[Full Episode] Kannaway Champions with Nick Lowery: Episode 13 - Allison DuBois

welcome everybody to our 12th edition of canada champions and i think by now if you've been lucky enough to see our interviews with olympic gold medalists and with sports psychologists lee steinberg one of the great super agents in the game the agent for patrick mahomes who's quarterbacking my kansas city chiefs tonight on a monday night game as we record this but we have a variety of people that can help shed perspective for instance from a woman's point of view not just demands from an athlete's point of view from a psychologist's point of view and in this case with alison duvois a celebrity also which is an interesting role we all sometimes have to deal with in different ways but that celebrity was achieved because of her remarkable gift for um helping police investigations of murders that couldn't be solved and then subsequently uh because she was the subject uh behind a series called medium and we want to talk about her insights into living life without regrets and also um how she can give us an insight into looking back and maybe by helping get a perspective on looking back live our lives with more intention and be more alive today so allison what an honor to have you on thank you so much thank you thank you nick thanks for having me well um we don't just want to talk about sports what we really want to talk about is the the habits of a champion for life itself um and i would love to start with uh the champion in you that had to raise her game instead of it just being this gift of hearing and and seeing i suppose and i don't want to put words in your mouth but but perceiving the words the life uh energy of people that have passed on and realizing that this was a gift that could help other people tell us how that happened you know i've actually been able to see the dead since i was six years old so i just assumed that everybody could i only had my own perspective as we all do we only have our own perspective so we assume everybody's like us that's not true as we find out as we get older as far as helping people i don't think i was really using it to help people until my late 20s when i started doing i'd go to what was called a circle and it's where you sit around with other people and you pull impressions off of each other and i just went for fun i wasn't actually there to be like a world-class medium i wanted to be a lawyer you know i got a degree in political science and history at asu so that was my path i'd taken my lsats and here i found myself being in demand as a medium to where i was booked out two years and i just had to choose a path and it was really hard because i wanted to be a lawyer since i was in the fifth grade i carried an attache case and wore a penny load first it was just gonna be my path but after interning and homicide that's when i started seeing things before the person was killed in the crime scene photos because it was my job to sort the crime scene photos to go to court and i realized that i could do something to help and fortunately i had a very supportive boss there in the county attorney's office and he said let's see what you can do can you head tap jurors and say i said i'm not sure i don't know i can head tap most people pull impressions off of them so i took a jury and helped with the assembly on capitol cases and we won and that was the beginning of that path for me which also happened to be during the time medium was percolating with kelsey grammer being our executive producer did not know that i know kelsey personally that is cool yes he was our executive producer i was very good friends with them i met him on a pilot called the oracles which he was executive producing and they took 120 people with abilities and we all had to compete against each other for the top five oracles and i ended up being one of the oracles which was not my intention when i went but i just realized i was just more accurate than most when i was there and so kelsey his assistant called up and said kelsey wants to make a television series based on your life and that's how it happened and he wrote the blurb for my first book don't kiss him goodbye which was a new york times bestseller and he was great so he was in some of our episodes he played uh the devil well that's appropriate i went to the vhm fashion music awards after kicking free field goals against the buffalo bills for the new york jets and um two seats away from jerry hall who was then married to mick jagger and yes he was in front of me and and anyway it was uh he is an amazing human being but let's get back to you and what was the first reference because they're going to be skeptical people i'm a christian by the way i'm just open i'm open to the lessons of the spirit beyond the book of the bible just being aware of the through experience of what is real and so the purpose of this show is not to ever brainwash anyone anybody but us all more references so if you could also because i want people to realize how real this is um give us the first major um discovery that you help the police with and how that then became something that they really took you even more seriously i was actually working multiple cases at a time but when i first started out elizabeth smart was one of my first that i worked with a search and rescue on and i had said his name's brian which it turned out that the perpetrator's name was brian but he was going by a different name a more religious zealot sort of a name of mormonism i believe it was mormonism sounds right but a sect of that will say and i said where they're yelling for her she can hear you but she's further out than you're looking so i knew that she was still in the woods area i did see california connected to her so i knew california would come into play for her which is where he had taken her to i believe it was san francisco don't quote me it was a long time ago but there were just certain markers that i was picking up on that actually ended up panning out to be very accurate and that was really one of my first i guess more high profile ones that i was asked to look at and then opal jennings was a little girl in tarrant county in texas and the first episode the pilot episode of medium has me going to texas to work my first case with the texas rangers and she um she was the reason but they changed it to a male child because we didn't want to re-victimize the families by recreating the situations so yeah i i'd lost count i don't even know anymore they're just all part of me you know you get sucked into them you care do they come to you randomly sometimes no i've got people who have boundaries with the living will be fine with their boundaries with the dead people that are have weak boundaries with the living will have weak boundaries with the dead so it's just an energy thing and how we're wired so when it comes to the dead if i go to a haunted place yeah they're just there but normally they know that somebody they're going to bring somebody to me that wants to hear from them or that i'm supposed to be instrumental in helping they'll bring the living person to me they'll just call me or email me and i end up talking to them i don't have to go get people it's not like that it's like let me go get more work no i got enough i'm good there's almost a spiritual level uh intuitive level of connection that they feel a magnet that they feel through you um i'd like to make the transition if you will to why this matters to any of us to me when we look to our life if we're i've always felt this way i've always thought what am i going to look back i've always had a sense what am i going to look back at emotionally but what am i going to look back on what did i do with my life right and um and then the the second part of that of course is what's my purpose am i living my purpose am i really doing what god intended me to am i really using the gifts i have so um help us for those of you that are watching i mean every one of us has this whether it's at breakfast and dinner whether it's you know and random time we're hit with that sense because it affects everything in our lives am i living my purpose sure ironically i've never had to ask myself that because i have such faith that i'm being led down the path that i'm supposed to go down but i can tell you that you absolutely have exceeded expectations on the other side of what they would ask of you so don't be so hard on yourself you've got a very pure heart i can say this i've read over 10 000 people and when i bring the dead through they show me what mattered to them and what they regret so the big regret i know is not saying the things they should have to their loved ones or the love of their life getting away you know that they let them go so sometimes it centers around that but all of all of it centers around whether or not they lived their truth and were true to the energy of who they are you know my dad always said live life large and make no apologies for who you are and i've tried to live my life that way and if you live in that way at the end of the day you're going to be content with where you're at and i do like to point out to people stop caring so much what other people think those people won't be at your funeral they don't actually care so if you measure people on that scale it simplifies life a lot it does i like that i'm gonna use that thank you well one of the things i was uh watching again uh one of our recent interviews with dr john elliott um and uh we came up with of course one of the classic things that a leader which is part of this you're leading people to a bigger life a bigger vision bigger connection right with the notion that we sign up when we try to be great whether it's selling more you know cbd products or whether it's being the best football player or being the best medium being the best mother father but it's criticism and right now with social media if you watched the movie social dilemma uh it's the finest thing i've seen in at least five years it's so important to everything that we're dealing with right now with this divisive hateful uh cancer culture yeah so and that's all around criticism people that don't even know you think they do right horrible things i know you've had to deal with that i certainly got to deal with the kicker by the way you know um you can be hero and goat in about one tenth of a second you can go from one to the other and and and then being at peace with yourself through that it's been great training for me so uh as you look at because you just said don't worry about what other people say but if you're inundated with it it's like a rain a constant drizzle you know and you deal with it one day and you're over it but then suddenly something new comes up tell us your perspective on that on the idea maybe something you've experienced yourself but the idea of unfair criticism because if we can uh continue to have compassion but then wall off the vulnerability to be downgraded in our own self-view if somebody says something that's completely without foundation and mean spirited but just hits us yes and i have a lot of friends who are also famous that i've watched you know i'd see on tmz that that their divorce was announced and then being put through the grind and it's it's hard to be a public figure and they're not public figures aren't given enough credit for the pressure that they do deal with and i know there's some perks that go along with it but i think antichrist was the first title i had to take a bite out of and be like oh you're gonna give me that kind of power okay well if you really believe i'm the antichrist that was a very stupid thing for you to say because what couldn't i do to you so i knew they didn't really believe i was the antichrist so you know when i was a kid sticks and stones i try and look at it that way and if you're a public figure and i mean this for younger people who are famous or who are have notoriety hire an assistant to sift through your social media and to kind of do whack a troll that's what we call it me and my assistant whack a troll and she goes in and she whacks a troll i never see what they write i feel great that's a win-win you just can't always look at your own social media and i saw things written about me that were absolutely unfair and um that was baseless but they can write anything these days because they just say oh they don't work for us anymore you know they they were a freelancer so you're a public figure they can say pretty much anything so you just have to be good with yourself and have a center to yourself and trust that you're living your best life and don't let other people define who you are you know you know who you are is there a daily discipline i know that those that have time to meditate and to to get exercise to have rituals that center them give them a release but then they just feel more whole so they are stronger less vulnerable is there a ritual for you during your day i wish i was as healthy as you are nick because i'd like to say it's exercise but it's not i don't like to exercise i do i do um like the mantra inhale willingness exhale willfulness so i'll do the deep inhaling and then let go of the willfulness and that really does help inhale inhale willingness right and exhale willfulness oh yes and yeah this this movie have you seen social dilemma yet not yet no uh well it it is literally and they go into detail with all of these people that we're looking at ways to build business build viewers and build how long they're on as well and so it tweaks the part of the brain that is immediately reactive uh and that is willful so it's not really connected to the spiritual wisdom part of the brain right or the other um you know older lizard brain right acts based on food and fundamental purposes um and you know when you when you react when you react to people that are strangers you're giving them some sort of power as though they know you so block delete done you know you don't you don't have to deal with them it's um you're validating that they're there in in a powerful purpose in your life and they're a stranger just don't give them that power so i don't you know one thing can away our company is received all sorts of rewards our ceo blake won stevie awards and a lot of awards in the past year almost too many to count and guess what happens when you win those awards you get even more criticism and we're in an industry uh that competitive stability and you know right also some unfair criticism and non-scientific uh criticisms that are cloaked in scientific um for you as you began to get more recognition with medium with the show um and it was such a beautiful show patricia arquette did an excellent job thank you elsie did too i mean the choices you made for instance the one about changing it from a girl to a boy just because why would you traumatize it and have somebody relive their trauma it would never yeah so tell me what that was like as you began to get more recognition began to potentially lose control as the people in social dilemma said you know with all the best intent with social media helping everybody democratizing information it also created these demons this pandora's box of other unall uh unanticipated uh you know consequences and so now suddenly you're getting more famous and so there are things that we you can't control how did you handle that you know the hardest part wasn't even me i can handle pretty much anything you throw my way i've handled a lot in my life but it was my daughters so when they were little and they'd come home with certain kids that just wanted to be in our house because their mom was a fan that got a little hard to handle because i'd open the door and the mom would fall to her knees and be like oh my god um that was something or then the kid wasn't really my daughter's friend they were just using them to meet john jay and rich and the jonas brothers you know and then wanted to go home so it was hard for my daughters learning how to be the children of a celebrity and my husband was actually really good at it i think he had a pretty good time and he was very supportive i was so lucky um but for me you're young i did i married joe when i was first i was 21 yes 27 years everybody this past week yes we just said he i'm wearing the earrings he got me yeah so that's that's unusual too frankly to have a young marriage that sustains and lives on so hollywood wasn't easy to to survive we lived in beverly hills that's like an 85 divorce rate and we work together which has to up it even more so we weren't getting along all the time then so don't think that we're living just this storybook we've fought for our relationship and it makes you stronger um but then i had women at my book signings hitting on joe because he's the kind of husband they want i'm pretty sure people were praying for my death so they could step into my shoes because he's such a catch as a husband you know it's hard to find a man that's that supportive and loving but anyways i had to remind them that i'm actually his wife they're at my book signing and to step back so being a celebrity is different for sure okay so so now let's move on to something you can really i think help a lot of us with which is um people that have helped that you've reached that are have passed that have helped give a perspective on what they regret and what they're proud of so that all of us have an exclamation point with our show today right what not to waste your time with and what to focus your heart and your soul with on a consistent basis what are give us two one or two examples of real people that spoke to you very clearly about this well i will say this um when i bring them through they'll give me a number which is the age they reverted to and most of the time it'll be the age they fell in love got married or were having small children or had small children it could be a championship i've brought through a number of athletes and rock stars it can be something along those lines are their heaven i mean they love it um but it seems to really center around love love is if you love big in your life and you connect with people and you really feel the energy from them and they get you and you vibe that's what they care about they're playing poker on the other side with their buddies from world war ii you know talking about hey sorry that you didn't make it back and the ones that didn't make it back are saying but tell me how was your wife what was she like how many kids did you have and they're catching up when half of them died and the other half survived that war so on the other side everything is as it should be everybody that you lost is returned to you so i know we look at death as this horrible thing but they always tell me that we're the dead ones we get hung up on the smallest thing that doesn't matter at the end of the day and they're over there in a 1960s uh christmas cocktail party listening to frank sinatra i want to be there it sounds awesome so i'd say living people care way too much about what strangers think of them and i don't mean celebrities i mean just everyday people that wanted to keep up with pictures on social media who cares you know it's just after covet i think a lot of people have recalibrated and readjusted their priorities i hope what about for you for you and joe with cobit and being stuck indoors um how do you how about you made it through that i'm an aquarius i love it i love being inside i'm like six feet back you're too close yeah that's how i live my life anyways so i was okay with that i feel terrible for the people that are suffering you know i pray for those people and their families i i have learned though when we get back to some semblance of normalcy i'm not going to fill my social calendar like i had it before i'm going to take my time in life and not feel so rushed all the time i let our our lives kind of spin out of control with obligation and obligation is one of the things that the dead always tell me and they tell their their children when i bring them through for them they say don't live your life out of obligation to others not out of obligation out of passion but not out of obligation so i find that important all right well then the next question for me is some people aren't as in touch with themselves to be able to discriminate between passion and obligation guilt becomes you know this driving force but it really has nothing to do with passion but what advice would you have for being able to once again set boundaries and say this is not about something i really care about this is just because somebody told me i should do it somebody maybe 30 years ago that i had to do this otherwise i was disappointing other people i've heard that in readings i had a daughter say what is my the dad the first thing he said was sell the house and i said are you looking to sell his house and she said well i promised him i'd keep it in the family and i said your dad doesn't actually care now because that house is in his heaven like the image of it he can walk through it whenever he wants is as it was before yeah so anything that you loved even if it's something that has to do with a home we put energy into loving our home so sometimes when you die you go back to being five years old and you run downstairs and hug your mom and dad it's it's whatever you want it to be but they're moments you actually lived in your life so you have to create your versions of heaven now so that you have them to access on the other side otherwise you didn't do something right because you don't have these happy moments these moments of pride and joy and you know i accomplished this i did this i love her i i was there for her you know the parents that are there for their kids come through loving them just like they did when they were alive and i would just say if people are worried about living a great life you know whether you're in touch or not living out of obligation means you're doing it because either you're inheriting the house you're doing it because you feel guilty because nobody else wants the job of taking care of mom and when you live your life that way and i bring the elderly through after they pass well they're not elderly then they're like 20 but when i bring them through after they pass they always say i didn't want to be a burden i didn't want to be a burden to you you didn't have to be there it's okay and they want to release them from this feeling of guilt for not being able to get there in time because some people choose not to take care of their parents and the last thing they want us to feel is guilt so for the ones that choose not to it's all right and for the ones that do it out of obligation your mom your dad your grandparents they know you're doing it out of obligation they feel it that's not good either so you have to find some sort of a balance in life so that it doesn't feel like an obligation but more of a passion that you're doing this with grandma because you only have so many months left with her and you have to enjoy the company of that person otherwise it's out of obligation and if they don't know you're there because they have because they're coma or they're incoherent because they're on so much medication um they don't care in a sense that you're there because they're going through a metamorphosis of letting go they'd rather you be there when they're not sick so be there when the people don't need you by their by their deathbed be there in the everyday you know you can get up and go see somebody right now that that won't be here later yeah so people need to be mindful of that i think they let time get away from them and kick themselves for not seeing grandma more not visiting their aunt you know my uh my dear friend dr judson tillinghas who was president of the maricopa medical association about seven years ago a very wise man he said as he's watched he's a pulmonary doctor he's just retired he said most of the and i don't want to talk about health care but but just he says most of the costs of health care are usually because there's a family member that's dying right and one person in a family feels guilty because they have not been loving had not been present right make up for it by extending a life that's for all intents and purposes is over and most importantly the person that's dying is ready to go right that's like 90 of the the medical bill um and who cares about medical bills you know right in comparison to these but it almost feels it feels cruel to pull them back and i had that happen in my family with my grandma jenny and they sent her to the hospital from the assisted living she was having complications she had to do not resuscitate and i had a family member to have them give her the antibiotics and she's a rosie the riveter of course she bounced back but she had parkinson's and so then she lived like another five years in that state and that's not what my grandma wanted she was a 5 foot 10 redhead that was just kind of a badass she wouldn't have wanted to be in that state of mind you know that's not who she was it was actually her big fear so i know what you're saying and we should give people the right i'd like to be able to put it in a will and say hey if i'm absolutely not going to come back mentally yeah just give me a little dose of some happiness and wish me good night i'm fine with that and that and that's hard but you know one thing about people uh i've noticed when my parents died 10 and 12 years ago uh they're like i'm so sorry you know and they've been married 57 years they've had full lives and it was nice to know people cared but there was a tone almost of were surprised they died i'm like none of us is getting out people think it's contagious if they talk about it somehow they might be next it doesn't work that way yeah i told you uh when you interviewed me uh this past weekend um i've always felt a comfort with being there for people that are going they're gonna die and i don't know what that is but it feels like such an honor to do that yeah i'm not sure that everybody's supposed to be that way but not not everybody's wired like that yeah give somebody a sense of peace and being loved in that moment because uh maybe it's just because i know we're equal we're going to all have that and i hope so that for me obviously that and that's that sense of real peace rather than the phony piece yes many of us allow i think people want to control too much they want to control um they don't want it to make them uncomfortable they can't handle it or you know so not everybody's wired for it the fact that you find a moment of peace with them it's almost a spiritual connection that you would have with them where you just looking at them like i know and you're gonna be okay and them looking at you as though to say i know and i'm ready to go and when i do readings they always say i was ready to go i'm totally fine with this so people that are beating themselves up for that don't and for the people who fight over so much can i just say this as a psa for all of your your listeners and viewers i see more families divided over the money and the stuff get it figured out before your parent dies and if you're a parent have a will that you've given to multiple people so that it's it can't be contested and start giving your thing when you see somebody start giving their things away they're gonna die if they start giving you their wedding ring or you know i want you to have this and that's them starting to close up shop so that's one of the signs you'll see when somebody's almost ready to go but absolutely i'm going to give my rings to my daughters before i go what am i going to need them for i want them to have them and i don't want them fighting over stupid things as though they're fighting over my love they fight over objects as though it was the parents love and it's not because one kid maybe got more love or they think you know you were the favorite so the other sibling will want to take more than their share because they feel like they deserve it i see it all the time and it just divides families and that is not what they want so get your affairs in order in a cool way and i'm joe and i are going to give money to our girls before we die um just so we could watch them spend it and enjoy it you know i just want to be able to see them enjoy it well um fighting over unnecessary or lesser things yeah we see that all the time right now with politics i wanted to i wrote a prayer on facebook a few days ago for all those fighting cobit and all those that are not and i said please don't make this political right somebody had to um so somebody is always going to sink i know that level as a tangent to what you just said what advice would you give to those people that have to be right because i know i made that mistake too to have to be right and perpetuate attention discord the fight itself right versus allowing things just to be and that person you can agree to disagree right and not letting it just dominate your state as a human being for way past its its requirement in in my experience the people that do that are the ones who've run out of family and friends that will listen to them so they take to social media they want to be heard but best case scenario maybe they changed somebody's mind worst case scenario they just alienated a bunch of people it's like what are you doing people just stop you know right now we're in a moment an energy of construct or destruct and the people that are posting negative things like that are tearing down other people energy wise that's destructive people who continue to live their lives maybe say a prayer for the people that are in need and continue on are living far happier lives than the people that are busy tearing other people down and when they die they're going to come through and say i should have spent my time differently that wasn't the best use of my time so they're not creating moments of heaven so um number one heaven the bible has you know paid with roads you know streets of gold and all of these materialistic yeah you know another religion that's 80 virgins you know whatever yeah that's not that's not there just so you know i've seen what's on the other side the the virgins aren't there yeah so so what is what is uh a vision like something that just moved me a few minutes ago as you're saying that that house that they're missing is with them now with the with the lamps in it in the way that it was when they were the happiest that's what it looks like if it's christmas comfort isn't it it's beautiful to see when they let me see glimpses and i'll say you know your grandma's sitting on the davenport and she'll say oh i remember that davenport um and and i said there's like a black cat laying on the back of it so you know pets also translate to the other side because you love them they have little souls so they usually end up with one of your relatives until you get there yeah so the other side isn't streets paved and gold it's not like that it's what you're doing now it's your versions of heaven it's going to be the best moments of your life collectively playing out for you to choose where you want to be at that time you might choose to go back to childhood and play in the snow with your friends you know building snowmen and sledding you know it becomes whatever your heart held in it it all has to do with your energy of emotion and who you connected with and then you'll see all your friends on the other side too when a celebrity dies i can see in my mind who's high-fiving them and welcoming welcoming them over and i'm just like that's so cool so celebrities find each other too on the other side with their friends so allison dubrovn uh first of all just so refreshing to have a different kind of interview today give me if you would share with us two or three people or maybe perhaps just one who is others might know about that you admire the most because of the way they're living their life now oh my gosh i'm so focused on work let me think well first of all you're living your truth i would put you there on that list because not only did you push yourself in times where you told you could you couldn't do something that you were gonna fail and you kept pushing anyways just shows the enormity of your spirit and i think the people that are always projecting that they're more than they are are the ones that aren't connecting with people in a passionate loving way but you do that i've seen you at soup kitchens you know handing out food to the the homeless and you love being there and it's so inspiring so if everybody live their life the way you're living it i think they'd be pretty happy i would like to hook you up with a pretty lady though you need a little partner over there away from me for a second thank um you know i kind of like judge judy because she doesn't hold back what she wants to say i was going to be a judge that's why i was going to law school so when i watch her and she tells people exactly what she thinks of them i love it it's so honest and if people are offended by hearing the truth they haven't heard it enough in their life maybe people haven't been telling them the truth so i find it very refreshing to see how she lives her life um i know so many great people if i name a third person then they're gonna wonder why they weren't the third so i'm gonna stick with the two well um that that's awesome so uh let's go in the direction of a young person let's say just coming out of high school or college who's done a lot of thinking about what what am i going to do with my life um you know you've touched on this to some degree already today but uh you know i remember coming out of college thinking if i don't make the right decision now or what what path will i choose the wrong one and and realizing that choosing the path is one thing but the commitment to make that path work right even better because if it's wrong you'll know it's wrong and you'll have no regrets right you can move on to whatever is the the lesson you've learned that is a much better choice it's halfway that gets us in trouble sometimes the path chooses you and that's that was my experience because i chose a path but the universe said no you don't get it you don't get to be a lawyer you're going to be a medium you're going to help people make sense of life and death so here i am and that's what i do but as far as kids coming out of school i find that most of them get a degree that they'll that's not going to be the career they go into so i got a degree in political science and history fantastic now i didn't get a law degree so it kind of doesn't really it doesn't help me right but i find because i'm on the alumni association at arizona state university so i see the kids graduating every year and them being nervous and we talk to them about that and i always say move in one direction and the universe will tell you when you need to be somewhere else and and you're you end up there but just adapt and keep rolling with the direction the momentum that you're being given and figure out what's at the end of the the rainbow there and just keep going with it and then you'll get towards the end of life and you'll look back and say wow that was a great ride not the one i thought i was going to take but it was great so um when you asked me a similar question i talked about mistakes and if we can somehow convince ourselves and give ourselves permission to make as many uh mistakes to give ourselves permission to be in the place where we can make as many we may not but to make as many mistakes as we can because it actually gets us faster to where we need to be as opposed to intentional mistakes that are sabotaging ourselves um and so many people everyone not so many everyone has made mistakes everyone every great athlete has made mistakes every president's made mistake the president is imperfect by the way why on earth do we think that our president is going to have a perfect background if he has or she has a perfect background then there's something over here that's just completely ignored they will eventually you know come to the surface so people are used to photoshopping everything i think they're trying to photoshop people's lives and people need to really you know get their heads straight and and recognize how outlandish their expectations have become those are the people that put on their social media just be yourself and then you you're yourself and then they fought you for it it's those people they don't really mean be yourself they mean be the version of yourself i like you can't live for other people it's so important but as far as the mistakes i had one that came to mind and sometimes it's the mistakes that you look back on and you're not sure why it happened but i actually believe there's a bit of a higher power involved and why those mistakes happen right i had three little girls i took my lsats i was a young wife and i was filling out my form for law school for acceptance i interned in homicide so i knew what homicide was i spelled homicide homocide so i'm thinking that took me out of the run that's the one they're just gonna throw off right away like she can't even spell homicide i mean it was just insane i'm like how did i misspell that i am such a stickler for good spelling how did i spell that wrong and i triple checked it how did that get through it was supposed to get through i was supposed to not be able to go to that school and it was exactly that year that i ended up on the path of working cases and medium came right after that and then i wrote my first new york times bestseller and now i've had i've written six books and the rest is history but if i'd gone down that other path i have girlfriends that are prosecutors it eats them alive people don't understand what they sacrifice and the knowledge they go to bed with the details of the crime and the photographs i've intern in homicide that's just interning they dedicate their lives to it i would be a very different person if i had walked that path and i always say to my friend who's a prosecutor i wanted to be you and she says i want to be you so we would like to walk each other's path and this is where we're supposed to be you know and i accept that so um here's a we're almost done but i i want to make sure that we get a chance to hear about all your different books and where people can buy them because i'll be buying a few of them for sure i'll just send them to you personally autograph but of course you talk about uh surrounding yourself to me the greatest art probably of all possibly anyway is surrounding ourselves with people we bring out the best in and who bring out the best in us yes tell me about that because you know the higher you go on that tree people think oh they're all these friends uh when i left the kansas city chiefs i noticed how many of those oh yes yes you come to realize that i realized i wasn't nearly as good at figuring out who was a true friend so tell us your perspective on true friends i thought the irony of it was it's the celebrity friends that once your fame shifts a little because it ebbs and flows you know we it metamorphoses and they're the ones coolest with it because they go through it too being public figures and people wonder why celebrities are all friends it's because nobody else understands their way of life but it's true when there was no emmys to take a friend to or um you know going to any of the award shows the tv guide walking the red carpet and hanging out with celebrities and mike the miz i hung out with him and had a drink when i was at that party the wrestler he was fun um so i had some really cool experiences but it was the everyday people that got to feel special for a while by being my friend that seemed to resent it the most i was happy to go back to a somewhat normal life but because i've been on tv so frequently over the last 20 years people recognize me at the airport you know and they'll run after you or people are afraid of you and don't want to shake your hand that's my favorite i'm like what you got to hide give me your hand i want to know now so the people that seem to be most cool with it are other people who are in your celebrity shoes probably you have that experience with athletes that are cool with you still that you could call up and they're like hey what's going on right yep it and it and so quickly i mean whether it's athletes or musicians or actors etc it when it's over it it's quick and it's like what what a change so right or or you don't hear from them and then you make a tv appearance and immediately they're texting you because they can and they just they just kind of want to be able to say i know this person you know so i mean it's self-serving on a lot of levels and we know that but loyalty is everything i did learn not to give more loyalty to my friends than they've shown to me that's an important lesson certainly loyalty is a discipline as an act of character yes yes so much when it's not returned the lack of integrity is unreal you know so loyalty is important absolutely i think they do need to teach kids about integrity again i think i think we've skipped a few in between that don't know what integrity is and giving somebody your word and keeping it's a big deal when i bring through the dead i'll say your dad was a handshake kind of guy he'd give somebody his word he'd keep it he'd give him the shirt off his back he'd help them change their tire on the side of the road and they go that's pops and they know so they're very proud of the time that they showed kindness to others and when you die all those people that you showed kindness to that die and they're restored mentally physically are going to be there to greet you just like with doctors when they die their patients are there waiting for them so everything is as it should be on the other side you know when i uh i just as a discipline when i drive up on the corner there's a homeless person and some people will say well he's just gonna or she's gonna you know just drink it or use it for something not food nothing not something they really need i don't care and and to me the connection is just looking them in the eye right yes looking them in the eye as a real human being that they know you see them today as a human being and that is the gift so for those of you you know um we have our soul-searching moments when we think what have we done with our lives and if it's just that one person every day one person that we've given that gift to is so beautiful that's the gift i've gotten from champions for the homeless and uh to see layers of pain and hate and you know sadness just melts away it's interesting that the people that everybody else is so invisible to them are the ones that want to be seen the most it's a it's a vanity thing but along the lines of what you're talking about i worked with florence crittenden which is for girls that fall between the cracks of society and they've been through sexual assault and different horrible situations in their youth and i was at the podium giving the speech to them and i said i moved out at 15 years old i was two months before i was 16 i got my ged i lived on my own i put myself through college and got my bachelor's degree and i said you know we don't all grow up the same it's not always easy it's harder for some more than others i find it's the hard times that build character in you but i said there is no shame in who you are and that was really important to me because all these teenage girls just in that moment that there's no shame in being who they are and for somebody to say that to him really mattered and so i know what you mean just to see a light go on in somebody's eyes that recognizes how they want to be seen by others yeah last question last question what is the person that hold on my assistant lisa said what do i want to ask why do you think with less with this yeah well yeah can i have a tissue since i don't have any in my drawer sorry oh my eyes are all leaky that's not a tissue that's so this question is why do you think you're blessed with this gift this gift that i have is genetic it runs in families i think that maybe i was i don't want to say chosen but gifted with it because i have a very tough backbone and i will challenge any gift i'm given to be better and to help more and i do as much as i can with it there's some people with abilities that run in their family they can't handle it and they either do drugs or they drink themselves to death because they can't handle what they're seeing and hearing they can't sort the information there's also some people that don't want it and will tell it to go away and not use it so i'm somebody who's embraced it i kind of looked at it not just as a challenge i was like okay you derailed me i wanted to be a prosecutor and put bad guys away and now i have to do this you know i've got to talk to dead people like for the rest of my life and if i'm going to do it i'm going to be the best so i started challenging myself and challenging others and i went on tv when they'd asked me to they're like show us your abilities i'm like okay because if i show it to 40 million people will you then believe me so i realized after going on the biggest talk shows in the world and showing that i worked a murder i were you know i read somebody that they set up for me to read i'd never met them and it was a great reading i was like now i mean i pretty much kicked the door down of mediumship that was incredible and that's coming from me so what do you think you're still there's gonna be a skeptic coming out of the woodwork that had a bad day their girlfriend broke up with them they live in their parents basement playing video games with their hand in their pocket you know they're just they're unhappy people so i realized i didn't have to try anymore i know what's true i know what i see and what is and i'm just not in that place in life i'll explain what i do but i won't defend it okay finally make sure that we get people that want to get a reading from you people that you know maybe your your schedule is booked up but last question before that is simply what is the most just whatever comes to mind right now quick just quick ad-lib the most profound uh ex reading that you had something that just jumped out shocked you surprised you and gave you something just remarkably important so i mean there's moments where they're special to me but what is convincing or exciting to other people i've given the last name of the person i've described the dog i've given the name of their dog that's on the other side i've named the street they live on i mean i've done those things but for me i like i've brought i brought through a particularly famous comedian for another particularly famous comedian and the one i brought through was cracking jokes to the one i was reading for and he was just rolling around laughing he's like that's totally something he would say and i felt like i was cutting in on their like friend date and they were just talking back and forth through me having this comic session and i loved that that was so memorable and then we went downstairs with the comedian and his wife and he did impressions of all the characters he's played in movies and we had the best do we not have the best time we had the best time it was so much fun so i like that one because i got to leave laughing and i didn't make anybody cry i think we need to do a show yeah comedian heaven they are funny they are funny i've had the singers come through i i've had actors that i've brought through princess diana that was an interesting one i did that for a laboratory test years ago please tell us oh i think we got five minutes the scientists at u of a were studying mediums and so they basically pose a question to the other side and we have to talk to whoever's on the other side and answer the question without knowing what the question is so that's that's difficult but i did that and they brought me into a room separate from other mediums and there was a person on the other side of the partition and they said we want you to start pulling impressions off of the person on the other side of the partition and i was shown paris and the ritz and jewelry that was particularly large and i looked at the scientists and i said if this isn't princess diana that i'm supposed to be bringing through just stop the experiment now and they looked at each other and smiled and they said um it was princess diana and you can go and then they sent in the next medium who was a friend of mine and she came out five minutes later she's like did you get princess diana i was like i totally got princess diana so that was very cool and it turned out it was a friend of hers that was on the other side of the partition that we were reading without knowing who it is so we went through being tested by scientists for years and i don't think anything's going to convince a hundred percent of the people it's something they either know to be true in the inside on their in their inner voice and in their heart or it doesn't resonate with them and that's okay people don't have to believe in life after death or what i see but for the people that it does resonate with it makes life much more beautiful to live when you have examples like them yeah they tell us the mistakes they made and how we should be living our lives and you know i have a bucket list and one of the things i have on it people are worried about their bucket list sounding stupid which i was shocked i'm like why do you care what other people think about what's on your bucket list i said i went to ireland and ate a bowl of lucky charms and and rolled down a hill of clovers it was on my list since i was 11. and i did it boom so it doesn't matter people think it's dumb i had a blast i really enjoyed it so you know life is what you make it and the only people that hold us back are our own personal selves we cage ourselves and you gotta let yourself out so so are dreams uh a way to communicate with us sometimes yes it is um you're so busy every day people will say why does my mom or my dad come through during the day it's like well you've got a house full of children you've got tvs turned up you've got barking dogs you know your life is chaos and when you're in chaos you can't hear them because you're not focused you're not in the zone you have to be in a quiet place and you have to like people shouldn't you know if you can get where there's nobody in the house even better but just a sense of calm and centeredness and they start talking through you but when you're asleep all of those mechanisms that distract you during the day are gone so they do tend to come through when you're asleep the most because you're easier to access it's not that they're not around you it's that a part of you still hurts so badly it can't acknowledge that they're actually gone and so in order to see them that would mean that they're gone physically so people won't see them but it doesn't mean they're not there it's just you're still in a lot of pain especially when they first die they'll go through other people to get messages to you because they can't access you so they go through children they love small children because they're better than we are little kids and that's why they're so honest they're like i saw graham in my room they're just so excited and when we shut them down we shut a part of their soul down as little mediums then they fail to grow so we all affect each other but in dreams if you take out a picture of your parents wedding picture and prop it up on your nightstand before you go to bed and say mom i know you're this age however old she is and dad i know you're that age and i know you chose each other and i'm ready for a visit and just go to sleep let them come through that removes the barrier that you have around the end of their life beautiful because you're looking at a very lively picture of them well i'd love to have um a lot more of this and maybe you and i can do a comedians [Laughter] i would love that there are a lot i would want back um you know um how can people book you how can people obviously there's alan allison dubois.com we'll put that on yeah that's my website my podcast the dead life that's every tuesday morning which you were just on so your episode will be airing tuesday on how to create your versions of heaven and so i'm excited about that one and my new book love can't tell time why love never dies it just came out a few weeks ago and it's a book of soul mates and people can get that through amazon and on your website yes that's correct alison dubois.com thank you nick lowery you're awesome i just always love to end my show by saying it's not the brightness of the spotlight on you it's always the intensity of the light within thank you thank you take care you

Channel: KANNAWAY

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Keywords: Kannaway, Hemp Oil, Hemp, Sustainable Hemp Oil, Kway

Id: xoUmjPTiCVs

Length: 60min 10sec (3610 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 07 2020