Game Theory: DRINK ME Dri̹̣̇̏n̲͙̒͒K͈̥̎̌̄͘ ṃ̛͊͗̒̋Ė̼̦̝̩̀͛̍ ̡̘͓̑͐͋D̐̀̀rIN̩͎̂͞k ḿ̖̰̒ē̛̗͒̂ (OnlyCans)

matpat have you ever done a theory about this cool indie game uh which one there's a lot of them out there well it's an indie game that's got lots of disturbing hidden lore i might need a bit more to go off of uh it's a parody indie game with lots of disturbing lore hidden energy elements and a dead kid i mean if i had a nickel for every time i've covered one of those it's a parody indie game with lots of disturbing lore hidden energy elements a dead kid and it's all about soda oh yeah yeah totally soda drinker pro played that one back on gt live in 2016 it's crazy game really interesting though never did a theory about it no i'm talking about an entirely different sort of scene parody game with hidden lore energy and dead kids you know the one where the cans moan a lot and one is a disfigured humanoid monster that longs for the sweet release of death oh you're talking about only cans yeah i've done an episode about that and it's this one right here hello internet welcome to game theory the show that's thirsty for knowledge that is and welcome to cannibalism week here on the three channels three theories all about feasting on your fellow creatures on food theory we're exploring whether the m ms are cannibals on film theory we're re-examining my classic theory that wall-e's 700-year space journey is actually fueled by the flesh of dead passengers and over here we're washing it all down with a nice tall glass of carbonated human souls call it an episode exposing the aluminum otty if you will friends if there's one thing you know about me it's that historically i'm a diet coke fan it's become my brand at this point and by that i mean liking diet coke is my brand the the diet coke trademark is actually owned by the coca-cola company for now so it should come as no surprise that your cake 2100 on the game theorist subreddit drew my attention to the newly released indie game only cans thirst date a riff on the um uh adult leaning content platform only fans i can mention that one without getting demonetized right maybe i guess we're gonna find out together friends anyway when the game dropped on itchio and later on steam a lot of people just assumed it was a joke game it was only there for the mimi's and honestly don't blame them it's a game where you spray water on soda cans and take sexy time photos of them all the while with them moaning in appreciation there is an uncomfortable amount of moaning as you might imagine from that short montage the joke wears off kind of fast but man will you look at those cans no really look at the cans the can renders are shockingly high quality and the new flavors that are getting revealed are always funny with names like raw meat for cheese veggie broth and sardine surprise but because there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of gameplay going on here most people probably don't make it all the way to the bottom of the list where instead of the usual play more to unlock tease leading us to the next character we instead have a phrase of please don't unlock huh suspicious and if doki doki literature club has taught me anything it's that you don't underestimate warning screens i mean that one teased you with warnings of highly disturbing scenes and boy howdy did that one deliver only cans meanwhile kicks things off with a warning screen about body horror also bdsm clowns but you know the body horror thing is the one that really stands out in a game about aluminum cans but oh boy does that body horror exist if you choose to ignore the warnings and open the final can contained in an ominous box labeled do not release keep contained and just simply no who's in the box what's in the box ladies and gentlemen today we're dealing with a conspiracy of the highest degree one that pours out of the game and has us exploring websites source code and even altering the game files themselves ddlc style all to piece together the real horror story that's bubbling under the surface of what would otherwise appear to be a simple meme game step one in solving this mystery involves piecing together the main lore using the fragments we get via the in-game descriptions our story centers around shi's sodas which dates all the way back to 1744 when the she's family made a voyage across the atlantic presumably part of the early american settlers traveling from europe by 1844 she's had a full production company under the control of john she's the first who apparently had a real knack for thinking on his feet take for instance one incident where the production facility broke down right before a charity ball and he had the bright idea to quote throw a few fresh veggies and some expired chemicals into a nearby pot thereby giving birth to his new flavor veggie broth with morphine eventually the company passes into the hands of john she's the third who is the closest thing that we have to a main character in the story after early success with his controversial blueberry tart flavor he starts using his soda empire for political power throughout the 80s in 1983 she's the third releases a special limited edition jelly bean flavor as a way to quote connect with high-ranking politicians of the time he follows this up shortly later in 1986 by releasing 2100 cans of a limited drink to investors giving special rings out to this elite group thus securing his own personal lumen atti that one worked better than illuminati right yeah anyway that new flavor's name lemon party by the way do not google that trust me on this one just trust me on this one do not look it up of course no indie game would be complete without a dead kid to add to the drama enter john she's the fourth beloved son of john she's the third who shortly after the release of lemon party dies somewhere in his mid-20s under mysterious circumstances based on a letter that we see in the game's dlc hot and steamy we can infer that john cheese iii thought that john the fourth's wife was the real one to blame for his son's mysterious disappearance here's that letter dear joy i hope you're doing well my dear i know we haven't spoken since the passing of my son slash your husband but i've decided to create a cheese drink in your honor blushing rose i hope blushing rose will be the olive branch we need after some rocky times between us i know i've made some accusations about my son's death but those are in the past now i'm working hard to honor his legacy and i would love for you to be a part of those efforts please enjoy john she's the third so was the son murdered by the wife apparently john iii thought so at least for a while but what's really going on with this death don't worry we're gonna get back to all this already struggling to deal with his loss things go from bad to worse for john she's the third when his company gets bought out by a russian bootleg brand named she's noticed the different spelling same pronunciation though the new russian owners immediately ousted john she's the third from the company and start rolling into a string of bad decisions releasing an onslaught of flavors that they think is gonna appeal to the american palette tangy ketchup mustard and mayonnaise again these are soda flavors now with more time on his hands john she's the third starts what the game calls a decade-long voyage of mourning but he wasn't just trying to get over his grief of losing his son and his company in true indie game form he was on a mission to bring his son back from the dead from the various canned descriptions we can piece together the fact that john shees was researching the occult in the supernatural he starts in romania researching local customs and legends in 2012 he befriends a high-powered egyptian businessman who quote grants him access to the country's ancient relics and as we learn from the juicy melon can after several years of discussion john shees and ichiro yuri of cyber life industries found the she's research and development facility this was allegedly in the name of soda-based research but we can assume that something else was going on at cyber life the project of a father who is still looking for a way to get over his son's death or more accurately a way to overcome his son's death bit by bit john iii sells off she's production facilities all across the world to help fund a very important secret project project s which will ultimately be his magnum opus the culmination of nearly three decades of research he creates his final drink and the final drink of the main game thirstborn the r d project ominously labeled do not release john the third in his desperate quest to bring back his lost son finally succeeds in creating this this abomination as we spritz and take pictures of she's thirstborn we hear its tortured cries father you've made me the flesh and the can are one i feel my insides fizz i feel stronger i will be see you and upon completing the thank level for freeing me the soul may move on but the flesh shall grow are you proud of me father as we read the description thirst born is both can and human soul combined in one perfect organism but it's the next line that changes everything it was the first of many and this is where things really start to get weird because obviously they weren't weird already all the spraying and snapping of anthropomorphized cans that we've been doing up to this point wasn't just a gameplay gimmick or something done for the lols they are actual human souls trapped inside of the cans and the game outright confirms this if you play the opposite way than you're intended in the new dlc hot and steamy there's a can for the hybrid flavor blueberry melon twist which we're told is a fusion of two soulful classics and if you completely botch the minigame you're treated to this oh two people two souls trapped inside of the can against their will remember that letter that john she's the third wrote to his son's wife joy the woman he suspected as being involved in his premature death and how he said that he had a special flavor especially for her was that quote i'm working hard to honor his legacy and i would love for you to be a part of those efforts convinced that she was to blame i think that he trapped her soul inside that blushing rose flavor i mean the can does wear a bridal veil alluding to her in fact being john the fourth's wife revenge is indeed a drink best served cold ideally chilled in a refrigerator and poured over ice so is that it your classic tale of a soda barren using the occult infused carbonated beverages with living souls well we're not quite done you see on the only cans website if you check the source code which you should always do in any lore based indie games you see a conversation happening between two freelancers ollie and sebastian hired on by she's llc to create their website it goes a little something like this can't help but think something weird is going on though why was h s funded through the fisheries department tax breaks i guess above my pay grade and if you open up the games files with the new hot and steamy dlc you see a notepad text file labeled hot and steamy h and s open up that file change it to read fisheries and all of a sudden you get something very unexpected in the game a hidden audiophile cave has a pocket of air it's breathable i'm gonna cut the scuba yeah the air is clear little musty but it's air what can you see there's some kind of soft material spreading across the walls of the cave it's pulsing it's definitely organic it's a it's everywhere like a fungus but fleshy i don't know i'm never seen anything like this made from silicate roger we see it it's covered in slime quickly what's on the platform is there a box on the platform affirmative mr cheese we'll retrieve it and bring it up over and out but what is it sounds to me like john she's the third found the secret everlasting life buried deep in the ocean and he brought it back to the surface so his thirst-born son could rise again as the canned description for sardine surprise says in my years of traveling the world alone i've learned much about what weights down in the abyss what they left behind for us and now with shi's fisheries we shall bring it to the surface for my son and there's even more to the story elsewhere in the website source code we get yet another ollie sebastian conversation i'm just doing it this way because i forgot my slack login again and i t are a bunch of pricks old school style yeah hey polly can you stop asking the narrator about jon he's not allowed to say anything and you know it sorry this whole work for hire sich is driving me nuts don't change it again please sebastian please and wouldn't you know but there's also a notepad text file labeled narrator in the game's folder so why don't we do what they tell us ask the narrator about jon by changing the text in the notepad file that gets us yet another hidden audio [Applause] moving up the file weapon's hot sparkle absolutely i've got to don't shoot he won't hurt anyone look at him look at him father what the is that thing he's my son he won't hurt you just just let me finish my work my very important work don't you have a soul he's got a gun in the description for thirst born it says that john she's the third gave his life for project s though it's never really specified what exactly that means but this scene shows us that they mean it quite literally we hear firsthand how john she's the third was shot down in the middle of taking care of his son his son the can monster but there's one final mystery in all of this the future of she's llc we read via the descriptions that after john the third's death the company has sent reeling only to find its footing again with the flavor cookies and cream a flavor proposed by an intern named suzy o'fishpark it's so popular that suzio quickly rises to take over the board of the company nothing out of the ordinary about that right wrong in that description for cookies and cream there's one little line that sticks out like a sore thumb quote oh it was john she's the fourth's favorite flavor of ice cream that's just a coincidence coincidence i think not it's enough to get a theorist sense of tingling could susie somehow be connected with john iv it feels like the game is trying to make a connection here but what is it well doesn't the name suzio fishbark seem a bit odd sure enough if you rearrange the letters you get yourself this she's four is back thank you for freaking me the soul may move on but the flesh shall grow are you proud of me father soul reclaimed by his father reborn as a can and then released by us lives on to move the company forward into the next generation collecting souls to be used for our consumption but hey that's just a theory a game theory thanks for watching and one final very special thank you to yoylecake2100 for recommending this episode as well as the only cans conspiracy discord page for digging deep to find the secret lore hiding the true mysteries of this game seriously only cans is a blast that is absolutely under seen right now so please please please give it a play if you're at all interested or if you just want to support a really awesome creative team who made this thing possible and hey cannibalism weekend continues a cannibalism can i didn't even think of that until literally recording the sentence cannibalism weekend continues onward there are still two other episodes that you have to go watch right now they're on screen as we speak like did you know that there's even more evidence to prove that wall-e is secretly about cannibalism it's true or did you know that the m ms may or may not be secret cannibals of their own kind those episodes are on screen right now so click um satisfy your appetite for knowledge the knowledge what else would you be hungering for at this point

Channel: The Game Theorists

Views: 4,779,830

Rating: 4.9532337 out of 5

Keywords: onlycans, onlycans thirst date, onlycans game, onlycans full game, only cans game, cannibalism, only cans thirst date, only cans: thirst date, game theorists, game theory, matpat, game theory onlycans, thirst trap, thirst date, soda, onlycans: thirst date, onlycans gameplay, onlycans all endings, onlycans explained, only cans explained, only cans all endings

Id: N-I7ktbVVVg

Length: 16min 5sec (965 seconds)

Published: Sat May 08 2021