Full Anthony Jeselnik Interview | About Last Night Podcast with Adam Ray

foreign the last time I did it I went for my last special I went and went on Seth Meyers and Kimmel and I had like stories that I had been workshopping on stage oh great just go out and just tell super smart wasn't gonna like leave it up to that and I burned like 20 minutes of the could be material you know I could be taping a special right now if I had kept that but I was like no it's so painful to be on these couches I need to have something where I just destroy oh bro it's I mean it's why and it I mean that's a huge advantage to have that uh wherewithal because there's actors that go on these couches you know [ __ ] even somebody like you might get like a Danny Glover who's like a charismatic guy but maybe like he sits down and maybe he's just like not doesn't have a lot to talk about so he's like yeah this one time at a vending machine I wanted Doritos oh yeah what happened it gave me a KitKat s we're gonna go to commercial break that's also not a great Danny Glover impression but hey all you cats and kittens Adam Ray here thanks for watching and listening to the bout last night podcast get it on YouTube subscribe here Spotify iTunes wherever you get your podcast rate review the show tell your friends tell your enemies tell your lovers your ex-lovers um your dad your dad's weird friend Ron who always tries to give you beer even though you're like I'm only six um today's guest is a banger uh one of my favorite uh Comics to watch I'm sure one of yours a true uh Staple in the comedy World um he's about to go on tour and do his I believe fifth special maybe sixth uh his last one thoughts and prayers and then um uh hot and what is the last uh hot in the maternity [ __ ] it's Anthony Jeselnik um type type in the name you'll get a bunch of goodies uh what a great episode he and I um really hit it off uh I've only chatted with him a handful of times they're on the clubs and uh more recently last week at The Comedy Store and had enough of back and forth where I was like dude you want to [ __ ] pot it up I didn't say like that I'm not that cool but um he agreed and we knocked it out 90 minutes it's awesome truly one of my favorite apps covered a lot of ground his Tonight Show joke writing days his uh his early starts uh in uh in in Pennsylvania College coming to La the grind how he got into stand up uh flourishing uh finding a style uh getting into the clubs knocking out specials who he digs what makes him laugh uh and it uh it finishes strong so enjoy the hell out of this episode follow him on Instagram Twitter and Tick Tock at Anthony Jeselnik follow me at Adam Ray comedy tour dates adamrakecomedy.com uh we got uh Detroit um no Detroit already happened what do we got coming up we got Rally North Carolina and then some dates with Sal vulcano uh in Alabama Knoxville and uh and uh and Atlanta and then uh Portland Seattle Vegas um adding a few others um all that adamrakecomedy.com where you can also get your Adam Ray merch here about last night podcast merch again subscribe to the podcast on YouTube comment below and let us know your favorite part of the episode got a bunch of bangers coming up uh to close out 2022 strong so without further Ado uh please enjoy this episode one of my new faves with the uh the man himself Anthony Jeselnik hey it's Herbert and you're listening to the about last night podcast your slippery little son of a [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you is the air bothering you I think it's uh gonna keep things Chiller no I'm here I'd rather be cool and okay great then do you run hot yeah me too I'm always sweating [ __ ] me too yeah I think my mom passed that down to me is that a mom trait that they pass down I don't know I remember somebody told me like I was I did my premium blend and they were like oh you're sweating a lot and I'm like oh like they're like oh you're German so you sweat a lot and I'm like what yikes who said that there's some like lady backstage and I was like okay I started saying that my mom was like why do you tell people you sweat because you're German you're not German like what are you oh you're not even German no I'm like Germanic but mutt what does that mean it means I'm from like all over like it's just like it's not just do you enjoy to take an interest in like the origin story of Anthony Jeselnik like somebody asked me the other day like where's your dad from and I was like [ __ ] I don't know and that's on him for bouncing when I was nine and not giving me the full scoop there was a uh there was a flooded and some laughter yeah that was a a family who had like their jesel mix in Florida oh cool and like a long time ago on like Myspace this woman got in touch she's like I married into the Justin MC family I did I traced back through like ancestry.com here's what I found yeah and there were like three brothers who uh immigrated from um Slovenia years ago and they settled in different parts of the country and that's like what we're from and I was like oh cool I went and told my family and they went all right yeah we're eating I'm like oh you don't care at all where we're from nobody doesn't matter I would venture to say more people don't care than do care yeah 23andMe I think like definitely got people [ __ ] dude I can I you know I'm two percent black I'm five percent half Jew and you're like yeah but then you find that out you post about it on something and then I don't know if you're like doing holidays now because of it or you're maybe for stand-up purposes it's funny because it's uh something to pull from you can make the most hack joke of all time yeah I don't do any of those jokes by the way like I just like when I was growing up I would see like Irish people just being like we're Irish and I'm like all right like relax man no one gives a [ __ ] you can tell by the leprechaun that you're holding yeah there there is a yeah I don't know I've never been um but I'm also not a giant history guy I don't know if ancestry and history are tied together I feel like they are if you care about one you probably care about the other yeah are you a history guy what was your favorite subject in school English I was a lit guy yeah still a reading and writing one more than the other no I'm particular you can't really separate them as far as I'm concerned is it weird that I can or uh astute that I feel like I can observe that and appreciate and and uh agree with you saying you're a big reader because the way that you your Cadence on stage the way that you talk you always have eye contact when you talk which I appreciate um you know it's not a it's an acquired skill set I feel like especially in our business a lot of people I feel like just are thrushed uh thrust yeah thrust yeah into this coming out of covet I was like saying words again for the first time to people and I was like [ __ ] can I need a quick fact check on that one thrust into settings where you're maybe not a social person and now you're like at a club and you're almost like expected to be so I never like judge when I see people that are like you know just a little uh socially uh inadequate whatever but I could tell from the way that you talk your word choices that you are a big reader do you is that a um do you like that do I like reading or do I like so that's my first podcast no um now do you like uh do you like that that's that I could pick up on that like do you do you um celebrate that I guess about yourself that you come off well read and well educated I love that's right you have the instinct to know that I'm I'm well read okay cool I love it always been that way yeah when I was a kid my I went to Montessori school and I was a holy Terror holy Terror like it sounds like the Rival School of the Montessori holy dare yeah they couldn't get anything done because I was just such a nut case and they only make it you were the only thing they could do to settle me down was to read to me so they had a volunteer who came in this old man who was like the dad or like I think the dad of the principal the school would come in like a couple times a week and just read to me for hours by yourself yeah just the two of us and that's what crazy were you like throwing [ __ ] balls across I was in an empty classroom like four or five years old just like why I don't want to do this like a day of Montessori School like okay yeah I'm gonna learn to tie my shoes and do this and then all of a sudden you're like this is boring let me do something wait wait so there were there were a few uh lessons that you were like this adds up tying my shoes feels like something I'm going to need down the line but then when they were like stacking blocks you're like [ __ ] [ __ ] that why aren't we doing this or I just don't want to do it I can stack blocks on Monday because Wednesday you better have something new new activity yeah especially at five wow it wasn't Montessori School like it's like private school more or less no is there a way to turn down his my earphones am I too loud I'm coming in hot Sola for a guy who runs cold I'm coming in real hot that's yeah how's that you turn me down you can turn me back up a little bit Mike hands okay great perfect but the audit but the audio will stay great um wow okay so what kind of books this old man's coming in and reading you what like I mean I assume they were children's books I don't remember the books not like the fisher king or Bernstein Bears tell the truth it was like it would be like someone explaining how the Matrix works you know what I mean to like a kid I was like wow you just look at this and you can tell me a story like I was just locked in awesome never like I said boo it was just like great and then once I learned to read that's all I wanted to do wow yeah and so was there a uh in a fashion a fascination with uh writing that came with that then like you the more words you learned the more you wanted to like yeah I was like oh I can do this myself like that was cool to me and I never I mean I always wanted to be a writer like a novelist before I became a comedian oh [ __ ] yeah were you a funny kid like with this old man would you have a back and forth like with the teachers when they were saying [ __ ] would you at least like banter back I tried like I got into it as I as I like got a little older I remember like in second grade like making sarcastic jokes and my thing was if you can if you make a joke in class you're getting in trouble but if you make the teacher laugh you don't get in trouble so that became my thing whoa was like let's see if I can like if I can do like almost like like a like the ultimate joke of I'm gonna disrupt class and you're all gonna love me for it whoa yeah and it didn't work out but yeah but it did it was great yeah the percentages on how much that you got to catch that teacher in the right moment I mean I would constantly Go I mean I went from you know one-liners to wimpy cushion on the chair like you know you just have to read the room especially as a kid trying find it were there other class clowns or did you kind of stick out as like the kid I was the kid for a while and then I remember in high school like I was in honors classes so there was like the class clown was like was in like the regular classes doing his thing but I would but I just drove teachers extra crazy because like this is an honors class you should be taking this seriously and I couldn't but I remember I lost uh Class Clown my senior year there's a competition there was like that it was like people wrote in votes you know I mean Class Clown best smile but most athletic yeah and my parents were like you better not win Class Clown I was like what it would be cool to win something that like not Class Clown why didn't you win most studious and I'm like it's senior year it's a little late like you know I'm not winning most Studios why did my friend Joey wanna Joey Joey do you remember his last name dellavecchio yeah [ __ ] can I be honest Joey De La Vecchia and Anthony Anthony jeselnick as soon as I heard your name which I can't remember when I think I want to say it was pretty last did you were you on TV pretty Last Comic I hosted Last Comic but that was like that wasn't that long okay no yeah would you was there a it was a premium blend was that the first or a late night spot maybe premium blend yeah a couple late night spots it was the premium yeah thing that the roast that got you some national exposure right I think I did like a half hour before yes I remember seeing hearing your name and then just seeing it all at the same time and being like yeah duh is that a like do uh like I feel like you have a comedian's name do you know what I'm saying and also Anthony jeselnick sounds like the kid that was like if you said Joey de Levesque Del Vecchio Del Vecchia that kid like talking about you let's say to people that didn't know who you were I'm sure like oh yeah that's like you know what I'm saying like it sounds like the guy Adam Ray doesn't sound like the guy who was trying to [ __ ] make kids laugh and disrupt class Jeselnik sounds like a [ __ ] like you're made for this I think I can see seeing that now at the time it was wildly divisive no one could get it right I thought about changing it for the stage you did many times yeah because people would say what like at an open mic they're like reading it off a piece of paper that I've written down so it even it's even worse and they never got it right and then one day I was like you know what I'm gonna be Anthony Matthews Matthew is my middle name cool be Anthony Matthews and I put it on the pad and the guy's looking at it from like he's on stage he's looking on the pad and he goes Anthony Willis and I was like if you're gonna [ __ ] up Matthews I'm just gonna stick with jessal Nick and then I used it as like a litmus test yeah you know if you're like if someone comes up like you're Anthony to Lesnik I'm like you don't know who you're talking to you know I mean if if you get my name right it shows respect yeah it kind of lets me know where I stand with you what were some of the alts that uh that really stung like you know teasing wise let's let's take it back like maybe fourth fifth grade oh jaisal dick yep jessal prick yep um Jizzle something yeah but they got that out of the way early you know in high school or like you know when I was a kid everyone just called me Jeselnik so they didn't really make fun of it was like oh yeah jeselnick and then you get to college and everyone just knows me as Anthony no one even knew my last name is there a Tony in there ever my dad is Tony yeah we have the different middle name so I'm not a junior but he was Tony I was Anthony and people say you don't look like a Tony I'm like good wait so both your folks didn't want the class clown uh award sitting on the mantle because why not funny themselves tried didn't want to do it oh certainly not funny themselves but just thought school was very serious why aren't you taking it seriously because they're what teachers my dad was an attorney and my dad like used school to escape from this like small town in Pennsylvania like went to Notre Dame on a razi scholarship wow went to Georgetown law on his own dime hustling waiting tables to get through it so he like valued hard work in school and I was like it's party time let's [ __ ] around like I'm here to I'm here to hang out with my friends and truly didn't understand what school was supposed to be until maybe a couple years ago when I look back and I'm like God I should if I just you know done the reading I just never did anything really and would you go to school uh Tulane nice that's where my mom went oh really New Orleans yeah she went to she was in Sophie Newcomb is that still there it's a sorority yeah yeah wait a sorority or a dorm sorority Sophie Nukem [ __ ] no can you believe if I was making this up right now uh Sophie look at my I believe it's a sorority because she goes down to do the last 20 years her and her shorty sisters have gone to maybe Sophie Nukem is a chapter of somebody hit a pudding she goes back to do a habitat they build homes for um people that are still uh really struggling from Katrina the last 20 years but uh she loves it down there oh it's the greatest try to get us to move down there at one point really yeah what stopped you uh she once her my dad split it was just my sister and her and I and we're either gonna go there or Oklahoma where her folks are from and she just goes I was I guess involved in sports and had a handful of buddies and she didn't want to pull me from that um but uh which I'm glad Seattle over Oklahoma I think yeah in a heartbeat yeah uh which you grew up where Pittsburgh okay are you like Die Hard I try to be then they make it tough you know I I love the Penguins uh I really like the Pirates and like root for them but it's it's kind of a lost cause and Steelers fan uh for sure Pennsylvania in general a real blue collar I mean just so is that also probably what probably feels the the parents of like don't be a [ __ ] [ __ ] don't goof off like this is a state where we just buckle down yeah I had to prove myself a lot and now everything's cool everything's great it is it took a long time damn what was that first thing that kind of turned the uh album reviews my first album came out in like I think 2010 and it was like okay like people were like all right this is great it was like you could you could look at it and see it and um writing for Jimmy Fallon is something that parents could say I could say to people because for a long time I would be like on Kimmel and do a spot and be all proud and come home yeah friends would be like so your parents tell us you're writing for Jay Leno and I was like what no but I was on chemo and they're like oh whatever but they just didn't know how to say he was on Jimmy Kimmel so when I was writing on Fallon they're like okay we can tell people that and they know uh and then when I was on the roast they said people would come and knock on the door and say I saw your son last night and they'd be like oh he's a nice boy and they'd be like no no we get it like he's great like we and so when neighbors were coming to them they were they were cool wow being comedian's embarrassing until it's not anymore totally you know I had so many friends from high school in college the first however many years going back over to Seattle or even being out here from where I went to school the bad guy so you're still doing it and I was like yeah it's been four years you know so it's uh it takes a It Takes a Minute it does huh yeah because I was like I haven't seen them on any Billboards or you haven't been in any specials yet well no yeah it's you get the specialist what it is yeah but you could be in somebody else's and that's like making it right yeah man so this is why we don't talk a lot still I hope you're picking up on and then my mom when I got my first TV gig according to Gemma guest star she told everybody I was on the John Belushi show bragging to Subway Sandwich Artist that I'm on the John Belushi show she's not wrong yeah yeah um okay so the found gig by the way I just want to stop at that that to me is like uh I think I remember hearing you talk about on a pod maybe your pod or um getting that job what just calling it pod oh it's a pod heard you on the Pod like I get it yeah I'm just I'm we were talking before I came in I'm like so all right tell me about the setup like I'm I'm just figuring out podcasting yeah you're just getting going right I've been no I've been doing it like 170 episodes but we were it was all kind of audio all kind of taken care of and now we're branching out and seeing what's out there gotcha but you've been doing podcasts forever yeah but your podcast the uh Jessica lick and Rosenthal Vanity project jrvp where does the uh where's the title come from first of all it's with your buddy uh Greg Rosenthal from the NFL Network yeah long time best friend you told me yeah uh 20 some years we he's at the NFL uh doing stuff and he does like this big podcast and I was like let's do one together and this was years and years ago and we went to the NFL and was the Rosenthal and Justin mcvinany project it was kind of a look like the NFL like didn't want us there we were like going in under the cover of night and recording not getting paid but just having fun they don't want you there what just using their face everything I said on the podcast was like inflammatory that if anyone one higher up who had listened to it people would have been fired you were like making fun of Roger Goodell like making fun of the NFL and they're very so strict about what they can get away so strict I was doing a sports comedy podcast with Mark Sanchez for a little bit and Showtime eventually pulled the plug after about 20 episodes because they were like you know what we just really don't want that much comedy in our football which is why I think most sports comedy combo packs have just struggled yeah it's terrible at the end of the day people I mean you tell me I mean did you watch uh Norm's Sports show when it was on yeah what'd you think I liked it but it was very Norm totally and I kept wondering like why is he doing a sports show yeah you know why is he just doing his own show Yeah It's just tough people I think at the end of the day just take it too seriously and they're like I don't want it's like when Dennis Miller went in the booth for Monday Night Football like and I don't know if that was the right guy to be in there but um yeah at the end of the day it's just so serious right and there's something goofy about joking around about sports what if the football was a baseball like it just like this is sucks yeah yeah everyone Comedy Central used to try it back in the day it was always bad right that it's just it's not it's not fun we start having a best friend of 20 20 plus years that's impressive to me I meet people in uh crowds sometimes where they'll tell me of like you know a two even like grown men in their 40s and 50s they're like we just became friends but it's like two years like a new friendship and they're best friends at that stage in life which that is uh a feat in and of itself but to me like I feel like it's rare to have I got a couple buddies back home from Seattle that we've been friends since first grade one's gonna be the best man in my wedding and people are when I uh share that info they're like I don't talk to anybody from back in the day anymore that's incredible and I'm like is it I'd guess I lucked out with like a decent crop to pick from and like you know it's a two-way street to keep in touch and all that but I don't know yeah we just kind of connected in a different way than from my other friends in college my other friends in high school and just kind of like grew up together that uh there's like one incident or like vacay or weekend that kind of cemented the friendship like we we kind of we were uh pledged the same fraternity and kind of became friends that way we're both kind of like the funny guys yeah and then sophomore year uh beginning of school at Tulane it was a hurricane warning and where people evacuated the city oh [ __ ] and there were two cars I always lived in a house with Five Guys Greg was one of them and we're like we got to get out of here we got two cars my one friend is in like this amazing like luxury SUV leather seats AC and he's got like four guys in that car and Greg has got to take his like [ __ ] like Nissan Sentra it was like barely running and he's like please ride with me so I rode with him we didn't have AC we had to turn the heat on so the car wouldn't overheat and we're in like a 10 hour drive to Houston just in traffic right behind the [ __ ] SUV where they're just having a blast and we bonded like we talked about everything under the sun that we could wow and then on the way back he was like you want to ride with me again I was like yeah and then we would just been best friends ever since wow that was really like yeah that's incredible I mean there's versions of that story where there's guys that like her we you know hiked Mount Rainier and there was a [ __ ] blizzard and we had to suck each other off for warmth and you're like that's also a story of bondage for sure this one sounds you know more way more fun but when you're faced with like elements like that where you just truly have nothing but yourselves in conversation like yeah you have no choice Comics will be like what would it take for us to be friends and I'm like we'd have to be in a bad situation together if we're just doing a show where like the green room's [ __ ] up you know where like someone yells at us and we have some kind of crazy like we've got to get out of here situation that's a bond yeah that's all you need that's why the road is so I feel like imperative when you're I mean in general right like when you're trying to what you know opening for somebody or or just trying to get to know anybody I think getting out of the bubble of wherever you're at is important oh yeah I mean yeah I feel like I've you and I have probably had I want to say maybe like not even double digits conversations until the other night and then it was like a very happenstance like Comedy Store main room Green Room which the store any Comedy Club I mean tell me like you're you know out all the time you know is there a time and a place to like get to know somebody or talk to somebody because there's so much foot traffic all the time there's times where I've been in conversations with you and three other people and like you know maybe there'll be a back and forth with you and I but then somebody else comes up that I don't really know but you're really tight with and then I just I'm like this is my cue you know and I try to read the room on that and then um being in the Green Room it was just us and I was like well this is how anybody should like hope to have a um a little bit of the beginnings of a back and forth we have like no distractions and nobody coming in with like some extraneous [ __ ] or somebody comes up like I said like that knows one of us better that kind of just rips it apart um but uh so that's always cool and that's what I love about the store too is that like you just get those moments where and then hopefully you know you don't see the [ __ ] wrong thing when you were like how you doing man like if I'd open with ah [ __ ] I'm I got this like domestic abuse like you know if I open with some something to make you go yeah cool man I'm gonna go over my jokes if you don't mind yeah uh you did give me a uh I don't want to get too into it but I want to at least allude to it when when I brought you on stage you tagged him with a comedy store and I'm bringing you on stage and uh and I'm gonna say the quote and we'll just like leave it at that and you know who knows down the line really uh dig into it but um there's a story of something that kind of uh occurred with me and another comedian a while back and um and a few uh homies know about it and so there's a couple key quotes from that one of them being the quote being if you keep pressing pause you're not gonna get to hit play which is what somebody said to me which is hilarious an amazing like when I heard it I was just so happy you were I said it all the time I've said it on my podcast wow like I opened ingest yeah like a quote just being like I just said that and my partners was like what what does that mean I'm like oh it's just someone someone I always make fun of said that quote it doesn't mean a [ __ ] thing yeah but he said it like it was just like this with the gravity holy crap yeah oh my God if I keep hitting pause yeah I won't be able to hit play but you can there's no there's no rule that like you don't open up your VCR and then like don't hit pause too much you can't watch any movies like it's not a thing oh it was it's also the getting um get from people in your business and you're that aren't like too much older just getting any sort of like slap on the wrist from a comrade or somebody in a way like that was a very like looking down pointing but so funny that I couldn't even really get mad about it you know what I'm saying and so I'm glad that you uh oh you're just like I've got this story I can't wait to tell people this I know and I love like when I heard like uh you we've got a friend in common yeah uh who told me this story and I was like tell me more like tell me everything it is and it's just yeah this whole school this person is like a fountain of like amazing Stories it was like an unauthorized biography I would read the [ __ ] out of it uh so so Anthony's bringing uh or I'm bringing him on stage because what was so great about it is like I honestly like again like we just had this like first kind of lengthy longer than you know and maybe even uh the first of uh you know 10 minute conversation maybe where I'm like [ __ ] I've always liked the guy very cool to add a little Rapport to now like the uh the encounters and then I'm you know doing my thing on stage I'm uh bringing it up and uh real fired up to bring it out and you stop and pause and just pulled me in close and I was like taken aback because I was like oh [ __ ] like first I think first time bringing you out like to the main room so I'm like and now he's gonna like I don't know if it was just gonna be a quick good set but you you were real stoic you know as you are and you pull me close and just go if you keep pressing pause you're not gonna be able to hit play and I [ __ ] didn't put it together where it was from so I literally go I laughed first because I just assumed it was something funny but then also I heard it and attached it to where I know it's from but was like there's no way it's that and so then I laughed uncomfortably and then walked off and then was like [ __ ] was he telling me to like slow down like I know sometimes I can get a little a little you know my Pace get picks up when I and I was definitely trying to jam in a few more bits in my last couple minutes on stage so I went home being like [ __ ] and I was like all right you know what though hey if there's I like the guy and if that's somebody that's gonna throw me a a dime of wisdom I'm taking it and I [ __ ] I went home and I told my fiance I was like yeah it was real cool like he took time to tell me to [ __ ] slow down and like work on my pace and she's like that's cool I was like yeah it was cool and then come to find it was that so yeah you DM I mean I because I don't even I I just got on Instagram a few months ago so quick I don't even know about DMS and all that [ __ ] so Liz was like oh yeah Adam damned you uh he said you gave him like great advice I was like what because when I said that to you I could I felt like you didn't you weren't ready for me to like make a joke or say anything so it was kind of like what you know you someone like says something in passing yeah oh yeah cool man if you have no idea what they said totally that's what happened yes and then when you like you you're DM you I think it was a voicemail when you're like hey thanks man I've been trying to slow it down a little bit I'm like it's so funny you would think I'd be like hey slow down Adam we know each other at all but I'm gonna tell you how to do your eyes bro but but I I hope that that uh that that lands with you that I was not offended At All by that so it's all which again it it's all intent and purpose when you're trying to like say or do anything and it's like and being a nice person alike will goes a long way because no part of me was like [ __ ] this guy this is the first time I brought him on stage and he's trying to tell me how to Pace it up but looking back in hindsight very funny dude and someday the full beginning middle and end will be told to uh if you keep hitting pause I couldn't even [ __ ] have you had moments like that in your life because I mean you tell me man it's like you know comedy subjective once you um once you got into this and really found who you were on stage and correct me if I'm wrong I feel like it happened for you pretty early yeah I feel like you've been Anthony Jeselnik like and your style your Cadence your delivery uh has been you locked in on that pretty early yeah I can't it took me like a year maybe a little over a year to figure out like dark like jokes and the Persona just kind of like formed around that wow and it was just she wrote dark jokes first and then I was absurd jokes at first I was like I took a class with like talk about your life and I'm like I'm like 22 I'm like my life's like my life's not interesting I can't tell anyone how to vote I can't tell people like this different stuff and the moods to hear about my life I'm I'm sick of telling the same story over and over again and I love Jack Candy's Deep Thoughts yeah so I would write I would read them and write my own versions and they were kind of absurd and silly but great exercise yeah and uh and then one day I wrote a dark one with a dark twist and remember what it was you yes um my girlfriend loves to eat chocolate she's always eating chocolate and she likes a joke she's a chocolate addiction so like keep away from those Hershey's Bars and it's really annoying so one day I put it in the car and I drove her downtown and I pointed out a crack addict and I said you see that honey why can't you be that skinny and the open mic audience wow it was just all open my Comics waiting for their turn just went oh they didn't laugh they just went oh and I was like that's it a short dark like don't be too silly but like get in there and that is what I want holy [ __ ] that was at what age 23 24 wow so a couple years in that's awesome yeah what sort of weight lift off your shoulders is that to go I know now it's just about and you already know how to write the joke I mean that's a [ __ ] great joke even telling the story now I can picture myself like driving home in the car from like Jennifer's coffee in Studio City the open mic I was at I got a Saturday night and just being like fired up so pumped dude it's like you saw it like it's like you got the uh you found the treasure before you had the treasure map is that a good analogy not really all right let's edit this out but I think that there's uh wow that's [ __ ] yeah because I mean that's the name of the game right is like being on stage getting reps writing to try to find your point of view and who you are on stage right like and you got it that quick that's dope and I feel like very rare yeah I I think so I mean I was just I was searching for it so hard I wasn't like I'm gonna put my time and I was like how can I make this time as short as possible none of a laziness but out of like I I just want to take the time your time on stage not time it's like time in general like you start at 22 you're not gonna be good until you're 30 like let's see if I can cut that down to like 24. wow you know where like they don't know any better I'm gonna pretend I'm like a comedy genius and I'm gonna do every open like I can I'm gonna write more than other people to try to like cut that time down that's when I found that shortcut I was like this is it the confidence and the Swagger that you possess on stage uh likable rub some people the wrong way right sure you know that going in but it's also how you look how you sound right but I'd rub people the wrong way without that Swagger of confidence as soon as they saw me on stage at 22 23 they did not like me maybe they weren't like booing but they were just like oh this [ __ ] guy because every comic looked like an uglier version of me you know so it's like the whole lineup is just that I'm like okay being a villain is fun it's fun that I was like oh this I've like I've hacked something and people would be like you know you shouldn't be so mean I was like wait like I understand what you're saying I'm not gonna be in the Disney movie but I don't want that I don't care do you think they're well and also like you know having a a harder Edge to your style you you can't also be like you know you've got there's an affable quality to you on the exterior to where it's like you're not up there and you smile from time to time which I think it helps at least from from uh you know an audience viewing standpoint if you're up there looking like yeah I don't know Joaquin Phoenix with a full beard and like a black coat and you're being like yeah then maybe it's like you still have to be somewhat likable on stage right um that's crazy that you calculated all that that's very fascinating to me to to know this is how I'm this how I'm going to deliver jokes so that's my next question your Cadence again even talking about trying to slow down I uh from the get-go when I saw you uh on stage and even to this day just you know have a lot it's not my style but I have a lot of admiration for people that take their time like that because I just I just don't do it and I don't think I'm capable of doing it there's been sets where I've had like I've been losing my voice or I've been you know and it's made me like sit on the stool more or less and really take my time and I have a couple buddies be like that was the best I've ever seen you and then that makes me go [ __ ] and then whatever but uh did you make it a a choice to go all right now that I've got the um you know the joke format more or less or like knowing what my Beats are going to be like the time I want to spend on stage and and uh the style I want to you know be up there to deliver did you make a conscious choice to go you know I'm I'm always going to try to go slower like did somebody tell you that were you going faster and then decided or did the kind of the joke style kind of force you to kind of take your time it was really the best way to deliver that joke and to have the audience on my side I like playing with the silence and when the audience is hanging on your every word I'm trying to get them to go right so I can go left you know I want to lead them down the wrong path and switch it up they're talking that way really helped and people like you talk so slow it's like yeah that's commanding a crowd [ __ ] yeah I can stop talking and they're all just like it's dead silence like it's a superpower if a joke bombs and they're still silent like okay it's when they start talking that you're [ __ ] you know and I people would say you talk like Christopher Walken and I loved Christopher Walken I still do but I will I thought it was just a fun way to talk and he just sounded interesting when he did it and I thought that was why I talked that way because you could hide the punchline better if you if you're if your Cadence was a little off but my then I found a couple years ago my dad gets that like you talk like Christopher Walken that I might just like oh yeah I get that too and I'm like is it a family thing holy it's not like a Pittsburgh thing I think it might just be genetic I don't know and you've always been comfy in the silence because that's the trickiest part I feel like for any young comic and it just you know I mean timing is like a natural thing like you just know when to start talking again when to deliver the punch line I don't know how you would even describe it to someone of how it works but it just always kind of worked for me so you start writing on Fallon you come out here uh from after college yeah you're you partied you're like [ __ ] now I gotta like I didn't have money to party I was like let's try to try to find a job could not I was working at retail and I was working at a bookstore and I thought I was thinking about stand-up comedy it was a book uh by Greg Dean it was like there were like five books about stand up or how do you stand up and I picked the thinnest one and I took that home and read it and I was like okay here's joke structure take the mic out whatever at the end of the book it was like this guy teaches a class in Santa Monica so I just started taking the course and I didn't tell my friends or anything for a couple of [ __ ] a month and then was like guys I have to tell you something like I'm I'm taking a stand-up class and they were all like yeah you'll be great at that I was like okay I thought this was like embarrassing whoa and then just started getting into it from there what a funny thing to be that your friends are gonna like judge you for like because it's something that again if you have no you had nobody in the family or prior connections when you got to La of hey Dr Dana she's got the the only one my dad went to college with a guy named Jimmy Brogan who had the test yes do you know Jimmy yeah just saw him like a month ago yeah Legend they went to Notre Dame together and he was writing a head writer for Lena yes and I came out here in between like my Junior and Senior year to visit LA and the only meeting I had was Jimmy broken and he and my dad hadn't spoken in like 40 years but he had a meeting with me at the Improv I watched the set he was like what do you want to do I was like I want to be a joke writer I want to be a writer and I thought the right guy by the way yeah and I thought he was gonna say all right come to The Tonight Show I'll get you an internship well you'll work in the writer's room none of that he just goes do stand up that way instead of writing your jokes and trying to get someone to read it you can just like you can tell people your jokes and it helps you figure out how to word them perfectly and you'll find find your voice that way and I was like okay but this isn't what I wanted out of this yeah but years later I was feeling like okay let's do stand up why I have nothing out here I got nothing to lose but there's a certain kind of person who tries stand up yeah like the one of the main reasons I didn't quit was because the idea of quitting was so embarrassing I used to do stand up I wasn't going to be that guy oh I wasn't going to do it we know those people and that's fine that's your journey you ever have you're talking to someone like oh you're standing up I thought about that I thought about doing that you're like oh we're the same oh you're just looking there yeah perform at the comedy store in 2015 yeah is uh is John still there yeah I've been doing it for 20 years when's the last time you got on stage 12 years ago you haven't been doing it the delusion I know I take did you I mean I'm sure you are now like do you get uh I take a lot of pride in the hustle and grind that goes into it like I feel like if anyone I used to have kids from college want to sit me down and ask me the shortcuts basically be like how do I get it to be a regular at the store I'm like you've been doing it three months and they're like yeah but I feel like I'm I'm done with these bringer shows and these open mics I'm like you're not just the fact that you're asking me how to get ahead and you're not just like wanting to you know have time be your best friend I'm already I don't want to tell you not to do it but stop yeah there's no like it's not people like what did you do I'm like you can't do what I did because I do like at the time it worked for me but it wouldn't work for you like there wasn't Tick Tock or social media back when I started you had to kind of do this one hustle and there's so many different ways people who make so much more money than me who are so much worse than me because they just found a different path I don't want to tell you anything sure but I will tell people like someone come to The Comedy Store and be like I'm a huge fan like what do I need to do and I'm like stop hanging out here like don't hang out at the store because then you're just the guy who hangs out at the store go do open mics go get better until people like oh I don't know that guy that guy's funny it takes for a long time but I never asked anyone like what should I be doing because I was afraid and I'm glad that I'm glad I was afraid yeah because the idea I wanted to sit down but can I take you to lunch and just ask what I should be doing like don't do that it's embarrassing dude um did you ever uh did you hang out did you think that was like an important thing when you were around here around clubs no no I didn't really have friends in the open mic scene and I just thought I'm gonna go home and write I'm going to always be writing and I would write so many I would write because I didn't have my voice down exactly yet like now I've I'm working on my fifth hour right now yeah so I'll be like okay I've written a joke about that already you know I've gotten so many topics are are off limits to me now but you can really try to look at the game tape and go I want to make sure that this special is hitting new it's fresh from top to bottom yeah if it's just fresh for me like and after on my fifth hour I'll write a joke and be like that's great I'm like oh [ __ ] I told that two specials ago oh wow but I can't have I can't just be switching uh so out of Greg Dean's class is there a moment where like you probably do the uh with the graduation show at the Improv or something like that or west side I don't know yeah I did at the uh belly room yeah and so was that a aha moment was it did you have people come out and see you was it like getting a taste of a real stage out here right like probably Kickstarter we had uh like I brought all my friends with like eight people at Nelly at the time and they had me go last and I was like some of the best one not realizing it's because I brought the most people but everyone it was like 10 people they all everyone kind of Tanked but the audience wants to root for them oh yeah and then I went up in my mind I killed like they gave me the tape and I remember being like I would send that tape to everyone I'm like you got to see this tape you got to see it and then uh years ago I did a roast when I did the roast of Donald Trump one of the jokes I used against Donald Trump was from my first ever stand up set I went back and I was like oh my God I remember that I'm gonna use this and it killed so it's like I wonder if there's any other like any of the gems in there and I watched it and had a panic attack like literally wanted to throw up watching how how clearly nervous I was how I was dressed how my how I talked how I acted like Heavy Dennis Leary influence that I didn't remember having and uh and was just truly embarrassed about about the way that I performed that's my first time on stage yeah and I I thought in my mind I killed and I thought oh I just I I have this seven minute like magical set and I went to the ice house like two weeks later and tried to like to do the five minute Open Mic thing and bombed so hard like seven min it's went by in like two minutes and I truly did have a panic attack went in the bathroom threw up had to like splash water on my face like towel myself off and then I did not get back on stage again for months I would go to open mics and not get out of my car and then I saw the movie comedian with Jerry Seinfeld I lived around the corner from the movie theater right down here and uh went and saw it like four times in like two weeks and I was like got it this is just like just keep writing keep performing holy the more you do it and just never stopped holy [ __ ] dude that documentary was very influential on me as well huge I love to hear you say that that really like turned a a corner for you because up until that point I don't know I don't feel like I'd seen any version or example of anybody at that level grinding it was you know what I'm saying like I don't even think we were dealing with social media at that time were we oh one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen was like Dimitri Martin Baum at like a show in La like I was such a huge fan of his and he came to LA to do some like little show he was trying out new stuff and just bombed it I ran home and like emailed all my friends being like we can do this too I just saw this guy that I like look up to so much just eat [ __ ] like we do we can do this huh it was so much more inspiring than seeing like someone just destroy you only see the special you don't see like what it took to get there that uh that I just I worshiped that movie comedian it's almost like you need like big time actors to post like their early audition tapes or something just so we can see like you know I don't know Will Smith pre-slap like maybe he had some shitty [ __ ] hitch chemistry reads someone had a joke they were like I think when they do like best actor best actress supporting whatever they should have like a clip of them in the movie and then a clip of them just being normal so you can see how much they're acting oh yeah you should just see like Timothy chalamet like at breakfast you know to be like what how much are you changing yourself to be in this thing [ __ ] brilliant yeah there's I mean because even when you get those guys on like a late night couch there's still a heightened version like it's not oh have you ever done like have you ever been on the couch once yeah it's brutal it's like I didn't know it's like sometimes it goes great sometimes it's like truly death yeah I did truly Ferguson that's only one where that's just all improv which was fun to me but also yeah more terrifying because I'm like [ __ ] dude what if I just I'm trying to think it and say it and not second guess so what if that what if that you know no Britain between my thoughts and what if the one thing I say is the thing that gets me banned oh I've done just I've been I always feel like I'm flailing for like five or six minutes really oh yeah and the last time I did it for my last special I went and went on uh Seth Meyers and Kimmel and I had like stories that I had been work shopping on stage oh great just go out and just tell super smart I wasn't gonna like leave it up to that and I burned like 20 minutes of the could be material you know I could be taping a special right now if I had kept that but I was like no it's so painful to be on these couches I need to have something where I just destroy oh bro it's I mean it's why and it I mean that's a huge advantage to have that wherewithal because there's actors that go on these couches you know [ __ ] even somebody like you might get like a Danny Glover who's like a charismatic guy but maybe like he sits down and maybe he's just like not doesn't have a lot to talk about so he's like yeah this one time at a vending machine I wanted Doritos oh yeah what happened it gave me a KitKat commercial break that's also not a great Danny Glover impression yeah but but you know what I'm saying is like having some preparation I think is key are you like that in general like we talked about pre-show you got here uh very prompt and you said I hate being late which I respect and dig is that does that fall in line with like a list of like Jeselnik like things that I will abide by like being on time I think it's like it's like you touch the stove you know it's hot you don't do it again like I just I get anxiety about being late about like looking for parking like I'm [ __ ] this up even if it doesn't matter at all I could have been 20 minutes late it would have been fine but if I don't know the area of like where I'm going like it would have been yeah I'm just like I'm stressing out about it that I'm like eliminate that stress right and going up and being unprepared like I still have nightmares about bombing on stage because I'm not prepared oh yeah like I've got notes in my pocket but I don't look at them I'm like I'll be fine I have time and all of a sudden it's time to go on stage and I can't remember like how to start the joke or how to finish the joke and it's it's awful that I I don't let that happen I just got a set list in my pocket for the shows tonight that are like I type out and print out a new one every day okay new jokes on it so I'm like I'm ready and uh let me ask your uh is it just like bullet points is it like a one word like what say I name the jokes that uh and sometimes I'll if I haven't done the joke in a while and I'm like clapping like what is clapping I've had to sometimes Google if I take some time off I have to Google like Jeselnik and then the name of the joke and hope it comes up and sometimes it does and I'm like years ago I was like nuns what is nuns and then I like Googled it and I did it on some some show so you label your uh set list cards like you would an album like you know like you know track one is this wow that's helpful yeah I'll show you yeah that's probably a uh I mean this type of the type of [ __ ] you could probably like laminate and sell it at your shows no I thought about it but then it like ruins the experience you know like that's those are the that's a set list and then these are the new ones that I'm trying out you'll hit okay so this is all just stuff to work out yeah wow and you have it up there with you or you I always have stool yeah yeah like if I'm on like doing an hour I have it taped to the stool so you don't really see it I I look at it I want to take a drink of water but uh yeah that's yeah I always take it out I went back and forth on that for a minute because I was such a maybe it was me coming from the acting World being like you got to be prepared with your performance but then I'm like when I started doing hours and headlining I was like [ __ ] man like there's stuff I definitely want to get in here that's newer and I'm trying to like remember that it's gonna go here and sometimes you just don't and like why wouldn't you want to make sure you hit everything and there's a way to do it without losing momentum of the show that's just another uh you know challenge that you have to like factor in and figure out to make the uh the show work but for me it really works because I I mean so start and stop it's like one joke next subject here and if I tell people I'm trying out new stuff and I literally read it they love it people enjoy seeing the process and if a joke bombs they laugh at me being like oh of course like I don't know why I thought that would be funny yeah that it's people don't mind with me so much but if I was like I'm just up here talking like I think it would be disingenuous and annoying I'm just up here talking also I'm just you've said two titles of specials or documentaries that I would love to see made on the people we were referring to they're like yeah I've been doing 20 years last time was about six years ago is in my mind I killed is a documentary about all those people that say they do stand up and don't do it really anymore but we get them all together for one Big Show or what was the one you just said um I said uh [ __ ] what uh thought about doing that I don't know um uh [ __ ] something tied to that person that uh I thought about doing that what was it what else [ __ ] I had the second title right there weed does affect your brain and uh I want to tell the kids watching that everything in moderation because there'll be times when you're in a podcast and you want to really uh you see the the smirk grow on your guest going oh I'm fired up for this little bit that he's about to do and then it completely dies and you go oh maybe it's maybe it's time to reel back a little maybe Edibles are the move but you know your dog did eat them that one time and yeah did it turn into a great bit yeah she's alive but do you smoke a lot of pot hey guys Adam Ray here for the about last night podcast and I'm sitting down because I got some big news usually I'm standing up to do comedy but I'm sitting down now because I got the deal of a lifetime first of all sitting is bad for you we all know that whether we're sitting on planes or sitting on a beanbag chair watching porn in front of our kids there's just too much damage you do on the body thankfully Axion has come up with a chair that allows your pelvis to move the way it does while you walk so all 33 vertebrae align into perfect posture the result better breathing better blood flow and relief from the pain it's crazy what you can do when you set your body to do it now these guys are homies of mine my buddy Dennis uh worked with the Clippers as their doctor for 27 years he runs a Wellness Center called Peak Wellness he's a [ __ ] gangster and has uh saved me from surgery numerous times uh I actually met Justin Bieber at his place um and uh and I was in my boxers getting cupping done and Bieber and I locked eyes and I was like this is how we were supposed to meet and Bieber smiled and I never saw him again um but uh this chair is a game changer it's changed the way I live it's changed the way I breathe the way I sit and you guys right now can get that chair for 25 off uh using the promo code aln25 at all 33.com go to all33.com and use promo code aln25 for 25 off this chair it's incredible you gotta get it it's the only chair out there to get we will be getting them for the studio but don't take my word for it check out this video at all 33 we've always pushed to reimagine the way we work that's why we designed our revolutionary sit in motion technology to help people perform and feel their best then all of a sudden the whole world was free to rethink how we work and especially where we work and As Americans came home so did we [Applause] design of our chairs with a person and Planet first mindset that's why we chose to build them here in the United States [Music] refactoring in the U.S means we're able to have eyes on every step of the process for material sourcing to Bart production testing even shipping and we're able to recycle materials use less energy and reduce our carbon footprint we've built the healthiest chairs you will ever sit in keep you and the world moving because movement makes things happen do you smoke a lot of pot I used to yeah no I I took a lot of time off I quit drinking about that's right like five months ago you talk about that yeah didn't smoke pot uh that whole time and then lately I've been like kind of Dipping back into uh back in the pot I was gonna say like what everyone has advice do you agree with that yeah someone has I always say I have to misbehave in some way maybe it's like a nicotine lozenge but I've got to have something that's like my little My Little Secret tree There It Is My Little Secret treat and in my mind I killed um yeah there's uh man the drinking days I definitely so I hit 40 what about in June and I definitely I don't know if it was that number or leading up to it I could feel even at 38 I was like oh this is slowing down big time and it's uh you know obviously just because of the uh the recovery process but also you're like I'm getting busier and I don't want to look like [ __ ] and I don't want to feel like [ __ ] your body just can't handle the uh the rigmarole I remember when I first started going on tour with Adam DeVine an Omaha boy they were drinking since they were like 12. and I was like and I said right after that first tour I go you guys showed me what my liver is truly capable of handling because I've never drank like that in my entire life and uh and there's times when it's just like it's always got to be social for me but when you stopped it was because what was it becoming not fun no it was it was fun uh but so you're a fun guy to drink with I'm sure yeah I I'm not a I'm not I'm definitely not a sad drunk or like an angry drunk right I'm a fun time yeah but like a karaoke fun no I don't do Never karaoke but by the way duh yeah but also I feel like you get you in the right city with the right crew and the right shot of something and somebody's birthday that tugs at your heartstring maybe you get up and maybe you sing song I always say this like if you see me dancing I call the ambulance because I'm about to [ __ ] die like it does happen occasionally but I'm wasted yeah but I I just started looking like I I don't know about you but I still think if someone's like how old are you I want to say 25. bro and I'm telling the truth bro yeah and I look in the mirror I'm like oh my God I'm like yeah I'm 43. but when I see older people and we know a lot of people who like probably should not be drinking sure maybe drinking in public and they're just like the smile is too big or a little sweaty yeah they're just like they can't get their words out and I'm just like oh that it gets sad yeah and I was like I don't want to be that guy I don't want to do that and I during the pandemic I had been sober for like five months because I just had a lot to do I was doing a TV show I was touring I was doing all this stuff and I wasn't drinking the pandemic hit and they were like all right your TV show is done like go home and I was like oh and just stopped at a restaurant and had martinis I was like okay this is something's happening here uh I don't have anything to do for a while and just drank my way through the pandemic well I got a dog and everything I wasn't like too bad but at the end of that I was like I don't like it doesn't feel good but let me try to I'll just just stick to beer you know just I'll just drink after shows and then I went home to visit my family I hadn't been home in a long time and normally the whole family would sit around and drink we weren't like it wasn't crazy like drinking beers watching football games but after the pandemic like almost everyone in my family was sober for one reason or another some people were pregnant some people were just like I'd give it up over the pandemic and I was the only one drinking and I just was embarrassed and then when I came home I like drank on the flight home to LA and I was just like you know what I'm done wow I don't know if I don't know if I'd never drink again but it was just like it's time it felt good it didn't feel like I was giving something up it was like okay yeah let me go walk taking control of the moment did something happen on the plane with a flight attendant or a passenger that maybe also no not this time but I have bummer I have done I have an embarrassing moments on airplanes for real because of booze oh yeah I mean that helped boost helped because I and do you drink on airplanes not like I've heard Bert say recently that he like he can't not there's not a plane he hasn't been on ways and drink there's probably I'll probably drink on I don't know 50 not a lot so no I guess I mean one every now and then I did it the last time I got hammered on a flight was um uh uh to Australia and um and but that was super long and myself and another guy on the show were up and everybody was asleep and we there was a bigger area near the front of the plane and the flight attendant was a big fan of his and she just kind of turned it into a mini bar for us and it was awesome yeah that sounds great yeah but uh on like a three-hour flight to KC tomorrow I'll probably keep it keep it clean even then I was like well what I have to do when I get there you know it's it's free and it's fun and like you're getting hydrated so you get a little extra drunk that is you have a great time that I truly and on the way back from a show you know when you just you just landed LAX and go home like that's when I would really turn it on and uh and I just I realized like now it's like being hydrated on the flight so I can just like get through the weekend better everything's helpful right but I would bring this I had this little vape pen it was a little like really nice vape pens that like it was called dosest yeah and it was uh I like loved them and I would tell people you can still smoke that's in an airplane bathroom and now the alarm doesn't go off it's amazing and everyone's like oh cool you're really into that and I'm coming back from Denver I did a show and I did a theater in Denver and I'm flying home and I'm drinking I'm like I got my vodka rocks and I go in the bathroom and hit the thing and the alarm goes off panic I mean I like I was like what oh [ __ ] it's me and got out of the bathroom flight attendant runs up and they just say over them lots of speakers like do not Vape or smoke in the bathroom and but they don't know it's me and I'm In First Class so I'm like okay but stupid me oh no I hit the button and I'm like I was in there when the alarm off I don't know what and they're just like oh and when they land they give me a note being like you're in violation of federal law and the cops came and took me off the plane and just like what happened I got Vaped in the bathroom and they're like okay like you got no warrants out for your arrest so we're gonna let you go oh and totally fine but I was so embarrassed that for days afterwards I'd be walking around Hollywood and I'd be like someone would look at me and I'd be like oh my God it was that bad I never like Vaped again so do you get embarrassed easily or just things like that that are maybe no I'm like truly wrong like if I just like fell down I'm like I felt like get the [ __ ] out of here but if I'm like if I'm vaping in the bathroom something I know is wrong and like if they had landed the plane if they had not flown back to LA I would have like I I would have [ __ ] yeah that would have been brutal I'm hoping no one recognizes me like I'm just like this would be so bad that's not a cool thing to get uh The Vape guy yeah [ __ ] brutal yeah the um do you enjoy flying did you get used to that I always say it's like a grasses Greener thing where if I'm stuck at home too long I'm like I want to get back on the road me too then you're on the road you're like we know be great it's just to stay at home yeah like when you're done with the tour and someone's like what are you gonna do for a vacation I'm like nothing yeah this is my vacation normally the idea of getting on a plane and going to some Resort is brutal to me yeah if I'm flying you better pay me to do that yeah because you mentioned you're getting ready to go on another big tour which I'm pumped for you for and I guess I'm just always curious like there's different ways to do it now obviously playing jet bus have you done the bus thing never but I hear it's great yeah I hear it's great do you think that would be a uh would that like you know get you back into a booze type mindset because I feel like the bus thing is just like there's it's inevitable at some point where cocktail is going to be flown oh man because I'd kind of like to be alone on the road I'd like to bring friends I might have an opener yeah you know maybe have like one friend with me but I'm not like I don't have an Entourage so just the idea of just being on like a bus by myself like sounds glorious someone played video games while I drink a bottle of vodka doesn't sound uh yeah it does sound awesome John Madden had the bus thing for a while that was [ __ ] red yeah truly everywhere did you watch that Madden doc no oh my God is it called like making Madden or being John Malcolm Madden it's it's incredible is it like a like NFL Football Life holy [ __ ] yeah it's it was an ESPN uh it came out uh ironically a week after he passed um but it's phenomenal I just had no idea the guy was so like you know you think of them as the video game but also you just you know if you're a uh a decent enough sports fan you go oh yeah the uh the Hall of Fame coach and but I mean how he went from how beloved he was as a coach and then how much he crushed the commentating game unexpectedly it was one of those things where he was so good so quick yeah and and just like got people just were like oh actually you're actually gonna do these games oh you're actually gonna do and you can do the Super Bowl and now we're gonna put you with another guy and you're gonna be the voice of football pretty much and then you're gonna and then how he just turned into this like true brand it's uh similar to the comedian doc I'd say where it's like getting to see how somebody became what they uh what they are is always cool right I don't know no totally it's inspirational what did you watch during uh the pandemic like that uh or what do you watch in general that's your guilty pleasure or your go-to or if you're needing if you're having writer's block uh I don't know when you were writing for Fallon which was what just [ __ ] thousands of jokes a day yeah I wanted to ask you this I wrote this one question down and there's a bunch I've written down that we haven't gotten to uh at all because we're just flown here but uh how many jokes do you think you could write truly in a day if you just if you're you know getting paid or not and you just like because you strike me as someone where they can just [ __ ] flow out like 50 in an hour I could do and this is no ego involved a hundreds if you give me the premises that's what they would do on Fallon as and I think they do a lot of late night shows where the writer's assistant would would go through and get all these different headlines yeah and just send those to us and I realized one of this guy this uh writer named Alex Bays whoever look up to he's the head writer I Believe on Seth Meyers right now and at the time he was the head writer on Weekend Update he would come in and kind of help us out because in the beginning when I got hired it was only me and one other guy writing the monologue no now it's like eight people but at the time it was the two of us that's awesome we were having a hard time really like it wasn't like okay these are the jokes we'll we'll pick out eight it was like we don't like these write some more and we're like that was eight hours of our best stuff you uh we now we have two hours you think it's gonna be better like that's not how this works but let's try and who's making that call sorry that throws out eight hours that's just straight Jimmy did it took us eight hours to do them like it was saying like no should we give Jimmy like uh jokes at like 10 or 11. and he looks through it and picks you know some out of those yeah and we need to have and they'll run through in like a rehearsal that afternoon but sometimes he'd like eight of them and we were in pretty good shape sometimes he's like oh we like we've got 12 here and sometimes it was like none of them and that was that was rough damn yeah so they brought in this other kid and he kind of helped you guys yeah they were just like could you help us out SNL was off for a week he'd come in and they'd pay him and he would just take he'd he'd have the uh the headline of the news article delete everything after it and then write his joke and they were always great that I was like that's what I'm gonna do wow and so if you just give me those it can be about like the the interest rate I'm gonna give you a bad joke but it's a joke and it's like well I don't know what you want so here's everything this wasn't that tough yeah did you enjoy if you're not um did can it ruin the fun of joke writing if you're doing that for like you got out after what a few years of one year I did one year exactly and then bailed I knew almost immediately this was not for me I liked everyone there it was like a good experience Jimmy was a great boss but I was like you don't want me you didn't know your voice yet but it's clearly not this and the show was so successful right off the bat that they weren't looking to like change things up but they weren't gonna fire me and I didn't know that I always thought every 13 weeks I want to be out of here but uh but I couldn't write a joke from my own act for that whole year I would get up The Comedy seller every night because I didn't want to lose that muscle yeah I didn't I heard a lot of people who got the writing job and stopped doing stand-up I didn't want to do that but I didn't write anything for myself and after I left found it took me like a few months to like relax and be able to write for myself again luckily my ACT is so different yeah from from Fallon that it didn't like have that much of an overlap but it wasn't it wasn't fun almost a direct opposite um did the show make you laugh let's move on uh what did uh What uh wait so what does make you laugh getting back to the shows like that you like to watch comedy-wise and then give me like dramas and [ __ ] like comedy-wise I truly truly love uh I think you should leave I could watch I think you should leave over and over again on a loop I love it so much me too that to me is just the best and I can't think of a show that I've enjoyed anywhere close to it comedy just it doesn't hit me right where I like like a drama that has funny moments in it like I think Sopranos is one of the funniest TV shows of all time I love succession now yeah me too uh that I if you can put a joke into something very serious like I love that yes remember Justified yeah love that show I thought that was hilarious but it wasn't supposed to be yeah you know anything comedy I just I'm not watching Modern Family because it's just too I just it's just not fun yeah um yeah there's something uh there's something about succession like the writing on that that's a it's one of those total package shows we were like the acting's brilliant the writing they don't waste words um did you watch Tiger King are there things like that that you'll know like I heard about it and was just too late to be like okay I'm gonna get into this um that's how I was during the pandemic I I think I tried at one point was like no like stranger things made it 30 seconds it was like peace I haven't done that either Game of Thrones Game of Thrones I was into from okay one done it should I not now it was great I mean at the time you had to watch it it was like the one thing you had to watch the next day it's like all these articles yeah that I was into it I've been watching House of dragon but not as like an intently um but I got into reality TV during the pandemic there we go I had a friend who got me into big brother yeah and which I never thought I would have watched but I got really into Big Brother several seasons and The Challenge on on MTV The Challenge was like my [ __ ] is it like Road Rules real world that's how it started now it's just reality people that they bring in from like different countries and it's like hot dumb super athletic people and then some who aren't so athletic just like doing these competitions and then getting wasted at night and trying to fight each other yes by the way there's a show title fighter [ __ ] or just call it hot dumb [ __ ] where it's just a bunch of hot dumb [ __ ] that try to [ __ ] we'll be right back we'll keep it right here um would you want to try to sell shows and make shows do you watch some of these things and go all right I now see because I definitely Netflix throws up so many rom-coms from like the formula is just like rom-coms in general I feel like it's pretty tough to find a completely new take but um do you enjoy rom-coms have you cried at a rom-com I don't think I've ever cried but I've liked a few you're like my best friend's wedding is good there's a couple that I'm like okay this is like a rom-com that I can tolerate you know something about Mary is a rom-com I love that yeah sweet uh have you quite an a movie ever enjoy yeah yeah oh yeah give me one don't say Jurassic Park three because we're on the podcast right now you know what you know what movie made me a [ __ ] like ball like a little [ __ ] girl what's that and people were shocked La La Land oh the end when like they they meet up it's like they have no perspect of what their lives could have been I was like like a [ __ ] little girl me too lost it what does that say about us I don't know it was like a sad cry it was just like oh my God this is like because they were both happy and I'm not a [ __ ] I'm not one of those guys like I don't cry like I wish I cried more because it is like a release like it feels good I definitely am we're gonna add all this out yeah no I would uh I'd love to cry more yeah oh really there is a cathartic release from it I at some point I just literally thought about that two days ago because I'm I'm definitely I don't know if it's being raised by a single mom and and and uh just being more sensitive or just being teased as a fact get whatever it is like that I just feel I I don't cry easy but I definitely uh there's moments like Forrest Gump when he finds out the [ __ ] kid is his Haley Jo Osmond gets me every time and I know it's coming if I'm running out the door and it's on TBS I'm like don't watch it you got to go be funny right now but I'll stop and I'll watch Hanks go what's his name honey she's like it's forest and he's like that's my name and she's like is is it smart or is it that that that's that's why he won the Oscar is he smarter is he stupid she's like he's the smartest [ __ ] kid that's ever lived oh God so it doesn't it doesn't run funny or people want to sit by I mean I'm paraphrasing now but yeah that was a [ __ ] I mean I hated that movie but that that no I was a Pulp Fiction guy those movies were competing directly yeah they were and I was obsessed with Pulp Fiction and it drove me crazy that Forrest Gump was like getting all the love and I'm like this is this is cheesy I don't know if you could it's rewatchable I think it may have been a product of its time once you on you speak you just triggered me you've done Bill Simmons's podcast yeah that to me is very cool you've done a lot of cool [ __ ] thank you your thoughts and prayer specials to me one of the best specials um out there thank you so congrats for making some great work but Simmons is one of my favorite pods that's right you've been on a couple times or just once a couple times awesome yeah that's not on here but I definitely wanted to make sure I told you how cool I [ __ ] think that is I love that pod it's extra special when he has on Comedians and actors and hearing him geek out about it is very cool you've never been on like I've been in Rich Eisen a handful of times and uh I really like being a podcast guest on someone that you admire like a Bill Simmons like oh yeah Brett eastonellis has a podcast and like he's one of my favorite writers when I was a kid and like being on his podcast where he's got to research and be really nice to you yes and ask you questions about yourself this is the best yeah like if anyone has a podcast that I admire this is not an example of that but if I I admire has a podcast I'm like yes I'll be a guest yeah because I want you to be nice to me and ask me questions yeah Pat McAfee when I as I'm playing Vince McMahon on the rock show about his life right and uh he they talked about the when I first introduced events in the first season they put me up and and Pat was like oh it looks like whatever we'll see what happens and then some of his little guys on the show were and I love the show were like dogging on me so then I made a video and tweeted it at Pat and they pulled up and played on the show because I basically just roasted the guys that were like [ __ ] this guy does not even give me a shot Pat was like give me a chance we haven't even seen him he [ __ ] looks like the guy whatever we'll see you gotta give him a shot and then I just kind of roasted him and then Pat was like we gotta get you in studio when you're in town so now I'm just like desperately trying to like get out there and time it out because I you know and they they said Zoom would would maybe be uh an option but I'm like [ __ ] that dude it's it might be funny on Zoom is real tough the timing's off yeah timing's off did you try to do any of that stuff during cover did you want to did you relish the break like we were talking about earlier like because I was like I wouldn't have taken a break if it hadn't been made to take a break you know so it was like the first time in forever I would finish I would tape a special and then just start immediately writing the next one that I was like oh I and I couldn't write I wasn't able to be creative I got my podcast up and running again and would do that over Zoom uh and then we did one like we did like our 100th episode over zoom and sold tickets to that which was fun but I couldn't do Zoom comedy shows any I didn't even do outdoor shows until I got vaccinated really do any of those no how come she was like I'm sitting at home all day like taking care of my dog because of this this thing but now I'm gonna go out and catch it at a [ __ ] like showing the round I'm not it just seemed stupid to me or like even if I'm being safe what if someone comes to see me and they get covered on the way like I didn't want to be responsible for that it just seemed we're safe enough here let's just hold it down what makes you get a dog and what kind of dog do you have I got a dog uh basically I mean I was I lost it real early in covet like the first month was brutal where I had people like get in touch and be like you need to you lost it together yeah yeah like I was just what got you like time meant nothing it was like what am I gonna do it doesn't matter what day it is I just wanted to be like six months from now and I would like go walk to Walgreens and get a bottle of vodka and just like drink all day that if a friend was like Hey can you do my podcast over the phone I'd be like thank God and I would like pour it back in the bottle and be sober all day like I just needed something to live for was it the overall feeling of just like um uncertainty that was like uncertainty like it's a year of this you know if it had been like in a month we'll have it I'm like okay that's the day yeah great but knowing like there's no time limit on this no expiration date just it was like why not just get drunk I couldn't think of a reason not to get [ __ ] up and my friends were like hey you're tweeting like this is delete all these tweets oh really and sober up yeah we tweeting some nasty like some Roseanne ambient [ __ ] just dumb like embarrassing stuff Jews is for Thanksgiving you're like what does that even mean nothing like edgy or weird but like friends would be like hey you told me to [ __ ] myself on Twitter and like would you delete that and I'm like I was joking like I know you were but people don't know that and I was like oh this is embarrassing I don't remember sending these tweets deleted them got a dog Whitney Cummings helped me get a dog cool and I went to went to him through some rescue organization they sent me pictures and I realized Whitney was like guys have to have big dogs because I would have happily had some little tiny dogs to cuddle on the couch that's what I got what she gave me a bunch of these like big dogs and there was one that looked stood out I'm like oh that one's beautiful I'm like oh yeah he's your if you want him he's yours I'm like great when do I pick him up and then like he'll be here in a month I'm like what do you mean like he's in Korea he was a rescue from a Korean meat factory and they shipped him over here and I picked him up at the airport the day the black lives matter protest started so instead of like meeting the dog and being like Okay and like they was like take him get him home before curfew starts and try to potty train him while you can't go outside and find out which side of the fence he stands on this issue yeah yeah uh wow dude yeah Bond immediately I mean I bonded with him immediately kind of like turn up the heat in the house yeah yeah but he was he was uh he did he didn't really care about me for quite some time well yeah he was just adjusting to his surroundings they're aloof this breed is just kind of like okay like you can pet me if you want but I'm not that into it I'm not gonna cuddle with you uh uh he's a weird one were you ever been another uh type of animal uh or pet guy like goldfish you have like my sister had gerbils as a kid but the [ __ ] mom ate like 30 of the kids and that was a wrap on that species in our house uh I think there's also like just single mom being like here's if I can something to replace you that you know I don't know but there's any sort of like I don't know ferret or um you know iguanas chinchillas we eat some cats we had a dog but no nothing too weird I think there was a goldfish around you know you go to the carnival and like when someone comes up with a goldfish we my sisters had one that just never died we would like try to kill it they would put like they would put like nail polish in the bowl I'm like this will be it and it would still live it lived for like 10 years shut the [ __ ] up what was this fish's name I don't remember I don't think anything it was just like here you go your nail polish in the bowl we gotta kill it this thing's gonna kill us yeah they're just gonna do it it was like Rasputin rasputed there is a there is a moment with the Goldfish where you're like your outlet you're overstaying you're welcome dude you're making it weird we all thought you were gonna die in 10 days which is goldfish standard I don't know there's a reason you have the bull and not in a full aquarium get out of here so you're not good enough for a full aquarium holy [ __ ] that's [ __ ] funny um you got a few more minutes sure and 10 more okay thank you it's been great thoughts and prayers I want to go back to that real quick one of my uh Good Buds Bob Stelton he's a uh big uh host on the uh the the best uh Sports Show in Seattle and uh you're one of his favorite comics and I literally I was telling him uh that uh you were coming on and he was like I was literally [ __ ] watching it again yesterday um is that your do you take note or um or uh you know umbrage with the uh with your work and are you like dialed in on what people like and how much people like it and what is your um I don't want to say crowning achievement but like what do you feel up to this point you really go I hang my hat on that and I would if Spielberg was like send me your best [ __ ] tomorrow email it what would you send I'd send my new special thoughts uh fire in the Maternity Ward I think that's like that's in prayers I I was like maybe this is bad the audience wasn't that into me and I was like oh this is weird uh I didn't love the venue I didn't love the background I was like huh and it's my most popular Special by far it's like just put it out there see what's up my new one I'm like this is I was like telling people like this is my best yet and everyone's like we'd like thoughts and press better I'm like all right man I think that's because you were like telling people you know it's like people want to discover [ __ ] for themselves yeah I think people see the one like the first thing the sequel's Never Gonna Be yeah and most people don't even know about my Comedy Central stuff they just know about the Netflix things that I've just kind of throw it out there and like if I'm happy with it cool there's nothing I'm really embarrassed about but uh but like the Trump roast um and uh find the maternity ward in my two like favorites front brush was your first roast yeah nerve-wracking exciting ready for it exciting so ready just like I was I was built for roasts and I knew enough in advance and I was using like jokes that I'd had for years you know I joke for my first ever stand upset made it in the Trump roast wow and uh and then like the sheen one was like four months later so I'm like okay I killed that one now I've gotta like do it again with no prep time and didn't want to like let down that was just stressful and then Roseanne was just whatever and then I was like I'm done with these you definitely felt like the most obvious like when it was announced you on the Deus it was like oh [ __ ] because there are you know people they bring on where you're like really yeah but you felt like the unanimous home run that I don't think and not feel that way about um Nikki too uh Glazer um yeah Nikki Natasha yeah perfect totally uh so no nerves going to that just you're like I have all these [ __ ] great bats to hit home runs I just get to pick which bat I prepared so much I've ran the set so much I had it down and I even like I would sit I would sit and meditate thinking about walking from my seat to unseating the Deus up to the podium cool like that's where you're gonna get nervous so I like I had it all mapped out and then right before I went on stage and I'm just like waiting and like I remember thinking like okay I hope I'm meaner than Lisa Lampanelli I've been meaner than Whitney Cummings and then when they would do their set I was like oh my God I'm so much meter I thought it was going to be like oh they did that it was like oh this is going to be great and then the situation went right before me and bombed so hard they had to like stop the show for 10 minutes that was the Trump one yeah the situation I [ __ ] forgot about that might be one of the craziest people that's ever been involved in a roast well what happened to him was this was the dawn of Twitter so before people if someone bombed at the roast they cut them out you didn't show them you maybe showed a second when you went to commercial of them telling a story or whatever but he didn't show he didn't embarrass them the situation he's halfway through a set everyone's tweeting the situation is bombing people are booing they had to market the roast as watch the situation bomb and they made him look better on screen that he did in the room where people it was like a riot that was bad it was so bad it was so bad that I was like oh [ __ ] I'm next Jeff Ross is on TV like guys calm like let him finish let him finish so a riot as in everyone's booing like get the like you're ruining comedy screaming you're not even trying or was he just like so cocky he didn't prepare he and they told him here's how you say the jokes and he was just like I got it I got it he's wearing sunglasses and they gave him Grace the first couple they're like okay and then he's just like wasn't taken seriously enough that they they flipped out yikes it was bad didn't you make a comment about him when you got up like I was like Mike sorentino great job by the way if everyone loved us like that was an ad-lib I've been slaving over these jokes but you love that bro that's so funny sometimes just you know the honesty of the moment is like what crush is the hardest Trump did you get to talk to him at all and if you've talked about this you know at uh no no one's ever asked uh the um we'll be right back uh I shook his hand I didn't mean him before okay I'd go roast him and he was happy they said he was happy with me because he was worried the show was gonna be bad after the situation he was against the crowd gonna come back cause he's got to go like a few after me this Jizzle tits guy shaved it he made a great TV right and he was just pumped he just went thank you and he I heard he doesn't shake hands but he shook mine it was like thank you and I sat down maybe he is cool what was his handshake like he was talking about running for president but still a joke then yeah but like the next day I was like maybe he is cool because Jeff Ross liked him he'd yeah before and the next day he was like I want to see the birth certificate and I was like Home Alone Trump people liked when he was like wait your last little boy he's like Joe Perry she's after me he's like you're not supposed to say the name of the game oh yeah it's like Trump's on SNL I can't wait to watch this will be great yeah I remember seeing a Jay Leno um uh clip of it was Leno Dave Matthews and Trump and Scarlett Johansson Trump's like yeah sometime you can all come on Scarlet you of course for sure the other two maybe not and I was like even that was just kind of perfect I was like yeah let me come on through I love tits you know he didn't say it but he was you know they were all perving out oh he was funny on the roast like when he did his like ad-lib at his like rebuttal at the end he was like going off script and like funny like I was like oh wow this is like people were celebrating him because there's no there's no pressure right they're not looking at you because he was such a caricature of a person almost where it was like oh man which is why it's so crazy that he just [ __ ] you stay in that lane who knows honestly we'd probably still be like dude you watch the [ __ ] Trump whatever because it was such silly entertainment but like if only he could like you know acknowledge the joke of it which he can't because he doesn't want to be the joke of it but if he could be that brilliant and go and almost do what the Kardashians do and go [ __ ] lean into it who cares if people hate on you but he's legit when he was like rising to power and I'm so happy we're talking politics and he was rising to power like he was taking out republican nominees as potential nominees left and right I know just by roasting I know he like destroyed Marco Rubio that had been destroyed him he was like oh my God he's just he's just just trashing everyone's timings unbelievable that's what's so [ __ ] crazy you're like like the just oh man like you're standing in a row of what [ __ ] 8 12 15 and just at not even like looking or screaming just out of the side of your mouth knowing the camera is going to cut to you too and waiting for the joke and then like doing it like I was like [ __ ] dude did he script all this um who are you voting for no so um can you go too far with roasts yes I've heard people say they've gotten offended Saget famously you know in uh I think was the Geraldo who uh was my favorite comic still is I don't know how you feel about it I love drunk you did yeah I thought he was just so under not under appreciate I think people in comedy but well yeah I do I do feel that way because I think he just was truly known for the roast with but he crushed on those so that's not a bad thing to be known for because but but I don't know I don't know how many people saw that and saw full hours of stand up I get to host for him once um and Jesse Joyce was I'm sure you got to know opening for him and uh at the Irvine Improv and it was like the greatest weekend of my life because they treated me like real people were really cool wanted to like figure out other dates to all do as a group whatever but I got to watch like the how good he was for an hour as a comic and not you know with uh with holding the mic and leaning on a mic stand and not um not in the Row setting which is not a bad setting just just different than a comedy club right um but I would even hear from uh what you see in Saget in the Geraldo uh special um when he passed how uncomfortable Bob was and they were telling him hey uh I'm sure you've seen this where they're like look like you're having fun Bob and he was like there's some pretty offensive [ __ ] being [ __ ] said to me like it's not that easy and I'm like I'm a pretty sensitive guy I'm trying my best oh the look they get when he I think they're like look like you're enjoying yourself and he's like okay I'm enjoying myself yeah yeah I'm Sweating Bullets like this guy's killing me yeah because nobody no one gets to see or hear what's going to be said right you're going in yeah fully they want you to have the reaction to it and there are tricks the ways around it I'm pretty sure like Roseanne read the jokes you know beforehand but for the most part they they they have no idea have you been on the receiving end of or fired off a joke where you're like and you clocked a reaction or just something hit you a little different unexpectedly and you were like oof no because I was one like I was the unknown guy no the joke would be like who the [ __ ] is this guy you know I mean I was like okay like the time say that no like I'm I'm 30 years old I'm not upset about this like it's fine and I'm not interesting to roast you know there are other there are better targets but I definitely had especially the Roseanne roast oh I remember Marley Matlin on the Trump roast I was trying to set up I was like really nice to Lisa Lampanelli because everyone was so mean to her that I was like I'm gonna be nice to her and that'll be my joke yeah but right before her was uh Marley Matlin and I told this joke that they kept telling me please don't do this joke please don't say it and I'm like I've got it like we're gonna cut it I'm like I'm gonna do it anyway just for the room and she was pissed I said uh I forget what the joke it was like like you become this amazing actress um professional actor famous actress even though you have this disability you're ugly and like they everyone was just like mad for a second and then but it was then I was like Lisa Lampanelli you're cool and it was like everyone's like oh my God like I had to set it up that way but people at the roast they would before they hand me back Anthony nice to meet you and then afterwards would not talk to me never [ __ ] never just because they can't yeah I was that way uh in the fraternity I pledged um did a pie at USC here and there were guys you said you did the Frat with uh Greg right did you find this also to be true where it was like you know it's part of part of the initiation part of getting into the house where the older guys give you some [ __ ] some worse than others they were definitely definitely guys where you're like things were not great for you prior to this and you're taking it out of me um but you're going a little too hard in the paint and [ __ ] you know I got no defense here and you're [ __ ] just dunking on a five-year-old and [ __ ] rubbing your nuts on his face and uh and then afterwards you're like what's up man welcome to the house and I'm like family now I can't separate that like unless because there's also like even in that everything in moderation like when I was on the other side I was such a [ __ ] goofball I dress up as old brothers and do dumb [ __ ] and pretend to be like a British brother from Chico State and say funny make people like you know you know what's the [ __ ] uh Fruity Pebbles theme song you know and if they couldn't get it then I'd freak out you know dumb [ __ ] like that and then I became friends with him afterwards because they're like oh you want a piece of [ __ ] to me there's a way to whatever but I guess what I'm saying is is um you know it's it's tough when uh could you separate that in the Frat world I didn't yeah I mean I got in and I loved my pledge brothers because they like were hazing to bring you guys closer it's like okay well that worked but now I hate you you can't be like it's hell night and there'd be this so mean to us and then afterwards be like what are you doing for spring break next year Hawaii my dad welcome to the club welcome to the club no I hate you I hate the club I don't want to be in the club now yeah I barely came around after after I got in [ __ ] you still got homies from that world though oh yeah it's crazy that I mean I'm never surprised when I do hear like some kid died from drinking a gown of two percent milk in [ __ ] Nebraska you're like duh man some places that guys are [ __ ] crazy there was one uh I got I would just get stone and sit in the back and uh and you know they'd have like the uh the Brotherhood meetings with their breakdown all the new pledges right so we're on the list Eric Edelstein what do we think everyone was in I went to college with Eric guys real chill loves tits which we all we all loved it dude so so that's two for two in my book and the guy's real chill with another guy uh Jason yeah I uh I talked to him for like 10 minutes dude was not chilly like kept trying to hit on a girl that I was talking to so that's gonna be a no for me another reason behind the backpack yeah I also talked to him uh seemed real cool we actually had a lot in common about the single mom thing and um and loved hits which again that's thanks for bringing that up that was that was a big one but when he turned around to walk to the bathroom he had this big black dick hanging off the back of his shoulder and I did this four times and they eventually kicked me out I was in acting school I was using it as an acting exercise it was very baked I had two people that were laughing and when I stood up and they kicked me out I go who's coming with me the [ __ ] three guys came and we got high but uh but yeah I could never um I could never separate that and some guys just needed that this guy tried to make a kid pee his pants and the kid goes [ __ ] you and walked out that was still to this day I've never seen anything that crazy it's seeing a grown man after the kid he told be your [ __ ] pants and like you and I remember sitting by and giggling being like dude that's an insane thing to ask them to do in fact hey Ray shut the [ __ ] up and I was like all right man it just he seems like a good like I don't know you're trying to make him leave right now this is so Bonkers no I remember I'll never forget we're getting hazed it's like one of those overnight hazing things yeah and it wasn't as bad as some other places at my school but it was it was it wasn't fun and we're blindfolded in our like boxer shorts up against kneeling up against the wall that'll never not be a thing by the way yeah and it's like pitch black we're out there all night and some guy walks up and he's like don't you guys move don't you guys move I've been drinking too much beer and then you feel like warm like warm liquid hit your back and he's like going oh and I jump up take off the blindfold and I'm like what the [ __ ] and I see he's holding he looks shocked and he's holding like a squirt bottle with warm weddings dude I would never pee on you and I'm like how am I supposed to know that I'm blindfolded you tell him you're peeing on me I'm not gonna be like no that's water like I was like what the f and then I was like then you got to put the blindfold back on and kneel back down and pretend like everything's cool like it wasn't so much like I'm mad at what you did to me it's like I'm mad that you're like this like I've seen the side of you that's like I don't want to hang out with you yeah at that point you go I'd much rather you have peed on me and let me just see fully who you are like there were guys who'd be like come to come over tonight come into my house and clean my apartment yeah and you'd come and like make you smoke a joint yeah you drink beers they talk to you yeah it's like you hang and you're doing [ __ ] that's constructive yes don't like don't make me get on bows and toes and see how long I can hold it do you guys do bows and toes I mean the plank but you're on your office yeah a version of that yeah wall sits were gnarly I mean we did this one thing where we had to eat um we went to this place called La Barca next to USC it's like a really great Mexican spot and you get this thing called like I think baby's arm or baby's foot it was a [ __ ] burrito it was like nine burritos in one eat that and then there was a kid named Jeremy Shapiro shout out the other kid by the way who made the kid pee I won't say his last name Jared you know who you are and uh so we had to eat this burrito and then a kid who was in uh in the service LED military training around the house and around the campus bro I've never um been so glad that I was in a musical and missed that night I was in How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying I was like how to [ __ ] skip out on puking on frat rope man it was I saw everyone was so sick and I'm like I can't believe that they're doing I mean one kid I was like oh you're going to the hospital the cramps she was having because everyone was like you had to finish the burrito and then you're just crazy of course I had like I didn't have a musical but thank God but I had a student job my job was Monday through uh Thursday I would I would call high school students and talk to them about Tulane yeah and so I got to leave I'd go to dinner they'd be yelling at us right when it started to get like this is this sucks I got to leave and I was like this is I'm breezing through this not realizing the resentment that was brewing at the tournament yeah but hell week was oh yeah it was not fun um well that's cool man do you ever talk about that stuff on stage there's so many frat stories I have that I'm like some are funny they're more I guess podcast stories like this than really I don't know I feel like people already look at me as in a certain way or I'm like do I really want to [ __ ] add into that I was a frat guy yeah [ __ ] of course you were but I'm like I was a funny frat guy sure you were yeah of course I actually brought it up on Marin when I did his podcast and he was just like oh yeah and just you know that was the wrong thing to bring up totally um all right we're gonna close this out with a little uh inside the actor Studio 10 questionnaire R.I.P James Lipton no doubt would have been on the show at some point so we're gonna get to know Anthony jeselnick with 10 quick questions that uh Lipton would uh throw at uh at all the Grits here we go I'll be Lipton I'm here with Anthony Jeselnik Anthony what is your favorite word [ __ ] what is your least favorite word I'm on the spot now um I can email us as well I hate the word uh mean-spirited what turns you on sexually or not um pleasure what turns you off pain what is your favorite curse word I know you said [ __ ] for your favorite word is there another [ __ ] and are you a hard F or a hard where where do you hate it I hit the k you [ __ ] don't skip a beat what sound of noise do you love the sound of rain in what city in what city yeah all of them it's an Atterbury follow-up yeah rain on a window ran on a car uh car window yeah house window whatever like that pouring like I guess in New Orleans if I had to pick one because that rain would [ __ ] come down but it's just amazing that's why I asked like torrential downpour or torrential downpour Yeah the more the better what sound or noise do you hate kids playing get out of my face what game what game what game could they play that could truly drive you off a bridge just that screaming yeah that's that like we're running around with screaming I get it but shut the [ __ ] up bro yeah there's just was at Disneyland and every kid's acting like they're getting fisted by Captain Hook and you're like you dropped your churro Toby Life Goes On what profession other than your own would you like to attempt uh Carpenter nice what profession would you not like to do lawyer because pops did it not just because of that but I got to see that use yellow legal pads just like oh get out yeah is it also anything of like the just I don't know the nine to like the punch in punch out nice all of it it's just being in court like yes yes no doing the papers just trying to find little Sam outfit every day just no thanks yeah last question Anthony Jeselnik If Heaven exists what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates I thought you were funny maybe the best answer so far uh super fun man hope you had a good time yeah definitely appreciate you making time uh you're on Twitter in the gram and Anthony Jeselnik Twitter Graham Tick Tock I got a team doing all that [ __ ] yeah you're posting a ton of your which is smart like you said all the Comedy Central ones that people aren't accustomed to you gotta make sure they're privy to them and the tour uh will start when uh next month October amazing anthonyjustline.com go see him he's a beast one of the best thanks brother thanks man foreign thanks Rock guys Adam Ray here for the about last night podcast hope you enjoyed that episode it was a good one a lot of laughs a lot of Tears a lot of uh stuff to uh to think about and chew on huh because that's what life's all about chewing on the good stuff nobody said that maybe Denzel did maybe Tom Hanks did maybe they said it together in Philadelphia the point is Click subscribe right here on the aln logo so you can get more episodes and stay up to date when new content drops highlights animations Clips it's all here for you baby I'll see you next time oh I don't know how to Blink

Channel: About Last Night Podcast with Adam Ray

Views: 36,864

Keywords: Anthony Jeselnik, anthony jeselnik stand up, anthony jeselnik roast, anthony jeselnik and enemies, anthony jeselnik twitter, anthony jeselnik stand up full, anthony jeselnik podcast, Full Anthony Jeselnik Interview, adam ray, adam ray podcast, comedy podcast, the jeselnik & rosenthal vanity project, anthony jeselnik shakespeare, anthony jeselnik netflix, anthony jeselnik new material, adam ray anthony jeselnik, adam ray interview, comedian adam ray, funny comedian podcast, lol

Id: HaMsaFj7hYA

Length: 94min 24sec (5664 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 19 2022