Get Your Ex Back From a Rebound Relationship (Destroy the Rebound)

hey there this is clay with relationship inner game.com and today you devious little devil we have got the right video for you because today we're going to be talking about how to destroy your exes rebound relationship I know we're getting absolutely sinister over here but in this video we're going to be talking about what you can do to kind of get that rebound relationship out of the way okay and you know we we don't really advocate you know reverse psychology or ninja mind games or anything like that so this might be something that it is a little bit more interesting to you than that kind of stuff because I don't think most people really want to think of themselves as the kind of person that's gonna you know like hack into somebody's email and you know break up with them pretending that they're somebody else like I don't think anyone wants to do that I'm thinking I was gonna like hold their head up high go yeah that was me I hacked into my ex's email I'm proud of that like I don't think that's really anybody out there so uh let's go about how to do this the right way right you can still be devious but you can have integrity too okay so the very first thing that you need to do in order to destroy your ex is rebound relationship is you need to be better than the old you okay now I'm not saying that you need to be better than your ex is rebound partner but you need to be better than the old version of you okay so your ex broke up with you right it happened your ex broke up with you for some reason they left they're not here right I don't know why I don't know what happened I don't know it didn't happen but they broke up with you and for whatever reason that person that you in the past they broke up with wasn't cutting it and so if you want to get back together with them then and if you also want to get the rebound relationship out of the way you need to be better than that person that they broke up with now that's a little bit counterintuitive you're probably thinking I need be better than my ex is rebound but no you just need to be better than the version of you that they broke up with that was yesterday or two weeks ago or two months ago or two years ago you have to be a better person than the person that they broke up with okay so I don't know why they broke up with you but whatever it is you've got to tighten that up okay you've got to tighten that up and get that in tip-top shape okay and the reason why you want to be better than the old you rather than your exes rebound is what a behavioral social psychologist something like that named Dan Ariely called the decoy effect so people have a very difficult time comparing very different things right is an mm better than a motorcycle I don't know they're two different right but is a blue mm no I did let's say is a peanut butter mmm better than a milk chocolate mmm or a motorcycle right and suddenly you know your mind focuses on the two mmm because you can kind of think about that versus the motorcycle motor so it was just weird it's different right and so that's kind of what's going on the whole decoy effect when it comes to you being better than the old version of yourself so what's really happening is your X is going to be unconsciously comparing the rebound partner with the you that they broke up with with the you that you are now so you got it your ex is going to conscious a sort of unconsciously focus on you versus the you they broke up with and the the new rebound person is just going to sort of fade away into the background and they're just gonna be focusing on the two versions of you and if you can just get them to choose the version of you that is the person right now and not the version of yous is the person they broke up with then you're pretty much good you've got the decoys I've taken care of you can go ahead and look up more about the decoy effect if you really want to know more about it but this is what we've advised our clients on before it's worth amazingly well in the past so you can trust that that's kind of what what's going to be working here okay the second thing that you need to do in order to destroy your ex's rebound relationship is that you have to not become a petty and jealous person right so you're going to probably have every instinct in the world out there to sort of you know set your lasers on vaporize and have them locked in on your ex's rebound you're going to want to say man that guy is such a jerk that woman's such a they have no idea what they're talking about look at them they they don't make any money they're ugly they don't take care of themselves there are careers a mess whatever right you're going to come up with these things but you have to not communicate that to your ex because that's just going to come across as petty and it's going to come across as you being jealous okay now you want to you want to keep this stuff to yourself and don't be trying to destroy that person don't be trying to destroy their reputation to be trying to destroy the way your ex sees them okay because really what's going to happen is it's just going to put you in a bad light and you're actually just going to see you in a bad light okay and you're going to be like look at look you're like spreading rumors about this person you're talking bad about this person like what does that say about you right and so don't play that game now your ex is rebound in my play that game with you and that's fine is just going to backfire on them if they try to you know trash talk you or something so don't worry about that but you don't want to play that game because that's going to hurt you in the long run okay the third thing that you want to do to be able to destroy your ex's rebound relationship is you want to be friends with your ex yeah you want to be in the friend zone okay so this is kind of controversial but the friend zone doesn't exist between you and your ex it really doesn't now the friend zone does exist in dating circumstances in the in you know like situations where maybe you go out and you meet somebody and you've never been in a relationship before and for any number of reasons that person just isn't attracted to you ever like that's totally feasible but if you and your ex have ever been in a romantic relationship where you know you've loved each other you've maybe been intimate with one another you've done all sorts of romantic things with one another you don't have to worry about being in the friend zone your ex is never going to see you as a friend okay really your ex is always going to be able to unconsciously remember on those times when the two of you were close and the two of you we're in love with each other when the two of you were intimate with each other when the two of you were doing all sorts of things that friends don't do is one another right that's not going to be able to get out of their mind and that's always going to be in the back of their mind so you really don't have to worry about your ex and you being friends okay promise you this I have never once seen somebody's ex put them in the friend zone and it's actually been like a real legitimate friend zone what you're actually doing when you're agreeing to be friends with your ex is you are giving your ex a damn good excuse to spend time with you because what's really going to happen is your ex isn't a rebound relationship and you call them up and say hey what's going on you want to get here for coffee and catch up I'm gonna be like I don't know should I really get together with you for coffee like you know my new partner over here it might get kind of jealous like you know me getting together with my ex for coffee I don't know if that's really a good idea and what you're doing is you're giving them the opportunity to tell themselves oh it's okay I can get together with you for coffee because we're just friends got it you're giving them an excuse to spend time with you you give me an excuse to keep spend time with you so that you can build up that relationship between the two of you and that's never going to happen if you are unwilling to be friends with them if you are unwilling to put yourself in the mythical non-existent friendzone okay because I promise you the friendzone does not exist in this circumstance okay and the fourth saying that you need to do to destroy your ex's rebound relationship is to focus on the connection between you and your ex and not the outcome okay so a lot of people want to get back together with their ex even if their axe isn't in a rebound relationship they focus on the outcome they focus on that moment when they're holding hands with their now walking through the park and there's a fountain and it's like really romantic and the sun is shining and there's birds singing and everything and they sit down on a bench and they say would you want to get back together with me and have another relationship and their ex starry-eyed says I thought you'd never ask and you kiss and it's all wonderful and you take out your phone right then and there and log into Facebook and update your relationship status because dammit that's where real relationships happen is on Facebook right and I know that a lot of people focus on that but really what you want to do is focus on the quality of the connection between the two of you because the outcome if you focus on the outcome and trying to make that outcome happen you're going to be essentially leapfrogging over that thing that you need to focus on in order to get there which is the connection and if you focus on the emotional connection between you and your ex then the outcome will naturally arise so if you focus on the emotional connection that you're having with your ex you're doing the right thing that's why it's a really good idea to put yourself in the friend zone so that you have that space and that time to focus on the emotional connection between you and your ex so in terms of focusing on the emotional connection you want to talk about and do things like we talked about in you know several of our previous videos on this channel advanced relational skills positive interactions all of that stuff I'm not going to go into it here because we've talked about it ad nauseam in many of the other videos and you can also go ahead and check out our website relationship inner game.com and you can sign up for our newsletter there too you know get more help with this kind of stuff if that's something that you're like whoa what's that right step one you're probably needing to go over there and sign up for the newsletter right this relationship inner game.com just sign up right over there you can do it I believe in you okay so you definitely want to be focusing on the connection rather than the outcome of getting back together rather than the outcome of destroying your ex's rebound relationship because I promise you if you and your ex have a stronger emotional connection with one another then your ex has with their rebound partner then the rebound relationship is toast it's done like all your ex needs is a good excuse to break up or a good reason to break up or just maybe a little bit of you know reassurance on your part that you're going to be there for them if they break up with this other person right but that's not going to happen unless you have a stronger connection with them than they have with their rebound partners so you really really want to focus on the connection okay and the fifth and final thing that you can do to destroy your ex's rebound relationship is to add strategic times apply composure okay so you don't want to do this all the time you want to do this at very specific times in the process right they'll be coming times when your ex is like doing a pressure they can tell that you're getting a good connection with them they can tell where things are going they can tell they're falling back in love with you again and it's putting them in between you know a rock and a hard place at the same time they know that they just don't have that with their rebound partner they know they have it with you and they're just like ah what do i do what do I do like I don't want to break up with this rebound person like I just went through a breakup with you and now I feel silly going through this breakup like what if I break up with this person and then you bail on me or something like that and they might come up with some excuses for not doing it they might say oh yeah we're just not suitable for one another or you should really stop dating me and you should really stop seeing me and you should go date other people or something like that now is it because they really want you to know it's because they're under a lot of pressure to decide whether they want to be with you or with rebound person over here right and so what you want to do at this point is because you are on crisis point in the five stages of getting back together there are five stages that your ex goes through when the two of you are getting back together and the fourth one is the crisis point okay again we talked about this over at relationship inner game.com if you have no idea what I'm talking about you should really sign up over there but the fifth the fourth stage is called crisis point and this is where your act is going to give you every excuse they have about why the two of you can be together okay and if your ex is at the crisis point and not in one of the other stages but if they are at the crisis point that is when it is ideal for you to apply composure in a big way to let your ex know that hey I'm here for you no I'm not going to date anyone else because I like you no I'm not going to put up with XYZ because you're the one I want to be with because I'm committed to following through with you or whatever right and this will only work again at crisis point say it with me when will this work crisis point right you got it you got it this will not work at wall reacting this will not work at test drive this will not work at writing the dragon this I guess would work at new beginning since that's the fifth stage but it would be kind of redundant at that point but you only want to do this at crisis point okay so you want to be able to apply composure in the right place at the right time in the right way when your ex is at the crisis point stage so again I've hoped this has helped you out if you follow these five steps you will be able to destroy your ex's rebound relationship and you can do it in a way that you can actually feel good about because you're not using secret sneaky things you're not sabotaging it you're not doing something that your mom would like guilty or anything like that here's being a good person and having a stronger connection with them than anyone else ever could that's at the point where they wouldn't ever even want to be in a relationship with anyone else okay so that's how you go about doing it in a genuine authentic forthright and way that is full of integrity if you'd like to learn more about how to do all of this stuff if you'd like to learn more about advanced relational skills if you'd like to learn more about the five stages your ex goes through when getting back together with you just head on over to our website relationship inner game.com and sign up for our newsletter we give everybody on our insider newsletter you know information about this stuff on a regular basis so please go ahead and sign up over there if that's something that would benefit you in the meantime please go ahead and like video if you found it helpful or go ahead and subscribe to this channel on YouTube if you'd like to get more videos from us when we put out new videos and also go ahead down below and leave a comment talk about you know any sort of experience you have with rebound relationships or that you've had with your ex in a rebound relationship go ahead and get the conversation started anyway this has been quite with relationship inner game.com and I'll see you in the next video take care

Channel: Clay Andrews

Views: 297,621

Keywords: get your ex back from a rebound, my ex is in a new relationship, Clay Andrews, rebound relationship, rebound relationships, my ex is in a rebound relationship, ex in a rebound relationship, Ex Solution Program, ex is dating someone new, my ex is dating someone new, my ex is with someone else, my ex is dating someone else, my ex has a new boyfriend, my ex has a new girlfriend, is my ex in a rebound relationship, get your ex back when they moved on

Id: WpF1_JXBEhM

Length: 15min 51sec (951 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 19 2017