede. Strategically litter the extraction zones with mines. Forget to tell them to duck your automatic sentry gun's line of fire and the best one. Return the favor by landing on their head with the karma pod. The devs didn't watch it too then why is it in the game? Meanwhile, the game's real, designated hostiles are dealt in two ways. Shoot at the choke point, or bomb the choke point. Red or white wine. Yes, I've trivialized it, but the point I'm getting at is that napalming a swarm of bugs loses its appeal quickly. But seeing your friends go into hysterics because now they're being chased by flaming chargers because you "wanted to help" never gets old. You do have to have a sense of humor about these kinds of things, but rarely does anyone engage in this manner if you use the online matchmaking system. Because it's rude to assume strangers will appreciate you spoofing and goofing the limited respawns away like your friends do. Once we've added each other to the friends list is when I feel comfortable enough to lob grenades at you going "you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dayan". I haven't quite found the way to get comfortable playing online with randoms. If I join someone else's session, I feel the pressure to be as little of an inconvenience as possible, which is difficult to control and avoid. And after the mission's over, I leave the ship before they get the chance to kick me or worse, send me a friend request. If I'm the one hosting the session, unintentionally because I was trying to play alone but people can join your match whenever, then I feel pressured to expedite the mission and objectives instead of exploring. I'm also still the one that leaves the ship because I don't want to hurt player feelings. Imagine moving out because you didn't want to tell your houseguest the party was over. Single player isn't too bad, but you have to put it on baby difficulty so no one will want to join you and if something silly happens it's only half as amusing because you're both the performer and the audience. I hate to discount the rest of the game's efforts by saying this game is only better with friends because it's put so much effort into making you and your friends feel special. But I'm not gonna give it full credit for our antics. The other part that fails the vibe test for me is the grind. My patience is wearing thin on games that lock progression behind in-game currency. Play get currency, unlock more game, or pay real money to expedite the process. Yes, you can pay real money to lessen the grind and the biggest defenses I hear for it are you can eventually unlock everything without paying. Which doesn't completely knock down the paywall allegations, just brings it down to waste height, or should I say time wasted height. And the other justification is the later guns and gear aren't even that much better. Then as I understand it, you're telling me there's nothing to look forward to and the grind is there for grind's sake. I can accept that gear is seen as a secondary thing you get on the side while you're enjoying yourself. Problem is, I'm not really enjoying myself. I take it back that's a little too harsh, I did enjoy myself when my friends logged on for two hour blocks where we mostly goofed off. As far as life service goes, it's not a bad spot for you and your buds to hang out after school or after work. But I'm moving on from this one because it gets shallow and repetitive really quickly even by wave shooter standards regardless of its commitment to making me feel like I'm in a Monty Python skit. I had more fun reading up on the lore and watching the videos people were making of their time playing. This game's not for people like me who don't find pleasure in sissifian tasks even at the boulder that keeps rolling back down the hill as a giant rubber chicken. This game is for people who want to drop their militant payload until their barrels have shriveled and fallen off. And for those who want to be immersed in the ironic Orwellian authoritarianism of it all. Note, the first hint that a game is more about immersive role-playing than actual gameplay is when you ask someone to describe the game and they respond to you in character instead of like a real person. Or maybe I'm too immersed in Helldivers 2 and I'm the soldier who starts asking too many questions. Are we the baddies? Am I a patriot acting on the orders of a panicked political system? We rage against the machines, killing in the name of prosperity, of liberty, of democracy, and for what? From what I've gleaned out of audio logs, the war can never be allowed to end whether in our total annihilation or total domination. Both lead to an end of life as we know it. The people sending us to fight are the same people providing us with an enemy. We're not fighting for freedom, we're harvesting oil and labeling anyone who wants to stop us a terrorist. If you don't believe me, read up on the lore. When the bugs break down, their bodies turn into oil. Maybe I need to learn how to stop worrying and love the bomb. Are you a fan of Alien? The Thing? Or True Detective Night Country? Want a chilling story to listen to on those cold winter nights? Then you need to tune into The White Vault, a fully voiced horror fiction podcast from the folks at Fool and Scholar Productions. The award-winning found footage show centers around an international rescue and repair team sent to discover the source of a mysterious signal at a remote Arctic research station. The weather takes a turn for the worst, the team becomes trapped, and you guessed it, spookies ensue. Check out The White Vault, available for free on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. Subscribe now and discover the unimaginable horrors that await beneath the ice.
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Channel: Second Wind
Views: 134,200
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: Cold Take, Frost, Helldivers 2, Review, Impressions, Gameplay, Second Wind
Id: 4pytGSdffVU
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 10min 5sec (605 seconds)
Published: Mon Mar 18 2024
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