SEEK24 x Man Catholic with Fr. Mike Schmitz - Embracing an Intentional Life

[Music] welcome to the seek 24 podcast my name is John Michael Lucio and this podcast will feature some of our favorite podcasters recorded live at the spoke Street Media Booth during seek 24 in St Louis we hope these give you a glimpse of the energy and passion from the conference and help you in your faith Journey enjoy Welcome To The Man Catholic podcast we are live here at seek 24 my name is Steve priest I'm Thomas Schartz I'm Brock Martin my name is father Mike schmidtz let's go father we're excited to have you here with us today we have uh a great live audience here I don't know if you let's the micop you up I don't know if the mics pick you up we have a great crew here at se24 in St Louis with a special episode again we are the man Catholic podcast the three of us episode every week we stick to about 20 minutes so we'd love you to check us out but today we have a great episode we had father Mike on early on about a year ago yeah and uh the topic was how to not be a couch potato yep and in that episode you said four words that have really stuck with us and our list ERS throughout this past year and as a part of that topic of how to not be a couch potato you said we need to learn as men how to reject passivity and embrace responsibility yeah mik drop M and and uh again that that theme that that topic has come up in multiple podcasts over the past year what we want to do is look at that again but kind of take a deeper dive into that and and more apply it into our lives so it's great to have you back thanks sound that sounds great too I love that that the reality you know one of the things that how that uh that formulation of reject festivity Embrace responsibility came up was um I believe that there are because of the Fall there is uh there are a couple temptations that men and women fall into um that the Temptation that women typically fall into and I apologize um but this is just kind of how things are a lot of times the Temptation that women fall into a lot of times is a temptation to control like I want to be I want to make sure everything's where where it should be I want to make sure everything's taken care of I want to make sure everyone's taken care of and in a good way that's awesome because that that means that um people are cared for they're they're nurtured they things are ordered that's beautiful guys a lot of times because of the Fall our temptation is passivity and so a lot of times that happens we talked about this in the last P podcast but when a man and woman find each other and here's a guy who's kind of tempted towards passivity and there's a woman tempted towards control and at first it works out great like you know when it comes to the wedding planning and like honey you're in charge of that that's great she's like perfect finally I have the binder all ready to go and and he's like great she's taking care of this and she's like great I'm in control of this and then they set up a life and at first it's great because she decorates it cuz she's thought it through and he's like where do you want me to hang this right there okay where do you want this couch right there okay and so he takes Direction and doesn't offer a lot of input and she gets to control and what happens of course is it works until it doesn't and and so at some point that control becomes resentment where it's like wait a second why do I always have to be the one who makes things fine why do I always have to be the one who who makes all these decisions why do I always have to be the one who has it all together and he begins to resent it because he says well how come I'm not even I get to make decision why don't I get to inp put why why am I emasculated well like bro you emasculated yourself when you embraced passivity and she put herself into this position of of responsibility or position of control when she didn't trust him and that's the thing is like so for the spoiler we recovered we talked about this last podcast so for men the formulation is going to be reject passivity and embrace responsibility it's not reject passivity and embrace control it's not that it's Embrace responsibility for the woman it's not re it's not reject control and embrace uh passivity it's reject control and embrace trust amen and that's going to be the big relational kind of thing between men and women is going to be when she says okay I get to actually release some of this control because You' shown yourself you proved yourself that I can trust you to take responsibility so it's going to be a growth process if they dug that hole where he's fallen fully into passivity she's Fallen fully into control they have to build themselves out of that out of that hole by he slowly proves that he can be trusted by embracing responsibility father one one of the things that I think you brought up in the last podcast that I want to make sure we talk about today is the vice of aadia so if you can unpack that a little bit I think the reality is that it's hard to reject passivity because Comfort Andy to just sit there and kind a passive recipient to whatever and I think there's that Vice that you had mentioned is kind of connected to that unpack that for us yeah know I love I love talking about aadia aadia you know people call it sloth I like to pronounce it sloth but either way but aadia so SLO is not laziness and aadia is not laziness aadia is this is that sense of I love it like this it's regardless of where I am or what I'm doing I'd rather be somewhere else doing something else like that that sense of like well here's my life yeah but I can't wait until I could be somewhere else I get to be doing something else and that is again sometimes that drives us to do something else sometimes we're not supposed to be here right now and actually I'm supposed God that conversion moment can be like wait a second I'm supposed to be somewhere else God you made me to do something else than this that's that's wonderful that's not a chadia right that's that's that's action chadia is God you want me to be here but I want to be there and the more and more we're spend our lives looking around the corner for like what's next what's next what's next we can't live I mean it's literally impossible to live because if my whole life think about this if my whole life is spent wanting to be somewhere else doing something else that I'm never really here I'm never really now and where can God be found God's not found in the past he's not found in the future he can only be found in this moment God's will can only be found in this exact moment and so aadia uh is we can talk about it more and more but it's one of those and and I want to get to that practically in a second but we do that all the time don't we we do that with our weekend plans um where where we resist to make plans because we we want to wait to see what what's happening you know should I be somewhere else should you know should I want to do something else instead of really just living kind of in that moment and even in conversations how often will I be talking to you and kind of looking looking around like is there someone else that I could talk to yeah but we do that like every day all the time we're constantly being being distracted instead of being in in that present moment sometimes we do need to be called to go do something else but other times and this is I brought this up with Michelle dong you know and I don't know if you watched the do documentary last night but she was so good and I think Saints and holy people are so good at being right there in that moment not being distracted yeah and I as I work with college athletes one of the biggest thing is mindset yeah and so that speaks exactly to that if we're not living in the present moment if we're not playing in the present moment we won't hit the zone right and I think that's the same as Christian men we got to be in the moment to love cuz you can only love now you can't love yesterday hopefully you did you can't live in the future hopefully you will but you live now you live in the moment but when I was younger so much of my life was thinking of of Tomorrow Tomorrow When Will I be happy when will I find my spouse when will I do these things and and I missed a lot of the moment that I was living in and I think that's I love that cuz the chady of piece I didn't didn't realize it that is really what it was until now looking back and like shoot well it's fascinating too you mentioned that because it happens on the very smallest micro level and on the biggest macro level so the M micro level could be like in a conversation um on the playing field that's like okay in this moment I'm always thinking about these things the little bit bigger is the that sense on a day-to-day basis I ah my life I'm disgruntled by it you know but ultimately aadia is midlife crisis is the culmination of a chadia because I mean that that's why the monks called it the Noonday devil because you'd be a monk and you'd be in your Hut and you'd be praying and your job is to get up say your prayers and that from 10:00 to 2:00 you're just you're in your Hut you're supposed to be there just just all you're supposed to do is stay here with the Lord but the monks said that was the moment when those hours were the moments we thought of all the you all your best ideas like I should write a book I should go into the town and serve people I should do this I should do this I should do this I should do anything other than what I've been called to do and think about that's what a uh that's what a midli crisis is is like you know the the the beginning part of your career that's that excitement is already passed like dating a part of starting a family that excitement is passed you're not yet at the place of retirement where you get to just kind of like golden years and kind of like do all those it's that piece of like I'm just being called to stay here and keep going to keep one put put one foot in front of the other and and yeah it's AIA hits us from the smallest place to the biggest place so here's uh here's the road map for where we're going with this topic we we really want to unpack it so we're going to start for those taking notes and want to know the game plan we're going to start in our heart how do we actually do this how do we take this idea of reject passivity Embrace responsibility in our heart how do we how do we transform our heart through that then we're going to apply it so many of you are college students how do we do that on our campus in our dorm rooms with our friends how do we do that second in our Parish we have a lot of parishioners here and third place in our workplace uh how do we do that practically with our fellow employees so let's start how do we do this in our heart yeah to kick to kick it off father Mike I when you're talking about the Noonday devil and these this time is when you kind of get your best ideas if we if we're starting in our heart I think this is so applicable in our prayer lives right it's when you're sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament there's something inside of me that wants to be somewhere else I get this great idea of what I should be going and doing outside so for guys to embrace responsibility and for ladies to embrace trust if we're doing that in our hearts how does that start in prayer yes yeah no it's so good such good there's a great book I want to recommend right now it's by a woman named Colleen Carol Campbell is called the heart of perfection and the subtitle is how I left how I abandoned my idea of perfection and traded it in it for Gods so recommend it 100% um the heart of perfection colen Carl Campbell she describes she this this she said okay she is she's a she's a mom she's an author she's a speaker uh she's Catholic and she said you know one night I was given the opportunity to pray and my husband took the kids it was a situation where he just he made the space for me to be able to enter into prayer and I had all these amazing ideas about my next book and she said she said so instead of like having my prayer and just making the notes saying okay idea for book write it down come back to it she like she said she took the whole time and like was typing on her phone like all these ideas all these ideas all these ideas and she a she didn't pray and she stayed up way past when she wanted to stay up so the next morning she woke up and she was not only had this like didn't sleep hangover like kind of s like man I had the opportunity last night to go to bed early and I didn't I had the opportunity to pray last night and I didn't but I had this great idea for a book she looked at her notes and she's like this is garbage and that's the thing that's that's the key that's a St uh St uh Ignatius no the one who founded the Jesuits the one that's the guy and so aola talked about that when it came to Constellation and desolation right where it was how do I know if I'm not if I'm called to stay right here how do I know if I'm called to actually know you're supposed to move right now yeah and he said that you know in in when he read the lives of the glory stories of of Heroes of Valor it was fun at the moment like calling Carol C writing down these great new ideas but afterwards it was like empty when it came to reading the stories about Jesus in the Saints he was filled up in the moment but also it it lasted and I think that's one of the ways we have to discern this we have to learn how to discern in our hearts like okay God you calling me to move away from this moment or are you calling me to enter into this moment and just like right down that note so this is what I do when it comes to prayer that's when I get a lot of ideas and so I have my notebook and I'm like shoot that notebook is it's a great source of insight it's also an incredible distraction because I can take my entire and this is the thing like truly truly I can take my entire prayer time and just work on stuff yeah Y and say well no this is for the Lord you this is for the Lord as opposed to and I know this happens afterwards I'm like God I just wasted that time that was for you and I used it for something else and so the key thing I will do is I'll take that notebook and when I do it right this is when I do it right take the notebook I'll write down the thought and then put it down yep and that's the key thing is like cuz I'm like no you want you want me to be here there's nothing there there's some worse but there's nothing worse than getting done with a prayer time having been intentionally distracted yeah in realizing not only I will never get that time again m and I did it to myself amen you wanted me here and I wasn't I do that all the time father especially with gifts so Christmas time just passed so I think of the best gifts to get my children during prayer so I whip out my phone and go on Amazon and put it on the list it's just horrible that you know I I let myself get distracted intentionally and it's just at the end what was I doing you know and so but it is a I I I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that it's it is a Temptation it is real and we got to just keep fighting through that so I like your example and that's what a distraction is Right a distraction is anything that takes me away from what I should be focusing on yep so I think it's not a distraction if I'm supposed to be focusing on that so think about that in prayer like if if my in my prayer I've been moved to like really reflect on some aspect like that's not but I really wanted to pray about you know the Gospel of John that's not a distraction that's being called to that but a distraction is like you just described anything that takes my attention away where it's supposed to be yep in some of my busiest moments in life what I have to do is I have to take all those distractions and verbalize them and and yeah like mentally set them aside okay this part of my job I I hear it I acknowledge it I'm setting it over here you know this with my son I'm setting this over here this conversation I need to have with my wife I'm setting that down in order to really give myself permission to enter into that prayer that I acknowledge all these things and they're there and they're real sometimes I write them down sometimes I just have to acknowledge them before I can really enter into that prayer but I love that that's where we have to start Brock and and you brought it up and and that those are great tips that in order to embrace responsibility it has to start in prayer if we really want it to to get into our heart get into our mind to take action has to start in prayer let's transition well can I say one more thing I guess so soorry you know it's funny because um you mentioning just being alone I I I heard about the study that they took these men and women and separated them all and they had men go into a room by themselves just individually for 1 hour M and then women go into a room by themselves individually for one hour and then afterwards they asked them what did you think about for that hour and Men by and large after that one hour they thought about two things either sports or sex that was that was what they thought of yeah shocker sounds about right women what they thought about for 1 hour is what did you do they replayed conversations in their minds and it was one of those situations where the guy presenting that information said was a man and he said gentlemen or said ladies no Man In This Crowd has ever done that in the history of humanity like and women are like that's just what you do you have a brief moment well go back to that conversation well how did that conversation go what do you think what did you think about so the Temptation for distraction can be often times in prayer it's many things but maybe Ladies If you go think about this it could be yeah go back and relive conversations okay maybe that's not what God's calling me to do guys it might not be Sports and sex one of one of our missionaries said to me she said father I don't think it's Sports and sex for you I think for you it's um CrossFit and homes amen yep that's what it is whenever I'm by myself I thinking about a CrossFit or I'm thinking of about homes that's it so uh I thank you for adding that uh I'd love to know if that's uh resonating did with Thomas right away um I've never ever ever thought about replaying a conversation ever yeah um so that's you I've been trying to do it now it's just really hard it's really hard to have conversations sometimes with a man right let's let's take this to campus life so if if we want to now apply this we've we've taken it to prayer we're rejecting passivity embracing responsibility how do we do this as college students on a on a daily basis what does this look like well you know it's so it I think it starts with relationships I mean well sorry let me back up if you've been called to be a student then you are called to be a student yeah and that doesn't mean like well because I'm a student I can't pray because I'm a student I can't have relationships because I'm a student I can't be a good friend a lot of times I'll hear that right you hear people who will say like you know I really want to have a prayer life but my primary vocation is to be a student right now therefore da da da da da feeling the feeling that that that's not true that's that is kind of a I don't want to say a lie from Hell close but it's close close to that because what it is is is like wait a second when is you're always going to have a primary thing to do or primary kind of vocation in the sense of like well my primary vocation is to be a father therefore I can't pray like oh Father Thomas dubet was great priest back in the day I once I remember he had a book that was a uh a question answer like spiritual Direction book If You Ever Wanted you can't find a spiritual director but you need one here's his book and in it he had this guy say you know I'd love to be able to be uh I'd love to pray more but I'm a husband I'm a father and I just can't find the time yeah and father de Bay's respons was don't worry about it that's completely understandable it's totally okay if you want to be a mediocre husband don't pray it's fine if you want to be a mediocre father just don't make the time to pray don't worry about it no problem but if that's what you want to be then just go ahead and I think that when it comes down to students sometimes we say no my primary vocation is to be a student therefore I can't pray can't have deeper relationships can't lead a Bible study yeah and that's not the case because at some point in life you have to okay Embrace so would be maybe a a mantra that you would recommend if that's even the right idea with going back to when I was in college I was always thinking of of Tomorrow the future not living in the present how do you if you catch yourself doing that what would you say to to the young Thomas of just remind yourself be still know that I'm God like live in the moment like is there some practical thing that we can just as we catch ourselves not being present what what what to what's a habit we can develop is good question I think one thing is realizing that sometimes what's due tomorrow is the work of today yeah so sometimes we get that like I want to be here and now and present and like hey want to go to the party yes cuz I'm here looking right now in the moment CS Lewis talks about that he says actually to truly live in the moment will often times mean the work of this moment is for tomorrow is for next week and so it really I I believe with my whole heart that it involves knowing what your priority is like if I do I do I actually know what I do I have a vision do I have God's vision for my life in mind because I mean ultimately when it comes down to it we have a lot of tasks that we need to do but God is I think I believe this God is less concerned with the tasks we accomplish or the experiences that we live through and he's more concerned with who we become in the process and that's the number one thing is who I become in the process so okay at some moment I might need to put the work down and like have fun just relax because why because I'm becoming I'm becoming a person who's angry and resentful or maybe the kind of thing of like I'm laidback and chill and relaxed but I'm not doing what I should be doing and I need to be the kind of person who people can count on so how am I becoming that kind of person and that's the big thing I always come back to is sometimes a the work of the moment is getting ready for tomorrow or getting ready for next week you know B A lot of times I have to focus on ask myself the question what is the person I'm becoming at the what who's the person I want to be at the end of this story if this story ends next week we have people here who are at seek their story could end next week yeah sure on this in this life and the question is who do I want to be at the end of next week yeah I never got a chance to go to Fiji that doesn't matter anymore yeah who were you at the end of the story a lot of people here will live to their 80s or 90s maybe 100 that's that's wonderful but it doesn't matter who did you become but you mentioned Michelle yeah he's like what how was she 25 yeah something like that that sense of she 25 years old when she died and she didn't know it was coming right happened quickly but who did she become in the course of 25 years yeah that that's the most important part so I think that's the question that I ask so father we're right again we're talking this concept of reject passivity Embrace responsibility or for the ladies reject control and embrace trust and this we're talking about college students and there are hundreds of college students you're the chaplain at University of Minnesota delute there's a bunch of go Bulldogs there we go over here I want to touch on relationships father how can men live this to to embrace responsibility and for women to embrace trust in relationships on college campus you mean like dating relationships and I would even Rel I would even say begin with begin with any relationship like begin with friendships too so here's an example I just I was so moved by this I mentioned before we started recording that um I have a relative who recently retired from the military um and he was special ops for 25 26 years like the elite of the elite and at his retirement party people are telling stories about his life that I'm like whoa you did what for our country like you did what for the world incredible stories about like I mean like true they were like yeah your your relative is like a like a legit American hero like you're you're relative stuff they make movies out yes like they have he's a hero one of the stories they told was this guy who got up and said yeah when I first joined this group of people I was the new guy and he gets all choked up and he says I was I was going to get deployed with these guys but his father had died so he couldn't go and he said I finally you know did the did the funeral and everything I got back to where they where they were in the world and I he said I landed and got to the whatever the poster base was at 3:00 in the morning I'm the new guy none of these guys know me they don't care about me like I'm just I'm nobody and I land and I get to the post to the base whatever and there's a little note that says heyy um your barracks are wherever follow the green like glow sticks I looked up and I saw a glow stick and I walked to it saw no g walk to it I was like is this a prank what's going on here but he said I got to the barracks and sitting outside waiting for me at 3:00 in the morning was your relative and he he's like he didn't have to do that for me no one's ever done that I never expected anyone to do this for me but he just showed up I'm like in the midst of all these stories about what this man has done that like make movies about the one story this man told told was the time that your relative waited up for me till 3:00 in the morning because he wanted me to know that I'm part of the part of the team that's amazing so that kind of like relationship is like there's something so powerful about like do you show up yeah like do you are you there like are you the kind of person people can count on not just like when we're in battle but like you landed it's 3: in the morning no one expects you to be there yeah but you Embrace responsibility and say he's one of ours well that's the idea though that the Lord brings up the faithful in the little things yeah yeah and you're faithful in the big things shout out to all our active duty Ike everyone out there that's serving the country thank you for your service but I love that story I said that Rel that relationship kind of a thing you know so and that translates I mean he is an incredible husband to his wife because he does that for her too and that's what I'm saying is like so you're dating your friends like here's a question we could ask just of ourselves right now do your friends know they can count on you yeah or your friends are like no they they're for a good time or or you can think of the people in your life that you can count on as well and that's that's a pretty quick examination of conscience of who is in your life that when you think okay who are the people I'm hanging out with right now and who can I count on I mean the number is pretty small we all know we all know the flakes right the people that don't show up yeah okay I want to talk about the parish so we're at seek 24 there's 20,000 people here but 2,000 of those folks are parish and every single college student here is going to be in a parish one day y so for men to embrace responsibility for women to embrace trust in my role in Focus I work with parishes and I many parishes rest on the shoulders of amazing women who are doing all this work and I don't want to Discount that but how can men Embrace responsibility and how can women Embrace trust in Parish life yeah so good you know I I think was it Matthew Kelly who did a a a a survey that he discovered that 6% of all the work all the funding and all of the ministry that's done in a parish all the mar 6% of people Matthew Kelly and it was just amazing and to realize he he says what if he didn't just double that what if he didn't just have 25 what if you had 1% 1% like that's amazing so what if the men here men were ever listening were to say that'll be the 1% what does it look like well I think it looks like I have a brother-in-law who he's he was a stay-at home dad for a really long time now he owns a brewery really cool what a life what a life yeah this is a dream job so at one point they moved to my hometown um he went up to the priest and the priest is awesome my brother-in-law is awesome and he said father I'm a st- at home Dad my last child is in school now I have a lot of free time what do you need and he texted me cuz he's like hey father hasn't gotten back to me it's been 3 weeks he hasn't gotten back to me and I was like wait a second I know this priest and I know this priest is a really good like he has he's is just a good worker he has Vision I'm like I think you're the first person to ever ask him that question W I legitimately think speechless he just was like I don't know what would I do if I had this guy spam call reject came forward and said I'll do whatever it is you need and so what happened was gave me a little more time and father contacted my brother-in-law and was like okay this is what I need you do this and it was one of those situations where it was like just ask your priest he won't have an answer this is the reality if any of the guys listening to this went to their Pastor tomorrow or this week and said father I'm available on Tuesdays what do you need I almost guarantee you none of them will have an answer yeah but to go back to him again and say hey I just want to remind you available on Tuesdays what do you need yeah um that's going to be the one of the first steps and be and be willing to do what he asked cuz he may ask you to do something that's not very glorious right you're kind of like oh I'm not as excited to do that but I think to have that mentality of hey I'm I'm willing to go pick up the sponge or it started with hey you have a truck can you help us haul this stuff yeah sure no problem and and then it was like you know can you be in charge of the fish fry like yeah and then it was like okay now when he got a hold of that he's like oh the fish fry is not good enough yeah we need to have a fish fry like that's amazing I have a brewery we're we're going to have beer batter you know we're going to have this whole thing but it started with can you haul stuff in your truck so I I love the humility and the the true responsibility that comes out of the question of Father what can I do for you because I I know a lot of us and I've done it father that I've I've gone to a priest and I said look I've been a focused missionary for 14 years I know how to lead Bible studies I know how to disciple so here's what I'm going to do and your Parish father I am going to I'm going to light this up and that's not the right approach right the right approach is to say father what can I do for you and that might start with hauling stuff in your truck and it'll be super tempting I think for everyone listening who's been through the making missionary disciples track which is awesome how to Le a Bible study how to give a testimony how to reach Souls it'll be tempting for us to go to our Parish priest and say I have the answer right yeah yeah and that's not the responsible approach as is what I'm hearing the responsible approach is saying father here's who I am yeah here's where I've been but how can I serve you best yeah I love that approach I have a question so so take what you just said all of you I love it analogy at home I come home and I try to say to my wife what can I do and there's times when she's like can you just look there's there's clearly things to do and I'm like okay that's really can you just look that I don't want to do the wrong thing you're going be like you should this so so at what point do we have some inititive at least not say I'm gonna do this but bring suggestions like is that something is that helpful to a priest that would be totally helpful I mean because I I the best my best ideas are someone else's like completely every time like when I have like I mentioned we have our missionaries come to me and say hey father we need I noticed this like oh thank you for noticing that what should we do yeah I I think that I think that again it's not reject festivity Embrace control yeah right it's that Embrace responsibility that sense of like if your wife responds to saying honey um I'm here what can I doz I've I've been gone all day what can I do and she has a list great she doesn't like okay I know what she normally asked me to do laundry right right the small thing there is a uh a this young man he graduated from UMD and uh he was getting married and so one like Friday Saturday night before he got married like a couple weeks before he invited a bunch of his married friends and me out to this bar to like give him last minute advice I'm like okay you know the priest last minut advice for marriage and at one point uh one of these young married men maybe married maybe 5 10 years he said you know what I do he said every night I notice that my wife will get herself a glass of ice water and so I just noticed that and so I just started getting her a glass of ice water dang that's good she she didn't ask me for it but I just noticed I know that every night she gets a glass of ice water so I can get her a glass do it yeah I don't she doesn't have to ask me CU I knows that she I know that she likes that and so he I just started doing that and that's I think part of that embracing respons I mean imagine how many parishes how many campuses how many relationships if a man just looks up and starts noticing a little bit now that's a big thing because that's a step out of our you guys there you know floorboards or what do they call those like that baseboards I moved into the Newman house 19 years ago and there was no baseboard around one wall and then another little piece of the wall it's 19 years later there is still no baseb I'm like oh yeah that thing that missing I just walk past it every day right so sometimes you know we need other people to point did you guys hear that the Bulldog's out there he needs B come onas go some so basically don't just think about sports and sex think about hey what are some what can I notice be attentive and I I think that's so powerful because it's I now after 11 years of marriage realize I need to change the laundry out cuz my wife was doing something else and forgot let me do that or let's fold the laundry kids and and start doing things and sometimes we're slow as men yeah but that's okay we can just not give up likeor said right also iterate right because a lot of times what happens is a guy tries I'm trying to take responsibility for this like you're doing it wrong okay fine I give up like wait wait wait yeah that's hold on a that's really good how would you like me to do it differently yeah is that that that sense of like rather than just being like well forget this then y one thing might I I know you need to wrap it up but I just want to I we're just getting started I don't know where it was I think with Father Josh I mentioned that my parents had a spiritual gift of being able to make argument out of nothing but one of the things that I just was is so uh powerful is I remember watching my parents you know we can get lessons from our family positively and negatively my mom would say this okay U my dad Peter go out with all the kids and do this to the lawn I want you guys to landscape da da da da we do it we get done she come out and say no no no this is all wrong this this this this this and then she go back in and we try to fix it fix it she come back out like this is all wrong I'm like okay at what point do my mom and dad say let's stop and my dad says Hey goodie come outside and do this with us so that we get to do it one time yeah but I think there's something piece about that communication that iterating and being willing to be corrected and not give up I'm really good at saying whatever that's my Temptation like then do it I so I love this idea of of embracing responsibility particularly in the parish and the family and if if any of the college students who are listening maybe get daunted by that reality I want to connect it to something you said earlier when we were talking about the college students because if you're anything like me hearing the ideal can be intimidating I'm like wow there's a lot inside of me that is not up to the ideal that is just been explained but that idea of being somebody that can be dependent on is something that everybody who is listening today can take a step towards and to be confident that's actually going to help you be the kind of husband and father that you want like you said at the end of the St St a week from now 5 years from now whenever God's calling you into that and so I just I wanted to share that before we transition and our heart actually desires that I believe we all want to be the friend that our friends can count on right we actually do want that in our hearts um I had one more quick thing about the the parish and then I want to end with our fourth Point looking at the workplace I think so what I don't want to do is Discount that that our heart's desire to lead a Bible study disciple reach out in the parish is is not good and we should just set that aside what I do want to say is sometimes if we go to a pastor and our Parish priest and say hey I've got these plans I want to do all this it could overwhelm them but if we Haul the stuff in the truck if we do the fish try the fish fry he's going to sit back and say now what is it you were interested in doing and then that it could lead to that and so that's a great point you have to demonstrate that you can be trusted yeah I mean you think about here's a here's a priest who may have been in a parish or many parishes for many many years and he's seen people with great ideas show up and then they do that idea follow or or they show up and they start doing it and then they get bored with it and back off at some point you have to trust has to be built on both sides you know so yeah so I find the workplace maybe one of the harder places uh to evangelize and I well I work at Focus so I I don't have to really hard place to Evangel I can see that that's because we're doing the evangelizing my go well you have a lot of work to do in um imagine imagine talking and there's a lot of people here who either currently work in a completely secular faithless industry or they will they're about to graduate and step into that how does this look how do we reject passivity Embrace responsibility reject control Embrace trust as men and women in the workplace when it it is not set up for that kind of activity how do we practically jump into that I I think there's something really powerful about competence I mean in all domains of life but particularly in the workplace that that that notion of like again when someone can be counted on doesn't just mean that uh well and at the very basic it means they did what they said they were going to do yeah and that sense of like because that's why it starts with the heart like um to be able to have I mean self-confidence should come from the ability to keep one's promises to oneself like that should be the Baseline of self-confidence I shouldn't have self-confidence if I can't keep the promises I make to myself I mean it just make but then when it comes to other people they have confidence in me because I I did what I said I was going to do yeah and so at the most basic level in the workplace I think a lot of times people would look at a Catholic in the workplace who like really lives their faith out and they would say all they could say is he's really good or she's really good like that's that's if they don't know anything else that's what they're going to say it's just like huh they know what they're they might not even like us like because you know temperaments to personalities don't always driive but it would be that but no but she's she knows what she's doing or he knows what he's doing and there's something about that that just is the initial witness that we can give that uh it's that's a first step just what do you think about taking that another layer that's amazing and I love that and I think the competence thing it's a good challenge for me too like am I actually doing what I think I should be doing and having that self-confidence but then that reality was you look into the workplace or even the neighborhood that you live in and just having that love that desire for those in your circle your neighbors your your fellow citizens your your fellow workers and just how can I help even if it's not a direct evangelization where I'm preaching Christ if I can't quite do that yet how do I just Elevate the culture how do I just make it a more dignified Place how do I just make it a more honest place and I think I don't know what you think to that but that could be just a wonderful place to embrace responsibility just to take it up even on a natural level to make the place of something that's more true good and beautiful well I think what you're say so any Hickman if you know any yep um any Hickman is is uh I remember years ago he said this he said you know what I think when Jesus told us to love our neighbor he actually meant our neighbor like he meant the person who lives next door person who works in the office or the cubicle next door to us he's like if I'm constantly like oh my neighbor's out there somewhere like no the person next so he he had this thing I think he called it the 10- foot rule and that 10- foot rule is how am I how well am I loving the people within the 10ft radius of me like legitimately the people in front of me people next to me and so when it comes to work it's like well they don't have to be my best friends they don't have to be necessarily the target of my evangelization how well am I loving them because Jesus commanded me to love my neighbor and right now that's who they are that's who the my neighbor is yeah think elevation like like that yep I love it and and that's the idea of embracing this responsibility and not just living kind of passively like who who's this neighbor they're out there somewhere or they walk by it's it's actually taking a a intentional approach to it you're taking responsibility over your intentionality being attentive maybe maybe they're struggling their marriage Maybe kick and just even those little things like your relative that had the green he was sitting there at 3 in the morning like how are we doing stuff like that little ways and then those big moments will come where we can I would think bring in Christ yeah when we've been when we've been faithful in those little moments the big moments become easier there was an article a long time ago about how you can measure a culture by how many shopping carts in a in a grocery store parking lot are are put back where they go I think that that's that's a very simple little way like put your shopping cart back that's it doesn't take any effort really just put your shopping cart back and you're starting to take a step of embracing responsibility elevating the culture around you well you know it's funny because you mentioned the little things I know that for myself I all often pull off on the expressway or whatever and there's a person with the cardboard sign that needs help and I'm like oh what do I do what do I do like okay that's that is a good question it's a real question but do I also with my people I work with mhm like if if they're not if they're if I know that they're sick or I know their kid is sick or whatever the thing is do I have the same like what do I do do I even ask say this I even ask the question wow God do you want me to do anything here and it could just that that could be the most simple like you mentioned like sometimes intimidating overwhelming like it could be just like I ask about the cardboard box like oh what God what do you want me to do then maybe when it comes to my work the cooworker oh they're having a bad day I'm going to leave them alone that's what we typically do God do you maybe maybe it is maybe God's like no just give him some space also could be like God what do you want me to do but that's the responsibility I love that question God how do you want me to in live responsibility in this moment engage in this moment what's our Temptation disengage dis not my problem too long men I think we've disengaged from society from the neighborhood from whatever you know and I think father thank you for bringing this topic to us that line and for revisiting with us cuz it's just such a it's going to make a big difference take the the 8% the Matthew add one or two more percent if we just do a little bit more then we all do it it's going to Ripple through Society I think it's amazing again we are live here at se24 we're the man Catholic podcast all one word thank you for joining us father Mike what a blessing to have you guys God bless all of you and check us out uh wherever you find your podcasts that's it for today God bless we hope you enjoyed this podcast for more info on the seek conference visit seek. focus.org this episode of the seek 24 podcast was produced by spok Street for more great podcasts visit spok street.com

Channel: FOCUS Catholic

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Id: MNEMsOGzphw

Length: 41min 49sec (2509 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 07 2024