These Are The 5 Reasons Why The Rebound Relationship Was Over Before It Even Started | Coach Court

what's going on my beautiful people this is certified life and relationship coach coach Court in today's video we're going to talk about why your ex's rebound relationship probably won't last [Music] and I just want to tell you flat out right off the right out the gate this relationship isn't going to last it usually doesn't now I've studied everything about rebound relationships attachment Styles I feel like everything and one other thing that's real consistent is that those rebound relationships usually don't last and I think the statistics is like 10 of those relationships end up working out let me give you five reasons right I'm not just blowing smoke I'm not just coming on here and talking about just some random thing that I just made up like this is the things that I've studied these are the people that I work with on our in and out on a day-to-day basis I'm gonna be five of those reasons right I wrote them down for you the first one is um the person one of the people that are in that relationship either the new guy or the person or a new girl or the person that you were with um they usually have some type of insecure attachment because if you look at these rebound relationship Dynamics let's say you have friends you have family members that are that are dealing with the same issue it's usually a situation where one of those people are either codependent um they are either narcissistic and the reason I say narcissistic is because it takes a special type of person to come into uh if it's your ex your ex is life knowing that they are struggling knowing that they are kind of on the fence about whether they still want to be with you or not or they're just not happy in that relationship it takes a special person to kind of poach them off of you and get into a relationship with them and that's usually an insecure attachment type issue if you ask me in my book that's something that's insecure and not only from there and also from your exes in too why can't they take the time we're going to get down to that later on but it's usually an insecure attachment deal and we all know how the relationships work when someone is insecurely attached a whole host of other issues the second reason is because it's usually built upon lust and usually not some uh real connection right it's usually built on lust or some type of unmet needs that are happening in your current relationship or the relationship that you guys were in and the the blowback that I've gotten from this this this you know reason is you know sometimes it's the people who are the person that are the rebounders you know the people that are in the relationship with your ex and they feel like it's not fair for someone to uh judge them on the a choice that someone else decided to make which means they they almost got a little bit offended as to um you know all the rebound relationship videos that are being made you know all the different terms the painkillers the the low-hanging fruit all those different things that they're referred to and it comes off as inhumane to them and I understand that but here's what I'm saying here for this this reason it's uz lust and not based on something that's really super that's really uh substantial right because think about it if you're in a relationship and you have all these unmet needs you you want communication you want intimacy you want a person to just show up and you know the love language they want to speak they want you to speak their Love Languages and you're not doing that they're not providing them for them um they're they're going to go into the next situation thinking that this is the best thing since sliced bread the analogy that I like to use is when if you've been in a prison or in solitary confinement for so long and someone you know and every day you were getting these they were sliding crackers under the door every day you're eating crackers unmet needs so when you get out of there at the first thing you're going to look around for it's like all right what else is out there this this can't be the best thing that's happening you know the best thing that I be getting right now so you see someone else have a a slice of bread and you like I was getting crackers they got a slice of bread so it's like the fomo it's like that that fear of missing out that goes on in their mind so when they get into this relationship that's going to be after you usually they're thinking about all the things that they weren't getting but when we get to number three which is our number two yeah number three they hit the power struggle phase which everyone is the power struggle stage right you hit the power struggage they don't care if it was built on a rebound I don't care if you were somewhere one that you have been single for three years or whatever the case may be you were always going to hit that power struggle stage no matter you know what the relationship was founded upon so if that happens you all know that I feel most of the relationships in there and you can do the studies yourself look up the power spell stage most relationships in there because you have to handle situations that are uncomfortable and the people are going to be wanting to get their freedom back their independence you know when you used to fart and you didn't sting to them they were like oh you're so cute it doesn't it's not so cute anymore the fact that you used to snore after you know hanging out and now you're snoring and you're in the power struggle stage they're gonna be like you know I'm just gonna go home I don't really want to be around this anymore it always Fades right the honeymoon phase has to end so even if it's a rebound they can be so so there's there's people who try to fake it and try to make their relationship last way longer than it should I feel like mostly if you look at my other videos most from the study that I've done the studies that I've done the research the people that I've worked with it usually doesn't last longer than two years if the rebound do last longer than that it becomes a very unhealthy and a very toxic situation well if you wanted to find toxic gas you know poor communication regrets remorse the ex reaching out to their ex your ex reaching out to you again and confide in you this is how it usually works out Sportsman you already know what I'm going to say is your ex hasn't healed from your relationship right they haven't and the reason that I know this is because it takes a while for a person to get over the relationship and have no residual effects of the previous relationship that they were in you know for example one of the people that I listen to pretty often is Wayne Dyer and he was saying one of his lectures about you know if you haven't taken the time to get rid of all the garbage that you have you're gonna always bring it into the new relationship he put it this way if you think about your history and you put it all in this garbage bag right you put it all in his garbage bag because you haven't taken the time to go to therapy and unload the stuff or do whatever you need to do to you know make yourself Anew for the new relationship you're going to put it all over and you're going to throw it over your shoulder and you're just going to drag it along with you and when you get to the next relationship you're going to throw the bag down as soon as they say hey what happened to your relationships what's going on with that you know what was your history like and if they open up that bag and they start smearing it all over the place all over again then that relationship doesn't work out and they pack it all back in drag it with them but what they should be doing is learning how to unload that stuff unload all of those negative Stories the the things that they haven't really processed yet while they're single now I'm not saying that a person can't heal while they're in a relationship but it takes them to be in a relationship with someone that's secure someone that understands is going to take some time it's going to take proper communication there may be trauma triggers that come up this is something that not a lot of people can provide for them while they're in that state right while they're still trying to over overcome you or or to get over you because essentially they haven't the fifth reason why I feel it won't last and I think it won't last just for the people that I've worked with there's always a hint of insecurity that happens within that relationship all right there's always because the relationship was founded upon something that wasn't quite legit and wasn't quite you know uh I guess untethered and emotion-free there's always going to be that that what if in the back of one of those people's mind you know whether it's if it's your ex and they're getting into a relationship with someone they may be thinking like what is this person seeing me how could this person be with me after I gotten this out of the situation I've heard people say that you know they got broken up with because a person was rebounding with them and they were saying the person that was your say your ex was saying I'm just not ready I'm too damaged I'm too traumatized my old relationship hurt me and this is down the line it doesn't happen in the honeymoon stage of course but it does happen and the other person who's the rebounder may be thinking well if she did it to me how if she did this to her ex-boyfriend how do I know she's not gonna do this to me how do I know the minute that I start you know slacking or slipping up or she's starting to say hey I'm not happy you know that she won't go out and find someone else or he whatever won't go out and find someone else so those are my five reasons why I feel the relationship will fail so if you found this video of any value please like comment and share it with the people that you think may find is beneficial if you want my help personally you can reach out to them in my website at www.fruitful seeds what does he at the end.com and always remember when you go be loved you'll never have to find it namaste [Music]

Channel: Coach Court

Views: 26,987

Keywords: rebound relationship, rebound relationships, get ex back, 5 Reasons Why The Rebound Relationship Was Over Before It Even Started, Do they love the rebound?, attachment styles, ex back, attachment style, anxious attachment style, dismissive avoidant, secure attachment style, dismissive, how to get your ex back, coach court, dealing with breakups, rebound relationship fail, Dating, coach courtney gatlin, relationship advice, rebound relationships fail, rebound relationship stages

Id: ImzGrSHCYi4

Length: 10min 1sec (601 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 28 2023