guy talks about being a dad after his diagnosis

hi hello guys one of the kids who is always in my stream he wrote to me like hey you need to reach out to sir more because it would be a cool story for them can you do that for me so i'm like okay if you ask me that i'll do that and that's that's how i wrote the message so in august it really hit me 6th of august last year in 2018 i got a pre-warning i was actually a crazy workaholic from when i was a kid the maximum sleep that i had was four hours every day i was working then in 2018 i got my first heart attack i woke up luckily and then they checked me and in your blood they can check by oxygen levels and then they're like yeah you're very lucky you need to change your life otherwise we will see you back in the next six months so i didn't change my life in august i completely shut down i couldn't move my lung capacity was 32 i couldn't breathe couldn't do anything anymore so uh yeah that was a tough period tough period i thought i was superman but then i knew i wasn't so when it happened everybody thought i had a burnout i overworked i had a lot of stress my mentality was like so good and i knew it wasn't a burnout a lot of tests were done psychologists everything and then even the psychologist said like no this this isn't a burnout with with everything that we see uh this has to be something else to find uh a muscle disease specific one it takes a long time until this day they still don't know exactly what it is the computer models and what the doctors say it's a neural muscle muscular disease but we still need to yeah know which one until this day they still don't know which one because there's so many specific ones and yeah it takes forever right now i'm still every day on painkillers i'm waiting for any improvement when i look back now there were many signs but i just kept going and because my mantle was so good i always stood back up i had a lot of time chest pain certain the amount of times i couldn't breathe as well always just look at your body and i i never looked at my body i just kept going and going i still remember the first time going out in a wheelchair that was the toughest time for me people looking at you and people asking can i help you i've never been a guy that they they needed to help but yeah it was mentally very very hard now still it's very hard i have three kids earl 14 boy of 10 and then another boy of four the girl of 14 she knew and she saw the most the boy of 10 as well all these little things we went parting every two weeks i couldn't do all these things i couldn't even drive a car they were always used for me to drive a car even take them to school and i couldn't do all these things anymore and they were yeah every day they're basically afraid they helped me so much like right now i can't open bottles with my hands so they come to me hey do i need to open your bottle they're adapting and it's nice to see how they how they help me now and before i had to help them i'm really proud of them i can game with them that's how uh how everything changed basically as i mentioned i had three businesses since i couldn't do it anymore my employees did a tremendous job but unfortunately it was a ship without a captain basically at the end of last year i had to file in bankruptcy that is also a very weird thing because i did crazy things in my life went to so much places never had to look at money in the time that i was a workaholic i was doing my daddy role but not like like it should yeah i really appreciate those things now being around them every day playing fortnite so much that's really nice and now they motivate me so that's even better it's even better i've never gamed before because i only worked then the 10 year old he didn't like doing challenges in fortnite and then i was like can you do it for me and i started doing it and they kept asking like it's so fun can we please play more unfortunately at one point a couple of months ago also dead stopped because i couldn't game anymore that really hurt because the four-year-old he couldn't understand like he was crying daddy i wanna play with you can you please try but i couldn't um like game wise i went from from holding a controller i couldn't hold the controller anymore so i tried keyboard and mouse um that like in a while that didn't work anymore as well then i found a company who 3d prints like a specific hand i ordered one of those and now i'm game gaming again with them all the buttons on one hand and the other hand my mouse to aim my doctor games as well so that's nice one of my doctors they said like immediately when it's allowed you go to the revalidation and the hospital because i need to keep my muscles going as well but i'll ask also for a specific set for your hands and that's what i'm doing right now almost every day for two to three hours in the hospital so did you feel like you maybe had sort of a blind spot in your life before this like you weren't being all the dad that you could be and this is really giving you a second chance yeah for sure because the little one i still remember i was in us for business i luckily saw his first steps but on facetime that really hurt me because i was lucky that facetime exists but otherwise yeah i would have missed it and i've missed so much in life first words and all these things so yeah i have a lot of time to catch up now and uh i love that part did it affect your personal relationships at all i had no friends i had business friends um i had my employees but other than that i i was only working i basically lost all my business friends even to a point that like i didn't expect what some some did but right now i'm really in a close group just my family and my new family actually the the gaming community i call it my new family because that is very nice how is your wife taking everything she is amazing she supports me she cooks the amazing food there's always notes ready for me at my desk like i love you my hands started to be to be bad and i got a note you can do it yes you can love you big time i have it in my hand right now because i'm gaming long in the middle of the night she can text me like hey i love i love you just keep doing what you do we've never been so close to the fact that actually the kids told us last last week hey you guys are like crazy and loved 20 years 20 years old sometimes they're embarrassed about us so yes i lost everything but i also started a new life and i still can do new things that i love before i was in a cocoon and only focusing on myself and my business but now i feel much more pride and joy helping others than what i was doing before so in that way yes i feel much better the negative fact is every four hours i'm taking um opoids you guys know that i think i need to take them for the pain so is your condition largely stabilized now and it's just sort of recovering or does their potential for further uh progress of like further degeneration it's going backwards like normally i could speak even more fluid than now now i i need to double think like my my brains are going backwards i can walk again and that's good but i do have a feeling the doctor said the same thing and that i will end up back in a wheelchair and that's something i don't like but yeah if i can't stop it yeah it will be what it will be a lot of times my hands don't work and i'm super stressed and i can't game and i can't grow it's not easy being an old guy that never and still want to become the best but um like i'm a foster learner and i surrounded myself with really good people i'm beating a lot of friends from my son i love to do that so do you speak like dutch or french or because your english is so good it's hard to tell yeah i speak dutch i can speak french in a little bit german actually a fun fact my four-year-old the son he speaks better english than um dutch that's what they tell them at school so it's really because of youtube and video games sorry for the minecraft community that's a game that i will never play so my kids love it i won't play it my daily routine is waking up around noon then always i have amazing breakfasts i have some breakfast on uh that i posted on twitter if you see it's made with love it's with hearts and everything then i go to the hospital be there two to three hours then it depends on how i feel if i feel good i start straight with my aim training because i also have an amazing aim coach in training in kovacs after my aim training i start up fortnite play fortnite with my kids because they love it and they wait for me then i jump straight into games twitter do a lot of twitter talk with a lot of people online discord also something new for me but it's really nice i do that till uh yeah three to four am i'm back to sleep every day for the body it's it's really intense because i'm doing so much hours in a hospital and that's like very physical there will be a point that my hands will give up but i still want to do the maximum i want to really reach the maximum in my my gaming i want to be the dad the virtual dad for the gaming community also like i followed uh your episode with aaron it really touched me like that really touched me it was so nice uh i started to follow him you could tell everyone in the world one thing what would it be one thing um always be positive focus in front of you don't look too much behind you be the light in the world the world is a dark place but with positivity you can shine a light and the more people that shine that light makes this dark place much brighter and positive so that's it you

Channel: Syrmor

Views: 155,799

Keywords: vr, syrmor, vrchat, virtual reality, vrchat stories, people in vrchat, guy in vrchat, girl in vrchat, anime, thatgeekaaron, korean bird vrchat, kid in vrchat, avatar, vr funny moments

Id: 5cLnwp_i7zE

Length: 12min 24sec (744 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 20 2020