From Deadlock to Wedlock | Pastors Carter & Teresa

bless the Lord O my soul well here we are you know occurred to me today that in this generation that we're living in the family has always been the strength of the nation strong fathers and mothers raised strong children and the family has been the strength of the church it just occurred to me that devil is working overtime to get people married who shouldn't be married and working overtime to stop people from getting married who should be married it and we're going to put an end to that in this church how many we'll start with the ladies first if you're single and you want to get married would you please stand up come on thank you sort of like popcorn it took a while but it you all did now for the men that are here if you're single and you want to get married would you please stand up all of the men in this church god bless you thank you may be seated now if you would turn in your Bibles to Genesis chapter 2 and Judges chapter 21 Genesis 2 judges 21 I want to speak to you a message is called from deadlock to wedlock now father I need the same anointing today as always there's something wrong when young people cannot meet each other and get married in the house of God it's the Lord as a shepherd as a grandfather as a father give me the grace to address this topic to speak to it from your heart and for what I have learned over the years Lord if there's something unnatural in the in the air of this congregation I'm asking you to change it I'm asking you Lord Jesus Christ to open doors that need to be open and closed doors that need to be closed and father I thank you God with all my heart I have trusted you for this I've sought you I have prayed I have waited on you and you have spoken to me and so on obedience to you Lord I stand to speak the things that I'm about to speak and father I thank you for this in Jesus name now some of the things I'm going to share are from the Word of God some of the things are from my own heart so I shared this morning the Apostle Paul when giving instructions to one of the churches said some of the things I'm about to speak are not by commandment but I'm going to give you my opinion on it Paul had walked with God he had he had revelation of the character of God he had seen some things of God and in that context I'm going to speak I've gotten up early today because I need a little more time than usual Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 first scripture says and the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone I will make him help meet for him verse 21 and the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man and Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and so cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh and they were both naked the man and his wife and were not ashamed and now we go to judges chapter 21 verses 20 and 21 therefore they commanded the children of Benjamin saying go and lie in wait in the vineyards in other words go hide in the bushes and see and behold if the daughters of Shiloh come out to dance and dances then come ye under the vineyards and catch you every man his wife of the daughters of Shiloh and go to the land of Benjamin and so we see something in Genesis it's so natural and so beautiful seeing God you know although he had created Adam exclusively for himself that was out of his own desire for fellowship and friendship he created Adam but God being a God of love look down upon Adam and he saw the perhaps look I don't know I would be conjecturing to say it but the scripture said it he saw that it wasn't good that Adam was alone I can stand solidly on that ground whether there was an emptiness in Adam there was a sense of unfulfillment God saw that it wasn't good and so he made from that which is closest to his heart he took out of him a rib and created a woman and brought him to Adam and so we see something that's just so God breeds so God ordained so so natural so normal so beautiful and of course then sin came into the human race and we fast forward into the book of Judges where one of the tribes of Israel because of a circumstance I'm not going to go into it they were they were sort of wives and instead of turning to God the way that it had happened with Adam they it became so unnatural imagine you take the scene in Genesis and then fast-forward at the judges where it's Shiloh it's it's a place that really does represent the presence of God and they're having a feast day and all that the daughters if some of the tribes are coming out and they're dancing I'm assuming there's a form of worship involved in this and Thanksgiving into God and here we have the remnants of Benjamin hiding in the bushes and every man then jumping out of the bushes and literally grabbing ahold of one of the girls and taking her home God told me you're going to be my wife well technically they were they were right in some measured because it was it was lawful but it was awful and so the question we have to ask ourselves today as a congregation is where do we fit between the two between Genesis and judges and how do we get back to wear something like relationships and marriage become less stressful and more natural it would seem to me that it should be a very natural thing to come into the house of God to serve God to love God and to find somebody with a similar heart especially in the house of God you shouldn't have to go outside of this church to find that person that's supposed to be your partner for life and as Paul says in the New Testament that person that's supposed to be in relationship with you and such measure that you become a type of Christ in his church on the earth it becomes a mystery to those who live outside the kingdom of God now firstly God saw the need in Adam now even though Adam was called uniquely for God God being a God of love saw the need in his heart and so take comfort today and knowing that God sees your need and he will fill that empty place in your life because He loves you he sees that need and there's some here today many as a matter of fact if not most that God looks down said it's not good that you should be alone the loneliness is producing something in you the unfulfilled nests in your heart now there are people I want to put your heart at rest today because I've heard this in this church there are many many people that think that maybe God has given you the gift of singleness now when you say it it sounds like the grim reaper has come to your door dressed in black rang your doorbell who is it it's the gift of singleness now if if you have it you don't want or need to get married if you have the gift of singleness it's not in your heart that's why it's a gift it's not even in your heart to get married you can either have the desire nor the need but if you want to get married you don't have the gift of singleness so put away the fear of thinking that maybe you do let's get rid of this thought about this gift of singleness now if God wants me to marry why is it so hard to find that special person for my life why does it seem like it's a needle in a haystack situation for me now I pondered this because I wanted to stand here as your pastor I wanted to stand here as a grandfather and as a father as a husband I wanted to stand as if you're in my living room and you and I are having a talk together and you're asking me these questions why is it so hard for me to find that special person I come into the house of God my heart is aching with loneliness and I I used to not want to get married because New York City is not really conducive to marriage you know that most young people who come here that you didn't come here saying I'm going to Manhattan and I'm I'm going to get I'm going to get married to got three kids in the car at a garage there are no garages by the way except parking ones and no you came here because there was something attractive about being single there was something attractive about the city most that wanted to get married got married out of high school or just in their early college years and they're living somewhere in Kentucky or some other place like that they're not in Manhattan and then you start to get older and in some cases the biological clock is ticking and you're getting afraid now that life is going to pass you by you've had your kick at the can as far as success in the fast lane and all the things that the city offers you come into the house of God you're looking on this platform and you see you see 7-6 pastors you see 7 elders and you're looking at the strong marriages and you're starting to see there's joy in this fulfillment and it's a desire now that's coming into your heart and for many it wasn't there before but it is there now God put it there because you're in the scriptures and you're beginning to see this is the pattern of God for the human race and there's it's not necessarily just a carnal thing in your heart there's something spiritual about it you know this is the will of God the pattern and the plan of God so if that's the case then why is it so hard to find that person I felt God gave me - I know they're probably several but I'm not going to focus on - number one your expectations are unrealistic most give you have watched too many movies and in the movies they present this this idyllic you know the people in slow motion running to each other across the bridge they embrace and he picks her up and flings you around and without even knowing where it came from out comes the ring and down on one knee and you you create this idyllic picture of this person that God is going to bring into your life I had a guy come to me one time with a list and he said this is the this is my prayer list for the wife that God's going to give me and he started reading this list of me so she's got to be drop-dead gorgeous just of long flowing hair has to be thin and fit she has to be talented she has to love God with all her heart she's and he's listing these things and I'm looking at him and I'm looking at the list and huh I didn't say it but I thought it in my heart I as I looked at his list and I looked at him I thought you you better add to that she likes guys that are unauthentic with pot bellies whose ears stick out nope no offense but it's not realistic and so here's this guy running around with his list in looking around coming into the house of God Benjamin in the bushes may I call it that looking around oh there she is seeing her dance you know and looking for his opportunity to spring out of the bushes and and say God told me that you're to be my wife unrealistic expectations now what about dating sites well when you're on a dating site you're still dealing with lists and you know as well as I do when we go shopping something on the list is usually forgotten I always come home and pastor Teresa will say where is the such-and-such and I'll say well I forgot to put it on the list and when you're dealing with that would get very quiet here because all you have a feeling there's a lot of you're still dealing with a shopping list you're still looking for it specific your idyllic mate might call it such here as they say your perfect match only God knows who that is it's not who you think it is and when you when you finally meet that person and you're gauging your whole relationship now if it works for you fine I'm not downplaying that some people have success well that's wonderful but you're still dealing with lists and there are things that are not on the list let me tell you when you get married what you see is what you get and what you don't see is what you get as well how come you never told me you had 12 kids I forgot to put it on the list or she says to him you took you wrote down I love to take long walks in the meadow early in the morning while the dew is still on the roses but what you didn't include on the list is you're so grouchy in the morning and you're your breath smells like a horse stall how come you didn't write that down I'll be careful anybody can pad their resume folks anybody can pad their resume by in trouble yet my getting some now what if you're not ready yet to marry is the second question you see getting married is not about age it's about character Ephesians chapter 5 let me just share with you some things from this husband's word of god says love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it and so my question to the men of this congregation the single men are you still selfish are you still focused on yourself what is the reason why you want to get married in the first place you see because husbands are supposed to be a type of Christ and our love for our wives is to be a giving love our decisions are not based on our own good or our own merit or our own will but it's on the betterment firstly of our wives and then secondly of the children that God will give us and so there's a there's a huge selfishness in the society this is a society that is focused on self and I've seen many marriages get into trouble and I've seen many destroyed and I will tell you every destroyed marriage always has selfishness at the core of it men your to sanctify and cleanse your house your wife yourself with the washing of water by the word that means you're to be the high priest in your home you're to be a seeker of God and the seeking of God is for the sake of your wife it's for the sake of your family it's for the sake of you see the one absence we have in this generation is strong father's you know that and I know that and a strong father begins with a strong husband and before there's a strong husband there's a strong believer in Christ men should love their wives as their own bodies and he that loves his wife loves himself and secondly for the women here today are you willing to respect your husband that's what the scripture says you're to give place to your husband you to respect him as the the high priest may I call it such of your home you to give him reverence even when he makes mistakes are you willing to do that is you have that character yet in your heart are you willing to respect your husband are you willing to acknowledge that when you get married that God places him in an order in the house where it is his responsibility to be given for you and your responsibility to honor the position that God puts him in in the house and then verse 21 says submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God are you spiritually mature enough to value each other's opinion and to work out your differences in a godly manner you see marriage is not a dictatorship marriage is a partnership submitting one to another in the fear of God many people don't understand you see you've not had positive role models many here today in your homes you grew up in homes where there was either an absentee parent or if the parents have actually were there they yelled and screamed and threw things at each other you've never ever seen in most cases the positive benefit of conflict because conflict does come in to marriage and it is part of it we don't always agree on everything but we have to be mature enough in Christ to value the other person's opinion to stop to listen to take time to to weigh it to consider it and to work out all of our differences in a godly manner you see here's the dilemma that I faced as a pastor I'm aware that there is a problem in this church and I believe that today we're going to start moving in a different direction but if I create a pathway to lead you to each other before I first lead you to God that I'm setting you up for failure and I believe that might be the reason for the high divorce rate in the house of God that equals arrivals the divorce rate in the world today because we've been more concerned in many cases in God's house about keeping people together for the sake of keeping numbers of the church than actually leading them to Christ and building that character of God that can only is the only thing that will keep you and I especially in this generation and that's why in this church I can promise you one thing we will never become a dating service here at Times Square Church never but for your sakes we will teach you and we will lead you to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you seek first the kingdom of God seek first seek first when you come to church seek first the kingdom of God seek first is righteousness that means the character of God the nature of got the character of Christ if it's in your heart to marry come to the house of God and say God make me a man of God make me a man who's worthy that when I go to that altar one day with my bride-to-be or for those women who are going to go to the altar in it with your husband-to-be make us people worthy of the vows that we are about to speak take the treachery out of our hearts take the lightness out of our hearts when we say for sickness and in health for richer for poorer for better or for worse so help me God until death do us part let us mean it when we go to that altar let it be deep within us then we're not doing this for convenience sake we're not coming to the altar we're not exchanging our vows and and saying these sweet words with our mouths but in our hearts if you fail to meet my needs I'm out of here if you start getting on my nerves I'm gone if you don't do things my way it's the highway and that's what's in many people's hearts because they are not mature in Christ they've never ever come to that point technically speaking of taking up their cross and following Christ and say I'm going to be laid down that woman that man I give my life for I'm going to be laid down for that person all of my days until I die and I'm not walking out when it gets tough I'm not walking away when conflict comes in I'm not going away when we don't know where the money is going to come from and we don't know how we're going to manage this teenage son or daughter I'm not opting out I'm never going to look at my wife or my husband say you don't meet my needs and I happen to believe that at the appropriate time when we seek first the kingdom of God just like in Genesis God then when you've dropped the unreal expectations and gotten out of the movies and videos and the magazine ever notice how messed up these are people who present these idyllic lifestyles you ever notice how messed up their lives really are yet they present to us this idyllic view of life and marriage and what really makes people happy and what gorgeous people really look like but yet inside they're full of uncleanness and dead men's bones I thank God with all my heart but the longer pastor Teresa and I are married the more I love her we can we can sit on the porch together in our rocking chairs believe it or not we can sit in it sit in our rocking chairs we can talk we can laugh we can you see she's my best friend and that is so important a lot of people get married you know you do more research on a used car than you do on the person you're about to marry don't know anything about the person you you take what it should be it should be very natural and you make it into this hyper spiritual thing you don't even know the person people coming out of guy come into my office one time in this church years ago and he said to me I want I'm thinking about getting married and I said - oh that's good and he said I think she might be the one the one I'd never heard that before the one okay and I said well do you love this girl he said no but he was prepared to marry her it come under some teachings somewhere that there's only one in the whole world like a needle in the haystack and what if she is the one and he got obsessed with this thought then I'm just going to walk away you ever thought that if you marry the one and the one dies you married the two then but what if the two is married to the three you have to move on to the four how does this really work that's just a sidebar no extra charge for any of that I said to him do you love her and he said no not really I said well she's not the one for you he said well how do you know that I said it's your marriage is supposed to be a type of Christ in the church God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son read the Song of Solomon where the Lord says to the bride when when you turned even before I fully saw your face when I just caught one of your eyes your you stole my heart there's a passion there's a romance in this there's a friendship there's there's there's were to be to this world a type of Christ in the church and he looked at me sort of thank God but he was prepared in this church to marry this girl because in his mind she might be the one well if she is the one you will love her if he is the one you will love there will be an attraction there will be a romance there there will be just like only what you see up I've only been married once but I met pastor Teresa when I was 19 she was 18 we weren't saved so I didn't have to pray about it so I wasn't but when she walked in the room don't ask me how I knew but I knew my life would never be the same again I knew it now it took her a while to come to her senses but I knew in my heart and then fast-forward a few years later things weren't going well for us and she was just going to get up and leave and it was at that moment that I I fell on my knees beside the couch where we were sitting and I said maybe I need God or something in my life now I'd never I was as shocked as anybody that I uttered those words and she said at that moment she heard a voice an audible voice say marry him God knows God knew that we would be seekers of him he knew that when he drew us we would respond he knew that when the Lord leads the right person into your life you will know it and he will do it and so here's the big question if I believe that at the appropriate time God will allow me to meet somebody that he has for me then how does that happen in Times Square Church well instead of coming to church spiritually hyper looking to seize upon someone to take home for life like Benjamin how about just being comfortable having friends of both sexes how about just relaxing just take a deep breath oh thank god this doesn't have to be a hyper spiritual thing that causes tension this can be just as natural as walking with God it can be as natural as breathing I don't have to sweat this thing I'm just going to I'm just going to feel free to be normal and that amazing instead of God told me that you're to be my wife that's Benjamin jumping out of the bushes and it happens here in this church not happens in both sides it's not just the guys some of the girls are in the bushes in this church as well may I suggest to you young people just get rid of the hyper spiritual talk and just be normal try this hi my name is John I've seen you here before have you attended this church for long it's nice talking to you hope to see you around sometime how about trying just to be normal I think it's an awesome idea desperate marriage needy people are scary just relax just relax guys get rid of the goofy one-liners and be normal you don't talk like that at work you don't talk like that in your neighborhood don't do it here just be normal nor mall hi and for all the girls here get rid of the velcro gloves when any guy gets close to you your slaps on and they can't get away everybody needs to relax in this congregation I don't know how we got spiritually hyper but we need to stop at times for church and just learn to say hi how are you doing haven't seen you around before then get involved in the church get involved in the life of the church don't stay in the bushes notice today 18 people went out 16 beautiful girls and two guys went out on a short-term missions trips if those guys are not married they're the smartest two guys in all the times for church and so for the guys that are here instead of hiding in the bushes with Benjamin looking to pounce on somebody why don't you get involved in the church go to short-term missions get involved in Raven ministry there's there's all kinds of things you can do there's 61 ministries in this church to the disadvantage the poor when you get involved where do you think you're going to find somebody of a similar heart to yours now if your hearts in the bushes you're going to find somebody else in the bushes and God bless both of you I hope it works out for you but if you want to find somebody with a heart for God get involved in the church get involved in the work of God don't sit on the sidelines and prowl around the lobby hoping to strike it rich some Sunday or Tuesday get involved in the life of the church go out on missions trips get involved in ministry find out where you can serve in the house of the Lord get into this youth choir look at all empty seats in the back here look at that now I don't want you joining the choir just because of some of the nicest looking girls in the church or in the choir don't but get involved in the church if you see someone that you begin to like in a different way than the rest that's going to happen you're just going to be you're going to be going through your day you're going to be involved in the life of the church you're going to learn just to walk around and just be who you are you don't have to put on some kind of a spiritual heir you don't have to make something very natural very unnatural you get to the place where you trust that God you're going to show me so I'm just going to I'm just going to seek you first and your righteousness I'm going to seek your character to be born into my life I'm going to trust O God that you're going to guide me and then there will come a time that somebody just you crawl and it's it's you're there in the context of ministry the context of growing in grace the context of of friendship and and suddenly you just realize that you're attracted to somebody and if you see that then here's my suggestion to you go out for a walk go for a coffee go for dinner and take time to get to know each other take time talk together find out what your similar interests are just get to know it's not unspiritual to get to know somebody who might be your life partner the questions you have to ask yourself is do I like this person I've seen people who get married who are in love but they don't like each other and you can be sure the love is not going to last and the not like is going to come to the surface eventually they they love each other they the person meets their physical qualifications of the perfect you know the prince or princess whatever it is they're looking for but they don't really like the character of the person and then sad to say in many cases they don't even know the character they haven't taken time they've rushed into it they've just they've just looked at this the padded resume and they don't even know who this person you're talking about you're talking about somebody that you're going to make a commitment to that next year commitment to cry for salvation is the deepest commitment you will ever make on this side of eternity you're going to an altar and you're saying for sickness and in health for richer for poorer for better or for worse till death do us part this is the person that you are going to raise children together with this the person you're going to plan with this is a person you're going to you're going to go into ministry what you're going to travel with you're going to do everything for the rest of your life if you're going to grow old together this is the person you're going to be with when when all the natural strength is gone and you get into old age this is going to be your life partner and so it's not unspiritual to get to know that person it's not unspiritual to say god I think this person might be the person is going to be my husband or my wife and some people think it's unspiritual to go for dinner well it isn't it's that simple it's not unspiritual I think it's foolish to just approach somebody I say I think God told me here to be my wife while God told me here to be my husband and go let's go the justice of the peace on Tuesday I've seen those here folks I've watched them go sky-high a month later in this church I've told people don't get married I've had them in my office they don't marry this person straight out and I've seen them defy that authority go get married in the whole thing goes sky high like a fireworks display only a month or two down the road because we knew that first of all they didn't know each other didn't know enough about each other and secondly when people who are in spiritual authority and parents as well it can have an inner sense that this is not good there's something not right here even though you're totally enamored with the person so go for a walk go for a coffee go for dinner and take time to get to know each other now if you know it's if you know it's not going to go anywhere permanent now here's a here's something to take good heat do then let the other person know soon and gently and stay friends you go out you go out to Starbucks and have a coffee with somebody and enough now please when you sit down at the table now I'm speaking from real-life examples that I've heard of in this church guys don't just look at her right away and say I love you that's like going be like relax maybe you do but play your cards close you know just hold onto that hand for a little while talk get to know the person don't there's no rush you think there's a rush but there is no rush get to know that person in a few if you know it's not going anywhere permanent then let the other person know and do it soon because the bible does speak of defrauding another person the context of that is you're leading somebody to believe that there's a possibility of something that doesn't exist don't do that it isn't right it's it's not fair to the other person if you know just be gentle about it I mean there was a situation recently I heard about where somebody just just very arrogantly and wrongly told another person was attracted to them I can't even repeat the words that were so unkind and that's just not the way to do things you don't just look at somebody telling to get lost I don't even like you you know and that happens I mean that displays such a lack of christ-like character it stuns me be gentle about it and stay friends if it doesn't work out and and maybe the guy or girl did tell you that they have feelings for you but you don't share those feelings it's not going to work out then don't go spreading rumors about them throughout the church don't vilify and don't don't cut them off stay friend be mature enough to stay friends you thought maybe this person might be somebody God was bringing into your life you went for a coffee you realize now there's it's just not there it's that's just the way it is there's that that spark is not there there's no witness of God in the heart there's there's this is never going to turn into a love relationship and we have just nothing in common here and it's so important to be kind to other people you know people are frail in this society it's amazing I don't get it sometimes you know people before you got saved you went into clubs and you know you yes some girl that your guy and they turned you down you just went to the next one you come into the church just like everybody is like humpty-dumpty to get turned down they fall off the wall and nobody can put them back together again you know not everybody you approach is going to share your opinion of this so don't beat its tone by that thank God you were saved from a loveless relationship thank God not everything you think is God is so if you're walking with the Lord he'll protect you you keep you you won't let you go into something that you shouldn't be in and if you sense it is progressing to a deeper relationship I have only three rules for those that were looking for rules today here they are number one keep it clean number two keep it public there is no shame in going to dinner with somebody else if you think this might be a lasting relationship for you there is no wrong in it there is no shame in it you do not have to hide it keep it clean keep it in the open and the third rule is the date ends at the door lasting marriages are built on friendship and Trust if you violate these things either one if you violate friendship or you violate trust you sow seeds a difficulty and distrust in your own marriage and it's very very hard very hard so if you've taken advantage of her when you stand at an altar and you profess with all your heart I will love you I will protect you I will cherish you it's very hard for her to believe that because you have used her to satisfy your own desires no you see that's why you have to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and then believe that all these things shall be added unto you marriage is honorable marriage is desirable marriage is God's idea from the very creation of the human race marriage is God's designed for the strength of a nation as God is designed for the strength of a family is God's designed for the strength of the church it is the will of God it is not something that should be an aberration it is the design of God marriage is next to your relationship with Christ the most deep fulfillment of your heart that you will ever know on this side of eternity especially when you get older it means different things at different stages in life but when you get older and and that familiar hand is there not familiar voice and that familiar touch and those familiar words and you've learned to walk together and you've comforted each other and you strengthened each other and then Christmastime comes around and Thanksgiving and other special feasts in our society and the children start coming home and the grandchildren start coming home and you begin to realize Oh God next to salvation and eternity this is what life is all about this is the way you intended it to be this was your design for the human race no wonder hell will fight so hard against it and try to make it something that it's not supposed to be try to take something beautiful and make it a hassle try to take something that should be as natural as breathing the air in this room and make it into such a spiritual burden and bondage that people are beginning to even shun the eye over time Oh No it has been an incredible life for me personally to be married to my best friend and the love of my life it has been an awesome journey there was a season when we were young very young that it was difficult we went through some difficult waters together but I can't I can't see my life without pastor Teresa now I just can't I hope I I know it's selfish of me but I was tell her hope I died about an hour before she does it has been the most beautiful thing of my life it's been wonderful to watch her grow in grace it's been wonderful to see her become everything that God has designed her to be it's been wonderful to watch her seek God to hear her pray and sing in the morning yesterday we drove back together from Rochester and she was like a little chirpy bird and decides in my truck talking all the way home sharing so many things it was awesome I love it with all my heart it's what marriage is supposed to be and I believe that's what you want many young people here but may I encourage you with everything in me seek first the kingdom of God because without the character of Christ in you your marriage would be a disaster you'll be just another statistic in the Christian search of another broken home and more heartbroken children that's all you will become and that's all you will be but take my advice for what it's worth and seek first the kingdom of God with all your heart learn to pray learn to read read the promises of God and just see the things in this book that God promises that he will make us into if you're selfish and say god I am self just be quick to admit it and say Lord but I want to be an unselfish person I want to be the person that you've destined my life to be and oh God I don't want somebody as a man for example under my wing to control but I want somebody to love and to nurture and to wash with the water of the word and to see grow into everything that seems to be in Christ and for the women here you should be able to say I want my husband I want in my heart to respect him I want to honor his leadership I want to be a partner with him I want my judgment to be good I want my words to be weighty and when God gives us children I want to be a mother that has a sovereign input into the lives of our children our grandchildren and everywhere that God would take us it is an honorable thing to be married and we're going to pray today and believe God that whatever strangeness got in the water of this church is going to be broken today whatever doors need to be opened will be open whatever doors need to be closed will be closed have friends and don't be afraid to have friends of both sexes and don't just don't spend your whole day running around as this my wife is this my husband's this my wife is this my husband relax pastor Patrick told me last week that he and Rosa were best friends long before they fell in love he said we used to go in ministry together we used to go on the subway together we used to preach together and he said I I never even knew we weren't really initially even attracted to each other in that way and then just one day it just happened we were best friends he said long before we were lovers and he said and now we're still best friends and to me that was one of the most important things that you will ever find in a relationship so if you're just running around always just looking is this the one is this the one is this the one now just be content to have friends of both sexes be content to God have fun after church be content even you're more than welcome to stay here on Tuesday night after service and talk to people but you know we're I don't know maybe over the years we were just too quick to say bring it to the altar pray and then blast you out with music and nobody got a chance to meet anybody that's why I'm asking the band inquire not to sing anymore we bring the curtain down just give you a chance to talk to people get to know each other this this is family we are the body of Christ now some of you are going to be more than family you're going to be kind of family family in the family you know what I'm talking about pastor trees where you come and join me please Jewish or something do we have a microphone over there somewhere praise God that's really good advice I know at the school many times talking with young people there is a real fear of commitment there's a fear of rejection there's a fear you know there's never been good role models you may feel there's a pass that you're dragging behind that just makes healthy relationships impossible and that's why I so loved the way that you said let the Lord do something so do his work first and don't be content just to it's like like spirits attract and if God has only done half a work in your heart a lot of times you will be attracted or others attracted to you that God's only done half of work and we're not saying that people must be perfect but you could believe him for breakthroughs for fears for woundings for places you've been deeply hurt let this place let the altar of the Lord come to your heart before you go to the altar with somebody else and that fear of commitment and fear of rejections so much when we get our identity in Christ we become whole we become natural and more free and people are attracted to freedom in each other so I'm not saying that people need to be perfect don't be just that Lord you know I just would love Lord just for you to take a spiritual inventory maybe some want to pray that today I want to do a spiritual inventory and where where I'm not free or where I really battle or where I have such a poor self-image or where I'm just so afraid of commitment or rejection or just that I'm going to do this wrong that Lord adjust I thank you I'm going to come to you with all my heart and I thank you you love me so much and you died to do it a wonderful work in me and there's something of a beauty comes into a spirit that seeks the Lord and the who God has planned for you there you will see these attractions will come because you are seeking God in the freedom he brings and he does it so quickly he does it in an amazing way so come to his altar and I many many of you will end up at another altar and a lot of times that's how it works so it was with such good advice first would you stand please father in Jesus name God Almighty you are the one who meets the desire of the human heart you're the one who told us that if we would delight ourselves in you that you would give us the desires of our heart Lord we see it in Adam you loved him and he was created exclusively for you but you saw a need in him and you were willing to share him it tells us something about you Lord that makes us want you even more it makes us want to love you more to know you more father I ask you in Jesus name that this day Lord did you open whatever doors need to be open in this church and close the doors that need to be closed I ask you Lord God for love and laughter to abound in this church asking for friendships to be born by the hundreds ask your Lord Jesus Christ to give us each the confidence that in the due course of time you will lead us to that person that is to be the one for each of us in this room every single person in this room Lord you will lead them and God we have to believe that because your Word says that if we would seek you first and your righteousness all these things shall be added and so we believe that we see it in the scriptures so deliver us God from being preoccupied with these things and give us a heart and a mind to seek you knowing that very naturally as natural is simply walking one day into the garden as natural is walking one day into the church someone will just be there and there will be a turning in our heart towards that person God I believe that with all my heart you know every need and you are more than willing to meet these needs it's the Lord to help us as a congregation to be relaxed help us Lord to put away all of the aberrations that humankind will bring into what was your design in the first place deliver us God from being Benjamites and bring us back into the garden just to walk with you again knowing Lord knowing that you will be faithful we know it Lord oh Jesus I thank you for it God with all my heart I praise you and I bless you I ask you to make this church a wholesome Church a wholesome place a holy place where we can commend these doors and know that we're going to meet with God and as we do he's going to meet our need father I thank you lord I thank you that in the days to come in Times Square church should you tarry that will be known as a church of strong families strong marriages children that will be born into this church they'll be dedicated on this platform that will run through the halls singing the songs of Zion in this house God we believe this we ask you for it in Jesus name deliver us from the fear of rejection deliver it each person here God from the fear of growing old alone and all these fears that want to plague the heart knowing Lord that you will bless us and so as the pastor of this church I pronounce a blessing upon this church of life God when we walk together in unity with you and one another your word says that you come in life and so God we receive that and we commend that in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ the life be born life in this church marriage has happened in this chair children be born in this church God you plant this church so deep make it a house of such joy and such worship and such miracles or that all we can only points only God could have done this change us or change our character God refine us Lord when you see in us things it will destroy any relationships we have God refine us and father we thank you for this God we praise you we bless you for it in Jesus name if you would pray please Lord we just thank you for this word where you have put before us marriage as a desirable thing I thank you for breaking up the foundations of fear towards marriage and lord I pray you place in the hearts now of people Oh God just this desire for marriage your way I thank you Lord that it is a good thing it is an honorable thing it is a wonderful thing I thank you Lord you are moving against every lie of the enemy every stronghold of fear every place Lord where there has been something of a lie in something of the enemy to bind us and I thank you O God that we will Oh God be a people that will esteem marriage every part of marriage and we will be people committed to marriage and Lord you will give us a strength Lord whent - when we say I do to stay married Lord through the fire and through the flood you will put this grace upon us to be a people who will be committed and we will find joy and we will find some fulfillment and I thank you Lord there are people here today that are by your grace and by your word and by your light are being released Lord to believe again and hope again who are going to seek you and say Lord I pray lord I want to be married and it is a good thing and I thank you Lord that they will have that courage Lord to keep their eyes on you and you will do Lord what you do Lord you're taking away the fear you're taking away everything that blocks what is good and holy and acceptable and your perfect will so we rejoice in your goodness we thank you for our pastor Lord we thank you for this word we thank you Lord he has heard your heart concerning this and you are breaking up the depths Lord of unreasonable and unnatural thinking and you are putting a blessing today we are hearing your word it is making us glad so we thank you for him and we thank you for this word to God be the glory it may there be many in this house that would be released Lord to be married for the glory of God and strength strong families for your name hallelujah hallelujah praise God Thank You Lord thank you

Channel: Times Square Church

Views: 69,847

Rating: 4.8908191 out of 5

Keywords: Carter Conlon, Sermon, Times Square Church

Id: yapmrZLtgmw

Length: 59min 3sec (3543 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 08 2014