Have I Got a Bit More News for You S61 E2 (19 Apr 21). Adrian Dunbar, Katherine Ryan, Tim Shipman

[Music] [Applause] good evening and welcome to have i got news for you i'm adrian dunbar in the news this week after the bbc cancels all regular programs on friday the head of scheduling opens his viewer feedback inbox there's one dog grooming salon reopens and blister alan carr's pug arrives for a nail trim okay [Music] and as gyms reopen across the country a new public information film asks men to re-familiarize themselves with the equipment on paul's team tonight is a hugely successful political journalist i'm not saying he's powerful and influential at westminster but he's just had a text from david cameron please welcome tim shipman and within tonight is a comedian who presents the jewelry making contest all that glitters as a reality tv show where contestants show off the rings it's second only to naked attraction please welcome katherine ryan so the first question of rhyme one covers a momentous story that we simply can't avoid as you all know last friday the nation was united in sorrow following the sad announcement that the much-loved masterchef final had been taken incidentally if you are offended by jokes about prince philip that's fine it's what he would have wanted i just want to say adrian this is difficult for you because it is you know major you know historical figure has died but when margaret thatcher died brian blessed hosted the show and you can imagine that two-minute silence was very hard to do the bbc coverage of the prince philip story has become the most complained about event in tv history they had so many complaints 110 000 of them that they had to make a special form to accommodate them viewers switching on bbc four and settling back to watch sons of the 70s saw this announcement and assumed a nuclear war had started it is classic i mean in television they're always like generals fighting the last war this was about the queen mother and the bbc got it in the neck then because they didn't put on enough coverage of the green mother so they thought this time we'll have nothing but coverage when this royal dies so we had this just absolute tsunami of coverage which was on literally all the time and even if you were quite interested at the beginning and i am quite interested you know let's go back and do the second world war and naval battles let's have it all by the end of it i'm going stop it's just they had the same thing on every channel all the time and i know you you're gonna say this is sour grapes because we were taken off which it is you already touched on the massive rye in 2002 after the queen mother died yes when news reader peter sissons was accused of having a two frivolous tie and a suit that wasn't darkened and it emerged that as he got ready to announce the queen mother's death peter systems was told to choose a burgundy tie not a black one and the news editor said to him don't go overboard she's a very old woman itv one also pulled their schedule though not itv two three and four and all those other rubbish ones that didn't really pull the kind of names the bbc had who did itv have on was it alan titchmarsh no that was that bbc actually it was theresa may ah and what was it about her according to philip schofield made her an appropriate contributor had she put her thousand pound leather trousers on again let's have a look shall we someone who saw that close-up was our former prime minister theresa may well she herself had a husband called philip to turn to that's a fabulous fabulous segue that was yes how did radio want that station adapt in preparation for the breaking news last friday did they play solemn house music i kind of did let's find out [Music] yeah he's looking good though why not as a remix you know i have definitely heard worse mashups i kind of enjoyed that little interlude the thing i liked about all this was that normally when someone dies all the hideous stuff about them comes out of the woodwork with prince philip um there's been so many terrible stories while he was alive that most of the coverage was about what a nice blokie apparently when the queen had her coronation and she walked into the back room afterwards he said where did you get that hat and i thought there was a very very good story about um him at school when they tried to set up a sort of hitler youth um organization and he refused to join and then whenever they did the salute he would say i'd like to go to the toilet early philip banter how did prince philip progress to the chapel at windsor land rover yes he sees no idea he designed it himself i think it was an electric vehicle um that's right he traveled in a customized land rover which he designed himself to carry his own coffin according to the times it used to cause prince philip wry amusement that many of those involved in the planning of his funeral died long before i do enjoy that only 30 people can attend the funeral and i like that lately only 30 people can attend your nuptials as well or christening and i think we should carry that forward so that all your loved ones jostle for position throughout your lifetime so who wasn't there well that's quite a large number of people yeah well at the funeral it is the world's population less 30. yeah that's right but meghan markle wasn't there oh she wasn't there wasn't she no she wasn't there now she was advised not to travel by her doctor i bet she breathed a sigh of relief it's worth getting pregnant just to avoid that no prince harry was there yes now is he still a prince is he still hrh is he indeed itch i am right now how did he describe his grandfather he called him the king of banter no i no we did yeah yes a master of the barbecue that's a lifetime of service for you and a legend of banter and can anyone recall any of prince philip's legendary banter at this point there's an awful lot of it yes well he did want to say about his daughter princess and if it doesn't fart or eat hay she's not interested so the queen decreed that all the men had to wear suits whose plans did that's what well that's dear old prince andrew he was desperate to dress as an admiral i'm not sure that they were in series for this reason i think i think they've just gone a bit to seed during lockdown like a lot of us have put on a bit of weight and frankly the only clothes that fit anymore will [Laughter] that'll be good for the royal commentators and here he comes wearing mods and spencer paisley pattern there is it a piece of paper looking resplendent yes pajamas of course invented by prince philip and there's the royal hot water bottle otherwise known as princess michael of cats well it was prince andrew who thought he should be made up to an admiral on his 60th birthday and according to the times had already asked his tailors to start making the uniform the many tributes to prince philip came from the members of the parliament what did the lords do all i know is parliament managed to sit for something like seven hours where they could all say how marvelous prince philip was and how they nearly met him and that's much more time than they gave to the eu bill it's very important that lots of mps did the duke of edinburgh's awards scheme they wanted to tell people about it the same happened in cabinet last week matt hancock said he got done his dvd and robert generic pipeline said well i got the gold award and i was presented it by prince philip what was that for property development boris johnson said he thought it was typical that hancock was such a school swap that he'd gone off and done the dmv so if you're reading the runes that probably means is our next education it's the house of lords members were able to make online video tributes to prince philip and get 162 quid attendance fee for doing so i mean i wouldn't get out of bed for 162 quid and a lot of them didn't have to this of course is the death of the duke of edinburgh his royal highness the prince philip duke of edinburgh earl of marianas baron greenwich royal knight of the most noble order of the garter extra night of the most ancient most noble order of the thistle member of the order of merit knight grand cross of the royal victorian order grand master and first and principal knight grand cross of the most excellent order of the british empire knight of the order of australia additional member of the order of new zealand extra companion to the queen's service order royal chief of the order of logahoo extraordinary companion of the order of canada extraordinary commander of the order of military merit lord of her majesty's most honorable privy council of the queen's privy council for canada personal aid to camp to her majesty lord high admiral of the united kingdom mother of god how big is that headstone last week there was an outcry when the bbc suspended most of its programming to make space for coverage of phillips death according to the guardian bbc four was taken off though we should point out there are no witnesses to corroborate the times showed how the hearse will make its way from windsor castle is in george's chapel now listen fellas if there's one thing i've learned it's never revealed the true root of a convoy [Laughter] paul and tim take a look at this yes oh that's the moment i suppose when uh people freedom there we are gather outside lying from blackpool it says this i have no reason to doubt it that's not a good look if you're a hairdresser yeah everything's opening up again or a lot of things are things that you can do indoors things you can't do outdoors correct correct there we are this is the news that lockdown restrictions have been eased in some parts of the uk and that the national target to vaccinate the euro 50s has been met yeah i know the over 45s can now get a jab which is very exciting for me personally but even more exciting for all those uh middle-aged middle-class people who are finally getting some drugs for the first time since glastonbury 29. why has our vaccination rollout been so successful that's it no i just i don't believe what it's difficult when they say it's been a real success because i feel like the government always says what we've done is a great success and then they talk sense sometimes but i feel like if wisdom started coming from the toilet i would be suspicious because i'd say well that sounds true but it's coming from the toilet yeah and that's how i feel anytime matt hancock speaks but there was a very very good guide this week the prime minister was asked why he thought our figures were going down so much and he said the important thing to remember it was not the vaccination it was the lockdown and i thought great it's the vaccination you know we've now got our relationship with the eu on an even keel as well haven't we um we're sending them the kent variant and they're sending us the vaccine pretty good deal you're way out of line fella right so what have you all done this week that wasn't legal last week [Laughter] yes exactly pub shops salons and staycations are back let's see two people delighted to be able to visit a restaurant in cranley surrey that looks fun doesn't it i bet it was fun if you were having soup it would take you about four years to finish it lots of my friends saying oh let's go out and have a drink and i think no i have done that in lockdown that's the one thing i think i've probably got quite good at have you been sitting on a park bench on your own but it is difficult going back to actual measures when you're not free pouring them yourself in the lounge that was an adjustment we had a pub lunch outside and i just thought this something's wrong with the sprint i didn't make it and what did the staff at magnolia barbering in chesterfield have to do did they have to employ a hairdresser for every single hair that was being cut no they had to put up nightclub style barriers outside to control the cries of men desperate for a haircut boris johnson apparently was amongst those saying he needed his haircut badly and this week someone made his wish come true so how were visitors to alton tara's theme park greeted when it reopened uh with heavy sarcasm hit in the face with wet fish they get free ride according to the daily telegraph a welcome party included eric the yeti and darwin the dodo which came as a disappointment to eric and darwin who didn't know their colleagues had given them those nicknames now shall we have a look at how one reporter covered the reopening of blackpool pleasure beach yes well there's a lot of work to do here at blackpool pleasure beach getting ready for the crowds to come back on my gosh here's a bit of the work that they've got to do that man there does he always shout like that but he thought to try and cover it and put him on a roll effect yeah he probably always does over at ikea in bristol according to the times the store had a relaxed air with customers limited to a thousand at a time while rachel kipling drove to john lewis just to breathe it in so what have the welch opened for the first time since last year but the scots haven't the possibility of a united kingdom the welsh border has reopened to visitors from the rest of the uk i mean but and says here did anyone notice it was closed well obviously not and scotland may reopen its border in mid-may and what did the chairman of nerve tag nerfed any rv tag have to say about all this oh is it one of the subcommittees yes this is the new and emerging respiratory virus threats advisory group chairman professor peter harby was asked about the easing of lockdown restrictions and he told times radio hopefully it won't translate too much into hospitalizations and deaths well that's the spirit [Laughter] finally we mentioned nigel farage's venture interpersonal video messaging last week yes let's take a look at how that's going right yeah lovely happy birthday hugh james was that him looking into a mirror so this is the joyous lifting of lockdown oh if you're watching the repeat the reckless harbinger of the third wave one vaccine development this week is that az has been backed by the mhra and ema using data from the ons and the phe to support the jcv i mean hang on i only said yes to this show to get away from yak dangerous clots are also in the news due to johnson and johnson well stanley and his missus certainly produce one according to the mirror on monday four million pints of beer were sold in the uk the equivalent of 92 pints a second which proves if there's one thing we can roll out faster than the vaccine it's the barrel oh i've missed those spur at the moment impromptu quick drinks with me it's where you just go online to the local pubs website access the booking form find an hour and a half window on april the 23rd between 5 45 and 7 15 in the garden use a credit card to pay a deposit to secure the booking and enter the names emails and mobile phone numbers of each of the people who will be attending and chill according to the sun on a cold monday night people kept warm as they drank outdoors thanks to blankets and hot water bottles and in northern ireland blazing police cars at the end of that round it's two points each no thank you on to run two the investigation board of news fingers on buzzers teams [Music] what do you think tim well it's david cameron that's right all right this is the part of the show where we talk about nicking bent lobbyists allegedly um he got involved with this financier chat called lex greensell lex luthor not being available that way and he got him to come and work for him and then when he stopped being prime minister um he started doing some work from green sill in return finding up all his old mates and asking for lots of money unfortunately most of his old mates told him to get stuffed um boris johnson has been shocked to discover that all this has been going on so he's ordered uh an independent inquiry and it's very urgent it only took 11 years to be investigated but dave is going to turn up he's going to answer all the questions uh though i think you'll find adrian that he does want to be quizzed by someone one ranked senior to himself um but you know dave is very very sorry he's very very sorry he got caught boris basically said he was going to set up an inquiry into cameron because he doesn't like him anyway so that's great um and he thought i'll throw him under the bus and that'll do and then the inquiry um has generated a whole lot of stuff about boris too really yes and about his involvement um and him being lobbied by the um saudi arabian prince mohammed bin salman who apparently is able to ring up our prime minister and say i don't like what's happening with the premier league sorted out the prince then rang boris and said would you correct the decision they've made it's fairly straightforward i think they've got the idea that british prime ministers are there just to do whatever they say i mean cameron this is a year after the khashoggi affair is is in a tent going camping in saudi arabia uh with the prince you know there's a crackling fire chuck another journalist on it it's reminiscent of glastonbury after it went pot wrong you seem to be obsessed with glastonbury were you turned down from headlining at the pyramid stage at some point yeah i've my puppetry of the penis has never yet been accepted but i mean when i look at cameron i i just want to question i want to say what has happened to us when did we stop caring about honesty and integrity it's not a rhetorical question you know and a bare-faced liar promoted to our highest office don't forget that here david cameron did say he learned one lesson he said um that when he was exerting influence within government on behalf of private financial service companies that he should do that meddling through the official channels and not via texting sorry but it's sort of a lesson learned this isn't a gray area these people who procure this then go and work for them and now we find out that a civil servant while he's a civil servant oh did i not mention i've got another job the head of procurement i know exactly how you guys feel because this relentless dishonesty is frustrating and i experience it whenever people talk about do the kardashians edit their photos on instagram but there is some good news in all of this the return of lord eric pickles hurrah yes absolutely lord pickles is head of a cobra bloody acronyms that's the advisory committee on business appointments now what is lord pickles looking into uh he's looking into all this misdoing um including presumably by members of his own board who themselves are lobbyists at the same time as serving on the watchdog that's supposed to clean all this up so he's going to sort it out for us he is he's investigating why one of cameron's top officials when in government bill cruthers was also working for greenfield capital a dual role which brothers himself described as not uncommon according to the daily mail he later received shows that could have been worth more than five million pounds so what is kirstarma suggesting should happen he wants another inquiry this time run by mps yes hurrah he's also saying this let's have a look we don't need another conservative party appointee marking their own homework actually mr speaker the more i listen to the prime minister more i think that ted hastings and ac 12 are needed to get to the bottom of this fight that's why we have tougher laws on our lobby a great shame uh that labour oppose them mr speaker yes we are getting on with rooting out bent coppers mr speaker oh that's very good boris yes well done for picking up the torch there yes and finally let's have a quick look at how alex salmon's alba party are doing in their efforts to promote themselves in scotland oh mother of god right this is the news that david cameron will face an investigation over his role with finance firm greensville capital despite dragging mohamed bin salman into the green sill scandal cameron remains on good terms with the saudi prince in fact he's just been invited to a free stay at the istanbul embassy like fingers on buzzer's teams this must be a story judging by a picture that amaro has managed to grow the baldest man in shropshire [Laughter] yes that's right this is right oh you said it was right no no it's not right no no it's not right and it was right i can confuse a stupid person i love this man his name is gerald and he's a septuagenarian who's gone viral which is the last thing a man in his 70s wants to hear during pandemic but he is a 70 something year old influencer huge following and he grows big veg yep that's him this is the news that 72 year old retired barge controller turned gardener joel stratford is gucci's latest supermodel right shall we take a look at gerald in gucci ads right yes here's the rather dashing gerald showing some models of feast of salad it's really good to show thin city dwellers what food is yes that's right here he is watching on as one of the models vandalizes his cabbage patch actually i assumed he was holding a cabbage but it might just be the sleeve of that gucci jacket gerald became a twitter superstar after a picture of his king edwards went viral i'm sorry how does a picture of like that go viral no a man holding a dish full of potatoes what what what what's gone wrong with the world when that goes live so when did we stop caring about no me look there's monster views of the earth from outer space a man holding a load of potatoes click click click i don't get it well they turned off gardner's question time last friday and people needed an outlet and he's very charismatic he always says good morning in his videos he's a real lovable chap well look if he's got a bigger bowl he wouldn't have to hold three potatoes in his hands that's what he's gone wrong maybe that's why peter he went viral yeah a big bowl and a small measure of potatoes yeah exactly he's right does anyone know what gerald's speciality veg is carrots here are his carrots is he just this bloke's a little bloat he's only like about three foot six or something and he's killed normal-sized carrots everybody's going viral for no reason at all here is enormous onions this is looking more and more like a kink all the time yes would anyone like to see a gardener who's had slightly less good fortune than gerald yes we'd love to there he is yeah yeah why are gardeners in switzerland burying their underwear oh that's a tricky one but it's all over the news guys is it um is it all over the british news we've only had one story that's right yeah that's right now it's very big in some of the cantons oh is it sort of like that astronaut movie where waste was used to grow fresh veg maybe they have really like foul knickers and they're using it as a that is correct that is really good catherine that's really good it's not quite right but it's really good to help scientists test soil quality the idea is that they all bury the same pair of fresh white underpants and dig up the soil pants a few months later where they will be analyzed to see what microbes are eating away at the underwear where do they get this stuff from the vegetable king to a beauty queen what dramatic turn did the mrs sri lanka contest take last week mrs misses mrs um it was a man in drag well i think a woman was jealous that her friend was divorced and she was still married and she says you cannot have the crown because you are divorced ah catherine that's very good so because immediately after the current holder of the title i know about two things kardashians and international beauty pageants well that's interesting isn't it you know because immediately after current hold of the title caroline jury announced her successor she then said that in fact pushpika de silva couldn't have the title because she was a divorcee and that the runner-up should have the crime instead let's have a look at the declining [Music] desperate isn't it the crime was eventually returned to bushkeeper after judge confirmed she was not a divorcee just separated from her husband this is the news that giant vegetable grower gerald stratford has been signed up to be the face of gucci's new collection gerald has grown carrots and parsnips that are three feet long any one of which could feed all the other gucci models for a year right fingers on buzzers everybody right out of serious matters is this the cricket where we've got this new um series called the hundred yeah where they've gone off and focus grouped it we now have instead of wickets we have outs and uh we're having batters instead of batsmen and traditional britain is up in arms about the whole thing is it 100 overs no it's 100 balls that is quick why not just have one ball yeah and then t yeah one ball i mean i know that a lot of language is evolving but qriket to me does not seem like the ideal environment for change you know a lot of these fans have had to make so many adjustments already their grandchildren are changing their pronouns they've got to sit down and watch drag race uk with the family they hardly grope women at all let them have cricket yes this is the launch of the new cricket competition the hundred aimed at modernizing the game and dragging it into the 19th century which means at the end of this round it's ian and catherine with uh three points and paul and tim with four and so tying now for the odd one outrun yes yes ian and catherine here are yours leonardo da vinci two visitors at an art gallery sir anthony hopkins and pig castle well it's all gonna be art related obviously sir anthony hopkins played leonardo da vinci didn't he um i think he played picasso okay so and this pig is called pig casso cause he paints with his snout allegedly or you know that looks like an accident to me but apparently he's a genius sir anthony paints he does does now you've got it yeah how right so they all paint the pig paints um sir anthony paints that couple it can't be this easy they're the only people who don't paint ian bang on again they're all artists apart from the two visitors to a south korean art gallery who painted on an artwork so what made a young couple in seoul think they could start painting on an artwork they walked across an installation not knowing it was an installation yes the untitled piece by american graffiti artist joe one worth over 300 000 was displayed unframed in a shopping mall with paint cans and brushes scattered around it so they're presumed it was a piece of participatory heart let's have a look at the painting ah [Music] i don't think you need me to point out where they dub the paint on it you know that's ruining it completely there you are you see hang on i think i've met d.i kate fleming in that underpass yeah so leonardo da vinci is of course an artist but what has been tough this criticism he's given you the answers here what has been revealed about him in a new documentary doesn't the aforementioned prince of saudi have his most expensive work on a yacht and refuses to let it be displayed in a museum oh this is salvatore mundi correct ah and people aren't entirely sure whether this is a da vinci or not and there's a suggestion that the saudi prince may have paid a phenomenal amount of money for something that is fake david cameron possibly [Laughter] experts at the louvre conducted x-ray analysis and salvatore mundy painting previously thought to be by da vinci and concluded that he only contributed a few brush drugs the lizzie flacco i didn't know that jesus was a fan of indoor bowling [Laughter] so meanwhile what has the talented artist and pig pig castle been painting recently i'll give you a clue here is the finished piece that does look like boris johnson to me i'll be honest well actually that's prince harry apparently and how do we know the pig said who is this big island creature yes it's dolly parton and uh yes that's it yeah apparently she's not an aged one issue and who's this that's donald trump correct wow i've got into the pigs how do you do that you've got into the big genre yeah have you yeah and finally who's this fetching portrait of is this the uh bolton wanderers reserve team no this is actually a nude donkey a nude a nude donkey as opposed to one women in a suit i can't believe how this show has deteriorated yeah i mean what has happened to us i mean yeah yeah what yeah exactly what when did we stop caring in our universal grief we're we're naming celebrities painted by a pig the poor scene artist is called pig castle it's a good name but i'd have gone with francis bacon myself who also used to get slaughtered after today's painting and lastly sir anthony hopkins was meant to be attending the bafta film awards ceremony virtually on sunday but missed it because he was working on a painting in a hotel room yes i've always wondered who did those paintings [Laughter] paul and tim your four are brian robson wally almo garcia and the abominable snowman uh where's wally you usually have to try and find him in a picture so that's the main characteristic of wally the abominable snowman is someone that's not easy to find or to confirm that he exists so something about searching for people i mean the bloke that's streaking he's probably quite easy to find when he goes shopping um i think the streaker is from the manu game the other day he's some kind of he's like spain's version of swampy he's a nudist eco warrior but i think in order to do his streaking he had to hide under a tarpaulin for several hours so i think there's a sort of hiding oh right okay so like wally is hiding as well yes they're all good at hiding apart from the abominable snowman he was such a draw for tourists that siberian officials staged lots of sightings here are the perpetrators as pictured in the daily mirror siberian governor and yeti man they're hopefully clarified and so how else did governor aman tulayev who'd wink people into thinking they'd seen a yeti did they leave big footprints well he dressed up in a yeti costume and ran around up from the mountains and then gave the traditional yeti mating call where's broom and jailbeat that's why there aren't many of them left i think you should go and have a chat with this guy because that's exactly what he did 1997 to 2018 julia give instructions to his staff such as find someone tall turn a fur coat inside out and run around shouting so that tourists notice but they must not catch him no no a local siberian artist claimed that a yeti actually posed for him the main thing was his eyes they were just like olmo garcia was seen streaking at the football match between manchester united and grand last week here he is being led away by police if you want to see the tackle then i'm sure on the internet according to police almo entered the stadium at 7am before spending 14 hours hidden under a large canvas making his move 10 minutes into the match must have been quite cold under there i imagine as well yeah he's got a great body but huge nips you're right about the temperature that's right yeah so in 1964 a homesick brian robson once airmailed himself home from australia to london in a crate as he couldn't afford the airfare yes brian is now hoping to find the men who helped him make the journey here's the box they helped him get him so how did brian rate his trip a bit crazy yeah this was pre-amazon yes that's right they turned up in a cardboard box this time i don't think they respected that this way up signs that's right they did jostle him and hurt him quite a lot yes that's right he he described it as quite a horrific experience and that he had repeatedly been stored upside down so did brian make it back to london is the question no yes eventually the interrogation's tough yeah that's right yes you just keep yourself together fellas brian ended up in l.a after the flight he was supposed to be put on was full and spent five days in the crate instead of the 36 hours he'd been expecting he was then discovered by a u.s cargo handler and sent home to london the answer is they're all good at hiding apart from the abominable snowman who was desperate to be seen in russia whereas wally is a book series in which children have to find wally in a crowd i should probably explain to our younger viewers that a crowd is a gathering of lots of people brian robson is now looking for the two irishmen who helped him into the crit for the flight where he says he couldn't stretch his legs and he couldn't turn run hold on i think one of them might be that guy who owns ryanair all right so time now for the missing words round which this week features as its guest publication the newsletter of the mya model yacht association i'm guessing sales are done and we start with what set to be item most often stolen this year liberty hi john collider uh id cards cabinet office pass memories is it vaccine passports by brexiteers if they're blue ones yes well the answer is of course hot tubs or as professor chris whittie calls it the petery dish of new variant infection next mystery tree beast turns out to be that's nigel farage ah yes i know this i saw a bin bag full of chickpeas actually the answer is a croissant animal welfare officers in poland were alerted to a mysterious base in a tree which turned out to be a croissant here is the offending pastry next chef criticized for putting what in her salad german o'leary oh don't be ridiculous oh sorry is that a [ __ ] wall name in holmes uruguay i'm going through the alphabet yeah uruguay's good yeah i'd like that vodka maybe a little vodka vinaigrette i've tried it not terrible no it's popcorn the chef's popcorn salad recipe includes popcorn mayonnaise sour cream sugar and cheese powder and if we're pushing the limits of the word salad to this extent i know a lovely grape salad you can drink from a wine glass what started life in the mcdonald's at the junction of the air one in the air 14. vegetarianism michael gove um prince harry a baby was a real baby born there oh no oh is it a yacht oh the model yacht club yeah that was brilliant absolutely huntington radio yacht club yes in the spring of 2012 a small group met up in a mcdonald's for a chat about starting a new club but the dogging didn't take off so they turned to model yachts next pensioner uses lockdown to clean their what filthy language browsing history well the answer is collection of 23 000 milk bottles oh yes steve has spent lockdown cleaning his collection at an average of 657 bottles per day at a rate of 82 an hour in eight hour shifts in fact he's worked so long for so little money that amazon have offered him a job in her world next mystery as hundreds of sheep what are single become one answer is stand in circle in field oh right yes this is uh shall we have a look yeah there they are if you want to know what's happening really happening the sheep taking the mickey out of the pigs in the next door field by doing an impression of a cumberland sausage if you have a big nose stand by you can host have i got news for you yes exactly you can live on less water you can live on less water big noses have helped humans adapt to dry landscapes apparently our nasal passages help conserve water by cooling and condensing the water vapor from exhaled air and turning it back into liquid that's according to professor conquist that big and finally if you ask most people what does the model yacht association provide for its members the first item usually mentioned is what friendship fellowship technical uh solutions is it a yacht scurvy sailor uniforms insurance insurance i remember reading a story about 30 years ago about a man who built a scaled-down model of the titanic yeah and he launched it in its sank well as they say in belfast she was all right when she left here the article goes on to reveal that the maximum limit for each claim is 5 million model yachts sound a bit sad but they're currently the only way you can get sausages from northern ireland to britain and so the final scores are ian and catherine have six points and paul and tim have six points and i leave you with the news that evidence comes to light that robert jenrick and dominic rabb are members of a secret fight club in the basement of number 10. scientists announced that they have successfully created an artificial intelligence cyborg fusing elton john and jurgen klopp in whitehall there's a measured response to boris johnson's order for any civil servants with second jobs to declare it once and then the stag party in berkshire one frustrated partygoer realizes that there must have been a typo in his online request for two strippers thank you and good night [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so [Music] you

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Length: 44min 15sec (2655 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 19 2021