7 Things A Catholic Priest Should Never Say | The Catholic Talk Show

hey everybody welcome back to another episode of the Catholic Talk Show today we're going to be looking at things that priest shouldn't be saying to his parishioners that's right these things are red flags if you hear them coming from your priest so we're going to talk about what they are and if you do hear them what you should do about them oh I've got [Music] [Applause] [Music] one [Music] all right this should be a good episode I uh I wonder if we'll get into things that you've said as a probably have because I'm certainly imperfect but you know like I I love the fact that we've done the things that you should never say to a priest right and I've I've shared publicly at at the parish it's like things that you should say to a priest you know and uh today is like what priest shouldn't say to you as a parishioner so this is going to be a fun episode but also we're going to talk about some things that have really wounded people too along the way and uh how we can get in the way of of Christ at times as priest that's right now before we get into it I want to make sure that everyone watching this clicks like share and subscribe it really helps us and if you want to support the show go to Catholic talk show.com patreon and you can get all kinds of cool uh gifts in exchange for your support and we really appreciate it my favorite hoodie that's it like And subscribe like And subscribe Bell ding Belling ding ding right your PRI should absolutely not tell you not to subscribe I think that's right right and that's something I should say you should but this episode is about what I shouldn't say you know so the reason the the idea for this episode came from a comment that you you said you were ministering to a individual who was on their deathbed and they were asking for you know the pardon you know before the journey and they were really hurt they're like so father does this cost anything yeah God Rest Joe putts and uh the Beautiful Soul that he he was and and uh amazing Community leader um and he was away from the church for a very long time because of an experience that he had in his youth with a loved one of his where on the deathbed of his I believe it was his uncle you know the priest was saying that you need to tithe if you want the sacrament if you want the anointing of the sick and and the preparation rights and the Commendation rights of of those who are preparing for death and I'm sitting there listening to him and it's just like my heart is just so deeply like wounded by that like and and um you know granted I'm mindful as an administrator and as a pastor for the financial welfare of our parents all of our pastors are and they should be because there is a role in the Holy Spirit that's related to Administration but the administration of the sacraments clearly in canon law uh you know prohibit completely you know the sale of any type of a Sacrament and we're very strict in that in the church so that for this to be happiness is was like a gross gross you know practice and behavior from from that particular priest yeah I think that's the number one thing on this list is that no priest should ever tell you that it cost money for the sacraments it just that that is such an egregious misuse of the the role of the priesthood to charge for the sacr I mean that is that's simony I mean that goes to Simon Mages like the first heretic of the church that's like one of the as far as I can remember the first formal heretic in Christianity his sin was charging for Spiritual Goods I mean that's how fundamentally wrong that is it reminds me of the scripture passage where Jesus says that you know that they're tying heavy burdens on those they should be serving right like you're tying burdens on people to to receive what is freely given by God and when you when you look at what how are we getting in the way when that when that becomes you know the priority and our main focus as pastors is the financial welfare of the of the parish and certainly as it relates to sacraments you know we're getting in the way of the crucified Christ who says forgive them Father for they know not what they do we're getting the way of the open Wounded Heart of Christ that was wounded for our salvation and the establishment of the church and the sacraments that we celebrate that was freely given from the heart of Christ so you know the fact that we can jump in the way of that and and kind of uh stand as a block to that type of encounter with Christ love is is really a terrible thing that can happen now that's not to say that there isn't instances where it's appropriate in conjunction with a sacrament to make an offering or a a donation stien a stien a gift you know and and that's where I want to kind of present to you guys because you you were married in the church both of you and how did you approach the sacrament of marriage and what was your experience of going to the church did you where was your reception was the reception in the church Hall like how did you select the church and what was that process like because for some people you know I still remember uh preparing a couple um in San Diego for marriage and I I jumped on Facebook one particular day and the the bride kind of went on a long R long rant and kind of commented just in like a a post you know this cost this you know the wedding planner the dress all of the you know the venue all and she's counting down all this stuff and then and at the very end she says and we're having a priest and you know you got to pay him so then I just kind of jumped into the comment section and I was just like hey you know I know you got a lot going on right now you know I just as the priest who's actually celebrating your your marriage I just want to let you know you don't have to pay anything because there's no cost for the sacrament you know but it is traditional look I mean you do you give a gift I think out of gratitude I we were broke I was got married when I was 22 I think we gave father Kevin a 100 bucks right and that was a lot for us back then but it was not expected at the end of it I think I gave it to my mom in a car to give to him because we were you know taken off in the in the limo or whatever um but you know at baptism it's the same thing um I think a lot of times people will bring bring up annulments saying oh the church WIll divorce you for free no problem as long as you give them some money $300 $400 that's not what the the fee is that's for you know the administration that's if you have to hire a Canon lawyer I mean all these people deserve their just wages for their expertise and for the things they do and there's a staffing associated with church operations there's a staffing associated with the tribunal offices that process an nments so there is a business compon component so there there may be you know like a I would say a cleric or administrative component business has the connotation of making money this is about really I mean breaking even and being able to provide service it's a nonprofit that's it I think it's a 501c3 like it's a nonprofit that's right right yeah and I think we paid for the the use of the place that we had our reception we had we it was you know Jen's parents didn't have any money I barely had money we I think we spent $2,500 on our wedding and we had Mac cheese and chicken tenders and we had a DJ that looked like uh uh wedding play no what's what's the guy's name the comedian that passed away he's really funny can't remember his name Mitch Hedberg no he's he's really funnyy I don't know there's a lot of them dude yeah I think he like hung himself but anyways oh my goodness Rob Williams Robin Williams yeah he looked just like Rob why you say he was the funny guy who hung himself I thought he I I didn't know God I love Rob William me too so yeah so you know it it was very it was on the cheat we you know we we actually took our checks that we got back to our hotel room and we're looking at them to see if we're going to be able to go on a freaking honeymoon yeah and sure enough you got you're doing a good friends man all because Larry Lanny showed up to the wedd Larry Lanny Tippy H uh there's a couple chest hair stuck in the envelope but that that's a beautiful a beautiful kind of uh perspective that both of you are sharing in respect to the gift and the Gratitude um one for the priest who's doing it but also more importantly like the church that you're you're doing it it's like there's an offering to the to the church um you know so we have to be careful about when we talk about you know do you have musicians do you have uh an altar server that you want to give 25 bucks to because they serve the m there's there's different things like that that people customarily give but it's not to be confused that this is like a transaction taking place around the sacraments if you don't give that gift you still will get married you'll still get to use the church you will it's just Gentile to do so it's it's a it's an offering that you make to the church out of gratitude it's not a line item on your list of things that you're paying like this girl is r about which I think part of that was probably bragging too like look how much money I'm spending on my wedding I got father Pagano he's one of them expensive he's a young priest and there's not much I got to pay for his hair gel for a whole month I do not use hair gel he uses Pomade organic I think a second one that you your priest should never say to it's kind of similar to the first and it's about the denial of the sacraments um there's valid times for a priest to deny you a Sacrament so for example uh he might deny you Absolution in the confessional if you're living in a state of sin and have no uh desire or willingness to change it right so maybe you're living in a regular relationship I know a priest denied me that when we weren't my wife and I were not married in the church he's like I can't give you Absolution there's other times where maybe you can't receive communion because you are known to be outside of the church or whatever but baptis of babies I think is one that a PRI should never say no to a family so whether like let's say you're you're living in an irregular relationship you're not married maybe the father's not around maybe you're not baptized or you're not Catholic but you want to a a person brings a baby to a priest to be baptized I don't think a priest should ever say no to that yeah and and I've I've walked into parishes um where pastors have outlined in their documentation um that they need to be registered parishioners tithing parishioners for a period of six months to a year before you baptize the child and they just kind of create all of these different stipulations and and um you know requirements in order for baptism to take place which is also just like a a really um poor way to approach the sacrament of baptism and also interaction with families that are seeking to fulfill possibly for them to fulfill what has been passed down to them they may not be well catechized that's a different story like to go through a catechetical program in preparation that's kind of important like we should we should do that but to have all of these other stipulations including you know leveraging that tithe based on what a Sacrament so again it all kind of yeah leverages in in a way that that shouldn't be yeah and I think it all goes back to what you said earlier is that Christ's Grace is undeserved and freely given and and earned for us we did nothing to earn it so for us to put up barriers or to put up cost associated with it is to literally to become Antichrist you're standing between Christ and the people that he came to save so I I really I really that was always rubb me the wrong way oh oh I don't know you got knocked up and you're living Crazy Life and now you got a kid number number one you decided to have the kid great number two you want to have it baptized just do it I mean look any any baptize Catholic can baptize the baby for free so if the priest isn't going to do it that's just I think that's absurd I don't like it yeah yeah no it's and and that's certainly as we inventory what priest should not say that's you know clearly you know uh one that PRI should not say delross in your in your opinion you know you were in the Seminary for a long time time and uh you know you've obviously been a cradle Catholic your whole life and and um you've interacted with parishes and communities all over uh the country like what are things that in your opinion that a priest should never never say um I had one experience in a confession one time where he's just like you're bad and I'm like uh okay and it went on the bantering went on for like five or six minutes and I'm like I no I'm not I'm not bad I made bad choices I regret them I'm seeking the mercy of God oh no you're bad I'm like am I do I have to walk out of this confession like this is myish I couldn't look at this guy anymore you were I couldn't even stand to look at him like I was just like yeah I let him have it in the confession like are you going to give me Absolution or not like then I then you know you you flip that right and you I went to a confession and the guy's just like are you sorry for these sins yes then I will give you Absolution that's what he said right so it's like you know two different things so I this guy read poems and stuff turn ear his H it was kind of weird but the the HT you dud the funny the funny the funny part of that sounds like you're still hurt you need h i do the funny part was I I brought a friend of mine who's been away from the church for like five six years to to go back to confession to go back to mass and I'm sitting there in line I'm like Hey listen you know if if your confession takes a long time don't worry about it like you know that's fine just take your time go through it I said mine's probably going to be quick it's you know like I go a lot so I was in there for like 10 minutes you know yelling at this guy and trying to twist his arm yelling and you know and then he goes in there and it's like he's out in like 30 seconds or something I'm like wow he says I thought you were the one that was going to be it that's I love that story so yeah it's it's like those kind of encounters um you know another one uh once again just want to point out and emphasize like this is all around the sacraments like where where wounds can happen like like sincerely like we can priest can hurt people you know in in relationship to that yeah I mean recently um the Pope Francis one of the big things about him is always giving Absolution in the confessional now I and he's not saying oh you know an unrepentant or unpenitent sinner but he's saying look the people the priests who are denying Absolution um are are harming people right they're becoming an unjust barrier between Christ's Mercy which is infinite and unbounded right now obviously it's a priest's job to correct guide and Pastor so look if you're doing bad things right okay Ryan you're doing bad things I'm bad you are not bad you do bad things you are bad you are good you are good you are bad who said you are a bad you are bad you are bad so it's not about that you're doing bad things but the priest is supposed to guide you now if he's if he's going to deny you Absolution like I've been denied Absolution it's not it shouldn't be out of malice it shouldn't be out of judgment it should be out of pastoral guidance saying look you're in an irregular situation here's how you fix it right not just to be like you're bad get out of here right and like the and then the Pastoral Care aspect of it too is like come to mass right don't receive Eucharist right you know work out let's create a pastoral plan so that you can work on a path where this is going to lead to marriage and you know living living in a in a proper relationship with church teaching um there there's always a path you know and and it has to be laid out in that form of Truth and tenderness yeah uh Pope Francis called people called priests who deny Absolution delinquents who are evil unjust and full of moralistic judgment now a lot to unpacking that statement that's another episode but I think the sentiment there and in our meeting with uh with Pope Francis a couple of years ago as a missionary of Mercy you know he's he's speaking to all of us and he's like I don't want you to be missionaries of Mercy if you're not going to confession yourself if you're not recognizing your own sinfulness and recognizing your wrongs before God and going to confession and being immersed in Mercy how are you going to extend Mercy to the people that you're serving and I think to Pope francis's pastoral care too he's extending his faculties through the missionaries of Mercy to forgive sins that were retained to his office in the tribunal in Rome you know for many many years so desecration of the Eucharist and other forms of uh you know um violating the sacramental seal all these other aspects of what is proper to the pope to forgive he's extended Mercy to all corners of the earth to All Nations based on this this new missionary order of the missionaries of mercy and that would be in line with Mercy freely given yeah yeah yeah now here's another one and I I think this is one that I think probably be the one that most people when they're watching this video is probably the first one they were thinking a PRI should not tell you who to vote for that's and that's I think true very particularly in America but I think that's true in most instances right um would you ever tell somebody get up on there on a Sunday and say here you need to vote for this and that candidate well it it happens all the time because um one you get it you get it from all angles so you get it from parishioners who email you saying you need to endorse and preach about this and it's all political partisan type of jargon um and then you have politicians who represent oh we need separation of church and state but then they're also kind of lobbying the uh the support of people within church because they're running on values that are related to the faith um so it's like there's a lot of complexity to it but you know I had a situation here where I had a parishioner that was uh running against another Catholic and and um and I don't even know if they're I'm pretty sure they're probably in different uh political sides but you know the person one of the people pulled up their car that that's not a parishioner and and had you know materials about his wife running for for political office and parked on the property of the church and I up to him I'm like hey man like what you doing there what are you what are you doing he's like well I know that you know so and so is your friend and I'm like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I said I have parishioners here okay and I'm not representing the I have parishioners here and I am not promoting or endorsing him in any way you don't see any signs here do you of my parishioner on my property you know I can't have your wife cuz then that looks like I'm endorsing right yeah he's like and I just expressed to him I'm like this is private property this isiv you can't be parked here so where can I park I said that's for you to figure out buddy like not here it's just not here you ain't got to go home you just can't but but it's it's true like and I try to be very very very very cautious because there's things that um Rouse the spirit of aggression and anger and violence of in people in the parish that I have to address with truth and and because everything is so politicized it becomes a challenge of how to address it and not treat the pulpit as a partisan Pulpit where I'm going to preach some side of this I have to represent the kingdom of God yeah and and God's righteousness in in word Jesus 2024 he's uh he's also encountered that Jesus encountered that walking with the disciples where they're just like hey you know this is this Kingdom that you speak of like he's gonna he's going to stop all this tyranny all this you know and he's just he explained to them several times in scripture this is this is the Kingdom of Heaven it's the kingdom of your hearts right this is he had to explain that several times so you're going to be explaining that a lot more and and the church the church ought to inform conscience and speak to realities that are B B on values and moral Direction and all of that type of stuff um the church must always protect and uphold and proclaim the Dignity of life from conception to Natural death and even in the state of death that there's a dignity to the human person made in the image and likeness of God The Church Must do that and if if you're going to be based you're going to be basing your voting decision on these particular areas of focus of the parties you know the church has to represent the kingdom and the Val vales and what the church proclaims and it you know and then you have to discern you know and and I've said this to people too it's like how do you expect me to proclaim the Republican side or the Democratic side where in one single voice I could be Pro death penalty and pro-abortion at the same time yeah depending on where I where I represent it's like no I'm I'm not for death penalty and I'm not for abortion didn't the church put out a voting guide or something like that at some point there's voting guides those are always based on the the morality of the church not necessarily a candidate never a candidate never even a party saying look here's the things to consider so like for example there's the five non-negotiables right you could no Catholic should ever vote for somebody who supports abortion euthanasia embryonic stem cells human cloning and same- seex marriage so you don't vote if both both yeah you should not that are non-negotiable now that's the kind of guidance the church gives they don't say well this dude's for three out of those four don't vote for him or hey this dude doesn't do any of those you should definitely Vote for This candidate like that would be I think an inappropriate use of the pulpit which is ultimately not about Caesar's Kingdom but about God's people you know and and there are there are some brothers and we know we know a couple of them that that came up through the ranks here in the dicese that um they were older VOC second vocations as as we call it like you know they were married and then you know their wife passed away and they pursued vocation the priit and I'm thinking of one in particular where the whole Focus for him becoming a priest was get to the pulpit and preach politics and then almost immediately he was he REM his faculty to preach was removed really yeah like almost immediately cuz he wanted to use the priesthood as a cudel you know as a weapon that's I think a lot of these things that's the same thing is the desire to use the priesthood as a weapon for either person or financial or selfish reasons I think you would go to school for eight years to do that well four years for for the older vocation for still a lot of time to be able to do that yeah but people crave Power Man I mean that's and that's for a lot of people I mean spiritual power is a very very powerful thing I mean it sways people fundamentally and that's why a lot of these things are such egregious breaches of trust because people are putting so much into someone's Spiritual Authority you know and and something you know we should never assume or pursue ambitiously Spiritual Authority and power unless it's bestowed on you because the reality of it you know we need to Humble ourselves before that Authority because the the sensitive aspect of what we do as priests as you're describing is we should be ultimately cautious and the thing that that the thing that keeps me up at night in my heart as a as a pastor and what keeps me hitting my knees every day is is Jesus like you know I hope that I handled this situation right like I I hope that I cared for this person was I impatient with this person was I impatient with this like how I'm I'm constantly assessing myself and asking the Lord for Mercy because you know I'm human just like any other Pastor or priest is human and we're describing things that a priest should not say and I'm sure there I'm sure there's a number of things that I have said that's why I really admire Bishop Baker you know Bishop Baker was a priest of our dicese and then he was elev was a bishop here or there he was in uh Birmingham near EWTN uh that's where he retired but whenever he would leave a parish that he was associated with he would always express he would say um when he left Christ the King um I just want to take a moment and apologize to anyone and everyone that that I may have hurt along the way and to know that my intention was not to do that and I would ask for your forgiveness and you know I'm grateful that God has brought me it's something simple as simple as that but I I always found that to be just so beautiful that the Lord inspired him to to express that and you know I hope that when the day comes when when I I need to transition and move to my next assignment like I'm going to be saying the same thing because you know with the volume of work and the things you get pulled in different directions like there there is that aspect of of saying things that a pre shouldn't Y and that's the conscious of a father right like I mean I I have the same assessment mentally in my conscience about am I dealing with this the right way with my children yeah or am I saying this the right way am I spending enough time with my children you know like that's a that's a Grace to be given and parted on a father a Father's Heart yeah now here's something I know a preach should never say do not go out to kathas show.com hollow and try Hollow the number one person Prayer app I don't think a priest should ever say that no do you know why why because a priest should say you should go to Cath show.com Hollow and try out the number one Catholic prayer act okay well let me let me just do that so you should take a moment right now and go to Catholic Talk show.com Hall and try the number one Christian Prayer app in the app store today that's right Hollow is a fantastic app it is so full of features there's so many things to help you in your prayer life and look in the modern world technology usually is going to distract us from God it's going to distract us from our our uh prayer life but Hollow is an app that uses technology for good it allows you to use the convenience that you love about your phone having it always in your pocket but then always being able to use it for something that directs you to a higher calling right so it's got things like um prayer guides so things to help you pray the rosary or the or the Liturgy of the Hours or the examin or prepare for confession it has things like uh that's the thing that I love though the Liturgy the hours compos component of it and it's like you know when you're on the run I love my bravery and and you guys saw me this morning praying my praying my bravery there's nothing like having the actual bravery but when you're on the run and all of us are like from morning until night it's important to stop and pray and this app has so many resources even outside of the Liturgy of the Hours so you could pray in solidarity with the Pope and all the religious all the priests in the world by praying the Liturgy of the Hours or you could just pop into like little meditations they have short ones longer ones they have ones at night you could do to kind of wind you down and bring you some rest and calm and peace in your life sleep stories yeah and the music they have on there I got a family account and so Ava Joe myself and Jen we have a little family group and so they they'll come home from school I'm like yo you've been praying today it don't look like you've been praying today go open your room and get some action yeah D not according to hollow you had it is cool though like to to talk about they just holding each other accountable like they do the same thing to absolutely yeah they got all kinds of great things like uh they got music they got sleep aids they've got uh meditation guides they have just articles and challenges right things to help you uh uh reorient yourself they have things like uh Bible in a year or catechism in the year they have Bishop Baron they have Scott Han they have all kinds of great uh five minutes you could do 15 minutes you could do 30 minutes you can do nine days you could do 30 I mean there's like literally something for everybody to get into that's right so again you could try this app out for free you get you can try out a free trial of the premium subscription go to catholic.com hollow to try that out we really wholeheartedly recommend it and this priest endorses it and and it's so great to partner with hallow they've become just such good friends over the years and we're so proud of the work that they're doing that they're continuing to do and the work of prayer is absolutely important and a priest will always tell you to pray and that's and that is our fun you know our foundation with our God now here's another thing that a priest should not tell you to do and I don't know if this one sounds familiar to you but to find another church or find another religion yeah I said that in a moment of anger and frustration I did not say that to the person did I say that to the person no you didn't you were about to say yes you did I did not say it to the person I may have said it to you under a fit of frustration if if none of you out there have close personal relationships with priests and you only see them you know um days year yeah you only you only see them on Sundays wearing their robes let me tell you priests are just like the rest of us and they get irritated and they get frustrated too right and not every priest gets along with every parishioner right they just don't I mean I don't get along with a lot of people uh like there the people I just don't get along with just you don't clash with them right you don't match with them same thing for a priest that being said fell Rich feel like I'm on the hot seat right now should you ever tell a priest to go find a different Parish no no no no because you'll have you'll have you know what happened with that situation though it was like it was it was really beautiful because and this is how Christ works like he brings you to your knees in humility like he's doing right now he humbles he humbles us to exalt us and the exalted Ministry of Jesus was so present when when this guy went through you know just a few months later a terrible bout with cancer you know and and was able to administer care for him in the name of the Lord and the Lord very powerfully cared for him and it brought him back into into the fold same way that this guy you know walked away from the church here and and is very angry at the bishop and angry at the tribunal and angry because of the inment process and everyone you know like all this stuff and I love this guy you know like I genu Ely care about this guy and um and now he's he's failing in health and guess what like the church is going to be there for him you know like I'm going to be there for him and Pastor care even though he's walked away and and that's what that's what the Church of Shepherd in in the in the name of the Good Shepherd has to do and but we are human in the way that we interact with each other and and uh yeah there's many fallible moments in the day so I mean there'll be people I can only presume that come up to you and say father you should have done this why didn't you say this I like when this priest does that the my old priest much better than you right um and I think I mean that there's a judgmentalism that can come from the parishioners too but how a priest should can handle that I think because I mean you you experienced that I'm sure right oh yeah and it and it happens with uh every transition of a new pastorate you know I had that when I came in from you know this this wasn't the way that we did this that or the other and and and you know I was reamed out by by Kim you know like she came in and she was ready to destroy me and you know yeah but that was our first meeting I didn't know that was her church yeah and like so so she just like she came to she came to like take me out you know and like I would be afraid of that I'm afraid Kess you but you know like God's grace once again like at the end of that meeting she she committed a volunteer and and help and and the Holy Spirit fills in gaps like you would not believe as a pastor yeah I couldn't imagine that place without Kim but if you would have handled that wrong Kim wouldn't have been there you know like so he gives you Grace in in very significant moments and um and reconciling moments but that that happens right like and and it's going to happen even if I sat down and I said you know hey everybody there's going to be a new pastor coming and it's been a joy being here with you you know please be nice like let him kind of lead you know it's he's going to bring in a different charism he's going to bring in his personality he's going to bring in his own preaching style like can you please be nice and courteous and just kind of be patient and let him lead you going to do the same darn thing could you imagine having to follow father Mike Schmitz at a parish I would never survive right I mean you got Schmid for six years and then you come in you're like you know what I would do though I would just carry around this candle in procession everywhere that I went he's still with us hey this one guy father Vinnie D Roa he he went to a parish and uh he he moved the celebrant chair to kind of face a just like you just a little bit and he said I thought they were gonna kill me outside the church oh yeah like these people are like what are you moving the chair for he just I just moved it a little bit you know it was the same thing with the statues of St Joseph and the Blessed Mother these beautiful statues that the previous administrator got for the parish they're 100 plus years old from Philly like awesome awesome statues but they were in the corner like and they were kind of like it was like what we need to move them closer to the altar like move you know and and I got it was like a letter writing campaign par excellance and like people wanted to oust me get me out of the parish like it was it was crazy it was a crazy experience I got to imagine a lot of patience and humility is necessary to deal with that it's a lot of for Jesus like honestly a it's a lot of love for Jesus bro like it's got to be right like I remember y y'all seen my cross where Jesus doesn't have arms or feet and I had that in my bedroom at the time when I was transitioning into the pastor at here and I I remember one morning distinctly where I just felt like Jesus was saying like Richard are you willing to suffer for my church and I'm looking at the crucifix and I'm like like Lord what what am I supposed to say to that like you're dying on the cross I'm not dying like I'm suffering but I'm not dying like all right let's do it another day like you know and then I'd watch Band of Brothers at night and i' wake up and I'd reverence the Jesus on the cross Metallica in the morning it's like despite all my rage I to that's Smashing Pumpkins yeah I know I know I know I know I know that's why cuz I'm not much of a Metallica guy shout out Robert burn yeah Metallica it's like how can you be that angry for that long you guys are like 60 like get therapy dude it's not you know like they're probably like the most peaceful guys like behind the scenes yeah I see like pictures of James headfield and he's walking around wearing like Dockers and stuff and like shopping at our wearing Howard's shirt wearing Howard shirt you guys know Dan Burke yeah he's been on a show yeah like I went to his house one time we were like hanging out and dude he listens to like heavy heavy metal man and I was like what and he's also the most spiritual guy I know you know outside of a priest he just loves that stuff like Nordic Nordic grind I don't even I didn't even these bands dude uh I I think the the last one um that we should mention and this one's probably a little bit more serious is that um it's still always good to mention boundaries right there should be boundaries with you and your priest um and I think we've learned that in such a painful way with the the sexual abuse Scandal MH so if if a priest were to do something that's maybe crossing a boundary or whatever what would you recommend that a parishioner how should they handle that what what are the proper channels to either report or or deal with something like that I think first and formost you you talk to the priest like you talk to the priest particularly like that's the first thing that's a scriptural thing thing to do and then you know if this is a concern and it's and it's being bright in the community you bring two or three more people to speak to to that priest and then you go through the higherway you know just follow the scriptural Guidance the guidelines there and then go to the proper authorities and that's that's communicating it through the Chancery to the bishop and and then the bishop will intervene pastorally in his role and try to bring reconciliation and peace and and pastoral care um you know these these things things have happened in in many instances uh in many priest's lives and it's not something to be foreign so you know for for those who are you know Discerning the priesthood the priesthood is tough you know but at the same time you have a structure in the church that's pastoral too like I have a I have a bishop I've had several Bishops really but uh where Bishop gallion intervened in situations and in my life in a very pastoral way uh Bishop Estes as well trying to reconcile and and help me understand like these are the steps that I need to take to to get better and and you know we have to remember scripture too that like every trial that that a priest comes to um is meant for endurance of faith and then also so that we may be perfected in every in every respect so in the way that I approach priesthood imperfectly as a newly ordained priest um and just kind of like trying to care for everybody and respond to everybody's wants and needs to where I'm I am now where I'm just really trying to hone in on needs and I'm not really um entering into people's personal lives uh outside of what they're suffering you know that's the most important thing that I'm driven to um you know and and then even within that so it it's it's being reproved and perfected and pastorally cared for and that's the that's one of The Bishop's function as a father to all of his priests all of his sons you know um in respect to that so you know the structures of communicating these things must first primarily start with your priest and then if there is no reconciliation and and Improvement or recognition you know to be able to move up accordingly and for brothers to not feel isolated in the process they have protections too of any type of accusation and and canonical protections and canonical representation as as well as legal representation because we are put in a situation where we are public people with very imperfect people and some people have Neurosis they have all sorts of mental health issues they have all sorts of uh presented um wounds that that may turn very violent towards you um and and then try to attack you and destroy you um as a priest your reputation as a person so it could be it could be very challenging landscape at times but again love for Christ the faith of endurance like the endurance of faith is the thing that that Christ would will elicit in your heart if that's the journey that he's calling you on yeah I'm sure I'm sure a lot of those lessons have been really learned and Incorporated in the church particularly over the last 25 years um so but but it has been and canon law though for a very long time because they're they humanity is of not changing yeah so I mean and and granted like what's become so uh in the Limelight and the and the visual of of you know Scandal you know yeah most recently we've never had technology like this where it kind of creates a maximizing force of um you know of these realities in in the church so that that's that's a heavy one um I and look these are things like there's a proper role for your priest in your life right and some of these things are things I think you should look out for right like look you they shouldn't be denying you sacraments they shouldn't be pushing you away from the flock I think in general this episode's really about the the demeanor and the charism of preach was just to bring you into the fold and not to exclude you from the fold whether it's through causing wounds excluding you from the sacraments or denying you Grace that isn't his to value mhm so and also understanding that they're human beings and that you know the expectations that we have of them as priests should should be you know brought to the Forefront of our perspective 100% you know you know how many people have wounds from their parents because they have all these expectations of what their parents should have done for them I think a lot of people view priests the same way they have all these expectations of what a priest should be doing like hey look I'm hurting you should know this or hey I wish you would say this cuz I need guidance on this pries are just their people too so I think a lot of that kind of same um dangerous level of expectation could be expected of priests too yeah I forgive you father Ralph and pray pray for your pray for your priests like pray for your priests you know forgive your priests you know if if your priest is going to forgive you of your sins like forgive your priest too like the only way that we can establish any form of reconciliation the church as an instrument of Peace in the world is through mercy and that's that's Mercy in every respect we should be a family of Mercy yeah a church of Mercy yeah that's where the joy comes from it that's exactly it it's like I know that the church will not give up on me I know that the church will not give up on you like and and my hope is that it's beyond uh Christ because Christ is being um made present to all of the mystical members of his body and the mystical members of his body need to be operative and active in in Recon reconciling those members who have fallen away or separated themselves uh for different perspectives that may not be reality you know and reality check is important check hurt me once shame on you hurt me twice shame on me hurt me three times that means we're family thank you George W that was John Mayor um that was on there so stupid so one thing that you should tell people to do father Rich what are some things you should tell them to do well I mean if you haven't subscribed and click the Bell so that you receive the content of the Catholic Talk show every week or go to our website Catholic Talk show.com and see all of our past episodes as well as our patreon tier our patreon tier includes a lot of the gear that you see on the table as well as our hoodies and so many so much new content like I love our new mugs I love our new hats too and uh we've got plenty of Swag just to say thank you to those folks out there that support the show financially we wouldn't be able to do this without you so thank you we have all sorts of tears and it's all about affordability and just like little contributions it's nothing major but again many comes in the form of you know strength and we are one body and we are so 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Channel: The Catholic Talk Show

Views: 38,502

Keywords: Catholic, Catholic Podcast, Catholic Talk Show, Ryan Scheel, Ryan DellaCrosse, Father Rich Pagano, Catholic Radio, Catholic TV, Catholic Show, Matt Fradd, Mike Schmitz, Robert Barron, Catholic Answers, Catholic Stuff You Should Know, Bishop Barron, Breaking In The Habit

Id: NTDtf6xYFYI

Length: 45min 56sec (2756 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 12 2024