Gretchen Rubin Shares 8 Personal Rules of Happiness | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network

I love this okay first commandment be Gretchen substitute your own let it go yeah let what go anger resentment grudges don't get worked up about the Meinl act the way I want to feel so this is interesting psychological research shows that people think we think that we act because of the way we feel I'm throwing things because I'm angry but a very great extent we feel because of the way we act so if I feel resentful but I act kind I'm gonna feel more kindly and so it's very hard for us to directly affect our emotions it's really tricky to control your emotional state but you can't control behavior and so if we act the way we want to feel then we're gonna feel the way we want to feel be polite and be fair I had a boss who said I was getting a promotion and I was worried about whether I was gonna be able to do a good job and she said very sternly be polite and be fair you'll be fine and I was like that basically covers everything and what it really does it does it really does okay enjoy the process Oh big this is my father's mantra if you enjoy the process then you can let go of outcomes everything doesn't have to work out your way if you enjoy the process okay no calculation was that mean well this comes from my spiritual master saint torres and she said when one loves one does not calculate and I'm kind of a bean-counter like I did this for you so now you should do this for me like especially in marriage like Kimmy score yeah as scorekeeping is not the loving way so just let it like just do it about doing a thing and then one of your husband Jay you have to say wow wasn't it wonderful exactly you're like since you did this like you had your turn now I have my turn but no calculation is like no keeping score no keeping score so how have you eliminated that keeping score for yourself I haven't done it a hundred percent yes but just the reminder I mean one of the things I like about the personal Commandments is because they're very short I can kind of keep them in mind all the time and when I catch myself in that cycle of scorekeeping I'll say to myself no calculation no calculator that's not what I want for myself you know I want to expect myself to behave good and there is only love Oh a friend of mine went to work for a very difficult boss and she just realized she couldn't work for this guy if she like let him get under her skin associates it there's only love there's only love and she would not allow herself to think like to go into a negative or gossip about him be on his back or like get worked up about him hi youtubers I'm excited to give you an update about our own YouTube channel now you can find new videos every day they're the kind of videos that will make you look at life differently they may even make you laugh a little bit who doesn't need a daily dose of that so here's just a taste of some of what you'll see subscribe to the own channel today and we'll see you on YouTube

Channel: OWN

Views: 48,195

Rating: 4.9396987 out of 5

Keywords: OPRAH, super soul sunday, the have and the have nots, full episodes, love thy neighbor, if loving you is wrong, Interview, iyanla vanzant, livin lozada, evelyn lozada, lindsay lohan, episode, season, Gretchen Rubin Shares 8 Personal Rules of Happiness, Gretchen Rubin, Personal Rules of Happiness, Super Soul Sessions, Steep Your Soul, #supersoulsunday, SuperSoul Sessions, SuperSoul Sunday, super soul sundays, oprah super soul sunday, brene brown, spiritual, Religion, God, Faith

Id: 5Gfr2kjGtzk

Length: 2min 52sec (172 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 09 2015