- Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you, we thank you so much for bringing us here, to this house this evening, that we could come and we could worship you through song, we can worship you through your Word, and we can worship you through talking about the
things that you've done, things that you're doing, and the things that you're
going to do in our lives. As we sang just a bit ago, we want you to be the echo
of our days, our song. Lord, you're good, you're
never gonna let us down. May you be the echo of our days in the midst of every
season, every circumstance, and tonight, Lord, we pray that you would teach us, that you would teach us all that you would have us to gain through this special message that Esther's bringing to us tonight. We ask these things in Jesus' name, amen. I am so excited to introduce our speaker to you tonight. I had a privilege, a sneak peak of hearing our speaker, Esther Fleece, last night at Harvest Orange County, and she is absolutely incredible. You are gonna be blessed tonight beyond what you can imagine, so exciting. This is Esther's first time at Harvest, and just to tell you a
little bit about her, she's an international speaker and writer, we have her book tonight which she's gonna be
sharing a little bit on, No More Faking Fine:Ending the Pretending. Esther, Christianity Today says of Esther that she's of the top 50 women shaping the church and culture, and she's on CNN's five
women in religion to watch. She's worked on Focus on the Family, and is now not only speaking and writing, but she's also a CEO of her own consulting company, and she, a little more personally, was recently married to her husband Joel, who's with us tonight, and we're excited to
have both of them here. (audience applauds) Esther is no stranger
to Southern California, in fact, she used to live here, and she was in a different season of her life when she lived here before, so she's excited to be back here, sharing from that the Lord has taught her in those years and the way he's revealed himself to her in those years that she's been gone. So you're in for it girls, I'm excited for you to hear what I've already heard, and I'm excited to hear it again. So would you give a warm Harvest
welcome to Esther Fleece. (audience applauds) - Thank you for that warm welcome. It's good to be back, in Riverside. Actually, just, it's good
to be back in California where there's a bit of a breeze, and I don't know, this time around, I feel like everyone's
been really welcome, so I wish that I would
have had the opportunity to meet people from Harvest when I did live in Orange County, because I didn't have a lot of friends when I lived there the first time. It was hard to meet
people for some reason. So, the Lord gives you
another opportunity, though. I want to, before I begin, thank Pastor Greg and Cathe for their faithfulness to the Lord. You know, a lot of times in scripture, it talks about how the apostles and the disciples would go to a place, and they would say, "I've heard about you, "I've heard about the
things that you've done "in the Lord and through the Lord," and I have heard about Harvest. You have a wonderful reputation of faithfulness to the Lord. Tiffany, you're, and your team here has been so welcoming, and they have put on
these last three weeks, I've watched online, but they've put on these last three weeks because they love you and they want to invest in women. Not every church invests in women. So will you guys just give
them a round of applause and thank them. (audience applauds) Thank you, thank you
for pouring into women. So it is truly an honor
to be here with you. I launched my first book, No More Faking Fine, in January. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever done, and a lot of people, when you write a book, will come up to you and say, "Oh, I really want to write a book," and I am not yet to the process where I'm encouraging other
people to write a book 'cause it was really difficult. It's really difficult
putting your story out there. But you know, it's so interesting, those things in our
story that we don't like, I learned that minimizing my story doesn't bring God any more glory. There was just decades that I lived that I thought, if I
just minimize the pain, minimize the doubt, didn't talk about the confusion, pretended like things were okay, if I just rejoiced always, prayed continually, give
thanks in all things, and I was just fine, then I would somehow be
bringing glory to God. While I was striving to
live a good Christian life, and I think, from the outside in, people would say I was
living a good Christian life, my heart was broken. My heart was broken, I had ignored abuse
that I had gone through. I had minimized the pain of abandonment. There was so much pain, and I was stuck. I had a little bit of a different message last night for Orange County because I believe tonight, God has laid on my heart tonight that for the women of Riverside, he wants you to be unstuck. Some of you have come in
tonight with heavy burdens. I commend you for even
coming to church, thank you. (audience applauds) Yeah, absolutely, thank you. I want to encourage you that, if you are even in church, you are not as stuck as you think you are, you're going in the right direction. You know, I couldn't believe the traffic, I mean, hello, talk about some
good prayer time in the car, I couldn't believe the
traffic coming into Riverside. Sometimes, you know, the
GPS will take you off track, and you will have to take a little detour, and you'll have to backtrack and go the side route
to keep going forward, but you're still going to the destination. Some of us in this room are in a little bit of a detour. Life hasn't really worked
out how we've planned. Our Plan A isn't in motion, and a lot of us, when that happens, we abandon the faith. Do any of you know people like that, or have you done that yourself? If there's an unanswered prayer, and you think, okay,
God didn't come through, or I didn't hear right, or I went through this trial, or I prayed for healing
and I didn't get it, I'm gonna walk away from the faith. Well, we are missing a critical language that I want us to study
tonight as women of God. So would you pray with me that God would open our
eyes and our ears and our, even minds of understanding, that our brokenness is something that God is deeply attracted to. I want to pray for all of us, because I'm broken up here, too, and I don't have all the answers, so pray for me as I pray for you. Father, we come to you tonight, and I am asking for an
anthem of authenticity in this room tonight, Lord, that you would peel off
the layers of our hearts, that you would really kind of even, take some of those scabs off, and that's so scary to pray, but Lord, I believe that
you are a divine healer, and I ask that you would heal
our hearts here tonight, Lord, that we would not settle for a shallow or a superficial faith, that we would desire truth in our innermost being, Lord. Please meet with us tonight, transform us tonight. Lord, thank you for these women. It's in Jesus' holy
name we pray this, amen. You see, I am not good at Spanish at all. Are there any Spanish
speaking people in, yes. Yes, a lot, raise your hand, lots of Spanish speaking people. You know for years, I mean, I took four years of
Spanish in high school and all I got was, "Hola," and then I went to college and my first two years, I had to take Spanish and I got, "Como se dice," "Como se," so I would just say that all the time. I don't even know how I made it through
those years of Spanish, but it just was a language that didn't come naturally to me, and I was very discouraged. I thought, I'm not very smart, you know, if I can't
even understand Spanish, how am I'm gonna take the
gospel to the nations? If I don't get Spanish,
I'm not gonna get German, I'm not gonna get French. So I just started disqualifying myself. Like, if my mind can't
even comprehend Spanish, then I'm not going to be
able to preach the gospel in other countries that are
Spanish speaking countries. But you know, so many of
us in this room do that. "Well, I've gone through a divorce, "I can't lead in ministry now." I haven't, I'm just saying
we say that, you know. Or, what's another lie
that we've believed? You know, "I'm too broken," "I'm damaged goods," "What I come from, if people really knew, "I couldn't minister." What are those lies that are deep down that you believe that disqualify you? Because all throughout scripture, I see such broken people and people that have come from brokenness, and God is not embarrassed
to call them his children. I want to introduce you to a language, and it's called lament. It's not really a common
word that we use nowadays. So I even want to define it for you. Then I want to talk about how significant it is if we do not incorporate
the language of lament into our Christian vocabulary. All the world is lamenting. You don't even have to
be a Christian to lament. Because what lament is, is in it's, it's an expression of grief. It is an expression of anguish. It is a cry deep down in your heart. It is the thing that hurts inside of you that you don't even want to express when people ask for prayer requests 'cause you're hurting or you're dissappointed. It's the thing that is
really how you're feeling, you're not really fine, you really are hurt, or you really are let down, or you're really in despair, but you'll minimize it. "Oh, but God is good." Really, when you look
throughout scripture, the people of God didn't
have to minimize their pain. The first lament that we see in scripture, I believe is in the book of Genesis. There were two brothers, Cain and Abel, and Cain killed his brother Abel. It was certainly an unjust murder, and it says in scripture that Abel's blood cried out to the Lord. Abel's blood lamented to God and God heard the lament. If God hears the lament of blood from somebody who has just been murdered, do you think that he
hears your lament, too? We continue to go throughout scripture, and we see that Hannah,
in I Samuel, lamented, for a child. She was barren and she was in distress and she mourned. You know, in that culture,
in the Jewish culture, they were not afraid to show outward expressions of grief. You see throughout the Old Testament where they put on sackcloth and ashes. They would wear black, they would be so, just discouraged, and they were still the people of God. How many of us have walked into church with the sackcloth and
ashes, and felt welcome? Or do we put our lipstick
on, and our happy face, and minimize our pain thinking that that's somehow what God is asking of us? We continue to go through scripture and we look at II Samuel. I've heard that your church has recently been going
through the life of David. If you look at the life of David, you see that he was pursued my Saul, who was anointed king. In the middle of that pursuit, David had opportunities to take
justice into his own hands, 'cause Saul was after him, Saul wanted him dead. Some theologians say it was seven or maybe even eight years that David went through stalking in his relationship with Saul. Some theologians think that Saul might have had a mental illness. David was living through that. Have any of you in this room lived with somebody that
has a mental illness? I have, it's very difficult. When Saul died and David got word, you would have thought David would have celebrated. It was finally his turn to be king. Finally, he would have
relief from the stalking. You, I would have wanted to throw a party. I'm free, right? Not only does David express grief, and does David express lament and emotion, but David commands all of Judah to lament. Not only does blood lament, that's why we care for the
pre-born children, by the way, not only do women lament, men are to lead in lament. Where has this vocabulary gone in our Christian language? Turn with me in your Bibles to Luke. We're gonna look at Luke chapter 19. I want to share with you
two passages tonight. We're gonna start in verse 37. Jesus is entering here. It says in verse 37, "Then, as he was now drawing near "the descent of the Mount of Olives, "the whole multitude of the disciples "began to rejoice and praise God "with a loud voice, "for all the mighty works "that they had seen, saying, "'Blessed is this King "'who has come in the name of the Lord. "'Peace in heaven and
glory in the highest.'" I want to pause there right now. It is so good to praise God. It is so good to welcome God. We're taught how to pray in scripture, and we start by saying, "Our Father who art in heaven, "hallowed be your name." Praising God, welcoming God, adoring God, is a good way to pray. But that's one way to connect with God. Let's keep reading. Verse 39, "And some of the Pharisees "called to him from the crowd. "'Teacher, rebuke your disciples.' "But he answered and said to them, "'I tell you, that if
these should keep silent, "'the stones would immediately cry out.'" Verse 41, "Now as he drew near, "he saw the city and he
wept over it, saying, "'If you had known, even you, "'especially in this, your day, "'the things that made for you peace, "'but now they're hidden from your eyes.'" You see, we welcome God with praise, and yet Jesus is lamenting. We welcome God with praise, we give him our adoration, and yet Jesus is lamenting. Jesus had an unending desire to bring peace to the city of Jerusalem. He still has that desire. It says in the book of Psalms to pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Jesus is letting us into his lament. He wept, and so it makes me think. If Jesus is letting me into his emotions, why am I keeping my emotions from him? Why am I tidying up my feelings before I go to the Father? Why am I faking fine, if
Jesus wasn't fine here? Everyone wanted to have a party, and Jesus wept. You know, one of the
most difficult stories that I open the book with is a story when I was a
child in the courtroom. My biological parents were going through a very tragic divorce, and I was called as a character witness to several of their court cases. It was very difficult. Many of the cases, I would have
to be in a quarantined room because they didn't want
anyone influencing me in what I was gonna say. I still remember those rooms to this day. I almost wish that I had
this language of lament when I was a kid. But I walked down the
aisle of the courtroom this particular case, and I didn't know what the case was about, but I knew that my mother was on one side and my father was on the other side. I walked down the aisle of the courtroom and I was very scared, and I was very sad. I was very jealous that my mom and dad had somebody sitting next to them and I didn't have anyone
to walk down with me. I sat up on the witness stand and I was a 10-year-old girl, but I remember distinctly that I wanted to appear strong. I remember even sitting up
a little bit straighter, wanting to show that I was just smart, and I was a good listener, almost like when you
pay attention in class. They began asking me questions. I was still scared, but I wanted to appear strong. My father's lawyer began
wrestling with this plastic bag, and leaned over to my father and said, "Are you sure you want to do this?" He said, "Oh yeah, oh
yeah, I want to do this." In a moment, I realized
it was my Girl Talk Secret Diary journal that they were pulling
out of this plastic bag. I knew instantly that my father had taken my journal from me. I didn't know what it was
doing in the courtroom. But as they brought it to the bench, and it had a sticker on
it that said Exhibit B, they asked me to read my diary in front of the courtroom. You know, I made a vow in that moment that I would never write again. When we don't have the language of lament we stay stuck. I was so overcome with emotion, and I didn't know how to process it. I was only a girl. I fell down and I began to weep. In a moment I really needed a defender, I really needed a comforter, somebody to pick me up
maybe, hold me, hug me, get me off the stand, take me anywhere but there. The judge stood up and with a very stern voice he said, "You need to suck it up." Yeah, where were you guys, I could have used that in the moment. (audience laughs). Thanks for that. He said, "You need to suck it up. "You need to answer the
questions with a yes or a no." Apparently I was saying, "yeah," and that wasn't allowed. He said, "You need to answer the questions "with a yes or no, "you need to suck it up." And I did, I did. I lived the next two decades of my life sucking it up and faking fine because I thought that that's
what God expected of me. What would happen if we removed all the laments that are in scripture? We would miss an entire
book of Lamentations. One of the most famous hymns is Great is Your Faithfulness. It's actually my favorite hymn. Great is your faithfulness,
Lord unto thee, and it's from the book of Lamentations. That scripture is good and
that scripture is true, and we need to sing that scripture, but what about all the
rest of the chapters that are a lament? What would happen if we
lost the book of Jeremiah, or even if we took away
the weeping prophets that are all throughout scripture? Jeremiah was called a weeping prophet. Where are the weeping prophets of the day? Why do we think that we
have to fake fine in church when the book of Psalms if full of lament language? The laments of the book of Psalms are almost too many to count. David will say, "How long, oh Lord, "am I'm gonna be in this distress? "How long will I be in this agony? "Lord, how long will you
hide your face from me, "where are you? "What have I done to
deserve this treatment?" What are your laments here today? And did you know that not only
are they allowed in church, but you can sing them to your God. As I began studying
this language of lament, I realized that lament was not
only an expression of grief, it was an expression of grief that God met me in. I don't see where God turns away the brokenhearted in scripture. He's deeply attracted
to you in that state. You know, my home life
continued to get more difficult. My mother remarried shortly
after their divorce, my father was taken away, spent time in and out of jail, he had a severe mental illness. My stepfather had an affair, I found out about it,
shared that information, he left the family, and then my mother began to hate me. For those of you in this room who say, "How could a
mother hate their child," scripture lets us into that limit, too. That even if your mother
forsakes you at her breast, the Lord will be near to you. The Lord will receive you. He is so compassionate. The Lord adopted me at an early age, and by his grace he set me in families, and I didn't have to go
to the foster care system. I'm so thankful for
those of you in this room who are fostering. Actually, is anyone in
this room fostering? You are in the front? Thank you, thank you for that. (audience applauds) God is going to bring
lamenting children to you, and your job is to not fix them, it's just to listen. There's so many things that we
could study tonight, ladies, there's so many things. We could study how to come through lament, we could study things not to say to people who are lamenting. I'm sure we all have stories. We could study how to lament and honor God through that. But I want to take you to
one more passage tonight and that's found in the book of John. So please turn with me to John chapter 11. We're gonna read another
lament from Jesus, because surely if Jesus
lets us into his laments, we can let him into ours. We're gonna start reading in verse 28. John chapter 11, verse 28, "And when she had said these things, "she went her way "and secretly called
Mary her sister saying, "'The teacher has come
and is calling for you.' "As soon as she heard that, "she rose quickly and came to him. "Now Jesus had not yet come into the town "but was in the place
where Martha met him. "Then the Jews who were
with her in the house "and comforting her, "when they saw that Mary rose up quickly "and went out, followed her saying, "'She is going to the
tomb to weep there.'" Verse 32, "Then when Mary came
where Jesus was and saw him, "she fell down at his feet saying to him, "'Lord, if you had been here, "'my brother would not have died.' "Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, "and the Jews who came with her weeping, "he groaned in his
spirit and was troubled." I want to pause here, because
this is fascinating to me. Verse 33, "When Jesus saw her weeping "and the Jews who came with her weeping," we have to pause right there, because we are told in scripture that we are to weep with those who weep. This was not a foreign
concept to the Jewish people, but this is a foreign
concept in our churches. It needs, we need to get this right. We weep with those who weep, we don't fix them. We weep with those who weep, we don't offer them a theology lesson. We weep with those who weep because those who are weeping need to be reminded that God is with them. Just much easier than
we make it out to be. I used to be so fixated on
having the right scriptures for somebody that was in a trial. How do I bring them through that, how do I help them? What am I supposed to say, how do I do it, how do I fix it? You're not the fixer. You're not. It takes a load off, actually. But we have this call as Christians to weep with those who weep. We much prefer celebrating, right. Take me to Fashion Island and Drybar and I'll take the girls out to lunch and we'll have a great day and we'll celebrate. But where are the weeping
parties in our churches? You know, it's so hard for me to go to Mother's Day
services to this day. It's so painful when they
have all the moms stand up, and when everyone posts on Instagram all the pictures of the relationships they have with their moms. It's just really hard, and I really feel like I've forgiven her, and I really have come a
long way in my healing. It's still hard. How can we be a church, how can we be a small group, how can we be a Bible study leader that makes space for the laments as well as the celebrations? Let's continue reading. I'm gonna pick up still at verse 33, there's just so much in it, I could talk about every word. "Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, "and the Jews who came with her weeping, "he groaned in the
spirit and was troubled." We're gonna pause there, because Jesus laments with us. You know, I, years after my abandonment, years after my abuse,
I went to counseling, and it was one of the hardest
things I ever had to do. Only the strong go to counseling. You know, I was going through
a really difficult season, it had felt like a long, kind of prolonged
suffering years of lament, and I said to my counselor, "All I can do is read the book of Psalms, "I feel like such a weak Christian," even though, prase God, I was still in the Word,
I was still praying. I just didn't know lamenting
prayers were acceptable. He said, "Esther, you're lamenting, "that's why you're
connecting with the Psalms. "You're listening to the laments. "So I want you to go home "and your homework tonight "is to write out your laments to God." I was like, you know,
do I need to tell him, I'm spiritually mature, like, I don't have time for that. I'm not gonna be an ungrateful Christian. He was like, "No, really,
that's your homework tonight "is to go home and write your laments, "and then bring 'em back "and we'll talk about 'em in the morning." I'm like this guy is, you know, getting a lot of money to tell me to do something
I'm not gonna do. You know, I went home,
and I just kept thinking, no, I'm supposed to be anxious
for nothing in scripture, I'm supposed to rejoice always, I'm supposed to pray continually. I was using all these scriptures to reinforce that I didn't need lament, that I was just super spiritual. I mean, really, if you think about it, I was thinking I was more
spiritual than Jesus, 'cause Jesus himself lamented, okay. I tried to go to bed, and I thought, I'm not gonna have this homework done, and I couldn't sleep, it was one o'clock, it was two o'clock, it was three o'clock, finally it was like, this is ridiculous. I turned the light on and I was, I just cried out to God, how long, Lord, how long are you gonna hide your face from me? I didn't even plan on
sharing this tonight, but I think somebody in the room needs it. I want to let you know
what my lament looked like. It was, "Lord, are you ever gonna be "kind to me again? "Did I lose your favor? "What's happening? "I'm trying so hard to honor you "and things keep going wrong. "You know, I thought you had
really good plans for me, Lord, "to prosper me, and I'm
struggling to meet my bills, okay. "That doesn't seem like
it's in scripture." Different definition of prosperity, that would be another talk. (audience laughs) I was crying out to God. This number 77 kept
popping up into my mind, and it was really annoying, and I'm not good at math, and so it was like, I
don't see numbers usually. All I knew was to go to Psalm 77. After crying out to God and so frustrated, wondering why I would even waste my time with this language of lament when I'm supposed to be a happy Christian, or so I thought, I opened Psalm 77, and verse one says, "I cried to God with my voice, "to God with my voice, "and he gave ear to me. "In the day of my trouble,
I sought the Lord. "My hand was stretched out
at night without ceasing. "My soul refused to be comforted. "I remembered God and I was troubled. "I complained, and my
spirit was overwhelmed. "You hold my eyelids open, "I am so troubled that I cannot speak. "I consider the days of old,
the years of ancient times, "I call to remembrance
my song in the night. "I meditate within my heart, "and my spirit makes diligent search, "will the Lord cast me off forever, "and will he be favorable no more? "Has his mercy ceased forever? "Has his promised failed forever more? "Has God forgotten to be gracious to me, "has he in anger shut
up his tender mercies?" I realized that every single
lament that I was praying was already written in his scroll. I experienced firsthand that God meets with the brokenhearted, he saves those who are crushed in spirit. So we go back to this scripture, because I just can't get over it, John 11. We see that not only are
the Jewish people weeping with their friend, we see that Jesus has groaned in spirit because he sees people weeping. "Then he said to them, "'Lord come and see.'" Verse 35, "Jesus wept." For the sake of just assuming you've heard a sermon about how that might be the
shortest verse in the Bible, I want you to look at the next line. "Then the Jews said,
'See how he loved him.'" See how he loved him. Jesus' tears were a testimony. Your tears are a testimony. Don't you dare wipe them away. Don't you dare be ashamed of them. The God of the Bible is the only God that not only promises to one day wipe away the tears from your eyes, but he actually bottles them. He has purpose for your pain. He doesn't abandon you in your suffering. Allah doesn't offer you that. There's not another religion that is going to offer you an intimate God who groans in his spirit when you are in distress, and that he doesn't leave you there. He weeps. His tools are, his tears, I'm sorry, are evidence that he loves us, and your tears might be evidence to a hurting world that
he loves them, too. So I want to ask you tonight, if Jesus' love for you includes lament, do we, and I include myself, do we have a faith in this room that has room for lament? If Jesus laments for us, will we have a long suffering faith that when the trial comes, not if, when the trial comes, we know that we can endure, and we can persevere, and we can get through it, and it's not gonna be easy, and it's not gonna be fixed overnight, but we can persevere because we have this language of lament to stay in relationship with God when the trial comes. You know, after that courtroom scene, I sucked it up and I faked fine, and I really saw any form
of love as abandonment. I was really fearful of love. As God continued to heal my heart and I was learning this
language of lament, you know, it's very much
like learning a new language. You are not going to
just get it overnight. It's going to take time. It's like learning Spanish. Give it time, doesn't
mean you're a failure. But it's uncomfortable at first. As I was learning this language of lament and as I was getting unstuck because a lament will
help you get unstuck, I was realizing all these
vows that I put in place where I should have lamented. You know, when my father
embarrassed me in court, I thought, "I am never gonna write again." But God had called me to write a book. You know, when my stepdad left, I thought, "I'm never gonna trust a man, "men are never gonna be faithful, "you cannot trust 'em." I should have lamented. When my mother left me, I thought, "All women are manipulators. "They try to control
you, they're unsteady. "I'm not gonna be close
with women, I'm just not." Uh, look at, we're in
a room of women, okay. Good thing I got that lament out, right. If we do not lament, we will stay stuck. If we do not lament, we are going to have a
laundry list of vows, and those vows are not made with the God of the universe who sent his son to set you free. Those are vows made with
the enemy of your soul and they are deadly, they are so deadly. The vow that was most
difficult for me to overcome still to this day, I was in church on Sunday even crying, asking for prayer, that I still need help with this vow, that just, the vow of love isn't good, love is dangerous, love will hurt you, love will eventually let you down. So as I was working
through the vow years ago, I lamented a past relationship that never came to be. I felt like God had asked me to pray for this man for years. Surely he wouldn't ask me to pray for a single man if I'm single if it wasn't my husband, right? Well, no, that's another talk, but he did, and it was really difficult. After I lamented, seven years later, that that relationship never came to be, I went to study at Oxford, England. God was renewing my faith again, and God was restoring
my definition of love. A lot of times we need
time with God to lament and retrain our minds of what he says things are. It's very confusing in the culture, too. I mean, if you're on Twitter, you're gonna get messages constantly: this is what love is. That doesn't mean that that's
what love is, actually. It's, and it's actually the opposite, so if they're Tweeting
something in the culture, just assume that it's the
opposite in the Word of God. But I was renewing my mind, I was trying to believe what God says about love and that it's good and that marriage is good. I met this guy named Joel. I was actually able to receive his pursuing love towards me because I had already lamented. I didn't have all these vows that were getting in the way of letting him get to know me and letting my heart be open to the possibility of love. So 20 years after that courtroom scene, more than 20 years after
that courtroom scene, I chose to love. It was healing. I love you (laughs). And lest you think for a second that I'm telling you that a happy ending comes
in a circumstantial change, I am not a teacher like that. Joel and I were on our honeymoon, and my heart was being healed in a new way and I was experiencing God's
love for me in a new way. I was letting somebody know me. We got word that my
biological father died. Just like in the highest of highs, and just one phone call, one phone call can just resurface stuff, you know. Just take you from being really happy, really grateful, praising the Lord, welcoming him, to lament. It's been seven months, that was seven months ago, and I can say that I'm actually grateful for God's timing, though
I don't understand it. Because God gave me a community
within marriage to lament, and I didn't have to
stay stuck in my grief. You are here tonight
in a wonderful church. God has set up in his Word, that scripture says that
his church is a family. You don't have to be married to lament in community. Many of you actually in this room need to lament hurt in your own marriage, and God's given you a family
to do that through the church. But I needed to let someone in, and it was my husband, who was helping me work that lament out. God, why didn't I have a
father who cared for me? Why was I so hard to love? Was it me? God, this hasn't been easy. Why the timing of this, Lord? But I just think that some of us need that message in church, that these emotions can exist at the same time, that there can be room
for deep, beautiful love, and you can simultaneously be lamenting. It's a mystery of the faith. But as I look through scripture, I realize that those
verses I was clinging to about rejoicing always, that many times, the
writers of those verses were writing from prison, that when it said be content, that they had just gone through beatings. They persevered through affliction. They went through very difficult things. They didn't pretend everything was fine. They actually boasted in their weaknesses Paul talks about, I've been shipwrecked more than you have, I've been beaten more than you have. Yet God is good. So lament is a language not just for the hurting, not just for those in distress, and there are those in
distress in this room, but lament is a language for the faithful because lament is a language for Jesus. So lament will be a language for me. I want to just spend some time in closing, praying for one another. This part can sometimes
feel uncomfortable, because when you are hurting, you don't like drawing
attention to yourself, it's very uncomfortable. I remember when I was going
through lamenting years, I would sneak into a church where I was very well-known in the church and I would wear a hat and I would sit in the back and I would come late
and I would leave early because I did not want to be noticed. So I understand that
when you are in distress, there's a little bit of embarrassment, you don't want people to see, or you don't want to get asked questions. We're throwing that aside tonight, okay. Because God meets us where we're at, not where we pretend to be, and not even where we were yesterday, or where we want to be
five years from now, like right now. So this is going to be
just a family moment with us sisters. I might not do this perfectly, and churches are not always
gonna do this perfectly. You have to have, really, a lot of grace for one another when you're lamenting and when you're with the lamenter, okay. But if anyone in this room is in a season of distress, has a weight that is so heavy on them, needs prayer, feels like God hasn't been hearing them, hasn't felt the presence of God, doesn't even know how to
pray a lamenting prayer, is hurting in general, please stand up. I want to give you a moment to stand up. Thank you, really, one person, that's it. Thank you, two, three, four, thank you. (audience applauds) So sorry for your distress. Please stay standing,
please stay standing. Thank you, thank you. You are exactly where
you're supposed to be. You are, you are moving forward in faith, do you realize that? Do you realize that laments are prayers that he doesn't despise? Anyone else that's in a lamenting season, kind of what I call, hurting? Thank you for standing,
please stay standing. I want to ask those in those in this room, if you are willing to go
on this journey with God, to see throughout scripture that lament is woven
throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament, that God laments, that Jesus laments, that the Holy Spirit can be grieved, and this needs to be a
language of me, as a believer, if you are willing to say, "I am going to be okay with lament, "I want to learn this, "I want to learn how to do this well," I want you to stand up now. If you are willing to say, "I want to lament, I want to learn this, "I want to learn this, "I want to be a safe place "for a lamenting person," oh, I'm so thankful that you're standing. I'm so thankful for this church. I want to ask, I just wanna
give us a minute, two minutes, to go to somebody that was near you that was standing who's in distress, and I want you to pray for them. There's just really not a formula to this. We can ask that God would
comfort them in distress. That's a beautiful prayer
to somebody's who's hurting. We could ask, "God, please
let your presence be known." We could pray, "God,
please be near to them, "please reveal yourself to them, "comfort them, be what they need, Lord." But I want you, as
women, who just stood up, to go near a woman who stood that was in distress, and I want to give you a moment to pray for one another. So we're gonna do that, and then I'll bring us
back and we'll close, okay. So, let's pray. And so Father, we cry out to you tonight, and we say, Abba, Father, thank you for, thank you for receiving
every single emotion that we experience, that we don't even sometimes
know how to process. Thank you for receiving it as prayer. You are such a kind God, thank you. Father, thank you for this church, that there was hundreds of
women who stood and said, "I will stand with a lamenting person," thank you that you meet
us in our distress, and that you bring us
to a new song of praise. I pray that for this house, that this would be a safe
place for lamenting people, but that would bring this house to a new song of praise as well. In Jesus' name we pray this, amen. We can take a seat, and
I'm just, in closing, gonna talk to one more group of women. Thank you for that time of ministry. You know, it's such an honor to come into a new house and meet new family members, but sometimes it's really important that you know that you have people here that are regularly wanting to meet with you and pour out and minister to you and be with you. This is a safe place to do that. There's just, in closing, I can't leave without talking about this one last lament, and it's, it's actually, I will ask God when I get there, but, 'cause he hasn't answered me yet, but I think it's his favorite one. I think it's actually, the reason I think that this
is God's favorite lament is because when somebody says this lament, it actually says, he throws a whole party in heaven for this lament. Like, that is how, he is, just sent his
son to die on a cross, and when he hears this lament, it moves him to celebrate a new life, and that is the lament called save me. It's just really one of
the most easy prayers in the Bible. Sometimes our pride really gets
in the way of praying this. You know, even as a Christian, I need to be praying, "Save me, God, "from my distress, save me from myself, "save me from sin." But there are those, in the room, perhaps, who have never prayed, "Save me." I want you to know that
this is a courageous prayer that is worth celebrating. There is no shame in this prayer. So if you are here tonight, and you feel like you are
at the end of your rope, and you didn't know that this God actually cares to meet
you in your distress and will bottle your tear when you cry and actually will listen to cry out, cares for you in your pain, and if you want to say, "Save me, God," I want you to stand right now, and we want to celebrate you. We want to celebrate you, if there's anyone in the room who wants to say, "Save me God, "I can't do this on my own. "I want to know you, God." Thank you in the back, we have
two, three, four in the back, five women, thank you. Save me, yes, he hears you, he sees you, that's the
most beautiful prayer. Thank you sister. Oh, thank you, so grateful. (audience applauds) Stay standing, we celebrate you, we celebrate this, this is so healthy. It is so healthy to be in need. It is so healthy to say, "Save me God." I want to pray for you,
I want to pray with you. So stay standing, and
women who are sitting, pray with me for the
women that are around you. We're gonna just pray this prayer. God, save me, help me in distress. Lord, I pray with my
sisters here standing. Thank you for seeing them, that they are crying out, "Save me, "save me in my distress, "meet with me, help me God. Father, I pray that you would see them, crying out to you, that you would receive their prayer, Lord, and that you would save them. That you would stoop down, that you would change their
eternal destiny, Lord, that you would begin this
conversation with them of prayer, that you meet them in their distress, that you comfort them, God. This is such a beautiful
prayer to you, God, would you affirm this in their spirit, that this is the right
decision to follow you, that they can always stay
in relationship with you from here on out. Those of you who are
standing, pray with me, God, save me, God I need you. God save me from my distress, save me from myself, save me from my sin. Pray this with me, God, forgive me, I want to know you. I want to walk with you. I want to learn how to
take my emotions to you. God, send me people to teach me, to help me, to walk with you. But thank you for sending Jesus to die on the cross to save me. Thank you that he weeps with me. Help me to know Jesus more. It's in your name with
pray this, Jesus, amen. (audience applauds) Thank you, Lord. It has been a privilege to be with you. Lament will always be part of our language here on earth, but for those of you who just stood, for those of you in the room who are believers in Jesus Christ, lament is not your final destination. He will wipe away your tears. He will stop the pain. He will, he will. He will be with you. (audience applauds) Until that day, when I see you again, and I can't wait, until that day, may he lead every single one of our laments to praise,
in Jesus' name, amen.
