- [Jon] It's a film, for
people who haven't seen it, that's told in four discrete stories which is really almost kind of like an arty experimental film-type structure. And yet it reached the highest heights, it was nominated for an Academy Award. It was widely seen, deeply respected, I think, had a deep impact on
certainly my understanding, I think if not the greater
world's understanding of what happened in South Africa, after apartheid fell (soft music) (digital chimes) - [Announcer] He's fantastic,
you're going to love him. Go crazy, make some noise,
for Phil Hanley everybody. (audience applauding) - Everybody I'm not only a comedian, I'm also a stay-at-home son. (audience laughing) - [Narrator] Offstage, 30
something Comedian, Phil Hanley really does still live
in his parents' basement. - I promised my mom
I'd clean the bathroom. Basically it's like a
set up for an apartment. I got a fully functional kitchen. - [Narrator] Hanley's
lifestyle is comedic gold, part of a global phenomenon, young adults still living
at home with their parents. In Italy, they're called
Bamboccioni, big babies. In the UK, they're yuckies,
young, unwittingly costly kids. In North America, we've
christened them boomerangs, for their tendency to keep coming home. - My friends be like, "When are you going to
get your own place?" And probably not for a long time because my parents are really healthy. (audience laughing) - [Dr. Jane] We told them
to follow their bliss, well, they're following their bliss and they're living under
our roof because they can. - [Narrator] Is it because
of a tough economy? - [Dr. Richard] It's
simply not the same world that boomers navigated when
they were coming of age. - [Narrator] Or because the
kids aren't tough enough. - [Christina] And there's
a lot less willingness to go out and get an entry-level job and live in a cheap
apartment with a roommate and eat Mr. Noodles. - [Narrator] But hang on, maybe adult offspring living
at home isn't such a bad idea. - [Dr. Jeffrey] Why not
spend most of your 20s trying to figure out what you
really want out of life and where you fit into the world. - [Narrator] But what if
we're raising a generation of Peter Pans who never grow up? - [Dr. Jane] Is saying, "You can stay home and live here rent-free until you find a job," is that doing them any favors? - [Narrator] And is it
doing us any favors? Will the kids be ready to
take over when we need them? It's a big step up from the
lesson we've been teaching them, that when the going gets
tough, you can always go home. - [Man] Hi mom, I'm home. - [Narrator] Today in Canada, more than half of 20 to 29 year old adults still live at home. That's double what it was 25 years ago. And these young adults are
delaying careers and families just as their boomer parents
are approaching retirement. - [Dr. Richard] I mean the
welfare of society rests on replenishing itself right? As old people die and
new ones are born in. And to the extent that
there's an imbalance there that has real implications
for the wellbeing of society - [Narrator] For better or
worse, we better get used to it. Adult children, living at
home are the new normal throughout the Western world. (bell ringing) In England, where one in three parents are
remortgaging their homes to support adult children. 37 year old Kirsty has returned
home for the fourth time In Italy, 35 year old Andrea is a typical Bamboccioni, big baby. Here it's a tradition,
adult children still living under mama's wing. For the Reyes family of Brampton, Ontario it's also a cultural tradition for children to stay home until they wed. But 29 year old Caleb is ready to leave. 25 year old Ashlee of Vancouver
is doing the opposite. Heading back home after eight
years of living on her own. Having no desire to share their
home with 30 year old kids the Lermittes of Richmond BC
have drawn a line in the sand. 25 and you're out. - Sometimes you have to
kick the little birdie out of the nest, right? Because I think there is
a lot of comfort at home. Are you guys coming up to the cabin or not
coming up with the cabin? - [Narrator] Jan and Paul
Lermitte have three adult sons. One recently married, two of them are still living at home. 24 year old Patrick lives in the same bedroom he's had
since he was a little boy. - [Patrick] It's like my little fortress of solitude I guess. I spend the large portions
of my time in my room. It's my office as well. - [Narrator] Patrick earned a
diploma in theater stagecraft but then found a new passion filmmaking. So he's starting over to build contacts in an industry where jobs are scarce. And that means staying home even longer. - I'd rather be working full time. But for me I don't want
to be stuck in a job where I'm not happy - [Narrator] A year younger at 23, brother Jeremy hungers
for the independence of which he's already had a taste. - [Jeremy] It's hard
living away for four years. And then coming back, I don't look at myself as the perfect catch right now. I can't really bring a girl home (laughs) It doesn't really work out that well. So I don't have a job and
I live with my parents. Doesn't fly that well - [Narrator] But for now Jeremy sees home as a necessary harbor while he studies to be
a financial analyst. - [Jeremy] I mean, I see it
as I can take the time now and really figure out
what exactly I want to do. - [Narrator] And because
their parents can afford it, Jeremy and Patrick have the luxury of time to pursue their dreams and
to acquire more education. This is another real shift in
the framework of our society. It wasn't so long ago that
young people could strike out on their own and make it
just on brains and hard work. But today more than ever, the
single most important factor that determines whether young adults fail or succeed is the amount of financial support and
guidance they get from parents - So much for the American dream. That much of what determines
how far young people get in life now is not about the
investment that they put in but about the investment
that their parents make. So young people who come from backgrounds where parents don't have
resources to invest in them, where parents don't have the know-how about how you get into
college, how you get ahead really struggle as they make
their way through these years. And that's a major difference
between now and the past - [Narrator] But the Lermittes don't want to coddle their kids, which is why they've established
the 25 and you're out rule. - [Paul] At 25, mom and
dad have done their best to give you an education, set you up but at some point, independence
is what's going to take you to the next level of your life. - [Narrator] So the clock
is ticking for Patrick, no steady job in sight and six months until his 25th birthday. - [Patrick] So yeah, this
year I'm officially kicked out of the house - [Narrator] At 25, Ashlee
Connery is moving back into her mother's house
after years on her own. Now a program manager with
a Vancouver nonprofit, Ashlee went to university away from home and then traveled and even worked abroad. When her work visa ran
out, Ashlee returned home and she decided to stay to be close to her 95 year old grandpa. - Good how are you. I didn't want to miss the end of his life. - I went to see grandpa today. - That's nice, I see. - He's good. And I haven't lived with
her for eight years. And when she left, she was a child. So I thought the opportunity for me is just to know her - [Narrator] Early on,
Ashlee sat her mom down to negotiate the terms of
their new living arrangement. - [Dianne] She has a plan and her plan includes going to get her master's at UBC and she also wants to buy an apartment. And so saving money by staying
at home is part of that. No I listened to her plan
and I bought into it. - We also had a conversation
about how much it costs for me to live here for her. And mostly it's in water and food. I was like, basically will you feed and water me for two more years (laughs) - [Narrator] And Ashlee also
proposed that she pay no rent. Although she has money in the bank she doesn't want to spend her nest egg. - [Ashlee] I've seen other
people who had similar savings use that money to pay
for their master's degree and not to get a job afterwards. So now they have no money to move out and they have a really great degree but they have no job and
they have no savings. - [Narrator] It's happening
all over the world in all sorts of families,
across all income levels, parents and adult children
living under the same roof. In the UK which has been
hard hit by the recession, a recent survey revealed
that one in four young adults between 20 and 30 has
returned home at least twice. - So what did you decide
to make in the end - I'm making (mumbles) soup for lunch - [Narrator] Kirsty Davenport is one of those boomerangers driven
back home by misfortune. - I've ended up coming home this time because my partner left us in December. - Why don't you move that - [Narrator] This is
Kirsty's fourth retreat to her mom's home in Southwest England. This time she brings her
three-year-old daughter Mia. - [Kirsty] When I met my partner to me, sorry, that was forever. Oh, sorry, that was forever. So now it's not (laughs) I didn't expect to be
home because I thought Mia has got a mum and a dad. - [Pauline] Oh my God, (Kirsty laughs) - [Pauline] You're not going
to get that in there, are you? - [Narrator] When Kirsty came
home she had a lot of baggage, including props for her
home-based business. Planning, children's parties. - [Pauline] So this the
stuff that we can get rid of? - No. - [Pauline] Do you have
to keep everything? - [Kirsty] Yes. - [Narrator] Mom's dining
room is now head office. - [Kirsty] I work from this table. I have some things in my
bedroom, under the bed. Yeah. Anywhere that I
can find a little hole for anything to go is wherever
to go, is where it goes. - [Narrator] Kirsty also runs a daycare out of mom's living room. (car door opening) - Come on darling, take these shoes off. - Good boy. I probably wouldn't have
entertained it if we didn't get on. And the other thing you haven't done you've got a phone about the school. - [Narrator] Kirsty would
like to be independent but truly can't imagine how - [Kirsty] Mom does all the
washing, all the cleaning, all the ironing the things that I can't stand. And now I wonder I can't leave because I can't work full-time,
look after my daughter and do the ironing, and the
cooking and the cleaning. Mom does that. So I think, Oh, I'm going
to have to stay now. because I'm never going
to cope in the real world. - [Narrator] Young adults,
unable to cope, running home to mom and dad. Sounds so strange to boomers even when they're the parents. - [Jan] I do think I compare
what our life looked like when I was 25 years old and
what our kids' lives look like at 25 years old. I had two kids at 25 years old. We were fully independent. And it's hard not to say things like, well when I was your age. - [Man] There's a whole
new generation coming, soon to be young adults - [Dr. Richard] In a
way it's a real problem when we judge young people
today based on a standard that emerged in the 1950s. The boomers and everything
that came thereafter in a way is the blip. It's the aberration - [Narrator] In the prosperous decades after the second world war,
good jobs were easy to come by. Even with a high school diploma. - [Dr. Richard] You've left home, you finished school
quickly, you got a job, you got married, you had kids and in many cases all
those things were done by the early to mid twenties. And part of the cultural ethos was that it would have been
horribly embarrassing to have been living home
with parents, right? The expectation was that you leave - [Narrator] But today's youth are faced with a completely
different economic reality. To get ahead requires
post-secondary education and tuition keeps going up. Today the average Canadian
university student graduates with a $28,000 debt. Finding a job to pay
off that debt is tricky. At 14% unemployment for young people is almost
double the general population. For boomers who came of age
when education was cheap and jobs were plentiful, it's hard to truly grasp that young people today
may simply be caught between a rock and a soft
landing on mom's couch. - [Dr. Richard] Well, in some ways, the transition to adulthood today more closely resembles in a way, what it looked like at the
turn of the last century and that's shocking to a lot of people - [Narrator] In the early 1900s, young people stayed home until
they were self-supporting and ready to start their own families. But there is one big difference between great granddaddy's time and today - [Dr. Richard] Whereas
in the turn of the century the picture was much
more about young people as integrated members of
the household contributing in really critical ways to the household and the family unit. Today, the exchange of resources comes almost completely downward
from parents to children. - [Dr.Jane] I mean know that the economy is the reason that everybody gives for why kids are coming home. But it's not just the economy because the fact is
there're crummy dirty jobs that pay a not quite living wage. But our kids aren't willing to, they're not needy enough
because we don't want them to have to literally stoop
to that kind of thing. So we don't insist that they do it - [Narrator] Coming up, how
much is the boomerang kid a direct product of boomer parenting? - [Dr.Jane] We were a generation that professionalized parenting that worried more about
their self-esteem than we did about their get
up and go make a living - [Narrator] And later
say goodbye to freedom 55. How's freedom, 85 sound. - [Christina] In some
cases they're even going into debt to take care
of their adult children. (bright music) - [Phil] My dad tells my
neighbors, I'm an exchange student. (audience laughing) He makes me wear a hello kitty backpack. (audience laughing) - [Narrator] A joke makes people laugh because there's a kernel of truth. For many families with adult
children still at home, there's a trace of discomfort. - Bye - [Woman] Bye - [Narrator] On a regular weekday morning at the Lermitte household. Paul and Jan are out
the door early to work. Upstairs Patrick's asleep. He's on the night shift. A short-term gig as an
assistant film editor. Even though he's working, Patrick knows his living
arrangements still draws criticism. - People make it sound like
it's such a terrible thing. Oh it's terrible. You're living with the people
that raised you all your life they brought you into the
world, what's so bad about that. - [Dr. Richard] I think
parents and young people are in the middle of a tricky dance where they're not sure how this is
supposed to look and feel. - When Paul and I got
married, we were sparked. We were both students, we had no money. Our parents didn't say, "Oh honey, can we, pay your rent for you for the first month?" They just thought, well,
this is what you've chosen. You got married. You're adults. You're going to do this. - You're out of the house. - You're out of the house. Goodbye. - [Narrator] Ashlee Connery knows that many people think she
should be out of the house too. As an educated woman with a good job. To preserve her image at work, she doesn't tell people that
she's back living with mom. - [Ashlee] When people
ask me where I live, I give them the area. This neighborhood is called the Heights. I live in the Heights. I mean, spin it (laughs) - [Narrator] Many of Ashlee's
friends are in the same boat, university educated,
employed and still at home. - My parents just left
for Ontario for 10 days so I have the house to
myself, which is amazing. - [Narrator] Like her
friend, Ashlee, Helen doesn't broadcast that she lives at home. - People perceive you as less of an adult. It's like you haven't
graduated to the next stage of life yet. I've traveled. I've worked abroad. I've studied abroad. I've lived on my own. And so I hesitate to tell
people that I do live at home until they know other things about me and can see me for who I really am not just someone who can't
afford to pay rent in Vancouver. - [Narrator] But Ashlee
admits to a double standard. She's quick to judge guys
who still live at home. - [Ashlee] You would
never go out with the guy who lived at home and doesn't
really matter his age. You just wouldn't go out
with a guy who lived at home because well for lack of a better phrase, where would you sleep? (laughs) - [Narrator] Some families feel no stigma. It's expected that kids
stay home until they marry. Son. Caleb was seven when the Reyes family of Brampton Ontario immigrated
to Canada from Guatemala. Now 29, Caleb makes good money at a full-time construction job. But he'll still go home to meals by mama at the end of the day. - Glad you're home, what's up? - Not much. You guys call it a phenomenon,
I call it reality (laughs) - Always in my mind,
since I had them that day they were going to stay with
me until they can marry. That's me. And that's how to supposed to be - [Narrator] Tradition also dictates that mom does all the cooking
and all the housework. (cutlery clatters) - [Caleb] Right now I couldn't
imagine actually living on my own like having
to really hold my own I'll be like, man, it'd be rough. I'd be rough from the beginning anyway - [Narrator] Caleb is about
to make the tough transition from the comfort of his parents' home into managing his own family. In six months, he and Michelle
who also lives at home, are getting married. - [Caleb] The fact that
I'm getting married some of the stuff I do now I can't be doing that
with my fiance because she didn't have it. She's like I don't, I'm
just (mumbles) to me. She told me to Caleb, I'm
not going to be your mother. - [Narrator] At one time,
we associated adult children at home with certain cultural groups. Now it's becoming the
norm around the world and across cultures. Psychologist, Jeffrey Arnett has a theory. He says, we're seeing the dawning of a completely new life
stage. The emerging adult - [Dr. Jeffrey] Emerging
adulthood is a new stage of the life span. And it lasts from about age 18 to 25. People are on their way to
adulthood, but not there yet - [Narrator] According to Arnett, society should embrace this longer road to adulthood as normal and positive. - [Dr. Jeffrey] I think they
probably have a better chance of happiness if they make
those decisions at 25, 27, 29 than if they make them
at an 18 or 19 or 20. I think their judgment
is going to be better, they're going to have more
life experience to base it on. So why rush into it. - [Narrator] In other
words, 30 is the new 20. - [Dr. Jeffrey] I think
they are less mature. I think 50 years ago, if you got married at age 20 or 21, had a child a year later, boy you were an adult right there. I mean, you had be mature But you could say that maybe
that was a premature maturity that a lot of them weren't ready for it. - [Narrator] There's new
brain research that seems to support Arnett's view. It was once believed that the brain stopped
developing shortly after puberty but recent MRI research reveals that the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and problem solving is among the last to mature
at around 25 years of age. Does that mean that young
people should be kept under their parents' wing until they're in their mid twenties and their brain is fully developed? According to neuroscientists, Tomas Paus, that's not the way it works. - [Dr. Tomas] Well, there is no way that the brain is going to develop if it's deprived of challenges. So if you put a young
teenager into an adult role it's very likely that it's going
to change his or her brain. Dead brain is going to start shaping up in the adult way much
faster than a brain of today a teenager who is not
put into those adult roles. And I think that we shouldn't be
protecting always our children from all the bad things
that might happen to them. They need to sort out
many things on their own. - [Narrator] But leaving
kids to sort things out and take their lumps, was not in the boomer parenting handbook. Boomers formed small
families with intense focus on the kids who were often
overindulged and overprotected. (upbeat music) Boomers wanted their kids to have every advantage
and to remain close. - [Dr.Jane] We want to
be the kinds of parents whose kids would choose us as friends, even if they weren't related to us. Most of us never told our kids that we expected them to leave home. Isn't that amazing? - [Narrator] Social psychologist
Jane Adams spends much of her time coaching
boomers who are now dealing with the fallout. - [Man In Black Sweater] My two sons have absolutely no
motivation to do anything. Both of them have not
finished high school, both of them are not working. They have absolutely no
motivation to do anything. - And they both, how old are they now? - 27 and - 23
- 23 - And how are they supporting themselves? - How are we supporting- - How are you supporting - [Narrator] In this
rather extreme situation? Adam's, council's tough love. - [Dr. Jane] You can't
say you have to have a job or you have to finish school. You can say, you have to be
out of here by certain dates. And I'm assuming that you will
want a high school diploma before you're looking for a job. So you have four more months
to live here until you do but that's it. And then sticking to it. I'm moving them toward accepting
that their kids are adults with an adult responsibility
for their own happiness and survival. They don't get to just be sponges. That's all there is to it. - [Narrator] There is no sponging
allowed at the Lermittes. As long as they're living at home the Lermitte's sons are
expected to help out. But the rule on rent is pretty sweet. For Jeremy free while he's in school. And for Patrick still a real bargain - [Patrick] I pay probably half of what I would be paying it on my own. If (mumbles) an order. - [Paul] It's less than
what it would be fair market out there but they're still too bad. So sad. You're eating the food, electricity does cost and so
you have to pay those bills. - [Christina] Money is always a problem when you have adult children
that are living at home because they're usually
there for financial reasons. - [Narrator] Christina Newberry
speaks from experience. She boomeranged home twice in her twenties and has turned the
experience into a business with her book and website. The hands-on guide to surviving adult
children living at home. - [Christina] I target all of my resources to parents because I
don't think in many cases, the adult children perceive
that there's a problem. Hi, I'm Christina Newberry. Often adult children living at home, are either unemployed or under employed. - [Narrator] Judging from the response to Newberry's blog and YouTube postings, there are plenty of problems. Especially when the
kids have returned home. After a taste of independence - Don't start passing out your child- They might want some of
the perks that come along with being parented. Like a free place to live or maybe even getting their
laundry done in some cases. But they don't want to be told
where they're supposed to be. They want to be told to have a curfew. They don't want to be told
they have to do chores. - [Narrator] Newberry says
the solution is a contract outlining the rules of the house. Like noise levels, car use and - The big one is whether or not boyfriends and girlfriends are allowed to
come home and stay overnight. If the adult child has been
living on their own for a while they might just think that's what they do and the girlfriend or boyfriend stays over and the parents might be
really uncomfortable with that. - [Caleb] My mom's old school, if my fiance stays over
she stays in my room, I'm on the couch. makes it easier for somebody, right? When somebody sets the boundaries for you, than having to set them for yourself - You're going to do the puzzle with Mia - [Narrator] Kirsty and mom, Pauline grapple with a whole
different set of issues. Since Kirsty returned home
with a child of her own. - [Kirsty] (mumbles) put
that one in there then. Trying to be a parent with
a parent is very difficult. I do feel like, sorry, mom. I do feel like I'm stuck in the middle because we're different generations of how we look after our children. I try and do my best, but
not (mumbles) here will say, "Just calm down, just
relax. Just ignore her." Okay. I'll ignore her. Then she gets cross. Then it's like, "No, you've
just told me to calm down and now you've just gone cross." So that's when it gets really difficult and I think Mia sits there
going, Mm-hmm, uh-huh. Right, sorry, mom, I'm not doing anything. - [Narrator] Still,
there is clearly comfort and closeness found in being two women facing
the world together. - So if you have had a bad day, we can come downstairs and moan about it. Or even if we just sit
on the sofa and not talk to each other at all,
there's someone else there. And you might only say
throughout the evening, "A cup of tea?" (Pauline giggles) Yeah - [Pauline] Glass of wine? - Yeah or glass of wine - Gin Tonic
(Pauline laughing) - [Narrator] Coming up, it may be comfy being
a momma's boy in Italy but there's a price. - [Mario] The country
is very damaged by this the country's meter is
going down and down. - So Pat, tell me about- - [Narrator] And later, three
months until Patrick turns 25 and has to be out of the house and still no steady job in sight. - [Patrick] Not scared,
not worried about it. Just going with the flow. (bright music) - [Phil] I love going
out for lunch with my mom because she pays. (audience laughing) Unless if the waitress
is really pretty I pay. I'm like mom, I got it. You know I always get it. (audience laughing) Pass me my purse (audience laughing) - [Narrator] Italy, land of stunning
architecture, fabulous food. And now home to the highest
rate in the Western world of adult children, living
with their parents. 70% of Italians between 18
and 30, still live at home. 80% of men, 35 year old Andrea
Balzani is well launched into a good career with
Italy's national bank. Yet he's never moved away from the comfort of his parents' apartment in central Rome. And Andrea pays not a Euro of rent, leaving him lots of money
to spend on himself. Just one of the perks of living Casa Mama. (Andrea speaks in foreign language) - [Male Translator] It's
not that I can't take care of myself. On the contrary. I just don't do it because it's convenient to live here. (Andrea's mom speaks in foreign language) And you have company of course and that cares about you. (Andrea's mom speaks in foreign language) - [Narrator] Andrea's mama is simply happy to keep her boy close. (Andrea speaks in foreign language) - [Woman Translator] I think parents, especially Italian parents are very I won't say possessive, but they're a bit like mother hens. - Chao
- [Andrea's Mom] Chao - [Narrator] It's a vicious cycle and could well be a
cautionary tale for Canada. Comfortable in their parents' home, many young Italians
simply lose the motivation to go out and look for work. - [Mario] The country is very damaged by this meter is going down and down. Doesn't grow, doesn't develop new ideas. - [Narrator] Journalists Mario
Adinolfi left home at age 19 which at the time his parents
considered far too young but Mario credits his success
to that early independence. From his apartment in Rome
Adinolfi publishes a magazine with the express purpose of lighting a fire under young Italians. - [Mario] If you phone home in a house where there is under 30 years old, or under 40 years old that lives with parents at 9:00 AM. We will be sure that that guy or that girl would be sleeping at 9:00 AM. You'll be sure about that - [Narrator] Adinolfi doesn't blame it all on unmotivated youth. He says the real culprit
is government policy that favors boomers. The older generation's job security and pensions over youth opportunity. That effect is multiplied
by parents inclination to keep offspring close. So they'll look after
them in their old age. - [Mario] I think this they think that when we are older and older I gave a lot to him so
he will give me back. It's a strange relationship because it's not always a love relation. It's something about trading. Let's say - [Narrator] In the UK, the burden of supporting adult children is turning baby boomers into baby gloomers - [David White] Six in 10
parents of 25 year olds. say that they are going to have to retire later than they had planned because they are helping
their young adult children with their debts, with their
studies or with their housing. - [Narrator] Parents are
not only retiring later, one in three is actually
remortgaging their home to support adult children. - [David White] All their life plans are being turned upside down. Everything they thought they were going to do is being turned upside down. - [Narrator] Pauline's life
has definitely been upended. Not so much financially as personally. Daughter Kirsty contributes to the household expenses, but Pauline sometimes misses the peace and quiet of being an empty nester. - [Pauline] I found
that when I was working and I had a day off, I could sit and watch
a black and white movie and peace and quiet, but I can't do that because they come back and that's the end of it. They're expected to be quiet and really you can't
expect them to be quiet - [Narrator] Back in Richmond, BC, the Lermittes are working hard to keep their life plans on track by getting the kids ready to launch - 10 bucks a day, or you can live- - [Narrator] In his work
as a financial planner, Paul Lermitte runs a
bootcamp for young adults to help them reach financial independence - [Paul] As parents, we want
to make sure that you guys are cashflow managing your money, so you're not taking my or
your parents' retirement money - [Narrator] In Canada, the
average cost of raising a child to age 18 is $200,000. And that's not the end of it. - [Dr. Richard] Parents
end up spending a third of what they spent getting the kid to 18 again when then the child is
moving through the twenties - [Narrator] That's on
average, another 60 grand from high school grad to independence. Money most parents hadn't expected to pay. - [Christina] And often parents aren't just feeding their kids, paying for gas, they may also be paying for university, they may be buying them clothes so that they can go out on job interviews. They may be buying them a car so that they can go out and
find work that involves a car - [Dr.Jane] A child who has
a serious medical condition who needs our help to buy his medication. That's a safety net that
some of us provide for them. A child who loses his job
and can't make the payments on his Lexus is not nearly
the same kind of crisis. Not in my house, but in some households if it's a bump on the road to adulthood that a parent
can smooth out, they do it. - So I want to know first,
what are your expenses? The fixed expense. - [Narrator] As the months go by Paul Lermitte keeps hammering home the fiscal responsibility message. - [Patrick] I don't like
talking about money. I don't like dealing with budgeting. I don't like doing any of that stuff - [Narrator] Today, (mumbles)
a Stanley Cup Playoff Beard, Patrick is well aware that
there's just three months to go before he turns 25 and is
kicked out of the nest. - [Paul] So in essence you have to earn 1500 bucks a month just to - Yes
- Live. - I know that I understand - [Narrator] Patrick has a
couple of leads on temporary work and is starting to look
for a place to live. He's finding rental prices a bit shocking. - [Patrick] Some of them are ridiculous. Living on my own is not an option. I am sure that I'm a
little bit anxious, but at the same time, I'm
just like, I'm trying not to make it such a big deal. So now that I'm finally
just essentially being given the boots, which I mean realistically my dad wouldn't kick me out in September if I still couldn't get out anyways. Good luck trying (laughs) (mumbles) - [Paul] 25 is a good age to
be out fending for yourself. Seeing what it's like on the
street. It's a rite of passage. - [Jan] I'm not as hard-lined
about stuff like this so for Paul, he might feel like, well, on August 29th
which is his birthday, he's out of the house but for me it's a little
more fluid than that. I'm more comfortable with them. - I was thinking the 28th (Jan laughs) the day before - The day before, yeah (laughs) - No
- No I just think that would I put my kid out
on the street because - Yes, yes, it's a good thing. - I don't want to do that,
but Paul, well (laughs) - It's a good thing. - [Narrator] Coming
up, a wedding for Caleb and D day for Patrick. - [Patrick] I've got friends and family that I can go couch surfing with for a couple of days here and there. (audience laughing) - [Phil] I'm not complaining
obviously about my folks. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. They dropped me off. (audience laughing) - Good girl. - [Narrator] In the UK, Kirsty
is still living with her mom. Mia starts kindergarten this year and Kirsty is going back to college. In Rome, Andrea is finally moving into an apartment of his own but he'll be living in the
same building as his parents. And they're making the down payment. Eight months into her five-year plan to get a master's degree
and buy an apartment, Ashlee is still living
at home and on target with her savings. - [Woman] 13, 14 - [Narrator] And in 24 hours, Caleb and Michelle tie the knot. During the past two weeks, Caleb has had his one and only taste of living on his own, in the apartment that will be
his new home with Michelle. - [Caleb] I didn't wait until
the wedding to move out. I wanted to move out
before because I'm like I need some, I need a bachelor moment. At least if it's a week or two - [Narrator] And it didn't
take even that long for Caleb to realize his parents had
sheltered him from cold reality - [Caleb] It's a lot of money being spent. But I think I was just
naive is the key word there. I was being a little bit naive - [Narrator] Ready or
not here comes the bride. - [Girl] The bride is coming - [Narrator] After 29
years of living at home looked after by mom, Caleb steps abruptly into independence as he begins his own family. (bright music) - I love you with all my heart and I will protect you
from anything or anybody (crowd clapping) - [Sonia Reyes] For me is very special to see now my son is leaving home when he's going to build his own home, because that's what I wanted all my life. Since I had my babies. - [Marriage Officiant]
You may now kiss the bride (crowd cheering) - [Narrator] From this day forth, Caleb is expected to shoulder
his own responsibilities. - [Caleb] What my mom said to me she was, once you leave I want you to leave. Right? I want you to be independent and actually do things for yourself? - [Narrator] It's supposed
to be independence day for Patrick too. Today is his 25 and you're out birthday. The good news he's found work. A six month contract on a TV series. So he self-supporting at least for half a year. The bad news, no luck
finding an apartment. So Patrick's not moving out today. - [Patrick] I planned to be out at 25, but technically, I mean if we want to
get technical about it, 25 and I'm out I got a whole
year until I'm 26, right? So I got some leeway. Hey, guess what? You're
not getting rid of me. - I mean, I get September rent. - Yeah. - [Narrator] Turns out
Mr. tough dad isn't going to hold Patrick strictly to the rule. He'll allow a short period of grace. - Well, as long as you're working at it, I think that's great. All
things come step by step. - I think I knew that he
wouldn't actually put him out on the street or anything. So it's yeah. Paul likes to draw the line and then, if the line needs adjusting,
he makes those adjustments so - [Narrator] At 23,
Jeremy has two more years before he reaches that line. And according to his older brother, the threat of being kicked out of the nest will keep the pressure on. - [Patrick] It definitely
makes a difference when your parents tell you
when you're 25 and you're out. I mean, I was still, I
was searching nonstop to try to get work, but it made me search harder. - [Paul] Did you make a wish? - [Jan] You are officially 25, well done. (Paul cheering)
(Jan cheering) - [Narrator] But even though the Lermittes are pushing
their sons toward independence, there'll still be a safety net. Paul and Jan's own financial
plans include contributing to the cost of their son's weddings and helping out with down
payments for their first house. - Will they back like we paid it back? I sure hope so, because it
will help us in our retirement, but just making their payments on their mortgage might
be enough for them. And this is what I surmise at least with my smart young men, they'll come back to me and say, mom and dad do you want grandchildren? Or do you want us to pay down
the mortgage that we owe you? (Jan laughing) - [Narrator] When they have the resources, many boomer parents are
creating these individual safety nets for their kids. Maybe hoping the investment will pay off and the kids will be there
for them when the time comes. - There's this closeness between parents and emerging adults that
has never really existed in any previous generation. And so I don't think the
emerging adults are just going to get into adult and say, well I got mine now, mom and dad, you're on your own. I can't imagine that. These
are close relationships. They're going to be mutually
supportive relationships for a long time to come. - [Narrator] It's possible
that this phenomenon of adult children living at home will pass when the economy picks up. More likely we are in
it for the long haul. - [Dr. Richard] This period
is no longer what it was and it's not going away. I think a lot of that prolonged path to adulthood is here to stay. - [Narrator] Social
scientists will continue to debate whether or not
this is a healthy trend. And like Phil Hanley they'll have lots of fresh material to work with for years to come. - [Phil] Dad do you think
they'll like me tonight? (Phil's mother laughing) - No - [Phil] My mom recently asked
me if I wanted to have kids. And I said, "Mom, the real question is do you want more roommates." (audience laughing)
