Fr. Mike Schmitz Presentation- Good news cruise 2024

man how blessed are we wow man oh man I thought about the first night uh sitting right there and Sarah Kroger came and lit it up like a Christmas tree didn't she and yeah job and uh and by the way if you would like to buy any of Sarah's CDs you can uh approach her and uh give her 800 $ cash she prefers nonsequential uh you know no but all kiding aside just check with her or if you want you can go to her website Sarah with an H uh kroger. letters I just forgot isn't that funny a little paper up here Sarah kroger.com uh Sarah kroger.com and uh make sure and check out her music uh and I don't know if you remember but then we went after that into Bishop now in and it just started everything so well for us huh and now here we are last night and we're going to hear some beautiful um Spiritual music I guess is the best way to put it and then uh after father Mike we're just going to seamlessly move right into Mass okay so we'll ask uh you to stay while we just do a couple uh preparations and then pray uh the sacred Mass together okay uh this man obviously doesn't need much of an introduction uh uh we all here have been touched by how God speaks through him by his Generous Heart uh father Mike schmidtz is a priest of Deluth Minnesota let's give him a really warm up thank you guys um that clarifi um can I take this microphone and move around or just okay we'll see if we do that I'm not sure I'm unwilling to commit um I actually I think about okay a couple things yes oh yeah yeah um yeah no I um a couple things one is I was I got to be on a couple different podcasts today um one of them was father Joe's and it was one of those who were talking behind the like just kind of like talking to like normal people and they you talk talk talk and they were like okay you're live and five and he was like I'm Joe hey everybody how's it going I was like oh my gosh 5 m hour to 75 M hour he was like oh no I don't know what to do I don't know I'm I'm so grateful you guys been incredible it has been such a a great well two days for me um I uh but I okay so I was standing back there when father Joe was introducing and what not giving some announcements and I just and he said that we're all going right from this right in Mass which is fantastic the last mass of the official mass of the cruise and um um one of the things I was just marveled at is is this SE this section of people right here right because it's not here not there but like right here I'm going to do this we're going to move because um the degree to which you have to commit to sit right here like you no Escape there's no way out for you you're just locked in for the next 2 hours and I couldn't do that I would be like I have the smallest blatter in the world so I'm like know it's aisle all the way it only 30 minutes it doesn't matter it's I had a teaspoon of water earlier so I have to so okay so we're going to get started um we should probably probably say prayer I don't know where you guys are coming from because I don't know if you have been all day on the island how many people want see the island today oh my gosh awesome okay how many people went down the water slide two I see literally two hands right here um did you do one of drops away and you just go oh you didn't do that one me and Leo did it last time whatever kind of hard um I did not step a foot outside today because that's what you want to do on a cruise I went to a room with no windows to do some interviews it was great you guys don't no Don't Cry For Me Argentina it's completely fine it's what I would have preferred wow that was negative I don't mean that um also I can't keep up with between Dr Ray and father Joe you can't try to keep up you just have to say no just settle into the role of the not funny priest that's it because because they're just they're always like something they find something funny and everything and I try to find something funny and it's inappropriate I'm like no that doesn't work so we're not so my commitment to everyone here is that for the next 45 minutes or how long it takes um there's no humor there's no not even an attempt at being funny if you laugh that was an accident we're just going to we're just going to talk deep stuff you know cuz you guys have we've been we've started you know and days and days ago so by this point this is this is we've got to be as deep as possible and so there's no joking around and there's no messing around CU this is serious amen amen or or not in the name of the father son and the holy spirit amen Father in heaven we give you praise and glory thank you so much for bringing us here to this place thank you for being with us on this journey not Lord not only the Journey of this this cruise but also the Journey of our vocation the Journey of Our Lives in You Lord God thank you for giving us your Holy Spirit so that we can be Sons and Daughters of you who can call you God our father thank you for giving us your son Jesus Christ who has made it possible for us to have access to you father thank you for giving us your holy spirit so that we can truly cry out ABA father thank you for giving us a relationship calling us into relationship with you in spite of our weaknesses in the midst of our wounds in the midst of our sins you still want us to be yours so In This Moment Lord God we repent say we're sorry sorry for all of our sins for all the ways in which we have given into weakness and into habit ways we've given into selfishness impatience Lord God all the ways we failed to love you and love the people near us we are sorry please forgive us in the name of your son Jesus Christ we ask you to send us your Grace Grace of Joy Grace of your Holy Spirit of power and of Love of self-control of self-sacrifice the Grace to be able to risk everything for you in the midst of our weakness in jesus' name we pray amen amen father son holy spirit amen okay so this is going to be this I know that the theme of of this whole is like Journey so marriage is a journey life is a journey uh um um God's call for your life is a journey that is true but one of the things I wanted to do is before we left the cruise is kind of present what I would call like a Theology of marriage or let me say it like this a what's a Catholic worldview when it comes to marriage so this might be something that you're like oh I already to totally know all this that is maybe the case but it also might be the case that you haven't heard it on February 1st 2024 so this is the first time you get to hear it today in that sense of like because we're all in different places right this might be the kind of thing that you got you heard or were told during marriage prep and um and you're like oh yeah that's right that was before I knew anything or maybe that was like oh yeah no no I took a class on this in in college class andless that our Parish but it might be one of those situations where right now to have a Catholic worldview like what is how how is it that Catholics look at marriage could be something that do you know reframes some things and gives us kind of a direction for that Journey so what we're trying to do is what I want to try to do is I going to try to look look at the Catholic world for marriage in three buckets so the first bucket is the bucket of marriage as a covenant you guys heard about that right um second is might be like Father this is the same thing Dr dran said but didn't say it is you're not saying it as good secondly U marriage as a Sacrament and thirdly marriage as a vocation so that that Journey that call so the first one marriage as a covenant marriage as Sacrament marriage as vocation so one of the things that people I will typically hear um people say something like this maybe you've heard people say this that um young people we all know this young people aren't getting married uh they're marri getting married at the the lowest rate in human history uh and and having kids at the lowest rate in human history Le recorded history that we that we know of and sometimes the reason is and I I hear this a lot is someone says something like well I don't need a piece of paper to prove that I love this person I go have you ever heard anything like that like we don't need a piece of paper to prove this you know and I'd say yeah you're right you don't need a piece of paper to prove that you love them um that would be that'd be good that'd be a contract but that's not what the church is asking us to do and so you might have heard this difference between a contract and a covenant so let just kind of review this for those of you who haven't heard so contract is great contracts are really helpful right a contract is an agreement for an exchange of goods or services based off of a condition so say that one more time because it's a long definition right a contract is an agreement for an exchange of goods or services based off a condition and so um bunch of years ago we had the middle of a polar vortex there's this there's this wall in in the house I live in the uh the new house uh that was just all windows and the windows were super old and so it was the drafty is so cold and so what we did is we had a contract with a guy who installs windows so he took out the old window so if so it was put a down payment down he fixed the windows then we paid the rest of the bill now because this is a contract right an agreement for an exchange of goods and services based off the condition if I didn't pay the down payment he doesn't have to do his work and if he didn't do the work we don't have to pay pay him the money so the the great thing and the I don't know the helpful thing about a contract is if you don't do what you said you were going to do I don't have to do what I said I was going to do you can you can actually void the contract by simply not not doing what you said you were going to do and IO the contract by simply not doing what I said I was going to do why because it's an agreement for an exchange of goods and services based off of the condition if you do what you said I'll do what I said amen amen the problem is when we bring that same mentality into marriage and not just the the shallow way because we sometimes maybe not you but I'll those people out there the rest of the boat um just um some people we sometimes bring this like the shallow way of saying that is like okay fine I will I'll still be nice to you as long as you stay cute you know okay that everyone knows that that's shallow I wouldn't say that out loud um but sometimes sometimes it's it's it's more serious like no no no of course I wouldn't do that but how about this um I will be kind to you if you're kind to me or I'll be patient with you as long as you're patient with me or I'll be faithful to you as long as you're faithful to me but if you're not kind I don't have to be kind if you're not patient I have to if you're not faithful I don't have to be faithful see see sometimes it's the the really shallow version of this is is like oh yeah no one would say this but the deeper like the more painful versions of this we can find ourselves kind of agreeing with this yeah your unfaithfulness means I'm out that's a contract what does the Lord give us what does the Lord invite us into he invites us the Covenant right so if you go start from the very beginning of the Bible God never enters a contract with his people never says like I'll do this for you if you did this for me there are sometimes that God promises X Y and Z but the Covenant language is always not in agreement for an exchange of goods or services based off the condition but Covenant language is an exchange of persons or what's God say God says I'll be your God you be my people just like I'm yours and your mine that's it it's an exchange of persons and you realize this it's an change a persons and there's no condition it's just I'm Yours period you're mine period so we realize there's no breaking a covenant because there was no condition there's no way to break it because there was never a condition placed upon it is it just simply again once again I'm yours and you're mine which is as we all know very it's one of the reasons why you know you love is spelled in so many ways r i k because because we realize this that that realize at some point if someone the person I'm married to could decide I'm done there's nothing you could do to change your mind some of you might have experienced that some of you might have experienced it firsthand some of you might have experienced it through other friendships other relationships through your parents through your kids I there's a there's a man on campus um he would come to our new center as as an adult man at point he and his wife were married for 20 whatever years and one day she just like I'm done and he's like I'll do anything I he said I'll I'll go to counsel go therapy I'll do anything she's said no I'm done and she left and so what he will do he spend he'll spend the rest he's a married man he'll spend the rest of his life living as a single man because his wife has left and lives her own life but he's been covenanted to her therefore he doesn't date he's not looking for another partner doesn't looking for another spouse because he's a married man who lives alone does that make sense and of course that that you all you might all know this but this is the risk like this is and and it's nothing new that's the crazy thing is marriage as a risk is nothing new marriage as a covenant is nothing new like one of my favorite stories um in the Old Testament is from The Book of Tobit you guys know the story The Book of tobet so in the book of tobet there's a number of things happening but one of the stories that happens is there's this man named Tobias and his wife Sarah well not she's not his wife yet in fact Sarah is Sarah would be first me debias has been married seven times so if you guys are familiar with this story so so Sarah's married to imagine I always think of this she was married to seven different men before she met Tobias and I always want to pause and just think like what was that first wedding like and you maybe think of your W wedding just all the excitement yeah y here's the here's the the whole families are coming together willing to ready to celebrate ready to enter into this big giant Covenant and then on her wedding night this demon as modius kills her husband and her heartbreak in the aftermath time goes by here's another man who's willing to marry her okay I'll get excited but not as excited go into the that ceremony here we are celebrating but we have this Dark Cloud hanging over this that night the demon asmodus kills our second husband the amazing thing about the whole story is not only that God intervenes and God's part of the story the amazing thing is that Sarah keeps trying remember that imagine that third husband okay here we go fourth can you imagine fifth wedding takes place on a Monday morning like you know kind that's like I don't know just all seven get killed and then Here Comes Tobias and this is the remarkable thing just amazing how many of our students choose this reading from the book of toic for their wedding maybe I don't know if you chose that for your wedding because there's this moment where here is well there's the angel Archangel Raphael who is fighting on behalf of this couple but here is also Tobias who is willing to risk his whole life to live the rest of his life as Sarah's husband and he's and he he's risking everything so much so fully that actually scripture says that Sarah's dad as they're getting married is outside the house digging tobias's grave he's like I know what happened when my daughter Mary someone you know it's not their fault Black Widow this whole kind of situation but what do they do D says arise my sister my love and let us present ourselves before our Father in heaven and they pray and they ask for God's blessings Raphael defeats um as modius there's whole whole thing there but this is the core the core is if you're going to love you have to be willing to risk and not just risk the immediate moment risk everything again someone could leave and okay for the rest of my life I'll be married to you alone this is like the risk that's so serious here's my invitation if if you're sitting next to your spouse if you're by yourself right now you can just look at your hands I apologize I don't mean like to but if you're sitting next to your spouse I'm not going to look if you could just turn to your spouse wherever you're sitting seated look at them in the eyes you know I'm not going to look so just know that you're you're just just there but look in your SP cross his eyes and realize this realize the person the person that's looking into your eyes right now loved you enough that they were willing to risk the rest of their life for the chance to be yours that this person looking at you right now they trusted you enough that they were willing to risk the rest of their life for the chance to be your spouse that this person looking at you right now they trusted you enough and they loved you enough that they were willing to risk everything for the chance to marry you and here you are now because you were willing to risk and they were willing to risk because they trusted you in fact in fact if you can look back at me and I was got lost in each other's eyes leave back in Mass I guess you know it's one of those things where like because because yes there there is there is heaviness there there's there's a weight to actually be called into covenants this is dangerous right it's a risk but at the same time would you want anything else so GK chesteron he used to say this you know chesteron right he was a convert Catholicism for atheism back like a 100 years ago at one point he said people get so mad at the Catholic church because the Catholic Church demands that couples promise forever to each other when they get married he said but that's what love does love Pro love wants to promise forever right and so when I talk to my couples I'm always like you know as an example like if I was here and I said okay you guys and you don't have your vows we have three different kinds of vows we have um The threeyear Vows we have the seven-year vows we have the forever vows now don't make any big decisions right now but take these three different vows and pray about them talk about them like you let me know which ones you want like if that was the case how many couples will come back and the guys like or whoever it is he says like I like those seven-year vs like are you crazy because I'm not I'm not going to give you my 20s right it's it's either forever or we're done that's actually in so many ways how relationships go right it's either we're in this forever or we're leaving each other right now and that's why I think one of the reasons why St John Paul II he said this he said unless a person decides to love forever they will find it difficult to truly love for even one dayless a person decides to love forever they will find it difficult to truly love for even one day why because love is spelled r I love it has to be this sense of like at some point not every meant love but at some point love has to say I'm yours and you're mine in such a way that there is no condition it can't be broken if I completely make a mess of of my side of the agreement you're still you're saying you're still there it's one of the reasons I I said this before about I'll say again um that's one of the reasons why I think it's really fascinating that couples say forever the promise forever on their wedding day it's like why is that weird they that's what you do yeah but have you ever thought about how that's weird that couples on their wedding day promise to love each other for the rest of their lives like because it's like well of course you're going to love each other on your wedding day like that's of all days of your life of course you're going to love that person on your wedding day but here's the thing here's what you did you promis a love forever on that day because you know yeah of course I love you today but I also know this I know the day is going to come when I won't feel like loving you and I'm going to promise you today that when that day comes I will love you you're saying I know the day is going to come when I won't want to choose you but I'm here right now making this vow making this promise making this Covenant because I'm telling you that when that day comes you don't have to be afraid I'm going to choose you and you're also hearing them say there's going to be a day when I don't want to love you and I'm going to choose you that's in so many ways what it is to enter into Covenant does that make sense yes so here's that first bucket the Catholic worldview is this is the sense of like here is an exchange of persons with no condition and how imagine how incredible is that like that that reality that God trusts all of us enough to be able to say actually I'm going to allow you to promise unconditional love because that that's what you promise on your wedding day you promised unconditional love how crazy is this to look back now how many years it's been and to be like I had no idea what I was promising to I had no idea what I was saying yes to I was saying yes to the unknown Journey but you knew this you knew this you knew that it would be a journey what you're saying is wherever this journey leads us I want to go with you imagine if you knew then that day what you know now no matter where this journey leads us I want to go with you that's marriage's Covenant second second one is uh is marriage as a Sacrament so marriage is a Sacrament one of the things I typically actually here's at Pop Quiz can anyone just raise your hand maybe someone closer or maybe louder um def fine what is the saes anyone know I mean not put on the spot here but yeah outward sign in instituted by God to give Grace an outward sign instituted by God to give Grace that's good wonderful answer Round of Applause that was really wonderful CH so one of the reasons why we can't all like think of it right away I think is because we heard the second grade definition when we're in second grade and then we got like eighth grade got another definition was a little more complicated and then later on gave you another definition and so it's kind of like I don't remember which it's kind of like when they changed the Creed or change the the Gloria you know on mass I'm like yeah I don't I just I don't know it all mixes up now because I remember two versions anyways for the back to our story a Sacrament sacred signs but a Christ who GES gra I'm going to give you another definition because why not mix the water um Sacrament is a sacred sign that causes what it signifies so Sacrament is a sacred sign that causes what it signifies so he going like what are you saying okay how about this picture a stop sign that's a sign but it doesn't cause what it signifies right so it's a sign that means when you come to this corner stop but it doesn't make you stop right doesn't I I'm proof I just roll right through sometimes it has the white boundary you know you don't even have to stop it's optional um but but can you imagine a stop sign that was a sign that caused you caus what to signify then you try to roll up to the corner try to roll through the stop sign and it stops you that would be like what a Sacrament is a s sacred sign that causes what it signifies so as an example baptism it's a sign of washing it actually does wash away wash away sin it's a sign baptism also is a sign of birth actually does make us into God's Sons and Daughters um confession reconciliation is a sign of God's mercy sign of his forgiveness actually does forgive us he does give us his Mercy um the sign of signs in a few moments the sign of signs is the Eucharist right it's a sign of Christ body blood soul theity actually is it causes his body blood to be present make sense so what's the sign that CA what it signifies a marriage well to become one so what happens this is remarkable it's just incredible is that that sacred sign that causes what it signifies is when that husband and that one that that man and that woman come before each other coming before the church coming before their Witnesses I don't know if couples realize the power that Christ extends to them in that moment here's what I mean um he by the power of the Holy Spirit he puts words in their mouths that change reality so go back to um Genesis chapter 1 here's God who speaks and the world is created right God says light boom there light right through efficacious words right God says Let There be like I don't know worms there's worms like God says Let There Be everything there boom he speaks and it happens in in the New Testament Jesus walks around there someone who blind he says have sight boom they have sight or they're paralyzed he says be healed or they're for in sin he says be forgiven his words have power when the priest stands at the altar says this is my body the Holy Spirit working through his words actually changes reality amazing Miracle when you came before the Lord as a baptized man a baptized woman and you spoke I jack take you Jill to be my wife I Jill take you jack to be my husband the Holy Spirit working through your words changed reality that's one of the reasons why and two people say like hey father uh you married my little sister like I promise I did not I've never like you know what I mean like I do but be precise with our language I was the priest at your sister's wedding that's what happened your brother-in-law married your sister because you know this probably that the man the husband is the Minister of the sacrament to his bride he's the minister and the woman is the Minister of the sacrament to her husband she's the minister so it's the Holy Spirit working through your words at the altar and this is crazy at the altar where husband and wife are are standing I take you and I take you the sacrament is ratified when I mean of that is It's Made Real so in those moments by the Holy Spirit the power of the words here they are at the altar that Sacrament is is real this as real as it well will ever be It's Made Real by the power of the Holy Spirit working through your words your choice your will and your words but we know this we also know that the sacrament isn't complete until what until the sexual embrace well because with our wor your words the power of the Holy Spirit reality changed and you are one flesh right remember a sacred sign the cause and what it signifies at the altar that is ratified that's real but then it's not completed until the sexual embrace when what happens when husband and wife to become one flesh and this is actually this you probably know this maybe I'll stop saying that the last time I'll say that you might not know this but an intrinsic essential part of the sacrament is the sexual EMB rce that the sacrament isn't complete until the sexual embrace now I don't know about you but a religion said in 10th Grade we had to learn the sacraments and I was bored out of my mind if they would have told me well one of those sacraments an essential and trans part of the sacrament is the sexual embrace you they would have had my attention I'm trying to say and so to realize this to realize that the essential part now how crazy is this no I'm okay second definition of Sacrament secr sign causes what it signifies here's another definition that was the best definition so far all minine are subpar the next one is a sacred sign instituted by Christ that gives Grace So a sacred sign instituted by Christ that does what gives Grace gives Grace what's Grace well Grace is the very life of God grace is the very life of God right it's God's strength it's his wisdom power it's his very life so a Sacrament is a sacred sign in by Christ that gives God's life that makes us holy so we go to confession we get God's Grace We're made holy we read the Bible God's Gra made holy we go to mass we receive God's Grace We're made holy husbands and wives on their wedding day Great Exchange vows made holy but what is the intrinsic and essential part of the sacrament that completes the sacrament of matrimony the sexual embrace which means what St Thomas pointus was asked this question I don't know if he was asked the question or he came up with the question and the answer St thomasus right in the 13th century you think like okay uh father of aquinus um what do you think of like theological depth of husband and wife come together in the sexual embrace you imagine maybe this medieval monk Cate guy like well I guess if you have to but don't have you know whatever here's what Thomas buus said he said as often as a husband and wife come together in a sexual embrace in a state of grace they grow in Grace and in glory one more time as often as a husband and wife come together in the sexual embrace in a state of grace they grow in Grace and in glory which is one of the reasons why at some point I want to write a book called How to get holy through good sex or something like this right may need to be a pamphlet but what I'm talking about is this what I mean is this is you go you go to mass you receive God's grace go to confession receive God's grace pray to the rosary receive God's grace couples enter the sexual embrace what happens you receive God's grace I mean think of how bananas this is I mean that's one of the reasons why you know the church teaches what the church teaches about sexual embrace is that because like well it's kind of dirty save it for the one you love it's because it's so good and so holy that it belongs in this context context of marriage context of I'm I'm yours for life and as often as a husband and wife come together in the sexual race in the State of Grace they're they're being made more holy not just Grace but also Glory great this what's Glory Glory is the the honor and praise we give to God for eternity in heaven and you're growing in Grace and in glory the the more often you enter the sexual embrace with your spouse in the State of Grace so what that I always imagine it like this in the Book of Revelation it talks about you know John visits heaven and see these people wandering you know the streets of Heaven painted with gold it's all symbolism but the people who have like these crowns and in these crowns are like jewels and The Jewels are the merits of the Saints I imagine they'll get to heaven and you're like wo that person that you have so many jewels in your crown like what did you do love my wife not my husband but this is the truth the heart of the sacrament is this I'm giving myself totally to you and I'm receiving you totally and giving myself back to you as often as a couple enters in sexual embrace in a state of grace you're growing in Grace and Glory you're becoming more and more like God becoming more and more holy and this is this one of those situations where it's like kind like people if you're not Swedish already just think about it a little later on because I remember talking to a young couple and they they had already been married 7even years but they're married outside the church and she he was becoming Catholic and so they we did marriage prep after 7 years because they were going to get their marriage stated or blessed right in the Catholic church so we us to have some prep and we were covering This and like wow okay really fascinated by this the next time we met like guys you have any questions and he looks over at hurry and says should we tell him she's like yeah you should you go ahead and he said okay well uh last Tuesday night we were you know kids went down to sleep and we kind of started getting intimate and all of a sudden she was like wait God's involved in this we can't CU her her mentality had always been this kind of situation of like okay God okay okay just just going to shut the door just stay out there just stay just going to just no no no no don't come in it's like a little dog wants to come in your bedroom like no no no no no just because her mentality always been like we're kind of getting away with something here when it came to the sexual embrace versus here's God who's deeply involved in every aspect of Our Lives including SL especially his act of love that belongs in marriage and so she was kind of freaked out he's like yeah we had to kind of take a quick break because this ought to this ought to transform the way couples enter the sexual embrace now I'm not saying that that means that um so we we start the romantic night with some light scripture reading then we do some lexio then we pray that that no it's still that whatever Dynamic you all have where you love each other physically that's why I love when I'm introducing couples who are not married about this they're like okay that sounds great sounds exciting how do we do that now I'm like invite the Lord into your handling like invite the Lord into your embracing each other invite the Lord into your kisses and not just those nice kisses like the ones like good night like into the ones where you're kind of letting you know a little heavy over invite the Lord into that because you realize oh he belongs here there's no aspect of your life that he's not supposed to be part of and so for all y'all who might be kind of weirded out by this invite the Lord into your Embraces invite the Lord into your kisses invite the Lord into those other moments where it's maybe not so awkward or not so weird because the Lord who loves you wants to be part of your entire life amen amen he growing grace and Glory now that being said I I heard it once said that um even if a couple had a very hexual hexual healthy sexual relationship where like say they were intimate three times a week they say they they had a marriage that lasted 50 years and they're intimate three times a [Laughter] week I have literally no frame of reference for this I it was in a study that I read they said they said that 99.3% of their married life would still be spent outside the sexual embrace so again those stats whatever they are maybe they're even like you know I don't know World Series or uh Hall of Fame stat I don't know I don't know but but 99.3% of a married life would still be spent outside of the parental Embrace outside of the sexual embrace so what's that mean well it means that the 99.3% of your married life is also meant to be those moments that moment of Grace and Glory how do you do that well what's the sexual embrace I'm here for you freely not g not manipulated totally my whole self For You In This Moment Faithfully you and you alone and fruitfully just that the life that comes from this moment now in the sexual embrace we know what that means can I pause on this for a second yeah okay so here's a fascinating thing we sometimes do like uh renewal of vows for couples um now there's no I don't I don't know if you know this there's no official right for the renewal of wedding vows in the Catholic Church there's no official right in fact the church doesn't really it's kind of like handholding during the father it doesn't really propose this as a as a good thing it doesn't say it's like the worst thing in the world you can do much worse things than we new your wedding V was we're going to bless the weddings the marriages tonight but what I find fascinating is is is this why why not my parents were 25th year anniversary I remember the priest came over to the house said mass at the house they renewed their vows beautiful I got to be a part of that their 50th wed wedding anniversary I got to be the priest who helped them renew their vows and they celebrated M there it was awesome but going along with the theology here again you can always renew your promises to anybody it's not like you can't do it it's just there's no right for it why because the church knows this and believes this and professes this that you're renewing your vows every time you enter the sexual embrace you're not just renewing your vows you're entering into the sacrament not just with words but with your very lives so every time a couple enters a sexual embrace you are saying once again I'm Yours freely and totally and faithfully and fruitfully I am all yours in God's name so you don't have to wait for your 25th end of please don't just that sense of every time a couple enters a sexual embrace you are renewing your vows and not just your vows you're renewing the sacrament once again God's grace is fully present as it was on your wedding day bananas it's awesome it's amazing back to our story so um the thing we're talking about with the 9 99.3% of the time what do you do well there is a I have a friend we'll just say his real man his name is Zach and his wife's name is Nikki and at one point Nikki she she hates doing the the dishes like I don't know too many people who love doing the dishes but Nikki inant hates doing the dishes so Zach just like their whole marriage he does the dishes like that's what he does and our mutual friend Father Ben uh another priest in our dasis father Ben and Zach used to be roommates before uh father Ben became priest and Zach got married father B was like Zach you know that he pointed to his sink he said Zack that's sink that's your altar Zach's like what do you mean he's like no that's that's where you lay down your life for your bride he's like oh whatever he's like no it's true as often as you do this thing for her that you know she doesn't want to do but you're only doing it because you love her that's part of that 99.3% of the time where you're loving her freely totally Faithfully fruitfully Zach for his part is kind of funny um at one point Zach uh so you guys taking the five love languages or you know of them at least so the love are physical touch words of affirmation quality time gift giving and act of service right so Zach in his years he number one for him was was physical touch and the other four were number five he was like I don't really care I don't care about those physical touchup number one at one point um they get married he and Nikki get married and um he came home from work after she did and he went into the laundry room because he had some he put some clothes in the dryer before he went to work and he opens the dryer and there's no no clothes there so he shuts it and walks to um their bedroom and he doesn't see his clothes so he walked over to the drawer and he opens the drawer and there's all these shirts that were folded and put away so she had gotten home before him saw his clothes in the dryer took them out folded him put him in the drawer and he said father I stood there in the middle of our bedroom and I was just like oh my heart this woman loves me so much because it was just that sense of like I'm just giv I know what you I'm just going to do this for you just gift free total faithful fruitful in fact um there's one one guy uh who he was getting married I did marriage prep with him and he was one of the the crew and kind of the first gen of UMD students who passed through our Newman Center and uh before about maybe two weeks three weeks before he got married he invited all of his married friends and his priest out to uh a place called The Anchor Bar which it I'll tell you when I tell you where it is you'll be like oh that kind of place it's in Superior Wisconsin so it's sketchy and so um so anyways um what an anchor bar he wanted a bunch of advice we wanted his friends to give him like what's the advice that you got in your in your marriage and one of his buddies and the priest and one of his buddies said um you know one of that things I did his name is Tony Tony says you know I first couple years of our marriage I I noticed that my wife every night she got herself a glass of water and so one night I was like you know what I know she likes I know she always gets herself a glass of water why don't I just get her a glass of water and he's like she shouldn't have to ask me I have been living with her for now the last couple years I know what she gets I'll just get it for her and it's one of those things of like okay that's the 99.3% of that's an act of Grace that's a moment of Grace if if if the sexual Grace is like confession or like the mass those kind of Acts 99.3% of the acts that's like praying the rosary right that's like reading the Bible it's not a Sacrament but there's Grace there amen amen but that's the thing it's like that worldview that says okay not only is this a covenant or I'm yours in your mind without condition but also that sense of being able to say how am I yours well I'm Yours freely and I'm Yours totally I'm Yours Faithfully and I'm yours fruitfully this can happen even in the midst of when you have failed to be free even when you have failed to give yourself totally even when you failed to love faithfully and even if you failed to love fruitfully all it takes is one decision this is God's grace God's grace is it is I mean his grace of his God's grace of creation is amazing God's grace of restoration is remarkable when we see we see young married couples like oh that's awesome that's God's grace of creation like oh that's so good they love R wonderful but see couples who have lived through a broken heart because of manipulation or coercion and have repented those couples who have failed to love each other totally and have repented those couples who have failed to love each other faithfully and repented those couples who have failed to love each other fruitfully and have repented that's God's mercy of redemption and if that's you you're the ones we look to it's always exciting to see the young couples get married but if you've lived those those up Nots if you've lived those those mindfields if you live through the explosions and you're still here you're the ones that are bearing witness to not only God's grace of creation but Grace of God's Redemption and restoration some of the couples that I have talked to who love each other most powerfully and most Faithfully now at one point in their life they failed to love each other Faithfully or they failed to love each other fruitfully or totally or freely why because remember this is a journey and you didn't know what you're saying yes to you just knew who you're saying yes to traveling with you didn't know what you said but this is the one this is who I'm saying yes and here's the last part right the third bucket vocation so the first one is Covenant Sacrament vocation um Catholics what does the word vocation mean call CS were still awake what does the word vocation mean calling call call exactly like so it means call was that what is what is it to have a call a call means there's a caller it means someone's actually inviting you to come forward someone's inviting you to respond so it wasn't simply a matter of I I fell in love with this person and I decided to marry them if we believe that that marriage is a location that means yes you fell in love with somebody but someone above you both was calling you into this relationship and I would just go as quickly as I can that there are I would say there are three senses of call in the Catholic church maybe there are three senses of call in the Catholic Church the first one is what the church terms as the universal call to Holiness which basically means everyone who's ever God has ever created he wants to be a saint everyone who's ever been made God has a destination in mind for them God has a Destiny for them right Destiny not the same thing as faith faith is like you're locked in Destiny you s have freedom Destiny simply means means God created you with a destination in mind and that destination is him that that's your call Universal call to Holiness everyone God ever made even if they're an atheist even if they wreck their life horribly God is still calling them to be a saint amen amen the second sense of call is what we typically think of is the big four vocation call so priesthood marriage and family consecrated single life and religious life right those those that second of call happens as well the third tense of call is what is God's call for you today like what's the season in life he's called you to what is he asking of you to how is he asking you to step forward in response to him in this moment right so this one constantly changes this one changes maybe once or twice in a person's life and this one never ever changes amen amen so here's the big question how do you discern this sense of call another way to say it is how do you live how you discern I called the L CU you're like um I already discerned it if like see this right how do you discern God wants you to live this call well I think sometimes people discern priesthood marriage and family consecrated a single life or religious Life by asking the wrong question what they ask is do I like the lifestyle like do I like what people do who are married do I like their life of a priest or the life of a consecrated single person in fact there was I once was meeting with a couple they were getting ready to get married and she wanted to talk oneon-one this is maybe two or 3 weeks before the wedding and yeah of course let's me so we sat down she said I I don't know if I should get married in 2 weeks I'm like okay tell me more she said well you know I've always I think I should be a nun tell me more I said why do you think you should be a nun and she said well as long as I can remember I've always I've been drawn to like a life of prayer I've been always been drawn to living simply I've always been been drawn to to a life of poverty I've always been drawn to to helping those that no one else is there to help so oh okay you know and he was like no that that's it I said okay well that's good news because um I know a lot of married couples who pray I know a lot of families who live simply I know a lot of husbands and wives who live in poverty I know a lot of parents who take care of these little people who no one else would take care of if they weren't there so all these things that you're saying I mean you took her seriously right they was dismissing but that sense of like you're Discerning the tasks what's the actual thing you're Discerning in second sense of call when you're actually the the main thing you're Discerning is this question what is the primary relationship by which God will call me to be this kind of person that's what you discerned and that's what now even as a married person that's what actively Discerning okay this is the primary relationship which God is calling me to be saying that's why whatever your wedding day was whatever that was we'll say it was February 1st that basically on February 1st you were saying from this day until the end of my life I have one job and that's to help you get to heaven the other person said same thing as of this day till the end of my life I had one job and that's to help you and our kids whatever kids God blesses us with to get to heaven so this is the primary relationship I have to so you know the priest a bishop the primary relationship is as often as that man loves his Parish loves the bride of Christ the way Christ loves her he'll become that man God's calling him to be he not religious sister loves Jesus as bride to Jesus the bridegroom and loves the sisters in are in life she becomes the woman God's calling her to be so as a husband loves his wife wife loves her husband they're becoming the people that God has called them to be amen amen so this is that thing it's like oh my gosh so this is so simple also how great how good is God now you might have block I don't know I don't know where everyone's at but sometimes it's easy to miss this sometimes easy to forget this how good God is not only not only is one of the many sources of his grace the sexual embrace goodness of God also sometimes when it comes to becoming a saint we get so distracted and distressed because like man what do I have to do I've got to be like Mother Teresa like I've got to go to Kolkata I've got to give up everything now some people are called to that but here's here's the great news for you called the marriage God what do you want me to do here's what I want you to do do I want you to love the person you already love the most the way I love them that's it whoever you love the most already I want you to love that person the way I love them it'd be easier to go to Kata I think but how amazing is that whatever get kids I bless you with just love them the way I love them too this is this is so good this is just God's plan for your Holiness to become this kind of person this saint he made you to be okay this is the primary relationship and that's always asking always asking that in his name and by the power of His holy spirit I love the person I already love the most the way he loves them so if that's the case here's the last thing that's the case what do I do that's the goal how do we live well um bunch of years ago I was meeting with a couple and uh at the beginning of marriage prep I always ask uh you have any questions so this guy comes in he was a big guy he had like it doesn't matter he was a big athlete and she was a small athlete it was they were fun they always sat in the front and it was like um Goliath next to a tiny human um and he comes in and he he sits down the at the table and like Creek and you guys have any questions he's like yeah we were talking he said so when it comes time for us like and we are able to actually like you know have our dream house can we build one from scratch or do we have to find a house that already exists and like fix it up in order to save on resources like what do you think God wants and I was like I have no idea I have no idea if God even has an opinion on that but the fact that you're asking the house we end up living in what kind of house do you think God wants us to live in that's the right question should we live in the country or the city what does God want that's a great question should we live close to family or close to our work what does God want that's the great question the question of okay making a big decision okay what does God want here's the question for all y'all when was the last time that you as a couple had a decision and said okay what does God want now I know there some people are like yesterday like okay fine great but not not necessarily all of us that's the discernment right if this is the primary relationship by which become those people one of the questions we want to regularly ask is what does God want another another example um there's a couple Dan and Sarah are their names and uh they got married after Dan's senior year before Sarah's junior year sorry before Jun Sarah's senior year so they get married that summer for that fall time and then he moved down to the Twin Cities 2 and a half hours away while she had to finish up her senior year up in duth and so they she'd go down and visit on the weekends their apartment and come back for school she was also an rcia at the time so I got to see her throughout the week so it was rcia night one night and uh this after they're avoiding and everything and she said oh Father Dan told me I needed to tell you a story like oh yeah go ahead she said okay so we went out I was down you the cities at our apartment and we went out late on Saturday night and so Sunday morning holds around and the alarm goes off and Dan's like ah Sarah he's already got right a Sarah we got to get up we got to go to mass soon she's like d it's so early I'm so tired let's just sleep and he's he's getting ready comes back she's not moved yet she's like Sarah we have to get up we have to go to church she like Dan just let me sleep just we'll go another time leaves comes back he's almost all ready he's like Sarah we have to go right now if we don't go right now we're not going to make it to mass she's like Dan says well go next week it'll be fine she said that's when he stopped stood there looked down at her and said Sarah how am I supposed to get you to heaven the cany get you the [Music] mass and she said she looked up and she was like fine and she got up and got dressed he she said he's driving a ass I W and he looks over and he's like you have to tell father Mike I said that because that's the reality sometimes I why are you married because you want to help each other when the other one's weak that's not the same thing as nagging we know that nagging doesn't help nagging doesn't help nagging doesn't help but helps a little bit no no no no no it hasn't helped in the past but this time it's going to help hagging does nagging doesn't help we know that so it's not the same thing to support someone to be strong for them when they're weak it's not the same thing it's nagging and bickering them to get to the okay we all agreed amen so because we want to get to this goal want to get to this place and there's sometimes where it's like okay how am I going to get there well we've covenanted ourselves to each other we said I'm yours in your mind without condition how do we do that we do that freely and totally as a Sacrament freely totally Faithfully fruitfully relying on God's grace but also forgiving each other also being patient in the way that we need because this is your call we to realize that from all eternity God had said this is the sacrament this is the the the the Covenant by which you'll become that Saint and it doesn't look the way you thought it would look right right now this year last year last 10 years however long it's been probably doesn't look the way you thought it would look but God's still there and you're still here so what does that mean that means he's still calling and you're still saying yes and you're saying yes in a broken World in a dangerous world you're saying yes to a God who is faithful and true which means what which means that every time you say yes to God every time you say yes to love it is going to be a risk but God is faithful and God is true and the person sitting next to you is worth loving the way he loves so it's a risk God is faithful and they're worth the risk all glory be to the father to the son to the Holy Spirit as well as beginning is now and ever shall be World Without End am father son holy spirit amen

Channel: Cristina Hernandez

Views: 884

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Id: BENG5GHzI2k

Length: 56min 11sec (3371 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 03 2024