Graham Linehan - Tough Crowd

foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] but the penis lady [Applause] we're not on the show don't talk tell you what look this is how great a comedian I am no look I'll hold it I'll hold it I'll hold it I'll hold it I'm learning as they go thank you very much [Applause] men profiting after Labor of women [Applause] no no no no no no let's go to that short let's go so uh how's your month been I'll tell you one thing Rosanna Lockwood won't be talking about nonsense with Peter tatchel sitting next to her over again what did I do I still don't know what I've done wrong but banned from the Edinburgh festival and the Conservative Party Conference if there were still DVDs I'd be able to put on too hot for the Edinburgh Fringe and the Conservative Party Conference don't even laugh Helen laughs people be like oh I only go home too hot for the unrefringe that must be pretty hot and the Conservative Party Conference uh so it's been a bit of an insane month as you can imagine uh people have been very worried about me very thankful you know thank you to anyone who's been expressing concern I am okay I am okay I'm trying to yeah yeah yeah yeah oh thank you that's that's what the comedian wants is is people shouting out we love you you're okay just making another boat [Laughter] [Applause] oh God jokes I remember them [Applause] uh but uh like I I am I'm taking care of myself um I'm on a diet uh my version of a diet is uh I ordered the same Pizza I order every time except just before it arrives I make the mental note be gentle with this one of the room as as soon as I get onto my material like the Titanic hitting an iceberg three times a week bare minimum uh I realized I had to go to the gym because uh when you're under the kind of stress that I'm under then uh even the most mundane things feel like the opening moments of uh casualty you know it's not a good sign when you're standing up and uh you feel like you're at a rave [Laughter] it's not a good thing to get out of breath while thinking about doing something oh imagine if I did that [Laughter] I might have to look at my phone at some points I apologize one of the things I kind of want to talk about a little bit tonight is I've got some good news and some bad news uh the good news is I'm giving up comedy [Applause] no no no no no no wait let me explain the problem right if you were the thing about comedy is I love it so much that um I want to do it really well you know and to do it really well you have to learn the craft and for a stand-up comedian that means going to clubs every night and doing it in front of different crowds not just turfs who heard about it you know like doing it for the people who actually hate you that's kind of what you have to do you know and and my problem is uh a caviarist I'm 55 years old and if I was and basically at the moment I'm averaging a gig every two months so if I want to get comfortable with this act uh I'll probably get there in my early 90s also other comedians they look at me and they don't accept me I can tell they don't no they don't they don't they're like did you ever see a goat hanging around with puppies [Laughter] on tick tock it's kind of like that the dogs know something's wrong if you keep popping we're not going to be able to smell your ass [Laughter] great let's face it a bit of a victory [Music] and I'm delighted sorry oh God bless you again that's what I want is sympathy cheers I want people just to thank you very much you know I do appreciate it uh where was I what was he saying yeah Hollywood even though it was a good uh it was a good experience overall and it was good propaganda thing because uh it kind of Drew attention to how [ __ ] comedy is at the moment it really did you know if you can't get a gig at the Edinburgh Fringe I read there were people saying Raymond is coming with his jokes Helen we're not on the [ __ ] show Ray Miller is coming with his junks you know uh and and things like it just kind of made me think you know what this is insane and I'm not really going to be able to learn the Craft um while I'm kind of uh under this kind of bizarre pressure you know however however I have good news and this is the perfect audience to announce it to I've written a book anyone anyone got an idea what the title might be you can't say you know come on no not canceled anyone else [Laughter] you know what there's still time to change it [Laughter] no doubt do you know what I was gonna call it for some time I was gonna call it and Father Ted fans will recognize this one I was going to call it and now we move on to Liars oh no it's it's called tough crowd it's uh about uh Father Ted and the IT Crowd and writing all of them and then about what happened in the last five years and all the madness and uh kind of explains my situation and uh why I think the things that I do so um it's a little little gonna go down hopefully a little bit better than just shouting uh you know groomer of people on Twitter because it's a tough I have I do have a tough time I went into um Town recently and uh I don't normally go on to town because it's a bit of a fraud experience when I say town I mean Soho because I used to be in the media I used to be in the media and that's what I think of as town you know so I had to go in and it wasn't until I was already in that I realized it was Pride going on but the holy day of Pride when Santa leaves dildos under your sex harness Son of God was born to something or other it was the actual day and uh it's very very it's a bit like I'm a heterosexual man so uh uh Mass demonstrations of of Joy I don't like them in the anyway [Laughter] but pride is particularly dangerous for me well I don't want to and I apologize to any Jewish people here but it is a little bit like Crossing occupied France while Jewish [Laughter] what are you doing in town uh you know I'm just just picking up some picking up some supplies you know oh you did not go to Pride [Laughter] do you not like Pride no no I'm an ally I'm an ally [Music] can I ask why do you uh why do you always smoke with the cigarette in between the middle finger and the finger on the left I I don't know I suppose I am a little bit here [Laughter] since uh since you enjoyed Pride so much why don't we sing The Pride song yes yes you know zip song we all sing but that's the knowledge of the parents in school [Laughter] oh yes yes and using using the end yes and if you do not sing the end well maybe you'll get off the train with me and we'll have a further chat okay here we go you ready yes yes lgbtq [Laughter] [Applause] 2A [Music] SS [Applause] Hey listen I think that's it I just wanted to say God bless you for supporting me I really appreciate it you've been a real help these last few weeks you know and uh I really really feel it so uh I can go a bit longer until this book comes out and I start making money again [Applause] yeah I'll see you around thank you goodbye foreign

Channel: Comedy Unleashed

Views: 60,405

Keywords: comedy, standup, satire

Id: sY-po7c7Nm4

Length: 13min 5sec (785 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 30 2023