Golden Girls: Luck be an old lady

[Music] blank stock is dead we grow up together she was my best friend so sorry what happened she was fighting an oil rig fire in the Gulf of Mexico she was 88 boy you forget something new every day don't you Dorothy good god you were cleaning out the garage and you asked Sophia to move us sofa don't start with me I mean she is 84 years old and you're asking her to do the work of two men it was wicker all right and the lazy boy Blanche leave her alone I'm sure she feels bad enough Thank You rose oh honey do we have any orange juice sure would you like me to pour you a glass or have Sophia come in and bring you the refrigerator enough pussycat I move that safe to the Attic like you can I have food now you'll have to excuse my mother she suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying I took an 84 year old woman and made her look like a 65 year old drag queen you look enchanting if I wasn't such a gentleman I tried to ply you with wine and take advantage of you there's a liquor store on the corner that's right must not wind up old maid must not wind up old maid now how am I gonna remember that does anybody have a pen why don't we get stuck with old maid and spinster and men get to be bachelor's and playboys I know matter house wish I knew what to do alright alright I can pick up a cue picture it Sicily 1912 picture it there we were a tired poor huddled mass eating marinara sauce out of a can picture it Sicily 1852 picture it Sicily 1914 I'm not on a wheelchair satisfies a woman it's a short story but I think it makes my point play it safe stick with the curse oh I've stayed with you all these years is everybody thinking what I'm thinking that that was a really mean thing to say as a general rule Rose you should not be the first to answer a pussycat taste this Oh bring to a near boil now listen up you weather it old Sicilian monkey I mean I spit it the name Dorothy I have no daughter I have no spit you're a horrible little person Sophia why are you up same reason Europe you're filled with anxiety I'm old you guys what are you doing up Sophia is old and I'm filled with anxiety my mistake I thought since you looked like Yoda you were also wise ha ha what ha ha you didn't hear that actually I was just trying to be polite but since you brought it up excuse you today for the very first time Blanche Devereaux is gonna reveal her true and accurate age right after you tell me your weight 119 42 coffee please it's your turn no let her stick lying about her age is the smartest thing she's done in years so what's the news how the hearing tests come out tell her what the doctors say tell her what the dogs fine okay and I need a hearing aid my isn't it time for your medication oh good I thought my buzz was wearing off Fayed Dorothy I want know what you think of my pasta pesto it's for the boss boss they'll be here any minute ah this is I'm also boiling the crown off the sink stop [Applause] try the other path it is the worst feeling in the world try 10 days without a bowel movement something [Applause] you just sit there hour after tell me about how did things go at the doctor's Sofia he said I have a body of a 40 year old dead 40 year old well let me tell you something mister 100% tip-top Mendel my daughter may be no spring chicken and her jaw might crack when she chews and she may have noticeable trouble digesting raw vegetables but one thing she's not is mental thanks mom why are you always trying to aggravate everyone to relax just so embarrassed to be seen in this whole thing don't worry Blanche the dress covers most of it visit you what about me you're dead I told you you're dead you must be sessile with a paper Blanche Devereaux age 68 68 they're almost as far off on your age as you are don't forget dead 60a Undead people gotta think they'll think it's time to be like the new town Oh nobody's ever gonna even see it everybody's gonna still think I'm 68 and dead why does she keep forgetting dead now look as for instructions Mars to be fed twice a day walk her after her second meal and don't give her anything liquid after 10 it was she's talking about me like I'm an animal you've been with a man haven't you you've been with a man haven't you this isn't going to work your little stick person has been to your sister in some primitive societies they leave their elderly out in a field for large birds to feed on that money's for my old age old age you don't leave fingerprints anymore I'm in my twilight years you're in the twilight zone hope the Indians are walking around saying how does she do it I caught this old lady assaulting a man over the last tube of preparation H the tube broken it's all over aisle seven i detained her for scooping up the rest of the ointment put in her purse yeah well big deal the other guy got away scot-free and he wriggled in it you're a very little gnome and we feed you too much was a terrible time for me you know I'd gone on an eating binge when Stan left and I put on quite a bit of weight plus I was not a 20 year old you know when you're 20 no matter what you do everything stays where it's supposed to now when you lean over it looks like somebody's let the air out of your face [Laughter] honey lean over a mirror sometime and take a look at yourself where's a mirror there's one on the tool drawer I think you better take a sedative before you alone don't be silly I look at my face all the time how different could it be leaning over oh my god Oh Dorothy why didn't you tell me about this before only on your back Blanche that way everything slides back and you look like you just had a facelift oh you're right I'm gorgeous I'm gonna have to meet men lying down I thought you did of course that way not only does your face fall back but your chest does too unfortunately it falls back anymore basta pasa anyone up for playing old maid aren't we oh excuse me um would you mind taking our picture we're gonna remember turns out it was [Laughter] [Music]

Channel: Jooj

Views: 245,395

Keywords: golden girls, sex and the city, parody, mashup, comedy, sitcom, Rue McClanahan, Bea Arthur, Betty White, Estelle Getty, Sophia

Id: c-uvME-Q3wg

Length: 10min 3sec (603 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 18 2018