"I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want but what I do have are very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. I will look for you, I will find you and I will KILL YOU!" (intro theme) Hello, Internet! Welcome to Game Theory! Where we analyze cartoon physics, with a seriousness usually reserved for overworked, mechanical engineering undergrads Hey, you know a game that I've never talked about in the entirety of this series? Well, you saw the title and the thumbnail, so probably you do. It's Mario Kart! Seriously! 182 episodes of this show, and not once, not once, have I touched on Mario Kart! Wrap your head around that for a second. It's a weird oversight for a franchise that I played non-stop when I was growing up. Granted, I was playing with myself. Don't take that out of context. Against the computer, since that's
how us single children do. But man, let me tell you, I got so good at whooping some computer controlled Wario behind. That star ain't gonna help you catch up to this pedal to the metal Peach, brother! Pedal to the metal Peach, YEAH! Peachy's got it! I'm still manly. But now, with the release of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe... Um, should I say, "Re-release of Mario Kart 8?" (laughs) No, who am I kidding nobody
cared enough about the WiiU to play that thing Anyway, Mario Kart 8 it's out it's fun 200cc is brutal let's theorize Now at this point you all know how I
roll when it comes to Mario theories I'm constantly on the lookout
for the sickest, scariest most violent, dangerous, and depraved depths of good ol' Mario "Jumpman" Mario's adventures. but even I've got to admit, Mario Kart 8 may be the
single, most horrific Mario game out there. and that is saying a lot for this twisted world of brotherly rivalry, sociopathic domination of failing father figures. but I assure you, Internet, that when you do the math or more accurately when I do the math you watch it and then critique it
from your couches at home these karts are death machines no helmets no seatbelts all danger Surprised about that seatbelt thing, by the way? Yeah! me too I thought for sure Nintendo would need to add that in to remain child-friendly or something but no, they're riding strapless the whole time even in that shameless bit of
product placement they got in there The Mercedes GLA It's an unlockable kart in the game it's a car ad it'd be like if I put a big, honking
Mercedes in the video right now and they paid me for it and then I didn't properly Photoshop a seat belt
over my poorly Photoshopped body You know, that's really weird I feel like showing a seat belt has got to be a legal requirement for car ads I mean, when I Pet-U-Cation which was the thing that I did with Purina like a couple years ago they had requirements where they couldn't show dogs on bicycles or dogs doing human things or dogs without collars all these individual, very specific
requirements that we couldn't do either legally, or because they're brand didn't want us to so, here's a little behind the scenes moment that I thought you guys would enjoy probably the worst looking video worst sounding video that I will
ever take and show you guys I've been researching this script for the last six hours on the plane I wonder if Nintendo and Mercedes are actually breaking the law by not showing Mario
and other characters wearing a seat belt in that GLA car that's in Mario Kart 8 So, I've been looking up for I kid you not the last thirty to forty-five minutes on on the airplane Wi-Fi so you can imagine how fun and exciting that's been but I finally found the right
combination of keywords that worked "vehicle advertising" and they say "driving practices" "or any other breaches of the law" You have to show proper driving etiquette so you have to use fog lights you have to brake--use breaks indicate changing lanes and of course using seatbelts so what that means is that yeah Nintendo and Mercedes actually are breaking the law with their GLA promotion in Mario Kart 8 So, not a bad start to things in our first couple minutes of this theory we've already proven that the entire game of Mario Kart 8 is illegal it is an illegal, sponsored video Cool! But what I really want to know is is it deadly? and just how deadly is it? Well, you know, whenever you got to
figure out something like that it means only one thing: time to call in The Pixel Measurements thankfully Mario Kart 8 Deluxe runs 60 FPS which means that our measurements are going to be twice as accurate as they would have been otherwise now, in order to get a precise measurement we're gonna need some objective points of reference which is actually surprisingly easy to find in Mario Kart because Mario is in it and I know what you're gonna say trust me, I've had my fair share of
battles over Mario's height at this point and Odyssey is a weird entry in the series but after the official Nintendo
costume of Mario crashed our GT Live video about 1-2 Switch and I measured him to be in real time at that moment 155cm or five foot eleven inches No way... NO WAY which, just so happens to be also what
Nintendo says his canon height is I am convinced Good ol' Mario Five foot eleven inches from here on out to the end of eternity serving as a semi-reliable ruler in Game Theory videos for half a decade Anyway knowing that, we can use his height to measure just about anything we want to in this world Say, for instance, the checkers on the starting line which are all the same size,
giving us a finish line that's 138cm wide from there all we have to do is cross
that finish line at top speed look at how many frames it takes to do it and then output that into an official speed which, for regular, ol' Mario
on a regular ol' Kart gets us a regular ol' speed of 35.57 meters/sec or, more useful, 128 km/hr Since I'm American imperialist scum that number means nothing to me so let me convert that to miles per hour and holy balls! that's almost 80 mph! I wow that's just really fast like faster than most highways fast I mean, jeez, Nintendo first the seatbelt thing and now this? kids play this game, you know You really want to set the example
of irresponsibly zipping around a track launching projectiles at each other at speeds faster than most highways with no seatbelt, no helmet and a vehicle with no sides? Forget "Mario Kart Double Dash" It's "Mario Kart Fury Road" It's "Mario Kart Death Race" It's "Mario Kart I Have No More
Movie References To Put Here" "Fast and Furious!"
"Fast and Furious" "Mario Kart Fast and Furious" So my first thought here is: no way there is no way a go kart
could possibly go this fast but I kept digging, and believe it or not there are actual karts that can go up to speeds of up to 200 kph Or about 124 mph a hundred and twenty-four miles per hour! and get this: they're used for actual kart races! souped up super-karts
blasting around tracks at over 100 mph in other words: Mario Kart is a real sport Man! where is season two of
GameLab when you need it? "But MattPat" I hear you saying "If these guys are going so fast, "why are you making such a big deal about "how dangerous Mario Kart is?" "Last time I checked,
I didn't see a Dateline special about the "horrific deaths of high
speed Kart racers" To which I say to you commenter "You watch Dateline?!" "What are you, like, 75?"" Grandma, are you leaving
comments down below again? But to answer your question, there are actually two big differences between the Kart Bros
and the Mario Bros First, the track Rarely are there walls that are
right next to the road in these real life races usually, there's a long patch of grass that allows drivers enough
time to slow their speeds down enough So they're not smacking
into the walls at top speeds Also, it's really difficult for
them to hit a wall straight-on which means that the wall is
going to absorb just a smaller bit of that impact force Oh! And also, there aren't sentient
stone monsters whose sole purpose in life is to crush you in the middle
of your fun-loving death race so, there's also that Secondly, the super kart racers are wearing a ton of protective gear Helmets have been shown to reduce the strength of
impacts to the skull by factors of over 1000 and for everything else there's riding leathers You thought those outfits high-speed motorcyclists wear are just to look cool and increase their aerodynamic flow? NOPE! Those leather body suits
can save lives So, let's get "science-y" If you take into account the coefficient of friction which is literally just the ratio
of the force of friction between two bodies In this case: asphalt and
your delicate human flesh The results of high-speed
sliding are disgusting Pull! For every mile per hour
that you're going over 30 Or every 1.6 kilometers per hour
that you're going over 48 just slightly above the
speeds in most school zones should you hit the ground
and slide to a stop You're gonna lose one millimeter of yourself Since the average thickness
of human skin is 1.3mm, at 31 mph
you hit the ground You're looking at losing most of the skin that's covering up your
delicate inner parts hitting the ground in our
in-game speed of 80 mph that's 5 cm, 2 inches
of your body ground into the pavement like some sort of horrific cheese grater here's a finger to represent it Edward, go in and show what
two inches off a finger will look like Just ground away (finger grinding noises) gross gross and disgusting and that's just the top speed of
the basic kart with the most basic Italian
plumber driving it no offense to Mario but there are a lot faster drivers out there with a lot better karts so I went in and ran all the characters
through our little speed test here on a variety of different kart setups and from our testing Dry Bowser in a "B-Charger" with sick wheels, a superglider and 10 coins yielded the fastest setup without using any items Reaching top speeds of
up to 180 km/hr or well over 110 mph ho-hoooo now we're talking so I had myself a little thinky think and came up with the following thought question 'cause writing this show has
gradually warped my mind into a preverse what-if machine What if... we took the fastest speeds in the game and put the "widdle-bittiest dwivews" behind the wheel then got into a crash who's gonna get into a crash? Who's gonna get into a crash? Yeah, you are, baby Peach,
Baby Daisy, and baby Rosalina If there was ever a reason for
these babies to wet their diapers This would be it you see, I measured them up and the babies are about
60 cm or 24 inches tall and at speeds that high you'd be losing 7cm or 3 inches
from your body In other words, in a crash 1/8 of that child would be rubbed off on the concrete like a human eraser we're no longer talking about just skin we're talking skin, muscle, bone and, if you were super unlucky,
vital organs which is what we call a
"skin avulsion" it's like a scraped knee, but on steroids WHY ARE WE LETTING BABIES BABIES WITH WAY LESS SKIN
THAN THE REST OF US, BY THE WAY DRIVE THESE THINGS? Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to Game Theory "The only show where gruesome child murder
is a regular part of our programming lineup." Actually, no, you know what? No. It's not me It's the games It's these video games don't blame the messenger, guys I just do the horrific math and bring the horrific gruesome truths
of these dark, twisted games like Mario Kart to light and if you think I'm done well then clearly you haven't looked in
that video play bar yet because I haven't even talked about head-on collisions oh boy howdy the head-on collisions we've all run into a Mario Kart
wall once or twice, right? but what Nintendo's cutesy
animations are covering up are the horrific consequences of
every time you plow into that Moo Moo in the meadow Want to know what happens when
you run into a wall head-first at 100 mph? well, I don't have the budget to show you well, at least until YouTube
gives the channel another show but, luckily, I know some people
who can show you two of my most manly of crushes The Mythbusters took a bunch of cars
and plowed 'em into a wall at 100 mph because that's what you do when TV gives you a butt ton of cash You just blow up stuff "Are you ready for some
more wanton destruction?" And this is what happened (crash) It's half its original size! and remember engineers have spent decades
perfecting the car to protect the driver Karts? They got none of that! No bumpers, no airbags, no crumple-tech so, you know, try to avoid
hitting those thwomps and pillars because you are absolutely
murdering your driver every time you do they're experiencing over 2000 Gs 2000 times the force of Earth's gravity when you're going from
100 mph to 0 in a split second And 2000 Gs is more than enough
to rip your organs to shreds and shatter your bones to splinters You know, I wish I wish I did the sound effects for these games because here's what the
game would look like with my sound direction no no no no! (crash)
AHHH! AHHHH! (crash)
OHHH!
(crash) NO NO! PLEASE! (glider opening)
(grunt) NOOOOO! (crash and bones cracking) (funeral bell) And what about minor collisions The little bumps that don't stop
you dead in your tracks In a very literal sense
as we just learned but instead just slow you down a bit Or running into a different driver I mean, angles matter Sometimes you just
graze off the side Well, put your questions to rest because us here at Theorist Labs by using a combination of trigonometry,
algebra, and ye olde pixel measurements developed a formula a real-life, true-to-form formula kinda like Einstein
but a lot less impressive and a lot less important using exhaustive collision tests in-game that'll output your speed reduction experience depending on the angle that you hit the wall or other character at Loyal Theorists, do you see the depths of nerdy that we got to for this episode? if that doesn't deserve a subscribe I don't know what does please subscribe in three two and one So if you take Mario's comparatively
modest speed of 80 mph or 128 kph and barely graze a wall at
just a 5 degree angle he'll still be experiencing a
speed reduction of 20 mph That 32.4 kph In just a fraction of a second and drastic changes like that prompt huge amounts of G forces he's gonna feel 25
times the force of gravity working on his body in that instant it's certainly not enough to be fatal but he's not gonna be feeling too great and remember that is a five degree
brushing of the wall so let's take it to a logical extreme so let's say you're a baby Daisy who's traveling at Dry Bowser-like speeds who irresponsibly downs herself a mushroom An item which instantaneously doubles your speed then all of a sudden you couldn't make that turn
(crash) because there are never enough
straightaways in a Mario Kart game to effectively use a
mushroom in the first place So you inevitably hit a wall traveling over 200 mph Glancing off it at a much more
aggressive 30 degrees well Baby is gonna have herself a big booboo We're talking a speed reduction of
almost 40% and a force of over 115 Gs Consider for a moment that fighter pilots you know, people whose literal job
it is to tolerate high G forces are trained to withstand a mere nine Nine Gs How is a regular adult tolerating this? Let alone, a newborn baby racer? And this is all because the walls in
Mario Kart don't yield at all whereas the walls in most race tracks in the real world are designed to crumple absorbing energy and slowing you down but oh, no, my friends not in the happy-go-lucky
Mushroom Kingdom You're basically running into a
solid cement wall in Mario Kart And that thing ain't gonna collapse you are Oh yeah, but I forgot, you're
not wearing seatbelts (crash) So, instead of crumpling up
with the rest of the car you're just gonna fly head-first into that cement wall
(crash) becoming a decorative red splotch
on the side of Royal Raceway and I know what you're thinking "All of this "All of this is ignoring items "like banana peels, red shells,
blue shells, speed boosters "and literal bombs" Those all probably deserve an episode on their own but for now the true point of today is that Mario Kart is without question one of the single most straight-up
violent games that you've ever played Let that sink in next time you're
power-sliding around Rainbow Road (squishy crash) consider your childhood ruined And remember That's just a theory A Game Theory! Thanks for watching But, seriously, if you're still watching
and haven't subscribed yet well then hit that button
you see onscreen faster than a Baby Peach dissolving into the side of a
Dry Dry Desert wall (squish) You've watched this long so, presumably you're gonna
like our other videos too Or, if you wanna watch more here's two more about the
science of Musroom Kingdom I especially like the Bullet Bill one but anyway I gotta go I'll see see you next week for
something equally scary, but a little less scientific.
The F-Zero series will give MatPat an aneurysm.
I wonder if there is a loophole regarding the seat belt law due to it being "karts" and not cars?
5' 11'' is 155cm? Really inspiring confidence in the numbers there... he missed a number from his Google "plug the numbers" in.
Alright I'm out. I used to love the channel but he can't even check how tall 155cm is. It's going downhill with cringe and click bait. It's been fun, but Mat doesn't care like he used to
Since this has been pointed out I'm not going to talk about it much. 155cm is an error, period. There is no need to be overly dramatic like Hurr durr, MatPats channel is going downhill. Nothing a regular annotation couldn't fix, like other episodes already did (e.g. Assassins Creed jumping episode).
Now to what I think. It was entertaining to me and I am glad it got more sciency again. Different audiences are pleased with different content after all. The only thing that stung a little bit to me was the end of the seat belt part. I don't know any better, but claiming that Nintendo is doing illegal advertisement felt to me a little bit odd (even though the presented data seems to be valid).
But I liked it overall and would love to see more like this.
Watching this i realised the maximum highway speed in the USA is apparently a lot lower than here? 65mph is approximately 105kmph, the national maximum speed here is 130 kmph which is about 80.8 mph. Driving 65 mph at almost every highway would seem annoyingly slow to me for a highway
Although I learned the dangers of speeding from driver's ed, I enjoyed learning about the amount of force that occurs from crashing into a wall.
On which stream was the Mario surprise visit?
Dafuq are you guys doing here if you hate MatPat that much lol. THEY ARE THEORIES. INVENTIONS, IDEAS AND IMAGINATION. You don't know how much work it takes to CREATE and put together all those theories, then edit them in a awesome way. and the only thing you care is a single conversion error and if the theory is an actual law. You better be all out.