The God of our Brokenness - Fr. Mike Schmitz

thank you very much okay okay so I'll know how well I do if you don't do that at the end um I just thank you all thank you John for that introduction is amazing um a couple of things as we get started gosh uh well he mentioned just you know there's a lot of stuff going on and wow I don't even know where to start I just completely lost my train of thought because that was really nice and you guys are super nice um so there's the Bible okay I want to say that and then there's a bunch of people here I'm nervous and there's that's actually part of what I wanted to lead off with I'm just so um honored to be here one of the reasons well gosh I would say this maybe the reason why I'm here is uh because of John Hale and corporate travel and I um sometimes people like welcome you went to that thing instead of coming to my thing I'm like because you're not John that's why I don't know I don't know what to say other than that I apologize for that but um I'm so grateful for corporate travel and so I I'm not joking about kind of being a little bit nervous um because well first of all I don't know how many of you feel like this maybe in the last day or so since you got here my guess is that some of the sense in the room is like you look around you're like wow all these people seem like super Catholics um and like there's so many some people like they seem like they know what they're doing some of them are in habits you know like they are super Catholics um but they all seem to know what they're again and I don't know if you felt like like I don't belong here that is really really easy to feel like especially in a in a room like this of incredible people with like these incredible talks and great speakers and great worship and all these things it's really really easy to feel like you don't belong or like you don't matter and I just we have to say right away that that that's that's a lie and you are supposed to be here you are supposed to be here um so it's just so if that's if that's come against your heart just please know that you have you're you have to be you have to be here no you matter and it's it's real important that you're here um that doesn't mean that I'm less intimidated um by all y'all and so I was in Texas last week and I got to say and I got to say all y'all and when I say y'all in Minnesota everyone's like I'm like no it's the bosotros form of English let me go Texas um but but there is there's a real real sense of just just want to honor you all because I know that it cost you all a lot to be here just like in time sacrifice of what you could be doing and so I just want to again honor that some people have asked two things they said you have to do this no matter what um one is you have to remind people that at the end of this um if you have any religious objects we'll bless them here from the stage um and they ask me to do that so I'm not like somebody wants anything to be blessed just come forward I don't they told me to tell you that so if you want anything blessed at the end we'll just kind of do a general blessing General blessing and um the other thing they said before you say anything could you please uh give an update on your mom so if you don't know uh oh you have a mother yes um uh so if you don't know in 2020 uh April or so of 2020 my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and thankfully they caught it relatively quickly and so she went through chemotherapy and it was really really rough on her they had surgery and went really really well and for six months she was just cancer-free it was awesome and then it came back after what six months and so she had about a six to nine month round of chemo again and instead they couldn't do surgery and so um she doesn't mind me telling you because she's like listen all these people write to me and they tell me they're praying for me because you talk about me I'm like okay Mom she says she says keep talking about me keep the prayers coming so so uh she had another round of chemo but they couldn't do surgery so that it did radiation it didn't help at all in fact the her markers went up the nodes got larger um and so it was kind of a decision of would you just cease treatment or would she um pursue um the chemo because the second round of chemo didn't have as bad side effects and so she's been back on chemotherapy and um her markers are going going down which is awesome um some of the nodes didn't even show up on the last scan she had because that's really really good but the the biggest thing think the biggest thing is is just you know it's so interesting how sometimes when tragedy happens when we actually get affected by anything life um sickness just accidents sometimes the question we can ask is why me and that's that's that makes sense John Paul II in uh one of his encyclicals on human suffering he highlighted this uh if unless he didn't anyways I'm just misrememorring but someone once highlighted this that that all all creatures all all animals um can feel pain but only human beings can suffer and we suffer in a unique way because we can ask why all animals can feel pain but only human beings can ask why why is this happening to me one of the things that that struck my mom and just I want to share this with you um is that when she was going through this and she got better well you know if you've experienced cancer you kind of have a cohort of friends you have a cohort of people who walk with you who are also experiencing cancer and and almost every one of her friends died it's my mom's question was not why me her question was why not me and she just kept coming back to that and asking the Lord like what is it why am I still alive like what do you want me to do you know John of the cross sorry Saint John of the cross I don't want to strip him of his title Saint John of the cross at one point he said at the Twilight of our lives like at the end of our Lives we will be judged but he said this in the Twilight of Our Lives we will be judged on Love Alone at the end of our Lives when we see the Lord we'll be judged we judge on Love Alone and I've been thinking about that a lot lately because um I think I think a lot of us we hear that and we're like yes that's what I want I want I want to be someone who loves I want to be someone who loves well I want to be someone who loves uh the people around me who need love I want to be this kind of had a person who can love God I think every single one of us we want that so our problem isn't that we don't want to love I think a lot of our problems is that we can't not because not just because we have small Hearts not just because we have broken hearts but I think that most of us in our hearts are just as in any room I think for a lot of us in our lives there just isn't any room I think a lot of us um this is the start of the talk by the way so just I don't know if you noticed probably didn't because it was super seamless but now you know that at the end of our Lives we're judged on love alone and I don't love the way I'm supposed to do that I don't even love the way I want to because I can't because why because my life is too full it's just and it's not even necessarily full of horrible things not even necessarily full of bad things it's not even full of things that shouldn't be there it's just so full we're all in such a hurry how many of us are not in a hurry always constantly just I need to get from here to there and there to there and there to there and constantly this is this sense of I need to go on to the next thing and there's really such a thing as too much of a good thing so I love I I love soy sauce so much you guys it's just I I I say I love sushi I don't love sushi I love soy sauce it's like I don't like french fries french fries are a vehicle to get ketchup inside of me that's that's the thing and so I love soy sauce but so here's how I here's how you know that I don't love sushi I buy grocery store sushi like oh yeah it's never been a problem it's never been a problem um put it at the grocery store that I where I get my Sushi um they recently got new soy sauce packets and the soy sauce packets are are like full of soy sauce actually in fact they're Fuller of soy sauce than the previous soy sauce packets and I thought this is awesome these are so full but the problem was when I tried to open it up it explode everywhere I'm like oh it's twofold and then I thought this will preach down in Phoenix because there's such a thing as having too much of a good thing in our lives because I mean if you just were even to stop and for a moment and say like what is there in my life that's preventing me from being able to love it's because I just don't have any time I don't have time to love the people who I know deserve my love I know that they deserve my attention I know that they deserve my heart even not to mention the Lord himself he deserves everything he deserves the best of me and I don't it's not that I don't not willing to give it to him I just can't because I'm in too much of a hurry my life is too full and I just don't have the time I remember reading about John Paul that Saint John Paul II and you know the people that he even knew back in Poland even after he became the Holy Father people he knew back in Poland he would they would say after after he passed away after he died they would say you know what John Paul II he always had time for us and I just I remember thinking oh man I love that and I do not I do not understand that um they would say yeah John Paul the pope always had time for us I'm like how in the world is that even possible because I don't know what a person does that you know because so let's I don't know you guys might be familiar with the Bible so we're going to open up the Bible and we're gonna go to the beginning because it's been a long time since January 1st and so you know that you know that when when um God created the world in Genesis chapter one every day what did it say that every day at the end of the day God looked at all he looked at what he made and he said that it was good right and at the end of the the fullness of creation sixth day what was it it was you guys did pay attention you guys are the best this is so good I just discovered this and so if there's any Bible scholars here and I know there are um did you know that the word the Hebrew and Greek word that's used here in Genesis chapter one when God looked at what he had made and said this is this is good is the exact same word for Hebrew and Greek for beautiful the guy looked at what he made and said it is beautiful I looked at the fullness of what he made and said it is very beautiful that all of this creation all the this world that God has made is so good and you're part of that so here is God not merely declaring over this creation he had made and saying it is good but God looking at you saying it is good God looking at you and saying it is beautiful just to be able to sit with that and to recognize what the Lord God himself has declared over you she's beautiful he is beautiful this world they made is beautiful and reveals himself of course we always say this you know the end of chapter two is amazing here's the man of the woman in the garden what does it say it says and the man and his wife were both naked yet they felt no shame it's just this whole the whole situation the whole scenario the whole picture this whole world is so good it is so beautiful and if that was the end of the Bible it would be a really really short book it had been a short year but also it would have been a lot more fun but what happens is chapter three happens when chapter three happens now the serpent was the most cunning of all the animals the Lord God had made and the serpent what does the serpent do we all know this story goes up to the woman temperature she falls and here is the crazy thing passes the food to her husband they both ate it their eyes were open they realized they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together to make loin claws for themselves and then here's the moment this is the moment that I think is worth praying about I know this is remedial I know this is review for everyone here but I think it's so important that we need to recover it over again it says then when they heard the sound of the Lord God moving about in the garden at the Breezy time of the day the man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God Among the trees in the garden those people who had been beautiful and could stand unashamed not only in front of each other but could stand unafraid before the Lord God himself they heard him coming and they hid themselves of course the next line is so the Lord God said where are you now we know this we know that that God because God didn't know like what the heck where'd they go really oh really God's like wait a second those people I put them somewhere I just I know no no no no no no no don't tell me don't tell me I know we know that God is asking where are you because he wants to give the man and woman he wants to give them a chance to come to him this is one of the things that he's just like us when we find ourselves good but broken because that's how they found themselves in this moment good but broken when we find ourselves beautiful but broken God wants to give us the chance to freely step out of the Shadows he wants to give us the chance to freely step out of hiding and reveal ourselves and what does the man say he says I was afraid because I was naked so I hid myself and again this is I'm so sorry that this is review but then God says this who told you that you were naked you have eaten then from the fruit of the tree of which I forbidden you to eat and I've said this before I'm going to say it again how we hear those words will tell us everything we need to know about our vision of God who told you that you were naked you have eaten then of the tree of which I'd forbidden you to eat how do you hear those words when you read them I think most of us I mean maybe not all of us but I think I know for myself for so long in my life how here here's how I heard God saying these words who told you you were naked I'm so freaking who you've eaten then of the fruit of the tree I forbid you to eat like I am so mad I'm just gonna rip up a tree I'm gonna cause volcanoes I just I can't stand the sight of you and I'm afraid that too many of us that's the voice we hear I don't believe that's how God spoke and I'm going to share with you why in a second I think God's voice revealed that when Adam said I was afraid when I heard you coming I think you could hear God's voice the sound of his heartbreaking who who told you you're naked and this knowledge of you have eaten then of the tree I'd forbidden you to eat why would God's heart be breaking because he knows he knows that from now on things are different he knows that from now on things are going to be difficult he knows that here's this incredible beautiful world that God had made and now he made he made Adam and Eve for what he made them for love and now from this moment on that's all changed no they're still made for love but from now on their experience is going to be different so what happens talk to the serpent that's a whole other thing we don't need to go into it right now but he talks to the woman and here's the interesting thing when it comes talks to the woman and to the man sometimes we think that these are the curses I do not believe that these are the curses that God gives to the woman and to the man these are the remedies that God offers to the woman and to the man here's the first remedy he talks to the woman and he says this he says okay so from now on you're going to experience pain and childbirth and ladies are like that's a remedy go on father it's remedy because here's what's going to here's God saying okay to the women here's gonna happen when you give birth you're going to bring this new life into the world and you're going to love that new life more than you ever dreamed it was possible to love a life and it's gonna hurt you're going to love this being more than you've ever loved anything and it's going to cost you but it has to because in this world that is beautiful but broken you have to realize you have to know you have to learn that love from now on love always involves sacrifice that's it that's it here's this world that's good but broken hears this world that's beautiful but broken and in this world now we're human beings we're still made for love we're beautiful but broken we're good but broken and we're still made to be like God we're still made to act like him in this world to be a reflection of his love in this world and yet in a broken world love always involves sacrifice that's why he says to the man right he says crispy the ground because of you and toil you should eat its yield all the days of your life thorns and thistles shall it bring forth for you as you eat the plants of the field by the sweat of your brow and you're going to get into your crappy car and you're gonna have your crappy commute to your crappy job and your crappy cubicle and you're gonna have to do that because you need to feed your family and that's the point I was paraphrasing a little I mean this is the message version of the Bible I think but there's this this piece right here that is good because why man you have to learn you have to learn that love from now on will involve sacrifice there was a moment when that serpent approached your bride and you weren't willing to stand in the way there was a moment when the serpent approached the bride and you weren't willing to lay down your life there was a moment when sacrifice could have changed everything but you weren't willing to do it but you're still made for love you are still made for love and you can't escape the fact that your vocation is to love your your destiny the reason why you exist is to love I think it's remarkable because one of the very next things that happens is God demonstrating this so in verse 21 of chapter three it says as God is following Adam and Eve out of the garden that's I don't know if you've ever noticed that he puts the angel guarding the Tree of Life but God follows Adam and Eve Into the Wilderness he doesn't stay secluded in Eden in Paradise he goes with them into the Wilderness and in verse 21 it says this it says for the man and his wife the Lord God made leather garments with which he clothed them question how do you get leather garments you have to kill something something has to die and God's revealing this from now on love involves sacrifice basically here we are in this world that is still beautiful but broken here you are beautiful but broken we realize if I'm gonna love it's going to cost down I mentioned I I'd share this with with some people in the past and I got an email from a young woman who was like but do I have to like because her experience was like no love should just be free love should be easy love should be I should only give what I want to give and I understand that let me rephrase and I understand that lie but think about this at the end of our Lives we will be judged on Love Alone and how often do I not love because I just don't have the time even taking the time to love someone involves cost involves sacrifice I can't do what I want to do because this person deserves my love I can't do what I want to do because this person needs my love from now on love is actually just going to cost and the crazy thing the remarkable thing the Christian part of the Christian message is what is that to love us it's even going to cost God himself I don't know if you've ever if you've ever prayed about that River just sat with that for a while I know for us you know if we're going to love God it costs something you know it costs us again our time it costs us our treasure costs our talent whatever those things are it costs us something but you realize that to love us it costs God something to love you it costs God something but it's something he's at but it's a price he wants to pay we know in John's gospel after pilate has Jesus scourged John recounts this moment where his Pilot brought him out before the crowd again he's been flogged he's wearing a crown of thorns is a purple robe and pilate utters these words that are just so profound he doesn't even realize what he's saying and he says the words in Latin eche homo or behold the man and In This Moment we have to ask the question what do we see when we behold Jesus scourged hold Jesus behold Jesus Crown of Thorns behold Jesus with his brow marked by sweat amid thorns and thistles what do we see you think Paul writing to the second Corinthians chapter four he says that the glory of God is revealed in the face of Jesus Christ the glory of God is revealed in the face of Jesus Christ but which face I I have the sense that the glory of God the beauty of God the power of God the awesomeness of God is revealed in the beaten humiliated crowned with thorns face of Jesus why because remember what Saint Paul wrote to the Romans chapter 5. or Saint Paul he makes it very clear he says you know for a good person maybe someone would find the courage to die for a good person sidebar none of us are good we have all gone astray like sheep every one of us following our own way every one of us creating Idols for ourselves every one of us saying no no I'm going to be the god of my own life St Paul says but for a good person you maybe you'd find someone who had the courage to die but he says these lines he writes these lines and he says but God proves his love for us and that while we were still sinners Christ died for us if we want to see what love looks like if we want to see what love costs God proves his love for us not simply by healing not simply by teaching not simply by preaching but by allowing himself to be overwhelmed by death why because Loving You costs that much do you realize Loving You costs that much no I I can hear that and like I don't I'd rather no Jesus I'm from Minnesota we're like oh no no no no no no no no no no no thanks no thanks you know in Minnesota if you if you ever want to give something to Minnesota and you have to offer at least three times we are trained in Minnesota to say no somebody he wanted something to drink no no I'm good no no seriously I'm getting something to drink no I'm fine I'm getting something right now okay fine how much more when the Lord God himself says will you give me permission to love you in your Brokenness yeah I'm good what it'll cost it'll cost my everything it'll cost my entire life why would anyone ever reject that kind of love because too much it's too much but it's this is there's no more powerful Witness but it's this kind of powerful witness that we need why because we live in a world that's beautiful but broken if we we need this kind of witness because there's nothing else that testifies to the goodness of God the beauty of God the power of God then the fact that the face of God has been marred by his own sweat a broken nose a gash in his cheek a spear in his side there's a priest in our diocese his name's father Ben father Ben I met father Ben when he was like 17 18 years old and uh and I think I was a deacon and and father Ben was he just man this kid was like 120 miles an hour this guy was on fire he was a runner draft lead and uh he's on his way to college and he was like yeah father Mike or Deacon Mike at the time he's like dick he called me dick um Deke so like yeah I'm gonna get to this Catholic School in our diocese and I'm gonna make it Catholic I'm gonna like turn that place around like okay 18 year olds go for it Ben you know he went to this school and it was funny because all four years first he was raw and he was really like oh don't do it like that and then he like actually made some changes he's made friends with the administration even all these people he was Button heads against then he went into the Seminary and and Ben was just an incredible seminarian incredible priest I remember when he first got ordained it was just one of those remarkable things of just here's this man who is not only in love with the Lord he is on fire for evangelization he sees us every pair she went into he's just like how do we bring as many people to Jesus as possible and also as I said he was a runner he would his goal was to run Grandma's Marathon from me from when he was 17 years old when he first ran his first Grandma's Marathon until the end of his life he said I want to be one of those people that runs Grandma's Marathon every single summer and he did he was 31 years old it was a Saturday and that Saturday morning he had competed and won a triathlon in the town where he was a pastor International Falls Minnesota and he's driving away from the race back to his rectory and he didn't feel well and so he drove himself to the hospital and that's when father Ben had his first stroke at the age of 31. he was in the hospital for months he re-taught himself how to read by reading the Bible every day another brother priest father Rich would do all of his Priestly duties in his parish and then go down to Father Ben's hospital room and celebrate Mass with Father Ben just helping him out father Ben like battled back incredible incredible guy battleback became Pastor again International Falls after all this rehab and just like be I mean he kind of missed a step you know a little slower a little but just like same Zeal same fire same just father Ben just after it saying I want to bring as many people to Jesus as possible and then about two years ago father Ben had another stroke that was absolutely debilitating in the last last two years brother Ben has struggled to learn how to walk again he can he has no feeling in his left arm every time I see him he's like father Mike I'm on day 302. but he also reminds me that he's all he's not only doing Bible in here he's doing Bible in half a year so he does the Bible in the air podcast if then he does his own reading plan where he reads a Bible in half a year because he can't get enough scripture in this man who needs help to get dressed this man who needs help to take a shower this man who needs helped to be a priest wants nothing more in his life than to be a priest we have two men get ordained this this past summer and one of these men's massive Thanksgiving a brother of ours got up and he said father Daniel is Father Daniel's first mass and he said he said I wish that father Mike and father Ben were here at this Mass because I'm going to talk about both of them and I want you to know that I love both of them that father Mike and father Ben are both my brothers but he turned to this young man who just been ordained and he said but father Daniel father Mike is not the image of priesthood that you want to model after he said we're glad he's in our diocese and I love him very much but that's not the image of priesthood you should model your life after father Ben that's the image of priesthood you should model your life after and I wholeheartedly agree we realize we realize that the moment that most fully reveals God's goodness and his power and his love for us is not when Jesus was healing as many people as came to him was not the moment when Jesus was transfigured on the mount mount of transfiguration the moment God Reveals His power and His glory and his love for us is the moment when he is absolutely weakest and he still says for you I would do it for you a thousand times over but are we willing to stop and look at that the face of Jesus are we willing to behold the man like truly to truly behold his gaze because that can't be hurried sister Wendy is uh she was a she was a hermit she was a nun and she passed away not too long ago but she was an art critic art historian Art Expert and I was listening to an interview that she was giving to uh Bill Moyers back in the day and uh she said when she goes to a museum he says how many art pieces do you look at every time you go to the go to the museum and she said oh no I look at maybe one or two he says but there's a whole museum full of art she says yeah but you can only take in one or two at a time that it can't be hurried love can't be hurried to Behold The Gaze of Jesus it can't be hurried but it has to happen there's a young woman named Jane Jane was raised in a Christian home and she when she graduated high school she went to Christian School and uh she was a singer she loves singing she's encouraged by by uh her The Faculty on on campus to to try out for all the different singing groups and she did and she didn't make any of them but they just kept encouraging her that you're good but just you'd get better and uh so she just sang around campus off campus and she grew up in Ohio but she had gone to Virginia for for school she kind of developed this kind of fall small uh following in Virginia in the area she cut a couple albums and uh it was had some reasonable success they're just as a professional singer after doing that for a couple years she moved back to Ohio just to kind of like regroup and just kind of get off the road and kind of not live that life for a little bit once you got off the road uh back in Ohio she met a man and he was a musician as well they fell in love they got married to each other and um Jane said that you know kind of an artist's way she said I want to be a truth teller I want to be a hope holder I want to be a strength sharer that sounds very poetic right very much like a song writer um I'm gonna be a truth teller hope holder a strength Sharer Gene wanted to be a star did she wanted she wanted people to be able to see her and as a Christian she said I want people to be able to see me and be like oh my gosh how amazing is God I want people to be able to see me and hear my voice and say oh my gosh how amazing is God and then she developed a stage three breast cancer she went through all the chemo kind of just like my mom and after a year she was declared cancer free I get back to life now was the thought but a month or three later they found the cancer had come back but not just breast cancer also on her spine and her lungs and doctors gave her a two percent chance of living Jane as a unique young woman she said okay two percent is not a lot but it's more than zero percent a couple days after this her husband of five years left her here's Jane Cancer all over her body abandoned I heard about uh experimental treatment out in California so she said why not try it and she went out to California and uh what'd she say she said after the doctor told me I was dying and after the man I married said he didn't love me anymore I chased a miracle in California and 16 weeks 16 weeks later I got it cancer is gone but when my brain caught up with it all something broke she said I later found out that all the tragedy at once had caused a physical head trauma my brain was now sending false signals of excruciating pain and panic so she goes on to say I spent three months propped against the wall a night said I could not sleep I laid in the tub like an insect staring at my reflection in the shower knob I vomited until I was Hollow I rolled up under my robe on the tile the bathroom floor became my place to hide where I could scream and be ugly where I could sob and spit and eventually doze off happy to be asleep even if my with my head on the toilet to behold the face of Jesus is not a romanticized face of Jesus it's like to truly behold the face of Jesus means that we actually look at the ugliness look at the Brokenness to truly behold the face of Jesus means we have to look at a cradle that was in a cave to behold the face of Jesus means we have to look at the body that was on a cross I think Carl Jung once said that one of the problems with modern man what the reason modern man can't see God is because he won't look low enough because where where does God go he goes to the pain he goes to the lowest spot I mean from the very beginning as all the way to the very end the very beginning what does Jesus do he goes when he becomes incarnate and he's given Mary gives birth on Christmas he's giving birth she's giving birth in a cave when Jesus makes his public appearance where does he make his public appearance at the Jordan River you know the Jordan River that Dead Sea right right north of the Dead Sea that is literally the lowest spot on the face of the Earth the Jesus after he's crucified he's put down back into a cave and what does he do for three days after he dies he descends to the Abode of the Dead there is no depth to which our God is not willing to go because apparently Love Now costs something and apparently God says that you're worth that cost what is the Gaze of Jesus look like just to pause for a second what would it be like to look at the eyes of Jesus there is nothing that the eyes of Jesus have not seen I know this is true for me in my shame I want to hide in my Brokenness I want to hide in in I was naked I was afraid because I was naked so I hid myself but when we look at the eyes of Jesus there is nothing the eyes of Jesus haven't seen there's nowhere he hasn't looked in fact the Incarnation says what there's no darkness that God has not entered into the darkness of the cave in Bethlehem the darkness of the cave in Jerusalem the darkness of the Abode of the Dead there is no place there's no darkness that our God has not yet entered into there is nothing that the eyes of Jesus have not seen so why not let him see us because here's the thing we can say behold the man and we do we look upon him he's looking on his gaze but there's this other word to behold and to be held this is the secret for the Christian Life in so many ways to behold God and to behold what it costs him to love us but also to be held by him the problem is I'm not willing to do either sometimes the problem is I'm not willing to take the time to behold them I don't have room to behold them I can't be bothered to Behold Him and then also I'm too ashamed to be held by him I'm too self-willed to be held by him I'm too stupid to be held by him I'm too broken to be held by him Jane she said um she wrote she said I've had cancer three times now and I'm barely past 30. she says there are times when I wonder what I must have done deserves to deserve such a story she said I fear that some I fear sometimes that when I die and meet God that he'll say I disappointed him or offended him or I failed him maybe he'll just say that I never learned the lesson or that I wasn't grateful enough but one thing I am no for sure is this he can never say that he did not know me one thing he can never say is that he did not know me why she says because I'm because I'm God's downstairs neighbor banging on the ceiling with a broomstick I sure up his door show up at his door every day sometimes with songs sometimes with curses sometimes with apologies sometimes with gifts sometimes questions sometimes demands and sometimes I use my key under the mat to let myself in and other times I silk outside until he opens the door to me himself and she lets herself be held this is the secret every one of us beautiful but broken every one of us good but broken in this world that is beautiful but broken in this world that is good but broken do we have the courage to Behold The Gaze of Jesus and do we have the humility to be held by Jesus if I don't I could never be that Saint he wants me to be if I don't I'll never be a son I'll just be I'll have a father but I'll be living as an orphan if I don't Behold Him and be held by him I will always have a father but I'll be living as an orphan Jane had wandered her life she wanted people to see her and say oh my gosh she's amazing how great is God she wanted people to hear her voice and be able to say oh my gosh here's this woman she's incredible how great is God two summers ago Jane went on America's Got Talent she went on as her she had like a pseudonym stage name she got her staging because for three nights in a row she would have a dream that she was was in the middle of the night that she was hearing birds singing and she'd wake up and it was the middle of the night and birds would be singing she's like that's so weird Birds shouldn't sing at night they should sing when Dawn comes but she said these night birds they're birds that are willing to sing about the dawn while it's still dark and so her stage name is nightbird I think is dumb but that's okay I mean it's kind of weird I don't know I mean I like the story behind it but it's why not Jane Jane's fine she went on America's Got Talent and she sang her song that she had written about her life and about the Lord and about being the God's downstairs neighbor when the the panel of judges got done listening to her Simon said I'm sorry I can't I can't send you to the next round and he leaned all the way across the desk and he sent her all the way to the final round gave her the golden buzzer the next day Jane had the number one song in the world on iTunes it's been downloaded millions of times not only is Jane's music out in the world Jane's story is out into the world and people asked her about it and she she said this she said Jane you're a star now people all know your name and they all know about God because of you and the irony wasn't lost on her she said I thought it would be sparklier than this she said I didn't imagine standing before the world with so many bruises I didn't expect that my Shining Moment In my shining moment I'd be suffering in front of an audience I've always expected Miracles but I thought the miracle would be that I could skip to the end pain-free I thought the miracle would make me scar free and brand new Jane died last summer but before she died she said this she said I did get a miracle just not the one I wanted I get to look for the light and find it I get to see how much love can endure and I get to walk the journey with thousands of people like me who can't stop hoping no matter how hard they try how can someone live like that how can someone die like that there is only one way there's only one way and it's not by being superhuman it's not by being scar-free it's not by having no suffering it's about saying okay God in my suffering I'm going to take time to behold you into my shame I'm going to let myself be held by you every person in this room tonight God declares I know you you are beautiful and broken God declares his love over you declaring you are worth my death you're worth My Broken Heart you're worth what it costs me to love you so why won't you behold me why won't you let yourself be held by me is the last thing God is closest to us in our pain God is closest to us in our Brokenness God is closest to us in the shadow parts of our hearts but if we're too busy if that those lives are too full if we're just moving too fast if we're too much in a hurry then we'll miss out on the entire point of life the entire point of life to have a heart like his the entire point of life to share that heart with the people around us the entire point of life which is you didn't lose your beauty when you got broken you didn't cease to be good when everything broke but you and I will never be never be whole unless we let God into the Brokenness unless we let God into the shame until we behold his gaze and let ourselves be held in his arms amen [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Word on Fire Institute

Views: 758,480

Keywords: bishop barron, word on fire, good news conference, good news conference 2022, good news, catholic speaker, catholic talk, catholic conference, catholic, the mystery of suffering, healing, suffering, fathers love, fr mike schmitz, mystery of the cross, redemptive suffering, christian suffering, catholic suffering, meaning of suffering, catholicism, talk on suffering, father mike schmitz, fr mike schmitz talk, christian talk on suffering, christian beauty, fr mike, fr schmitz

Id: XuNYgicVvZ0

Length: 49min 48sec (2988 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 28 2023