>>> ALL RIGHT, SHE'S A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, SHE'S A MOM OF THREE, SHE'S BEEN CALLED THE MILLENNIAL PARENTING WHISPERER. NOW DR. BECKY KENNEDY PUTTING EVERYTHING SHE KNOWS IN ONE SPOT. >> YEAH. SHE HAS A NEW BOOK OUT TODAY CALLED "GOOD INSIDE." DR. BECKY IS HERE TO ANSWER SOME OF YOUR PARENTING QUESTIONS AND OURS. >> YOU PUT IT ALL IN ONE BOOK? >> IT IS ALL THERE. >> WE CALL UP AND GO, WE HAVE A PROBLEM, WHEN WE CHECK YOUR INSTAGRAM PAGE, IS THERE ANYTHING HERE -- >> PAGE 246, RIGHT THERE. >> I FEEL LIKE WHY PEOPLE CALL YOU THE MILLENNIAL PARENTING WHISPERER IS YOU DON'T MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD. THERE IS ALREADY ENOUGH SHAME AND GUILT THAT COMES TO PARENTING. >> YEAH. >> RIGHT? >> THAT SPEAKS RIGHT TO ME. MY NUMBER ONE GOAL WITH THIS BOOK IS, PARENTS, WE HAVE THE HARDEST AND MOST GRUELING AND MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD. AND WE'RE ROCK STARS FOR TAKING THAT ON ALL THE TIME. AND IF WE'RE SO BOLD TO SAY, HEY, I WOULD LIKE A RESOURCE, I WOULD LIKE SOME SUPPORT, THOSE RESOURCES SHOULD MAKE US FEEL EMPOWERED AND CONFIDENT, AND NEVER SHAMEFUL. >> GOOD INSIDE IS SUCH A POWERFUL TITLE BECAUSE YOU'RE SPEAKING TO KIDS, BUT YOU'RE KIND OF SPEAKING TO GROWN-UPS TOO. >> YES. I THINK THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. I REALLY DO BELIEVE IT IS, LIKE, THE FIRST APPROACH THAT IS AS MUCH ABOUT SELF-DEVELOPMENT AS IT IS ABOUT CHILD DEVELOPMENT. AND I THINK IT IS EASY AS A PARENT, OH, NO, DOES THAT MEAN IT IS GOING TO BE ALL MY FAULT? NO, IT IS NOT AT ALL OUR FAULT. IT IS JUST THAT WHEN WE'RE WILLING TO, LIKE, BUILD SOME SKILLS OURSELVES TO CHANGE HOW WE SHOW UP TO OUR KIDS, THAT'S WHAT HELPS US USE THE STRATEGY AND SCRIPT WE WANT WITH OUR KID AND IT ALSO HELPS US JUST FEEL MORE STURDY IN EVERY OTHER AREA OF OUR LIVES. >> WE HAVE QUESTIONS WE HAVE TO GET TO. QUICKLY, TELL US WHAT THE MOST GENEROUS INTERPRETATION IS AND WE CAN USE THIS IN EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES. >> ANYTHING. SO AS MUCH AS WE ALL KNOW OUR KIDS ARE GOOD INSIDE, IT IS EASY TO REACT FROM ANGER OR FRUSTRATION. FOR ME TOO. SO WHAT I DO WITH MY OWN KIDS IS I FORCE MYSELF TO GET INTO A GOOD INSIDE MINDSET BY JUST SAYING TO MYSELF, BECKY, WHAT IS THE MOST GENERATION INTERPRETATION OF WHERE MY SON WOULD HIT HIS SISTER. IF I SAY THAT, I SAY, WAIT, OKAY, IT IS HARD TO SHARE BLOCKS AND NOW HIS SISTER IS MOVING AROUND MORE AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THAT FRUSTRATION. SO ONCE YOU THINK THAT, YOU COME TO AT IT DIFFERENTLY. >> WE HAVE OUR FIRST QUESTION FROM ALLISON. >> HI, DR. BECKY. ALLISON FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE. MY QUESTION IS HOW TO AVOID AFTER SCHOOL MELTDOWNS. MY DAUGHTER AFTER SCHOOL WHO IS 6 OFTEN MELTS DOWN, IF I HUG HER INSTEAD OF KISS HER, ASK HER THE WRONG QUESTIONS ABOUT SCHOOL, IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO TO AVOID THESE MELTDOWNS? THANKS SO MUCH. >> THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. >> VERY FAMILIAR. >> ME TOO, ESPECIALLY AT THE START OF SCHOOL, RIGHT? SO FIRST THING I WANT TO KIND OF UPGRADE THE QUESTION. BECAUSE WHEN WE ASK OURSELVES HOW CAN WE AVOID SOMETHING THIS OUR KID IS DOING, WE'RE PUTTING OUR PARENTING POWER IN OUR KIDS KIND OF LAP, THAT'S VERY DISEMPOWERING. AN UPGRADED QUESTION IS HOW CAN I MANAGE THOSE MELTDOWNS WHEN THEY HAPPEN AND HOW CAN WE HELP OUR KIDS HAVE THE SKILLS TO GO FORWARD. UNDERSTANDING HELPS. OUR KIDS HOLD IT TOGETHER ALL DAY. IT IS SO HARD TO GO TO A NEW SCHOOL, NEW ACTIVITIES, FRIENDS, DYNAMICS, AND SO THEY ACTUALLY RELEASE IN THEIR SAFE SPACE. THAT REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT IS TO SAY, MY KID SHOWS ME THAT THEY FEEL SAFE WITH ME. SO THIS IS JUST PART OF THE TRANSITION. I ALSO THINK THE OTHER THING WE CAN DO IS TALK ABOUT IT WITH OUR KIDS IN ADVANCE. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT, WHEN I PICK YOU UP, THAT'S TRICKY. I WONDER IF THERE IS A SNACK YOU WANT. I WONDER IF THERE IS A SONG YOU WANT MAYBE PLAYING, JUST SO WE CAN HELP MAKE THAT AS EASY AS POSSIBLE. IN OUR OUR KID FEELS LIKE WE'RE ON THEIR TEAM INSTEAD OF AGAINST THEM. >> SMART. NOW WE HAVE A DAD NAMED JASSEN WHO HAS A QUESTION FOR YOU. >> ALL RIGHT. >> GOOD MORNING, DR. BECKY. THIS LITTLE GUY KIEREN IS 3 YEARS OLD, AND WANTS TO PLAY PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES ALL DAY WITH ME. BUT IN THE EVENING, WHEN IT IS TIME TO PUT HIM TO BED, HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND ONLY WANTS HIS MOTHER TO PUT HIM TO BED. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS OR TIPS TO HELP US IN THIS PROCESS SO THAT I CAN PUT HIM DOWN ALONE, WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR IT. >> HE'S, LIKE, YEAH, DAD. I WANT MOM. >> SO COMMON. SO, TWO THINGS I WOULD SAY. NUMBER ONE, WHEN WE'RE REJECTED BY OUR KIDS, HUMOR IS OFTEN A REALLY, REALLY HELPFUL FIRST STEP. HUMOR IS NOT MOCKERY. HUMOR MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS, IT'S TRUE, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE BED IS. THIS IS THE BED. THIS IS WHERE YOU SLEEP. THE KID IS GOING TO LAUGH BECAUSE IT IS FUNNY. WHEN YOU LAUGH, YOU HAVE CONNECTION. IF THEY WANTED MOM, NOW THEY'RE MORE CONNECTED WITH YOU, YOU HAVE THIS CONNECTION CAPITAL TO MOVE THINGS ALONG. THE OTHER OPTION, BECAUSE SOMETIMES A KID WON'T HAVE THAT, IS JUST TO REMEMBER I'M IN CHARGE OF THE BOUNDARY, MY KID IS IN CHARGE OF THEIR FEELINGS, I CAN SAY I KNOW YOU WANT MOM, I GET IT, SOMETIMES WE DON'T GET THE EXACT THING WE WANT. I'M GOING TO PUT YOU TO BED AND YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ABOUT IT. I KNOW WE'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH IT TOGETHER. AND WHEN A KID FEELS THAT STURDINESS, AND THEY FEEL LIKE WE CAN TOLERATE THEY'RE HAVING A HARD TIME, THAT'S HOW THEY LEARN IT IS OKAY TO HAVE A HARD TIME AND GET THROUGH IT. >> ALL RIGHT. >> SO SMART. WE FEEL BETTER ALREADY. >> I DO. ALL THE ADVICE YOU NEED FOR PARENTING IN DR. BECKY'S BOOK. IT'S CALLED "GOOD INSIDE." YOU
